#vietnameseblood

[jujus-writing-journal]

teaser of my vietnamese story

11:01pm, Fri 26.06.20

"don't gamble with chickens" backstory - dad gambled with money for whichever chicken won over the other chickens in Sydney after migrating...

i use to be grey. i never strongly upheld any-thing, except that I was an outsider, a wanderer, a prodigal. But here i am writing this, while listening to the soundtrack to Back to the Future (one of my childhood jams).

yes, a prodigal that came back. and no big bang caused me to 'wake up' from this identity crisis. i woke up heavy headed... making my bed, opening my curtains and trying to remember last night's dream and feeling guilty for the deed i did. but this time -  like in one of jim carry's awakening line series - i felt like i got it. i'm stuck in an endless waking dream - the dream of repeating the same mistake of - fighting with the chickens.

[CUT]

i never claimed myself as 'yellow.' don't know if the universe is mocking me or playing games because my vietnamese name means a 'yellow' coloured bird. i tried to sound so well speaking 'English.' i feel guilty and sick knowing i tried to prove my self around others.

[CUT]

and covid19 came - blessing and a curse  i can't run from my self or the chickens.

then i received verbal criticism my silent enemy "you're not good at Vietnamese as I thought" - they say -the oil, soy sauce, spices boiled in my blood...

note - chickens (is my mother).

--

^ Extract from my draft for my Vietnamese story.

[damiencarduner]

“C'est à l'endroit où l'eau est la plus profonde qu'elle est le plus calme.” Artist: @monsieurnov #calm #naturallight #monsieurnov #singer #french #portrait #zen #asian #vietnam #vietnameseblood #artist #chinoischevelue #soul #portraitphotography

[jolitam]

My sister got so excited cause she won against the boys. 😌😂 #vietnameseblood #gambleholic