#vicky? deserves an award for putting up with ryan

[the-melting-point-of-silver]

if there’s one thing about me it’s that i will defend the women of throam until i die

[marredbyoverlength]

Year-End Awards Extravaganza: 2017

It’s been a heck of a year for movies, fellas.

Of the 81 new films I saw in 2017 (or, rather, the 2017 Awards Year, running from February 2017 to February 2018), I scored 20 at 8 or above, and only 21 at 4 or below. No matter what you want from your movies, there’s a 2017 movie you’ll love.

So let’s get right into it!

Best Leading Performance: Timothée Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name

An absolutely perfect performance. His character, a teenage boy figuring out his sexuality, has been done plenty of times before, but never quite so well. What Chalamet brings to the character is a beautifully authentic vulnerability, capturing both the impulsiveness and the unconfidence of teenage love without the slightest hint of pretense or melodrama. Even more impressively, his relationship with Armie Hammer, which could have felt exploitative given the age difference, is the most sincere on-screen romance in years, maybe in decades.

Two scenes in particular stand out in my memory: in one, Hammer is joking with Chalamet, who tries to keep his composure before collapsing. “I don’t want you to leave,” he says. It’s a simple line, but Chalamet imbues it with enormous power just from the way he moves his body. In the other, behind the end credits, he doesn’t say anything. He just stares into a fire, trying to hide his tears from his parents, who, of course, know that he’s crying and why he’s crying. You can see in his eyes that he knows, too.

Honorable Mentions: Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water; Doug Jones, The Shape of Water; Margot Robbie, I, Tonya; Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread; Vicky Krieps, Phantom Thread; Ryan Gosling, Blade Runner 2049; Kim Tae-ri, The Handmaiden.

Best Supporting Performance: Michael Stuhlbarg, Call Me By Your Name

Stuhlbarg was very good in The Shape of Water and The Post, but he was at his best here. He delivers one of the warmest performances in recent history, the kind of performance that makes you love the character the instant you meet him. There’s just so much joy behind his eyes, so much genuine love for his son.

That alone would be enough to secure this award, but near the end of the movie, he delivers the best monologue of the decade. In that scene, he consoles his son, who has just lost his first love, filling lines that could easily have been cheesy with immense love, sincerity, and wisdom: “if there is pain, nurse it. And if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out.”

Honorable Mentions: Rooney Mara, A Ghost Story; Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water; Michael Shannon, The Shape of Water; Michelle Williams, All The Money in the World; Christoph Waltz, Downsizing; Allison Janney, I, Tonya; Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread, Gil Birmingham, Wind River; Ana de Armas, Blade Runner 2049; Tracy Letts, Lady Bird; Jeff Goldblum, Thor: Ragnarok.

The Costner Award for Worst Performance: Dane DeHaan, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Now that I’ve gushed sufficiently to embarrass myself, I’ll recover by saying mean things.

As much as I would love to give this to Gerard Butler again (and boy would he deserve it), this category was a blowout. DeHaan, as the titular character, did absolutely nothing right. His voice was unnatural. His face was totally blank. He even had a stupid haircut. He’s supposed to be suave, but every time he tries to woo Cara Delevingne, he comes off sniveling and pathetic. He’s supposed to be brave, but he comes off stupid. He was the worst part of every scene he was in, and he was in nearly every scene. And I usually like Dane DeHaan. What the hell happened?

Honorable Mention: Gerard Butler, Geostorm.

Nicest Surprise:  xXx: Return of Xander Cage

xXx is a stupid franchise with a stupid premise. So stupid, in fact, that I only saw this movie because I lost a bet. But ten minutes into the movie, as Donnie Yen kung fu’d a dozen bureaucrats unconscious, I leaned over to my friend Steve and said “is it just me, or does this rule?” The movie continued to rule for its entire runtime. Highlights: Ruby Rose murders a poacher, Vin Diesel wears the world’s largest fur coat, and Kris Wu becomes an international super-spy entirely on the strength of his DJ skills.

Honorable Mentions: The Circle; I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore; Brigsby Bear.

Winter’s Tale Memorial “What On Earth Am I Watching” Award: The Book of Henry

The Book of Henry is the total package: uniquely bad and uniquely bonkers. (WARNING: spoilers for the most ill-advised movie of the decade ahead.)

The films starts off as a Cute Precocious Kid Movie, something that might have been written by a concussed Salinger wannabe. After 10 or so minutes of that, the Cute Precocious Kid watches the neighbor girl get violently raped by her dad. No, I’m not kidding. Then it’s a Kid Detective movie for 40 minutes or so—before Our Hero dies suddenly of brain cancer. No, I’m still not kidding. Then his mother finds the titular book, which is full of instructions on how to murder the rapist and get away with it. For the rest of the movie, Jaeden Lieberher coaches his mother from beyond the grave on how to assassinate Hank from Breaking Bad.

That doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. Every new development in this film made my jaw hang a little lower, until by the end of the movie I sat there utterly stupefied. It’s a true achievement in poor decision-making.

Honorable Mentions: A Dog’s Purpose; Vengeance: A Love Story; Geostorm.

Most Insulting Moment: The dancing scene, The Book of Henry

Near the end of The Book of Henry, the school principal finally figures out that the neighbor girl is being abused. But she doesn’t notice the bruises, or listen to the witnesses, or anything that makes sense. Instead, she deduces it from the girl’s interpretative dance for the school talent show. Somehow this is enough not only to convince the principal, but to get the chief of police arrested by his own subordinates.

Colin Trevorrow is among our dumbest working directors.

Honorable Mentions: Dissociative Identity Disorder gives you super-strength, Split; Casting Charlie Sheen in a 9/11 movie, 9/11; The big clock that says “Countdown to Geostorm”, Geostorm.

Best Picture: Twin Peaks: The Return

Ok, yeah, this is a cop-out. Despite what David Lynch will tell you, this really shouldn’t count as a movie. It’s 18 hours long, it’s broken into episodes, and it aired on television.

But to hell with all that. Twin Peaks: The Return is the best movie of the year despite not being a movie. It’s that good. I finished the show a month ago and I’ve thought about it every day since. Episode 8 alone cements it in the pantheon of all-time great television shows; the finale puts it in the top slot.

The Return takes all the loose ends of the original series and at once ties them up and leaves them worse than before. Some plots wrap up neatly: seeing Ed and Norma finally get together is among the best romantic moments in television. Some plots don’t wrap up at all: Audrey is last seen dancing alone at the Roadhouse, having learned nothing and forgotten nothing. Some plots are deliberately cut short, as if to taunt the viewer: Richard Horne literally explodes for no discernible reason.

But somehow, all that jumbled mess, which at times seems disconnected not only from reality but from itself, is all an indispensable part of the whole. It’s holistic cinema: every part is important, and no part is important. It’s a beautiful and terrifying exploration of destiny, duality, identity, and purpose, too big to be contained in a feature-length film.

Honorable Mentions: A Ghost Story; Logan; your name.; The Handmaiden; Blade Runner 2049.

First Runner Up and Best Actual Movie: Call Me By Your Name.

That’s it for 2017. Thanks for another fun year!

[jennaschererwrites]

2017 Oscars: 20 Best, Worst and Most WTF Moments | Rolling Stone

[Note: Only the moments I wrote up are below. For the full rundown, visit the link.]

Best: ‘Moonlight’ Wins Best Picture The fact that it was preceded by a historically awkward gaffe shouldn’t overshadow the fact that Moonlight’s win is hugely deserving of celebration. Even if it did not come in the wake of last year’s #OscarsSoWhite controversy, the Best Picture statuette going to Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney’s black, queer Bildungsroman represents a sea change for an Academy that has often seemed to be out of touch with innovation and diversity in filmmaking. There were a lot of solid contenders from 2016, but no movie in years has approached the subtle, powerful artistry, nor the searing sociopolitical relevance, of this major work of art. Now, about that envelope mixup…

Worst: 'Suicide Squad’ Is an Oscar-Winning Movie You know who has never won an Academy Award? Alfred Hitchcock. Annette Bening. Peter O'Toole. Ava DuVernay. You know what has? Suicide Squad, DC’s excrementally bad, straight-to-Hot Topic supervillain flick that got a whopping 26% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Just think about that for a sec. Granted, the statuette was for Makeup and Hairstyling – but the movie’s greatest achievement on that front was to make Jared Leto’s Joker look like a second-string member of Insane Clown Posse. We should add that this wasn’t Suicide Squad’s only awards nod this year; it was also nominated for two Razzies.

Best: Supporting Actor Wins for Viola Davis and Mahershala Ali History was made twofold last night: Mahershala Ali became the first Muslim actor to win an Academy Award, and Viola Davis became the first African-American woman to achieve the coveted triple crown of acting (an Oscar, an Emmy and a Tony). The two were both clear standouts in their categories – Ali for his turn as a complex father figure in Moonlight and Davis for her powerhouse performance opposite Denzel Washington in Fences (a role for which she also won a Tony in 2010). And they delivered two of the night’s most memorable speeches: Ali gave a sweet shout-out to “serving the character” and his newborn daughter; and Davis’ incredible, showstopping ode to the power of storytelling. “I became an artist,” she said. “And thank God I did, because we are the only profession to celebrate what it means to live a life.”

Worst: Opening With That Timberlake 'Trolls’ Song Performance Look, there’s nothing wrong with “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”, Justin Timberlake’s peppy earworm of a single from Trolls. There’s also nothing wrong with the Oscar powers that be wanting to get some of the Best Original Song performances out of the way early in the night. But using it to kick off the show in lieu of the usual sketch or montage? The move came off as random at best and tone-deaf at worst. We all get a kick out of a little J.T. song 'n’ dance, but it doesn’t exactly set the stage for the night to come. That said, the charismatic Timberlake would have made a way fine cohost for Kimmel. Maybe he can just stick around after the music ends next time?

Worst: That Tourist Bus Bit The Academy Awards have frequently been accused of being too insular – and maybe bringing a bunch of random tourists front and center is perhaps not the best solution to that problem. In classic late-night talk-show host style, Kimmel orchestrated a stunt in which he brought the passengers of a tour bus into the Dolby Theater. What followed were a painfully awkward few minutes in which the group waded through the front row shaking the hands of celebs while the Master of Ceremonies made fun of their names and generally treated the whole affair like a zoo exhibit — whether the tourists or the A-listers were the ones on display remains unclear. Still, we are very happy for Vicki and her fiancé Gary, who were “married” by a very game Denzel Washington.

Best: Emma Stone’s Acceptance Speech Whether or not you thought the La La Land star’s performance was the best from an actress last year or not, you have to give it up to Emma Stone: She delivered a charming-as-hell winning speech. It was a study in class, from paying tribute to the other nominees (“I look up to you, and I admire you more than I can put into words”) to acknowledging her own relative lack of experience (“I still have a lot of growing and learning and work to do, and this guy is a really beautiful symbol to continue on that journey”). And if that didn’t seal the deal, Stone’s promise to her friends that she would “hug the hell out of you when the feeling reenters my body” was pretty sweet.

Worst: Explicitly Political Punches Were Pulled It’s an open question as to how much of a responsibility awards shows have (or don’t have) to tie the proceedings into current events. But considering how much of what the Academy Awards celebrate is in peril thanks to the present political climate – from support for the arts to freedom of expression to a spirit of globalism – many presenters and winners alike were more guarded than expected. Except for Foreign Language Film winner Asghar Farhadi’s boycott, there was no moment on par with, say, Meryl Streep’s fiery anti-Trump speech at the Golden Globes last month. Considering the Oscar ceremony’s long history as a soapbox, 2017’s mood was surprisingly subdued.

Best: The Presenters Who Would Make Great Hosts Presenting award is an art that not all actors have mastered (lookin’ at you, Warren Beatty), but the ones who do can make or break the evening. Saturday Night Live MVP Kate McKinnon made a meal of co-presenting the Makeup and Hairstyling and Costume Design categories (“Costumes are the cost of humes”); Dwayne Johnson performed a jokey bit of his number from Moana before introducing his costar Auli'i Cravalho’s nominated song; and John Cho and Leslie Mann made a delightfully screwball double act announcing the winners of the Scientific and Technical Awards. Incidentally, any one of these people would make swell future Oscars cohosts. Cho/Mann for 2018!

Worst: Outsourcing the 'La La Land’ Performances Among La La Land’s record number of nominations were not one but two Original Song contenders: the winning “City of Stars” and “Audition (The Fools Who Dream).” In the movie, they’re performed by the film’s leads, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling – so it rang a little false when both stars demurred from performing and ceded the mic to actual singer John Legend (who played a supporting role). The crooner’s polished covers only threw into relief the fact that neither Stone nor Gosling really has the vocal chops to carry a musical. We’re not one to look a gift Legend performance in the mouth, but considering that 16-year-old newcomer Auli'i Cravalho performed her Moana song like a champ, the La La Land-ers’ non-performance felt a bit like a cop-out.