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malina-33 · 1 year

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Femme Like You - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Summary: You are the new tour manager for Arctic Monkeys during The Car era. You are practically the only girl in the team, also younger than the rest (27 y.o.), so your skills are immediately called into question. In particular, by the frontman who is not used to being led by a woman.

Word count: 10,2k

Warnings: swearing, emotional swing (is it even a warning?), kind of voyeurism (slight), age gap

A/N: Dear friends, hi!! I know, I know that I've promised you to update the fic every 3 weeks, and the disappeared for 1.5 months, but I spontaneously found a job, so there was very little time. But the chapter is much longer and with some interesting collaborations ;) I'll hope you enjoy them!

And write down what do you think if I make a description of not only the whole work, but also the chapter before each new part? Or is it better to keep the intrigue till the end?

In any case, I look forward to your feedback, it's soooo much important for me. I won't promise to return before the end of September, but I'll do my best not to delay. I already have an interesting plot for the next chapters, you should like it💔

*guys, English isn't my first language so if I have (and I know I have lol) any grammar/logic mistakes don't hesitate to tell me :)

The first week after meeting with the group flew by unnoticed. You dealt with the documentation, understanding how necessary it is, no matter how much you hated it, phoned the representatives of Ashton Gate stadium, made sure that everything was okay and confirmed the presence of the group and even tried to check the weather since the gig would be held outside. However, it turned out to be a little more difficult with the transport company. Apparently, James forgot to warn them about the temporary removal of his duties, so you had to spend time clarifying the situation and explaining who you are. It seemed that your hands-on approach was excessive, because you were trying to control everything in one time, but only due to the feeling of extra responsibility.

Steven, as promised, sent the contacts of the guys and important people from the technical crew, so now your phone had the names of Jamie Cook, Nick O'Malley, Matthew Helders and Alex "dickhead" Turner among others. 19 years old you would definitely envy yourself. So when you got a message while cooking pasta for dinner on Saturday night, you already knew it was from the drummer and not from an anonymous online scammer.

Matthew Helders: "good evening, Miss Y/S! I hope you aren't busy. We'll wait you on the soundcheck on Monday at 2 pm in Domino, need your advice :)"

You almost overcooked Carbonara bacon rereading the message. "Do they really need my advice?" you whispered, furrowing your brows "About what?". But the only answer was:

You: "Sure! Do I need to take some 12% cider?"

Matthew Helders: "you better not show up without a package lol"

Immediately followed by:

Matthew Helders: "just kidding! We are waiting only for you, but in the company of cider it will be even better)"

You chuckled, surprised at how quickly Matt went from formal Miss at the beginning of the conversation to smiles and lols at the end. To tell the truth, you still didn't fully understand how to behave with them. On the one hand, you are their manager and have a certain influence, as well as subordination. Steven and James don't have it, although they are "higher" in position, but they've been friends for half of a life, and you are a completely new person. On the other hand, in this area there is no place for strict formalities, especially since the guys don't look like those who would comply with them. After all they were big kids no matter how mature and pretentious they could look on stage, and you clearly felt it. Maybe your company will help them to relax even more, so there won't be any awkwardness and you will naturally find an edge where all of you will feel comfortable and which no one will cross.

With those thoughts, Carbonara and Rosé you spent your Saturday night watching your favorite series "La Piovra". You got used to such calm and quiet evenings. The era of parties until the morning has passed in the university years, and it’s not that you don’t go to clubs now, it’s just that the older you become the better you began to appreciate moments of silence. Not to be bored alone with yourself is the most valuable skill that you have acquired in your life. Having lived first with your parents for a long time, then getting married early at the age of 20 and having lived with your husband for 3 years, you were essentially not left alone with yourself. Having discovered over time that you feel absolutely nothing for the person whom you said "yes" to in the registry office, you were horrified and frightened to say at least. You thought that you get married once for a lifetime, but it turned out that happy endings exist only in fairy tales. That period of despondency, depression and eventual deepening into work gave its results. Major labels began to notice you, inviting you to musical projects with famous bands such as Maneskin. You worked with them for 1.5 years, leaving after their heyday at the Eurovision, realizing that you can’t give them more. That was your second decision to leave, but unlike the divorce, it didn't bring you much suffering. You understood that you and the group gave each other a lot, and although the parting was bitter, everyone understood that it was necessary. You still remained friends with the guys and periodically wrote off to meet. You planned to go to their concert, but couldn't find the time. And after your assignment to the Monkeys it became even more harder to shedule.

After the divorce you didn't have a serious relationship, instead you had a dream job, money, a car, a country house and even a corgi Grapes. You weren't afraid of the future, loved the time in seclusion and found inner peace by meditating on the production of cider, which was your unusual but very tasty hobby. Were you fully happy, though? Wouldn't you like to cross the threshold of the house and be met not by a dog's barking, but by a warm kiss on the forehead and a quiet "how was your day"? You probably wanted to, but it was hard to admit, especially considering that the fear of intimacy sat somewhere deep inside, not letting you forget the disappointment that you experienced when you removed the engagement ring from your finger. Although you remained friends who didn't hold evil against each other, the bitterness of your marriage was almost impossible to remove from the memories.

But for now, your head has been occupied by the sudden question of where to put Grapes for the duration of the tour...

Monday morning was sunny and peaceful, you woke up in a surprisingly good mood, put on your make-up, put on your favorite lime flared jeans, loaded a case of apple drink from the basemеnt into the car, patted Grapes and drove off to the studio. The road took about an hour, so during this time you managed to phone your father. You haven't talked much lately due to your workload, and now was almost the only time of the day when you were relatively free. You put the speaker phone mode, listening to the slightly hoarse voice of the man, without being distracted from the road.

"Hello my dear! How are you?"

"Hi daddy, I'm fine, going to work right now"

"My busy bee, James has already told me about your progress" you could hear him chuckle, coughing a little. You could only guess what Ford said to your father, because you spoke to him only once in these 2 weeks, when you recalled him after meeting with the group. And not that your story was very colorful. Therefore, the guys or Steven contacted him, and from this point of view, you couldn't imagine what they possibly come up with towards you.

"He assured me the boys liked you"

"Oh, really?" you said on the exhale, squeezing your hands on the steering wheel tightly.

"Yes, James is pleased with you. Well done, babe!" you melted under his words. It felt like you were a little girl again who drew a family picture that was hung on the refrigerator, even though mom and dad looked like monsters.

"Thank you daddy, I'm very happy to be with them actually"

"Of course, in such a company of men. Should I be jealous? 'Cause I looked through their photos on the Internet" dad said proudly, to which you burst out laughing, stopping at a traffic light.

"Dad, c'mon, no! They're too old for me" you laughed.

"10 years are not a big deal. Anyway, your choice. Just don't forget to eat please, I know how tough you work now. Otherwise you'll get drunk on your cider. God, how did you even manage to get into this alcohol sphere..." the man groaned in prostration. You rolled your eyes, but still smiled without answering. You got used to your father's fast flow of different thoughts.

"And don't roll your eyes, little naughty one! I care about you. So if they hurt you, you know who to call, right?"

"Oi, who will offend whom first" you retorted defiantly.

"Okay okay, I won't interrupt anymore. Kiss Grapes for me. I love you"

"And I love you very much, hello mom"

"I'll pass it on, bye!"

You turned off the call, fully focusing on the road. After talking with your parents, you always felt warm in your soul, so up to the studio you didn't leave a smile when you sang songs from the radio under your breath.

You arrived exactly at 2 o'clock, as agreed with Matt, but when you saw a few more cars in the parking lot in addition to the familiar Cadillac, you realized that the guys had been here for a long time. You must have looked a little ridiculous in a business suit and heels and a wooden box under your arm, but you didn't have other choice. Holding the car key in your mouth and trying to press the button at the same time, you clumsily closed the trunk with your leg. A purse was still dangling somewhere on your shoulder, and sunglasses had slipped from head to the bridge of your nose. "Must be an amazing picture to observe" you thought tiredly "Oh, if only Matt were here".

But before you had time to think about it, you heard a soft laugh behind you. You turned around sharply, noticing the frontman smoking alone near the entrance. You spat the key into the box, finally pressing the right button, and shouted

"And how long do you look?"

"I came exactly at the most interesting moment" man smiled, taking a puff.

You heavily crossed the entire parking lot, approaching him. Turner, having finished smoking a cigarette and throwing it into a nearby trash can, silently took the box from your hands.

"Hi, Y/N" he greeted you wheezing nicotine in the lungs.

"Hi," you frowened a little, but slowly added "Alex".

Calling him by his first name was... Unusual. A week ago the appeal to him was exclusively Mr. Turner, but today he was the first to break this line. "Well, apparently, we will both have problems with the boundaries of what is acceptable" bitterly flashed through your thoughts.

You both entered the building - Alex with a box in front, you behind holding the door. The way was silent. You wanted to say something to break this crystal quietness of his, but by the time you mustered up the courage, you stopped at the door 13A. The vocalist pushed it with his left shoulder, squeezing the alcohol forward, and you trotted along.

As soon as you and Alex entered the sound studio, you were immediately greeted with whistling and loud hooting.

"Look who's here, Miss Y/N"

"Hi, guys! I'm here with gifts as promised" you smiled broadly.

Alex at this time put the box on the table and immediately took one bottle for himself.

You noticed that there were Tyler and Tom in the studio as well, so you mentally praised yourself for taking bottles with a margin. You didn't know them personally yet, but was willing to change it. Turner introduced you to the men, and surprisingly you didn't hear his usual sneer in the voice.

"So, welcome Y/N Y/S, she's our manager for the summer before America starts and James gets back"

"Happy to finally meet you!" you were the first to extend your hand to Tyler, which he shook gently, smiling affably, and then to Tom. But he intercepted your hand, kissing your knuckles and making you laugh.

"Mutually, Miss" Rowley said enchanted.

"And she makes her own awesome cider, get one" Matt ordered businesslike, raising his voice from behind the drum kit.

"Yeah, there is enough for everyone, don't hesitate to take"

Evidently you arrived during the break, and before that they had already rehearsed a bit. You were wondering what kind of advice they need from you. The thought that they just needed cider you pushed back with a grin. But Alex, as if reading your thoughts, leisurely started speaking leaning on the table and holding a drink.

"Well, thanks for the cider, but that's not what we called you for. Since you're such a big fan of My Propeller, we discussed it here and decided that it's possible to put one on the set list for a couple of times. So listen to how it sounds, maybe have some ideas or whatevah" he was trying to sound casual, not attaching importance to his words for you.

"I'll do my best!" you almost jumped from such news.

Jamie chuckled audibly, running his fingers over the guitar. You sat down on the couch as Matt tapped the rhythm with his sticks and the melody began.

Seductive. The first association that came to your mind when you heard the intro of this song. It was your favorite from Humbug for sure and one of the band's all time favorites. Alex never told in any interview what was the secret of the lyrics, and probably that was the reason it attracted you even more. The guys played it selflessly, as if there hadn't been those decades that they hadn't performed it. You liked how they gave themselves to the process, even if it was just a rehearsal. They were in simple t-shirts and Matt was proudly wearing pineapple shorts, but you could swear, a real concert was unfolding right in front of you.

When Alex started singing you tried to hide the goosebumps as best as you could, but it hardly worked out well. His voice flowed melodically, not betraying a hint of wheezing or breaking, which could arise due to the age. He closed his eyes, tightly gripping the microphone stand, and moved his feet to the beat, slightly ridiculous, but at the same time gracefully. Throughout the song, you didn’t take your eyes off the group for a minute, sometimes singing along to the words, pulling the last syllable of

Coax me out my law

And have a spin of my propeller

When the song ended, you clapped and Nick even made a mock bow.

“I don’t know how objective my assessment will be, because apart from the words of delight I have nothing to add” you honestly admitted. It seemed to you that you heard Alex's quiet "As I said", but Matt was quick to interrupt him asking you "Actually, we have already decided to play it in Bristol, but the question is where to chip in. We'll definitely not start with this one, and the outro is already completed, so..."

You thought a little, trying to understand what motives My Propeller reminds you of, and then the penny dropped.

"Pretty Visitors!" you exclaimed louder than you should have because your words echoed through the silent studio.

"Smooth interlude from Pretty Visitors, yeah, not bad actually" Alex quickly developed your idea, turning to Matt, as if asking "Do you mind?", but the drummer only closed his eyes approvingly. It seemed that they didn't need any words at all, they could understand each other with guitar riffs and drum brakes. Their connection, it was amazing, honed to automatism for past 20 years. They were like scientists in a chemistry lab mixing potions together in an attempt to make a new elixir. It was magic to come true and watching this process was so intimate that you involuntarily felt the heat on your cheeks, as if you were engaged in voyeurism.

***

The hours in the studio flew by. Fortunately for you, the guys decided to surprise fans with the return of Mardy Bum which will be the opener. The exact setlist for Bristol was confirmed at the end of the rehearsal, bringing back Teddy Picker and The View From The Afternoon as well. So looking at the perfect 21 songs, you could only imagine what they would save for London. Originally you were going to visit their concert in your hometown, you bought tickets as soon as sales were announced, but after James's call you easily gave the ticket to a friend, saying that you had won a jackpot.

Tom and Tyler have already left and the five of you are left. You were sitting on a soft chair, moved from the corner of the room, and the guys opposite on the sofas. The boys had laid down their guitars and you were leding a peaceful conversation about life, since the studio rental time ended only in an hour. You told them about your career in the industry, Maneskin and the part time projects you've been working on lately, omitting the details of your divorce because you thought it was too early for them to immerse themselves in such personal aspects of your life.

"By the way, Vic is your big fan and Alex in particular" you giggled, remembering the way drunk Maneskin bassist told you that she would like to sleep with Turner. Those were the carefree times of your youth you warmly remembered.

"Really?" Matt raised his eyebrows as he sipped his seemingly endless bottle of cider "You still have their contacts, right?"

"Yeah, sure, we even text each other occasionally" you quipped.

"And you didn't say you were working with us?" Heldres was surprised.

"Actually, somehow it didn't seem possible" you lowered your gaze, "I mean what would it look like? "Hey guys, look who's here, I now manage the Monkeys btw?" - so what?"

You could tell by the Cheshire smile on Matt's bristly face that this was exactly how he thought.

"Oh no, Matthew, don't you-"

"Oh yes, darling, dial FaceTime, you'll show them our doll" the man neighed, turning to Alex, who had been sitting quietly on the couch until this moment, and fidgeted in place after the suggestion.

"For God's sake, Matt, what a kindergarten behavior" the vocalist howled irritably, rolling his eyes, "I don't even remember their names".

The idea of making fun of Turner a little for the morning case with the box and taking revenge seemed to you unexpectedly delightful. Your hand automatically sank into your pants pocket, deftly pulling it out into the light and finding the right WhatsApp chat.

"Don't worry, you just have to say hi to Vic, I'm sure you'll be fine" you sang sweetly, glancing slyly at Matt, who chuckled approvingly, glad that you supported his idea.

Alex only cursed at this and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it. Either from nerves, or putting his hair in order before the call.

You moved from your seat to the couch between Alex and Matt, gesturing for Nick and Jamie to join. You put your hand in front of you so only your face was visible in the camera frame, waiting for one of the guys to take the call. It might have been a little ill-advised to call like this without warning on a workday evening, but anyway it was already too late, as the beeps trailed in a string of sounds. You hoped that they didn't have a concert today, in any other case, one of them would definitely pick up the phone from you. And by a happy coincidence, it was Vic who ended up on your screen.

"What the hell, Miss Boogie, are you really occasionally calling after all this time of silence?" despite Victoria de Angelis's accusatory words, she sounded playful. She was a little disheveled and with a bright blush on her face. People were walking randomly with the string interruptions in the background. Apparently, the guys were at the soundcheck at one of the venues, and Vic recently finished playing.

Four pairs of eyes openly stared at you with undisguised interest after hearing the nickname, demanding an answer, but you just mouthed "later".

"Awww, sweetheart, and I'm happy to hear you again too!" you said with an ironic smile.

"I have a lot of news for you, and I will definitely call you in private soon"

"Are you not alone? Who's with you?" the girl even moved closer to the camera in an attempt to see something.

"Well, I have a little surprise for you. Actually four surprises, but one of them you'll find really special" you said conspiratorially, looking around at the guys who were still out of the picture. Alex sat to your right, trying to portray the most distant look, as if everything that was happening was nothing more than baby talk for him.

"Darling, if you have a group orgy without me, then I will be offended and drop the call" the bassist said threateningly, wiping her forehead with a towel that was hung on her shoulder.

You just burst out laughing "Ok ok, I'm not languishing you anymore. I hope you're ready. Boys, say hi to Vics" and you finally moved the camera further so that Matt, Nick and Jamie, who were sitting to your left, got into the camera frame, Alex's appearance you saved for a dessert.

The musician's reaction exceeded all your expectations. At first she narrowed her eyes, bringing the phone even closer to face, and then she widened them with a loud squeal, jumping up from her seat.

"What the hell, Y/N! What the actual fuck, you're a shitty mutherfucker!!!" she covered her mouth with her hand, chaotically moving the phone in different directions. Apparently, other members of the group came running to her scream, as you heard the voice of Damiano asking what happened.

"What happened?" she repeated "The fucking Arctic Monkeys are sitting next to Y/N!" answering a question off-camera and stabilizing the phone. Now you could clearly see the vocalist leaning over her shoulder, Thomas to the side and Ethan slightly behind.

Finally, the men next to you decided to introduce themselves "Hey, guys, what's new?" Matt said smiling to the camera, Jamie and Nick just waved their hands in a friendly manner.

"Oh my God, what's going on" Vic, still dumbfounded, spoke with a face of complete amazement. Damiano, who quickly figured out the whole situation and realized that Vic was unlikely to be able to communicate normally now, carefully took the phone from her hands.

"Hi, Y/N, long time no see! Hi, boys, how fresh you are" the frontman winked. The words "for your age" were suggested mutely, but David left them behind the scenes. The men next to you just laughed quietly at this remark and saluted the Italian boy.

"Vic, that's not all yet, look who's next to me" wanting to finally finish off your friend, you moved the camera to the side, revealing Alex's presence, who was already sitting with a polite smile on his face, leaning on the sofa armrest.

"Hi, love" Turner murmured hoarsely, turning on his usual charisma. You were surprised how quickly he went from "fuck off everyone" to his stage persona. Indeed, a skill acquired over the years.

De Angelis, after looking at the camera for just a second, squealed even harder than the first time, which you even grimaced a little, because in a quiet studio it sounded deafening.

The camera was still held by Damiano, but the girl in the frame could be seen doubled over, holding back cries of happiness. Her guys just laughed out loud at this, knowing full well what a strong fan of Alex she was.

"Y/N, I'm going to fucking kill you, I'll strap your ass so you can't sit still for another week, what are you doing to me?" Vic didn't let go of expressions, which made the men next to you shamelessly laugh, even Turner smiled predatoryly.

"Holy shit, you're real" the girl muttered in one breath.

Her adoration entertained Alex. Celebrities fangirling celebrities wasn't an unknown story for Alex, so the way Vic behaved didn't annoy him, but brought a feeling of sincere pleasure from what was happening.

"It would be strange if I wasn't, mhm?" the man grunted, changing the position - now he rested elbows on his knees, bringing the face closer to your phone. You could smell his light apple scent from the cider you both drank and the cigarette halo that soaked into all of the frontman's clothes.

Damiano finally decided to take control over the situation by turning the camera completely on himself.

"So, Y/N, if you wanted to surprise Vic, then you succeeded 100%! But we are now at soundcheck, and we don't have much time, and she" nodding towards the bassist "still needs to be brought to her senses. We were extremely happy to hear from you, babe. Call us when you are free and tell us everything in detail. Miss you very much!"

"Guys, me too! Love ya, see you at Glasto!"

"Wait! Take a screenshot!" Vic's desperate exclamation came from Damiano's left side.

He made a focused face, looking for the right buttons, while you and the men simultaneously smiled at the camera.

"Send it to the chat" you asked, ending the call and blowing a virtual kiss. You obviously cut off Vic's "I love you" without being entirely sure it was addressed to you.

The studio immediately froze in deafening silence. You put your phone down on the coffee table, still smiling.

"That was a real buzz, they're cute" Matt said leaning back on the couch. The mood of the guys clearly improved by this little conversation. You were glad that you could somehow diversify their evening after a productive and exhausting day. Even Alex stopped keeping his always compressed lips and frowning eyebrows.

"So, Miss Boogie, right?" Jamie began slyly, reminding you of your infamous nickname.

An approving "ooooo" reverberated around the room, from which you hid behind your palms.

"Damn, I was hoping you'd forget" you muttered from your hiding place.

"C'mon, we're intrigued already" Nick reached out to you through Matt, gently taking your hands away from your face.

Jamie suddenly started chanting your name, encouraging you to reveal this terrible secret, and Matt whistled as if Sheffield FC had just scored a goal.

"God, okay, just shut up please" you gave up.

The four men took more comfortable positions in anticipation of your story.

"In fact, there is nothing special in this story, it's just stupid. When Maneskin was approved for Eurovision, we went to celebrate, how can we not. It was in Milan. We got very drunk in a bar and went for a walk around the city. It was about 3 in the morning, and to entertain ourselves we played Truth or Dare. The most banal thing that could be, but nothing better came to mind. And I chose Dare, 'cause everyone else only cowardly told their secrets. So Vic asked me to dance for a minute on the street to any song that a passerby would name. Well, since at such time you are unlikely to meet any adequate passerby, we only found a beggar in the square. I don’t know how old he was, but the first song that he remembered was Boogie Wonderland" at this point you made a dramatic pause, "so yes, I had to dance to this song at night in front of other poor people who came up to us. Since then they call me Miss Boogie. Everyone is satisfied now, having fun, huh?"

You intentionally crossed your arms in insult, surreptitiously watching the laughing band.

"I bet there's a video" Matt said cheekily.

"Yes, there is, but you'll never see it!" you retorted quickly, glaring at the drummer.

"Your hot cheeks make me want to see this video even more" Nick teased tapping Matt on the shoulder.

"You know what," Alex suddenly announced, "choose any song you want. We play it, and you show the video"

You could swear your jaw was somewhere on the floor.

"Woah, did you decide to go all-in?" Matt asked, also not expecting such a generous offer "Be careful, otherwise you will have to play a Taylor Swift song"

"Ouch, why do you think I like her?"

"Who doesn't like her?"

"Your truth" you nodded approvingly.

"I meant our song. We'll perform it at the concert" Turner interrupted your dialogue, looking at you testily from under his eyelashes.

There was a slight silence, which you broke with a heavy sigh.

"Wow, okay, this is getting interesting" you muttered, leaning back on the couch like Helders had done earlier. The three men to your left looked at each other in surprise, waiting for an answer, while you've been thinking, looking at the frontman.

"Certain Romance," you easily stated, "I want this one"

"Your wish is my command, Miss Boogie," he joked without any hint of smile, standing up "you guys remember how to play it, don't you?"

The guys looked at each other dumbfounded, unable to find words for such a drastic change in the behavior of the vocalist, but after a discordant series of affirmative nods, they received a condescending smile from him.

"Well, that's great, there's still time to rehearse. I propose Sheffield!" Alex said solemnly, thrusting his hands into the pockets.

"Al, ru ok?" Matt raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"All right, man" Turner said artificially.

"This house is a circus indeed" swirled through your head. Alex's behavior was defiant. Emerging into conflict. Literally a minute ago everything was peace and quiet, and now he, like a proud peacock, was arranging a show for you at the level of a cheap soap opera.

"No, but seriously, let's even organize a lottery, since Y/N has such an influence on the setlist" Alex didn't let up.

"Come on, pipe down, you suggested it yourself" Nick intervened carefully, not wanting to stir up the smoldering coals of the conflict.

"And I think all of you are into this idea, aren't you?" Turner didn't raise his low, heavily accented baritone, but the underlying toxicity in his tone was evident, "oh, even better, let's ask our Italian friends for advice! Let's get their opinion and her video as well".

"Alexander, smoke?" you stood up decisively from the couch, grabbing your purse and phlegmatically glancing at the wooden cider box you'd probably have to leave in the studio. But you couldn’t leave the guys in such an atmosphere, so out of courtesy you promised to return again.

"Y/N, no problem, see you before Bristol! Send the screen to our group, 'cause I'm getting jealous for these Italians" Matt gave you an encouraging wink in the end, and you certainly promised to do it tonight.

"They'll kill each other"

"He doesn't stand a chance"

Jamie and Matt said at the same time as the door closed behind you.

Alex imposingly walked ahead, not hurrying anywhere. He politely said goodbye to the security guard, noting that the rental period had already come to an end. Almost bowing, he opened the door to the street for you, artificially gallantly holding it with his hand, still making a show from every gesture, which for some reason made you feel disgusted. You were counting on working with middle-aged men, accomplished musicians, but it feels like you are talking to teenagers.

Damp cold air from the river hit your red cheeks, which made you wrap yourself in a jacket more tightly. Alex took out a pack of Marlboro, offering you one, but nodding to himself, removed it, remembering your words a week ago practically at the same place.

"Well?" he said with a cigarette in his mouth, lighting the filter.

The sky was overcast with a milky haze of fog, which wasn't uncommon for these places, a weak wind was blowing, but not a single sound from the road was heard, which made you hear sparks from ignited tobacco hiss like champagne bubbles, falling on the asphalt.

Alex exhaled noisily, squinting at you with his eyes. His face was faintly lit by the flame of a cigarette, but even in such low light, it was noticeable that his gaze was completely blank. "Amazingly indifferent and deep eyes at the same time. It's impossible to tell anything from them" you thought. Or maybe he was like this only with unpleasant people to him, who you apparently were. You can’t even imagine the way these eyes changed on stage "Where are you real, Alexander?". But instead of asking this, you just threw your head back, tiredly closing your eyelids, showing with your whole appearance how absurd the situation is.

"Alex," there wasn't any visible point to call him Mr. Turner even though you were annoyed "I thought we made a deal, didn't we?"

"Really? When?" his voice sounded even more affected than in the studio, despite the fact that now the man spoke rather quietly and slowly. Or maybe even a whisper would be loud in this ringing silence.

"I just don't understand what the problem is" you continued, as if you didn't hear his words.

"I don't see it either, Miss Y/S"

You raised your eyebrows high as you asked a silent question, which made Alex smirk slightly. Taking a puff, he began to explain to you with the intonation of a parent teaching a child not to put his fingers in the socket.

"Listen, I won't hide it, you brought some chaos to our tour. This is different from your direct duties though - to solve all the problems on our way. But you're a stranger who stirred up our peace and foundation. I was initially against this idea, but James left me no choice. You are undoubtedly an educated young lady, and probably from a moral point of view, I sound like a scoundrel now-"

"You sound unprofessional, Alex. You only make me feel contempt, and I don't care about any moral side"

The frontman looked at you from under his brows, taking out a second cigarette in a row from the pack, waiting for a further reaction, but inside you was a frozen magma that didn't want to break out, muffled by self-esteem. For now.

His words contradicted his behavior. In the morning he carries your boxes and asks for a song advice, and in the evening he gives out this shit. If women's logic is ridiculed by society, then men do not have it at all.

“You know what, when James offered me this job, I was damn excited and proud that I would be working with a team like yours. I was on a cloud nine. But you, Alex, you're just a spoiled boy in the body of a 37-year-old man who hasn't overplayed his ambitions and thinks that his subtle nature is so fragile to understand that you need to hide behind the facade of an asshole so that normal people with good intentions don't crawl into your soul. You are cowardly and arrogant!"

You were breathing heavily, and the words "fool fool fool" stretched on repeat in a red line behind your eyes.

You didn't even understand how they escaped from your lips, absolutely thoughtlessly. You even instinctively wanted to raise a hand to cover your mouth, but pulled yourself back in time, deciding to play to the end. Show after show.

Alex hadn't raised a cigarette to his face during your tirade, so that the wick was almost dead in his fingers. You intensively looked at each other without stopping, and at some point it seemed to you that fear flashed in his pupils. Fear of the revealed truth. However, they were covered with a thick veil of indifference to what was happening in a second, and he finally took the last puff, throwing the butt right on the road.

"Miss Y/S, it seems that you have to go" the musician said unemotionally.

You took one last burning look at his features and, without saying a word, turned around towards your car. How ironic, a week ago you left each other in roughly the same sequence of activities - studio, cider, parking lot, but under completely different circumstances.

Slamming the door shut, you sharply revved, not bothering to warm up the engine, and drove out of the parking lot with a clang of tires. Burning tears of resentment gushed from your eyes, covering the already foggy road in front, but you didn't pay attention.

Your cooperation has just begun, and you have already swept on an emotional swing. Only in the morning you were driving in a car towards the sun and rejoicing at the warm words of your dad, and in the evening you return home, wiping the salty paths with the back of your hand from your face.

You were never embarrassed by tears, you cried out almost all of them during a divorce, but if they dripped from your eyes today, then there was a reason for that. Your parents taught you that after rain there is always a rainbow, after tears there is always peace of mind, you need to be able to live through any emotions in order to turn them into your power later.

***

You haven't seen the boys since that evening until today's early departure for Bristol. Of course, you communicated on all sorts of organizational issues during this time and there was no visible tension, especially since they didn't hear about your quarrel with Alex. You were more than sure that he would not tell his friends about that incident. This is what infringes on him, and therefore makes him weaker, which he couldn't allow.

All these days you have wondered what was the reason for such a sharp behavior, however you couldn't really delve into yourself. Why exactly you were crying - from resentment, overstrain or just an emotional outburst, it was also difficult to understand. Perhaps all together. Over the past month, from your first conversation with Ford to recent events, your life has changed 180 degrees, so it's no surprise that your psyche gave a little glitch.

You've comforted yourself with routines though — setting Grapes up with a friend until your next visit to London, inviting your parents over for dinner to tell you all the details, packing your suitcase for the tour, checking out all the technical stuff, and almost forgetting what kind of adventure you're packing for.

And now, without any idea of the nearest future, you were sitting in a black Mercedes Sprinter between Marcus and James Kerr, Ben was in the passenger seat in front, Steven was riding with the group in the bus. It was only 8 am, you were sleepy, only at the last moment you didn’t forget to remove eye patches before going out, you didn’t even put on makeup, so you sat in the wide sunglasses, even though the sun wasn't visible through the tinted windows of the car.

It seemed that everyone was relaxed, easily communicated with each other and knew exactly what each would do upon arrival at the venue. Unlike you. The schedule was pretty clear - check-in at the hotel, lunch, departure for the soundcheck and then free time for the management and the band, but very busy time for the technicians. Of all this, the most sensible thing was to drink plenty of wine at dinner and walk around the rest of the day in a relaxed state of mind, but those were only pitiful thoughts of creeping fear. Deep inside you were sure that everything would be fine, it couldn’t be otherwise, because even if you didn’t know how to do this or that task, the guys knew their duties, and they physically couldn’t play the concert badly.

"Hey, Y/N, you kinda took working with us too seriously" Marcus snapped you out of your thoughts with his mocking tone.

"I'm sorry, what?" you asked, turning to him.

He touched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and chuckled. It took you another couple of seconds to figure out what he meant, so he took advantage of your confusion to explain "you now going to wear glasses in the dark as well?"

The reference to Alex was read transparently, so you imperceptibly flinched and pointedly removed them, as if not wanting to be associated with him at all.

"No, no, I just didn't have time to do my make up" you honestly admitted, shrugging your shoulders ingenuously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, we-" the guy looked around at all the passengers, "we don't understand this here"

You laughed slightly, at the same time relaxing, and asked him a question that had been of interest to you for a long time.

"Why don't you have women in the team? I mean at all"

Instead of Marcus, Ben decided to answer from the front seat, apparently as the eldest among you.

“It didn’t happen on purpose, but later it became kind of unspoken rule. We are here like on the fishing, you know? We leave our wives, spend time within our male company, it’s like an alternative branch of your life, you do quality work here, you feel needed, while no one owe you nothing and you feel absolutely free in your actions, understanding thoroughly those who are around you"

"Are you aware that this is how a normal team should work, regardless of gender? It sounds somehow sexist. Am I really embarrassing you in actions?" you smiled slyly, anticipating the denouement.

"Actually, besides you, we have 3 other women in the team.." Marcus embarrassingly chipped in.

"Guys, don't bother yourself with excuses, I knew who I was messing with" you laughed, crossing your legs. Marcus looked at you dumbfounded, but said nothing, and James just chuckled softly at the window.

"Well, if you knew that, then you also should know about our tradition, right, guys?" Ben began in a conspiratorial tone, exchanging glances with the guys.

"Um, about what?" you arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

"The newbie is signed up for the after-party. Tonight is your first concert, and after that we go to the bar, the drinks are off you! We're equal here" Ben imperturbably continued to scan your reaction with a fox-eye, waiting for an answer. It's not that you're greedy or unable to pay, but to buy drinks for the whole team...

And as if ahead of your question, the man added "enough management and the band".

As if it changed the essence. But you couldn't refuse, so you mumbled something affirmative, getting a roar of male hoarse laughter in response, and starting to laugh at yourself. You appreciated in people, especially males, this ability - to make a woman laugh. In a time of constant change and stress, finding someone who will make you forget about it was very important.

The rest of the road was spent in the same good mood, and these conversations did help you to forget about your anxiety due to upcoming events. Upon arrival, all the management team and the band settled in the hotel. As James promise, you've been given a private suite overlooking the most beautiful park in the city center. But due to an unknown coincidence, you lived not on the same floor with the attendants, but through the door from the group.

Matt carried your things to your room and you agreed to meet for lunch in 20 minutes.

Since you were able to miraculously did a make up even in the car, thanks to the sensitive driving, now you decided to change into more presentable clothes in which you will be at the concert.

Without changing the habit of choosing clothes carefully and for a long time, you took off your hot sweatshirt, remaining in only sweatpants and starting to go through the whole suitcase in search of those things that would match your mood. You had a couple of looks planned, but today's unexpectedly warm weather changed your plans a little, so you confidently took out a black leather skirt and a white blouse.

A piece of matter fit all your forms perfectly, so you were satisfied with the choice, spinning in front of the mirror by the bed. The black bodice harmonized perfectly with the skirt, and the crazy idea of staying only in it, without putting on anything, flashed through your head like a bullet, but flew out just as quickly as soon as you heard the muffled thud of heels on the carpet outside the door and a muttered "Jamie?" at your door followed by a knock. You hysterically shouted "No!" exactly at the moment when the door opened without a click.

"Shit, Y/N!" Alex, not having time to properly enter your room, but having clearly noticed you in a compromising way, abruptly recoiled, remaining in the corridor, but not completely closing the door so that he could hear you, but not see.

"God! What a mess" you pleaded, rushing to the door. You stuck out only your head, meeting the eyes of the musician, who was discomposedly staring at you point-blank.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Why are you naked?"

You asked at the same time, shouting over each other.

"This is my room! And I'm not naked!"

"Where's Jamie? I thought he was at 312" Turner asked, a little bewildered, clearly embarrassed.

"I have no idea where Jamie is. How did you even get in?" you were still half-dressed, hiding most of your body behind a wooden door.

"I knocked, but it turned out that it was not slammed at all"

"What the fuck? Maybe Matt didn't close when he left," you muttered more to yourself. You clearly saw the question “What did Matt do here?” that arose in Alex’s head, but which he never voiced. Clearly realizing that the dialogue could not be continued in this form, you abruptly switched the subject, trying to tear his eyes from your neck.

"I was changing for dinner anyway, so see you there" you sharply slammed the door in front of him, not wanting to go into details, and tiredly leaned your head against the wooden surface from the inside.

"Crazy" you heard quiet along with receding soft steps.

It was your only meaningful conversation with the singer, since that evening. You understood that it couldn’t go on like this for a long time, but at the moment you didn’t have any ideas how to fix the situation. So you just finally put on the look you chose, after checking that the door was locked, then decided to add a black headband, and being satisfied with your appearance, went downstairs.

After lunch, the whole team went to the stadium, where the technicians had already set up half of the equipment. The guys immediately went to the sound check, and you and Steven went to meet Ashton Gate management. It seemed like there was still plenty of time before the concert, and you thought you would have a few more chances to double-check everything, but in the turmoil that was going on behind the scenes, this turned out to be impossible.

To be honest, you were overwhelmed by what was happening. The soft music, people around, the sun rays moving towards the sunset - this whole scene that was unfolding before you as you unexpectedly stepped onto the empty stage a few minutes before the crowd was let into the stadium looked surreal and incredibly familiar, as if you had been here many times before. The noise and chaos behind you contrasted with the tranquility in front of your eyes. The empty space that was about to be filled with a crowd in just a few minutes brought both excitement and serenity. These were the moments that seemed unreal, but made life worth living.

***

The show was about to start, and you stood next to the dark staircase, where the guys from the dressing room were soon to come up. Leaning on the railing, you nervously twirled a lock of hair around your finger. You went through all the items on the checklist in your head, checking off each one mentally, but something still bothered you.

Alex.

Your unfinished conversations and evasive behavior were weighing on you. You felt guilty, knowing that as his manager, you had behaved tactlessly, driven by emotions. It ate at you from the inside. You decided that you would talk to him today, apologize and put this issue to rest once and for all.

Suddenly you noticed a flickering light from the security, which meant that the group is entering the stage, and you turned sharply, both wanting and fearing to see them. As always, looking luxurious, these four men made their way up to the platform, remaining unnoticed by the audience.

"Good luck, guys! I'm buzzing as hell honestly" you tried to sound confident, but your voice trembled on the last word.

"Miss Y/S, is it just me or are you worried about us?" Nick lightly touched your shoulder in a reassuring gesture.

"Well, it's my first time with you" realizing how ambiguous that sounded, you interrupted yourself with a laugh.

"Oh, you'll love it, babe" Matt mimicked a voice from a cheap adult movie, tossing a stick in the air. It seemed like he could find the right words in any situation, and in the future, you would highly appreciate this skill.

All this time, you were glancing at Alex out of the corner of your eye, trying to read his emotions, but he calmly adjusted the folds on his unchanging dark blue jacket and stretched his neck with turns left and right. Seeing that the guys had moved a little away from you, you looked at your watch, estimating that you had 5 minutes maximum, and whispered to yourself "now or never".

"Alex!" you called him out loudly, trying to outshout the crowd "I wanted to talk, I know it's not the most appropriate time, but-"

"Y/N, forgive me, okay," the man unexpectedly began, barely approaching you. For the first time, you saw genuine excitement in his eyes, here, in the darkness of the backstage area of a 30,000-seat stadium. For some reason, only now you clearly feel the difference in height between you two. He looked down at you patronizingly. Maybe it was because of his heels or the knot of nerves in your stomach that made you feel so small in your attempt to hide from his penetrating gaze.

"I've been a complete jerk and acted childish from the very beginning. You didn't do anything to deserve such treatment. I don't want our tension to affect the group and our work in any way, so I admit my guilt"

You stood in shock, slightly opening your mouth. You absolutely did not expect such a turn of events, so your entire improvised speech evaporated from your mind instantly. He suddenly smiled softly, raising an eyebrow, as if asking 'well, what now?' Still not believing what you heard, you nodded your head almost automatically.

"Y-yes, you were a jerk indeed. But I also didn't behave entirely correctly, my first impression wasn't great either," you sighed in frustration, recalling your memories, "I suggest we start over, huh? Hi, my name is Y/N, I'm your new tour manager, nice to meet you" and to confirm your words, you gracefully extended your hand to him.

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Alex Turner, sort of singing here," he shook your hand with an energetic movement. His palm was dry and steady, causing a pleasant warmth throughout your body, "just business then?"

"Just business indeed. And a little bit of music" you said, more relaxed, smiling with all 32 teeth, still holding onto his hand.

"Deal, Miss Y/S"

For a moment, the roar of fans faded away for you, and you only saw the outlines of his pupils in the semi-darkness and his fingers firmly holding yours. However, your fragile moment was promptly ruined by-

"Al, c'mon!" Jamie impatiently called, and your hand felt the gusts of wind instead of calloused skin of the frontman. You watched him walk away in his waddle manner, as he suddenly turned and shouted, winking "By the way, nice lace".

It took you a couple of seconds to understand what was said, and when the meaning of his words reached you, you exclaimed in indignation "You, motherfucker!" almost stomping your foot, but your cry was lost in the wild roar of the crowd, as the guys were already on stage.

It was a miraculous sight. Four men made people go into ecstasy just with their appearance - this is the phenomenon of the Beatles, and they were proof that rock and roll is alive. As long as they are alive. Every strum on the guitar strings, every touch of the lips to the microphone, every drumstick strike, every hair flip was special in their performance, they themselves were special.

You were fascinated, to say the least. When the performance came to the last song before the encore, Body Paint, one of your favorite songs from the album, that was definitely made to be played live, you were out of words. The whole song built you up to the climax, to the outro that every time was a pure jamming and improvisation. And you literally exploded in ecstasy when Alex started walking around the stage, unable to stand still from the knocking down energy. He closed his eyes in languor, biting his lips, screaming, throwing out his arms, and you couldn't take your eyes off. You weren't dancing or jumping, you were inseparably watching his every movement, arms folded across your chest. Your mouth was agape against your will, and your eyes eagerly punched a hole in the frontman. This is a unique performance, it's something that is hard to explain without feeling it for yourself. You were made up of his music, you literally felt these waves inside your veins, your brain wasn't able to comprehend what was happening, it was like a catharsis for all of you. And you definitely didn't want to be saved.

Suddenly Alex turned his head to your side, continuing to play some divine riff outlining the Van Gogh fields on the guitar strings. His hair was tousled, shirt unbuttoned, but his jacket fitted perfectly. He rested his eyes on your figure, smiling with one corner of his lips, and you looked at each other for good seven seconds which felt like eternity. You were sure that everything was clear in your eyes, and even if he stood next to you and heard you, you wouldn't be able to utter a word.

What you definitely didn't expect when your eye contact was broken and Alex walked to another side of the stage, that tears would involuntarily flow from your eyes. "What the hell..." you wondered aloud, quickly removing the salty tracks from your cheeks. In fact, you perfectly understood why you were crying. From a sense of greatness. The greatness of music, human synergy and the power of unity. It was too much for you, too strong emotions to bear. It was excellent, it was the taste of life, thanks to which you still were here. "God, if you exist, bless this band, they are saints" although it sounded ridiculous and naive, you seriously were ready to pray for the talent of these guys, for the ability to make other people feel alive. You were in your place, you did everything right, you were cruising the victory. Today he convinced you.

As soon as the last chords of "RU Mine?" were played and the bows to the fans were taken, the men disappeared from the deafening roar behind the dark curtains of backstage. Their hair stuck to their sweat faces, and a distinct masculine smell was coming from their shirts. The guys passed by you with exhausted smiles, unable to utter a word from fatigue, and disappeared into the darkness of the corridors.

You didn't know what to do right now. According to your understanding, your job didn't end with pre-concert organization, there were also post-concert tasks to be done. But you were so lost in emotions that you felt like you were drifting away from an anaphylactic shock.

Unexpectedly, Tyler came to you as he was the last one to come off the stage. He fraternally put a hand on your shoulder, tousling your hair with his heavy palm.

"Well, with the initiation into our hell, sweetheart. How're you?"

"Thrilled, and I want more!" you declared confidently, matching his quick pace that was pulling you further away from the frenzy of the crowd.

"Well, don't doubt that, it's just the beginning" he charmingly smiled, and you couldn't help but mirror his expression.

"Now we're going to celebrate, and you're coming with us" it sounded so authoritative that even if you wanted to object, you immediately closed your mouth, nodding in agreement. "Besides, seems like you need to unwind" you remembered.

You left the stadium only an hour later, apparently, it was a normal time for the guys to "recover". You'd made several jokes about one woman waiting for seven men and received offended and teasing looks in return. You got into the same Mercedes you arrived in that morning, and the driver took you to one of Bristol's typical English pubs that the guys loved so much.

You didn't understand their fondness for these quaint places where the sofa upholstery hadn't changed along with the owner. There were so many modern bars in the city, any of which the band could afford to rent entirely, but they paid tribute to traditions, obviously cherishing memories of their lively youth when they started playing their first concerts in similar places. Such a return to their roots after the thousands-capacity stadiums grounded them well. And the warm nostalgia, slipping across the Guinness glasses every time, was a corner of genuine joy for the guys, the only true luxury they possessed.

And overall, you didn't care where to spend money or on what. After all today's events, which felt like a whole month, you didn't mind anymore. In the morning, you looked at your apple orchard in the early mist of suburban London, then stood half-naked in a five-star hotel room in front of a world-renowned music star, and now, in the evening, you huddled next to him on an old leather couch under a red velvet chandelier, drinking a B-52.

Glasses, shots and colorful bottles flashed in front of your eyes like a kaleidoscope. Your head was spinning from the amount of alcohol, and your cheeks hurt from laughter.

"My dear mates, I propose a toast to Miss Y/S and her first concert with us! I don't know if she understands where she has ended up, but we'll make sure she has a great time with us, right, guys? To Y/N!" Matt solemnly proclaimed, rising from the table, and 8 hands, pouring drinks onto each other, reached towards the center of the table to clink glasses.

"Guys, thank you for this opportunity, thanks to James for his unplanned vacation, thanks to Steven and Marcus-" although the latter wasn't here, you decided to thank him as he had been providing you with all kinds of help during these weeks, "for their support and adaptation, and of course, to you Monkeys, for accepting me. I do like your crazy Monkey house" you joked, but it didn't negate the truth. Despite all the past disagreements with the lead singer, you felt that you were still doing everything right. And even if you hadn't gone on this adventure today, you would still feel grateful to fate for such an opportunity to be at the center of life.

"Glad to hear that," Jamie chuckled ironically, "as they say, welcome aboard"

And with these words, you all whistled, and Tom even shouted like a saloon girl from the Wild West. Your evening, or rather the night, continued until 3 am, fortunately there was no concert the next day, so you could at least sleep in a bit. You looked in horror at the amount you had drunk, trying to estimate how long it would take to recover the contents of your wallet. But you had consumed so much gin and tonic that the only thing that really worried you was how to walk straight for at least 2 meters to the bar to pay for it all.

"Drinks on me!" you declared with a mischievous smile to the group as you headed towards the bar counter.

"What, for everyone?" Matt playfully refined.

"Well, yeah," you didn't have the energy to realize his surprise, but he also didn't have the energy to argue with you, "that's no problem".

And thus, the following events spun in your head like a foggy whirlpool. Here you were finally breathing in the fresh air of the street, tilting your head towards the purple sky, then you were half-lying on someone's shoulder in the black minivan, and finally for no reason you were walking barefoot on a soft hotel carpet, but there were no shoes in your hands as well.

You didn't have any memories of walking into your room either. But in the moment, the feeling of soft snow-white hotel sheets flooded your body with long-awaited bliss. You instantly fell into the arms of Morpheus, only on the verge of consciousness noticing that someone took off the headband from your hair, which had been squeezing your head tightly, and silently closed the door.

You may be too drunk to remember each of your actions clearly, but you definitely wouldn't mistake the familiar scent of cigarettes in the room.

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: Oh, so much has happened in one chapter, and this is just the beginning of the tour... I decided to tell the background of Y/N for a better understanding of her actions. What do you think, maybe you want more of "Italian friends" in the work? Whose line do you want to read in more detail? Share your emotions, it is incredibly valuable to me that someone reads this work actually!

xo🤍

Taglist: @missbabyjay @rentskenobi @findmeincorneliastreet @indierockgirrl here it is!

*if you want to be removed or added to the taglist, feel free to ask me!

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tempobrucera · 2 years

Text

Token of Love

Pairing: Thomas x Reader x Vic x Ethan Wordcount: 12.5k Description: For some reason you think it’s a good idea to gift a box of love tokens to your partners. Maybe it ensues more chaos (and sex) than you would have thought. Warning(s): Fluff, some (playful and not so) fighting, smut (foursome, no panties, public, orgasm denial, D/s dynamics, safeword use)

Add yourself to my taglist. / Masterlist .#####. Thomas hugs you close from behind, his arms securely around you. It’s early, the sun has barely risen and you can feel tiredness still washing over you.

“How come you’re already awake?” You ask and strain yourself to put a kiss on his lips. “Before everyone else? Are you okay or did you have a nightmare again?”

“I’m okay,” he is pressing kisses to your shoulder, “No nightmare this time. I wanted to get up so I could make breakfast.”

“You? Offering to make breakfast? In the morning? Are you sure you are okay? Or is … Oh.”

Oh. It’s Valentine's. Which explains why Thomas is up too early for his own good.

“I thought the other two wouldn’t complain about food … but it could still be … romantic.”

The other two, Vic and Ethan, are laying next to you in Thomas’ bed. Which was one of his only requirements when he looked for a place for himself, a bedroom to put a bed big enough for all of you in there and a roof terrace. Ethan is hugging his pillow and Vic is snoring at his side.

“You’re cute, Thom.”

“Well, knowing all of you, I’m the only one who thought about it,” he says but he still has a smile on his face.

“Maybe.”

You’re smiling as well and yawn before you fall asleep again. Only rummaging around you, is waking you up again. Victoria bickering, Ethan laughing. The clattering of plates against each other, liquid filled into glasses. Thomas’ lips on your forehead.

“Breakfast is ready!”

The bed turned into a minefield to get up, it’s hard not to put your hand somewhere or into something, Ethan has the courtesy to help you while Vic laughs at Thomas’ shoulder and Thomas beams at you. For Thomas’ standards the food looks good, there’s some fruit, some scrambled eggs that only look a little bit off, some absolutely burnt sad looking toast, some pancakes that are only burnt at the edges, some sausages, some cheese and there’s a little heart shaped box of chocolates on everyone’s plate, next to a flower.

“Thank you, caro.” You give him a kiss on the cheek. Vic just rolls her eyes, it’s just another day and Thomas is trying to make everything as special as possible all the time but all of you three know that this day is still important to him.

Vic and you both know better, but you still try the toast and the scrambled eggs while Ethan sticks to the least burnt pancake and carefully bites into a sausage. The toast isn’t palatable, and it’s hard to swallow, while the eggs are mushy, salty and something else. It’s a taste experience you wish you wouldn’t have had, you’re sure Vic’s face mirrors yours. Thomas is still smiling, so is Ethan who seems to have made the better decision.

“Please tell me, you also have something to drink for us?” Vic looks at him, grimacing.

“Oh, I forgot, yes. What do you want? Tea, milk, hot chocolate, juice, tomato smoothie, water, champagne?”

Vic and you both flinch at the mention of a tomato smoothie: “Something which makes me forget that I just ate this out of love for you. So maybe give me the champagne, the bottle should do.”

“That was horrible,” Vic says after Thomas skipped out of the room to get drinks. “Please tell me this is edible.”

“It’s not too bad, a bit burnt, a bit sugary, there’s some kind of vanilla in there?” Ethan looks at his plate. “And some … orange juice, I believe? You can eat it though, maybe it would be actually nice without the burnt bits and much less sugar. And the sausages taste like sausages.”

“You already had me at it’s not too bad,” you say, “This was not good for my stomach.”

Thomas is coming back with the bottle of champagne, something that looks suspiciously like the tomato smoothie and something you hope will be juice, normal juice. Vic and you both put the rest of your food on Thomas’ plate, shaking your heads. He pouts but when he looks at the plate he carefully scraps the scrambled eggs to the side.

“I actually have something as well.” You get yourself out of bed and shudder, it was warm and cozy next to the others in bed and you’re just in your panties and one of Thomas’ shirts. You get the box from your bag and put it down between them.

Thomas, looks at the box first. It’s in the shape of a heart, you handpainted it with some flowers and little things that remind you of each of them. Then he looks at you wide eyed, excited. Ethan and Victoria are sighing, annoyed. You even catch Victoria how she rolls her eyes at Ethan, who tries not to laugh but he fails when Thomas is squealing.

“God, this will break him.”

“Thank you!” “You don’t even know what it is yet.” Victoria reminds him.

“And? At least I’m saying thank you,” Thomas says, “Are you gonna say thank you for the breakfast I served you in bed?”

“You want me to say thank you for burnt toa-” You whack Vic over the head and he beams at you. “Thank you, Thomas.”

“Can I open it?”

Thomas opens the box carefully, almost as if he doesn’t want to break it or afraid he will have paint stick to himself again. Like the last time when you painted and he touched it before it was dry.

“Oh no, that’s a never ending box of bullsh-” Vic says when she sees the little envelopes in the box. This time it’s Thomas who whacks her over the head.

“Hey, you can’t read them yet, that’s not how it works.” You lightly slap Thomas’ hand when he greedily wants to open one of the envelopes. “I thought one of you could pick one out of the box every few days?”

“God bless tour life,” Victoria mumbles.

“Maybe we could take some and take them on tour with us?” Thomas looks at you, pleading eyes. “Use them when we want to? And the rest we can pick when we are here?”

“Okay,” you sigh - you can’t say no to the pouting, “I’ll give each of you three for tour, but I’ll give them to you.”

“That sounds great and then we c-”

Victoria interrupts him mid-sentence, slapping his ass. A small yelp comes from Thomas’ lips but nothing else.

“You can talk somewhere else now, caro, like here.” Ethan and you laugh, but Thomas obediently crawls between Vic’s spread legs, his head disappearing under her nightgown. “That’s better.”

Ethan sits behind you, wrapping his arms around you, kissing your shoulders, your neck. There’s no urge for him to do anything else, just leaving soft kisses all over your skin. Meanwhile you can hear Victoria moan, the wet noises Thomas’ tongue makes. Little whimpers coming from him and Vic getting louder. You know Vic is giving him exactly what he needs, she always does. While you often give him everything he wants - and more. You couldn’t just interrupt him in the middle of a sentence, you love him talking, hanging on every word coming from his lips. But he needs it. And Ethan somehow always finds a balance. There’s one more loud moan from Vic and then she lets him go. He looks a bit like a deer in headlights when he’s rolling himself together in your lap not even a minute later, you can see that he’s hard. Ethan is still kissing your neck when you card your fingers through Thomas’ hair.

“Sleepy.”

“I know, babe, I know.” You press a kiss to Thomas’ forehead, he blinks at you when you put him into Ethan’s arms. “Vic and I are gonna clean up and do the dishes, you can sleep.”

“Your boyfriend has the most talented tongue, almost makes up for that box of horror.” Vic says when you’re both in the kitchen, she is sitting on the counter while you're discarding the scrambled eggs into the bin. “I’m glad that you’re sharing him, and I know Ethan is really grateful for that as well.”

“It’s not like I’m not getting anything out of this,” you smile at her and kiss her. It’s tame but not unpleasant. “And I love seeing Thom with both of you. It’s what he wants, it makes him happy and I am glad that he’s sharing this with me.”

“Do I have to participate in this?” Vic changes the topic.

“There’s not only romantic stuff in there, also some other things.”

“Please say dirty stuff,” Vic is crossing her fingers, “please say dirty stuff.”

“If you make the fill out the blank cards dirty then maybe.”

“Oh god, he will be even more insufferable.”

“These tokens are Thomas' proof. I’m planning on taking them out before it’s his turn.”

Victoria grins at you: “So even you have your limits?”

Your answer is just a sigh when Thomas comes barging in, looks at you without saying a word, grabs a bottle of water and then vanishes again without looking back. It’s bizarre, he’s behaving weirdly. Victoria doesn’t notice, or she decides not to mention it when you clean up. Back in the bedroom Ethan and Thomas are cuddled up together. Ethan spooning him from behind, his arms around his waist. If you wouldn’t know him as well as you do, you wouldn’t notice but you can hear the soft purr, the tiny little whimpers, coming from Thomas. With one hand he’s twisting one of Thomas’ nipples, the other one sprawling out over his stomach, just over where he’s still bulging his briefs. You know it’s not what he wants, but Ethan knows it’s what he needs. Thomas’ little noises speak for themselves.

.#####.

“Can we open one before tour starts?” Thomas asks one evening, and you can’t do anything about it, he smiles at you sweetly, and you can just give in. Before he can take the box from you, Vic already took it out of your hand.

“Ladies first,” she says and grins at a confused Thomas. Takes an envelope, looks at it and then at you, “This isn’t too bad. Create your own Cocktails.”

“Sounds like fun,” Ethan says. You can see Thomas taking the little envelope of Vic and pocketing it. “We could make it a challenge and only use things we already have here.”

In the evening you’re all in the kitchen, looking at different bottles of alcohol, other bottles, fruit, some random boba pearls in too many flavours Thomas has stacked away in his cabinets, juices and mixers, edible glitter you used for baking a while ago, some random stuff Thomas puts out with a shrug. It’s fun, seeing what everyone else is doing, trying random stuff for yourself, Ethan and you both drawn to the boba pearls, and everyone laughing at Thomas and the monstrous thing he creates.

By the end of the evening, you have four cocktails. Some are more enjoyable than others but no one is saying it. There’s Ethan’s coffee cocktail - you laughed earlier when he was brewing coffee, cooling it down, trying to find the perfect mix of coffee and Kahlua and finishing it off with some tapioca boba and milk. You saw him sniffing the milk that came out of Thomas’ fridge longer than is normal, Thomas looking at him offended in return. It tastes nice, but Vic announces it is nothing special. There’s your own cocktail, it shimmers and it’s way too sweet, especially for Thomas who’s wrinkling his nose. It’s prosecco, jasmine tea, rose syrup, too much glitter - your hand slipped for a second, lychee bubbles and strawberry boba that’s shaped into little hearts. Ethan seems to enjoy it more than the other two but Thomas’ finger poking you is getting you out of your thoughts. He delicately has one of the strawberry hearts between his teeth and you’re happily kissing the sweetness off his lips, taking the heart off him with your tongue.

Then there’s Thomas’ cocktail that looks intimidating to everyone, even to Thomas himself. No one wants to take the first sip until you show mercy. You don’t know how Thomas always does it but the texture has you shuddering. If you would take another sip, you are sure you would go off the walls or won’t sleep. It’s the mix of the coffee he stole of Ethan, the vanilla coke and the chocolate liqueur. There’s something alcoholic you can’t place and a slight hint of banana as an aftertaste, you shudder again. And there’s the misplaced popcorn, that should have gone on Ethan’s cocktail you think, on top of the drink. When you try to pass it on to Ethan, he shakes his head but Vic is brave enough once again.

“This is disgusting.”

“I have done worse,” Thomas smiles at her. Nipping at his straw and slurping his cocktail, all three of you watching on in disbelief.

And then there’s Vic’s. Which just is tequila, some ice, Corona and topped off with a lime.

“I won,” Victoria says. Ethan scoffs at her. “Simple, but at least you can drink it.”

“I didn’t know this was a competition,” Thomas says.

“It’s not like you would have won against me, if I would have told you about it beforehand.”

.#####.

Tour starts again, somehow comes earlier than it felt like a few days ago, and you’re back home alone, once again. They all received their tokens from you before leaving, Thomas kissing you goodbye and Vic mumbling something that sounded like And here I was hoping you forgot about it. First you just wanted to give them at random but too many tokens you would like to be part of crossed your way, which is why you selected tokens for each of them.

It doesn’t take long, a few days, and Ethan is posting a photo of a token in your group chat - One uninterrupted afternoon nap, whatever happens.

I am cashing this in, I’m tired!!!! Don’t annoy me.

Later Ethan is sending you a photo from bed. He has a cup of tea and the book he packed to read on tour.

Thanks for giving me a break from the chaos these two are causing!

A few hours later, Vic is sending you a photo. It shows Ethan snoozing, sleep mask over his eyes, but there’s also Thomas next to him, rolled up as small as possible in Ethan’s arms. Slumbering blissfully as well.

.#####.

“Thomas,” Ethan sighs, “you really have to clean this. I can’t clean up after you in every hotel we step foot in.”

He looks up from his phone, isn’t saying anything but then wanders over to his suitcase and puts a tiny envelope into Ethan’s hands.

“Any household chore done for you,” Ethan reads and he sighs. Thomas picking the little envelope out of his hand again. “You want me to clean here and pack your suitcase, don’t you?”

He still isn’t speaking, smoking at the window, but nodding his head. It doesn’t take Ethan too long, Thomas is chaotic and it looks shit but most of it just needs folding and some things have to make acquaintance with the bin but nothing worse than that.

“Are you okay?”

Thomas just mumbles a Thank you against Ethan’s shoulder when he hugs him and Ethan leaves it at that.

.#####.

Vic puts a token into the chat on a concert free day.

One day of no complaints or reminders.

Ethan and Thomas both text you, upset and displeased. It’s quite comical to witness and a reason why you handed it to them. Funnier when you aren’t involved in this one.

Boys, it’s just for a day! You can make it!

By the end of the day, you yourself aren’t sure if you will make it through the whole day. Instead of complaining to Vic, the boys complain to you. A lot, and you understand. Vic is using her power with them not being allowed to talk back or complain about her demands. Ethan loses it when she asks him for a foot massage, he isn’t doing it, Thomas doesn’t mind and takes over. But he loses it a few hours later when she demands to deal with some stuff for her, and to listen to her for the evening when they’re going out.

“Can you believe that?” Thomas snorts over the phone. “She called me a kitty and told me to behave in that sweet voice, all while she was scratching me behind my ears.”

You have to cackle, you’re sure he purred, but Thomas groans - he doesn’t sound happy.

“What was the problem, Thom?”

“She did it in front of Damiano and Ethan…. In a car with someone driving who I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry,” you sigh, “That wasn’t okay of her. The day is over soon, Tho and tomorrow you can tell her to piss off.”

“I don’t want to go out now,” he admits. Something else is behind this statement, at least you have the feeling but he isn’t saying more.

After you hang up, you call Vic.

“I know, no complaining,” you start and once again you sigh, “but … You’re taking it a bit far, don’t you?”

“But it’s so fun to see them suffer,” she laughs.

“Fair enough. But could you … could you not do that with Thomas again without asking him first. Or not in front of people, that’s his limit and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t cross that.”

“Yes, okay, sure.” Victoria’s voice is small. “He looked fine, he could have told me.”

“Vic, we both know when he isn’t allowed to do something, he won’t if he can avoid it and …,” you smile, “You know his brain stops working when you’re scratching behind his ears.”

“I don’t want to make him uncomfortable with it,” Vic admits. “I know he likes it when it’s only us, I won’t do it again in front of people. I … I somehow never think about Thomas’ limits, I need to change that, I know but he also never talks about it, I know that isn’t making it better, I should know better. You don’t have to tell me, I know that’s bad, actually it’s horrible, thanks for calling me out on it.”

Vic apologised to me

It’s what Thomas texts you a while later and you finally feel like you can go to bed without everyone ending up in a fight.

.#####.

The next morning there’s another picture in the chat, it came from Ethan. It’s the blank token you gave him.

I would like Thomas to tell me why he’s upset lately

You would like to know as well, you feel relieved that you aren’t the only one thinking something is off with him.

Nothings wrong

It’s only two words but it’s two words and you know he’s lying. He only picks the phone up after you try to call a third time, he rejects the video.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Can you turn on your camera? I just want to talk, we can talk about something else if you want to.”

He looks dishevelled and tired. A bit too tired, even for Thomas’ standards.

“Did you sleep well?”

He shakes his head: “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Did you sleep the night before?” You’re worried about him.

Again he shakes his head, he doesn’t look at you.

“Thom?”

“I can’t sleep,” he bites his lips, “I don’t want to sleep alone, it sucks.”

“Honey.” You know Ethan and Vic would be there but you also know they wouldn’t just climb into Thomas’ bed. It’s the first tour after you figured things out between the four of you, after Thomas admitted that him staring at Ethan and having thoughts beyond friendship and the one time he dreamt of Vic holding him down might deserve an honest conversation. They are part of it when you want but he’s yours, they respect that. It must be tough for Thomas, he struggles. And it must be even harder having them with him and still staring at the ceiling not having anyone next to him. “You can tell them, you don’t have to sleep alone.”

During the evening Ethan asks you, if you’re okay with them sleeping in Thomas’ bed, without you. You are, there’s nothing you could have against it when it makes him feel better. There’s just one rule you set, no sex with Thomas in any way, you don’t care what Vic and Ethan do with each other. Ethan asks if he can cuddle. You imagine that he laughs when he reads your I am not a fucking monster. Just no sex, not with Thomas on top or as a bottom, especially not the second. It makes you squeezy, you are open to renegotiate at a later time but now you don’t feel comfortable. But cuddling, he can have all the cuddles he wants to have.

Victoria and Ethan both end up in Thomas’ bed. They are watching a film, while you’re out for wine with a friend. Ethan sends you a pic of Thomas sleeping in Vic’s arms after midnight and your heart is a little bit lighter again.

.#####.

The Italian leg of the tour comes around faster than you thought. Thomas catches you when you jump into his arms. You took the time to go to two concerts, there’s nothing better than to see them live. To see Thomas doing what he loves, what brings him joy and how it puts that huge grin on his face. There’s nothing better.

“It’s time to redeem this token,” Vic says after the show in Milan, “Night at your favourite nightclub, maybe this box isn’t a box of horrors after all.”

You’re all getting ready in Vic’s hotel room, Vic having fun doing Thomas’ and your make up, she puts glitter eyeshadow on Thomas’ eyelids and you might love her a little bit more for it. Ethan already opened a bottle of prosecco while Victoria tells you which club she wants to go to, she puts some pink-coral-toned red lipstick on Thomas’ lips.

“Are you for real?” He furrows his brows at her. “That’s the best club you can choose?”

“My token,” she grins at him, “my choice.”

Ethan and you roll your eyes while they bicker like a couple that has been together for the past twenty years, married, divorced and remarried again. They are still having a go when you reach the club almost an hour later. You take Ethan on the dancefloor with you.

“A day without them having a quarrel with each other,” Ethan laughs - putting his hands on your waist, “And they would die.”

Thomas turns up behind you, kissing your neck: “That’s not the best club,” he grumbles into your ear.

“You can still have fun and now you’re dancing with me, doesn’t matter where that is,” Vic is squeezing herself between Ethan and you, “Usually you don’t care, you can always have fun.”

Ethan sighs and gets something out of his jeans pocket, you can see it’s a token and you have to laugh. You know what he’s going about to do.

“You leave me no other choice,” he clears his throat and reads: “You win the argument. Wanted to keep this to for one of your fights but it’s enough, I win the argument, clubs are shit, no matter what. And now behave and have fun.”

You dance the night away, you watch Vic dancing with Thomas, Thomas climbing on a table, Ethan kissing him. He dances with you, the glitter looks adorable on him when he leans down to kiss you. And you only stumble out of the club when they kick you out hours later.

“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” Vic asks.

Thomas kisses her while holding Ethan’s and your hand.

.#####.

Thomas sends you a voice message when you’re back home again.

“We noticed something. Did you take any of the tokens?” You press pause, you’re surprised. You made the tokens, they aren’t for you. “We know you made them, but you should take some as well, just some. It should be fun for you as well and we’re insufferable, I know, but it’s fun, even with all the complaining, really. I don’t think any of us said that yet. And I just want you to have some for yourself. I am gonna give my token to you, you can use it whenever you want. You get some flowers. You can’t say no by the way, it’s yours now.”

He’s the sweetest, you think. And you love flowers, he knows, which makes it even sweeter.

I would love some flowers, Maso!

The next morning there’s a little ivy plant in front of your door. A bouquet of white and rosa flowers with some green eucalyptus twigs strown in. And a lovely bouquet of dried wildflowers. It has a note on them: Love you! I know you like to keep them but the other one was catching my eye as well. Thom

.#####.

You can’t wait for Thomas to come home, for them to come home. It's been two months since Milan and now you are the one who can’t sleep alone. When they are all together in bed with you again, Thomas hugging you close, it’s better again. You missed them.

“I still have this token from tour,” Vic says in the morning - you almost forgot about it, “One day without the others most annoying habit. Finally I can have a day with all of you but Thomas is shutting up.”

Thomas and you are both looking at her, you furrow your brows - Ethan looks at you with a little bit of concern.

“But …”

Vic shakes her head: “No talking, Thomas.”

During the morning it works, you’re in bed, he cuddles up to you, bumps his nose against your skin. He gets his head scratched and scratches behind the ears before he starts purring happily on your stomach and then on Ethan’s chest. He avoids Vic, he looks at her carefully from time to time but if any of you looks at him then, he turns his head back.

“Hey,” you try to get his attention when Vic is leaving to have a shower, “This isn’t a punishment, okay?”

He only shrugs, pretending not to care but you know he does. He watches something on his phone, while Ethan reads a book next to you - glasses low on his nose, and you write in your notebook. The next time you look, Thomas fell asleep.

When you’re all sitting for dinner in a restaurant, Vic is the only one talking. Ethan is too busy studying the menu to care. You’re too distracted looking at every little gesture and facial expressions Thomas shows and when she asks you something directly, you just shrug. Vic snorts, but you can see the tiny smile appearing on Thomas’ face.

“Anyone?” Vic looks at all of you.

Thomas raises his hand and Vic looks at him expectantly but he isn’t saying anything.

“God, please talk. Please!”

He takes his phone from the table and types:

I’m sure you can beg better and a bit longer

Ethan and you have to laugh, so loud that some people look at you.

“Thomas, please. Everything, just talk, god that was a shit idea.”

Everything?

“Everything. Just talk, please.”

“Okay,” he grins, “My turn to talk and you can shut up and I might have another idea.”

He winks. And Ethan and you laugh again.

Later Victoria follows you when you go to the bathroom: “I fucked up again, didn’t I?”

“Not talking out of context is like a punishment for him.” You look at her through the mirror. “He needs context, Vic. And we need to talk, all of us actually, we need some ground rules and limits. I don’t want him to think, he can’t share a bed with you on tour again or Ethan thinking he can’t touch him when I’m not around, and I made this box to have fun.”

“Okay. Ground rules and limits.”

.#####.

Thomas is the next one who draws a token out of the box.

Movie marathon - Your choice of films

“I’m getting the snacks and drinks,” Thomas says and looks at you, “But you can choose the movies.”

In the end, you can’t decide. You’re overthinking it, Thomas tells you to chill, no one will judge you for your choice of films. That’s why you go for your favourite childhood movie, Thomas’ favourite film and after snooping around the favourite films of Ethan and Victoria. By the end of the evening, you’re picking popcorn that Vic threw at him out of Thomas’ hair.

.#####.

“Thomas,” you aren’t annoyed but you’re running around like a headless chicken cleaning around him, “Could you at least vacuum?”

“Hmmm.” He gives you something and you groan, you almost forgot that you gave that to him. “Next time.”

Any household chore done for you.

“It’s our turn to clean up,” Ethan says a few days later after dinner. Vic helped you cook pasta earlier, and the boys will clear the table before you move to the couch for a lazy evening in. “Thomas?”

You furrow your brows when he gives a token to him, Ethan also raises his eyebrows. But Victoria is the one speaking up: “You used that on me three times already.”

“On me as well,” Ethan says.

“And you only gave that to me not even a week ago.”

He looks at you sheepishly and pouts.

“Oh, you’re in trouble,” Ethan comments.

Thomas still smiles, there’s a blush creeping up his throat for being called out but then he turns over another token to you.

Get out of trouble, no questions asked.

.#####.

“What is the token?” Vic asks him. “You went a bit pale.”

Ethan takes it out of Thomas’ hand: “One wild fantasy fulfilled.”

“Thomas' wild fantasy is probably having dinner under the eiffel tower or some shit,” Vic jokes.

You can see how he swallows heavily. And you know it’s nothing like what Vic imagines at this moment.

“No … no panties for you,” he steps closer to you and you just nod, “when we go out.”

“Uhhhh, interesting.” Vic’s eyes light up.

The day comes sooner than you think it would arrive. One morning you’re already dressed when Thomas comes out of the shower, only a towel around his hips, and looks you over. That he puts one of his hands down your tights isn’t too surprising, that he rubs you through your panties until you can feel yourself getting wet isn’t either. But then he’s getting you out of your tights.

“Thom, we don’t have time to fuck.” You’re supposed to meet Vic and Ethan for a shopping trip and a day out, and you’re already running late, thanks to Thomas’ talent for oversleeping.

“Oh, don’t worry, we aren’t fucking.” He frees you from your panties as well. “Open your mouth for me.”

When you woke up a few hours ago you wouldn’t have thought that today is the day where Thomas would use your own panties as a gag on you while he feels you up and then starts fingering you without warning. You grab onto his hair to have some kind of stability but your legs are violently shaking. Just before you cum, he stops, it’s almost a ruined orgasm and you mewl around the panties in your mouth. Sometimes you forget that he can be much more cruel than Ethan and much cruller than Vic expects him to be.

“Don’t think you will need them today.” He takes the panties out of your mouth and kisses you sweetly. You put your tights back on while Thomas rummages through the wardrobe naked and then gets dressed, you try not to stare too obviously. “You ready?”

You aren’t ready at all.

Thomas and Ethan are in the seats in front of the car, while Vic is in the back with you. She’s almost sitting on top of you, letting her fingers wander. Over your knees, up your thighs, Thomas is smiling at you wolfishly through the rearview mirror. And then Vic’s hand is in your tights before you can stop her, there’s no obstacle of more fabric in her way and you whimper.

Vic smiles: “You already got her wet.”

“No touching,” Thomas scolds her, “That goes for both of you and for you.”

Whereas you nod obediently, Vic and Ethan try to question his authority but Vic pulls her hand back and lets the elastic of your tights snap back onto your skin, you yelp.

Shopping always is a blast with them, you almost forget that you aren’t dressed appropriately and about the wetness between your legs. Sometimes, when Thomas puts his hand a bit too low on your hips, you have to swallow. But then Vic puts a silly hat on Thomas’ head and you have to laugh instead.

Somehow Thomas shoves you into a fitting room, all three of you. It’s cramped but before anyone even has the chance to complain about it, Thomas already pushes you against Ethan and both of you against the wall and then he’s on his knees. He deliberately pushes down your tights and he looks at you with big eyes before his head ends up under your skirt. You can’t stop the moan that follows when he starts to lick and Ethan heavily breathing into your ear. Your consciousness tells you that you’re way too loud for such a tiny space but you can’t bring yourself to stop. On the contrary, it feels like you are losing your mind when Thomas licks through your folds and presses his wet lips to your clit now and then. You’re only getting louder - until Ethan puts his hand over your mouth and you can just pant.

There’s someone clearing their throat in front of the fitting room: “Everything okay in here?”

“Yes,” Vic answers happily and to your shock even pulls back the curtain a little bit to pop her head out. Your only comfort is that the curtains are floor-length, so the store assistant can’t see Thomas on his knees, you still blush furiously and gasp into Ethan’s hand when Thomas sloppily presses his tongue deeper. “My friend has a busted arm, I’m just helping her with some tops. I hope that is okay?”

“Sure, please let me know if you need any help.”

As soon as you hear how the footsteps are getting more distant, you cum all over Thomas’ face. You can hear him laugh under your skirt. When he emerges again, he cleans his face, Ethan cleans his hand but when you take the tissues from Ethan, Thomas takes them away from you again. Maybe Thomas looks more fucked then you when you leave the store, he’s dishevelled, lips swollen, and a clear outline in his tight jeans which he partially tries to hide under his coat and partially doesn’t give a fuck about. You’re only ruining your tights and your mind is racing, maybe you don’t look any better.

You’re grateful that the restaurant you go to later isn’t anything fancy. The waiter doesn’t look at any of you twice, just wants your orders, a photo with Vic while ignoring Ethan and Thomas and then he pisses off again. Waiting for food is a test of patience for you, you’re hungry, and Thomas dipping his fingers under your skirt from time to time almost has you jump. You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom but when you look at yourself in the mirror Vic is standing behind you, she’s dragging you into one of the cubicles wordlessly.

The kiss you’re sharing has you gasp for air. Vic easily guides your hand into her underwear, she doesn’t have to tell you what to do or what she wants. Your fingers find their way into her pussy easily, finding a rhythm, you moan into her mouth when she slips her hand into your tights in return.

“No … no touch-,” you moan again, “Thomas said no touching.”

“Can’t see him anywhere,” she laughs but she seems to see your pleading eyes, “Don’t worry, he was really happy about the idea. Just be good and make me cum, honey.”

You know how to touch her, you know how to move your fingers in her, how deep you have to go for her, which rhythm she likes - you know how to get her off. How she will always moan loudly when someone sucks at her collarbone - Thomas, Ethan or today you. She only needs soft pressure to her clit and then she cums, moaning into your mouth. Her fingers are still playing with you when you try to pull back.

“Vic,” you whimper, “please let me cum.”

“No,” she smiles at you sweetly, “Thomas said no.”

“Pleeease,” you beg, “please, Vic.”

“That isn’t my decision.” But she gets out her phone and you can hear Thomas’ voice not even a few seconds later. “Someone has a question for you.”

“Please.” Vic is moving her fingers in you faster. “Can I cum, please, god, I need to …”

“No.” You know he says it with a smile even when you can’t see him. “Only when I want you to.”

“I love when he is like this,” Victoria whispers into your ear after hanging up.

Thomas kisses your nose sweetly when you’re sitting back next to him.

For some reason Ethan is the one who wants to go dancing, it’s so suspicious that you think it’s Thomas’ idea after all. The club is dark and you’re dancing between Ethan and Thomas, Thomas lightening himself a cigarette without care. The beat is vibrating through your veins, it’s loud, Ethan has his lips against your neck. They both take your hands, dragging and pushing you at the same time until you end up in a small room with a couch on which Ethan takes a seat. It’s not like that they were people all around you making out a few seconds ago, and doing worse than fucking. You wouldn’t have had a problem for Ethan showing you off like this, but this is Thomas’ game. Not Ethan’s, and certainly not yours.

Thomas is undressing you slowly and to your surprise fully. He kisses along your neckline up to your ear, leaving sloppy kisses on the shell. His hands caressing your hips, then your thighs and you whimper.

“I think it’s Ethan’s turn.”

You don’t need another invitation, Ethan is sitting on the sofa, his jeans and his briefs partially pulled down. He’s soft with you, helps you getting on top of him, kisses your hair. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear while Thomas watches your every move. You whimper even more when his dick stretches you out, how he finds a slow but no less torturing rhythm. You moan into the kiss he gives you. For the thousands time your head spins today and it spins even more when you think about Victoria and the girl she vanished with, a girl she will make cum, while you’re still going to be denied.

“Please,” you whimper again but you lose your train of thought when Ethan bucks his hips up into you and Thomas steps behind you, pinching your nipples. “Please.”

“No, honey, no.” Thomas coughs sweetly and pinches your nipples harder. “I promise, I’ll make it hurt when you cum. I’ll ruin it for you.”

Ethan cums with a loud groan and you lose your mind completely.

“I’m gonna clean you up when we’re home,” Thomas says and kisses you between your shoulder blades.

He does make good on his promise when you’re home, Vic in tow again - her smile satisfied. Your eyes roll back on their own accord when Thomas cleans you with a warm wet washcloth. It’s too much, but at the same time not enough. You’re already overstimulated but you still can’t cum. It doesn’t help that Thomas has you in front of the bathroom mirror and that you can see yourself.

“Please … let me … please.”

He laughs, you can hear, you can see it through the mirror. How are you this in love is the only question in your mind for a few seconds until Vic and Ethan enter the bathroom as well.

“No,” he still laughs, “I told you, if you’re even thinking about it, I’ll ruin your orgasm.”

Almost you say fuck it, you want to see what happens, you want to know how it feels. Thomas sometimes threatens you with it but you never misbehaved as much to have him do it. The thought comes and goes when he presses himself against your body and you realise that he cleaned you up just to fuck you again.

Your brain is in overdrive, there’s no way to calm yourself down. Thomas isn’t letting you. Ethan and Vic are watching, he has her in his arms. Your sanity suspends when Thomas enters you. Your fingers tighten around the bathroom sink, just to anchor yourself to something. His groan is loud and too close to your ear. And Ethan and Vic make it their challenge to make you cum while Thomas still tells you no. Vic is going down on her knees, licking over your clit, Ethan is kissing you. And everything drives you crazy. But in the end Thomas’ no still rings louder in your head than anything around you. He holds you up and then everything stops, Thomas cumming over your thighs, he kisses you behind your ear. He cleans you up again and Ethan carries you to bed, you are sure your legs wouldn’t have worked.

Thomas caresses your back, kisses you, just holds you in his arms until he falls asleep. You can hear the evenly breathing of all of them all around you. His heartbeat under your ear. But you still … You still want to cum. If you wouldn’t be so sure to wake him up from it, you would use Thomas’ thigh. You yelp in surprise when Thomas catches your hand between your legs and looks at you out of wide eyes.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“Please.”

“Come here,” he gets his thigh between your legs and you rub yourself against him without thinking, “When you cum, you’ll cum as many times as I want you to, okay?”

“Yes, just …” You whimper and it just washes over you. You crash and then you crash down on Thomas who holds you close.

“And now again.”

.#####.

“Your turn,” Thomas shoves the box in front of Ethan’s face.

“Oh, nice.” He turns it over - it’s blank.

“Why is he getting all of them?” Vic is looking at you.

“Luck?” You shrug.

“I want to plant a fig tree.”

You doubt that any of you has a clue how to plant a fig tree but Ethan looks happy with his choice. You already see yourself washing dirt out of Thomas’ hair.

.#####.

“How about we all get a token for the weekend and try to combine them with each other?” Thomas says one Wednesday evening. They are off for the weekend and it’s the perfect opportunity.

Thomas picks an envelope but Vic takes it out of his hand before he can open it: “My one, thank you. Uhhhhhhh, massage night. I’m up for that.”

Ethan picks next and reads it to you: “Weekend getaway to a destination of your choice. That’s nice, we will take my car, and I’ll drive, that’s my only condition.”

“Shotgun, I’m sitting in front!” Vic looks at him. “No way, I’m putting my legs in the back of that convertible.”

“Okay, now you.” Thomas passes the box to you. You want to protest but they all shake their heads at you.

“Back kisses.”

“Wonderful, and now me.” Thomas picks the last envelope before putting it back where it lives on the windowsill. “A post sex snack. Nom, that’s better than a massage.”

“You’re just greedy for food,” Vic laughs. “Where are you carrying us off to?”

“Alberobello.”

“Albe-what?”

“Alberobello, Thom,” you say, “I want to go there. I said I want to see the trulli houses and I want to go to Lecce to the botanical garden and I want to see Martina Franca.”

Thomas blinks at you: “Okay, how about we start tomorrow, go to Alberobello, stay there for a night and then stay in some town?”

That’s what you do, the next day all four of you scramble into Ethan’s car. You marvel over the architecture, take photos of the houses and silly photos of Ethan who seems the only one to care. Victoria and Thomas are sitting on a bench in the sun, drinking Aperol. Someone carefully approaches them and asks for a photo. You stay for the night and Vic gets her token out.

“Massage time.”

“I definitely have to massage Thom’s nose with suncream.” There’s a sunburn blooming on his face. “Or at least some aftersun, you will look like a crab by Sunday otherwise.”

“You can nurse him,” Vic laughs, “Ethan can take care of my back.”

Ethan is sitting on Victoria’s thighs, massaging her shoulders, sometimes dipping lower to her waist, she’s blissfully sighing. On the other side of the bed you’re taking care of Thomas’ nose and his face, there’s no blissful sighing, he looks like he’s being tortured. His mood changes when you scratch behind his ears, his eyes flutter shut and he hums. After a while Ethan and you switch places. You massage Vic’s back, Ethan massages Thomas’ shoulder. Vic is pushing you down between her legs after a while, you can hear Thomas’ breath hitch before there’s a loud whimper. You can’t see, Vic holding you down, but the next morning there’s a massive bite mark where his throat meets his shoulder.

Friday you spend in Martina Franca, this time you put suncream on Thomas before leaving the house. Ethan and you are restlessly wandering around the city, ancient walls around you. There’s too much to see, too many photos to take, food to try, you stopped counting the amount of drinks Thomas and Vic already had. They giggle when you’re visiting a Basilica and at Ethan and you looking at the ceiling. Too many narrow streets to walk, Thomas finds some traditional cured ham that he’s munching next to you while you take a photo of Ethan who is leaning down to Vic. You just fall into bed when night comes.

Lecce is a beautiful baroque town. More narrow streets, another Basilica that took 200 years to build as Ethan and you learn, more food, more drinks, the botanical garden you want to see. At one point Thomas just sits down and refuses to walk another step, you can only coax him with the promise of getting lasagna for dinner. You took a photo of an angel on one of the walls. Another one of Thomas kissing it hands, and Vic jumping his back. Ethan is immersed in the tourist guide book but you can hear him laugh.

“I want my back kisses now,” you say even before your head hits the pillows of the hotel bed. Waiting isn’t your strong suit, and luckily you don’t have to wait, Thomas’ hands are freeing you from your dress and then your bra. His lips on your shoulders, Vic’s on your lower back, Ethan’s somewhere in-between. Thomas sucks a love bite into your skin, Vic biting and Ethan licking over the skin she bit mere seconds ago. You don’t know who initiates it but you end up on your back, Thomas on top of you - between your legs, Vic playing with your nipples and Ethan’s hands on Thomas’ hips. Everything's a blur, even when you cum, until he crashes down on you, panting and heaving, still in you.

“Snack?” You can hear Ethan whispering into his ear and Vic giggles.

“I want chicken nuggets.”

“That’s not a snack,” Vic reminds him but Thomas doesn’t care.

“That counts as a snack for me.”

He rolls you around until he can kiss your back again.

.#####.

“I would take one, if that’s okay?” Ethan looks at you and Thomas. You’re sure Vic would raise her eyebrows if she were there. You nod your head. “One Knock-Your-Off-Your-Feet Kiss. Exactly what I need right now, can I cash this in with everyone of you?”

“No.”

Thomas immediately shuts up when you both look at him: “I don’t think, you have any right to say that, Mr. I’m using this token until I drop dead.”

“Good,” he gets closer to Thomas’ face, “I’m starting here.”

You have seen them kiss before but it’s breathtaking. Thomas leans into every of Ethan’s movements, his hands tangled up in Ethan’s hair and Ethan pulling his hair in return. Thomas’ eyes are closed, there’s a tiny bit of spit on his chin and you can hear him moan into Ethan’s mouth. It would be a lie to say that it doesn’t get you hot and bothered.

Your kiss happens a few hours later when you’re both on the balcony. Ethan is smoking and then he’s pulling you close, cigarette still in hand. Where with Thomas he was still careful to not scare him aware, he isn’t with you. His tongue is everywhere where you want it and you finally kiss back. You know, Thomas isn’t busy with his phone anymore.

Ethan gets his kiss from Vic a few evenings later. And Thomas and you are both staring.

.#####.

Your choice of date night.

Thomas is delighted when he reads it to you. You step on Vic’s foot when she says something that sounds like You should’ve taken this one out as well. Somehow she thinks it’s the worst thing to have Thomas plan a date night, but you know it’ll be nice and still chill, he just puts more thought into it.

You kiss his cheek when he gives you some flowers on the evening of the date.

“Giving you some flowers, would be like throwing money out of the window,” he says to Vic but gives her a bottle of wine before he gives some flowers to Ethan as well. “Looking at you, I am hilariously underdressed.”

It’s as chill as you thought it would be, he takes you to a small but not too fancy restaurant. He doesn’t complain when it’s time to pay, he gets Vic some gelato when she’s whining. And you’re watching a film in some outdoor cinema, hidden in the back, so no one of them is drawing any attention, before heading home.

.#####.

Vic takes a token out of the box without anyone bullying her into it one weekend. Which earns her some comments out of Thomas’ direction.

“Paint something together.” She smiles at you and wiggles her eyebrows, “You could have just asked, this doesn’t involve body paint by any chance?”

Ethan rolls his eyes and Thomas giggles.

“No,” you smile back, “painting on a canvas.”

“Can I just fling paint at it?” Thomas asks but he looks interested.

You should have known that he would fling paint at everything that moves, including you, as well.

.#####.

Spend a whole day in bed.

It’s almost funny that Ethan draws this one as well. It would have been the perfect one for Thomas but he didn’t get this or the one for a nap. You aren’t sure if he really pouts or if you imagine it. Luckily Ethan is taking everyone to bed with him, he reads, immersed into another world. Vic is listening to music, scrolling her phone, poking Thomas’ side when she gets bored. You’re listening to the video Thomas is watching on his laptop while embroidering but you’re thinking about knitting a beanie for Thomas - like a grandma Vic would say. And not even ten minutes into the day, Thomas is out. He falls asleep on Ethan’s stomach, Ethan mindlessly scratching his head and playing with strands of his hair.

“Does this include dinner in bed?” Thomas asks yawning when he opens his eyes again.

.#####.

Thomas and you are both alone when he picks another envelope out of the box. There’s one with a bend, you’re sure you know which token it is but Thomas isn’t getting the hint when you put it directly under his nose.

“Ugh,” he says, “Can I take a different one?”

You shouldn’t allow it but he looks at you with puppy eyes. You want him to get the bend one, you choose it with Thomas in mind from the beginning. That’s why you take the envelope from him and give him the other one: “Here, that one is better.”

“Is this because you’re keeping the blank ones from me?”

“You …”

“Yes, I know,” he shrugs, “I … The only funny thing is that Vic isn’t getting them either.”

“Mysterious,” you smile at him. The truth is, you trust Ethan to be responsible with them. “Open your token, Maso. I’m sure it’s a good one.”

“Watching the sunrise and sunset on the same day,” he reads - his hands shake a little bit, “Oh my god, that’s perfect. Can we do that somewhere at the beach?”

“There’s a token for a beach picnic somewhere in here.”

He looks at you pleadingly again, you skim through the envelope until you find the token.

Picnic at the beach.

“You know this is cheating,” Thomas laughs at you. You don’t care, as long as it makes him happy. “Can we do this alone? I want to spend some time with you, without the dickheads.”

Victoria is happy to get out of the whole thing, no questions asks, only the plea to Thomas to not send her pictures of the fucking sun. Ethan doesn’t complain, somehow he still ends up in the supermarket with you when you have a grocery run for your beach picnic. Thomas goes crazy, it’s on brand but Ethan still looks confused.

“Is he about to buy the whole place?” Ethan asks you.

You don’t even have time to answer: “Do you think I could afford that?”

“I guess?” He looks around. “It’s small, so they don’t have that much inventory but … before I give you silly ideas, that’s a lot of perishable food, Thom.”

There’s no doubt that you’ll have enough food for the next week when you step out of the supermarket again.

For once Thomas is awake when he has to, yawning but vibrating with excitement so much that he doesn’t care about the tiredness. It’s still dark outside and you’re happy that he agreed to driving, you fall asleep for most of the ride.

You’re happy that Thomas knows his secluded beach spots, you’ll be alone for most of the day. You’re still half asleep when the sun rises, you don’t stop him when he sends a photo to Vic and captions it with The fucking sun. By the evening you have the second bottle of wine between your legs, Thomas smokes and you couldn’t be happier when you lean your head on his shoulder and the sun goes down.

.#####.

Vic is crinkling her nose looking at the token she got out of the envelope: “This sucks.”

“Why?”

“Can I put it back and take a different one?”

No one answers her, but Ethan takes the token out of her hand: “That isn’t bad,” he says, “One screen free evening - no phones.”

“That is hell,” Vic corrects him, “I can’t do that, I’ll miss something.”

“We could go out for dinner,” Thomas suggests - he might be feeling bad for her drawing the token he put back, “or have some drinks, go out for the night, go to a concert. Fuck, if that helps.”

“Can we do all of that?”

After the third time Vic is reaching for her phone, Ethan takes it away from her.

“But I’ll miss something,” she complains.

“Yes, you’re missing what’s going on around you,” he says, “Believe me you can have a conversation with us without clinging to that.”

“But what is the time? We’re gonna be late to ....”

Ethan looks at his watch: “It’s quarter to eight.”

“Good that we have someone sophisticated enough to wear a watch in our midst,” Thomas jokes and Ethan pockets Vic’s phone under loud protest coming from her.

When you’re laying next to her in bed, heavily breathing, hours later, she fumbles for her phone again. Thomas catches her wrist: “What do you possibly need your phone for now? Do you want to tweet how much you love my dick?”

“You would love that.” Ethan and you snort, but Victoria doesn’t stop there. “Next time you can blow yourself.”

“I might just do that.”

“Careful,” Ethan interferes in the conversation and puts his hand on Thomas’ throat - you can see him swallow, “Don’t promise me anything you can’t deliver. You know how that ends, kitten, don’t you?”

Thomas swallows again and nods.

“That might be more interesting than my phone.”

.#####.

The seasons are slowly changing from summer to autumn when Ethan picks the next token, and this time he’s delighted while Victoria and Thomas already roll their eyes and high five each other.

“Antique market and thrift store shopping,” he reads, “I decide how we use this, right? I want some decor and have a look around for some books.”

“Some weird lamps again, perhaps?”

Thomas laughs about Vic’s joke but Ethan’s gaze is shutting him up.

“You’re all going to accompany me,” he announces and Victoria rolls her eyes once again.

“It can’t be that bad, right?” you whisper to Thomas.

He looks at you amused: “You clearly are underestimating the amount of weird shit Ethan is into.”

You know hours later when Thomas is carrying around some of Vic’s purchases and Ethan is still looking at some antique clothes racks. Thomas seems to give up on life when you enter a shop for antique clocks. His hands are shaking, and you suspect it’s the cut off of nicotine as he chain smoked the whole mid-morning. It doesn’t surprise you when he wanders outside to light another one.

“How many clocks can he look at?” Vic asks when she joins you outside.

.#####.

They are releasing a new single, you know that they’re excited but that means a few weeks on your own again while they are on a promo tour. It eases you that you talked about stuff like this a few months ago.

“You should take one,” Vic says and gives you the box.

Board Game Night.

Not the best thing to do on your own, you think sarcastically. Thomas seems to see the annoyance on your face.

“We can have one online when we’re gone,” he says, “and then we can have another one when we’re all together? You can choose all the games.”

When the time comes, they are all on their laptops in their own hotel rooms - you’re grateful for it, that you’re all on your own and it isn’t only you. You play Monopoly for hours and Vic is the first one to accuse Thomas of cheating when he wins. He does that when you play at home, taking money out of the bank when he thinks no one looks at him, somehow having a house or a hotel on one of his streets where the last time you looked was none. It got so bad one time that Victoria announced she would rather piss herself than leaving Thomas unattended or even out of her eyesight with the board. Board game nights were usually them bickering and Ethan and you picking up the pieces afterwards, but after every night they swore that they loved it. Sometimes the competitive aspect just turned their heads in. You can’t wait for the game night in person after everyone says their goodbyes and Thomas blows you a kiss.

Could we puzzle?

No!

No!!!!

You didn’t expect anything different from Vic and Thomas. He lacks the concentration for it and Vic admitted it drives her insane. At least they can hate something together, you giggle to yourself.

YES!

On the other hand Ethan was always up for a night in with a puzzle.

You two think puzzle mats are the best invention of the century. You shouldn’t have a vote in this.

Somehow Vic seems to have forgotten that you can choose every game you want, and you want to puzzle.

It’s the best, go die mad about it. Anything in mind?

You send a link to a puzzle with 42.000 pieces. It’s more of a joke but at the same it’s a dream.

Noted

Wait what? That’s against the geneva convention and my human rights!!!!!!

You’re a bit dramatic, Thomas.

Do you want me dead or something?

Victoria and Thomas try to argue that a puzzle technically isn’t a board game but they both take defeat when you remind them that Thomas said everything you want, their opinion on the matter doesn’t count. It’s fun, for once Vic and Thomas are helping each other without noticing it. Vic takes Thomas’ hand when she sees that he’s getting frustrated with himself and how he loses focus. Thomas helps her looking for the piece she’s missing when she groans. And Ethan and you are looking at each other knowingly, smiling.

.#####.

The next is one of Vic’s token again, and this time she’s happy about it.

“Dress up for dinner and dancing or a movie at home,” she grins, “This is gonna be a party, you’re all gonna dress up pretty for me and we’re going to decorate this place. I want a mirror ball.”

You don’t question it but Ethan gets her the desired mirror ball, he goes so far to order some buffet style catering and turns up in a fancy suit. Vic is dressed in a fancy short dress, your dress isn’t showing as much but it’s fancy enough. Thomas is dressed in wide suit pants, for some reason he’s barefoot, and in a shirt that’s mostly unbuttoned showing off his chest hair. If you could, you would be on your knees for all three of them but you’re sure that’s a different kind of party.

“Here,” Thomas blushes furiously when Vic puts a collar around his neck. His fingernails are digging into the skin of your hand he’s holding, “You should be thankful that I’m not putting you on a leash.”

You can see how the blush deepens.

“Say thank you.”

“Thank you.”

You can hear how she whispers to him, you’re sure that you can hear her asking if this is okay, and the grip he has on your hand loosens.

All four of you are dancing, drinking, kissing, your hand wanders into Thomas’ trousers while Vic and Ethan are whispering into his ears, he blushes and moans and then you dance again. Thomas looks a bit lost and wobbly on the legs when you get him to dance again. Until one of Thomas; neighbours threatens to call the police on you as the music is way too loud.

When you clean up a little bit, so you don’t have to do it the next day with a horrible hangover, you see that Victoria really brought a leash. It surprises you but out of fun you ask Thomas to give it back to her. He swallows, hard. But he’s still doing what you asked of him.

“Oh,” you can hear Vic laugh, “You want me to leash you?”

“Or I can spank you with it,” you see Thomas squirm on the spot when Ethan speaks, “Your choice.”

“No-none,” he almost chokes on his words, “None, please. Please. Red.”

And then you’re all three all over him, you’re kissing his face, Ethan and Vic hugging him.

“I’m proud of you, Maso.” He looks at you confused, he’s sniffing. “For knowing it’s enough and using your safeword.”

.#####.

After the party at home, you should have known how serious Ethan can take some things when he’s allowed to do so. It turns out that he can still surprise you when he gets the token Have a tasting party with a box of chocolates.

The box of chocolate is some quality chocolate but you all thought you would eat it, joke around a bit and otherwise enjoy the evening. Somehow Ethan has other plans. Every chocolate is on a tiny plate, with some tiny plagues on which he wrote what it is, some tasting notes on the side and he serves wine with it. He’s in a waistcoat, when he starts a speech which he’s reading from a handkerchief, Thomas sitting next to you loses it and snorts the wine almost through his nose. Vic is biting her lip so hard it almost starts bleeding.

“Silence,” Ethan claps into his hands, “Your undivided attention on chocolate number one, please.”

.#####.

There’s some confusion the next time around. Thomas tells you that Vic took a token but when you ask her she denies it. Problem is, you know Thomas is right, as there’s a token missing out of the box. After closer inspection you know why, someone doesn’t want to go stargazing - it’s the token missing out of the box.

Spend an evening stargazing.

“Would it help if we take a bottle of wine?” You ask her when you’re all on the couch, Thomas caressing your feet in his lap.

“We could use mine,” Ethan shrugs when you look at him, “I took someone earlier, it says Champagne and strawberries on it. I don’t know if that would help.”

“Does that somehow make stargazing more appealing to you, Vic?”

“Only if I can watch Thomas lick that champagne from your nipples.”

You sigh but Thomas all of a sudden is way more interested in the conversation than before, even stargazing didn’t have him pique up like this.

“As long as we can do that after and not in the park.”

.#####.

Thomas is next up for a token and he already blushes when he reads it, and even more when he shows it to the three of you.

You get a compliment every day for a week.

“Oh, you will blush a lot the next seven days,” Vic laughs.

There’s a range of compliments from, you’re the loveliest clown - Vic, you have the prettiest eyes - Ethan to you’re the best person to wake up in the middle of the night to go on a walk with me - you. But there’s also the compliments that make him blush like Vic predicted. All the pretty noises you make - you, the way your blush starts on your chest - Vic, the way you look when you come - Ethan.

You can see how he gets more and more flattered day by day but there’s something else. And he breaks one night when you cuddle up to him and whisper against his lips: “You’re the best and loveliest chaotic idiot to me. God, I love you.”

He squirms, he’s getting uncomfortable, he looks like he isn’t believing you.

“It’s true, I -”

You kiss him instead.

.#####.

As soon as Ethan is smirking at Vic, you’re sure that she isn’t going to like whatever he has planned.

“You choose who is boss for the day.”

“Oh, you’re choosing me, right?”

“No, I’m choosing Thomas.” He’s still smirking at her.

“What?” She looks at him. “Are you serious?”

“I thought you’re into Thomas being more bossy?” You have to laugh as well.

“In bed,” she looks at you, furious, while Thomas laughs, “With you.”

“We can arrange that,” Thomas says, “I can boss you around both.”

To no one's surprise Vic has to suffer the most under Thomas’ regime and you have to try not to giggle when she groans at him for the billionth time.

“He deserves that,” Ethan whispers to you.

.#####.

“Recreate your first date. Does that mean ours?” Thomas gestures between you and him, “Or does that mean ours?”

“What was your first date?” Ethan asks.

“We went to a museum, Thom took me to a wine bar,” you smile at the memory, “And then I fell asleep on him drunk a few hours later.”

“Yes, and we had pasta,” he smiles at you.

“What was our date again?” Ethan asks.

“We fucked,” Vic laughs, “First Thomas confessed a lot of kinky shit to us and then we fucked for like two days.”

“Oh,” Ethan grins, “How could I forget that?”

“How about both?”

.#####.

“I’m gonna already start arguing that I think this should translate to sex,” Vic says before reading the token to you, “Dessert only dinner.”

“You have a problem,” Thomas comments, “I am not getting reduced to dessert.”

In the end, Vic is outvoted and Thomas isn’t getting reduced to anything but he’s patting his stomach by the end of the evening. You all had too much food and somehow Vic managed to eat the most. You had cheese and grapes, cake, tiramisu, dessert wine, cannoli and florentines.

You pass out in Thomas’ lap while he smokes. Overindulgence.

.#####.

Ethan takes one of the last tokens, it’s a blank one once again.

“How is that possible?” Vic looks at Ethan, then at you. “Why am I not getting one of them?”

“Maybe they don’t like you,” Thomas winks at you, “They don’t like me either.”

“Back to my token, I want a night in a honeymoon suite.”

“Okay?” Thomas looks interested.

“I want room service, a pool or a whirlpool,” he looks directly at Thomas, “a bed big enough for us and where I can tie up Tho.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t think they have beds where you can tie him up,” Vic says - her phone is already out, “And can you compromise on having a butler but no hot tub?”

“Can you look for a room with a terrace then? I can tie him to the railings as well.”

“Would that be okay, kitten?”

Thomas only shamelessly moans and then hides his face on your shoulder.

The suite Vic chooses in the end, does have room service for food that’s too fancy for your liking (who pays 12€ for blueberry juice you ask but Ethan just looks at you and deadpans me) and a terrace, just as he requested.

Thomas adam’s apple bobs, he already whimpers.

.#####.

There’s only two tokens left and one you kept hidden for last.

“Last one,” Vic says before opening the envelope, “before I can forget about this box of horrors.”

She squeals - it’s a blank one.

“Oh no.” As if Thomas already knows what’s coming his way.

“I could do with some new lingerie,” she muses, “A lot of new lingerie actually and Thom is going to pay for it.”

“Anything else?” he groans.

“Hmmm, I could do with a new strap,” she sticks her tongue out at him, “You know … to fuck your girlfriend.”

.#####.

“The last one is yours,” Thomas says and gives the envelope to you.

Swing on the swings at a nearby playground.

“I want to give that one to you.”

“No,” he protests, “you barely took any. It’s yours.”

“You should have it. I know it’s cheating, but …,” you smile at him, “I want you to have it and you can use it with me whenever you feel like it.”

“That means I can take you tonight?” He looks at you as if he doesn’t trust what he just heard. “We can take a bottle of wine and when I feel like it next week or next month we can repeat it?”

“As often as you want,” you assure him.

That night you end up drunk on a swing set with Thomas for the first time.

.#####.

“I have one last one, just for fun.” You feel like making an announcement. Vic is blinking at you confused but Ethan takes the envelope from you.

“Gift hunt. At the shopping centre everyone is getting 15€ for each partner and an hour to buy something for the other.”

“That sounds like fun.” You’re surprised to hear that from Vic but you’re happy about it, she seems excited.

The array of gifts and your reactions is cute to look at. Vic gives her presents to you first. There’s a pair of nicely padded handcuffs for Thomas, he blushes and you suspect that she used more than her 15€ she had to spend. There’s a beautiful strappy bra with embroidered flowers she gives to you, and then you’re sure she used more than she should have. Ethan grins when she gives him a leather paddle and your head spins. There’s something else everyone gets: It’s a little V on a keychain.

“Are you trying to mark me?” Ethan asks amused and gives her smack on the thigh.

“Yeah, I sure feel pissed on,” Thomas says and she wiggles her eyebrows at him suggestively, “No, no, no, no. We talked about this, Victoria!”

She shrugs and you laugh but Thomas looks at you terrified: “If you ever change your mind …”

The next round of gifts comes from Ethan. It’s little portraits, a bit bigger than a business card. After closer inspection you can see that they differ slightly. Ethan has the “original” of the four of you for himself, he is carrying it in his wallet. On Vic’s version she makes bunny ears behind Thomas’ head. On Thomas’ version you’re kissing his cheek, there is a headband with kitten ears on his head. On your version Thomas is kissing your cheek.

There’s no theme to the gifts you got for everyone. You have a poetry collection of Rainer Maria Rilke for Ethan. There’s lipstick in a deep burgundy red for Vic. A coffee table book of sunsets for Thomas and a little box - it has love tokens written on it.

“You gotta be joking?” Vic looks at you in disbelief.

“It’s not for you,” Thomas says and kisses you on the cheek like he does so often, “That’s for me only.”

And lastly there’s Thomas, you hope that you didn’t stress him too much, you know he takes his buying presents for people business really seriously. You can imagine how he was biting his nails because of the time restraint. He gives his present to Ethan first. It’s a notebook with a matching pen and a small puzzle that shows a Roman alley. For Vic he got something that looks a lot like lube and a book titled “Getting Off: One Woman's Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction” - Vic only rolls her eyes at him. And then there’s the one for you, it’s a little flower press.

“You know that the place will be plastered in flowers?”

“Good,” he smiles at you.

.#####.

A few evenings later Vic and you find Thomas sitting on the floor, hunched over. He happily hums to the vinyl that plays in the background. When he hears you, he tries to hide what he’s doing but Victoria steps behind him.

“That’s why all the tokens were puzzle pieces?” she laughs, “And why you pocketed them all? Are you going to betray me and enjoy puzzling now?”

“I’m missing one,” he tells her.

“I think, I can help with that,” you give him the chore token you took off him.

And he puts the last piece in place.

.#####.

END.

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chemical-killjoy · 1 year

Text

✨MASTERLIST✨

Greetings Dear Reader! Right now the majority of the fics on my masterlist are from my old blogs, @immrbrightsideeee and @remingtonisleithal, so most links will take you to that, any and all notes on those posts I am not likely to see for a bloody long time, so please message me or send an ask or something if you really liked the fics/want a sequel or are anything! Also if you like my writing, check out @smiling-girl and @fandomfoodiedancer, they're amazing <33

Requests are OPEN

(and encouraged lol)

I write for a whole bunch of fandoms, but here's the ones I can think of: arcane, black veil brides, bridgerton, maneskin, marvel, motionless in white, my chemical romance, palaye royale, pierce the veil, the artful dodger, the raven cycle (books), and supernatural :)

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updated: 15/12/23

Damiano David:

*A night to remember 1/2

smut. Damiano is attracted to reader singing iwbys

Movie and a kiss

the reader had a fight with their family and Damiano looks after them

Fast Car (trigger warning)

Honestly this is just angst and emotional and if you don’t cry I have failed as a writer. But it’s got a happy ending!!

Vic de Angelis:

Knight in Shining Armour

Vic saves the reader from a creep at a bar

Remington Leith:

*Caught in the Storm

reader and remington share a bed in a storm. What ever will happen?

Feel better

comfort fic, remington takes the reader on an adventure to feel better

*Only one answer (part two of Feel Better)

I will find you

mesmerized by someone in the crowd, remington has to find the reader

Something beautiful (part 2 of I will find you)

I Just Need Some Air*

young!Remington and the reader are at a party and after confessing their feelings things get heated.

Better Than Nutella

Remington is hooked on his new friend’s cooking, and smile.

Movie Night

Remington and Y/N have a movie night

Morning Light: (this is a collab with @cursivetalk)

vampire Remington, based on the tonight is the night I die video. Series, currently being written.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Emerson Barrett:

Teach me

emerson teaches the reader the drums

Andy Biersack:

Don’t go (trigger warning) (there is comfort)

I Don’t Wanna Be Alone (trigger warning) (with comfort)

Love isn’t always fair *

After a concert Andy reveals his love for his best friend

Mortician’s Daughter (trigger warning)

Thomas Raggi:

Moonlight’s Curse (part 1)

werewolf!thomas, a series being written :)

Mistakes and Misunderstandings

Ronnie Radke:

*untitled

pwp really, Ronnie meets Y/N in a bar and things happen

Vic Fuentes:

Hell Over Me (trigger warning) (happy ending)

Frank Iero:

Not A Kid *

TW brief mention of abuse, age gap. Y/N works for MCR and it turns out Frank likes her just as much as she likes him

Gerard Way:

Cemetery Drive

TW for suicide and self harm. Y/N visits her ex’s grave, and is surprised to find him there

Hang Em High

Cemetery drive part 2

Demolition Lovers

Part 3 and final chapter of Cemetery Drive

Kisses and Coffee

Coffee shop and accidental kiss AU

Dean Winchester:

Life In (Rose) Pink

Dean is a romantic cliche trying his hardest

Chris Motionless:

Eternally Yours *

Based on the music video

Jinx:

You Decide

Reader has a breakdown and Jinx helps them

Jack Dawkins/Dodger:

Healing Kiss *

Reader is in hospital, but Dr. Dawkins is there to heal her. TW for self harm, suicide and mentions of abuse.

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wonderlandishell · 1 year

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Windows down, scream along

Damiano David/Victoria De Angelis/Thomas Raggi/Ethan Torchio, Damiano David/Victoria De Angelis

Polyamory / Coming of Age / Friends with Benefits / Friends to Lovers

They grow up and grow into love.

Read on ao3

#maneskin #maneskin fanfiction #thomas raggi #victoria de angelis #damiano david #ethan torchio #vic de angelis #maneskin angst #maneskin fluff #maneskin fanfic #maneskin smut

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selbsgallery · 2 years

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- ⩩🎸› 𝙑𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖 𝘿𝙚 𝘼𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙨 𝕚cons 120x120⊰❞

📸 give credits if you use.

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sassy-sofia · 2 years

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Your Ocean

Pairing: Thomas x Damiano

Description: “He had never really learned how to just like something. He has always had to go in head first, surrounding himself in it, changing himself for it, letting it consume him.”

Thomas becomes infatuated by a mysterious man after noticing him outside of his campus. Letting curiosity get the best of him, he quickly sets on the path to learn who he is, however, some people are best to admire from afar.

Wordcount: 81k (complete)

Chapters: 19/19

TW: mental health, homophobia, substance abuse, smut

Additional tags on AO3

#maneskin #thomas raggi #damiano david #ethan torchio #victoria de angelis #angst #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3fic #maneskin fanfiction #vic de angelis #måneskin fanfic

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gr8rainbowpunk · 2 years

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My brain has decided it’s blurb time. So enjoy!

You’d been friends with the band for a while, but now they were about to start a us tour and were staying at your house for a while for the first time.*

“Y/N How does this shower work I cannot figure out how to turn it on” you heard Ethan half yell across the apartment

“Hold on I’ll show you” you yelled while heading to the bathroom

You walked towards the shower and started fiddling with the knobs “so this knob controls the temperature, this one turns it on and off and this one makes it come out of the shower head instead of the faucet”

You turn back after showing him and your jaw drops. He was standing there with absolutely nothing on.

He had had pants on when you came in earlier, they were now neatly placed on the sink.

You didn’t mean to stare but it was hard to miss, you’d always noticed when ever he wore just about anything that his bulge was definitely not small. But this was even bigger than you expected.

You’d always had a bit a crush on Ethan, honestly you’d had a crush on all of them since you had met.

“You know staring is generally not considered polite, but given that it is the typical reaction I’ll let it slide”

“I- I didn’t mean to, I just wasn’t expecting you without clothes”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry I forgot something’s are normal in Italy that are certainly not in America”

“Well I’ll let you take your shower”

“Or you could stay if you’d like”

…

(Maybe I’ll make a part two idk)

#måneskin #maneskin #ethan torchio #victoria de angelis #damiano david #victoria maneskin #vic de angelis #iwbys #thomas raggi #ethan maneskin #måneskin fanfic #blurbs

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spadadargento · 2 years

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Set in the 90s, the story follows the alpha Damiano David, the sole remaining heir of a disgraced business family, who is trying to stay on top of managing the inheritance of the bad name his ancestors created while maintaining the family farm in Redwood, a town near Austin, Texas and the Omega Ethan Torchio, who has decided to search for work away from his home in Denver, running from the stigma of his condition after years of treatment and interventions that didn’t help. The work contains triggers around infertility. Please, reconsider reading if that will cause you emotional distress! <3

#maneskin #maneskinedit #fanfic #fanfiction #ethan torchio #damiano david #vic de angelis #victoria de angelis #thomas raggi #ethdam #damianethan #darchio #dameth #abo #ao3 link #ao3

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writingmaneskin · 1 year

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The Study Buddy - A Vic De Angelis Story

Pairings: Vic De Angelis x GN!Reader

Fluff

Description: You are nervous before an upcoming exam and Vic does everything in her power to help ease the anxiety and give you the confidence you need.

Words: ~900

A/N: Life is very funny at the moment and I am trying to write out the requests lingering in my inbox. I hope you enjoy this one 💕

THE MAIN MASTERLIST

join the taglist || ko-fi || come chat

You heard the door of your apartment unlock and heard Vic’s soft footsteps in the corridor.

“I bring food! It’s study break time!” She announced, opening the door of your room where she found you among piles of notes and the open laptop, sitting just as she had left you a few hours ago.

“I need to do some more work before I can take a break.” You insisted, picking up the closest pile of notes to run through again. Vic gave you a look and retreated to leave the food in the living area before coming back to you.

“Do I need to bribe you to eat? Because bribery is not above me.” She brushed a stray strand from your face.

“No, but you can try to bribe my brain into retaining information. That would be nice.”

“Tesoro, you’ve been studying around the clock for days now. Blockages are bound to happen.”

“I don’t have time for those.”

Vic was quiet for a moment.

“What if I help you?” She offered, her words making you look up.

“What do you mean?”

“What if I help you study?” She clarified her offer.

“But you have things going on.”

“I’ll make time.” She insisted.

“Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t have offered it if I wasn’t sure. My only request is that we take regular breaks and that you start taking care of yourself more.”

“Will you tell me if it starts to bother you?”

“The only thing that bothers me is that you are neglecting yourself. But yes, I will tell you if the studying starts bothering me. Don’t worry.” She kissed you gently and then took the notes and put them down before walking with you to the table.

“I am the luckiest person in the world.” You told her, shyness surfacing at realizing that this brilliant human loved you just as much as you loved her.

“I feel the same way, tesoro.”

Studying became a lot easier for you when you started running through your notes and explaining everything to Vic, practically tutoring her about your upcoming exam. At one point she had even brought in her bass, playing melodies here and there after you’d agreed to the occasional song treat.

Two days before your exam there was going to be a concert and Vic saw how anxious you were getting the closer the clock ticked to exam time.

“I won’t be mad if you don’t come to the show but I still think that you can use the night off.”

You hid your face in her neck, holding her close and trying to ground yourself.

“I am worried I’ll fail.”

“You’ve practically turned me into an expert on the matter, what do you mean you’re going to fail?”

You smiled and kept holding her.

“A night off with you sounds magical.” You told her as a way of confirming that you’d go to her concert.

“I’ll play for you all night.” She promised and kissed you very gently.

You took your notes with you and ran through them while the band was rehearsing and when they walked back to the green room, Vic gave you a teasing and slightly disapproving look at the fact that you were still working despite the decision that you’d take the night off.

“Can I take a look at those?” Ethan asked, moving closer to you to look at the notes. You passed them to him and Vic went in to hug you.

The boys all huddled up around the notes and started going through them.

“This is complex.” Thomas scratched his head.

“Gives me a headache.” Damiano added.

“I like it.” Ethan smiled.

“How about we do an exam competition?” Vic offered. You knew that she had little to no enthusiasm about academia and still, her offer made your heart flutter.

“Okay, let’s do it.” You sat down next to your girlfriend as Damiano picked up a pen and paper, Ethan organized the notes quickly and Thomas got the timer ready.

“You got 45 seconds for each question, whoever gets the least amount of points is buying us dinner.”

“Deal.” Vic and you replied at the same time.

And so the competition started and both you and Vic got a lot of the questions right - she corrected you where you got it wrong (and Ethan corrected when you both got it wrong), and you corrected her when she got something wrong.

“One final deciding point.” Ethan announced at the last sheet of paper before firing the question.

Both you and Vic’s hands shot up, you looked at each other laughing and you realized that your friends had made revisions fun despite their busyness.

“Go ahead.” You gestured for Vic to talk.

You could see a faint blush creep up on her cheek and your heart filled with joy as she nailed one of the most complex questions on the curriculum.

“Anything to add?” Ethan asked, noticing that your gaze hadn’t moved from Vic.

“I love you.” You kissed Vic, ignoring Ethan’s question and making the boys laugh.

“I love you too, and I am sure you will absolutely kill this exam.”

“Thank you for being the best study buddy.”

“My pleasure. I’m still dedicating tonight to you. And once the exam is over, you and I will celebrate.”

“We won’t say no to a celebration either.” Thomas joked.

“I guess dinner is still on me then.” You smiled at all of them.

The anxiety eased a bit, replaced by the feeling of joy that you had such good people showing up for you and believing in you and your dreams.

---

taglist: @queendorkula @moonlight-simp @oro-e-diamanti @tempobrucera @maneskings @iosonoarina @unaballerinascalza @hiraetheral @ilwiwbysmv @bieberhoodforever @vita-thrasher @ethaneskin @theimpossiblehologramtree @dubist-immerinmeinengedanken @immrbrightsideeee @butkutee @soficide @8iunie @ventvnni @sarcastic-sourwolf @dpaccione @elvirabelle @cuzimitaliano @daddydamiano @shehaddreamstoo @iamtashaquinn @alexxavicry @inloveppp @tnu-ree @bigsimpsimp @ccweasley

#maneskin #vic de angelis #thomas raggi #ethan torchio #damiano david #victoria de angelis #vic de angelis x you #vic de angelis x reader #vic de angelis blurb #vic de angelis fanfic

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1-800-simping · 2 years

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your couple pics with måneskin

warnings: none! (let me know if i missed any)

victoria:

thomas:

damiano:

ethan:

a/n: none of these pics are mine! i found them off the internet so all creds go to the owners!!

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tempobrucera · 2 years

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My Partners Know About Each Other

Pairing: Thomas x Reader x Vic Description: You are in love. Thomas is in love. Vic is in love. It all could be so easy if you would all understand what you want and from who. Wordcount: 9.7k Warnings: Some fluff, some angst, some smut (threesome), polyamoury

Add yourself to my taglist. / Masterlist

.#####.

It's summer, just before the festival season starts. The bar is loud, people craming into a space that's way too small to be comfortable. Music. People talking, screaming, singing. Bass that vibrates through Victoria's body. And Thomas laughing next to her, a little bit too close, wine glass in hand, bangs hanging into his eyes, his cheeks light pink. Maybe she's staring, but she was already staring when he was dancing with you ten minutes ago. And five minutes ago when he went to the bar, his eyes darting around to look for you and now that he's looking down at her.

"Do you think she's into …"

Victoria looks at Thomas.

"Do you think she's into …"

Thomas looks at Victoria.

"What?" Thomas asks.

"I wanted to ask if you think she is into girls."

"Oh."

"What did you want to ask?"

"I wanted to ask if you think she's maybe into … me."

"Oh."

They both laugh. They still laugh when you're taking the wine glass out of Thomas' hand, questioning look on your face. But they don't share, it's their little moment, you're used to it. To them. They don't talk about it, it's just between them, but something changed - Victoria knows. Thomas only blinks at her when she presses her lips to his.

.#####.

Thomas can never say no to a party. He especially can't say no to a party when Vic is asking him to join. In most countries, in most cities, after most of the festivals they play all summer, Vic will look at him and he will just nod. And if she's too tired, looking at him and shaking her head, he'll still go out and dance the night away - people laughing how his long limbs are flying around. He doesn't care and he has too much energy, adrenaline spiking through his body. Talking to people he has never seen and will never see again. Here a drink and there a drink. More people. More dancing. Some touches here and there - some innocent, some not so much. His lips on someone elses. But in the end, he still ends up in his own bed every time - Vic cuddled under his blanket already sometimes. Her arm sneaking around his waist and instead of the adrenaline it's Vic's bodyheat that's travelling through his body.

"Did you have fun?"

"Hmmmm."

"Are you drunk?" She would ask and laugh against his neck.

"Hmmmmm."

She would laugh a little bit more and then breath Goodnight against his neck. Thomas would pick up his phone, to say Goodnight to you, via text or via voice message. Vic sometimes laughing a goodnight into his phone as well. He doesn't know when he started this, he just knows it has become his - your - little ritual, Vic sometimes wiggling her eyebrows at him. There will always be a good morning from you whenever you wake up. He also doesn't know how this with Vic started. He just knows that the cuddling is more. Vic's lips are on his more often now. She's in his bed more, even when they have their own. Thomas doesn't know how it started but he knows that something changed. They always were close. Always going to party, they never had a problem to be close with each other, or Vic to touch him, strolling through cities they never been to together. But their closeness changed in such way it makes Thomas head spin, him dizzy and he doesn't know where all this feeling is coming from or what it means. And then there's always you, even when Vic is next to him, there's always you in the back of his head. It confuses him even more. It's a feeling he can't explain.

Thomas isn't complaining. He enjoys every second of it - only his thoughts can't keep up with his heart that's racing too fast in his chest. When they are going out for lunch together, or for dinner alone. When Vic posts a picture of him and captions it date night - it makes his heart skip a beat. When they have drinks in their hands, are dancing, and Vic tiptoes to sing into his ear. When they gaze into the night sky together. When they are at the beach, watching the sunset, he cuddled up in Vic's arms - when he sees that she's taking a picture and how she's sending it to you. A picture of the sunset, a picture of him in her arms. When Vic shows him your answer and she smiles at him. There's always Vic, and always you.

He loves that you have gotten more comfortable with Vic. That Vic got more comfortable around you as well. How you text and talk and dance when the opportunity is there. He loves to see how much you love each other. His heart gets so close to exploding everytime, and so embarrassedly heavy, when he sees you two together. There's that feeling in his chest he just can't get rid off anymore.

.#####.

One afternoon Vic is chosing Ethan over him when he wants to pick her up for lunch and a trip to something local he wants to see. It stings, he isn't jealous, it's Ethan after all, but something isn't sitting quite right with him. Maybe it's the fact that they agreed to this days ago, maybe it's the fact that Vic knew how anxious he was the last couple of days, maybe it's because he feels like a second choice for a moment, maybe it's the thought that Vic isn't thinking about him the same. He scolds himself then, they're best friends. Nothing more - his feelings are just stupid.

"I thought you're enjoying the city?", you say when he calls you, "With Vic?"

"No, she decided to fuck off with Ethan."

"Sorry." Your answer is short, Thomas notices. Short and not like you would usually react. He realises that you might feel like a second choice too, and he feels sorry. It's not what he intended to do and he makes a note in his phone.

"But who cares?" He says and laughs. "I wanted to call you anyways. More time just for you and me."

.#####.

Vic has a talent to find girls that look just like you everywhere she steps. Thomas noticed it a while ago. The first time just after the conversation they had, and since then he sees it - he can't unsee it. He sees them dance with her and all his brain manages to do is to think how much he wants to see you dance with Vic. How your bodies would work together. That maybe one of you would invite him in.

Another party, another girl.

"He could join us," Vic suggests.

The girl giggles and puts her hand on his arm, stroking over his skin: "Oh, how exciting. I wouldn't say no to a real dick either."

Thomas feels how his cheeks are heating up, he's sure he looks like an overripe cherry. His head and his heart say no, his dick says yes. It's definitely interested, bulging his jeans so quickly, it's almost embarrassing. Vic's hand under his shirt isn't helping, she's scratching over the sensitive skin of his belly. He moans, in a room full of people, just like that. Vic grins, while the girl bets her eyelashes at him.

"And?"

He's ready to explode when there's a thigh between his legs putting pressure on his groin. Ready to give in and say yes. But it isn't right, it doesn't feel right, there's something off. It hits him that the constellation of people is wrong, that he's enjoying whatever Vic is doing to him but that the girl playing with the button of his jeans and making heart eyes at him should be you - and not just look like you, not whatever random girl Vic pulled for the night. The alarm bell in his head is ringing so loud, it takes him a second to make out what Victoria is saying.

"Thomas, your phone is ringing."

In the end his only saving grace is you calling. Crying.

"Hey, hey, hey," he says over the loud music of the club, "Breath."

He mouths a sorry in Vic's direction. And then he's escaping the music, four warm hands ripping him apart and Vic's gaze.

"I didn't know who else to call."

It's still haunting him, that sentence. Despite his non-violent and pretty chill nature, he swears that he'll punch the guy in the face when he's back.

"He just didn't go away and …" Thomas can hear how you burst into sobs. His heart is heavy in his chest. His ass almost ends up on a plane that night, he wants to hold you, he doesn't care about the rest. But in the end it's you who tells him not to do it.

"No, I tell you," he says to Damiano the next morning over coffee, "I'll punch that guy so hard."

"Sure." Damiano rolls his eyes at him. "And then you're all over the news in Italy, or what?"

He clenches his teeth: "I don't care."

It's not like anyone cares anyways, he's sure. He isn't the one ending up in the gossip headlines every week even when Vic and him are testing how long they can kiss without suffocating in a crowded place - that's still Damiano.

Vic isn't anywhere. They have an interview in about two hours, it's not like her to be late. He is, but Vic always makes it on time somehow. He's between, she's probably doing round two or three or four with the girl she pulled and being worried. When she isn't there ten minutes later, he goes to find her. There's shuffling behind the door, only Vic in the room - her eyes are swollen.

"Did you cry?"

She only nods and clings to him when he puts his arms around her. At least one person he can hold.

.#####.

Can you come over? I need your help with something.

Thomas stares at the text, it's the middle of the night and he can't imagine what his help is needed for. He's tired as well, he almost fell asleep over a Youtube video of three guys melting thousand chocolate bars into one a few minutes ago. His brain can't keep up anymore with anything tonight - still he gets his keycard and Vic's. She gave him the spare one after checking in.

He isn't afraid to use it but he almost turns around slamming the door shut again when he sees Vic in her bed, the sheets crumpled and her naked. Vic is faster, telling him to come closer. And he does, he just obliges until he ends up next to her in bed. He doesn't know what's expected of him, he's blushing.

"That's cute." Vic puts a hand on his cheek, moans. "And hot."

He can hear the buzzing sound of the toy she's using on herself.

"What …" He clears his throat. "What do you even need me for?"

"Just don't want to be alone when I cum."

He whimpers slightly when she pulls his hair. She isn't alone, Thomas lets her look at him until she calms down completely again minutes later.

"What did you think about?"

"Her."

Thomas doesn't need to hear more, he knows exactly what Vic means. But still, he's here and also thinks about you. Of the three of you together. He doesn't know why he can't shake the thought. It's not lust, not really, not only. He feels like a freak.

.#####.

"What is going on between you and Vic?" Ethan asks a few days later.

"Nothing?"

Ethan raises an eyebrow: "Sure. I have eyes, Thomas."

"I'm confused, okay?"

"Okay. So what are you confused about?"

"We are making out."

"Cool." Thomas just stares back at him. "It's not like it's the first time, right?"

Thomas wants to strangle him for bringing it up. He definitely wasn't sober when he told Ethan that Vic was his first kiss. She insisted and who was he to say no. They were both stupid teenagers drunk on the bottle of alcohol Thomas stole out of his dad's shelf just to look cooler than he was.

"We were 15, that hardly counts, does it?"

"What's the issue here, Maso?" Ethan tries again. "Then you're making out, so what?"

"I'm in love with someone else."

Ethan raises an eyebrow again, isn't saying anything.

"So is she."

The eyebrow raises a little higher.

"It's the same person."

Ethan's eyes go big for a few seconds and then he laughs. He just sits there and laughs at Thomas.

"Why the fuck is that so funny?"

"Let me recap this?" Ethan is gasping for air a little. "You both figured out that you are into the same person and then started making out with each other?"

"Yes?" Thomas doesn't understand what's so funny about his misery.

"You're both fucked up stupid," Ethan tells him. "Did you tell the other girl?"

"No. And why do you think it's a gi-" It's not like Ethan to make an assumption like that.

"Sorry, but with both of you it would be stupid to assume that anything else than a pussy is involved."

Thomas even has to laugh a little bit at that before he gets serious again: "Do you think I can be in love with two people?"

"Oh Thomas," he looks at him, "Welcome to the world of unconventional love, I guess. Took you a while."

He isn't quite sure what Ethan means but the conversation puts him at ease. When he's laying down in bed late at night, he's opening Google. He feels a little bit stupid bringing his question there.

Can you be in love with 2 people

Google is autofilling it for him after the first few words already and his hurt jumps a little bit. Okay, so he's on the right path. He skips through definitions of polyamoury and polygamy and goes into a rabbit hole until he can't concentrate on the words he's reading anymore. But his mind is still racing, so he switches to Youtube. He's watching a video about Woodturning but halfway through he puts polyamoury into the searchbar. He's fascinated but it isn't giving him what he needs. He needs something different, something more.

A few evenings later, he's laying on a couch in some backstage, he can't remember where they are, smoking. The Youtube algorithm seems to do him a favour this evening. There's different videos in his recommended ones, like "Our Three-Way Relationship Is A Beautiful Thing" and "Here's What This Throuple Wants You To Know About Polyamory". He clicks on a few of them, his heart races when he sees people talk how they love each other equally, how it works, everything. He soaks everything up. The feeling and the tingle reaches even his toes. He craves this, it's exactly what he wants. He doesn't know how he got here. From never have had a threesome - not for the lack of trying on his part, but it never worked in one way or another, to falling in love with two people and wanting them both.

"You're welcome." Ethan says next to him. And Thomas jumps, his phone ending up between the cushions of the couch, his cigarette almost falling out of his mouth.

.#####.

Against all odds, you make it for one festival weekend. Thomas is so happy to see you that he jumps at you, wrapping his long legs around your body which almost has you loose your balance. Vic standing next to both of you, laughing and filming.

"A wild Thomas appeared."

You do have your own room but you end up in Thomas' anyways. Together with Vic. Thomas makes sure of it. It doesn't matter that he's high or maybe it makes it better, or maybe his feelings are intensified because of it. It's all he wanted for months.

His face is buried at your shoulder and one of his arms is around Vic's waist. You're closer to sleep than to being awake somewhere between them.

"I love you." Thomas whispers against your sweater.

Minutes go by. Until Vic whispers as well.

"I love you too," she yawns. "And him."

Thomas thinks it was the weed the next morning.

.#####.

"How stupid are they?" Damiano asks Ethan one evening when Thomas and Victoria are out and about.

Ethan sighs and shakes his head.

"That stupid?"

"You can't even imagine how stupid all three of them are," Ethan sighs again, "Not one brain cell to be seen, or at least the understanding that they all love each other equally and that they have to do something about it. Especially Thomas, like he gets it, but he's so incredibly stupid, Dami, it's almost astonishing."

Damiano giggles. Then he goes back to stirring his tea, while Ethan goes back to reading his book.

.#####.

Thomas turns up in front of your door unexpected. They did tell you that they are back before going on tour in the group chat you have with Vic and him but nothing else. It was even a little bit disappointing, but you got it. They were tired, jet-legged from too many different timezones and exhausted from countless festivals and parties they went to.

"You're coming with me." He smiles at you. "Pack your bag."

There are some dark circles under his eyes but there's a sparkle in his eyes.

"What?" You ask confused.

"Pack your bag, young lady." He claps his hands together. "We are going away."

"And what do I have to pack?"

"Just some summer clothes and whatever you need for a few days."

"Where's Vic?"

It's unlike Thomas to just show up to your doorstep, even more unlikely to do it without Vic. From the beginning you could see that these two had a connection that was special. You were never jealous about it, but it made you think you would never have a chance with Thomas. Or with Vic. It always would be them against the world, and that's okay - maybe that was lying to yourself but it didn't change anything in the end. Thomas draw you in with making you laugh in any situation, wrapping his arms around you and humming into your ear, when he was looking at you, you felt like you could fight everything and you thought that's how Vic is allowed to feel every second. That's how it started - you thought they shared everything and a bed already anyways. And then you started looking at Vic from a different angle. How she made you feel when she was stroking your arms, how silly and free she could be and how serious when she had to, the beautiful noise when she laughed. And that Thomas had it all. You are confused that she isn't here.

"Home," he says. "I guess."

You don't say anything. He bites his lips nervously.

"It was supposed to be only for you. But we can pick her up if you want me to."

"Yes."

The drive is quiet, but it's never awkward silence. Music coming from the speakers, Thomas driving and your head against the cooled down glass of the window. Thomas has the window down on his side, it's still warm outside. You yawn, it's 2:48 - the middle of the night.

Vic opens in the door, wrapped into a fluffy towel, her hair wet and her lips swollen like they look when you make out with someone for some amount of time.

"Vic?" There's a woman's voice coming from behind her. "Who's there?"

"Friends." Vic shouts back and then she looks at you two. "What do you want?"

"We are going on a roadtrip." Thomas says and ignores Vic's furrowed brows. "And you're coming with us."

"Am I?"

"Yes." Thomas and you say at the same time.

"You expect to kick out the best fuck I had in a while to go along with your dumb ideas?"

Thomas bites his lips again but he says yes with so much confidence that Vic tiptoes a little bit and kisses him on the lips. The shock on the woman's face who is showing up behind Vic almost has you giggle but you don't when you feel how Thomas grabs your hand.

"Uhm?"

Vic lets go of Thomas' face and turns back to her: "Sorry, it was fun, but you have to leave. I'm going on a roadtrip."

It's weird when you go back down to the car after Vic packed her stuff and closed the door behind her. Vic is talking, chewing on a gum, everything is normal. But the girl next to her eyeing Thomas and you for the whole way down is making you uncomfortable. You don't even notice that Thomas is still holding your hand or that Vic has her arm wrapped around his waist. Thomas looks at you and rolls his eyes a little bit, you smile at him, it puts you at ease.

You take your seat next to Thomas in the front, while Vic is getting comfortable on the backseats.

"Thank you," Vic says just before you fall asleep, "For taking me with you and for saving me from that person. The sex was amazing, but god she was annoying bugging me for a date."

Thomas looks at her through the rearview mirror: "That's a problem?"

"Not what I want," Vic says, "Or who I want, you should know. I have other plans."

She sticks her tongue out to Thomas. This time he really rolls his eyes but he smiles at her. Your heart jumps a little bit, they might not notice but you love being part of the little moments they share with each other.

You fall asleep and when you wake up again, Vic is sleeping stretched out in the back of the car. It's slowly getting light outside again. Slight panic raises in your chest when you realise that Thomas isn't in his seat and you almost jump out of yours when the door is opening.

"Sorry," he whispers, making sure not to wake Vic. "Run out of fuel. You need anything?"

You shake your head. You're tired, you still can't think really straight. Thomas gets you a coffee and something to eat anyways, keeping a bag for Vic when she's waking up. At first you don't know why he's not driving anywhere until the sun rises and he sighs next to you.

"Really?" You slap his arm. "I have to watch a sunrise with you from a gas station?"

"You don't have to," he looks away, "you can also close your eyes."

Your eyes stay open, if you could you would lean your head against his shoulder - you lean it against the window instead. Thomas hand ends up on your thigh, in the rearview mirror you can see Vic smile at him and at you but when she sees that you're watching her, she closes her eyes quickly.

Later when you're half asleep again, you can hear them whisper or maybe it's a dream. You can hear how Vic boxes his shoulder, how he huffs out an Victoria, I'm driving and how she chuckles.

"You're an idiot."

"Huh?" He sounds confused.

"A romantic idiot, but an idiot nonetheless," she says.

You can even hear that he smiles: "Just wanted to watch the sun."

"I know, I had to watch so many sunsets with you this summer."

"Yes, and you will have to watch some more with me this year."

"And is your hand also wandering around my thigh then?" She laughs.

He hums happily, you can hear the satisfaction: "Maybe."

You wake up abruptly when the car stops and hurls you forward a little.

"Here's nothing." Vic grimaces when she looks out the window.

There's only sand, the sea. Some birds, grass and the dunes. It's endless. There are some cars parking already, some people lounging in the sun. All three of you are carrying your bags until Vic dumps her bag on Thomas.

"Hey, I'm not your packinghorse."

"You also said this is a roadtrip," she complains, "Not a fucking hiking trip."

He just stalks away without a word, Vic and you looking at each other shrugging - but you still follow him. Until you end up in front of a tiny house that's hidden in the dunes.

"Better," he asks.

Vic and you smile, first at each other, then at Thomas. Who smiles back, before he dumps Vic's bag on her feet and she jumps into your arms before it hits them for real.

.#####.

During the days you drive around coastal towns, walking small cobbled streets and drinking wine in tiny restaurants. Getting wine drunk in the sun, Thomas and Vic always next to you. In the evening, you come back to the house, playing cards and a bizarre game that they made up during their first tour and show you how to play. They trust you, you realize. They trust you to be silly around you. They trust you to be intimidate around you. They trust you, to kiss your forehead and to share a bed with you. They trust you enough.

One evening while you cook, you can see Thomas and Vic on the couch, napping together. Hugging each other. Thomas has his arms wrapped around her waist. There's still no jealousy when you look at them. It just makes you love them more when you see the love they for each other. You enjoy to see how Thomas is snoozing, how Vic is drooling into his shirt.

More often than not you fall asleep in one bed together. After a day of walking, exploring. After a day at the beach. After watching the sunset. After you spent a day in Thomas' shirt and Vic spends the day after it in it. The bed is too small for all three of you and more often than not your limbs are tangled together. Thomas head in your lap, your head on Vic's shoulder, Vic's fingers twirling strands of Thomas' hair. It's feet everywhere, an elbow in your ribs, and Thomas almost falling out of the bed countless times - until he ends up on the floor.

"Bigger bed next time," Vic says next to you, cuddles closer and falls asleep before Thomas even makes it up again.

One night Vic finds a scrabble game and a dictionary in one of the cabinets of the house. You can see how much it takes to convince Thomas to play. Only after a few drinks he lets himself being talked into it.

"Only words that are in the dictionary," Vic says and you nod, but Thomas pouts.

It works until the last round when Thomas looks at you both, smiles and puts his little tiles on the board. He looks at Vic expectantly to count his points. Vic and you both look at the board and then at Thomas. You sigh and stick your hand out to get the dictionary from Vic.

"What?" Thomas asks.

"This isn't a word Thomas." Vic rolls her eyes. "That's zero points for you."

"But …," Thomas looks at you. "But that's how I feel when I have you two with me."

You squint at the board again, Vic looks at the board then at you before she finds her voice again: "Thomas, this is gibberish. It sounds like you have a stroke, not like a word."

Thomas doesn't say anything but he takes defeat when Vic gives the tiles back to him. He does look sad, you can't see it, so you have a look at his tiles and he smiles at you while Victoria shakes her head. After looking at the board, you make sweethearts out of your sweet and the loverboy Vic made out of love earlier becomes loverboys and all his tiles are gone.

"If you cheat again," she sighs but still counts his points, "You're kicked out of this polycule."

He blinks at her, blushes and pouts. So do you, you pout at her.

"She won by the way," Vic says on the way to get more wine, "The game and the pouting."

You think, you see him googling polycule but he hides his phone so quickly when he sees you looking, you can't be sure. Still, you see the blush deepening high on his cheeks. You don't ask.

A few days later you almost cry when it's all over and Thomas is driving you back home. Vic on the backseats again. You already miss the boardgames, their banter, the warmth and them.

"We have something for you," Thomas says when you're standing in front of your door.

It's a plush toy, a giraffe you can see after closer inspection.

"I named it Thomas," Vic says, "because he has a giraffe neck and a giraffe personality."

"Yeah," Thomas says theatrically, "We won it at a fair, I couldn't find and win anything tiny enough to call it Vic, except an ant and guess who wasn't happy with that?"

Vic whacks his head, but she hands you the giraffe smiling. You kiss him on the cheek and once again, you don't want to let them go.

"Thank you." Vic presses her lips to yours first, then Thomas presses his to yours right after. Your heart skips one too many beats in your chest. "We have to do this again."

.#####.

Vic has the feeling she turns over in her own bed only once and then they are on tour. In the US, for the first time, it doesn't feel real. What also doesn't feel real, is her passport she can't find when they land in Mexico. Thomas looks at her when she's looking through her pockets, and then her bag. He's drumming his fingers against the desk he's standing at, she just shrugs. And then ends up somewhere where she didn't think she would end up today.

If she would have her phone, she would text him. And you. She would write in your groupchat, make a joke and hope that you would both laugh. At least she knows that Thomas can text you, and she hopes he does, she can just sit there and wait.

Thomas is making fun of her later, but even then Vic knows that he was worried. She can see it in the little things, she always sees it in those small things when it comes to Thomas. The telltale signs that give him away. He can call her a dumbass, joking in front of everyone, all he wants, she can see that he was stressed. His nails and his lips are bitten more than usual. His hands shake slightly different when he puts a cigarette between his lips and lights it. He hugs her closer. There's a text from you only for her that says that Thomas called and told you. And he's guiding her to his room without her asking for it. They fall asleep tangled in each other. Vic nuzzling her face into Thomas' neck, she presses little kisses to his skin, it makes her sleepy. So does it when Thomas caresses her back with his hands and his cold feet are entangled with her legs.

"I was worried about you." He says the next morning when they both just opened their eyes.

"I know." She kisses his forehead, down his nose, until she reaches his lips. Vic's phone is interrupting, vibrating on the nightstand.

Thom said everything is okay again. Break a leg! You'll rock it.

She smiles. It's nice to have you thinking about her as well. Even without Thomas, texting only her. Texting him only, texting them together.

.#####.

Hi from Thom

She texts you after their Seattle show. Vic feels electrified, even with the jetleg, and she knows Thomas feels the same, he's bouncing up and down beside her. The video she sends is from the show, it's Thomas and her, scissoring on stage. You probably just woke up, she thinks and hopes that she looks hot enough. That Thomas looks hot enough, that they both look hot enough.

There's photos more often. She takes more photos of Thomas to send them to you, some selfies, some of them together. But there's always Thomas. Thomas at lunch with her, Thomas with Ethan, Thomas at the beach, Thomas driving, Thomas with a drink, Thomas playing guitar, Thomas dancing, Thomas and her in the pool, Thomas Thomas Thomas.

One afternoon she manages to take a sneaky photo of Thomas while he is signing something for a fan. His hair is tosled, he looks tired - he is tired Vic knows - but has the biggest smile on his face, cigarette in hand. Vic sends it to you, Damiano is looking at her, raising an eyebrow.

The other afternoon Thomas and her are sitting in yet another backstage and she goes through old photos on her phone. There are old photos of them together. One of the photos exceptionally unfavourable for him, Vic shows it to him while laughing loudly. And then she sends this one to you as well, under loud protest from Thomas, he even kicks her legs.

.#####.

Ethan joins them for a party one night. Thomas is already slightly drunk when Vic goes to get them new drinks. She doesn't wants to eavesdrop, she really doesn't but she can't help herself. Her curiosity is stronger.

"I don't have time to unpack any of that," Thomas says.

"Thom, you have to unpack all of that. This isn't healthy." Ethan sighs. "You're clever, but you're close to an identity crisis. You really have to unpack all that, and what you want."

Thomas waves at her when she sees her, the conversation is over for Thomas with that.

At an even later hour, Vic pulls out her phone. It isn't her initial plan, she had no plan at all to begin with, but when Thomas shows up next to her, she video calls you. To Victoria's surprise you even pick up. Thomas has a party hat on his head, she doesn't know where it came from.

"Hi party girls," you say smiling.

First she thinks that Thomas is going to blow you a kiss, but he leans forward close to her phone, and closer, and even closer until his lips touch the screen. She knows he went from slightly drunk to drunk, he tumbles a bit next to her. Victoria can hear you laugh, Thomas satisfied purr and then Thomas kisses her. Usually it's her kissing him, it takes her a second to kiss him back. Vic can see you blushing and she feels satisfied, both of you looking at her with this gaze in your eyes.

A few nights later, Thomas comes to her rescue. The whole night she danced with another girl, she knows that she looks like you. But there's this guy she can't shake off. He's there when she dances, when she kisses the girl, when she goes to get another drink, when she talks to Thomas.

"Leave her alone," Thomas says the next time she comes around to him and the guy is once again only a few steps away. "She isn't interested."

Victoria hates it. That he has to speak for her, that everything she did on her own didn't work to get rid of him. But even Thomas' words don't seem to impress him, he just stares back at him. Vic knows that there's something about that night when you called crying and Thomas texted her I'm flying back. He loses his patience more easily now when guys are hanging around too long, when they don't get a hint, when they ignore what she says. But it isn't like he behaves like she needs him, she doesn't - not for this, and he knows.

"She's mine." Thomas says confidentely, wrapping his arms around her and Victoria takes the invitation, hiding her face on his chest. "And now piss off."

.#####.

Thomas face is almost too cute to ignore when he looks at her after she said that Ethan and her watched his solo, as they do so many times. She's all too aware of the camera, why she isn't leaning down down to him, instead constantly stroking his arm. She can see how Ethan is watching them.

Later Ethan pulls her aside. Kind of she almost waited for it, she knew it would come some day.

"What's going on between you and Thomas?"

"Nothing." It's not the truth but it isn't a lie either.

"Victoria," he scoffs at her, "I'm not stupid, you're pining for him."

"I am not," she gets out. She sounds offended even to her own ears, "I'm not pining for Thom. He's my friend, Ethan."

"Yeah, a friend you fuck." Ethan rolls his eyes.

"We … we … don't fuck."

"Okay," he sighs, "But you do have something, right?"

Vic nods, she knows she can't hide it. She's surprised that she got away with it for so long.

"Do you want more?"

"Yes," now it's her sighing, "But it's more complicated than that."

"You should tell the girl. Thomas too and then you can go from there."

For a second Vic is confused, but only for a second: "You already talked with him."

.#####.

Tour is almost over. You're feeling silly, almost stupid, for counting the days until they're back. It's not long anymore. You text everyday, with Vic, with Thomas, with them. But you crave one of their hugs and a night cuddled close together, Thomas reading from a book Vic bought.

There's a picture from a plane. It shows Vic and Thomas, both of them sleeping. How Vic managed to get one of her legs on Thomas' seat, his head on her leg. Ethan sent it to you.

Here, your boyfriend and your girlfriend.

You blush furiously. You wish that would be the case, but it's only that, a wish.

Can we talk?

"What's going on with Thomas, Vic and you?" He asks a few hours later when he calls.

"Nothing." As much as you want the answer to be something else, there's nothing.

"Okay," he almost sounds annoyed, "You three really deserve each other."

"I don't know what you're talking about," you say - no less annoyed, "They fuck, or something, what does that have to do with me?"

"They don't," Ethan is calmer again, "And you love them both. It took me a while but I remembered the festival in the summer, and it's you."

"Yeah, but where do I fit into this?"

"Between them." You splutter your water all over yourself. Ethan snorts. "Or Thomas between you two, I don't know. Whatever you are into, I guess. You're all so sure of each other, and still you're idiots."

And then he hangs up.

.#####.

It's not long until New Years' Eve when Thomas and Vic bang on your door. You just fell asleep, your orientation has you almost ran into the door and then into Vic when you open the door and the glaring light of the corridor is blending you.

"Oh," Thomas looks at you - at the giraffe in your arms. "Cute, you sleep with the stuffed animal I won you?"

"Yes," it's only a little bit embarrassing, "It's my second pillow."

Another roadtrip. Colder than during the summer. And this time it's you on the backseats, trying falling back to sleep. Vic looks out of the window and you can see how she takes Thomas' hand that isn't on the steering wheel into hers. You smile. But Thomas is shaking it off when he sees your gaze, not only to your surprise and shock, also to Victoria's.

"So I'm allowed to kiss you and hug you?" Vic asks, but she doesn't look at Thomas. "But I can't hold your hand?"

"Vic, it's not … it's not like that."

"No? How is it then, Thomas? Tell me."

There's no answer, his eyes fixated on the street ahead. No word spoken anymore for the rest of the drive. You want to hold Thomas' hand, he looks miserable. But you also want to hold Vic's, who's looking out the window, with balled fists. Thomas does grab your hand for a few seconds, squeezes it and lets go again.

"Who's sharing?" Thomas asks when you reach the destination, and the house. You're somewhere in the mountains, snow all around you.

"You two can share," you tell them but Vic shakes her head.

"No, you two should share. I'm sleeping alone." And then she's gone. She's not coming for dinner when you knock on her door later. She isn't joining when Thomas and you are going outside strolling down narrow alleys filled with lights or when Thomas and you warm up with mulled wine and doing a jigsaw puzzle. It isn't the same without Vic, she doesn't answer to your texts either. She sends you away the next time you knock on her door.

Thomas and you are sharing a bed. How you often did, but always with Vic. The bed feels too big and even with Thomas close enough, it's not warm enough without her. Thomas scoots closer to you when he sees how you shiver. None of you is filling the silence, Thomas puts on a Youtube video - This Is Your Brain On Shrooms. But you find the recommendations you can see on his laptop more interesting and you change to one of those videos when he's climbing out of bed to turn the heating up. You can see him swallow when he comes back and looks at the laptop. He isn't saying anything - bites his lip and hugs you close.

"Thomas," you whisper against his chest, "Your recs are full with videos like that."

He stops breathing, before his breath goes faster.

"Thom?"

"Do you think I'm a freak?"

You take his hand, hug him closer: "No. You're not a freak, you are not, okay."

"Do you think Vic thinks I'm a freak?"

"She doesn't." He finally looks at you. "You aren't a freak, neither is Vic, neither am I. Whatever people say, you aren't a freak, Thom."

"Thank you."

"I thought the same," you tell him, "but there's nothing bad about it."

He presses his mouth to yours and when you lick over his lips he willingly opens them for you. He's heavily breathing after you break away to gasp for air. You kiss for a long time after that, you have waited for it. Maybe you do fit in, just like Vic and Thomas do. Only soft kisses, some of them with tongue, and Thomas' cold fingertips that find their way under your shirt that belongs to him.

The next morning Thomas stops Vic to go back to her room when she sees you two. He takes her hand and isn't letting go: "I'm sorry. I'm just so confused."

"Me too," she says, "I'm confused too, and it hurt."

"We kissed," Thomas says when you're all sitting around the table.

"You kissed before?" She looks at both of you, and she's right. Technically, you did, but not like this. This is why you get up, lean down and Vic is opening her lips for you as willingly as Thomas was the night before. "Oh, you mean like that."

Thomas is still holding Vic's hand.

.#####.

A full day of sledding. You're surprised that no one broke their necks or hands or legs or anything in-between. A whole day of laughter, small touches, everyone falling of the sled at least once. Thomas putting snow into the back of Vic's jacket and throwing a snowball directly into your face. For a moment you think it broke your nose. You can hear how Vic scolds him next to you. When the pain subsides you take your revenge before he knows it's coming and put snow down his pants.

"COLD!" He screams. "Hey, I still need what's in there."

Vic and you both laugh.

When you're back, you're warming up in the bathtub together. It's just big enough for the three of you. There's Vic's hands on your shoulders and your boobs. Your hands in Thomas hair, who's happily sighing. His hands trailing up Vic's thighs and his lips on your collarbone. You stay in the water until it's almost cold.

When you're wrapped up in blankets in front of the crackling fire place, Thomas gives Vic and you both some oddly wrapped presents - you instantly know that he wrapped them himself.

"I got you both something," he says almost shyly. "Ethan the fucker didn't get me anything and then I realized that I do want to give you something."

"But …," you gulp, "I also have nothing for you."

"Neither have I," Vic admits.

"It's okay, I don't want anything." Vic and you look at each other. "He said, I have to earn my present, what the fuck? I should have used that fancy book I got him to smack him."

Vic unwraps hers first, it's a stack of paper and she looks at him annoyed until she has a closer look: "That was a joke Thomas."

"I know, but you know … you can visit it," he smiles, "I mean, … we could visit it. But it's yours."

"Thank you," she says excited, "I now officially own an adopted reindeer. Which I can visit, yes?"

"Yes!"

Vic jumps into his arms, kissing him on the cheek before she kisses his lips while you unwrap your present. It's a photoalbum, pictures of the three of you, there's little scribbled notes on some pages. And there's a tiny box with a necklace in it. It's lock shaped as a heart but there are two keys instead of one. There's a V, a T and your initial engraved on the back of the lock.

"Where's my necklace?"

You know it's a joke but you put the necklace around her neck: "We can share." You know it'll be around her neck as much as it'll be around yours or around Thomas'.

"I wanted to give you something because we are always away." He hugs you from behind.

.#####.

It's New Years Eve, the three of you are still in bed by midday. It's all lazy and slow. Thomas pulling you closer but not opening his, still half asleep. Vic placing kisses on your neck, on your shoulders, your ears. Thomas lazily kissing your face.

"Don't want to get up," he whispers.

Thomas looks like the prettiest mess an hour later when Vic and you let go off him. Hot lips pressed to even hotter skin. Vic leaving hickeys on Thomas' thighs, you nibbling on his stomach, then on his neck. Thomas gasping, and moaning, and whimpering, until he asks you to stop. His eyes are closed, his breathing goes shakily.

You're getting slowly out of bed, getting ready for a party Vic and Thomas want to take you too. When you're all ready and you're already searching for the keys in Thomas' and Vic's very own chaos, Thomas holds you back.

"Wait, how are we doing this with the New Year's kiss tonight?"

Vic kisses you, then you kiss Thomas, Thomas kisses Vic.

"Like this?" She asks. "Or maybe … more like this."

She pulls both of you really close, Thomas has to lean down. Her mouth is open and she's poking her tongue out, her nose is bumping into yours - so is Thomas' one when he comes even closer. You can feel Vic's lips against yours slightly, Thomas' stubble. And both their tongues when you stick yours out as well. It's thrilling, it's arousing - having both of them this close, being able to taste both of them. You moan slightly when Vic licks over your tongue and even louder when Thomas does the same and lets his tongue wander a little bit deeper into your mouth. When you break the kiss, you can see that it hasn't left Thomas unaffected.

"Those jeans got ridiculously tight on you," Vic laughs into Thomas' direction.

"Maybe we should practice this some more," you say. You can see that Vic's cheeks are rosy and her breathing faster. "In bed, perhaps."

"Such a shame I didn't pack my strap," Vic says and winks at Thomas, who's deeply blushing, and then at you, "but I would love to get out of these clothes again."

Thomas is gently pressing against you from behind before Vic takes both your hands to take you back to where you were getting ready mere minutes ago. There are kisses pressed to your neck, Thomas licking your skin, sucking a hickey into it. Vic opening the zipper that's on the side of your dress. All before you make it back to the bed - your mind is racing and it can't keep up with your hands which found their way under Vic's transparent shirt. And then you're pushed on to the bed, Thomas next to you, Vic towering over both of you.

"I…," the blush from earlier is still on Thomas' cheeks, "Just as a disclaimer: I have never done this … Like with three -"

Vic interrupts him by pressing her lips to his, just this little bit longer, it makes your head spin and lust pool low in your stomach: "That's okay, honey," she says and then looks over to you, "You ever had a threesome?"

You shake your head.

"Cool," Vic laughs against Thomas' throat and you can see him shiver, "That makes me the only one, but we'll start easy."

"How does th-"

"… this work?"

Thomas laughs - a laugh that turns into a moan when Vic pinches his nipple.

"You two could fuck," she suggests, "And before that we could start with undressing each other."

"What about you?" you ask her. And now her hand is on your cheek. Thomas hums in agreement.

"Watching is participating," Vic tells you. "And I'm sure, you will be able to pleasure me as well. I want to see you both naked first, preferably now."

With that she pulls Thomas closer to herself with his belt buckle. She opens it, opens the zipper, Thomas breath hitching. Vic is sitting between his legs, his head ends up in your lap - he throws his head around when you start opening the buttons of his shirt, you can only moan when he presses his lips to your stomach, there's still the fabric of your dress between his lips and your skin but it's already overwhelming. Just after you opened the last button of his shirt, Vic presses her lips to his happy trail. The noise Thomas makes isn't quite a moan or a whimper, it's something better - and it makes you wet. You're sure Thomas knows, can smell you. His shirt flies off the bed first. It isn't taking Vic long and his pants are following. It takes a bit of coordination, shuffling around, a bit of laughter but Vic and you switch positions while Thomas gets rid of his shoes and his socks.

You want to tease but as soon as your fingers dip under the waistband of his briefs you can't. It's another item of clothing that's thrown of the bed. He's hard, you can see how his grip on Vic's thighs tighten. She licks her lips. He's beautiful naked, laying between you. You blow over the shaft slightly, lick over the tip of his cock a few times, to see how he reacts. You aren't being disappointed. He throws his head, groans, tries to keep you there with his hands but you move up, over his stomach, his chest, until you reach his lips.

And the next second all the attention is on Vic. In contrast to Thomas, she is helping you with opening the ridiculous amounts of buttons her skirt possesses. While Thomas frees her from her shirt. There's no bra and after you take off her thights, you can see that there's no panties either to your surprise, but not to Thomas'.

Both of them are naked when they put their hands to work on your body. If everything before was overwhelming, this is shattering. Thomas takes advantage of Vic's earlier work and lets his hand dip into your dress. In the end you aren't sure anymore who of them gets you to raise up your arms, who lifts your dress, but it also leaves the bed not even seconds later. You do know that Vic is pulling down your thights together with your wet panties, you can hear her sweetly coughing into your ear and Thomas has his hand on your boobs, gently massaging them, slowly going down on you. You almost kick his chest, his shoulder, but Vic is holding your leg. And then she's holding your legs open for him. You whimper, you moan, you almost forget to breath. Both of them have to hold you down - Thomas your hips, Vic grabbing your legs.

A hint of a touch is what Thomas gives you with his tongue. The tip of his tongue licking through your folds, slowly pressing it against your clit. You bury your hands in his hair, throwing your head back. There's Vic kissing you passionately, and then Thomas kissing and licking and biting all over your body until he reaches your lips.

"Lube?" He whispers against your lips but you know he's talking to Vic. Who seems to be giving him the item in question because you can feel two of Thomas' wet and cold fingers between your legs, and then in you, a few moments later. Your breathing is rough and everytime you try to fuck yourself more onto Thomas' fingers, Vic is there and holds you back.

When he hits that one spot in you, you yank his hair and he screams. It's so loud it startles even Vic before she laughs. But he's the one asking if you're okay and then he pulls out his fingers and the next thrust it's not his fingers, it's his dick. Slowly, he's slow when he pushes into you, Vic having one hand in his hair and one hand playing with one of your nipples.

"You can be a bit rougher if you want."

"Oh, is that how you like it?" Vic whispers into your ear.

Thomas doesn't even wait for an answer. Picking up speed, his thrusts getting harder - deeper, his fingernails digging into your skin. Hard, and harsher. He's so harsh with you, how you like it, how you want him to be in the moment, that you moan so loudly that Vic has to cover your mouth with her hand until you only whimper. You don't know where up or where down is.

Then Vic is leaning over you, first she is gentle, sucking on your nipples, licking over them, touching your boobs softly before she's rougher. Scratching over them. You suck on Vic's nipple when she starts doing it. One of your hands on her neck, the other hand on her other boob. Thomas nails digging even more into your skin. And then Vic leaves a bitemark on your boob. It hurts. You can hear how Thomas moans. You know that he's looking at you, at Vic - at Vic and you. It's what gets him off and the realization has you whimper against Vic's body, the necklace Thomas' gave to you dangling from her neck - brushing your skin, and you cum.

Thomas pulls out of you, slowly again. Vic sitting up, a spark in her eyes. And then he cums all over your lower stomach, moaning and shaking. His breathing so irregular, and loud, for a second you're worried he's going to pass out. But then he smiles at you, kisses you first and Vic just after before you kiss her.

"And you?" You ask her.

"You could eat me out," she grins, "Both of you. And then round two."

.#####.

"Any regrets?" Vic asks.

Thomas and you both shake your heads. Vic and Thomas both left marks all over your body. You left marks on their skin and they left marks on each other. You don't regret anything.

"So, we fucked into the new year," Vic tells you when she throws her phone away again, "Good that I cooled a bottle of champagne. Sorry no party today, Thom."

"I'm my own party," he laughs and Vic and you laugh with him, before she gets out of bed.

Thomas and you are entangled with each other, still naked, when Vic comes back. She pops the bottle of champagne right in bed, she didn't bother to bring glasses.

The bottle is between Thomas' legs when Vic talks again: "We need some toys."

"What?" Thomas looks at her, there's some kind of shock in his face.

"Yes," she says firmly, "I can have you every day, but she can't when we are away and I have some ideas for some remote vibrator stuff we can try and some more things because some people here apparently like it rough."

She smirks at you - you grin back.

Thomas who just took a sip from the bottles, slightly coughs, the champagne dripping down his chin. You lean over to him to lick it away and he moans.

"That could be fun," you tell him.

Vic hugs him from behind: "Round three?"

.#####.

It's only a few days before Thomas' birthday when Ethan comes over to Thomas' place uninvited. You're half naked, Thomas already lost his jeans and Vic didn't have much clothes on to begin with. At least that's what Thomas tells Ethan when he still opens the door for him.

"So?" Ethan looks at all three of you from the armchair he's sitting on.

"So?" Thomas parrots him and Vic laughs, you stiffle your laugh hiding your face at Thomas' shoulder.

Ethan only shakes his head, rolls his eyes, but he gets something out of the pocket of his jeans. It's small, it's wrapped and has a ribbon bow around it. It looks tiny in Ethan's hand and in Thomas'.

"I think, you deserve this."

Thomas struggles a tiny bit, his hands shaking and then he laughs when he sees it. It catches Vic's and your interest in the item. The item that he's pinning to his shirt. It's a little pin.

yes, my partners do know about each other

Vic smiles at you: "Yes, we do."

"We do," you smile back.

And then you both kiss Thomas on his cheeks.

.#####.

END.

.#####.

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