#vi is like the stereotypical butch lesbian

[insomaniacat]

shes so hot

i think the only woman i would become lesbian for is sevika

[caitlynxviolet]

sometimes it's really nice and appreciated when the butch/masc female character actually is overtly lesbian and not just the protagonist's friend or the character who doesn't care about romance. she can just be a lesbian and that's okay.

[lunaathorne]

Thank you for the articulate and empathetic response. I was not trying to make a callout post, and I'm happy to know you realised the implications of the phrasing of Ma being explicitly "femme", as correlated to her moral compass.

I am a masc trans sapphic and as you know even the queer/sapphic communities on tumblr and twitter are extremely weird about us. There is often an unspoken implication in a lot of lesbian literature, making us to be the hypermasculine brawn to petite, compassionate femme sapphics.

There is also a weird notion of butches and mascs being the bodyguard, the lapdog, the protector and all sorts of aggressive and "manly" stereotypes which rely on the parochial image of the unhinged fighter butch– violent, poorly-groomed, who needs her steady femme girlfriend to give her a braincell. Ref: the head canons of couples like Vi and Cait, Korra and Asami.

As it was, I feel protective over Zhu's character, not in the sense that she is a "misunderstood" good guy, not at all, but in the sense that she is one of the few agender stone sapphics I have found in literature, and the way she is treated by the fandom (and dare I say, the writer at times) is a bit disheartening. It's important to me that she is a complete character in her own right. Obviously, she is changed for the better by Ma, but I want people to look at Ma's compassion, not at her delicate femininity. The fandom already lacks nuance with people crying in Goodreads about how the duology is bad trans rep. Again this is not me arguing with you, because you clearly meant it in good faith. This is mostly me tired of Tumblr butchphobia and transandrophobia.

the takeaway that Ma is the best and most morally superior character in SWBTS not because she is a compassionate person who sees the corrupting influences of power but because *checks notes and tumblr tag* she is "most in touch with her feminine side" is so hilariously reductive to me when the themes of gender complexity, fluidity and presentation all but form the meat and bones of this duology (written by a nonbinary author btw) and Parker-Chan is literally on their KNEES begging us to investigate how gender can sometimes be informed by the way society ostracizes some individuals.

can we please not impose weird binary essentialist takes on this series? I know the fandom has a misogyny problem esp in certain aspects of their representation and discussion of Zhu and Ma, but the answer does not lie in "waaaa femme cis sapphic good and trans/agender characters bad!!!"

[ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity]

This might be dumb but what does femme mean? I've heard it and now I'm afraid to ask because I feel like everyone else knows

Hi there! Femme is an identity in the community that has a lot of history in bar and ballroom culture. It’s the counterpart and complement to butch. Plenty of subgroups within the community use fem(me)/butch identity, not just sapphics, and each comes with their own flavor. Edit: the subgroups that have historically used butch/femme include—but are not limited to—gay men, straight trans/nonbinary people, other trans/nonbinary people, etc.. For me, when I was trying to figure it out myself, the fact that femmes do not have to ascribe to any minimum amount of femininity as far as how straight people (especially straight men) view it was really freeing (especially since I am gnc and trans/enby). Instead, being femme became an expression of my own sense of femininity catered for myself, but also for other sapphics, especially for butches. 

(Edit: while I say straight people/men, the focus is on cis straight people/men for the above named reason).

Now, just because I--and other femmes--might have feminine qualities, that does not mean that we’re the same kind of feminine that a straight woman would be. I forget where I saw it, but I saw someone say that butch is the rejection of societal expectations, and femme is the subversion of them. I might wear makeup or a dress, but I don’t do it quite “right”, and I often don’t wear either of those things. 

Moreover, femmes in the sapphic community do not have the same kind of expectations because stereotypical notions of femininity don’t determine whether someone is femme or not. Between my butch fiancée and I, for example, I’m the outspoken one who can change a tire, fix a leaky pipe, clean the gutters, etc., and that doesn’t make me any less femme, because not doing those things is not what makes someone femme.  Instead of being defined by what I can’t do, being femme means I can take what I want from femininity and re-purpose it to fit me. Men don’t factor into it at all, because it decentralizes men. It’s an expression of joy in myself, in my being sapphic (for me specifically, being a lesbian), and of joy in my relationship (community-wise and personally) with butches vis a vis that dichotomy. 

Hope that helps!

-Mod Ama

[artificialqueens]

Cradle Ch.4 (Thorgy × Violet and Trixya by Vanguard)

Thank you to the Anon that asked about my story. I REALLY hope that the formatting behaves!

Part 4 Katya woke up with a jolt and looked around. He had no fucking clue where he was. He sat up and looked around. Instead of being in his bland white hotel room, he was in a room with shades of oranges and browns in a giant bed with a mountain of soft pillows. He also had a pair of flannel paw-printed pajamas on.

Then the truth of yesterday and what happened to Violet hit him like a punch in the gut. Like he normally did when there were bad feelings, he looked for a distraction which came in the form of padding out of the room in his barefeet and following the aroma of coffee and bacon.

He still couldn’t remember where he was. He turned off the hall into the kitchen to see Lee, the girl from last night, sitting at the small scrubwood table, reading the newspaper with a somewhat serious look on her face. She looked up at the sound of the floor creaking and gave Katya a small smile.

She got up and bustled in the kitchen for a moment before thrusting a plate of bacon, eggs and toast with the largest mug of coffee he had ever seen into his hands.

He sunk down into a chair beside her at the table and realized just how ravenously hungry he really was. The last time he’d eaten was about 18 hours ago so as much as his stomach was churning, he tucked into his breakfast.

“I’m sorry, you must have been so confused when you woke up! I just couldn’t bear for you to go back to a cold hotel room in your state. I hope that is ok?”

Katya nodded, his mouth too full of egg and toast to speak. Lee gave him a moment, looking nervous like he was going to be angry that she had given him shelter when he was upset instead of being abandoned to fend for himself at a hotel.

“It’s ok, thank you. When do you have to work today?” Katya was going to the hospital today but he didn’t know if she was in a rush to leave. He didn’t want to make her late.

“I actually took the day off, I don’t want you to be alone and you will only be able to visit Violet for 10 minutes per hour in the ICU so I thought it would be good for you to have company when you aren’t visiting them. I would be surprised if they weren’t in the ICU with their leg alone. Actually I work there so I might be able to get you a bit more time with them. I have connections.” She joked and then became serious, “Sorry, this probably isn’t the time for joking.”

Katya shook his head, “no, actually now is a good time for joking. If I didn’t joke when things were serious, I would just be crying nonstop. I have to call my boyfriend before we go. Also, nice pajamas.” he said, pulling the collar of his PJs up.

Her laugh was musical, “You were freezing so I lent you a pair of warm PJs, you said you didn’t want to go back into your room at the hotel because you and Violet were sharing a room.”

“Oh yeah,” Katya whispered, faintly remembering the conversation, at least he changed on his own this time.

“I think I have a few pairs of men’s jeans and some polo shirts if you don’t want to go to the hotel. I am a stereotypical lesbian sometimes, I’m so butch.” She joked, holding her arms away from her tall yet feminine frame.

Katya let out a little snort of laughter, “that would be great if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind, later I’ll sell ‘em on ebay.” She teased. “I’ll go see what I have and throw it on the bed. There is a shower off the bedroom.”

“Ok.”

She left and Katya pushed his plate away, resting his elbows on the table and leaning his chin on his hands.

Last night was the most horrible night of his life, even worse than withdrawals when he first came off of drugs because it was happening to someone he cared about instead of himself. He couldn’t control the suffering someone else he cared for was feeling.

He remembered rushing into the hospital with Lee who probably broke the speed limit and A LOT of traffic laws on the way. She told him to sit and she went up to an information desk. She was speaking to the man behind desk for what felt like forever.

She was pale when she came back, and sat beside me, “So I may have told the guy that you were Violet’s brother because he’s new. Violet went into surgery for their leg and they are still running tests because they are concerned about a possible spinal cord injury.”

“Oh no! OH NO!” Katya burst into tears. Lee rubbed his back and he turned and hugged her and cried on her shoulder.

“Shhh I’m so sorry Katya, we can go up to the ICU when you feel ready. That is probably the best way to get notified when they wake up from surgery. If they know we are there, we will get updates.”

They had waited for 3 and a half hours before they suggested that we come back in the morning. By then it was 4:30 in the morning. Between the drive to Lee’s and getting into bed was a blur.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” He muttered as he got up and reached his hand blindly around in his drag bag, he totally forgot to send a goodnight text!! Sure enough there were 4 texts and 5 missed calls.

Trixie: Hey babe! Just finished the show here.

Trixie: Is it cold in Canada? It’s nice and warm in Brazil so haha!

Trixie: Goodnight Brian, I hope you are ok! You must have been tired so I hope you are sleeping well. You realize you broke our 400 day goodnight message streak right? You’re soooo gonna pay for that!

Then this morning there was:

Trixie: Are you there? Are you ok? Please let me know.

He listened through all of the messages, Trixie getting more panicked every time he called.

He was just about to call when Lee came up behind him and said “there are a few different choices on the bed but I don’t mind swinging by the hotel.” Katya jumped at the sound of her voice, “Oh shit sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!!”

“It’s ok!” Katya brushed it off, “I’m gonna make a call in the bedroom and then have a shower if it’s ok.”

“Sure, there are towels on the bed and feel free to use whatever in the bathroom.”

Katya put his hand on her shoulder as she turned around, “Thank you Lee. I think you are the first angel I’ve ever met.”

“Daww you are sweet! I’m glad to help!”

Katya swerved off of the hallway and into the bedroom, dialing without even looking at the phone.

“Hey Brian, it’s Brian!” Trixie answered cheerfully, a stupid corny greeting they thought was funny, because they were both stupid and corny together.

“Hi Brian, it’s Brian.” Katya said back half-heartedly.

“What’s wrong baby?” Trixie said, immediately concerned. He should have known that the only reason he hadn’t called or texted goodnight was because something bad had happened. Trixie’s mind went into overdrive. “Did you hurt yourself? Did you break your sobriety?” He hated to ask that question but he had know that Kat had had a bit of a rough spot at one point after Rupaul’s Best Friend Race.

Katya sat down on the bed and burst into tears.

“Aww babe, what’s wrong? Please tell me.” Trixie could feel the tears welling in his eyes at the sound of his beloved in such anguish. “Whatever it is, I will help you fix it.”

“It’s Vi, they had an accident.”

“Oh my God! Are they ok?” Obviously they weren’t if Katya was sobbing that hard.

Trixie could barely understand him, he heard “Violet….fell…doing aerials….really hurt….I don’t know…what to…do..”

“Brian, take a deep breath. Remember? In…1…2…3. Out…1…2…3…4…5…6.”

It took about 5 minutes til Katya wasn’t crying so hard that Trixie couldn’t understand him.

“Sorry.” Katya mumbled.

“Hey. You know you don’t have to apologize to me for being upset or anxious EVER right? I still mean it.”

“I know, I’m sor….” Katya took a shaky breath, “I think I can tell you now.”

Trixie sat down in the chair in his hotel room, he felt like he was gonna need it.

“Ok so, um, Violet was doing their aerials routine and you know the trick they do at the end where they drop?”

“The one that scares the shit out of me. Right?” Trixie asked.

“Yeah, that one. I don’t know if it was the way the fabric was hooked in or if they..if something happened with them but they fell from almost the top of the ceiling of the venue.”

“Oh my God!” Trixie said again, glad he was sitting.

“Yeah.” Katya said shakily. “So one of the fabric pieces fell down and I didn’t know what I was gonna find when I was pulling it off.” Katya was talking faster and faster, like he was trying to exorcise the memory out of his mind. “This nurse Lee was there and we didn’t move them and the ambulance came and took her and Thorgy to the hospital in two ambulances. Acid went with Thorgy but Violet was all alone.”

“Wait what? What happened with Thorgy?” Trixie asked, confused.

“Thorgy and Violet are DATING and I think he was in shock or something.”

“Thorgy and Vi eh? What an odd couple!”

“Don’t tell anyone! I would have had no idea if I hadn’t walked in on them kissing.”

“Ok so, what happened next?”

“Well I had Violet’s blood all over me because I was holding onto them.” Trixie felt a shiver go up his spine at the image in his head. “And I was shaking so hard, and so this nurse named Lee who happened to be at the show helped me change and then we went to the hospital.”

“Ok, what happened next?” Trixie coaxed after a minute or two of silence and crying from the other end.

“We got to the hospital and Lee said I was Violet’s brother so we could get information. Violet was in surgery so..”

“Wait. I’m lost. Why were they in surgery?”

“They broke their thigh bone very badly, their bone was sticking out of their skin and so they needed to put pins or screws or something in it.”

Trixie’s stomach lurched at the gory image in his head.

“Fuuucckkk! Did the surgery go well?”

“I don’t know, we waited for a really long time, 3 and a half hours before they told us that we should go home. I didn’t want to go back to the hotel and see all of Violet’s things so Lee let me stay here at her house. But I haven’t told you the worst of it.”

“There is more?” Trixie felt like he had molten iron in his stomach, heavy, boiling hot, angry and painful. He could hear Katya weeping again.

“They think that Vi might have a spinal cord injury.”

That’s when the molten lava in Trixie’s stomach decided it would like out NOW. He barely made it to the bathroom in time, his phone crashing to the floor as he hugged the cold porcelain.  

“Trixie? Trix? Brian!” He heard Katya calling from his phone but it was too far to reach.

Katya heard Trixie throwing up and wished he was there to hug him and rub his back.

“Ugghh sorry.” Trixie said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry, it’s horrible news to get over the phone, plus if it makes you feel any better, I barfed all over the stage last night.”

“Of course it doesn’t make me feel any better! I’m so sorry hun.”

“Me too. I am sorry but I have to get dressed so we can go see how they are.”

“Please keep me updated!” Trixie pleaded. “Do you need me to call your manager to get some time off?”

“Yeah that would be great. I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“OF course you haven’t! That is the least of your worries. How long? I’ll text you when I know my flight details too.” Trixie said, writing himself a note on the hotel stationery.

“I don’t want you to cut your trip short. I will be ok!! I mean, I miss you but I don’t want you to lose out on gigs to come here and sit in some cold ICU waiting room with me.”

“I want to, I don’t want you to be alone and as much as Violet is a little bitch, they’re a lovable little bitch and one of my good friends. I want to be there for you AND for them. Ok?” Trixie said firmly, knowing that Katya would try to argue.

“Ok.” he said in the smallest little voice that broke Trixie’s heart.

“I will let you go but I will call or text when I have more information and you answer whenever you can ok? No trips outside just to check your phone. And you tell,” Trixie’s chin quivered and his voice got husky, “you tell Violet to hang in there ok? You tell them to…” He floundered for a moment, he wasn’t equipped to deal with a situation like this. Was anyone though? “Stay strong ok? You too. I love you so much and I will see you really soon ok?”

“I love you too. I’ll see you soon and hey Trix?”

“Mmhmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For understanding just how much I need you to be with me right now without me having to say it outloud. You always seem to know and I love that about you.”

“I love that you need me.” Trixie said in a broken whisper.

“Always. I will ALWAYS need you moya golubchik!” Katya reassured him.

“I love it when you talk Russian to me. What did you call me this time? A turtle? Rat dropping?” Trixie asked with a hint of humour in his voice.

“My little dove.”

“Aww I like that one! Ok you go! Call or text me when you can and I will do the same ok?”

“Ok, I love you.”

“I love you too, so much!”

Katya took the quickest shower of his life and managed to find a pair of jeans that were a tiny bit loose and a purple polo shirt.  

Lee was dressed when he came out of the bedroom and they hopped in her slightly beat up red Prius as they drove the few blocks there in relative silence while Katya’s brain ran rampant. They got up the the ICU and Lee steered him to a chair where he felt like he waited forever.

Lee eventually turned and beckoned him forward. He searched her face for a moment for clues as to what she was about to say but her facial expression was unreadable. He was going in blind, he wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and stood up slowly.

“Here we go into the unknown.” He thought and gulped and followed Lee into the ICU and uncertainty.