#veryveryramblings.org

[fairypilled]

I have the irresistible compulsion to make literary allusions - A psychological horror story

So, I have been thinking about it, and while at best it has been vaguely implied by the uncanny interactions some of you have had with me or worse still those who know me....”Know me”.....*proceeds to know me*, I have an absolute infatuation with the dynamics of storytelling to the point where against my knowledge but not my will I interact with the world and seek to change to things in my own life into something resembling a narrative. Protagonists, good vs. Evil, metaphors, and fan service galore. And....people somewhat notice that. I pride myself on being at the very least ambiguously interesting, and I thrive on being a spectacle. I live for performance, for every moment to be filled with drama and meaning, for a every moment to be infinity complex and at the same time so utterly a simple as only a chapter of a story can be. One direction, one story, one hero on a quest against the universe itself. I think, in a way, this may be connected to another little character detail I have, namely OCD. 

Now, understand I mean this entirely in my own personal context, and I am great at internalizing things, so I have been told, but I guess to help cope I romanticize my OCD tendencies. At least in my own experience, OCD makes seemingly random things suddenly have immense importance, and things out of place be inherently evil or impure. While this can be quite the bother, at the same time, it forces you to constantly justify these obsessions to yourself, invent stories, and over come them in your own terms. I am so accustomed to fantasy and things slightly ajar from the reality other people inhabit that its almost just the way I see things at this point. I think it might of helped me to accept who I am, and to see a beauty in the chaos I so often find myself surrounded in with no possible way to convey it to other people. To believe that the world loves stories, loves giving things purpose, and above all else, loves those who embrace the Story and reject the insidious tendrils of nihilism or acceptance of the mundane. 

God this sounds pretentious, a sign of great things....I don’t know, also a good sign 

[fairypilled]

I am giving in to the Dark Side

Is it bad that I constantly feel the call of vengeance motivating me to an disconcertingly large extent because I was blocked by a blog related to the Sandverse without rhyme nor reason 5+ months ago? Maybe this is just an enlightened state of existence. Anyways, when I become your God Queen of this hellscape you shall know why. We all stand before Meevs in the end, and your sins cannot be blocked.