#very very tired from irl woes and such

[timethehobo]

Quick 2am shippy doodle cos I need em.

[moe-broey]

Also making a separate appreciation post for Moe GRISPING HIM. READY TO ATTACK. LUNGE and KILL‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

And Alfonse doesn't even flinch, he just goes

And braces for impact.

Also also ADDITIONAL APPRECIATION. FOR

Woulgh.

Was just gonna tag ramble BUT. NO. MAIN POST. I'm SUCH A FAN of the faces here. Moe's delayed reaction time, or just. Having really neutral reactions to getting scuffed up or the like. Autism creature. COMBINED with Alfonse's overt panic and instant like REFLEXIVE instinct to catch Moe. LIKE REALLY REALLY FUN pose in general!!!!! But ALSO. THEY'RE SO. EXPLODES 💥💥💥💥💥

[dear-ao3]

well good day to all of you. i have a tale. a classified, certified absolute god tier disaster of a tale.

at the ripe hour of 6:45 am i was awoken from my slumber by a Noise. what sort of noise? you might be asking.

the sort of noise that usually accompanies my father getting up at the ass crack of dawn and trying not to turn on the tap loudly so that he doesnt wake us up.

for one blissful moment i thought that i was at home, in my bed, and all was right with the world.

and then i remembered that i live approximately four hours away from my parents and all is not right with the world.

so i did what any person would do. waited for the noise to go away.

but it did not.

so i investigated. in all my bleary eyed glory.

and found that my bathroom ceiling light was pissing.

not just a little either.

a severe, unauthorized amount of water was streaming out of my bathroom light fixture.

so after banging on katyas door and finding a bucket and throwing on a sweatshirt i dragged my tired ass down to the front desk and reported the tea as it were.

now one thing you need to know about our building is that it is old. the second thing you need to know about our building is that the maitenance guys (we call them the boys) are absolutely incredible, like tumblr funny guy posts but irl, however they take for fucking ever to respond to any situation.

this time though, nothing was in clear danger of exploding or lighting on fire. so we made some breakfast. drank some coffee. watched the bucket that we had put in the bathroom fill up with water. and we waited.

and waited.

and waited some more.

then i noticed that if you stepped on some of our kitchen floor tiles they started squelching.

so back downstairs i went and explained the tea as it were once again.

and let it be known, that i worked for two very solid and very miserable years as a resident assistant in college. i know all about the woes of people complaining to you to fix things that you cannot fix and you cannot tell them when it will be fixed because the person who needs to do the fixing is otherwise indisposed. so my general attitude towards this whole situation was "hey man you can't make this better for me and im really not pressed about it as long as someone eventually comes and sorts out my pissing ceiling." which is a great attitude to have in this general situation. and especially so because it was about to get even more strange.

at approximately 9:30am our apartment was graced by the presence of one of the boys. the maintenance man. we will call him james.

we have encountered james before. he delt with our fuse box nearly exploding. that situation was not nearly as chill as this one was.

hes also incredible.

so he comes in and he goes "hey how's it going" and i say "well you know things are just leaking!"

he proceeds to tell us that the fridge in the apartment above us had a connection pipe that froze and exploded some how and that managed to leak all into our apartment. not nearly what i was expecting but hey! at least they know what's going on!

we tell him about the squelching tiles and he says that he will bring us a dehumidifier after he turns off the water and deals with the mess of the fridge above us. we say ok great! this is wonderful!

and he goes to leave the apartment. out of habit i had locked the door when he entered. he goes "aw man did you lock me in?"

and i say

"oh sorry!"

and he pauses.

and he looks at our door in disbelief. perhaps even utter horror.

and this, my lovely audience, is what he was looking at:

surprisingly. he was not staring at the entertainment for man and horse plaque that katya and i found while thrifting. nay. he was staring at the unfortunate combination of the printed photo of lando norris and max verstappens face.

now why are lando norris and ax verstappen on the back of my door? you might be asking. you might even be asking who they are.

and if youve been following the lore of this blog, you might recognize them as formula 1 drivers. lando norris of course being a mclaren driver and max verstappen being the reigning world champion of team red bull.

and how did they wind up on my door? well at christmas katya thought it would be funny to put a picture of lando norris on top of our christmas tree and so we got one printed at cvs but when you get wallet sized photos printed they print you four of them so we ended up with four of the same photo of lando. one went on the tree, one went to my sister, one is in our bathroom and now one is on the back of our door.

as for max. well. katyas partner drinks red bull and he was on the red bull box so we cut him out and stuck him there. neither of us are particularly big max fans, it was just funny.

but anyway. i digress.

james is standing there staring at this array of perplexing stuff and goes.

"really? him??"

and i go

"yeah..." not knowing what else to say.

and james turns. and he looks at us. and he goes. and i shit you the absolute fuck not.

"now what's wrong with lewis hamilton???"

(sir lewis hamilton being the mercedes f1 driver, 7 time world champion and absolute icon)

and katya and i go

"oh no no! we love lewis hamilton! we just respect him too much to put him on the door!"

which is true

and james goes "now what did you think of him going to ferrari?"

and i say "i thought it was an interesting choice"

and katya says "i was surprised."

and james says "you and me both" and then he shuts the door behind him.

katya and i look at eachother. and we both fall to the floor in fits of laughter.

let it be known that james has come face to face with a giant tapestry of mr worldwide mr 305 pitbull himself that is in our bathroom, on several occasions, and yet, he chooses to comment on our choice of formula 1 driver that is taped to the back of our door.

im still in a state of disbelief. my ceiling is still pissing. my floor is still squelching. and my maintenance man felt the need to call our my choice of formula 1 driver at 9:30 on a saturday morning.

[batmanappreciationsociety]

It is I, the great founder of this great society of appreciation of the cat of one Courtney Orchard (or Peet, as it makes use of two last names) who on this day, the 7th of November 2023, a very rainy Tuesday decreed the founding of this very society. It is our duty to uphold the moral fabric of society by spreading the knowledge of the Cat far and wide.

Updoot (9th December 2023): I'm probably gonna only upload memes every second day from now on because while I do like doing this, its kinda exhausting to try and keep up with daily posting (thats why the blog went dark for a long-ass while) and also I have irl stuff to deal with so °-° enjoy what comes out of this

(For the people who don't like pretentious second language fake-ass old English this is a joke blog about pleasetiemyshoes cat Batman. This is all for funzies and also to make the world a better place by being the second Courtney-focusd blog after pleasetiemyshoeoffences took the first place. Now to get back to my pretentious ramblings)

As a secret society we have to uphold a selection of tenents. These are what follows (translation from pretentious: heres dem rulz):

Secrecy. None who offer up fanart or send communications trough the radio waves have to fear their identity being revealed. I make the guarantee that no one contacting me will have their identity revealed to the public if not so desired. (you can send me shit like fanart through dms/asks and if you don't want ur name attached to it I'll post it and source you as an "Anonymous Artist". This applies to everything else you could send to a blog like me. I'm staying anonymous and so can you. You could also pick a pseudonym if so desired.)

Apoliticality. This is a safehaven for lords, ladies and gentlethem tired of the woes created by folks like PZ, LO and the likes of them. This blog is meant for the appreciation of the Cat, not internet dramaturgics. If that is what you desire, seek out the blog of the owner of our object of favour. ( keep LO/PZ or other internet personality stuff out of asks or they won't appear on the damn blog)

Focus. As members of the Batman Appreciation Society we are aware that every cat, not just the Cat, is purrfect. However, here we focus one the one and only Batman. If you desire discussions, photographs or motion pictures of other felines, you can seek out many another digital publication. Sometimes, however, exceptions may be made. (The blog will mainly focus on Batman, no other cat stuff, except if its really good)

Now go forth and enjoy mine publications!

To anyone put off by my pretentiousness dw the blog won't be written like that

[spectraltenkai]

“It’s hard to believe a year has passed since the the theater doors were discovered, yes. While I shall not falter, it truly saddens the soul to hear our general reception was a mess. And yet... you, that’s right, YOU, came along to give us one last show. You have saved not only myself, but the inhabitants and another from pure woe. You gave us a chance to which I am grateful true and through. So please... there is something I must say before you go; 

From the bottom of my-- no, all of our hearts in the Wonderworld Theater-- thank you. For believing in us until the very end.” ------- Yes I am still alive, jut got very busy and tired irl so art has been slow. After three sketches and one better last minute idea, I finally got something made for the BWW first year anniversary. It’s wild to believe a year went by since this game first debuted, and hey, I was admittedly not going to give it much mind after I heard it failed. And yet, the initial reveal trailer in 2019 still stuck with me, and I gave it a chance after I ran into a vid or two about the game itself. Now look at me, I’m a BWW nerd supreme. In all seriousness though, this game’s characters and lore are going to hold a very special place in my heart, as this is one of the few games that no one introduced to me prior. I love it all the way, and words alone are not going to suffice for what this game means to me when you start picking the deeper meanings out. Oh and I put hydrangea and lilies to show that he’s grateful that there are people who love the theater despite its flaws

TLDR; BWW the game may have been a flop but I became a total trash level nerd after learning about the absolutely fun potential this game has, happy anniversary to the thing that has two of my favorite characters in there

[romeshifting]

Reflection

TW: shifting doubts, self-depreciation, religious doubt, parents mention, pandemic mention, panic attack mention

This is just a reflection on how I’ve grown as a person and a kind of vent--it’s not meant to be a judge of anything else. You don’t even have to read it, I just needed to get it off my chest. Hope everyone is having a great day! :]

Oh, and also a response to an anon who asked if there was proof shifting was real--I’ll answer your ask soon with other kind of proof! 

I’ve been trying to shift for about four months now. Since...I want to say the end of August. 

Back then, I wasn’t very spiritual. Sure, I was beginning to explore the wiccan philosophy--but I would eventually drop that because I wanted to focus more on manifestation and meditation--but I really wasn’t sure of my own religion. My parents forced on me the idea that there was no god, but day in and day out I would pray. Pray to what? I didn’t know. Since I was a young child, I asked for signs if there was something out there, anything that could help me...but nothing came. Er, nothing obvious.

For good reason too, I believe. I’ve said this before, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. It’s a cliché, for sure, but if something happens, there’s a cause. So me not finding any higher deity and going on my own path? That’s caused me to learn a lot about myself and my family (/neu), as well as what path I want to take in life. 

Now, I’m much more spiritual, and can confidently say I am pagan and go with the Universe. Even a year ago, I would have called myself weird or insane. Hell, I went into the pandemic thinking I was cis, bisexual, a STEM gal, using she/her pronouns exclusively--now I get pissed when someone calls me a lady and want to move to New York with every ounce of my being.

The point is, I’ve grown. I have new interests, identities, friends (shiftblr!), communities (again, shiftblr), knowledge, and so many other positive things. 

But I also have negative things too. I have a new fear of my parents, a new desperate need for therapy, a fear of talking to my IRL friends because of how much I’ve changed, self-depreciating thoughts that plague me every day (thanks mom and dad /neg) and a new relation to characters who specifically are confident with debilitating poor self-esteem. On that note, I hadn’t had a panic attack before the pandemic--now I can have three and then hide it so well.

And I’ve become so painfully positive! Sure, it brings me people who think my vibes are nice and people who are generally nice to me, but I know someone’s going to eventually turn on me or use me. And I can’t keep up the positive persona; I don’t have the spoons for that! 

I now know myself and what I’m living in, but at the cost of what mental stability I had left. 

That was actually my cause for wanting to shift a few months ago. My first script was horrifyingly real with my friends in it (I would never shift there but there are salvageable pieces), I wrote it all in the span of a few hurried hours locked in my room. And then I tried to shift. I tried every method in the book, then my own method mix, then no method. I joined shifting server after shifting server. 

As I was doing this, I experienced the same symptoms--even now. I always feel numb, I always feel so tired but not able to sleep, I always feel like I’m being pushed down, I always feel so weirdly comfortable, I always felt unable to move when relaxing during the day. But every single time, I always move for many reasons--because I can’t feel my heartrate so I’m worried I’m not going to wake up, because there was an itch on the back of my head, because the numbness was too much for my sensory issues, because my sister had fallen asleep already and began talking, etc. 

Part of me wants to say “I failed” and give up on this, like I’ve given up on so many other things. Could shifting be a passing hyperfixiation? I tried learning how to draw during the summer--I still haven’t finished the course because I gave up on it! I couldn’t delete this blog without getting rid of my sideblogs--but I suppose it wouldn’t be a big deal if I disappeared. Not from life, I’ve learned my lesson there, but online. It wouldn’t be a big deal if I just stopped trying to shift. It’s not like I’m in that deep well of mental woe anymore...it’s more of a river, constantly dragging me away now. I don’t need to shift anymore. 

But despite all of it, I know that shifting is real. How could I explain away the symptoms I feel? How could I explain the scream I heard, the tingling I felt, the tap on my forehead? How could I explain why so many people are interested in it? How could I explain why the government has documents on how to shift? How could I explain why two people have the exact same symptom/experience? How could I explain why more than one person on this site has shifted successfully? 

But most of all, how could I explain this community? Everyone helping each other out, teaching each other new things. How could I explain the forty-or-so shifting accounts I follow? 

I can’t. I can’t explain any of it. That’s proof that at least something about shifting is real. 

I used to be so strict, so “I have to see it to believe it” because of my parent’s teachings. But now I’m actually me. Actually Rome, the guy who realized that his love of analyzing films actually has a use. Actually Rome, the person who managed to cry alone--a great feat for someone who’s never done that before. Actually Rome, who’s created so many good projects and writings. 

And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s not great, it’s certainly not the happiest I’ll ever be, and I can’t call myself actually happy, but...I’m good. I can confidently say that I am alive and living life the best I can--which is more than I can say for 13-year-old me. And I’m turning 16 in a few months!

Things may not be good in my life right now--I’m not free to do much I want to do--but I have a reason to keep going with shifting and with how I’m living life--quite a few, actually! All I need to know is that I am myself, and I’m strong enough to hold out until I can move out, probably when I turn 20 or something (>:/). 

Anyone who’s actually read to this point, I guess thank you? 

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Hi, first of all I really admire how much effort you put in your posts and answers as well as your insight and eye for details. I really could use your help, all the hate Dany gets lately is so tiring and imho unjust. Now even a friend of mine that always loved her started hating on her and I think she just doesn't understand Dany. Do you have some sort of character analysis on your blog or know where I could find one? Thank you in advance.

Wow, thank you! And anon, I could not agree more. Upsettingly, I’m having the same issue with a friend IRL too, having been told “Dany’s always been a brat”.

Regrettably, I haven’t really done much in the way of Dany metas… I’d say I have better luck picking up steam when I get asks, particularly since it gives me a sense of direction (and the influx of asks is a very new thing). Oh, I did write a little meta on her parallels between ancient Mother Goddess Danu!

While the vitriol for our queen is absolutely uncalled for… I have a theory that the way she is framed is actually intentional.

Jon Snow is probably something of a red herring. At least in the way that it’s presumed this story is really all about him ascending to power and coming into his throne. The prince that was promised. Azor Ahai. Rightful heir. All of it.

(That’s not to say he’s unimportant)

But his female counterpart/mirror, inarguably the most powerful character in the series, isn’t taken very seriously by casual fans, her enemies, the Westerosi, etc (she’s referred to as Daenela by some smallfolk, which oddly sounds a whole lot like the name the antis use to disrespect her character - Danielle).

And despite the fact that she and Jon share such similar story arcs (such as getting swept up into a foreign culture and having to adapt to survive) she is often interpreted as mad or verging on evil, even though Jon has shown the same capacity for ruthlessness. In fact, watch their beheading scenes again - Daenerys is trying to make a statement about law and justice, and Jon? He seems more driven by personal vengeance. But they made Janos look so bad that by the time he was begging for mercy, we were rooting for Jon.

Another difference in how they’re perceived is that Jon gets much more compassion when it comes to his childhood. Unlike Daenerys, he was still surrounded by family and had a stable place to call home. Meanwhile, Daenerys ran from city to city with a verbally and physically abusive older brother, and one of their caretakers, Illyrio, had to vigorously fuck a whore so as not to rape Daenerys, basically. I mean gods, what a brat!

In the books, it’s easier to realize Dany isn’t a villain because you get access to her thoughts and intentions. But the show? All we have is Emilia’s face to try to convey things to the audience. And if they don’t match the words she’s saying, it’s completely lost on them. Now, if you’re someone who ignores her past - then yes, in season 8, it probably looks like she’s power hungry, when in reality - her one security, Jon, is slipping away - so she’s reverting back to the one constant she’s had for years. The quest for the throne.

And excuse my language here, but this bitch is really bringing all of her resources up to the north - for nothing but her love for Jon Snow - and no one cares. She’s about to save them from certain death - hell, not just death - but eternal servitude to this creepy ice demon. And they’re bitching about how much food her armies are going to eat. You know, the ones there to die for their ungrateful asses? Anon, I gotta tell you… it’s really hard for me to even wrap my head around the audience response to Dany - or that somehow, it’s okay for Sam to be upset that his monster of a father was killed, but not Dany.

People who are already predisposed to dislike her can’t see the loneliness and vulnerability there, they can’t see she’s feeling lost, perhaps even regretful. They’re fooled by her queenly mask of indifference. The one that disappears when she is alone:

This is another good example. During the war council scene, Sam blatantly shades Dany by saying this:

“That’s what death is, isn’t it? Forgetting. Being forgotten.”

When the words “being forgotten” are said, Daenerys looks at Jon:

Considering the way Jon is ignoring her, it’s amazing that Dany is still there to fight his war. Just another reason none of them deserve her help. Without Jon she has no reason to be there. While everyone is upset that Dany is going to ‘go mad’ and ‘kill Jon’ - he’s been avoiding even looking at her for who knows how long in GoT time, and yet she stays.

And all the antis can say is that she’s “power hungry”. They so much as hear her say the word ‘throne’ and somehow see madness there, ignoring all subtleties of her emotional state. Yet, if Jon were to do a 180 and declare himself king - everyone would root for him, I’m sure of it. If the throne suddenly became a priority for Jon Snow, people would be popping open wine bottles in celebration. No one would call him entitled. No one would say he’s power hungry. No. I bet he’d ‘deserve it’.

It’s important to remember that not only is Daenerys one of GRRM’s favorite characters, he also identifies with her story:

“I came from greatness - like Dany! And I will take back what is mine with Fire and Blood!”

Further, the man’s a feminist (regardless of how he labels himself, now - more or less afraid to step on anyone’s toes by using the term as a man).

I can’t remember who pointed this out, but it’s hysterical to me, now, because in retrospect, it’s almost like he predicted her antis:

“If even half the stories coming back from Slaver’s Bay are true, this child is a monster. They say that she is bloodthirsty, that those who speak against her are impaled on spikes to die lingering deaths. They say she is a sorceress who feeds her dragons on the flesh of newborn babes, an oathbreaker who mocks the gods, breaks truces, threatens envoys, and turns on those who have served her loyally. They say her lust cannot be sated, that she mates with men, women, eunuchs, even dogs and children, and woe betide the lover who fails to satisfy her. She gives her body to men to take their souls in thrall.”

I think GRRM knew exactly what he was doing. Despite the fact he is a man, he’s lived through much uglier times for women, and he’s been aware of the female struggle for a long time. This is his legacy. A female hero with a storyline more powerful than any man in the series, who finds herself in precarious situations and has to make difficult decisions, sometimes exercising ruthlessness to assert her power and dominance.

She’s complicated, she’s unique, we haven’t quite seen the likes of a fictional woman quite like Daenerys.

She will be analyzed and discussed for decades to come - and there may come a point in the future that Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen might be viewed through the same lens. One in which critiques of Jon’s actions might be as harsh as the ones we see of Dany’s now, or that the ones for Dany become as lenient as the ones of Jon, now.

It might be too optimistic of me to think that even D&D know what they’re doing, here - framing Daenerys in a way that is not as easily interpreted by those who are predisposed to misogyny, all in an effort to expose it. And that upon rewatch, the culmination of her hero’s journey becomes clear as day for anyone willing to set aside their preconceived notions and finally see her for what she is.

                            A hero. A savior. A legend.

“That character, as a whole, is all about transformation and change. I feel like she is the divine feminine spirit. She’s there to change things rapidly. I have no doubt that a thousand years from this point, people will worship Daenerys Targaryen. That’ll be a holy name. This is the Mhysa. This is the woman that came and brought back dragons to the world and saved all the slaves.”—IdeasOfIceAndFire

For your final request. I wish I were more organized, anon, but here are the top blogs that come to mind when it comes to incredible Daenerys positivity. These bloggers post amazing metas and analyses, shut down antis left and right, and just generally spread the true word about our queen:

@rainhadaenerys @mhysaofdragons @oadara @khaleesirin @secretlyatargaryen @iheartdandelions @tatticstudio55 @winelover1989

I do have a small list of metas I’ve managed to gather on short notice:

Daenerys Targaryen: Master Post

Meta on the contention of Dany’s arc in feminist analysis

Dany III in ADWD again transitions to Jon & Tyrion

Why saying that Daenerys is nothing without her dragons is offensive

Daenerys - Books vs Show - Sexism and Bad Writing in the show

Daenerys Targaryen and “Madness”

A Dance with Dragons, or: Daenerys Targaryen Cares about Feeding her People

Daenerys doesn’t need to be a villain to be interesting

Arya Stark and Daenerys Targaryen Parallels

Daenerys as an anti-Cinderella?

I’m also a big fan of YouTube for GoT/ASOIAF content, and the few pro-Dany YouTubers who really seem to “get it” are GrayArea (this video, in particular, is amazing despite the misleading title), Lucifer Means Lightbringer and IdeasofIceandFire.

[roguetatertot]

I’ve been playing Stardew Valley lately, and I’ve come to romance all bachelors and bachelorettes in the game. But I can’t decide who I want to marry!!!

My initial plan was to marry Leah, but now that I’ve seen all the candidates’ 10 heart events, I’m in a quandary. I need to break it down for my sanity.

The Bachelors:

Alex

I avoided him at first, seeing as how he was into Haley. I’m not a fan of the jock attitude, and I’m fairly sure the dude’s never read a book in his life before, but I mean.....he’s pretty damn cute. But I feel like he’s still in high school, and me being in my thirties, I feel kinda creepy if I were to choose him.

Elliot

The fact that his hair is prettier than mine was the first turn-off. He struck me as pompous at first, up until the Moonlight Jellies came and he conveyed his dismay over how humans treat the oceans poorly. I was like “OKAY there’s more to him than his hair.” The fact that he’s a writer actually turned me off, but his dedication to his craft is commendable. He’s studious, and hey, he can play piano! Not only that, but the dude actually fixed up a rowboat just to take me out on an ocean date! That’s more than any real man has ever done for me lol

Dr Harvey

SWIPE LEFT ON THAT MUSTACHE. But swipe right on his sweet and caring nature. He’s got his shit together, being a doctor and having his aircraft hobbies. He’s a little dorky, and despite his fear of heights, he hitched up his pants and took me out on a hot air balloon ride (which is something I’ve always wanted to do IRL). But I just can’t get past his sprite!! I really don’t like the way it looks. I mean....LOOK AT IT.

Sam

I can’t say that I’m too into the Super Saiyan look. 15-year-old me would’ve loved the Vash-the-Stampede-esque hair, but 34-year-old me doesn’t exactly dig the skateboarding, “I’m in a band”, still-living-with-my-parents-and-kid-brother vibe. The dude had me sneak in through his window and hide in his bed when his mother came into the room for Yoba’s sake! I’m looking for a spouse, not a manchild!

Sebastian

Oh dear, where do I begin with him. He is an enigma to me. I’m a little too old for his woe-is-me-the-world-sucks bullshit, but I’ll be damned if I don’t find him attractive. I think it’s because he reminds me of Cloud Strife....if Cloud Strife smoked and lived in his mother’s basement, sleeping in until noon. He was actually the last one I maxed out to ten hearts because he was always holed up in his bedroom on the computer all day! I was like GET A JOB.....but come to find out he was actually freelancing that whole time....haha

Shane

Shane....oh Shane......sigh. He and I got off on the wrong foot immediately. It was his birthday, and I ran into him in the saloon, chugging away next to the fireplace. I had a can of Jojo soda in my inventory, so I gifted that to him, thinking HEY THIS DUDE LOOKS THIRSTY BY THE WAY HE’S GUZZLING THAT BEER. Boy was I wroooong. He hated me for giving him “trash” on his birthday. So after getting to know him, I had a soft spot in my heart for this suicidal alcoholic. But.....I’m not here to be anyone’s keeper, or to fix anyone. He’s getting his shit together slowly, sure, but I’m not so certain he’s husband material. HOWEVER. Look how freaking cute he is with his chicken, Charlie.

The Bachelorettes:

Abigail

She was the first person I asked to dance with at the Flower Dance festival, but of course she said no since I had no friendship built up with her. But as I got to know her, I really started to dislike her. Much like Alex and Sam, she strikes me as being in her early teens with her behavior and childish attitude towards her parents so that makes me want to stay far faaaar away from her as a marriage candidate. 

Emily

I found it especially hilarious that during the Stardew Valley fair, she remarks that she always thought she’d make a good clown, because she sure looks like one to me. I don’t know what it is about her....maybe the pale skin and the red lips with blue hair....but she looks ridiculous to me. I like her carefree disposition, and the camping date we went on was adorable....yet I just can’t get past her design.

Haley

Beneath that pretty girl vapid exterior lies.....a pretty girl vapid interior. While the photography date with her was cute, I just don’t find substance in her at all. I was hoping for more with her character development by the time we reached 10 stars. I was very disappointed. I do appreciate her passion for photography, though.

Leah

Ah yes, my girl Leah. She has her shit together more than any other NPC I feel. Here was a woman who lived in a big city with her significant other, but decided to break up due to conflicting goals. She made her way to Stardew Valley, bought her own cottage, and pursued her dream of becoming an artist even though she has trouble paying her bills sometimes. She’s self-sufficient, mature, resourceful, and a go-getter. She is spouse material in my mind. I would totally date her IRL if I could. Plus, she’s a redhead which is an absolute turn-on for me.

Maru

I have tried so hard to like Maru, but much like Abigail, she strikes me as being in her teens or early twenties or something. I feel like a creeper considering her as a marriage candidate. I love her zany ideas and her dedication, but she’s too childlike for my comfort.

Penny

Another gorgeous redhead. I’m so conflicted with Ms Penny, because I want to whisk her away from her alcoholic mother and bad home life, and treat her like a queen on my farm, but I can’t shake the feeling that she would be marrying me for all the wrong reasons. There were a few bits of her dialogue here and there that struck me as desperate. Of course I don’t blame her and I think she would make a wonderful wife, but I feel like she should grow as an individual and make her own way in life before becoming anyone’s housewife. I’d hate to see her go from being her mother’s slave, to being tied down with more of the same domesticity. But I mean, if that’s what she truly wants, then who am I to stop her? 

.......YES I REALIZE SHE’S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. 

I feel like I’ve helped to narrow down my choice through this break down analysis: Bachelors: Harvey or Shane Bachelorettes: Leah or Penny

I find it funny that both Harvey and Leah seem the most put together and stable, while Shane and Penny are sympathy cases/”fixer-uppers.” I think it reflects my current real state of being 34 and tired of dealing with people’s bullshit, of wanting to find someone who’s capable and steady, while also wanting to be that way myself. Then there’s a part of me that I can’t ignore...the truth that I AM a sympathy case currently, but despite that, I also have a sense of wanting to help others as I’ve been helped in my life thus far. 

Who knew this silly little game could be this telling of my own nature? 

.....epiphany aside, I still NEED TO MAKE A CHOICE.

[archionblu]

so here’s that depression/depressing post. This is gonna be a lot of “woe is me my life is hard” bullshit when it’s really not. I’m a white girl being supported by my parents who both love me and are still together and make a lot of money and have me on their very good health insurance which pays for me to have many many competent and caring doctors. I also have two/three loving IRL friends who go out of their way to make sure I feel loved and several internet friends who do the same.

suicidal ideation, self harm, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, chronic health problems, negative self-talk, depression-anxiety-adhd-ptsd, generally not a recommended read

I tried to talk to one of my therapists about this today (yeah, plural, it’s a weird setup) but I didn’t feel like she really got what I was saying, or maybe she did but didn’t take it very seriously because I’m very bad about being open with my feelings

I’ve spent a lot, and I mean a LOT of time recently wishing I didn’t exist. Thinking about (and googling) the most efficient and least painful methods of suicide/dying. My fantasy is falling asleep from carbon monoxide poisoning (I had a friend in college who had that happen to her) and then just....sleep until I suffocate. That’d be the ideal. Because the idea of taking something and not being successful and ending up with even more life long health problems or brain damage because of it is more terrifying than being alive is. Similarly the idea of taking something, failing, and then having my access to my medications restricted for the rest of my life is not worth it. I just....aggressively want to pop out of existence. 

I am doing a part time job that I find alternatingly incredibly stressful and intensely boring. It was listed as an ‘office assistant’ position, but that was a lie. I am a cashier at a ice skating rink/community center. The closest to ‘office work’ I get is printing out receipts and signing people up for classes occasionally.

It’s so hideously spoiled of me, but I don’t want to keep doing this job. I only get a few angry customers, I have mostly nice people coming at me, but those people and the rush (and lines) and the times the machines malfunction or I screw u and having to handle coins and cash and do the change math in my head (the cash register doesn’t tell you how much change they get back) leave me exhausted and emotionally strung out by the end of my shift (which can be as short as 3 hours!). I also seem to struggle with counting the drawer at the end of the night, which just makes me feel useless and stupid because I can’t COUNT ffs. That’s pathetic.

Tomorrow I have a meeting early in the morning to have my boss passive aggressively remind me of the ‘processes and procedures’ because of the several times I’ve fucked up. I know it’s a mind-reading negative cognition, but I feel like all my coworkers think I’m incompetent. That’d be alright if I wasn’t trying at all. But I’m trying so hard to do well, and I’m just not.

I am not doing anything with my life. I am doing a job that the vast majority of people could do (and often do much harder jobs for less pay than I’m getting). I am not contributing anything unique or useful, I am simply a body to fill a seat. 

I go to school, one-to-two classes at a time, to finish an associates degree/certificate for a job I don’t think I can do because of my disabilities. I have no other career plans or aspirations. My ‘goals’ are me making up something to work towards so I don’t feel like I’m a total failure, not anything I’m actually passionate about achieving. 

I take up space and resources in my parents’ lives, and I don’t really contribute much except an overwhelming anxiety about how they’re going to make sure I’m taken care of after they die. My mom brings it up quite often-- about how she wants me to get a job that I can at least mostly support myself with or get disability (which fell through again, btw, for those of you who were following my application process, so I gave up and told the lawyer to drop the case. I’ll just wait until I qualify for the OTHER kind of disability). 

I hate looking in mirrors now. I may have lost 5lbs recently, but I still see the stretchmarks forming, the rolls I have trouble lifting and moving around, the face which looks like it’s set in a basin of lard peering out at the world. I hate leaving the house, because I have to put on clothes, and the only clothes that hide how grotesque my body is make me look like a frumpy granny mormon. (note: I don’t think other fat people are gross, because they have hips and boobs and butts. They have a shape. I have very narrow hips, no butt to speak of, and average sized boobs. I don’t have a shape, so more as a pile of lard propped up on some wobbly unstable legs.) Being depressed about my weight makes me eat more, candy and junkfood and pasta in the dead of night. I am .1 from a diabetic diagnostic in my blood sugar tests.

I fantasize about vivisection and self-mutilation constantly. Imagine cutting myself open down the middle and raking out the fat with my bare hands. Driving a orbitoclast (lobotomy ice pick) through my skull over and over until my brain trickles out of my nose, or sticking it through my eye socket and pinning myself to a wall with it like an insect stuck to a board. Tearing my legs off at the knees or the hip joints (to make the pain stop), popping them out of the socket and cutting them out like you do when taking chicken thighs off a whole chicken. 

I’m so tired of having my own body. So many doctor’s appointments and medications and “I can’t do XYZ” or “I’m disabled” etc. excuses and not being able to do much other than lie in bed and scroll through tumblr. For years, YEARS. I was on a speeding gocart  headed to hell all through highschool and then in 2011 I fell off into the fire and I never really made it back out. 

It doesn’t matter to me that people love me and I’m lovable. I believe people when they say that, but it doesn’t matter. Being lovable or loved doesn’t give me purpose or worth.

I’m too depressed and tired to even keep complaining right now, but yeah. That’s a fraction of what I’m dealing with and feeling right now. Merry Fucking Christmas. 

[shell-senji]

Ultimate Ship Meme for Rihan and Wakana! Pretty please? These two need so much more love and ss cool as Yamabuki Otome is, Wakana is the real MVP in my opinion. Anyone who hides an .45 in her bra and can get a grieving hanyou to fall in love and marry her needs all the love in the world.

Thank you for the ask, and I’m sooooo sorry it took so long! Partly just IRL stuff and also it took me a little while to decide how to handle them. But I agree…Wakana is such a quiet badass (LOVE the .45 scene lol) and we need more of them!

I decided to again do both canon and AU bc…well…reasons (okay bc I’m a glutton for AUs). Under the cut for minor canon spoilers:

General, canon setting:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? till Rihan’s death (I think they were very much in love, but I’m not sure if they were one another’s soul mates. I’m not sure. Can you have two soul mates? lol I honestly haven’t put near as much thought into Rihan or Wakana — @sabinasanfanfic maybe could help me?? LOL)

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Not as fast as Yohime and Nurarihyon…maybe a couple weeks or months?

How was their first kiss? - I bet Wakana kissed him first, and she probably did it to make him smile

[Note: the rest of the questions are for a random AU I thought of and will probably never ever write. Probably non-yokai??? idk. debatable. Wakana is either a bartender or works as a server at a bar that Rihan frequents. You know, drink the woes away since his first love died and all. Wakana is cheerful and optimistic and somehow manages to make him smile (something that does not go unmissed by Rihan’s friend Kubinashi)]

Wedding, bartender AU:

Who proposed? - Rihan, but only until someone points out that hey, you might want to do something to keep someone else from snatching her up. The thought of her with someone else spurs his actions

Who is the best man/men? - Kubinashi

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Kejoro

Who did the most planning? - Wakana

Who stressed the most? - neither 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. ***Note: they wouldn’t care as much about the fanciness of the wedding but would want it to be fun and have all their friends/family there. Nurarihyon would probably throw a massive party, and lord would everyone be shitfaced (except Wakana and Yohime. Wakana bc she can hold her liquor and Yohime bc she doesn’t overindulge).

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - no one?? idk

Sex, AU:

Who is on top? - varies, but quite often Wakana 

Who is the one to instigate things? - more often Rihan, but about equal

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head (though it might vary)

How long do they normally last? - uh…however long it takes/they want?

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - not necessarily by number, but they make sure they both enjoy themselves

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. *It varies. 

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. 

Children, AU:

How many children will they have naturally? - one

How many children will they adopt? - two, twin girls

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Wakana. Rihan gags and she’s just like…Shoo. I don’t want clean up puke too…I get enough of that at work.

Who is the stricter parent? - Neither. They both just want their kids to be happy and healthy. 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -  Wakana might try…half-heartedly… Rihan’s encouraging it, the little shit. Their grandfather would be encouraging it too…

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Wakana, though Rihan would remember to give them lunch money in the event someone forgot to make lunches

Who is the more loved parent? - idk both? i sort of hate this question lol

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Rihan goes bc Wakana is often at work, and ALL the other moms adore him and the dads kind of hate him except…they can’t because how can you hate Rihan?

Who cried the most at graduation? - Wakana, though Uncle Kubinashi might have to rub his eye because, uh, allergies… Aunt Setsura might have shed a tear or two…but no one’s gonna say anything that’s for damn sure.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - If Wakana is working, they send Kejoro, who bats her eyelashes and shows a little extra cleavage and usually manages to get the kids off with a warning. Kubinashi would prefer she didn’t, but he’s also learned to pick his battles. (Plus Rihan and Kubinashi aren’t going to go bail the kids out, bc ya know…mafia/Yakuza and all…)

Cooking, AU:

Who does the most cooking? - someone else, bc they are BOTH hot messes in the kitchen

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - neither is overly picky, but then, can you be when you couldn’t cook your way out of a paper bag?

Who does the grocery shopping? - either or both — when they go together they wind up getting more junk food and impulse buys and forget 75% of what they were supposed to be buying

How often do they bake desserts? - Only once. Never again. Do you know how hard it is to clean up molten sugar that splattered everywhere?

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - both

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Wakana, but if it was home cooked, she’d have had lots of help from Kejoro or Setsura

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Both — or takeout. If Wakana is tired from work, Rihan would have food waiting for her

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Both, but slightly more Rihan

Chores, AU:

Who cleans the room? -  Wakana. Rihan gets distracted and wanders off. 

Who is really against chores? - Rihan

Who cleans up after the pets? - Wakana 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Rihan

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither, they’re so laid back. Wakana probably is a little more excited

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Rihan. And then he got distracted…and didn’t finish cleaning.

Misc, AU:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Wakana. After a long night at the bar, she likes to relax in a nice hot bath

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Neither, they’re cat people

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - they do an average amount for the major holidays. Wakana has to help out with decor at the bar, so she’s kinda decorated out by the time she gets home. When they have kids they do more, though. 

What are their goals for the relationship? - For Wakana, it’s always and forever making Rihan smile and laugh. And Rihan wants her happy, so they’re just kind of…making each other happy, taking care of their family, enjoying life and not getting murdered

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Both — Wakana when she’s working late night and Rihan routinely

Who plays the most pranks? - Rihan, that lovable little shit.

Again, thanks for the ask! It was fun to brainstorm ;-)

[alluring-nirvana-blog1]

Sleepless Nights

So....this is my first ever blog post. Some pretty exciting shit. I don’t really know how this is supposed to work but I figure it’s what I make it and I choose to make it like my own personal online diary. Only a diary complete strangers on the internet from all over the world can read but hey YOLO right? 

Now where I usually prefer writing my diary/journal entries out by hand and in a cute little leather book that sits on the cardboard box next to my bed that I use as a nightstand. For some reason I just really felt like making a blog dedicated to the random thoughts and ideas that run through my mind. Also, I plan for this to be a place free of judgement where I can bitch all I want about the woes of university. A place where I can be myself without fear of people thinking I’m weird because no one reading this knows me personally and can use it against me IRL. 

Ah sweet victory.

Victory of what exactly, I have no idea.

Anyway, I figure it best to introduce myself I guess. For anonymity's sake, I’m going to omit some info because ya’ll don’t need to know my whole life story really. And to be honest, I’m very afraid of stalkers among almost everything else in life so yeah.

I’m Sunny, native Canadian (and I don’t mean I’m apart of the Native community, I was just born and raised in Canada so don’t be getting your panties in a twist about it). Just beginning my university experience, albeit slightly late and behind others of my graduating class but that’s okay. I’m from a small town where I lived with my mom and sisters, I relocated to the city for school and this is me trying to cope/adjust to my new life. 

I enjoy reading and writing as well as partaking in sports like soccer, baseball, rugby, cheer, etc. I’m huge into film and television but more so trivia and fun facts then the technical stuff, I am not a film major. Horror films/television are one of my favourite genres next to fantasy and action/adventure, I like the adrenaline from jump scares and suspense because it brings excitement to my boring life. I’m also really big on history, have been since I was a young kid because I think it’s really interesting to see how different life was in different centuries. Also I think it’s super cool seeing historical figures being played out on TV and knowing that those people actually once existed. 

I honestly can’t think of the things I dislike right now, which I guess is kinda good because dwelling on the negative is bad for your health kids!

Also, I’m a super huge true crime junkie/dork. Something about the minds and crimes of criminals fascinate me and has since I was a kid, to say my parents worried about me as a child is an understatement. So if you tag me or @ me in a true crime post or something (I don’t know how it works on this site) I will 9 out of 10 times respond of reblog t or something. 

The Sidemen are my babies and I’m in love with all of them. They’re great for making you feel better on a shitty day and I love spending my time being in school and watching documentaries while procrastinating a paper that’s due in a week. 

That’s basically me in a nut shell, don’t really know what else to say but I guess if ya’ll have questions and give enough of a fuck to send them to me I’d definitely answer them. But that’s also if anyone is actually even reading this. 

I started writing this post because in all honesty, I can’t sleep and it’s almost two in the morning where I’m at. I’m used to it by now because for the past maybe eight months to a year I’ve not been able to sleep unless I’m completely wiped out. Also doesn’t help that my roommate (who I love dearly, don’t get me wrong) is always insisting on sleeping with her fairy/tea lights plugged in and those motherfuckers light up the whole goddamn room. I don’t have the heart to ask her to unplug them when she goes to bed, the semester’s almost over so its pointless. 

But that’s not the only thing occupying my mind at the moment, I may or may not be looking for apartments/condos with two girls I met in January by the end of the week. It scares the shit out of me to be brutally honest. I don’t do well with change and I was planning to live on residence again next year but if this goes well that won’t be the case anymore. Change is a scary thing but it’s necessary in order to learn and grow as a person and I know this but I also know that that doesn’t change how scary it is. 

But also doing scary shit is what life’s all about right? 

I’m just worried about having roommates in general, about us having problems and clashing and all that. One of the girls I may be moving in with is very forward and speaks her mind without giving a shit about what anyone else thinks. I am very much the opposite, I grew up in a very confrontational house hold so I’ve had enough of it to last me nine life times. So I tend to stay on the quiet side and keep my opinions to myself unless I feel its necessary or someone actually wants to hear it and won’t get all pissy about it. 

I’m also worried about getting tired of the social interaction, I’m an introvert and spending time with people for long periods of time makes me anxious and drains me. But despite all of this, every situation has its silver lining and I get excited thinking about it in my situation.

I’ve never lived in my own place before so that’s super exciting and I’m just excited that I’ve made friends since being here. Both very good things, also I feel like it will force me to come out of my shell more, and one of my potential roommates is with a guy who’s a bodybuilder and encourages her to go as well. She’s becoming a huge gym junkie and that I feel like will also be motivation for me to go as well, I’d also get a gym buddy out of it so that’s be awesome. 

I know it will be a good thing but there has been a lot of change happening within the last three months for me. It’s just all been very overwhelming as it would be for anyone, especially a teenager whose year has been all change and quick last minute decisions. 

Any of you have similar experiences? Lets swap campfire horror stories, it’ll be fun I promise. 

Anyway, this has been very long and rambley and all over the place but hopefully I’ll get better at this in the future. I don’t really know how to end this but I guess I’ll just leave it with if you have any cool true crime stuff or history or movies or edits, anything like that, don’t hesitate to share it with me! I’d love to see it.

-Sunny out

[pinkdelusionpeace]

24 Invaluable Skills To Learn For Free Online This Year

Here’s an easy resolution: This stuff is all free as long as you have access to a computer, and the skills you learn will be invaluable in your career, and/or life in general.

1. Become awesome at Excel.

Chandoo is one of many gracious Excel experts who wants to share their knowledge with the world. Excel excellence is one of those skills that will improve your chances of getting a good job instantly, and it will continue to prove invaluable over the course of your career. What are you waiting for?

2. Learn how to code.

littleanimalgifs.tumblr.com

Perhaps no other skill you can learn for free online has as much potential to lead to a lucrative career. Want to build a site for your startup? Want to build the next big app? Want to get hired at a place like BuzzFeed? You should learn to code. There are a lot of places that offer free or cheap online coding tutorials, but I recommend Code Academy for their breadth and innovative program. If you want to try a more traditional route, Harvard offers its excellent Introduction to Computer Science course online for free.

3. Make a dynamic website.

You could use a pre-existing template or blogging service, or you could learn Ruby on Rails and probably change your life forever. Here’s an extremely helpful long list of free Ruby learning tools that includes everything from Rails for Zombies to Learn Ruby The Hard Way. Go! Ruby! Some basic programming experience, like one of the courses above, might be helpful (but not necessarily required if you’re patient with yourself).

4. Learn to make a mobile game.

If you’re not interested in coding anything other than fun game apps, you could trythis course from the University of Reading. It promises to teach you how to build a game in Java, even if you don’t have programming experience! If you want to make a truly great game, you might want to read/listen up on Game Theory first.

5. Start reading faster.

Spreeder is a free online program that will improve your reading skill and comprehension no matter how old you are. With enough practice, you could learn to double, triple, or even quadruple the speed at which you read passages currently, which is basically like adding years to your life.

6. Learn a language!

With Duolingo, you can learn Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, or English (from any of the above or more). There’s a mobile app and a website, and the extensive courses are completely free.

Full disclosure: BuzzFeed and other websites are in a partnership with DuoLingo, but they did not pay or ask for this placement.

7. Pickle your own vegetables.

Tired of your farmer’s market haul going bad before you use it all? Or do you just love tangy pickled veggies? You too can pickle like a pro thanks to SkillShare and Travis Grillo.

8. Improve your public speaking skills.

You can take the University of Washington’s Intro to Public Speaking for free online. Once you learn a few tricks of the trade, you’ll be able to go into situations like being asked to present at a company meeting or giving a presentation in class without nearly as much fear and loathing.

9. Get a basic handle of statistics.

UC Berkeley put a stats intro class on iTunes. Once you know how to understand the numbers yourself, you’ll never read a biased “news” article the same way again — 100% of authors of this post agree!

10. Understand basic psychology.

Knowing the basics of psych will bring context to your understanding of yourself, the dynamics of your family and friendships, what’s really going on with your coworkers, and the woes and wonders of society in general. Yale University has its Intro to Psychology lectures online for free.

11. Make your own music.

Step one: Learn how to play guitar: Justin Guitar is a fine and free place to start learning chords and the basic skills you’ll need to be able to play guitar — from there, it’s up to you, but once you know the basics, just looking up tabs for your favorite songs and learning them on your own is how many young guitar players get their start (plus it’s an excellent party trick).

Step two: A delightful free voice lesson from Berklee College Of Music.

Step three: Have you always thought you had an inner TSwift? Berklee College of Music offers an Introduction to Songwriting course completely for free online. The course is six weeks long, and by the end of the lesson you’ll have at least one completed song.

Step four: Lifehacker’s basics of music production will help you put it all together once you have the skills down! You’ll be recording your own music, ready to share with your valentine or the entire world, in no time!

12. Learn to negotiate.

Let Stanford’s Stan Christensen explain how to negotiate in business and your personal life, managing relationships for your personal gain and not letting yourself be steamrolled. There are a lot of football metaphors and it’s great.

13. Stop hating math.

If you struggled with math throughout school and now have trouble applying it in real-world situations when it crops up, try Saylor.org’s Real World Mathcourse. It will reteach you basic math skills as they apply IRL. Very helpful!

14. Start drawing!

All kids draw — so why do we become so afraid of it as adults? Everyone should feel comfortable with a sketchbook and pencil, and sketching is a wonderful way to express your creativity. DrawSpace is a great place to start. (I also highly recommend the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain if you can drop a few dollars for a used copy.)

15. Make your own animated GIF.

BuzzFeed’s own Katie Notopoulos has a great, simple guide to making an animated GIF without Photoshop. This is all you need to be the king or queen of Tumblr or your favorite email chains.

16. Appreciate jazz.

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Have you never really “gotten” jazz? If you want to be able to participate in conversations at fancy parties and/or just add some context to your appreciation of all music, try this free online course from UT Austin.

17. Write well.

Macalester College’s lecture series is excellent. If you’re more interested in journalism, try Wikiversity’s course selection.

18. Get better at using Photoshop.

Another invaluable skill that will get you places in your career, learning Photoshop can be as fun as watching the hilarious videos on You Suck At Photoshop or as serious as this extensive Udemy training course (focused on photo retouching).

19. Take decent pictures.

Lifehacker’s basics of photography might be a good place to start. Learn how your camera works, the basic of composition, and editing images in post-production. If you finish that and you’re not sure what to do next, here’s a short course on displaying and sharing your digital photographs.

20. Learn to knit.

Instructables has a great course by a woman who is herself an online-taught knitter. You’ll be making baby hats and cute scarves before this winter’s over!

21. Get started with investing in stocks.

If you are lucky enough to have a regular income, you should start learning about savings and investment now. Investopedia has a ton of online resources, including this free stocks basics course. Invest away!

22. Clean your house in a short amount of time.

Unf$#k Your Habitat has a great emergency cleaning guide for when your mother-in-law springs a surprise visit on you. While you’re over there, the entire blog is good for getting organized and clean in the long term, not just in “emergencies.” You’ll be happier for it.

23. Start practicing yoga.

Most cities have free community classes (try just searching Google or inquiring at your local yoga studio), or if you’re more comfortable trying yoga at home, YogaGlohas a great 15-day trial and Yome is a compendium of 100% free yoga videos. If you’re already familiar with basic yoga positions but you need an easy way to practice at home, I recommend YogaTailor’s free trial as well.

24. Tie your shoelaces more efficiently.

It’s simple and just imagine the minutes of your life you’ll save!