#very happy to draw spinel again!! it's been a while

[smile-files]

♡ YOUR BEST FRIEND! ♡

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

The Imp-Acolytes & Angel's Ex-Wife With Isabella (2023)

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Credit for Helluva Boss & Hazbin Hotel goes to Vivziepop

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first I want to point out, that even though I don't want these two drawings to be reblog without my permission...

I am going to use them as covers for the fan fics over at Quotev.

but it's okay that not everyone reads them, cause I know the stories that has to do with Spinel ending up working with I.M.P. and even the story that I had decided have a 23 year old Sari be a main character, might not be perfect but I'm trying my best and well the story that Sari is a main character, wasn't originally going to have Transformers or even Transformers Animated added to it, and the main character was going to be slightly different before I decided to change the idea and had decided to add Sari and change the summary a bit...

anyway, the Isabella in the drawing below the one with the three Imps...

is based off of the Original Isabella/Cherry-Bomb.

so if the two ended up as separate characters, even if only in the Fanon...

Isabella in this, wouldn't go by "Cherry-Bomb" but Cherri, Angel's best girl buddy would still go by that name.

so the Isabella in this drawing, is like a Fanon Timeline & AU version...

who I may add to the crossover story that has to do with 23 year old Sari, who in Cybertronian years is 23 hundred stellar cycles old.

so yeah, I plan to use both of these two drawings as Covers for chapters.

Rowan is 100% a OC, and if she ended up in the fan series that is called Arackniss by AxelGear.

(and the fan series has the same name as Angel's older brother.)

I think Rowan would be way taller than Monty and Sir Pentious.

Rowan is suppose to be Isabella's Mom.

even though Rowan is not canon and is fanon only, she could be like Angel's ex-wife in the fanon timeline, and they both could of been understanding about each other's feelings so in other words they divorced on good terms.

Rowan is suppose to be a muscular woman.

as for the three Imps holding the signs, well I don't think I gave them names even in the chapter they are suppose to appear in.

and yes the whole Spankageddon was a weird idea and is mentioned in the chapter in one of my stories...

it might be the Spinelluva Boss AU type story......I think I forgot...

I will have to check both "Spinelluva Boss: Home Is Where The Spinel Is" and "Falling For The Angel In Disguise." to see which one of them I put that Spankageddon and some Imps worshiping the Goddess ideas in.

others who are like those three Imps in the drawing on top, aren't taken seriously by the rest of the Hellborns or even the Sinners.

even if they talk about there being a Goddess and how she will send her angels to spank their butts, not many will believe them.

maybe Ozzie will get off the hook, along with Fizz...

so they both wont be punished by the Angels of The Goddess.

is it weird to view Ozzie and Fizz being adorkable sweet potatoes...?

even though I had felt not really happy before and I guess I still feel a bit not happy, because of certain reasons that I had talked about in the post before this one.

at least those two adorkable sweet potatoes make me feel a bit more happy, along with the art I'm checking out on here.

and in theory while in the Fanon Timeline, Ozzie has met King Solomon before.....it is very likely that in the canon timeline of Helluva Boss, Ozzie has never met King Solomon...

so the possibility of Ozzie mentioning King Solomon is very unlikely.

but in a Fanon Timeline where they have met...

King Solomon could be all like "stop seducing my granddaughter!"

to Ozzie, and Ozzie could be confused on what he is talking about.

I only have small crushes on Ozzie & Fizz.....

I mean some people can have more than one crush, but some can be small crushes and not really big crushes.

and yeah I'm technically King Solomon's Granddaughter....

well descendant granddaughter...

and who doesn't work at 100% like other Earth Angels.

cause once again, I know I'm a Defective Earth Angel.

but I'm still Human too and I can be weird, like my wanting to give Lucifer the cold hands to face punishment because he did that rebellion thing at the worse time...

he could of still waited until the balance between the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine was fixed and healed properly...

anyway when I can I will add these two drawings as Covers for Chapters for either "Spinelluva Boss: Home Is Where The Spinel Is"

or "Falling For The Angel In Disguise"...

I can either have Rowan and Isabella appear in just the Spinelluva Boss AU story or the other story that is called "Falling For The Angel Disguise", or maybe both.

like have them have small cameos...

anyway I hope some like these two drawings, plus no one has to take the idea of three Imps trying to tell others about Spankageddon, seriously....I mean some can view it as a bit funny.

I know I was being weird when that idea pop into my head...

later or maybe tomorrow, I will check which one of those two stories I had put that idea about those three Imps and Spankageddon...

I'm going to grab something to eat in a little bit, I need the energy...

so anyway don't have much else to say, other than if you look closely at the three Imps, you will see they have buttons.

and yes I know it is weird to ship the 23 year old Sari with Swindle...

but I think I can still have it be a semi-ship for now.

also I can't be the only one who figured out that Soundwave (the TFA version who I'm still gonna view as a Soundwave Jr. and being separate from the Other Soundwave...) and Sari, are not only technically siblings, they also share a birthday.

let's see, Sari is 23 years old in Human Years in the story I'm writing, but she is also 23 hundred stellar cycles in Cybertronian Years.

and I think I will have Soundwave Jr. be 15 years old in Earthling Years, but 15 Stellar Cycles in Cybertronian Years.

like the idea can be that Soundwave that appears in TFA, is based off of another Soundwave and could look like a Transformers Animated version of Soundwave from Transformers Prime.

and to not confuse the two, Soundwave Sr. will go by his other name which is Soundblaster. anyway hope some of you like these two drawings, which once again is for Fanon only.

even though the Isabella in the drawing with Rowan, is like alternate version and based off of the original Isabella.

so in the Fanon Timeline, Isabella and Cherri are two different people and Isabella is a anthropomorphic spider, either being a sinner demon or angel...so yeah in the Fanon Timeline, Angel still has a daughter named Isabella but it has been a very long time since he last saw her. and I guess in the Fanon Timeline, some could view Angel and Rowan having a Lavender Marriage, maybe...?

I need to look up more info about the Lavender Wedding.

not sure if they had those back during the time when Angel, Arackniss and Molly were still humans and alive on Earth.

I don't know when a Lavender Wedding first started, so I will need to look up more info about it when I find the time to do so.

anyway in the next post maybe I will either make a post about FNAF or Deltarune...or maybe even Transformers and talk about some fan theories about one of them. and maybe in a future post, I can talk about how Ozzie and Fizz are two adorkable sweet potatoes.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 12

Day 12 - You meet your soulmate in your dreams every night.

Pairing(s): Romantic Remile, Romantic Moceit, Romantic Dukexiety, Past Romantic Dukeceit

TWs: sexual language, mentions of childbirth, Remus being Remus, swearing

--

Emile Picani knew something was up with his soulmate.

Their link, as almost all did, formed when they were twelve. And right off the bat, when his soulmate kept flitting in and out of sight, he knew their first meeting would be interesting. Emile had sat up from his dream bed to see a young boy with raven hair that shone a dazzling blue in the light, and pale skin adorned with freckles that stood out like stars in the night sky. 

So sue him, Emile was going through a poetic phase. 

He’d walked over to start up the conversation, “Soulmate! Do you, how do? My name’s-”

Was as far as he got before the boy disappeared. At first, Emile panicked; what happened?! Did his soulmate hate him on sight and wake up-

Oh, there he is.

The boy reappeared, taking in Emile as he looked him up and down with his mocha coloured eyes, “Oh, you’re still here, babes. Cool.”

Huh. Interesting response, but Emile trusted in fate, extending a hand again, “As I was saying before you got spirited away, I’m Emile Picani! What’s your name?”

“Nice Ghibli reference. I’m Remy Duke,”, he yawned, reaching for Emile’s hand lazily, “Nice to meet you. So like, you’re my soulmate? I’m like, not just dreaming?”

Emile shook his head, “Nope! It’s really me! I hope you’re not disappointed- Ah, sorry, my pops says I shouldn’t say stuff like that-”

“He’s right, you shouldn’t.”, was the blunt response he got.

Sensing that he might’ve made his soulmate uncomfortable, Remy elaborated, “My ren says you should totes avoid negative thinking. Like, if you keep thinking you’re disappointing me, you’re only gonna like, reinforce that idea. And being that anxious is not a good look on you, sweetie.”

Emile wasn’t sure what to think, but the advice made him feel… really happy, actually. His soulmate cares! He went to thank him, but Remy had disappeared again. Dang. Emile waited until Remy returned, humming to himself when he heard his soulmate’s voice again,

“Whoa, you like Steven Universe?”

Emile’s smile glistened with delight that Remy had recognised the tune of Independant Together, “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character!? Mine’s Steven!! But if I had to pick a gem, I’d say Spinel’s my new favourite!” 

Remy rolled his eyes, but Emile read the gesture as a fond one, “Cool.” . He figured his soulmate wouldn’t answer further but then Remy continued, “I like Buck Dewey. He’s totes underrated. As for the gems, like, there’s no question babes. Garnet’s the best.”

Thankfully, Remy was able to stay for the rest of the night until the two of them realised it’d be morning soon.

“Oh, before you go, maybe we should find out where we both live! That way we can-”

Remy shook his head, “Nah babes. Let’s make this fun. It’s like, way too boring if we make things THAT easy.”. He noted how upset Emile looked and took pity, “Tell you what babes, how about every time we meet, we both get one yes or no question. Make it a game. First one to guess where the other lives wins.”

Emile smiled, mirroring Remy’s playful one, “Alright then! Can I go first?”

“As long as you’re quick babes.”

“Oh, right!”, Emile cleared his throat, “Are you in the US?”

With a dramatic, yet monotone sigh, Remy retorted, “Unfortunately-”

“Remyyyy!”, Emile chuckled, “You’re breaking your own rule. It’s yes or no, silly!”

Remy rolled his eyes, but the sigh he gave had nothing but fondness, “Alright, alright. Yes.”. He stretched his arms, “Same question to you babes, you stuck in this crapsack of a country too?”

“Yes.”, Emile answered, “Unfortunately.”

The chuckle he got back from Remy left him with a smile on his face as he awoke that morning. Emile wasted no time in brushing his teeth and heading to breakfast with a spring in his step to tell his fathers the great news. 

--

Unknowingly just a few miles away, another young lad awoke and dragged himself lazily down the stairs where his father and ren were having one of their early morning romantic tension arguments.

“The knife’s the pussy option, Virge!”, his father Remus had chided, shoving a handful of trix into his mouth with his bare hand, “Knives don’t do shit!”

Remy’s ren, Virgil, massaged their temples in frustration. Going by the shade of their face being somewhere between embarrassed tomato and devil’s asscrack crimson, Remy figured they’d been on this tangent for the last hour or so.

“What the FUCK do you mean ‘knives don’t do shit’?! It’s a fucking KNIFE, dipshit! What the fuck is a spoon gonna do!?”

Virgil yanked the cereal from Remus and began pouring him a proper bowl, to which the messy man scoffed, “Virge, you’re not thinking about the bigger picture!”

“What bigger picture?! We’re talking about which would be best in a casual alleyway fight, right?! Just bring a goddamn knife!”

Ah. 

Context. 

Gotta love it.

Remy walked undetected past the two of them to go digging in the hall closet dryer for his favourite shirt while his father made his case.

“That’s predictable, babe! You’re not thinking about the psychology of it, Virge!”, Remus protested, “Look, any bozo can grab a knife, big deal! Your chances of being intimidating with that alone are, what, four in ten?!”, he bullshitted, gesticulating wildly as he picked up a spoon, wielding it like a cutlass, “But if you pick a spoon!? Thats like saying “Hey I’m fuckin’ crazy”!! I’m not gonna go up against the mother fucker that picks a spoon! You know how crazy that looks!?”

“Very much so, yeah.”, Virgil deadpanned, making direct eye contact with Remus who returned that glare with a wink.

“Careful, last time you gave me that look, we had to start buying baby clothes.”

Virgil scoffed, but it was hard to hide the exhausted smirk they bore, “Oh fuck you. Take your cereal and sit down.”

Remus did neither of those things, instead wrapping his arms around Virgil’s waist and pulling them closer, “I mean, if you wanna-“

“Like, maybe we can keep the horny out of the kitchen?”, Remy piped up, watching his ren damn near leap out of their skin while his father burst into laughter.

“No promises!”, Remus jested, taking the bowl of cereal Virgil had made for him and downing it like he was chugging cheap beer at a frat party. Virgil sighed in exhaustion but gestured for Remy to have a seat at the table, “So, how’d your first soulmate dream go, Rem? Did you get a name?”

Remy slung himself into his usual seat at the table, “Yeah. His name’s Emile Picani.”

The immediate silence was palpable for a second, even Remus didn’t dare make a sound when Virgil spoke up, “Remus, wasn’t your ex’s name Janus Picani?”

Remy hadn’t seen his father in a flight or fight situation like this before; sure there was this one time in WalMart, but he didn’t have a melon baller, two packs of toilet paper, and a plunger at hand like that time. Instead, his father was armed only with a banana he had snatched from the fruit bowl and taken a bite of. With the peel still on. Speaking with his mouth full and earning a disgusted eye roll from his partner, Remus finally managed to offer a response.

--

“It’s probably not the same guy.”

Janus Picani unknowingly echoed his ex boyfriend under his breath, inaudible to his son. 

Of all the names Emile could’ve given, why’d the surname have to be Duke? He had never told his husband Patton about the whole ex-boyfriend thing; Janus thought it best no one ever knew lest he be judged harshly. Sure, he’d never exactly cared what others thought - and many did share his opinion that holding off ANY romantic or sexual activity until you met your soulmate wasn’t always entirely healthy or doable - but the idea of Patton possibly being let down or upset by the news…

Janus didn’t want to think about it. No, he wouldn’t entertain the thought. After all, he had breakfast to make, fried eggs to watch over, toast to be ready to butter when it popped up.

Besides, Duke was probably a common surname, right? 

Probably. 

Maybe.. 

Hopefully.

“Did Remy tell you where he lives, sweetie? We can always drive you over to meet him after school if it’s close enough!”, Patton chirped excitedly from the seat next to his son, unknowingly setting Janus even more on edge. 

Please say he’s across the country. Please say he’s in another state. Please say he’s ANYWHERE but close by-

“Oh, we’re making a game of it!”

Janus’ curiosity peaked, but his anxiety remained on hold just in case.

“Every time we meet, we get to ask one yes or no question, then whoever guesses the other’s location first wins! Isn’t that exciting!?”

His enthusiasm was contagious. Patton was practically bouncing in his chair, “Oh that’s so cute!! It’s just like a romcom!”, he began, then corrected, “Oh, unless you’re both platonic, don’t worry kiddo, that’s fine too-”

“Thanks popstar, but I um,”, Emile flushed a little, hiding in his pastel yellow cardigan, “I really like him. I know it’s dumb ‘cause we only just met but… but he’s so cool!”

Janus listened in on his son’s adorable recounting of the encounter; how the two had talked about cartoons for hours, and the oddity of Remy flickering back and forth from the soulscape at first. The curiosity in Janus won out as he finished cooking their breakfast and brought their plates to the table. 

“He sounds like a lovely young man,”, Janus led with, hoping to at least quell some of his fears, “Do we get to know what he looks like, perhaps?”

Patton gasped excitedly, “Yessss!! Then if we pass him on the street, we can say hello!”

Thankful for Patton’s backup, if not for the same reasons, Janus nodded and Emile enthusiastically took out his notebook to start trying to draw his soulmate from memory,

“Well, he’s got really gorgeous eyes! And lots of freckles!-”

His pencils were almost combusting at the sheer speed Emile was working up the more he got excited about his soulmate. His fathers both unknowingly thought back to his adoption; he’d been so shy at first, barely able to look either of them in the eye, but after just a couple of weeks being allowed to express himself creatively in ways he hadn’t been able to do before with his birth parents, Emile had grown into the same excitable young lad they were watching right that second. Wordlessly, Patton slid his hands into Janus’ hold, who sweetly returned the loving gesture with a soft lacing of their fingers together. 

They were inches from leaning in for a kiss momentarily before Emile excitedly announced that he was done, “This is him! Isn’t he the coolest?!”

Janus scanned the drawing, noting both his son’s artistic talent and feeling a small burst of relief. The kid didn’t resemble Remus at all. For now at least he could sleep easy knowing he wouldn’t have to face his ex again.

--

Janus ate his words three months later.

Emile and Remy had continued to meet within their dreams, playing their guessing game as always until, thanks to Patton’s help, he managed to guess close enough to Remy’s location. True to his word, Remy had given Emile the address and lo and behold, they were only a couple of miles away from each other.

Janus couldn’t say he wasn’t happy for them, he was thrilled in fact. However, as he stood at the front door of Remy’s parents house staring at the face of his ex boyfriend, he couldn’t deny the urge he had to run away immediately. The moment of silence was unbearable. Perhaps he could pretend he didn’t know- “Well shit, it IS you, Snake Face!”

Nevermind.

Janus resisted the urge to scratch at the eczema that adorned the left half of his face, clearing his throat, “It’s good to see you too, Remus.”

Patton and Emile were shocked by the revelation, while Virgil and Remy were entirely unphased. Though Remy was certainly more preoccupied by his soulmate.

Emile was so much cuter in person; his jade green eyes, his honey skin, the cute puff of purple hair, the dorkiest Disney themed sweater Remy had ever seen. It took him a second to realise he was staring too long and blocking the door.

“Oh, uh, come in or whatever, babes.”

He reached out to lead his soulmate into the house, followed by a gaggle of awkward parents.

“So, Jan, darling,”, Patton piped up, “How do you and um-“

“Remus!”, the man grinned.

“You and Remus know each other?”

Janus was about to answer with a well crafted lie when Remus beat him to the punch, “Oh! Dee’s my ex!”

The immediate silence that followed from all six occupants of the house was so much worse than Janus had anticipated. Emile sported an expression of shock, and he didn’t want to hazard seeing Patton’s face. Seeing how disappointed he’d be that he’d lied to him-

“Oh! Well that was ….. Un-ex-pected!”, Patton punned, earning mostly groans but a hearty chuckle from Remus. Janus looked over to his husband, stunned to note that he didn’t seem angry. Perhaps he’d been worried over nothing after all. 

Virgil was first to speak up as they offered the others a seat on the sofa while Remy and Emile were excused to go play video games while the adults talked.

“So I take it you didn’t tell your..“, Remus stalled, hoping Patton would fill in the pieces.

“Husband.”

“Husband,”, Remus began, “that we used to hardcore date back in the day?”

Janus felt his stomach lurch as Patton shifted beside him; neither farther away nor closer to him. Perhaps that made it much worse. 

“In my defense, Remus, we both knew it wasn’t exactly anything serious-”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say. It was brief, but Janus noted the flash of disappointment in Remus’ eyes. Not exactly that of a hopeful ex lover realising they didn’t have a second chance, mind you. More so someone who clearly had wanted a close friendship, or at least SOME kind of meaningful relationship with the man he’d grown close to. 

Man, Janus felt like such a bastard.

“Apologies, Remus. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh-“

“It’s fine, Snake ‘n’ Flake,”, Okay maybe Janus didn’t feel too bad, “I mean, it stings a little but whatever. We both found our soulmates, so who cares about what we got up to on campus-”

Patton cleared his throat politely, but firmly, “Sorry to interrupt but um, Virgil, was it? How long had you known about it?”

Janus knew that expression; Patton’s “I want to know how much of a fool I’ve been” face was unmistakable. Maybe he was mad at Janus after all.

Virgil snorted, playing with their hoodie strings in a stimming gesture, “Dude, his opening line when we met was “I hope you don’t mind that this ass has some mileage on it.”. Remus doesn’t do subtlety.”

Maybe if Janus wished hard enough the floor would eat him alive. Patton gave a quiet, thoughtful nod and the conversation diverted unexpectedly after that. Not that Janus wasn’t relieved, but the way Patton seemed to pivot so quickly into another topic felt all too much like he was avoiding the whole thing. Janus may be a coward, but seeing his husband try to act like the information wasn’t hurting him was so much worse. He dug his phone out of his pocket and feigned surprise,

“... Would you excuse me, I have a missed business call, it won’t take a second.”

Virgil and Remus watched him go, Patton giving him the smallest nod in acknowledgement for now as the conversation swerved back into more parenting talk. 

Janus wasn’t sure how long Patton would give it before he came out to the front porch to talk; they’d had the system in place ever since they realised Emile would get curious and listen into their conversations sometimes. Missed business calls for Janus, another long catch up with his Aunt Patty for Patton. Both were code phrases for the same thing: we need to talk.

Patton had given it five minutes before he’d come to check in on Janus. The quietness of the surrounding neighbourhood let them indulge in the tinkling from an obviously homemade wind chime dangling above the porch.

“..... I was afraid you’d be disappointed in me.”, came Janus’ quiet admission under the warm sun rays that tickled his already partially dry skin, “Or worse. That you wouldn’t want me if I told you-”

“That’s ridiculous, Jan.”

Patton rarely interrupted anyone - purely out of politeness and the goodness of his heart - but he wouldn’t stand to hear his husband of eight years talk about himself that way, “If you keep talking bad about yourself I’m going to physically fight you.”

There was no bite to his words, but more a firm tone that settled Janus’ nerves somewhat.

“I suppose, but still. I understand that you’re most likely upset with me. I lied to you. And admittedly to Remus as well, but that’s-”

“I’m not upset.”

Pat gently caressed Janus’ rough cheek, paying his skin condition no mind as he reassured him, “I am a little disappointed.”, there’s the fatherly tone, “But none of this would ever be enough to make me leave you or anything if that’s what you were worried about. You’re stuck with me.”. Patton shot Janus a sunshine smile and the cutest blep he’d ever seen, to which the latter felt his heart positively melt, “And you’re stuck with a snake boy.”

The way Patton laughed ignited his bones and sent every nerve ending in his body soaring on high. By Gods, he loved him. Of course, Janus knew he loved Patton since they’d first met in their dreams - both being rather late to establish their connection at their early 20s - from the moment he’d laid eyes on him and heard the words, “Hey there! I’m sorry it took so long to meet you! I guess I was .... Patton-Pending!”. 

“Seriously, where’re all there snake jokes slithering their way out of?”

Janus held in a snort-laugh, “Ah, I used to own a pet snake in college. She escaped the first night I stayed in the dorms and caused a minor lockdown. Once I got her back, the nickname got spread around like wildfire thanks to Remus calling me Snake Face affectionately for months.”

Janus’ sigh screamed exhaustion, but his tone spoke of fondness. Patton chuckled sweetly, “At least he didn’t mean it in a mean way. Otherwise he’d be hiss-tory if I got a hold of him!”

Goddammit, Janus was weak for his husband’s awful puns. Stifling the belly laugh that wanted to break out of him in favour of a curt snort of amusement, “I can take care of myself, fangs you very much.”. Their mutual punning session went back and forth until a knock at the door behind them reminded the two that they weren’t at home. Virgil’s voice came from the other side of the door, 

“You both alright out there?”

Patton quickly called back, “Yep! We’ll be right back in a second!”

“Cool, I’m making hot cocoa, just lemme know how you like it once you’re done.”

Janus sighed and stood up. He already began to feel tense again, but Patton gently rose and took hold of his hands, 

“You should apologise to him, y’know. Remus, I mean.”, Patton clarified, “I know you noticed.”

Patton didn’t clarify further, he knew Janus knew what he meant. The way Remus had covered up how much what he’d said before hurt. Besides, he already had something to apologise to the eccentric trash rat for anyway so..

“I know. Can you keep Virgil company for me in the meantime?”

Patton nodded enthusiastically, “Of course! They promised to show me their tattoos later anyway!”

Janus wasn’t surprised his husband was enthralled by something so artsy, chuckling softly to himself as he and Patton rejoined the others only to walk in on the Dukes rather intensely making out just shy of the kitchen island. Patton averted his eyes while Janus rolled his and just cleared his throat undeterred. 

“I do hope we’re not interrupting anything.”

Just like this morning, Virgil nearly leapt out of their skin and embarrassedly ushered Remus out of the kitchen. Patton decided to swap in and help Virgil prep the drinks, while Janus sat with Remus in the living room once again.

“I owe you an apology, Remus.”, Janus took a deep breath in, “Actually, I owe you two.“

He hazarded a look at Remus, anticipating perhaps shock or surprise, but instead the human embodiment of a muscle cramp was trying to sit upside down on the sofa next to Janus. If he were honest, Janus was more disappointed in himself for not assuming Remus would be the same mangey gremlin he’d been used to.

“You’re aware I’m attempting to be serious?”

“Yep.”

“And you’re going to continue sitting like that?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you aware that talking to you is like attempting to win a game of “But Why?” with a three year old?” 

“Mhm!”

Janus massaged his temples and Remus, thankfully, relented. He didn’t remove himself from the seat and sit like a human being, he simply flicked Janus in the side.

“You act like I’m a bitch to talk to, but fucking hell, cutting the umbilical cord was less taxing than this.”

The snarky remark did get a chortle out of Janus, “Ah, then Remy’s..?“

“Yep! Fresh outta my insides!”, Remus cackled. Janus rolled his eyes. 

“Charming.”

“Nah, that’s my brother, I’m more….. the Demented type.”

“I’m aware,”, Janus retorted, “I remember having to drag you across campus to get your stomach pumped after the Everything Cocktail you downed at the annual Halloween Party.”

Remus let out a barking laugh and nearly slid off the sofa, “In my defense, the hot sauce, caramel, chicken strip, coffee, shrimp, marinara sauce, peanut butter, and six spoons of… was it horseradish or mayo?”

“Horseradish.”, Janus shuddered.

“That’s the bitch.”, Remus continued, “They weren’t so bad. The celery was what fucking sucked ass. And the carrots.”

Ah, the nostalgia. 

Granted, the trip down memory lane was the most wonderful mix of chaotic and bumpy, but the longer he took to address the issue, the worse Janus felt. He must’ve let his expression slip because Remus immediately stopped his rambling and finally let out a tired exhale,

“Listen, if what you said earlier is still eating at you like a piranha in your gut, then it’s fine. Really. I mean sure, it sucked cactus dick knowing you didn’t feel as serious about us as I did at the time, but-”

“It wasn’t true.”, Janus cut in, “What I’d said. I was trying to soften the impact, I suppose. You did and still honestly do mean a lot to me, Remus.”

There’s the shock he’d expected. Remus’ eyes were trained fully on Janus, waiting for a sign of deceit, but thankfully, he detected nothing.

“Huh. Cool.”

It was pretty lackluster, but Janus could tell Remus was glad. At least for now.

“Actually, I wouldn’t get too comfortable yet, I have another apology to issue. Or, I suppose, another lie to set right.”

Oh boy. Janus inhaled, he’d gotten this far. No backing out now.

“When we broke up, I told you it was simply because I didn’t want to date you anymore. Then the week after, my soulmate miraculously appeared in my dreams. But that was a two faced lie.”

Remus cocked his head to the side, wincing while he tried to shuffle around and get comfy due to his gravity defying seating arrangement.

“So…. what happened for real?”

Janus sighed, “.... The week before we broke up, I met him in my dreams. Patton just appeared, and I fell in love instantly. I… I felt awful. Like I was cheating on both of you-”

“Jan-”

“Please, Remus, let me finish.”

Remus sighed, crossing his arms, which looked rather comical when upside down.

“I know you and I always said there’d be no shame if the connection eventually happened to emerge, yet when I saw him there for the first time I just-”

“You felt guilty anyway.”

It was Janus’ turn to be surprised as Remus finally rolled off of the sofa to climb back on and sit… less like a cryptid.

“Same thing happened the first time I saw Virgil.”

Remus snickered at the further shocked expression Janus sported.

“Yeah, I know. Me, King Garbage, Lord of the Thots, no brains or remorse…. feeling guilty. But I get it. It’s really different the first time you see ‘em. Either way, you shouldn’t feel bad for feeling worried or being scared, Snake Face. Although it does hurt like a skewered ballsack that you lied to me about it though. So..”

In retaliation for such a heinous crime, Remus reached over and grabbed Janus’ fancy lil hat, and with a practiced ease that had his ex both enraged and astonished, ring tossed the thing through the small opening in the window, landing it in the small decorative bird bath just outside.

“...... Remus Duke, before I beat the everloving shit out of you for old times sakes,”, Janus uttered lowley, threatening but with a familiar fondness that reminded Remus of their days causing havoc on campus and speed bullshitting essays like it was their birthright, “I want you to know that that little stunt was incredibly impressive...”

--

Upstairs, oblivious to the conversation and scuffle their fathers were enthralled in, Remy and Emile had mostly been playing games, watching cartoons and chatting away together. They’d just put on some Adventure Time when Emile looked over at Remy, noting he was falling asleep. Emile considered trying to do the same to surprise him in their dream space when Remy jolted back awake.

“Oh shit, how long was I out babes?”

Emile shook his head, “Not long. Does… that happen often?”

“Like, all the time. My sleep cycle is a roulette wheel, I’m sure of it.”, Remy lamented, shuffling closer to Emile on the edge of the bed, carefully not to knock over his laptop.

“Do you think our parents are getting along? I’m gonna like, throw hands if they ruin things with their adult bullshit.”

Emile shyly shuffled closer, leaning his head upon Remy’s, who savoured the feel of the slightly taller boy’s coiled hair against his forehead. Downstairs, Emile could hear a scuffle alongside his Papa’s worried attempts to calm down whatever was happening, and began to recognise Virgil’s annoyed interjections. He wasn’t too distressed however; his father’s upbeat tone and what sounded like Remus’ maniacal cackle assured him there was probably nothing to be worried about.

“Something tells me they’re getting along just fine.”, Emile smiled brightly at Remy, “How about one more episode then we can go check?”

----

Hoooly shit this took ages.

I promise I’m workin to catch up, I’m gonna do this or die tryin’!! For small clarifications:

- Virgil is NB/Agender and uses They/Them

- Remus is a Trans Man and uses He/Him

I didn’t specify much for the other characters purely because I could see them being anywhere on the gender spectrum, they can be whatever you prefer to read them as.

I really dunno how well this one read if I’m honest, it just kept branching from cute Remile focused fic to Families’ First Meeting kinda thing???

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account   @cateye-glasses   @fandomsofrandom 

[lord-king-saint]

Processing Pink

Up until the finale, Steven Universe Future had been building up the fact that Steven is actively resisting processing his emotions-- so I'm surprised and shocked that during the finale we don't see any processing on screen at all.

In "Homeworld Bound", Steven flees in shame from the Diamonds, who actively want to understand what is going on with him; but when he returns home after basically abandoning his family, he says he's fine and Garnet just... takes his word for it? Remember her saying: "We will always be your family"? What happened to all that tension and concern?

"Everything's Fine" was such a strange episode because Steven is literally unstable, showing enormous mood swings, and everyone is carrying on and playing baseball like nothing is happening? It doesn't feel like the Steven Universe that I remember. It feels like some... alternate reality where they're milking the situation for humor?

Though I adore Steven's breakdown before his corruption, "I Am My Monster" still doesn't involve Steven processing his feelings. Yes, Steven responds well to physical touch in the show, so The Big Hug was sweet and reasonable. And, like everyone else, I loved that Connie diffused their pity party and focused everyone on Steven.

But then there's a fucking time-skip, right after Steven's beautiful cathartic cry. And after that time-skip, even though the gems had supposedly been very protective, we only see the gems basically neglecting Steven again, so he can move away without guilt. So any real care and emotional processing was done off screen-- and I have a problem with that.

On screen, Steven comes closest to processing his feelings toward his mom in "What's Your Problem", with Amethyst in Fish Stew Pizza. His feelings about Rose are arguably the central conflict in the entire series! So why is this the sole moment Steven has to process his feelings about her?

His conflict with Rose bleeds into his other conflicts as well: his feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, his compulsive need to fix her (and everyone's) problems, his feelings toward being a Diamond, wondering if he's even real or just Rose, the physical and emotional trauma from her enemies, his pattern of being disillusioned and then having to assume responsibility, and even his compulsive need for secrecy!

It's true that Rose is a grey character and that her arc was in reverse, so there's plenty of controversy around this mysterious character. The crewniverse did a fabulous job with her story and perhaps it's a good thing that they leave so much about Rose up for interpretation.

Rose's character is all about deconstructing your idols, and then drawing your own conclusions-- and she's never redeemed. She never resolves things with Bismuth, or the Diamonds, or Spinel, or Pearl-- and she doesn't show up in the finale for Steven to guide him. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it wouldn't have been rewarding, no matter how much we crave it.

But Steven's feelings toward his mom is another story. I am so confused why they hardly addressed them on-screen. It was literally horrific to watch Steven's downward spiral, but the fact that no one said aloud, "That's a lot of pressure and I'm sorry" does not sit well with me. People with PTSD and Atlas Complexes need hugs, but they also need to have their feelings validated-- and that is never done for the audience to see.

The show is applauded for its careful depiction of trauma, but no one takes the time to validate the pressure that Steven is under. Not even a little. His realization that he isn't Rose in "Change Your Mind" is probably the most gorgeous moment in the show-- but Steven turned into a monster because he thinks he should be over it, but he isn't.

The reason why people like Steven are so lonely is because they live in another dimension from other people. He compulsively makes people happy, but his complusion for secrecy that he inherited from his mother, makes him unable to be present and happy too. It's torturous to actively make people happy but then still feel alone, surrounded by smiling faces.

Steven doesn't need to be fixed. He needs to be seen for what he's going through, and told that it's okay to feel what he feels-- even if it's confusing. Especially if it's confusing! People watching at home need to know that too. Even though Steven actively resisted being seen and validated, it definitely needed to happen after he turned into a monster and tried to "hug" the temple to death.

Amethyst was the real MVP in the show for Steven, but even she would continually remind Steven to stop fixing, without addressing his underlying feelings on-screen. Both of them are the byproducts of a non-structured "hippie" upbringing, where the parental figures were running from stricter family structures, but emotional neglect still happens in alternative family units.

That is why Greg couldn't help Steven. He made himself available and was endlessly supportive, but he never validated Steven because he never tried to see what Steven refused to show. Greg probably thought it would make him an intrusive authority figure like his parents by prying, but it was still bad parenting. Maybe if Greg showed more initiative and concern, Steven would have seen that his problems were valid.

While I was watching Steven's breakdown escalate, I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for the moment when the gems and Connie and everyone would finally see Steven and validate him. Steven doesn't know that his mother issues are important, but they are, and validation would mirror back to Steven that it's okay to be confused and angry with Rose.

Because she's gone, he might not ever resolve those feelings toward her, but someone still needed to tell Steven that they see him, and that his mother issues are valid and important, and that they support him. It's not going to solve his problems-- it isn't a substitute for therapy-- but it's an important step. Since the gems were so neglectful before, it would have been amazing to get even a glimpse of that in the finale, and I'm disappointed that it will never happen.

I love that everyone finally saw Steven. I love that the gems were protective of Steven. And, I'm happy that he finally got the care that he needed. I just wish even some of it was on-screen. It makes seeing my boy go... bittersweet.

[fireopal-tash]

Pearl and Garnet finally talk with the Diamonds. It doesn't go as expected...

This happens at the same time as the previous chapter. At last there will be answers... Right?

Also, this is my AU, so some things will be different: Homeworld free form; Gem's history free form

(read chapter 6 first!)

CHAPTER 7 - ETERNAL DESTINY

That same morning, while Steven was still sleeping with Spinel and Amethyst was in her own room, the fusion and the pearl decided to visit Homeworld again. More than anything, it was to finally speak with the Diamond Authority, and thus contrast the information they obtained from the last time. Their first visit was interesting but not enough for them. Helping Steven, that was their priority. And the only way to achieve it is by talking to the same gems they were so afraid of -no matter how much they deny it-.

Today the palace seemed to be busier. Looking around, you could see gems of all colors and of all shapes walking from one place to another, some talking, others in silence, but all animated. Pearl, uncomfortable and not used to such a large and varied group in this place, moved closer to Garnet and hugged her arm.

"Pearl, calm down. No one is going to attack us."

"Easy for you to say. You can see what's going to happen with your future vision, but all I see is chaos and a mess. Years ago this would have been more than enough to piss off the Diamonds" she hissed, and then she shook her head "It still amazes me how much everything has changed..."

"All thanks to Steven" Garnet smiled softly, feeling pride wash over her. That made Pearl smile too. Her son had grown a lot, and she couldn't be happier for him. Then she sighed.

"But that thing about Gem Mates is something unexpected. I'm afraid how it might affect Steven. Spinel too" the pale gem paused, watching some amethysts shout happily among themselves, drawing the attention of other gems "Do you think she has anything to do with all this?"

"I don't know. I... I can't see much since Steven came back. Things have changed, and I can't even know what's going to happen anymore" explained the fusion. She was worried, but she also knew that they couldn't depend on her future vision. They had to trust Steven and whatever decisions he'll make from now on.

"I think we've arrived..." Pearl announced. Her hands on the fusion's arm dropped and she approached the white doors of White Diamond's room. At least some things don't changed. Pearl knocked on the door, deciding that this was better than entering without announcing their presence.

"Come in" came the voice, the doors opening and giving way to White's chamber. Said Diamond was in a yoga pose of sorts, somewhat tense. The giant opened her eyes, without changing her position. "Ah, the crystal gems. What about Steven and the amethyst?"

"They're at home," said Pearl with irritation. Garnet touch Pearl's shoulder, then took a few steps closer to the large diamond.

"We came here to talk about him, actually. We've been... investigating, and we suspect that Steven is infected by Gem Mates." Hearing those words, the doors to that room slammed shut, blocking the only exit there was and surprising the other two gems. Meanwhile, White was looking at them with a seriousness not very common in her.

"Where did you hear that term? And what makes you think Steven might have it?"

"In The Great Library on Gems and Their History," Pearl explained with some reluctance. Then she looked at her with a hard and firm gaze "We know about Tourmaline, Tanzanite and Moissanite. We know what happened to them."

"You" she stopped suddenly. White turned around, her shoulders shaking slightly. Then she spoke, without turning around, in a solemn voice "Steven is not affected by anything. Gem Mates is not a vulgar disease or a virus. It is... a part of the history of the gems that was lost after what happened with Tourmaline, Tanzanite and Moissanite. They weren't... They weren't to blame. I should have stopped this from appearing long before. I never thought..." this time she turned around, looking directly at Pearl and Garnet "Did you say Steven could have a Gem Mate?"

"He's... he's been feeling strange."

"As if he could feel someone else's emotions inside him, correct?" she lowered her gaze, almost sadly "Sounds right"

"What else can you tell us about that? How can we help Steven?" Garnet finally asked.

"Nothing" was White's decisive answer. "You cannot help him because nothing can be done. He will have to live with it. And above all, in no case let anything happen to his other half"

"His other half? And what will happen to him if something happens to his other half?" Pearl asked, dreading the answer. She was sure she read about it before...

"Little by little, very slowly, he will cease to exist. He will disintegrate until there is only an empty shell of who he was before, although who knows, since he is half organic" the diamond replied with an absent look. Her white pupils fixed on the crystal gems, still lost "You already have your answer. You can go now" The great doors opened, and as if something were moving them. Pearl and Garnet left, dumbfounded.

~

"Blue Diamond?"

"Oh, Steven's friends. Welcome" the blue gem invited them, finding herself alone at that moment, and surrounded by what appear to be many empty bubbles "Excuse the mess. I was... cleaning" With that said, she turned her attention to Pearl and Garnet, curious "Why have you come? I know you don't like Homeworld, and you don't like us" she was referring to all the diamonds "Is everything okay with Steven?"

"Steven is fine. But we wanted to know what can you tell us about the GemMates." And just like the other time, Blue acted affected upon hearing those words, turning away from them with an expression of anguish.

"How...?"

"Steven. We have been investigating, and we believe that Steven has a GemMate" announced Pearl, feeling some panic inside her when she saw another diamond react negatively. All the things she's read about this topic couldn't possibly be the reason, right? It seemed as if it was affecting them more than it should. Or maybe I'm being insensitive, Pearl thought with some pity.

"Out" Blue ordered, not wanting to talk about it. It has to been a joke, right? Steven couldn't...

"Running from the truth is not going to make it all go away" was the last thing Garnet said before they both left, leaving Blue alone, still affected by their words. Specifically the last sentence because she knew more than anyone that she could not run. Not forever anyway.

~

"My Diamond, Pink Diamond's Pearl and the Fusion" announced Yellow Pearl, leaving shortly after, knowing that this must be something personal and too important for two of the members of the Crystal Gems to be there.

"Steven is not here" was not a question "What do you want?" she folded her arms, beside her a screen with indecipherable writing.

"We wanted to talk about the GemMates" Pearl began.

"Out" she did not give them time to say more than that.

"Excuse me!?" exclaimed the pale gem in frustration "This is enough. Obviously you know something about this and you don't want to tell us. We have talked to White and Blue first. Why do you react like this?"

"A pearl like you... of course you don't know anything"

"We know about Tourmaline, Tanzanite and Moissanite," she countered.

"Like I said, you know nothing"

"Then tell us what you know in order for us to understand" Garnet asked quietly. Perhaps they would have better luck with Yellow if they were more patient and rational.

"If I tell you, will you go away?" They both looked at each other, then looked at Yellow and nodded in unison. The yellow diamond snorted, but sat down in her seat and began to narrate. "This started shortly after our creation"

"Our... You mean, all the Diamonds?"

"Not exactly, and don't interrupt me again or I'm not going to tell you anything more" that closed Pearl's mouth, who was going to ask something else. "As I was saying. When we were created we knew everything we had to do. Create more gems, colonize, collect and store all the information we obtain. And that we did. We followed the protocol. We created guardians to protect us, workers to build what you see around you and intellectuals so that they could archive everything that happened and what we learned. Then we created even more types of gems, until we couldn't find anymore jobs for more gems of different types. We just needed more soldiers to facilitate the process of colonization and expand our empire"

Pearl made as if to interrupt, but Garnet stopped her with a simple glance. Yellow continued as if nothing happened.

"During that time, we realized that there were gems that had a special connection with some of their... partners. And although at first we thought it would be a mere distraction and an easy weakness to exploit, we noticed that these gems obtained certain advantages. At least, that was the case until that the misfortune of The Fall"

The Fall? Pearl thought with some disbelief when she heard that title, knowing what she meant by that.

"Tourmaline, Tanzanite and Moissanite. The last two were created with the mark of destiny" her gaze became wishful "Tourmaline was not happy about the close proximity between Tanzanite and Moissanite. She shattered Tanzanite -Fusions were allowed back then- the diamond explained in between, as if saying, see? That was the reason Tourmaline really attacked "Moissanite wanted to shatter her old friend as retaliation. Everyone knew what happens when you lose your gem mate. Something similar happened with the first gems created with the mark of destiny. But that was not accidental. Not like this time. White had to punish them with the Vindicta. After that, me and Blue were created. Era 0 had ended with a misfortune but it began with a new opportunity. And the other gems created with the Mark were either destroyed, or... Well, surely you have an idea" she said that last part bitterly. She was not proud of those times. It was a mess back then, but also the stronger their empire had been.

"Thank you" Garnet got up, gesturing for Pearl to do the same.

"Uh... No need, I think" Yellow answered uncomfortably.

~

It was too late again, so late that neither of them expected to find Steven awake. Nor Spinel or Amethyst. That is why, when they heard music and voices in the background, they were so surprised that for long minutes they did not move from where they were standing, and shrouded in darkness.

"What do we...?" Pearl began with her hands clasped. Garnet shook her head.

"Let them have their fun, while they still can"

To be continued...

Notes:

I decided to upload two chapters in a row because I did not want to make my readers suffer more for not having written anything in such a long time. So HERE YOU HAVE CHAPTERS 5 and 6! \: D /

(and sorry for any mistakes I've made :'3)

[fanfoolishness]

In Dreams commentary

SPOILERS AHOY HOY!

IN DREAMS:

Star Eyes Steven <3

He’s so happy to see them all

I love how happy Lars is!

Zach is fucking killing it with that squeeing!

COOKIE CAT, I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE EVIL!

Connie has sick dance moves

So does Onion, strangely????

Then again he IS Sour Cream’s little brother

he’s been raving since in utero

Zach also killing it with the panic and the gasping upon waking up

My heaaaart

Why do I keep having these horrible dreams?

So as I suspected Steven has been having problems sleeping for a while now

I suspect it’s been a problem since Bluebird (bad Gem invading his house) and A Very Special Episode (overbooking his schedule, continuing into Snow Day and those suggestive cups of tea on the bookshelf)

I STILL FUCKING LOVE PERIDOT SO MUCH

I also love that Steven is still a little shit when he wants to be I love him so much

“You know, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been having some weird dreams lately and --”

Oh Steven! I’m so proud of you! You’re actually trying to reach out instead of stuffing it all inside!!!

Peridot, you kinda fucked it up

awww he was trying!!!

Also oh shit Peridot called him a monster??? don’t be foreshadowing plz omg

YAY THEY’RE SO EXCITED

and then just like me and X-Files season 10 and 11 they were fucked over ;_;

THEIR RAGE IS SOOOOOO REAL I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

man oh man oh man I really need to find a good Peridot voice and write her and Steven together because their friendship is the BEST

Peri: Camp Pining Hearts helped me escape when everything around me was in chaos 

shit Peridot you don’t have to call me out about Steven Universe okay

MY SON

“I have to start wearing a tinfoil hat?”

fucking GOLD

“Might be fun to fix something that isn’t the entire universe!’

STEVEN YOU RIDICULOUS CREATURE JUST LET THE WORLD BE SOMETIMES, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIX IT ALL, IT ISN’T ALL UP TO YOUUUUUUU

also note: remind myself of this as it KEEPS FUCKING COMING UP IN THERAPY damn

no wonder I identify so hard with this little meatball

SILENT BEEKEEPER IS IN THE BIGFOOT POSE I CAN’T

I fucking LOST it about the poutine allergy

Like, rolled over and was laughing myself to death

STEFAN??? REALLY??????

STEVEN YOU’RE DRAWING AGAIN!!!!

I’M SO HAPPY

but you dumb shit why did you make someone who helps other people

now you need to play some music!

Chili before bed? This is such a dumbass idea

STAR PILLOW I CAN’T

Jazmin is a birder? I love it

Please tell Zach voices Stefan

Does Stefan count as Steven with stubble for my bingo card?

Uhhhh Stefan is kinda sexy af

Blue Diamond dolphin and Yellow PInap and  White heels aaaaah

PINK STEVEN OH NO NOT AGAIN!!!

You fell asleep and you started glowing pink!!! This happens regularly? Every time he’s sleeping now???????

This is such a good pensive Steeb

I’m so happy that crying Stefan is used for humor, I can’t even

GEMCOPTERS

So I see you’re sleeping great Steven

ooooh Spinel’s injector! first concrete reference we’ve had to the movie, isn’t it?

Nice to have the injector call back to baby Steven, since he was hit with the rejuvenator

Steven blushes at the idea of Stefan kissing Jazmin.  Worried that Connie won’t like you, are we?????

I know how you feel, Steven. At your age I was both totally enamored of the idea of kissing boys and also FUCKING TERRIFIED DON’T WANNA DO IT NOPE NOPE NOPE

“I can’t do Rodrigo dirty like that!” fucking dead

Peridot’s hand on the doorknob -- Steven it’s okay! she can come back!!!

Is Rodrigo voiced by J-10? because that would be a delight

MAD CONNIE! Is she mad because Stefan isn’t helping someone??? or mad because she’s going to be kissed???

CONNIE OBSIDIAN????????

because Obsidian saved Connie’s life?

is he scared of Obsidian’s power?

frightened of how difficult it was to be her?

scared of the circumstances in which she formed?

SO MANY POSSIBILITIES

I don’t think anyone called that that shot of Steven was going to be him squished by Connsidian’s foot

oh no oh no oh no he’s in his old room

head in his hands

oh Steven ;_;

A Cookie Cat poster is above the TV in this scene... hmmm

Staticdot is scary!

I’m so tired....

STEVEN stop killing me!!!!

I’m sorry I can’t do this for you --

I can’t

I can’t, he woke up crying, I CAN’T

Peridot -- hug him!!! yay!!! friends!!!!!!!! I love them sooooo much

omfg people are killing each other on CPH???

How many times does Steven have tears in his eyes in this episode?

Okay this got way too fucking long to include Bismuth. Separate post time!!!

[princessbunnyblossom]

First and Last of her Kind Ch 2 She wept in the garden

Sorry if this is short. Don’t forget to leave a comment and let me know what you think. All comments are greatly appreciated.

The small gem listened carefully as White Diamond spoke.

“Fellow gems of Homeworld. I White Diamondhave news regarding our beloved Pink Diamond..”

Spinel was confused what did she mean by that? Hearing something about that didn’t bode well with the situation she was in.

“After our dearest Pink returned home during a horrendous rebellion against our empire she had given up her form to give life to her beloved son.” White Diamond stated.

Spinel froze. Son?! Returned?! Spinel couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She didn’t want to hear it. It made listening so much more painful. So...pink actually came back. She had….a son. Spinel felt sick.

“Despite Pink no longer being with us we will still fight against this rebellion in her honor and champion forth a brand new era.” White Diamond said with a smile.

Spinel’s heart sank….new….new era? How long had she been standing here then?! The small pink gem tumbled. She didn’t like where this was going.

“And now my fellow gems I am proud to announce that Steven Universe if finally taking his rightful place on Pink Diamond’s throne.

No, no, no, no.

Spinel was close to choking on air. What did she say? Spinel felt so sick, she felt like vomiting,

“I know we all miss Pink very much, but today is the new beginning of a new era.”

No! No this couldn’t be happening! For the very first time in over six thousand years the small pink spinel began to move. She was so shocked, she couldn’t believe what she had just heard.

It was so hard to try and break free from the vines, they held her down so tight and Spinel was forced to pull her legs so hard that she winced in pain in the process of getting out of the vines. Her legs ached so much right now but she needed to see this broadcast. Finally the young gem managed to fire herself, it wasn’t easy though, the vines had cut her legs and ankles a little tearing her stockings and drawing blood from her and when she took her first step.

She fell.

Years without using her legs had finally caught up to her. Spinel stumbles upward and began running towards the communicator. Spinel tried to make it over to the communicator but without warning her legs gave out causing the poor girl to collapse and crash to the cold dead garden floor. Spinel groaned and looked up with a pained face at the screen.

“Welcome to era three.” White Diamond said.

Spinel couldn’t believe what she had heard. The small gem sat there as her big pink doll like eyes filled with tears. Spinel reached out towards the fading light of the screen and once it was gone Spinel sat up and could feel her face getting wet.

She was crying again.

Spinel held herself. A new era?! How long had she been waiting in the garden?! Had she truly been waiting foolishly for her diamond to return and to take her to earth. However that wouldn’t be the case, Spinel had now known that her diamond never intended in coming back for her and simply left her in the garden for over who knows how long!! Spinel could feel her eyes burning with osined tears and so she wept in the rotting garden.

Why?!

Why did this happen?! Wasn’t Pink happy with her being her best friend? Hadn’t Spinel been a good gem for Pink? Wasn’t she a good girl for Pink Diamond?....wasn’t she good enough? Spinel sobbed and wept pitiful and pained tears and held herself while her body trembled and shook with each pained and sorrowful sob that wracked her body. Pink Diamond didn’t want her as a friend. Spinel didn’t know what hurt more Pink Diamond not coming back for her or the fact that she was no longer wanted. The pain was something Spinel couldn’t describe.

The pink gem could feel her chest ache and burn. The memories of her diamond and herself began to darken into self doubt mixing with feelings of betrayal and sadness. Were they?....were they ever friends to begin with? All the games of tag and hide n seek. The many flower crowns she made Pink, the thousands of times she had told her diamond she loved her.

They,,,didn’t...matter?

Spinel didn’t matter to Pink Diamond she was only used when it was convenient and then left all alone when Pink no longer needed her. She eventually gre annoyed with Spinel and found her uninteresting and boring. So when the young diamond was given her very own colony she took the opportunity to leave Spinel all alone…..and never came back.

Pink Diamond abandoned Spinel and even when she had supposedly returned never came back for her.

Spinel was discarded like the sad boring toy she was….and now...broken.

A useless broken toy. A useless broken spinel.

Unlovable.

Spinel sniffed choking back a sob.

Why?!

Why did this Happen?! Was Spinel so annoying that her diamond left her? Was she that bad? The small pink gem tried to think, had she done something so bad that she deserved this? Did she say something wrong? Had she misbehaved? Did Spinel step out of line?

All of these questions lead to the same answer. No. Spinel had never said anything bad or insulting to her diamond, she had only the nicest of compliments from gestures to say about her. Spinel yes could be s very mischievous gem sometimes but after a good scolding from Pink a Diamond and a couple of tears later Spinel was back to herself again.,,,well kinda but if she was out of the rebellious faze and her diamond was happy then she was happy. Spinel wouldn’t even think of stepping out of line. Pink had told her what happened to “bad gems” if they ever rebelled or went against their diamonds. Those stories had scared Spinel out of her wits and she never stepped out of line from the sheer horrors of those stories.

So why did Pink ….why did sh-

‘Abandon you?’ Her mind whispered.

Spinel shuttered and shook her head not wanting to her that voice in her head. No! This wasn’t happening. This was just some kind of joke. Spinel could feel more tears bubble up in her eyes. A cruel sick messed up joke. Any minute now Pink was going to come through the warp pad and together they-

‘Shut up! She isn’t coming for you, she left you.’ Her mind hissed.

“N-no...I-I’m her,” Spinel said in a beer whisper so hard to hear.

‘Friend.’ Her mind finished her sentence. ‘ Pink made more friends than you ever will,’ Her mind bellowed.

Spinel swallowed a painful lump beginning to form in her throat.

‘She left because your no longer useful to her anymore.’

“St-stop.” Spinel whispered softly, holding her head.

‘Useless toy, that’s all you’ll ever be a toy to be laughed at and hurt.’

“No! Stop it! Stop it!” Spinel screamed her voice echoing off of the glass dome of the garden. It was so strange hearing her voice in that volume. Spinel could feel tears threatening to spill down her already soaked cheeks but the voice in her head didn’t stop tormenting her.

‘Pink Diamond abandoned you.’ ‘She never cared about you.’

Spinel could feel her gem ache and her eyes burn with more tears. Why? Why did she abandon Spinel? The small pink gem sniffled and tried not to cry so much but it was too much. Spinel wept in the already dead garden while her mind began torturing her.

‘Pink never loved you.’ ‘She made a whole new life without you.’ Spinel’s mind cackled   ‘She just used you like the shiny toy you once were.’

Spinel sniffed, shaking terribly. Pink left her….left her all alone.

TO ROT! Spinel choked back a hiccup She hid her face in her hands and softly wept which turned into outwardly crying and eventually turned into her wailing loudly. Her wailing echoed throughout the empty and dying garden garden shattering the silence with her pitiful weeping and her cries of sorrow. There was this unbearable pain in her gem, it was horrible and felt as if it were only getting worse. It felt like hot coals were resting inside of her gem and it burned so hot and so bright red. The pain felt like so,etching was clawing at her gem from the inside out.

It hurt. It hurt so much. Spinel cried and sobbed painfully. She desperately wanted this feeling to stop. The poor pink gem grabbed her head and began making a mixture between wailing and screaming. This pain it was too much, it was too much! Pink leaving her here to rot and no longer wanting her was so painful enough to just dissipate her form. Wait.

Dissipate her form?

The small pink gem sucked in a choked breath and looked down at her perfect gem.

‘Do it.’ A cold voice came inside her mind.

Spinel slowly reached her gem with her hands and shook and shuttered. She could do this..,all,she would need to do was pull and it would all be over. She wouldn’t be needed and she wouldn’t have the joy of staying in her gem replaying those sweet memories over and over and over again. Spinel shivered and bit her l up and just before she could do anything else the warp pad flashed. Spinel turned her head to the source of the warp pad so fast her head felt she thought she was seeing stars.

At first Spinel thought it was her diamond but that hope was gone quickly as it came. There were two topazes and one amethyst guard, they seemed to be looking for something….or rather….someone,

[starscheme]

Only You

Chapter Twenty: Whites Unwelcome Solution

Steven left his mothers room to find Lars standing in the middle of the disheveled living room.

"...you guys should think about cleaning..." Suggested Lars, trying to make light of the situation to start with. Steven hadn't really been himself for a while.

"Been busy," stated Steven evenly.

Lars took that short reply as a sign that Steven wasn't yet in the mood for jokes. "So, where is Sodalite?"

"Probably with Garnet. She's not allowed to leave the house alone."

Lars bristled a bit, "allowed?" He repeated. "...Steven...just because she agreed to help doesn't mean you can order her around."

"She's the only real weapon we have against that thing," replied Steven irately, "and she doesn't exactly fight well on her own. So Garnet needs to be with her if she leaves the house."

Lars sighed. He didn't like the way Steven was going about this, but at least Sodalite was being kept safe. However he could only imagine how scared she was right now. "Okay, yeah, I get it. Let's just contact Garnet. I promised Sodalite that I'd spend some time with her after the bakery closed."

Before Steven could answer, the warp activated and in a stream of light, Garnet appeared, carrying a limp, sickly looking Sodalite by the waist with an annoyed Amethyst beside them.

"Sodalite? What's wrong with her?" Asked Lars in alarm. The fusion was holding her like a sack and Sodalite looked as if she might throw up, her dizzy eyes flooding with tears. Each Gem was covered in dirt and they had small tears in their clothes which revealed tiny scratches on their bodies.

Amethyst appeared rather run down and annoyed, even Garnet looked as if she could use a break. Clearly their outing with Sodalite had been a bit vexing for them. "She panicked when we got too high and then screamed all the way down the cliff clinging to Garnet before everything went dark. When I could finally see again, we were all in different locations and it took forever to find her because she was clinging to the top of a tall tree and wouldn't jump down!"

"...to be fair, you cutting down the tree didn't help much," added Garnet.

"Yeah..." agreed Amethyst with an annoyed sigh. "Especially since all she did was scream all the way down and then everything went dark again. It's really starting to mess with my eyes."

"But did you find anything?" Asked Steven, uninterested in what caused their appearance.

Garnet shook her head and Steven felt his stomach drop. He said nothing and placed his hand over his heart where the locket was hidden beneath his shirt.

"But I'm sure we'll find something tomorrow!" Amethyst insisted with a forced smile. "We just need to cover more ground!"

Sodalite finally looked up, ready to apologize for not having any positive results for her Diamond, but when she spotted an irritated Lars beside him, she instead began to squirm in Garnets grip.

Garnet dropped the freckled Gem who face planted on the warp pad with an 'oomph.'

"H-hey, careful!" Lars groaned anxiously.

However, the fall didn't seem to bother Sodalite. She quickly scrambled to her feet and leapt at Lars in tears. "Lars, Lars! It-it was horrible! That Amethyst is-is out of control!"

Lars was nearly pushed down when Sodalite ran to hug him, but he steadily kept his balance and pat her head. "It's okay. You're fine now."

"Hey! I'm not out of control," argued Amethyst. "She's the one that just kept crying in that tree. What was I supposed to do? Just wait until she finished crying?! She cries all the time! We'd have been there all night!"

Sodalite spun herself to hide behind Lars' back, gripping at his jacket as she peeked over his shoulder. "...see?" Sodalite whimpered.

"We're all just a little impatient right now..." said Garnet, reaching over to place her hand at the top of Amethysts head to calm her. "Things will go better tomorrow."

"I want to go out there! I'm sick of sitting here and waiting!" Steven shouted with tears in his eyes.

"...Steven, we've been over this. It's not safe. Spinel wouldn't want to use you as bait." Garnet explained.

Sodalite whimpered once again and hid her face in Lars back, her hands trembling as she held tight to his jacket. Lars took this as a sign that things were about to get much worse. A gut feeling that was quickly confirmed when Steven turned pink and the house began to shake.

"What Spinel wanted?!" Steven repeated in a tearful rage. "Stop trying to speak for her! That thing made it clear that it wants ME! The best way to draw it out is for me to go-"

Suddenly, Pearl burst in through the front door in a panic. At first they thought she had seen the house shaking, but she didn't seemed concerned about that as she rushed inside. "Steven! The Diamonds, they're all here! They're landing right now! I thought you only asked for Yellows soldiers."

His pink glow slowly dimmed and Steven looked confused. "I did..." he answered, wondering why all of them would show up.

"Th-the Diamonds...? E-even...even Bl-Blue?" Asked Sodalite, frozen in fear. Blue was the one that made her and also the one that ordered her shattering. What would Blue Diamond do if she saw that she was still in one piece?

"You don't have to meet her," Lars said quickly. "Just stay in the house with me."

Steven was clearly agitated with the Diamonds arrival and honestly, seeing Sodalite and Lars was not helping his mood. Anything that resembled a couple annoyed him right now. Without waiting for anyone's opinions, Steven stomped out of the house to go and see just what they had all decided to gather here for.

The Diamonds were being lowered by a platform when Steven walked onto the beach, followed by the Crystal Gems.

"Steven!" White Diamond greeted with her usual delighted smile, always seemingly obtuse to his agitation. "It's been so long!"

"...what do you guys want?" He asked bluntly. Not in the mood to deal with them all at once. At least with Yellow it was straight to the point.

"Well, I brought the troops as we discussed, Steven," announced Yellow proudly, "but they insisted on coming along."

"Because it's not just Yellow that can help you," insisted Blue with an eager and hopeful smile as she leaned down a bit. "I have plenty of Gems that can help you too. Surely, my Gem would be better suited to searching for this strange creature of yours."

"He doesn't need your Gems when he can use mine," argued Yellow in a huff. "My Gems are precise and officiant. Why, if my troops had been deployed from the start we would have already found the thing."

"You're both going about this all wrong," interjected White, pushing her way between the other two Diamonds to get on her knees in front of Steven and his family. "Steven, I came because I thought of something that will definitely make you feel all better!" White seemed rather pleased with herself as she opened her hand and held it to Stevens eye level. Standing in the middle of her palm was a cute, noodle limbed, pink Spinel. Her Gem was cut in the shape of a heart and was displayed at the top of her right, gloved hand. She was in a pink and white overalled dress with large pink, Mary Jane shoes that squeaked when she walked, her curled heart pigtails bouncing with each step.

"I'm so excited to meet you!" The Spinel chirped out happily, hopping from Whites hand to greet Steven on the sand.

Pearl quickly clapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to spill out. They had only just lost Spinel and this one very much reminded Pearl of how she used to be. As Pearl turned away from the Spinel, Garnet stepped forward with clenched fists.

"You can't just replace someone that's precious!" Demanded the fusion angrily.

"What? But of course you can replace a Gem," replied White with a straight face. "All Spinels are made for entertainment. Pink adored hers and since Steven was so upset that his got broken, I made him a new one. Now he won't have to be lonely."

Steven couldn't believe what was happening. For several minutes now, he'd been silent, simply staring down at this new Spinel in disbelief. Had White really come here thinking this Gem could simply take Spinels place?

"Oh no..." Lars mumbled, staring down at the awkward scene from the beach house window, Sodalite still hiding behind his back.

"So Steven, what do you think? She isn't exactly like the old one, but if she had never broken, she would have looked like this the whole time," explained White happily.

Garnet was practically trembling in anger. That White Diamond would dare to try something like this was proof of how little she still cared for individual life. "You—!"

Though Garnet was prepared to tell White off, she and the other Gems were distracted when Steven began to laugh. A bitter, angry, empty laugh.

Pearl wiped her eyes and turned back to Steven in concern, "Steven..."

"You...you really think...I'd be happy with this?" Growled Steven through gritted teeth now, making it a point not to look at the Diamonds.

White seemed confused as she lowered herself further to get a closer look at Stevens expression. "You're not? I thought you wanted a Spinel to replace—"

"YOU CAN'T REPLACE HER! NO ONE CAN!" Steven screamed, lifting his head to reveal the river of tears flowing down his cheeks. His body turned pink instantly and his eyes nearly glowed as a shockwave was formed from his voice, pushing the Diamonds back slightly. Yellow and Blue were immediately concerned at Stevens very 'Pink' like outburst, but White only frowned, almost offended that he had so harshly rejected her gift.

"Spinels are rather rare to make you know," replied White, "but I guess if you really don't like her, I can make you a different Gem as a playmate. Oh! Perhaps something-"

"Spinel wasn't a 'playmate.' She was...she's my best friend..." seethed Steven.

"Well of course, that's what Spinels are made for." White Diamond shrugged, still confused. She honestly didn't see the difference between this Spinel and the old one besides that this one wasn't broken.

Blue stepped forward and shook her head, "White...perhaps you shouldn't press the issue so much..."

Steven hates feeling this way. He hated feeling so much anger towards someone. How dare she come here and mock his feelings for Spinel as if they meant nothing at all. As if another Spinel could step in and Steven would just fall in line like his love never existed or was so easily broken.

"Don't be sad," pleaded the new Spinel with a smile as she reached for him.

"DONT TOUCH ME!" Steven demanded in disgust. His voice booming once again, this time causing the Spinels Gem to crack from the pressure of the sound.

At once, Steven gasped, staring wide eyed at the innocent Gem, now trying to maintain her form. He cracked her. Hurt her. None of this was her fault. If anyone deserved it, he'd have preferred White be the one to suffer.

"Arrrgh!" Steven groaned, closing his eyes tight. These hateful thoughts that plagued him only seemed to be getting worse. Spinel was gone...and he was just angry that the world had to keep turning as if she was never here. He knew it didn't make sense to be spiteful of everyone, but it wasn't fair that she was gone. Why did it have to be Spinel? "It's my fault! I'm sorry!" Shouted Steven as broken pieces of his own shield began to form around him.

It's true. Steven knew it. If anyone was to blame for all this. It was him. That creature picked Spinel because of him. It chose her because he loved her. Pearl was right, they never should have tried to be together. He never should have realized how he felt. If anything, he should have kept his feelings locked away. At least then Spinel would still be here with him. Even if he could never be with her as a lover, he just wanted her back. His love for her had only caused her pain. How was he supposed to live with himself knowing that?

The ground was turning into a crater beneath his feet and though everyone was inclined to help him, they were held up in doing so when everything went pitch black around them.

Steven flinched at the sudden blanket of darkness. His heart was beating so fast, it was now the only sound to fill the void.

"So-Sodalite?" He began, sure that this was her doing.

Though he couldn't see anything, he felt a small, trembling hand push against his chest, pressing firmly over his heart.

"I-I'm sorry..." wept Sodalite, slowly taking in all the terrible feelings that Steven had raging inside of him. All that pain was now hers for the moment and it hurt so much. The mere pressure of it threatened to weigh her down. "This is-it's all I can do..."

Steven's heart rate began to even out and his tears finally stopped. Sodalite's purification didn't exactly make him feel better, just numb, but it was still better than the agony from before. "...thanks..."

Sodalite was happy to be of use, but it was hard to smile through the pain that she took from Steven. His empathic abilities surely didn't help when he was feeling like this. She kept her hand to his chest even after it was done, just to make sure he didn't fly off the handle once again. However, perhaps it was because she was close to Steven, or the fact that she was touching him, Sodalite felt something familiar.

"Spinel?" Sodalite questioned aloud.

"What?" Asked Steven before the darkness lifted and he was suddenly standing back on the beach with Sodalite nowhere to be found.

[remember-the-fanfics]

Memories (Garnet x Reader)

Being Garnet's s/o while she was reset.

-

"Who are you?" Asked the Pink and Blue gem to the human that was watching Pearl fret over Greg. They looked at Garnet.

"I'm (Y/n). It's n-nice to meet you." Said (Y/n) being nervous to see Garnet like this.

"Are you alright? You seem nervous." Asked Garnet, putting her hand on their shoulder.

"I'm fine! I'm gonna go see if Greg needs help with Pearl and getting stuff together." Said (Y/n) rushing to leave the fusion.

"Such a strange human." Said Garnet before following (Y/n).

"Greg do you need any help?" Asked (Y/n), getting Greg's attention.

"If you want. I still need to give to my storage space for somethings." Said Greg before seeing Garnet behind (Y/n). "Garnet! Do you wanna come and help too?"

"O-okay!" Said Garnet following the others to the van, getting in the back with (Y/n) as Pearl drove and Greg was in the passenger seat.

Garnet wasn't expecting it to suddenly move when Pearl start to drive. Garnet moved closer to (Y/n) and held onto them.

"What was that?" Asked Garnet.

"The car starting and moving. It's normal, Garnet." Said (Y/n), with a smile as they were trying to calm the gem.

"Oh. Thanks for telling me." Said Garnet, sitting up better but not letting (Y/n) go nor noticing (Y/n)'s reaction.

-

"Garnet they both are the same type of cords." Said (Y/n), seeing Garnet tangled in the red and blue cords. "But if you want I'm pretty sure Greg can still bring the extra one."

"Of course. We usually always need an extra." Said Greg before going to stop Pearl putting another thing in her gem.

"You are very nice." Said Garnet, as (Y/n) help her up and get untangled.

"Thank you, Garnet." Said (Y/n), they smiled at Garnet. "We probably head to the warehouse. I think Steven and Amythest has a plan to get Pearl's memories back." They said mostly talking out loud.

"(Y/n)!" Yelled Amethyst, rushing to hug them.

"I'm happy your back!" Said (Y/n) hugging Amythyst back. "I'm guess you and Steven have a plan for Pearl." They said as they let Amythyst go.

"Of course, we are genius after all but-." Said Amythyst before looking at Garnet, who was looking at look particular. "You okay about?" Said Amythyst point at Garnet.

"Yeah, I was nervous at first but I've gotten use to it at the moment." Said (Y/n).

"Come on, Um Greg requires the three of you in his vehicle before leaving." Said Pearl showing up and leaving again.

"Let's go get Pealr's pieces then." Said Amythyst.

"Come on Garnet, we don't want to miss this." Said (Y/n).

"Okay!" Said Garnet before grabbing (Y/n)'s hand. "So I wouldn't lose you."

"Okay?" Said (Y/n), knowing they were just going to the van.

-

(Y/n) was stuck in the back with the Garnet and Pearl because Greg want to drive and Amythyst call shot gun. Garnet has yet to let go of their hand.

Steven and Spinel took Lion to the warehouse because there wasn't enough room in the van.

"So does being a fusion feel?" Asked Amythyst to Garnet.

"It's different from being one person. You feel what you feel but also their too. It's hard to explain." Said Garnet.

"It's an experience?" Suggested (Y/n) remembering Garnet's past words to Stevonnie.

"That's a good explanation, thank you (Y/n)." Said Garnet.

-

(Y/n) wasn't expecting Greg and Steven to fuse and starting to float. They were start stuck as Spinel and Garnet was. The two seem to be friends in their reset state.

It got more strange when Lion showed up to pick up Garnet.

"You wanna join, (Y/n)?" Asked Garnet, holding out her hand. (Y/n) took her hand and got on Lion as he start to float in the pink aroma as everyone else.

(Y/n) held on to Garnet being nervous of heights but was still amazed at the view.

"Wow. The view is amazing up here." Said (Y/n).

"I agree." Said Garnet, who just looked very happy but the song soon ended with everyone on the ground and unfused.

"Steven!" Said (Y/n) seeing Steven, who was clearly unwell. "Are you okay?" They asked as Garnet handed him his jacket.

"I'm fine, has anyone seem Spinel?" He asked before seeing her run off. He questioned Pearl for clues before running after Spinel.

"We should probably wait for them in the house." Said Pearl.

-

"What's this?" Asked Garnet.

"A spork. It's like a mix of a fork and spoon." (Y/n) explained to her before Steven rushed down before showing the original looking Spinel.

"Oh. Did you get a new hair cut Spinel?" Asked Garnet. Connie appeared with Lion and her sword, ready to fight someone and ended them accidentally scaring Greg to wash his hands.

-

(Y/n) strayed away after Spinel fixed the problem but afterwards it just got worst with the rejuvenator falling out of Steven's pocket. Then everything got worst which Spinel reactivating the Injector.

"(Y/n)!" Yelled Amythyst clearly blown away from the action with Pearl. "You okay?!"

"Yep." Said (Y/n)

"You should leave (Y/n). You could get injured here or worst." Said Pearl. (Y/n) understood where she's coming from.

"You're probably right. I'll go see if some people didn't make the shelter." Said (Y/n) before running off avoiding the Pink cracks in the ground.

-

And (Y/n) stuck back in Greg's van.

"Greg!" Said (Y/n) as the bio-poison got to his arm.

"I'm fine, nothing to difficult I promise." He said before starting to drive again.

(Y/n) was just hoping everyone else to fairing well. Definently Steven, he seem so sick.

-

It was over. (Y/n) was happy that the threat was over.

"Oh thank goodness." Said (Y/n) seeing Steven healing Greg's arm.

"Did you miss me?" Asked Garnet behind (Y/n), scaring them.

"Garnet!" They yelled before hugging her. "Oh I'm happy that you're are you again. Not that there was nothing wrong with you that didn't remember." Said (Y/n).

"I know." Said Garnet before (Y/n) saw Steven kissing the ground.

"That actually works?" They said getting closer to the patches of grass.

"He's gonna need alot of water. Hydration is important when it comes to smooching." Said Garnet and then the Diamonds showed up.

-

(Y/n) thought it was strange that Spinel went with the Diamonds but she probably deserved their attention as much as she's been not given any.

"I'm happy you stayed by my side." Said Garnet.

"I wasn't just gonna leave you to get yourself tangled in cords." Said (Y/n). "But I did miss you even though you were you. You didn't your memories."

Garnet hugged (Y/n).

"If it makes you feel better, that me, was getting attached to you as well." Said Garnet, kissing their cheek. "You seem to draw, no matter what I remember."

"Okay, that was very cheesy and sweet at the same time." Said (Y/n), laughing.

-

Oof.

I enjoyed this.

9/10/19

[opalgelance]

I’ve decided that I loved Homeworld Bound, Everything’s Fine, and I Am My Monster. More so than a lot of SU episodes. But I hated The Future. They could’ve done so much more in those ten minutes. And I don’t like that Steven is leaving Beach City. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

One, he’s 16 (possibly 17 as months passed in show between SUF episodes, and it’s been a few months since I Am My Monster in show) He’s way too young to just go off on his own, driving around the country? And he said he’d travel all 39 states to decide where to stay? Like Steven, 16-17 year old gem hybrid with no education and no social security number is going to move to Vermont, buy a house, and get a job. I know Steven Universe is an escapist fantasy but I don’t think many people’s (especially kids’) escapist fantasy is to move out and own a house with a modest job LOL

Two, I feel like the whole show, Growing Pains especially, said that Steven needs that support system, his family. I know they said they’d come visit but I think it’s healthy for him to always have someone available, to feel like someone’s around and nearby to go to. Personally, I do feel this way. I need the support system I’ve built nearby, always available, or else I spiral into depression. It’s only been a few months since I Am My Monster, I have no idea why anyone, in show and the writers, thought Steven was so healed now (if not completely healed in their eyes) that he could just leave? Steven said he would be able to talk to his therapist on the road, but Steven is in no condition to be making such drastic, life changing decisions.

Three, which I really hate, is how final they made this decision. They cleared out Steven’s room (and had Greg move in), gave away his stuff, said permanent sounding goodbyes, and most importantly, at one point said “You know I might never come back?” WHAT THE FUCK??? OF COURSE you’re going to come back, if only to visit, but the writing made it sound like Steven would never, EVER come back. Garnet saying they would come visit, Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth acting like they’d never see him again, it’s so strange. Everyone remembers that Warp Pads exist, right? Just place a Warp Pad at Connie’s school, and wherever Steven decides to stay (which again, he’s 16-17, a one of a kind human-gem hybrid, has no education, and from what we’ve seen in future, has trouble being around humans he doesn’t know. He’s not going to buy a house and get a job in the midwest or something), and it’s literally faster than driving from Little Homeworld to the Temple. And come on, he’s not going to just never visit the gems or Greg ever again. What, they’re always going to visit him? It sounds a lot like Greg and Rose actually. Leaving and never looking back. He’s supposed to learn from his parents, not make the same mistakes.

Four, what does this mean? Like, Steven is not only a human-gem hybrid, but a diamond and savior of the universe. I get that he wants to focus on the human part of himself, and doesn’t like thinking of himself as a diamond, but he is. How can he just forget about all of the gems he’s promised to help over the course of the series? A few people have pointed out that Centi, the Nephrite Steven wanted to heal first, appears in the intro to SUF but never in the series. How is he just going to leave not only her, but seemingly all of his gem self behind? How can he just chill in a house, at 16-17, somewhere in the US, while corrupted gems still need to be healed, and colonies need to be freed? I know that he needs to help himself for once, not others. But with how final this whole thing sounds, what if he never comes back? That sounds crazy, right?

Five, what about Homeworld? It’s totally valid for him to never want to go back there, but he also has friends there, like Topaz and Spinel. And as much as I hate it, the Diamonds are technically his family. If he didn’t want anything to do with the Diamonds they should’ve included them while helping Steven in I Am My Monster, or better yet, shown that while the Diamonds and Spinel have improved themselves, the scars they’ve left Steven with are too deep to ever truly be healed.

Six, which is really important, they’ve left no room for a continuity or fanfiction/fancomics, which really just stabs the fans in the back. You can never have Steven convince your Gemsona to try Little Homeschool, or help free a colony, or whatever you want to write about, unless you want to disrespect canon (which you should, write/draw what makes you happy, regardless of canon) But especially with younger fans, it’s stifling their creativity. As a kid, if I’d watched this finale, I would’ve thought, “Oh no, I lost my chance to make a story and a Gemsona because Steven’s gone now” and that’s not how to engage your audience.

I think overall if they said he’d be back in a few months or even a couple of years, that’d be fine. But with how the dialogue is written it seems very final in a bad way. Or just made it more of an open ending somehow. If they had made Steven leaving temporary, I think I would’ve been content with the finale.

[blueberryrock]

Hey guys and gals, so it turns out that they released the new suf early on the cn app, and not only can I not watch it early (not too mad about that) but my favorite character (Blue Diamond) has a freaking song!!!!

I am very tempted to listen to it, but no, I must stay stronger. Enjoy the new chapter

(Yellow's pov)

I angrily pace around my room, how could Blue not react to news like that, there is a difference from bottling up your emotions and not showing any at all.

And I should know, but I expected her to start crying or for her to show some sort of emotion. I take my helmet off and I throw it on my bed, I run my gloved hand through my coarse hair.

I let out an exhausted sigh, I walk to my bed and I fall onto my back, I begin to pluck strands of hair from my scalp.

She knows what happened with Pink, and how she turned into Steven, and he has none of her memories...I don't want to lose her too, but she's making the rest of her time hard for me to spend it with her.

Or is it me that's doing it? Maybe I should message her...Maybe I should talk to Steven about this? I don't know how much help he will be, he did say that he doesn't remember much when he was a baby.

Maybe I should see if that Garnet would be willing to talk, she was there when Pink was pregnant with Steven, but I highly doubt that she'll want to talk to me.

I should just get some work done and deal with everything later. I sluggishly sit up, I pull my hand out from my hair and I shake off a clump of freshly plucked hair.

I groan and rub my face with my hands, I should definitely do something productive now. I groan again as my big yellow doors open.

"Yellow" Stevens small voice echo in the room.

"Yes" I lay my head in my hands.

"I came to check on you. Spinel told me what happened after I left" Steven makes his way over to my bed, I offer him to jump in my hand, and I gently put him on the plush yellow bed "so what's wrong?"

I cross my arms on my chest "it's nothing, i'm fine" I grind my teeth together.

"Yellow" Steven says somewhat annoyed.

"Fine, it's just that we learned that we probably lost one of the gemlings, and Blue didn't even get upset or start crying" I mutter out, a small arc of lighting forms from my knee to my mid-thigh.

"And?" Steven presses.

"And, I'm over here about to cry over it" I curl my hand into fists, more of an angry cry then a sad one.

Steven places his tiny hand on my thigh "maybe, she's just dealing with it differently, everyone does. Take me and Amethyst for example, in stressful situations I tend to get emotional, and Amethyst tends to get aggressive and angry towards others" Steven explains "so, you're frustrated and angry while blue could try and hide it from us, but she's probably just as upset as you are"

I sigh and fall onto my back and I accidentally Steven flying into the air and back a few feet "you're probably right, maybe I should message her?"

"Maybe give her some space to" Steven walks back to where he was sitting.

I turn my head to look at him, "once again, you're probably right" I run my hand through my hair again, more lighting forms. Ugh, I still don't know why she didn't seem to care.

I start picking strands of hair from my head, and Steven seems to notice "Yellow, what are you doing?" He asks worriedly.

"What? I'm not doing anything" I say as I try to shake off a clump of hair.

"That" he points to the clump.

"Oh, it's a habit that I do when I'm...thinking" I sit back up. "Well I normally run my hand through my hair when I'm thinking, but if I'm nervous I tend to start pulling some of it"

I finally just brush the clump of hair off my hand and onto the floor. "Well you need to stop that and relax" Steven says.

"Well everything that I would want to do, you wouldn't find very relaxing" I look down at him.

"Oh, maybe we can go to your sauna" Steven says cheerfully.

"It might make me feel better" I slightly smile at him.

"Then let's go" Steven leaps off of my bed.

"Alright alright, but let's stop by Spinel's room so you can change" I push myself off the bed and exit my room with Steven.

(Blue's pov)

"Yellow, I'm very sorry that I didn't react to the very concerning news, umm, it's just that the shock of the news didn't affect me then but now I've cried for an entire cycle about it. Please, I'm just as torn up about this as you are, please let me speak to you in person" I speak into my recording device "i-i'm sorry, if you let me speak to you, I c-can fix it. I am sorry"

I hit the stop button of my recording device, I lay my head on my vanity in shame. If only I could talk to her, I could fix it.

I lift my head and I look back at the floating screen, my eyes turn to look at the send button. My finger hovers over it, but instead I close the screen.

I sigh. I wish I were back in the old days, not for the colonizing part, but for how awkwardly adorable Yellow used to be around me. Back then, my feelings for her were so simple, but now everything is so damn complicated.

Back then, if I didn't show any emotion Yellow would've been fine with it, but now I'm like a monster to her.

Stars, why can't I just be happy? Or at the very least enjoy what's happening? I place my hand on my belly, I dig my nails into my skin, carefully trying not to draw any blood.

Fuck it. I'm going to go and see her, and maybe, just maybe, tell her how I actually feel. I push back my chair and stand up, I quickly walk out of my chambers, down the hall, past White's room, and straight towards Yellow's room.

I stop right in front of her door, my hand is barely an inch away from the panel. Should I do this? Yellow said to leave her alone. What if she won't talk to me....What if she will hate me for this. What if she...okay, calm down. One of worst things she can do is tell you to go away or she will tell you that she doesn't love you anymore and that she doesn't want to see you ever again...

I quickly retract my hand away from the panel, maybe I should think about this more, no, I've done enough thinking. I slam my hand on the panel, the big golden doors open and warm air hits me.

"Yellow?" I poke my head in the room "I've come to talk to you" I walk into Yellow's room.

"I know you said to leave you alone, but I'm too anxious to really do that" the doors close behind me. I walk further into the seemingly empty room.

I sigh, I guess she left. Probably to talk to White about what a horrible gem I am, or to Spinel, o-or Steven. She's probably telling them that they should stay away from an emotionless monster.

I sit down on Yellow's golden bed, I rest my head in my hands. Stars, I drove her away, I should just go back to my chambers and-. I hear the sound of yellow's big golden doors open, and I excitedly look up to see Yellow diamond and Steven walking into the room.

"Blue?" Steven calls out surprised.

I weakly glance at Yellow, if looks could shatter, I'd be gone a long time ago.

"What are you doing here" Yellow says angrily.

"I-i came to apologize" I scramble to my feet.

"I don't want to hear it" Yellow replies coldly.

"Yellow, you should hear her out, cause the only thing you should do is tell her to leave" Steven says.

"Fine" Yellow says through gritted teeth "but make it quick"

I take an unesscary breath in "Yellow, I-I am very sorry, I didn't mean for it to turn out this way" I start breaking down "I am very upset that we've lost one of the gemlings, it's j-just that the shock of i-it didn't hit me until I caused you t-to storm out"

A few tears roll down my cheeks "we both probably know that I don't have a whole lot of time left, a-and I don't want to spend it torn apart because of something that I've done" I look at her through watery eyes.

She walks over to me, she wraps her warm arms around me as I sob into the crook of her neck.

"Shh it's okay" Yellow whispers in my ear as she strokes my hair. I watch Steven quietly leave the room, after more crying and my aura almost escaping, we end up on Yellow's bed.

"Does this mean you forgive me? I understand if you don't" I look down at my hands.

"I haven't decided that yet, but Blue" I look at Yellow with semi-watery eyes. "I want you to be completely honest with me"

Oh stars.

"Is there something else that's wrong?"

And ta-da! I'm not good at emotional scenes or apologizing scenes, but I think I did okay. Hope y'all enjoy that, I would like to say I'm taking a break this week, so now new chapter till the 4 of April.

Bye!

[psychosistr]

FOWL Facets- Chapter 10

Summary: Steelbeak tells the girls he’s alive, and Domino tells everyone what he has planned for the future.

Notes: Ah, a short, sweet chapter to close out this emotional rollercoaster of a story. Hope you guys enjoyed it ^^

-First Chapter-

When arriving back in the main entryway, Steelbeak is hardly surprised to find a pair of striped arms wrapping around him from his shoulders to his ankles like a pair of snakes and pulling him right up to an overly-excited spinel hanging from the ceiling by her legs.

“Steely, you did it!” Loony stretches her neck and turns her head so that she’s looking at Steelbeak right-side up. “You made Dommy’s bad feelings go down!”

Steelbeak shrugs with one of his usual arrogant smirks. “Eh, what can I say? I’m just THAT friggin’ good.” After a minute, though, his face changes to a more strained smile. “Hey, Loons?”

“Yeah?” The stretchy spinel tilts her head curiously, still smiling brightly at him.

“Be a doll an’ put me down, would ya?” His eyes flick poignantly towards the floor a couple feet below.

Loony suddenly realizes that she is, in fact, still keeping the melanite suspended mid-air and gives him an apologetic smile. “Whoopsie-doodles! Sorry, Steely!” She sets him back down and unwraps her arms from around him.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, stretch- no harm done.” He tells her while fixing his suit.

“Surprisingly.” A voice from the lounging area beside him says.

Turning his head, to get a better look, Steelbeak is even less surprised to see Gandra reclined back on one of the benches while idly scrolling through something on a projected hologram-screen coming from the watch on her wrist. “And what’s that supposed t’ mean?”

“That you’re still alive.” The star-sapphire replies bluntly. “I’m surprised you made it through that in one piece.”

“Guess I’m just lucky.” Steelbeak’s eyes narrow at the other chicken, before he regains his earlier smirk. “Either that or SOMEONE’S lost her touch.” Oh, how he loves that challenging and frustrated glare he can always draw out when he pushes her buttons just right. “Somethin’ wrong, stardust?” He asks with the fakest sounding attempt at sympathy in the universe. “Hey, you ain’t lookin’ too happy there, toots. Shouldn’t we be celebratin’? I mean, it’s not like you really WANTED me gone, right?”

Gandra rolls her eyes at his taunting and makes her screen bigger to block out his smug face. “Think I’d celebrate more if you’d actually kicked the bucket..”

“So sorry t’ disappoint ya, Gee, but goin’ down that easy ain’t exactly my style.” The only thing Steelbeak enjoys more than teasing the star-sapphire for her height is calling her out on the extremely rare occasions where her predictions end up being off- it’s one of his favorite pastimes.

His laughter is interrupted by a voice too deep to be Gandra’s. “No, but being loud enough to shake the walls certainly is.” Turning to look at the hall he’d come in through earlier, Steelbeak sees Domino entering the main room as well.

“DOMMY!” Loony drops down from the ceiling next to the obsidian, arms ready to wrap him up in an excited hug. She stops just an inch shy, however, when a single black hand is raised in a silent request. “Oopsies!” Her arms instantly stop and retract before they even have a chance to grab the other gem. “Sorry, Dommy..”

Domino gives her a half-smile and shakes his head. “It’s fine, Loony..just..not right now, okay? Maybe later.” After receiving a happy and agreeable nod in return, Domino redirects his attention to the room as a whole, his demeanor shifting into something far more serious. “F.O.W.L. has been compromised by a Diamond loyalist.”

“If it’s true, then that’s a pretty big deal.” The screen in front of Gandra vanishes as she sits up properly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Domino answers definitively. “I always thought it was odd that none of my requests for information were ever answered or even followed up- if anything, there should have at least been a negative reply- but we were always sent out on long-term missions immediately following a request, most likely to distract me from how much time had passed. If it had happened only once or twice, it could have been blamed on coincidence, or carelessness, or a report falling through the system’s cracks..but I’ve submitted more than eight hundred requests over the years and have never ONCE received an acknowledgement on it.” He shakes his head, the look on his face showing his frustration. “At that point, it’s impossible to call it an accident: Someone within F.O.W.L.- someone very high up in the chain of command- has been intercepting my requests because they KNOW the truth about what happened and are trying to keep people from finding out.”

“So,” His partner looks down at him with a raised brow. “Whattaya wanna do ‘bout it, Deedee?”

“I’m going to find out who that person is and remove him, and any of his co-conspirators, from F.O.W.L. personally.” Domino reigns in the deadly intent of his voice so that he can speak to his team calmly once again. “It won’t be easy…and, if I’m not careful, I could be branded as a traitor, or worse..but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’ll take one of the back-up pod-ships and try to keep in contact with you as much as possible with updates on my location and any information I find.” He looks at the assortment of dark gems in the room with him, at the gems who’d become his team, his family, over the past few thousand years, knowing that, this time, he couldn’t ask them to-

“Count me in!” A cheerful voice to his left says.

Domino looks beside himself to see Loony giving him a confident smile. “Loony, you can’t-”

“We’re a packaged deal, right?” The smile on Loony’s face is as bright as ever, but the softness of her voice and the look in her eyes are far more meaningful. “Where you go, I go- that’s the rule, remember?”

Domino tries to fight the smile forming on his own beak, but it’s practically impossible. He’s not surprised at all to have his own words thrown back at him in such a supportive way. After all, what else would he expect from the gem who was practically a sister to him?

“Guess I’m in, too.” To Domino’s surprise, he sees Gandra get up from her seat and look at him with an indifferent roll of her eyes- the effect greatly diminished by the small smile on her face. “If White Diamond messes things up with F.O.W.L., where else am I gonna go when I’m bored?”

He knows the star-sapphire is just putting up a front. While she’s still the newest member of the crew, she clearly enjoys her spot on the team and the freedom it offers her. Domino and Steelbeak may still be quietly keeping to their promise of seeing anyone else on the ship besides themselves and Loony as expendable, but they knew that Gandra was handy to have around and, given that they scouted her and invited her to join F.O.W.L. themselves, they knew she was more trustworthy than some of the agency’s more senior members.

“Three of you crammed int’ one teeny tiny pod? That’s gonna be a pain.” Domino looks to his other side to see Steelbeak grinning down at him. “Tell ya what, short fuse- why don’t ya just stay here and we ALL take the Black Iron Comet? It’d be roomier AND faster.”

Domino stares up at the melanite before, with a fondly exasperated sigh, he closes his eyes and shakes his head, unable to keep the equally fond smile off of his face. He should have seen that coming. Steelbeak’s been his partner for more than eight and a half thousand years now. Time after time the melanite has proven how far he’s willing to go for him and has more than earned his trust- the incident in his room just a few minutes ago serving as yet another prime example of his partner’s loyalty.

“I suppose you do have a point.” He looks to each gem in the room as he speaks, his voice serious but far less grave than it had been a minute ago. “From now on, we’ll need to be prepared for anything. We’ll have to be extremely careful with who we trust- any information we find stays with us until we know for sure whom we can trust within F.O.W.L. and who we cannot. We’ll also need to stick together to avoid being caught by the enemy- no going off on our own anymore.” He briefly side-eyes one gem in particular after that comment, the rooster rolling his eyes but nodding in agreement at the subtle jab regarding his recent capture. “Now,” He gives the gems around him a confident smirk. “Let’s show those traitors what happens when you double-cross F.O.W.L.”

The chorus of agreeing cheers around him makes Domino’s confidence in their future grow ten-fold. After all, with a team this good backing him up, not even the Diamonds will stand a chance.

<-Previous Chapter

End Notes: And there we have it- an end to one story, but the beginning of a new one. This group was SO much fun to write and I definitely have plans to do more with all of them in the future after I get the main universe more developed. I’m thinking of having the FOWL Facets story run as a sort of side-story to the Fearsome Facets universe that will occasionally cross over with the FOWL group tracking down the origins of the cluster before everyone comes together in the big series finale.

Wanted to give another HUGE thank you to both @eleanorose123 / @thefriendlyfour and @deldraws19 for allowing me to write this story using their awesome OC’s! They’re wonderful and I look forward to doing so much more with them later on ^^

[toxicfucksaround]

Big ass art dumb, scroll through at own risk

Hello guys! It has been absouletly forever since the last time I posted anything here, I’m sorry. I kinda forgot I had a tumblr for awhile. But I’m back, with a whole new, much, much better artstyle compared to before.

So, in honor of this, I decided to start posting again, starting with an unbearably long art dump going from oldest to newest art on this computer so, scroll at you’re own risk.

Here is my first attempt at Pixel art in awhile, my girl Zoey when she was younger and being bullied or something.

Next is art of Marina and Mark, her awful ex, brought to you by the song Show and Tell by Melanie Martinez.

Next is my flower bab Mono, a skeleton who became the unwilling host of a parasitic like flower, which loooves sunflower seeds for some reason. The flower doesn’t hurt Mono, rather it protects him, as without a host, the flower will die.

Now meet Adelaide and Juniper, Mono’s moms. One is a stay at home mom that grows fruits and vegetables in their large backyard, and the other one is a flower scientist who studies all sorts of strange and gorgeous flowers, as well as experiments with them.

Meet Green Pearl, half of a permi-fusion based off a really pretty gem I saw, the Watermelon Tourmaline.

Meet Star Ruby, the other half of my Permi-fusion.

Next up is the fusion itself, Watermelon Tourmaline.

After that comes an OC I made named Matthew. He was made after I listened to Honey I’m Home too much and decided to make a character who’s a sweet christian trans boy who’s dad beats him because said dad is an asshole and an alcoholic.

Next two is a Hazbin Hotel OC before and after she died, who in life was a cannibalistic serial killer and in death became even worse. She’s not actually a vampire, I just remember reading somewhere that butterflies drink the blood of dead things and I thought it was cool.

Next up is Marina dressed in three outfits heavily inspired by the GHOST songs in this order; Apetite of a People Pleaser, Honey I’m Home, and Happy Days.

Next is a Blue Spinel OC I made, simply because the idea of entertainment gems is too fantastic to not make twenty versions of, come on. Besides, Spinel’s are great. This is my Blue Spinel, who’s gem is on her back like lapis. Her entertainment is mostly singing as well as a few smooth jokes.

After Blue Spinel is Liliac Spinel, one I plan to redesign in the future,I wanted to give her a more clowny apperance, and she acts a lot like the Spinel we got to know in the movie before Pink abandoned her, except that she can actually read social clues and knows when to calm down and give people a bit of space,

Next is my Blue Moonstone, and don’t worry I just recently redesigned her so, she looks better.

Next is criminal Marina and criminal Zoey, who I won’t get into right now but maybe I will later.

Next is Moth Zoey and Snake Marina, part of a mate au that I won’t get into right now but I will at a later time.

Next is my little Sally Face OC Tabitha, known affectionatly by her dad as Tabi Cat. Tabitha is... definetly one of my weirder OCs, as she’s obsessed with demons and ghosts, and actually isn’t scared of seeing demons or ghosts around the apartments. However, she is unbelievably angry at all the poor, innocent deaths that take place thanks to the cult, expressing her outrage often. She exists in two different timelines, one where she dies to the cult, and the other where she lives and through it and backs up Sal in court, effectively keeping him out of jail.

Next is a fursona I made. I’m not a furry, I just thought it would be fun to draw, although there is nothing wrong with furries anyways but whatever, here’s Mouse! Inky.

Here is the Moonstone redesign I promised. Now, when it comes to Moonstones in Steven Universe, we really don’t know anything about them. But I like to think that they are rather high up gems, by more of a theory then anything. See, you know the Moon Goddess statue that was supposed to save the Lunar Sea Spire? I like to think that the “Moon Goddess’s” are really just Moonstones, who are rather rare to come by but extremely valuable gems. Bismuth revealed that Spires are made for important gems to think in, and I believe that this particular spire was made for moonstones or other oceanic gems. As a ‘goddess’ like gem, she is calm, quiet, and wise, but very compassionate for others. My Blue Moonstone fled from homeworld during the rebellion, after hearing of a better place for gem kind, as well as their plan to protect the humans that occupied earth. Her Black and Gold Pearl, who belongs to my friend Luna, joined her. By the time they finally escaped to earth, the gem corruption had already taken place, and they were safe from it.

Next up is the Fell/Edgy version of Zoey, who is honestly one of my favorite versions of Zoey I’ve ever made.

This is Kelly, Marina’s youngest sibling and honestly the most mature out of the four. She’s 18, and rather sweet, does most of the cleaning and cooking at home because her siblings are all lazy shits, and she has a very good sense of judgement when it comes to people. However, she is very frail and spends a lot of time indoors to stay safe. She’s Asexual and straight, but supports her siblings even when they make her wanna gouge her own eyes out.

This is Aurora, the second youngest. She’s twenty one and currently working as at retail, having quit her stripper job the year before. She’s really into fashion, and wants to design her own line one day, for now she’s just making clothes for her siblings.

And Jonah, honestly I have mixed feelings about him. He’s a huge piece of shit, and I kinda hate him but I also love that he’s a dick, I don’t know why. He’s Marina’s twin brother, and the oldest of the four, and is just, very overprotective and mean to everyone.

This is Baby Doll, a Hazbin OC of mine that’s one of my favorites, personally. In the 1950s she was trapped and manipulated as the perfect housewife, bending over backwards to do everything her husband ever wanted. But about 5 months after she gave birth to his baby, he killed it while he was drunk, making it seem like it was an accident. Baby Doll was heartbroken, and blamed herself for the death, and was pushed over the edge when she returned from grocery shopping to find her husband cheating on her with a younger woman. She snapped, killing her husband and his mistress, before realizing what she did and killing herself.

Time to meet Coco, and boy he he one of my favorite Hazbin OCs. In life he was addicted to cocaine, and when offered a nice supply of it for sleeping with a drug dealer, who was he to refuse? So he totally slept with her, and the two made it a regular thing, getting closer to each other and falling in love. The got engaged, and that’s when things went to shit. The Drug dealer got into a drug war, and during said attacks, Coco was killed horribly. His fiance, distraught, gave up her life of crime and worked towards becoming a better persona, and later died, going to heaven since she had repented and become better. Coco himself had went to jail, and never got to see his fiance again.

[naysaltysalmon]

I have a lot of feelings about the Steven Universe movie.

Before I watched Steven Universe: The Movie, I read this analysis about Spinel’s toxicity as a character/person that made me interested in watching it.

I wasn’t expecting Steven Universe to cover a situation as ambivalent as a victim’s response to complex trauma, especially not after all the controversy and froufrou surrounding Rose’s reveal as Pink Diamond and Steven convincing a dictator like White Diamond into being a better ruler. (I’m oversimplifying.)

What struck me in @love-takes-work​’s analysis was the apparent slipperiness surrounding the character Spinel, who was traumatized by Pink Diamond, exhibited symptoms of complex-PTSD and borderline personality disorder, and, as a result, became a toxic person. Something Rebecca Sugar very much wanted to portray.

Before I’d even watched the movie, I agreed with the aforementioned analysis. Not just in Steven Universe but in many series and in real life, characters/people who have experienced trauma are constantly sympathized with while the characters/people who have to deal with the fallout of that trauma are demonized for being unequipped to properly handle it. So, the character who abated White Diamond finally getting in over his head dealing with a gem attacking him over Rose’s actions is a topic I never thought would actually be touched upon in the series. But more than that, I was happy to see a character’s uncensored toxicity in exhibiting symptoms of mental illness in a kid’s movie that would be watched by millions.

I agree wholeheartedly that Spinel was a toxic person to Steven and the Crystal Gems, and that her past trauma doesn’t change or justify what she did to them over the course of the movie. That being said, I’m wary of the assumption in this and other analyses that Spinel -- and in turn actual victims of trauma who exhibit symptoms of complex-PTSD and borderline personality disorder -- know that their actions are toxic.

Awareness of one’s behavior doesn’t change whether someone’s actions are toxic or not, but waving aside Spinel’s toxicity throughout the course of the movie as her constant conscious choice to be a toxic person and just as her unwillingness to change as a person, is just... not true.

As someone who suffers from complex-PTSD, I think Rebecca Sugar and the Crewniverse did a magnificent job in portraying Spinel’s development as realistic -- albeit perhaps dangerously ambivalent for those who are uneducated about trauma and mental illness. By the end of the movie, Spinel declared that she was hurting strangers because she was choosing to take revenge, and eventually broke down, realizing her behavior was irrational and was only driving people away from her -- but before this?

Steven led her out of the garden and showed her kindness, and she reverted to toxic behavior, but I don’t think she was trying to be toxic -- she didn’t know what else she could be. Pink Diamond was Spinel’s only friend and then she abandoned Spinel for six-thousand years. All of Spinel’s self-worth was defined by her connection to Pink Diamond, as was her entire worldview. Spinel didn’t know how to blame the only person she knew and trusted, so she thought removing Steven and the Crystal Gems from the picture would bring some kind of resolution and comfort from Pink Diamond’s son. Just as little children learn from emulation, Spinel’s role model acted under the guise of being a close friend and then betrayed her. Pink Diamond shirked all the responsibility of her actions onto other people and left them to face the consequences. So when Spinel found out that Pink Diamond left her for the Earth, for Steven and the others, Spinel thought -- and therefore genuinely believed -- that it was Steven’s and the others’ faults that she was left alone, forgotten, broken, a toy.

I’m speaking from experience and not everyone’s experience is the same; but, I’ve seen people argue that Spinel’s immediate reaction to take her pain out on other people was a conscious choice to be a bad person, but the level of awareness others assume that Spinel had in her actions in their analysis just... doesn’t sit right with me. Let me reiterate that I am not arguing that Spinel’s experience of trauma excuses her behavior as a toxic person. What I am arguing is that, toxicity doesn’t register when you’re traumatized. When being hurt is all you’ve ever been taught by those closest to you, that’s what you’re going to learn and know how to do in return.

In this case, I would say of course Spinel is going to believe that hurting Steven means she loves him; Steven had shown her love and then perceivedly brushed her aside like Pink Diamond, leading Spinel to believe that hurt is what defines close connection, since that’s what she’s learned. That’s how PTSD, especially complex-PTSD, and borderline personality disorder work, by creating false equivalences born out of traumatic experiences.

Now, carrying the idea that Spinel actions were toxic, if not entirely by her conscious fault, I want to move onto a dicier topic. While Steven did his best to help Spinel with the knowledge and emotional capacity he had at the time, there were some things Steven did and said that triggered Spinel, which led her to act out in the toxic ways that she did. I would argue that most of what Spinel did throughout the course of the movie was the result of trauma and not any conscious choice to be toxic. Again, let me reiterate that Spinel’s intentions or lack thereof don’t change the fact that her actions throughout the course of the movie were toxic, but then I have to ask, in the real world... Where does that leave victims of trauma when they are triggered and have had little to no experience with true healing, so they act out in toxic ways, not knowing any better? I don’t think condemnation and alienation is the answer. What is a victim of trauma supposed to do when they act out in toxic ways, don’t realize their actions are toxic, and are alienated from anyone who could become a potential friend and provide support?

Before the events of the movie, Spinel was constantly alienated by Pink Diamond due to her lack of a personality, and later alienated by Steven and Crystal Gems (understandably) for attacking them. Pink Diamond didn’t directly tell Spinel the reason why she left her alone for all those years, leading Spinel to draw her own conclusions out of trauma, that she wasn’t good enough, which she took out on Steven and the others. Therefore Steven unknowingly triggered Spinel by not making his intentions in getting her to remove the injector apparent, and earlier when he told her to wait somewhere.

She reacted out of fear of the same thing happening again, though irrationally, because of being unable to conceive a different scenario in which she wasn’t abandoned due to the similarity of the previous situation when she was traumatized. She didn’t act toxic to Steven in this instance consciously, but out of fear of being hurt again.

Going back and forth between sadness, love, and hate, always wanting more, and feeling betrayed at the slightest sign of a trigger are marks of borderline personality disorder, which lead to confusion, hyperalertness, overprotection, and thus toxic behavior. It can be an endless cycle of grief and hatred that causes one to switch between being overly clingy, acting fake, and getting angry ad infinitum if someone isn’t given the chance to connect with others and be led out of their own toxic behaviors. This is, of course, not only to the detriment of those around the traumatized person, but most of all to their own self, as it keeps victims of trauma from being able to connect with others or understand how to do so.

In the end, when Steven told Spinel to wait and that he would come back, and we, as the audience, are watching Steven reunite with everyone, I could feel Spinel’s eyes on the happy scene, and I felt the same sadness and jealousy many victims of trauma feel, knowing they can’t make the same connections, but not knowing how to get out of their own toxic behavior without another’s help.

Now, I’m more like Steven in my real life.

But I’m writing this analysis because in my past, in my lifetime, as a victim of trauma, I relate most to Spinel. The things I’ve done and said in the past as a result of my experiences weren’t right, and now I understand why people like Steven would stay clear of someone like Spinel and my past self. Yet, my journey and the journeys of so many other victims are a lot less linear than what is portrayed in the Crewniverse’s 82-minute feature film. People’s lack of knowledge about how the symptoms of complex-PTSD and borderline personality disorder manifest are partially the cause.

It isn’t always a conscious choice by a victim to be like their abusers, but the only thing that a victim can imagine themselves doing because that abuser is the only connection of “trust” that they’ve ever had. It messes up victims’ definitions of healthy relationships, of friendship and love in general, warping reality due to the past trauma and fear of being hurt again.

Unfortunately, those who are sympathetic but unknowledgeable about trauma and mental illness try to help, and then end up steering clear for their own good, leaving the victim feeling more alone and stuck in their ways with no other perceived opportunity for connection. The irrationality of Spinel’s actions as she moves between being clingy and distant, from pacifism and violence in the majority of the movie exemplifies this.

My point isn’t that the people who have been sucked into toxic relationships with mentally ill people should be expected to stick by them. But at the same time, I had to unlearn my toxic behavior through my own effort only after being retraumatized by countless people who didn’t know any better, as do many victims of trauma, because people dismiss victims’ toxic actions as a choice that that person makes to focus on their past experiences and refuse to change. In reality, they’ve never been exposed to something different, so they can’t even fathom their situation changing due to an ingrained, trauma-induced fear. No one can live in a vacuum and be expected to change their toxic ways.

Steven Universe: The Movie wraps up Spinel’s story by answering that once the traumatized person has been exposed to other ways of being, they can make the choice to change, but awareness and exposure to other mindsets just isn’t a reality for so many victims. Even Steven, empathetic as he is, made mistakes in trying to connect with Spinel. It wasn’t his fault for not knowing what would trigger her, but this brings me to my main point for writing this analysis: A greater awareness of trauma and its lived manifestations needs to be raised.

PTSD and mental illness in general is so often portrayed as a refusal to look at the now, as a choice of the victim to be caught in the past. The brain doesn’t work like that, though; if your only connections for trust have betrayed you in the past, that’s what you learn will happen again and you stay alert for the slightest warning sign in fear of being hurt again and again. People don’t seem to understand how much a traumatized person’s worldview can be messed up due to their prior unhealthy connection(s) and wave aside their struggles as them consciously choosing to live in the past, but that’s not what Steven Universe: The Movie is trying to say about Spinel as a person overall.

That is why we need to talk about trauma and mental illness in a more sophisticated light. It isn’t as simple as you find someone who helps you heal, but then you consciously choose to be a toxic person if you are triggered, making others justified in leaving you. If your toxic symptoms stop you from being able to make healthy connections to begin with, and you’ve only been exposed to toxic ways of being before then, what more can you do except despair and blame the world for what you’ve endured, emulating the hurt you’ve been taught by the only people/person you trusted?

That is why, while I think Steven was entirely justified in not being Spinel’s friend in the end and that calling Spinel toxic is correct, I think we also need to address the lack of comprehension about complex trauma, which leaves victims of complex trauma feeling like they are so different from others that they are alone in their suffering, in a recursive loop of isolation and unhealthy behaviors.

I’m going to take one last moment to gush about my love for animation and this movie as a whole, specifically in relation to Spinel’s character design. What convinced me yesterday to finally watch Steven Universe: The Movie was the Crewniverse’s choice to animate Spinel in the style of 1930s cartoons. This stylistic choice is crucial when considering how Spinel integrates herself -- or doesn’t -- into the fabric of the movie and the Steven Universe series as a whole.

Her animation style is unlike that of every character up until this point: she’s topsy-turvy, bouncy, unconfined by gravity; her proportions are constantly changing to emphasize specific parts of her body to fit her actions; her limbs have the characteristic of rubber hoses, which make her able to stretch and contort herself in ways that the other characters simply cannot. I couldn’t possibly imagine a more effective subtle way to portray a character’s inherent difference from the established canon of characters.

It shows, more than anything, that Spinel’s childish playfulness and her attitude toward the world as a whole made her so different from the other characters that she doesn’t even know how to interact with them in a genuine, positive way.

Even when Spinel is not acting out due to her trauma -- or, at the end, consciously choosing to take revenge on Steven and the others for hurting her -- she’s unable to connect with others in a genuine way. Sure, this can be explained by her purpose as a toy for Pink Diamond initially so having a personality wasn’t needed, like it wasn’t needed for obedient Pearls and the plethora of other subordinate gems. However, given how starkly different her animation style is from everyone else in the show, think it conveys something about Spinel that can be likened to what Rebecca Sugar called “unsettling,” and a difficult part of her character. How I read this is that Spinel’s attitude makes her difficult to be around. Her mindless goofiness, her inherent difference in the 1930s cartoon style, and her toxic traits are those victims of trauma exhibit when they are searching for connection due to fear of abandonment from lack of a stable connection in the past.

In all, I’m so thankful that a character was portrayed to be unapologetically traumatized, and therefore toxic, in a cartoon for children. Even if that character was portrayed to be an antagonist in most instances, which is definitely the case where victims of trauma become their abusers due to lack of exposure to more positive ways of being, Steven Universe: The Movie also shows victims of trauma that moving past their unhealthy mindset is possible, even if it doesn’t work out with the people you make mistakes with due to not knowing any better.

Constant alienation from exhibiting symptoms of mental illness is a problem many victims face from being unable to change, rather than not choosing to. Due to a lack of consciousness about one’s toxic behavior and lack of knowledge about how to change, making genuine connections with people who will help us learn better ways of being is the only way to promote this change, as Steven did for Spinel. We need to spread awareness about how to approach people who have experienced complex traumas that affect our ability to make genuine healthy connections, while also acknowledging the toxic behavior that can arise from victims, and define the boundaries needed for those who are sympathetic enough to take that first step and offer a helping hand.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[rivertheshimmerscale]

Continuing from a different post, but I decided not to reblog because this would be one long-ass reblog, plus it kinda goes off topic as well.

I also don't know how to use the "read more" so... Well, fuck. Sorry.

@localblueslinky

Apparently by "a little," my subconscious meant to dump all of my OC's designs, evolution and backstory at your feet. I'll try to summarize lmao.

I had gotten this idea at the beginning of 2019. Maybe a month after CYM was released. I really wanted a SU OC and my favorite color was blue at the time, so, naturally, I ended up researching a ton of blue gemstones and minerals. The very first name I contemplated was Blue Spinel, which I thought sounded kinda dorky written down and I preferred Kyanite. But the name grew on me and I couldn't decide on Kyanite or Blue Spinel.

Here's a referenced version of Kyanite's very first concept:

I briefly had an idea where she was bubbled on Earth and still got hit with the Corrupting Light, but it only half affected her because of the bubble. This was because I wanted to make her design really feral and monstrous because frankly, I love those designs. Then I decided not to because that idea had too many inconsistencies for her backstory.

Instead I settled to changing her name to Cat's Eye Kyanite, - after discovering that was a thing - using this as an excuse to give her some catlike features. Cats are cool.

Kyanite gets fangs and claws.

I know she looks a little like Lapis, and this is probably because I have some annoying drawing habits. I can only draw Peridot, Spinel and Lapis, so I tend to lapse into these habits when I try to draw anyone else.

Kyanite/Blue Spinel's main power was:

Dissolving her form into a beam of striated light, which resembles actual raw kyanite. It's kinda ironic because the beam is just a simplified, liquid version of her physical form. Raw, primitive light. She can only move in a straight line while using this attack, as light only moves forward.

This reflects off of Steven's shield and bubble. He unintentionally curb stomped her attack the first time they met; she simply ricocheted off his shield and went flying in the opposite direction.

After lately discovering Sonic, this ability has been removed since the coincidence was a little too much for me lmao.

She was a very insecure, melodramatic Gem prone to anxiety, though very protective of those she cared about. She would leap in front of a poofing blow without a second thought, and could be a little scrappy at times.

Kyanites can detect a falsity from miles away, so never lie to her. She will know.

Her full gem name was Cat's Eye Kyanite Facet-8 Cut 3YK. Quite a mouthful, huh?

Her original backstory is kinda janked, so after this I'll share her scrapped one that's still kinda in progress.

Basically, she was made alongside a team of cabochon Kyanites, but was a defective deep-cut. Her Gem was faceted instead of smooth, she was shorter than she should've been, and instead of being calm and balanced like all other Kyanites, she was nervous and impulsive. Despite being off-color, her defects had benefits. She was a brighter color and slightly stronger than her fellow Kyanites, so her superior ended up keeping her anyways. Though a lot of abuse was still directed at her from said superior and teammates. She also had limb enhancers.

At some point, the Kyanites' manager got sent to earth to help with the colony's construction. While the Corrupting Light was being initiated, 3YK ended up being left behind and bubbled in the Facet 5 Cluster lab. In this version of the AU, the Crystal Gems found her bubble after destroying all of the force fusion shards. They took it back to the temple and Steven convinced them to pop it in case it was an innocent Gem. After all, if it was just another corruption or Homeworld Gem, they could catch it again and no harm done... Right?

I ended up just kinda putting this OC down for a while and never came back to it, but after the movie came out, things got interesting. I never would've anticipated an actual canon Spinel, and, to my mild surprise, my own OC had some obvious similarities besides part of the same name. Some of which include a widow's peak or whatever it's called, similar stature, short hair/fur and then longer tufts, similar coloring system, personality, and some more subtle things.

But I liked both of these characters so much that I just have 2 sub-characters; Blue Spinel and Cat's Eye Kyanite. They each have their own individual AUs, I guess, as well.

Ok, for Blue Spinel now!

I have a headcanon that there are other Spinels on Homeworld, but they're not necessarily the same as the Spinel everyone knows and loves.

As you might know, spinel in real life is rather rare and as such not many people know about it. One could say it's underrated. Gem hierarchy on Homeworld seems to be primarily based on Gem worth and popularity on earth. For example, Diamonds being the highest rank gem. Diamonds are actually one of the most common gemstones on earth; and they're very well known by the community.

Ask someone what the most important gemstone is (not in the context of Steven Universe) and they'll probably answer "diamond" without skipping a beat. So by this logic, Spinels on Homeworld could be kinda rare, and not of a particularly high rank but still important nonetheless. Like Pearls, they could be considered the expensive pets or toys of the upper classes.

Take Pink Spinel. She was made for Pink Diamond, especially customized to look and behave like her. She was made to entertain and be Pink's best friend.

In the movie, Pearl sings:

"This will be fun

Aren't you the lucky one?

Her cut is perfect and she's pink, as well

She'll bring you endless entertainment

Your new best friend, Spinel!"

Steven is lucky to have a Spinel? Are they rare? Perhaps only for the highest of the elites, and most likely much more important than Pearls.

Pink Spinel is, in a way, the ultimate or Diamond quality Spinel. Like Jasper is the Ultimate Quartz.

She's the same color as Pink Diamond/Steven, but, how would Pearl know that Steven was Pink? He shows no physical traits of her, besides her Gem, which is also covered and not obviously even Pink Diamond. Pearl was also reset and completely disregarded Steven in all scenes, as Greg was her new owner.

Is there something different or special about Pink Spinels that deserved a mention in Pearl's basic description of these Gems?

These are, as it seems, in an order. Lucky to have a Spinel. She's perfect and,

Pink.

She'll entertain you.

It's unlikely that these two are connected, but it could be possible that different color Spinels have different purposes.

Pink gems, as a stereotype, might be more fun-loving and goofy. Take Pink Pearl and Pink Diamond. We haven't met very many Pink Gems, but they all seem to share this trait. This could also be because they were modeled after Pink Diamond, but hear me out anyways. Blue Gems tend to be rather solemn. (Lapis Lazuli, Blue Diamond, Blue Pearl, Sapphire.) Green/yellow/orange/red Gems tend to be more sassy, energetic and/or egotistical. (Peridot, Yellow Pearl, Yellow Diamond, Ruby.)

Why wouldn't there be a trait for pink Gems?

Homeworld could've utilized this to create a naturally happy-go-lucky Spinel whose purpose is to be happy and entertain other Gems.

But are all Spinels entertainers?

Entertainment seems like a foreign concept for Gems, and within the busy hierarchy, who would ever have time for fun?

In real life, spinel is known as the copy gem. It can mimic almost any crystal because it comes in such a wide range of colors and has a hardness of 8 on the MOHs scale.

So I created an adaptive theory.

Real spinels can be used to mimic other gems. Homeworld Spinels are one of the customizable "accessory" Gems, which take an appearance and personality very similar to that of their owner.

If this were the case, they would be like a higher quality Pearl with more diverse skills. Programmed to have a base personality exactly like their owner, and if their owner screws up bad, they could just be replaced by their Spinel if they're essential to the hierarchy.

Spinels can be entertainers, friends, substitutes or replacements.

Possibly, not all Spinels are solely entertainers. There could be others out there either way, and with this they could be much more relevant in the Gem society though still very rare.

Anyways, it's just a theory. I hope that made sense.

I might put that specific theory on a separate post as well since I'm rather fond of it lmao.

And now, for her backstory.

Celestine was an important Gem. Her role was to manage a portion of Blue's court, and give reports on how her Diamond's colonies were progressing. She, along with all the other Celestines recorded everything that happened and acted as messengers for higher elites. She oversaw colonies when Blue was away and aided her Diamond in their managements. She specializes in this position of great responsibility.

Alongside their roles, Celestines in general can quickly freeze liquids and control them in their solid state or at a certain temperature below freezing. Unlike Sapphires, however, they cannot generate ice out of thin air. Celestine has a pair of ice wings she can summon from her Gem. These Gems also have construction jobs on colonies. They typically work alongside Lapis Lazulis, who use their powers to excavate Kindergardens. Celestines either froze or evaporated the excess water for later use once the Kindergarten was completed.

At some point, Celestine made an error in her job managing Earth's resources and was threatened by her manager, an overreacting Aquamarine, to be replaced. She couldn't be rejuvenated or harvested because she needed all of her documents of colonies, so her Aquamarine instead requested Blue that she be given a backup Gem as a warning. This was Blue Spinel. Blue Spinel was programmed to behave like Celestine, and replace her immediately if need be. She was also meant to record and report her behaviors to Aquamarine.

Celestine was both terrified of and hated her new little replacement snitch. Spinel had to follow her everywhere, which sometimes tested Celestine's temper. The feeling was mostly mutual. Spinel had been occasionally hit and threatened by Cryolite/Celestine, and would try not to interact closely with her. Though, Spinel had a rather calm demeanor and never retaliated.

The two Gems got sent back to the Earth Colony alongside a few Lapis Lazulis to build the Beta Kindergarten. When the corrupting light was being initiated, Celestine found an opportunity to ditch Spinel and they both took seperate ships back to Homeworld. But as they were leaving, Celestine shot at Spinel's ship and knocked it offline. She was on the ship while the Gems were corrupted.

And Spinel's been stuck in the ship for a couple thousand years, eventually giving up trying to fix it. It circled in a slow spiral pattern towards the planet before finally being sucked in and crashing.

She met the CGs and now lives in Little Homeworld or something, this most likely took place after the movie. She had nothing against Steven or the CGs aside from the fact that she had to fight in the war a little bit at some point, but it was all fine and dandy. She didn't cause any problems when she ended up on Earth.

I don't actually have a finished design for Celestine, but I expect she'd have snow colored hair in a sort of angel wing shaped bob, feathery looking shoulder pads, sorta pale bluish skin and a blue-gray dress/skirt. Sorta sharp white boots like Holly Blue. Her gem is on her naval like Spinel, and of course she's really tall.

[fireopal-tash]

How everything started...

If only everybody could see you

Through my eyes

We wouldn't have to worry and leave it all behind

I know it isn't easy but I think we need a brand new start

I'll hold your heart

It was not a good start, nor a bad one. It was not an impulsive moment, much less a thoughtful one.

Spinel spent a week with Steven on Earth, after the Crystal Gems received a message from the Diamonds. Something about a mission, and making peace (peace treaty) with other species. They couldn't take Spinel with them, so they decided that it was best for her to stay on Earth. With Steven. Protected. That was it. Nothing happened, and Spinel returned to Homeworld soon after. Nothing changed... Or so everyone believed.

It wasn't until in Little Homeworld a healed corrupted gem saw them holding hands, laughing and having a good time that things went downhill. They explained they were simply spending some time together, like any friends, but the crystal gems were still upset that the hybrid never told them anything about where he went and with whom. Pearl, specially, freaked out when she saw it was Spinel with whom he was spending time. He couldn't understand why.

Steven was with Connie (it was one of those days when Connie had free time for him), and the boy asked his best friend her opinion about Spinel.

"Steven... I don't think it's a good idea" she started carefully.

"What? Why?" the young hybrid asked without showing his anguish.

"Because she tried to kill you. You and the Crystal Gems" she pointed out "Look, I know you want to help her, but maybe you should let someone else do it" she explained softly.

"No, you don't understand" he shook his head "It's my responsibility. I have to help her. No one else can because... Because no one else can understand her. Only me. And she is not the only gem that tried to kill us, you know? At least she knew it was me, not Pink Diamond"

"She was… trapped, wasn't she? Then Lapis would be the most suitable. Also, she tried to kill you because of your mum" she countered.

"You see!? You don't understand either. Aghhh" he suddenly stood up, anxiety gnawing at his mind "She was abandoned, not trapped. She faithfully waited for my mom for thousands of years!"

"And how about Pearl?" the brunette tried.

Steven groaned, increasingly annoyed that no one could understand him. But that wasn't true, was it? Someone understood him. And that someone was Spinel.. Steven ran away, glowing pink.

"Steven...!" Connie called.

All of my friends and family

Keep saying you're no good

Now that I'm finally happy

Wish that they understood

They may be disapproving

But that ain't tearing us apart

I'll hold your heart

Spinel couldn't meet with Steven after that hasty goodbye. She could still hear the shouting. Such horrible words. She didn't like that one bit. He was her friend, their family. Why were they being so cruel to him? Why wouldn't they let her calm him down.

So what if they were having a good time?

So what if they wanted to be friends?

What difference did it make to them?

What rights did they have to spoil something that was just beginning to flourish?

All those questions were echoing over and over again in her mind, fueling her anger, her contempt for those gems. Towards everyone. But never to Steven. He needed her. And she needed him.

"Spinel, we know that you only wanted to see Steven. We do to. But, surely you understand that it is not right for you to leave without saying a word to us"

Oh, she knew that very well. But it was exactly for that reason that neither of them said anything. They wanted to test their friendship first, before rushing headfirst. They didn't want interference of any kind. It was their life after all.

It was not fair.

Where did everything went so wrong?

Exhausted every option

It's time to run away

Won't even pack a suitcase

I don't need anything

As long as you're besides me

I know that it'll be okay

We'll be okay

Weeks later, after sneaking away from Homeworld again, Spinel managed to speak to Steven, in his room, while everyone else was asleep (or in the case of the gems, in their own room)

"Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly. He was so nervous. What if the gems find out? They would be separated!

Spinel nodded enthusiastically. She had been planning it carefully. Today they were going to leave, they were going to their new home, a home of their own. Far from responsibilities. Away from people who only saw someone else in them. No more Pink Diamond. They were going to be free at last.

"Ok. I trust you. I hope everything works out. How are we going to get there?"

"With Little Homeworld's portal, of course. We will be caught immediately if we use yours. Although, we have to go undercover, just in case" She smirk, satisfied with her plan. She was not stupid, after all. Just a fool.

Steven shared her smile, feeling excited.

Cuz if it's us

Against the world we'll fight it

And win as long as we're united

"Steven?" Pearl called from the bottom of the stairs. Receiving no answer, she went upstairs, determined to wake Steven up. Upon opening the door, however, there was no one in there. Thinking that maybe he would be in the bathroom, she went downstairs again and headed for the other room. She knocked a couple of times. Nobody answered. The fear was taking over the pale gem. Steven was surely fine. These past few weeks he seemed fine, at least. But what if...?

"Steven?" she called again.

"Is he still in the bathroom?" Amethyst said, noticing the other gem in concern.

"I think so... But he would have already answered me" she scowled.

"Maybe he's drowned in the bathtub," joked the purple gem.

"Don't joke about it, Amethyst!"

"Seriously, what's wrong with taking a little more time in the bathroom? Besides, maybe he's still annoyed with us" she said seemingly exasperated.

"Annoyed? Why would he be annoyed with us?" the purple gem rolled her eyes, tired of the tallest blindness.

"Maybe because we are overwhelming? Overprotective? And by "we" I mean you, and maybe Garnet" she finished, with irritation. She really needed to let out everything she thought about this situation.

Take my hand and don't you let it go now

We'll find our way out when we are faced with danger

Steven and Spinel were in the garden. No one was around as expected, but still, they waited holding their breath and their hands. Nothing was happening. The portal didn't activate. They were alone. Together. They smiled widely. And laughed.

And eyes that stares at us in anger

Take my hand and don't you let it go now

"Garnet. Do you know where he...?" Pearl tried to ask the fusion. She was stopped.

"Not now"

"But Garnet!" she complained.

"I said not now. I don't know where he is. I can't even..." She let out a painful cry before a light appeared, separating both gems.

"Oh no. What have we done?" whispered Sapphire, both oh her hands covering her mouth. Her blue orb full of guilt and fear.

We'll find our way out

I'm tired of all the hiding

When the gems told Greg what happened, for the first time ever, he yelled at them. Worse than the time they kidnapped baby Steven in the middle of a snowstorm.

Unspoken secrecy

Cuz nothing's more exciting

When they talked to Lapis, Peridot and Bismuth, they were yelled at again. Never had the crystal gems felt worse than now. They knew it was their fault Steven ran away.

When you're right next to me

I'm captured by the feeling

Connie was the last one to know about their mistake. She just looked at them, disappointed. She waited for Steven. She had faith in him. He would return to her. He always did.

Of when you're wrapped up in my arms

In my arms

Despite all the searching, they never found him. Nothing. No one knew anything about him, nor did he ever came back home.

But one day, they found a little Spinel, far from Homeworld, whistling while looking at some dresses and shorts, shopping apparently.

I don't have all the answers

Not sure what we should do

But it doesn't really matter

I'm so in love with you

As long as you're besides me

I know it'll be okay

We'll be okay

"Our way out" song by Nico Collins

IMPORTANT: Steven and Spinel didn't rushed their decision, but they didn't think it through either. Don't be too harsh on them. They are still young (in fact, worse. Because he is a teenager and Spinel acts like a teenager too, so it was expected xD And Steven almost did the same with Connie, when they were younger)

Another thing. No one thought that Steven was with Spinel because of the time they spent apart, and because they tried to appear like nothing changed. It may sound logic to us, readers, but it's not. That's life without a narrator xD

Also: if it's a ship, or just friends, or family, it depends on the reader~ See them as you want xD I don't care~ xP

People tend to forget the most obvious clues ^w^'

Here a FanArt!

(why I'm always drawing the wrong hand to hold? xD Oh well~)