#very cow

[thasallweare]

William Matthews b. 1949 Very Cow

[lowpolyanimals]

Cow Figurine from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D

[arugulafriend]

@pangur-and-grim's wee rascal in rainbow pencil

[kensatou]

he's like if a baby cow wandered into a zoom interview

[hedgehog-moss]

Look, friends.

Do you think this is a post about my adorable baby succulents? No. Look harder.

It's about the GIANT HOLE IN MY FENCE that I had to patch up with cardboard.

I can't blame Pampérigouste for this one; the brutish nature of the damage is not consistent with her usual modus operandi. Pampe outsmarts locks like Arsène Lupin; she doesn't charge at fences like a bull who saw a red cloth. This is Pampe Pondering A Fence Problem:

No, the damage to my fence looked a lot more mindless this time. Boorish. Boar-ish. I'm blaming a boar. A deer would have destroyed the whole thing rather than just the lower half. Note that there is not a single tuft of llama wool on the damaged wire mesh.

(Note no.2: the boar's smile was originally meant to be a tusk but it really just looks like a sardonic smile)

I brought some chicken wire to patch up the hole—but there wasn't enough of it. Then it started raining and I felt persecuted and decided to just cover the hole with cardboard and go have my morning coffee and get back to this later.

This is not an Innocent Pampe post; there is no such thing. My temporary cardboard solution lasted 8 to 10 minutes. I'm not sure exactly when she got out, but by the time I went back outside to repair the fence there was a Pampe-shaped hole in the cardboard.

(Not really; she just kind of lifted or ate a corner then wormed her way through the very small opening. I think.) (See, this is how you recognise a Pampe escape: you're not entirely clear on what went down, you just know there was a llama inside and now there is a llama outside.)

It was still raining and I didn't feel like going after her, plus it felt pointless to bring her back in her pasture before the fence was repaired, so I went in the barn to look for my tools and rummage through leftover pieces of previously-destroyed fences, hoping to find something the right size.

Then I heard Pampelune's hyena shriek, aka the llama alarm call. It was followed by:

horrified chicken screams and frantic feather noises; the soundtrack of a violent fox attack

infuriated barking from Pandolf

very loud panicked braying from Pirlouit

basically, chaos.

I ran outside just in time to see Pampe emerging from the woods at a full gallop, pursued by a bear. I didn't immediately identify the animal that was chasing her as the giant dog that he was, because he was running with a weird gait, with his legs going everywhere like he was frolicking at top speed (I now know that this dog is a puppy that has learnt to run just a few months ago, but that didn't occur to me at the time because this puppy is the size of a calf.)

Pampe was running towards the cardboard through which she had escaped and she managed to squeeze through her small corner hole again (I assume—there were trees blocking my line of sight and I only saw her again once she was in the pasture, running for her life along with the other 2 llamas + donkey.) Meanwhile, the dog didn't see the corner hole and tried to power through the cardboard much like a boar, or was carried away by his momentum and didn't brake in time; I don't know. In any case, when I reached him, he was stuck.

My large piece of cardboard was tied to the fence posts and still holding strong, but the middle was a bit soggy with rain and not too solid, so the dog's head went right through it. The rest of his body didn't.

He could have probably finished breaking the cardboard quite easily, but for some reason he instantly gave up. On life. By the time I got there the dog was half-in and half-out of the pasture and he looked defeated. Which made my piece of cardboard look like a mediaeval beheading apparatus with just a hole for the head.

I went to lock an angry Pandolf in the barn and checked on the chickens along the way (ruffled & offended but fine); I was hoping the dog would figure out how to extricate his head from the cardboard in the meantime. He did not. I tried to call him in a friendly tone (from behind) to encourage him to free his head by stepping back, but the concept of taking a couple of steps backwards in order to extract his head from the hole might as well have been advanced engineering. He clearly had no idea where his head was, where his body was, how to make the two a coherent whole again, and he started whining pitifully.

I untied the rope I had used to attach the cardboard to the fence posts, then wriggled the piece of cardboard a bit to try and free the dog's head. The dog was alarmed by the wriggling and took several steps back—but I didn't manage to hold on to the cardboard so it just moved with the dog. He clumsily ran away, taking the cardboard with him, wearing it around his neck like the world's largest cone of shame.

He immediately got stuck between two trees.

I was starting to find the situation hilarious, but the poor dog did not—he lay down and started making sad broken noises like a malfunctioning dog-robot. He didn't look very threatening but he was still a very big (and stressed) dog so I felt a bit wary of touching his head to help him, and decided to run home to get a box cutter. I figured I could easily rid him of most of the cardboard and leave him with just a soggy cardboard collar that would soon fall apart. I heard my landline phone ringing from afar and ran faster, and it was one of my nearest neighbours, the retired lady who lives on the plateau.

"I've been trying to reach you!! I saw your llama in my garden earlier, I was going to give her a little treat—" (she loves Pampe, for some reason) "—but then my dog saw her too."

I know this woman's dog—he's a tiny thing with fragile nerves who thinks the whole world is out to get him, so I asked anxiously, "Did Pampe scare your dog?" and she said "Oh no! Domino is here with me; but I have a new dog. His name is Texas."

I thought of the gigantic puppy currently sobbing in my woods, held prisoner by two trees, a self-inflicted cone of shame and his total lack of reasoning skills.

"Yes", I said. "I've met Texas."

The old lady asked worriedly if he'd scared Pampe ("Il est un peu zinzin" she said—he's a bit crazy. "I wanted to call him Rex, but then I met him and thought—Texas!!") I told her I was pleased with her dog for scaring Pampe, because she needs to learn that her pasture is her only hope for safety in this cold uncaring world and as soon as she steps out of it she returns to her lowly status as a prey animal. Then I ended the phone call because I was worried both about Texas and about the large hole in my fence. Thankfully all my animals were still terrified and hiding far, far away from Texas.

Texas actually managed to free himself before I attempted to cut the cardboard, but he still thought of me as his saviour and was very happy to follow me through the woods back to his owner's place. Before we left I propped up the cardboard against the damaged fence, and despite the hole in the middle no llamas escaped in my absence; I think the whole area still smelled like Texas and fear.

I'll admit I was initially tempted to leave Texas with his head stuck in the cardboard in a more permanent capacity in order to patch the hole in my fence with this amazing anti-Pampe Cerberus. Like this

(I know this artistic rendering makes my llamas look like frightened carrots and my donkey like a bunny but I will not be taking constructive criticism at this time)

[cubbihue]

Did Peri tell Timmy that he was planning to become a Fairy Godparent/that he was assigned a godkid? When we first see the fam reunite in the series, Cosmo and Wanda didn't seem to know.

Timmy had known Peri might pursue becoming a godparent, because Peri had consulted with him about career tracks!! And like. Being the only one invited to Peri's college graduation tends to give Timmy more insight than his parents. Special older brother privileges.

As for being assigned a Godkid, Timmy sorta... Stumbled into it. He found out long before Peri was told he had been given an assignment!

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

Peri's Assignment: [Next]

[myrathefarmer]

Beef revealed his common card on Twitter, so here’s the artwork I did for it! I’m so happy I got to draw the new skin 🐄👨🏻‍🌾

[girlboyburger]

I have a cow oc and I’m having a lot of trouble drawing there face any tips?

i reaalllllly recommend doing studies! don't be scared to trace some photos to get a feel for the shapes, or just go nuts and make em cartoony! i personally try and pick out species-specific traits to emphasize when i draw furries, like a cow's barrel shaped body and small mouth, or the canine lower teeth before fangs and rounded triangle ears on wolves.

i'm not very good at explaining my process, but i hope this helps!

[fizpup]

artfight week #1!

unicorn belongs to @horse-time-babey

waddle dee belongs to @starflungwaddledee

dragon belongs to @theleatherdragon

eevee belongs to @lu-nya

[hallowshumour]

🐂🔥🍖‼️

[nelkcats]

Batcows and millionaires

Of all the things he could do on a Wednesday night, Danny didn't think he'd be following the last wishes of a ghost cow but life takes its twists and turns.

With Wulf's help and a lot of persuasion he managed to translate what the spirit was trying to tell him, apparently "Batcow" wasn't meant to be a ghost, but neither did she wish to leave her former owner alone.

She was worried about him, how he would take it, and refused to leave until the Ghost King himself promised to take care of Damian and let him know she was in a better place. Again, Danny could have refused her request, but he thought about Cujo, he thought about how he followed him everywhere, about the time the GIW captured him and almost killed him, and he understood a little, so he agreed.

So, the Ghost King ended up in the back of a mansion (of course the owner had to be a millionaire, damn it, couldn't he be a farmer?), watching Damian Wayne stare at the barn with melancholy. Danny noticed his hands were shaking.

With a sigh, the halfa landed beside him, wondering how he might approach the subject. He obviously hadn't expected a sword on his shoulder but hey, he'd initiated conversations in worse ways.

[serpentface]

Hey bro you want some stew haha (Brakul at the age of 18 being hit on by what would soon become an off and on lover of three years, another herder from the neighboring Silde-Urbinnas tribe named Dirgrani.)

As a young unmarried man, Brakul had the responsibility of bringing his family's cattle up the mountain to their clan's summer pastures for grazing. He had been doing this since he was 14 and wasn't fond of it- Brakul heavily favored the comforts of home, and this was three months of living mostly on milk and dried bread, sleeping out in the cold, and squaring up against the occasional particularly intrepid hyena, all with nothing but cattle for company. He had a marriage engagement secured for when he returned in the fall, which he was fairly excited about as it would get him out of the task of summer herding for good.

He met Digrani up at pasture that year. Brakul had been seeing evidence that someone was trespassing on his clan's land and grazing cattle there, and finally encountered the culprit two weeks in. Dirgrani was friendly and charming, and Brakul was very, very easily persuaded out of chasing him off with a stick, instead agreeing to let him share the pasture.

The two of them struck up a friendly relationship, and would stop to chat and share food whenever they met up. Dirgrani, being a decade older and significantly more experienced, picked up on Brakul's sad wistful gazes and frequent excuses to disappear behind some rocks and jack off. Dirgani quickly went from casual flirtation to openly coming onto him. Brakul had a few prior sexual experiences with women but never someone he was actually attracted to, and he accepted these advances and got his shit absolutely rocked. The two stuck together for the rest of the season, meeting up every night to make camp together. When the time came to part ways, they agreed to join up again the next year and continue as they were. Brakul was thrilled at the prospect and completely and utterly head over heels enamored with the man.

Brakul broke off his engagement upon his return (very rudely at that, which caused problems for his clan) and put off any further attempts at getting hitched in favor of continuing his summer herding and seeing Dirgani again. This went on for two more years, with the two joining up in the pastures and seeing nothing of each other for the rest of the year. As time wore on, Brakul became fixated on the notion of working out some kind of arrangement where he could stay a bachelor and live with Dirgrani year-round. Marriage was a firm expectation of life and avoiding it as such would be highly frowned upon, but not unheard of. The Bict and Silde Urbinnas tribes had fairly good relations, and even if Brakul didn't contribute to his clan's wellbeing with the security of marriage, he figured could still provide through close connection to an ally.

His romantic outlook on the situation came to an end when Dirgrai firmly rejected this concept. It finally got through Brakul's head that Dirgrani had no such interest and was mostly just fucking him because he was there, decent company, willing and eager, and it helped pass the long days of boredom and loneliness up at pasture. Brakul handled this badly and blew up at him, and initiated a physical fight. He lost, badly, and Dirgrani stole all but one of his cattle in retribution and ditched. This was the last time they ever saw each other.

Brakul returned home heartbroken and humiliated and having to explain in detail to his extremely aggravated mother where the fuck their cows went. Feeling depressed and tremendously guilty, he finally conceded to courting Sirudan, a cattle-wealthy and dear childhood friend of his, and would marry her the following year.

This affair would continue to haunt his life for the next couple years. Brakul having strained some of his clan's key relations by playing fast and loose with his marriage proposals and then 'losing' all but one of his mother's cattle was already embarrassing, which was compounded by word that a Silde-Urbinnas man was bragging about having repeatedly fucked a younger Bict-Urbinnas herder (who was very enthusiastic about taking it 'like a woman'!) and effortlessly stolen his cattle. Most people in Brakul's life managed to put two and two together, which utterly humiliated him and felt impossible to live down.

Sirudan was a good friend to him and (though Very put off by all this) didn't hold his failures over his head, and encouraged him to just put it all behind him. But Brakul was scared to death by his wife's impending childbirth and haunted by memories of a time where he felt happy, in love, and with hopes of a fulfilling future. When he would later find himself in a friendship and burgeoning romance with a man who was genuinely enamored with him, he was fully primed to skip out on his wife and child, put absolutely Everything behind him, and chase after that possibility of a new life. And so it goes.

[cow-wife]

removing the “narrative” from my life has made me a billion times less depressed. knowing that everything is just a collection of actions & realizing that nothing matters because everything matters is the most freeing curse i could have ever been inflicted with.

[raviollies]

I love the way his eyes came out wau...

[chipper-smol]

<.<

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*dragons your blorbos*

[pononoin]

Ginger Cow but it’s Kyle’s fursona…