#version without text on insta

[co5oo]

close your eyes, keep your mouth shut in this, our world!!

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

CookieCreates Masterlist 🍪

s ◦ smut ✩ f ◦ fluff ✩ a ◦ angst ✩ h ◦ humor ✩ r ◦ request

PSA: i will be reuploading all of the links that do not work on here very soon but you can still access them on my blog so if your really wanting to read something just search it in my blog and you will find the version i reblogged from my old account. Thank you!

✩ Ot8 ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤ Headcannons

🍪 Small acts of love from skz ◦ f

🍪 skz as red flags ◦ a

╰┈➤ Fake Texts

🍪 the boys find out you have a cold ◦ f

🍪 pulling the "shes busy" prank ◦ h

🍪 asking the boys "would you love me if I was a worm?" ◦ h

🍪 asking the boys "who is this" on a suggestive comment on their insta ◦ h

🍪 silly little dad!skz fake texts ◦ h

🍪 jealous!bestfreind!skz telling the reader to not go on her date ◦ hyung line

🍪 jealous!bestfreind!skz telling the reader to not go on her date ◦ maknae line

✩ Bangchan ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 lost in translation ◦ a+f - being an author comes with its ups and downs, when your deep in the dumps about your poetry bangchan is quick to comfort you.

╰┈➤Drabbles

🍪 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 ・f —During one of your cuddle sessions with Bangchan, you realize that your relationship shares an odd resemblance to Twilight—without the entire plot, of course.

╰┈➤ Fake Texts

🍪 while you were looking at him, i was looking at you ◦ a+r+f +mini-series

✩ Lee Know ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤Drabbles

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤ Fake Texts

🍪 minho gets jealous watching the reader hand her customers cash ◦f+r

✩ Seo Changbin ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤Drabbles

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

✩ Hwang Hyunjin ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤Drabbles

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤ Fake Texts

🍪

✩ Han jisung ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 doomsday ◦ a➝ 5231 · ⤷Sometimes doomsday wasn't the crumbling of a city; doomsday was an apocalypse of the mind

╰┈➤Drabbles

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤ Fake texts

🍪 accidental love confession ◦ f

🍪 teasing a shy han untill he accidentally confesses ◦ f

✩ Lee Felix ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 laughter like honey dribbles ◦ f+s+h ➝ 1123 words · realistic sex · ⤷ An inexperienced Felix tries to impress you by forcing his voice deeper. What do you do when it cracks mid-through?

🍪 hang the moon ◦ f +r➝ 4,506 words · Dad!Felix headcanons · ⤷ going through the ages of time with felix, from when you told him you were pregnant to seeing him braid your baby's hair.

🍪 pretty like poetry ◦ f+a➝ 2681 words · Hurt and comfort · ⤷felix always tended to hate the freckles that adorned his face, believing they were blemishes that deserved to be hidden under layers of foundation, but what will he do when you convince him that his freckles were pretty—pretty like poetry?

🍪 eat your words ◦ s ➝ 2290 words ⤷in a spiral of whiskey-induced stupidity, you claim felix couldn't dominate you even if he tried—oh, how he's going to make you eat your words. 

🍪 rewrite the ending ◦ s ➝-Just once, let him rewrite the story; Just once, he promises you will never have to watch the same ending again. ( reader with mommy issues let's felix poetically fuck the sadness out of her)

rewrite the ending in every lifetime ◦ f+a+s➝ Going through the ages of time with Felix, no matter how many times your mother knocked you down, he was always there to pick you up—in every lifetime.

pink lemonade ◦ f➝ Felix had always dreamed of the day he could finally gather enough courage to kiss you. Even in his wildest dreams, he never imagined it would be mid-sip of your pink lemonade.

Where the hell did you get that? ◦ f➝ Even after your bodyguard saved your life you insist that you don't need his help, maybe you feel a little different after he drops his weapon in the middle of a fight—and forces you to admit you need him.

You're like real?! ◦ f➝ You never once thought you would meet Lee Felix, especially not while watching an edit of his abs

╰┈➤Drabbles

🍪 don't cry over spilled milk ◦ f+a ➝ 1633 words · Dad!Felix · ⤷Accidents happen is an easy thing to say when your daughter didn't just dump a cup of milk on your husband's new black carpet and all of a sudden— you can't breathe

╰┈➤ Fake Texts

🍪 teasing a shy felix until he accidentally confesses ◦ f+r

silly little fake text scenario

✩Kim Seungmin ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤Drabbles

a rose whose thorns made him misunderstood ◦ f ➝ 1070 · awkward! seungmin · ⤷ seungmin has sweet ways of showing you his affection, even if his antics are kind of flawed.

╰┈➤ Fake Texts

🍪 seungmin comforts an insecure reader ◦ f+a+r

✩ Yang Jeongin ✩

╰┈➤ One shots

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤Drabbles

🍪 Nothing here...yet.

╰┈➤ Fake Texts

©cookiecreates please dont steal my shit. thank you

[aaqlah]

Not so Berry 3.0 | Exotic Fruits Version

By: insta/twitter: @bellafranli | Twitch: aaqlah

The Not so Berry 3.0 challenge is based on the original Not so Berry challenge created by @lilsimsie. This challenge features exotic fruits as the names of its generations. It is important to note that NSB 3.0 does not follow all the colors of versions 1.0 and 2.0, nor their stories, and includes a bonus generation, meaning that there will be 11 generations in the legacy for this challenge.

This updated challenge for 2023 aims to cover a different gameplay from previous challenges, using more expansions and game packs for an even more enjoyable legacy. However, this does not mean that it cannot be played by those who do not have the expansion or game packs for the generation, it can be adapted during any generation for the packs you own in the coolest way for you and that fits best in the presented story.

During the challenge, you will notice that we will use items from the new update (Feb/2023), including legacies with hearing-impaired and trans individuals. The intention is not to interfere with gameplay but to create a more inclusive NSB challenge where everyone can feel seen. Therefore, we will follow the same basic rules already known by the simmer community, updated for 2023.

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank @Quel and the quelmunity for supporting me in creating a fun challenge for all of us. Special thanks to Endymnx who organized this tumblr for me. You guys are the most incredible people in the world who welcomed me when I needed it most. Thank you!

I would also like to add that this challenge was originally created in portuguese because I am brazilian. So big thanks to Claramrlx for helping translate this gigantic text to english haha 😂

Not so Berry 3.0 | Exotic Fruits Version

Basic Rules:

Each heir represents the color of the generation (hair, clothing, makeup…), but it is not necessary to apply this to skin color. This is totally optional, but it is a big part of the fun.

The colors of the spouses are not important. Unless otherwise stated, you can do whatever you want with them.

Money cheats can be used, but not excessively. Suggestion: use freerealestate to buy your first house, then continue the game without cheats.

You can live in any world, unless there is a rule about it in a certain generation.

All generations must complete career and aspiration goals, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

Keep the normal lifespan.

Infant and toddler traits can be freely chosen by the player.

Child and teen aspirations can be freely chosen by the player, unless specified in the generation.

All heirs must be firstborns, unless explicitly specified in the generation.

Have fun <3

Generation 1: White Strawberry | Color: White

Requires: StrangerVille Game Pack

You have always been extremely curious and had a investigative soul. But above all, helping other sims constantly motivated your heart. And so, when you heard about a mysterious town with sims acting strange, you knew that was your place. Moving to StrangerVille was definitely the best decision of your life. That was your destiny and you would fulfill it.

Traits: Genius, Good, Paranoid Aspiration: StrangerVille Mystery | Location Career: Secret Agent | Branch: Diamond Agent

Rules:

Complete the StrangerVille Mystery aspiration;

Complete the Logic and Programming skills;

Reach at least level 6 of the Charisma skill;

Be good friends with 4 infected sims in StrangerVille;

Marry a sim that you saved from contamination;

Live your entire life in StrangerVille.

Generation 2: Kiwi | Color: Green

Requires:Get Famous Expansion Pack

Growing up with a well-known relative can be tough, especially when that relative is your mother… Despite the constant exposure, you always felt proud to be the daughter of the hero of StrangeVille. It's understandable that other Sims are grateful to someone who saved an entire town from devastation. But growing up with the weight of having to do something even bigger was not easy. Your dream is to one day become even more famous and break the stigmas imposed by society for being hearing-impaired.

Traits: Ambitious, Self-absorbed, Extroverted Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity | Popularity Career: Any career, as long as you meet the requirement of being a 5-star celebrity at the end. Example of careers that give you fame: Painting, Writing, Entertainment, Music, Acting…

Rules:

Complete the World-Famous Celebrity aspiration;

Complete the chosen career;

Complete the Charisma skill, as well as the skill connected to the chosen profession, which can be: Painting, Writing, Comedy, Acting or any instrument…

Win an award in your career;

Buy your dream home as an adult;

Have a single daughter from a tumultuous relationship.

Generation 3: Yellow Watermelon | Color: Yellow

Requires: Cats & Dogs expansion pack and Cottage Living expansion pack (The latter only due to the Animal Lover trait, which can easily be replaced with Cat or Dog Lover).

You had the best education your parents could afford, with everything top-notch. However, you grew up in a complicated and uncommunicative family. Therefore, your dream was a simpler life away from the spotlight and the chaos of being a celebrity. Just thinking about famous sims made your stomach churn, in fact, just thinking about any sim made you nervous… But, there was one exception: your beloved grandma, who is your rock and best friend. Not being popular was never a problem because you always preferred animals anyway. The affection of kittens and puppies was always the purest and all you needed to have.

Traits: Animal Lover, Loner, Loyal Aspiration: Friend of the Animals | Animal Career: Veterinarian

Rules:

Be best friends with your grandma;

Buy a veterinary clinic;

Complete the Friend of the Animals aspiration;

Complete the Veterinarian career;

Complete the Veterinary and Animal Training skills;

Always have at least two animals in your household throughout your life;

Have your first child only at the end of your young adult phase or only in the adult phase, the choice is yours. Your daughter should be a science baby.

Generation 4: Lychee | Color: Red

Requires: City Living Expansion Pack and High School Expansion Pack (If you don't have it, complete any other aspiration during your teenage years that is not the same as your adult phase).

Your mother is your main reference of an independent sim, she raised you very well on her own, in the best way she could. But being alone was never your thing, you grew up wanting to explore the world. Every moment, the desire to visit new places in different cities, to meet new sims and maybe flirt... a lot. You wanted that very much too, because hook up with only one sim is not your style.

Traits: Romantic, Noncommittal, Lazy Aspiration: Teen: Drama Queen Adult: Serial Romantic | Love Note: If you finish the teenage aspiration early, you can start the adult aspiration in this phase. Career: Critic | Branch: Chosen by you

Rules:

Complete both teenage and adult aspirations;

Have at least 10 romantic relationships in your life;

Get married and divorced twice with different sims (you can take money from your spouses if you wish);

Have 3 children from different relationships (Note: we'll do it differently here, among the 3 children, you can choose who will inherit your legacy. It can be your firstborn or your favorite child… let's agree that every mother/father has one 😂).

Reach at least level 5 in the Critic career. As our generation is lazy, you don't have to complete the career if you don't want to.

Die as an elderly sim while woohooing.

Generation 5: Physalis | Color: Orange

Requires: Snowy Escape Expansion Pack and My First Pet Stuff Pack

Your family was large and chaotic, but despite the differences in preferences and dislikes, you all manage to get along very well. This makes these relationships quite miraculous. Unlike your siblings, your life was all about adventure and the unexpected. The butterflies in your stomach that you felt during these adventures were the best feeling in the world for you and all you wanted was to be an athlete. Despite always putting your career first, you love your children and strive to be a good mother, even though you know you weren't born for it.

Traits: Active, Adventurous, Foodie Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast | Athletic Career: Athlete

Rules:

Complete the Extreme Sports Enthusiast aspiration;

Reach at least level 7 in the Athlete career;

Complete the Gymnastics and Climbing skills;

Choose between Skiing or Snowboarding to complete;

Find your soulmate during one of your adventures;

Your romantic partner must have the Active or Adventurous trait like you;

Only have twin children: 1 girl and 1 boy (you can use cheats and/or lot traits for this);

Have a hamster as a family pet.

Generation 6: Grapefruit | Color: Peach

Requires: Base Game

Your mother put her career first, and you grew up feeling neglected. You felt the effort, yet she couldn't meet your expectations, much less your feelings. You carried the hurt in your heart, especially because you always suspected that she loved your brother more than you. And your brother…ugh, you can't even think about him because you hate him so much. Your only weakness is your father and the family hamster. Otherwise, the world is your playground.

Traits: Self-Assured, Evil, Perfectionist Aspiration: Public Enemy | Deviance Career: Criminal | Branch: Chosen by you

Rules:

Complete the Public Enemy aspiration;

Complete the Criminal career;

Complete the Mischief skill + if you choose the Boss branch, also complete the Mechanic skill. If you choose the Oracle branch, complete the Programming skill instead;

You have to hate your brother, be known by your mother, and be a good friend to your father;

Have a daughter with a fellow criminal;

As an adult, seek forgiveness from your brother and mother. Become good friends with both.

Generation 7: Dragon Fruit | Color: Pink

Requires: City Living expansion pack and Spa Day game pack

You grew up surrounded by crime. Both of your parents were top-notch criminals and you witnessed everything up close as a child and teenager. Despite all the bad things they did, you knew you were protected by them. You struggled with yourself, but loved them with all your heart and hated yourself for it. It was a true internal conflict, after all, you don't choose your parents. But one thing you can choose: your actions. That's why you were going to make up for all the bad things they did and give twice as much good to the world. You would show everyone that a criminal's daughter could do good and change her own destiny.

Traits: Cheerful, Outgoing, Goofball Aspiration: Zen Master | Wellness Career: Politics | Branch: Charity Organizer

Rules:

Leave home during adolescence and take no money from your parents;

You will start life with 24,000 simoleons given by your grandmother (you can use cheats for this);

Find your soulmate as a teenager;

Complete the Zen Master aspiration;

Complete the political career in the indicated branch;

Complete the wellness and charisma skills;

Random number of children: Using any random number generator, ask for the number of children you should have. The numbers must be from 1 to 5;

The heir to the legacy will be a trans woman.

Generation 8: Figo | Color: Lilac

Requires: Life in the Countryside Expansion and University Life Expansion

Your mother is the best sim in the world to you. How can someone be a well of kindness, philanthropy, and altruism? Well… You don't know the answer, nor the story behind it because your mother never told you, but you know she is much more than just an inspiration, she is a way of life. That's why you chose to follow in her footsteps, but listening to your own heart since your dream was to be an educator and lead a simple and happy life alongside the sims you love.

Traits: Lactose Intolerant, Bookworm, Childish Aspiration: Country Caretaker | Nature Career: Educator | Branch: Your choice

Rules:

Complete the Country Caretaker aspiration;

Complete the Educator career;

Complete the Research and Debate skill + If you choose the administrator branch, complete Charisma. If you choose the teacher branch, complete Logic;

Marry your soulmate, who must have the Family trait and already have children;

Have two children, one of them must be adopted. Add your spouse's children to the family.

Generation 9: Blueberry | Color: Blue

Requires: Get to Work Expansion Pack, University Life Expansion Pack, and High School Life Expansion Pack (this last one due to the "Overachiever" trait, which can be replaced for any other trait if you dont have this expansion pack).

Your mother was a great educator and you grew up inspired by the desire to learn. Going to college became a dream, and it was there that you discovered you wanted to be a detective. But not just any detective, you want to reach the top. As no one is perfect, you have a secret: you are a collector of objects. You can't see something new and beautiful without wanting to buy it, can you? Luckily, you will work hard to buy everything you want, just never let anyone into your basement.

Traits: Materialistic, Neat, Overachiever Aspiration: Academic | Knowledge Career: Detective

Rules:

Go to college and study psychology;

Complete the Academic aspiration during your time in university;

After completing the Academic aspiration, you may choose another aspiration to complete throughout the generation, if you wish;

Complete the Research and Debate skill;

Complete the Detective career;

Live on a lot worth 90,000 simoleons during adulthood, due to the materialistic trait;

Have a basement full of knick-knacks, due to the same trait.

Generation 10: Cassis | Color: Black

Requires: City Living Expansion Pack, Get Together Expansion Pack, and High School Expansion Pack

To say that you're popular is an understatement considering how well-liked you are. You are loved, admired, and everyone wants to be your friend. It's almost as if you exude a hypnotic aura. As a result, you have every sim in the palm of your hand, and you like it that way. If anyone ever dislikes you, it will sound like an insult, and you will do everything to resolve the situation and get all the appreciation you deserve.

Traits: Outgoing, Creative, Hates Children Aspiration: Teen: Admirable Icon

Adult: Friend of the World | Popularity Career: Social Media | Branch: Public Relations Rules:

Complete the Friend of the World aspiration;

Complete the Social Media career in the indicated branch;

Complete the Charisma and Writing skills;

Have a summer fling - Fall in love with a supernatural sim: werewolf, vampire, alien, spellcaster, or mermaid.

Have a child by accident as a young adult with your supernatural summer fling;

Do not marry the father of your child.

Generation 11: Guaraná | Two-toned hair + Heterochromia

Requires: Parenthood Game Pack, Dream Home Decorator Stuff Pack

You're a mixture of the mundane and the supernatural. You're not sure who you are, nor even what you like. Nothing you do seems to work out, and indecision is a constant in your life. Additionally, you and your father don't see eye to eye and have a difficult relationship.

Traits: Clumsy, Geek, Erratic Aspiration: Super Parent | Family Career: Interior Decorator

Rules:

Complete the Super Parent aspiration;

Complete the Interior Decorator career;

Complete the Parenting, Handiness, and Charisma skills;

Have a love triangle: Fall in love with your best friend and a sim with gray hair;

Have a child with one of them;

Not know who the father of your child is until they become a toddler;

Live in 3 different worlds.

Ps: If you find any translation errors, please contact me via twitter or twitch so I can fix it. Thank yoooou <3

[tachyon-omlette]

so I hit 100 followers recently - which may not be much, but it's enough for me to feel like people like my stuff <3 <3 love all of y'all

so to celebrate I'm hosting a dtiys

(version without overlaid text will be under the cut w extra closeups)

rules:

> you know the drill: draw this in your style. tfa Eda ref is here & Tachyon ref is here but you can do any iteration, not just tfa (Eda's refs r in his tag... if you look). you can change up the pose or the perspective or whatever you want as long as Eda & Tachyon r both there

> post ur entry to trunglr (here) or insta & tag me when you do (insta is tachyon0mlette), I'll be reblogging & filing all of these under #tachyon100dtiys (put your post under this tag if you post on insta). still counts as one entry even if you post it in more than one place

> goes without saying but don't trace or use ai for the love of god

last day/deadline will be March 10th - ik starting this at the start/restart of school sux so I might extend the deadline later but I'll leave it at 2months for rn

Prizes:

> 1st place: colored/shaded halfbody

> 2nd place: lined halfbody

> 3rd place: silly doodle of your choice

have fun & don't stress

full image & closeups:

~5ft tall tricycle minicon vs ~700ft tall heir of destruction

[aycek]

Bro I heard this version of this song and literally fucking RAN to draw this...

it was like they put something in the water, damn near primal instinct to just jump right in and draw this like there was no tomorrow. Scrooge McDuck cartoon swan dive into a square Procreate canvas with nothing but a song, an IPencil and a dream lurching it's way through my blood stream like some fucked up art driven parasite.

Anyways, Aradia :3

There's a version with song matching text on my insta, but I know not everyone is gonna click that link or listen to the song I linked up there so I'm posting it without :((

BUT GEEEEE I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!!

[evereverest2]

Master of Masterposts

oc’s and original shit on @2evereverest2

enjoy my tomb

~

minors dni. you can stalk all u want bc i ain’t know but if i catch u ur blocked.

COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN (see them here)

socials

21+ discord server — hang out with bros, see my spicy art, it’s a good time

Ao3 — pretty much what i post writing wise here is posted there

insta — my ass does not tag shit on instagram but i post freely without burden. the things i post on there also make it onto my oc side blog ^^

ko-fi — buy me a kofi or commission me <33

patreon — exclusive nsfw content

my fics below the cut !!

Ghost

Little Monster: masterpost | q&a

~ a rather dark series about Terzo x Omega from the band Ghost. ongoing

Terzomega Drabbles/Requests:

Fallen Angel AU | Fallen Angel (smut)

~ just a little experiment with some different versions of Terzomega

The Mirror

- a request (w smut) ft terzomega after a concert

Tender

~ subby omega and dommy terzo w a sweet twist

Imagine

~ terzo wakes up to a surprise

Beer Bottle

~fluffy comfort for a hurt terzo

Mourning

~short story about omega’s reaction to terzo’s death

Sunrise

~a fluffy comic about a sweet morning

Headcanons:

alpha x secondo (with art) | part 2

Valorant

Cyphmen: one | two

~ loosely tied one shots of Cypher x Omen

Fade x reader

~ one shot request from a friend

wtf kinda username is that, huh? was evereverest1 already taken? dumbass

[hufflepuffxmrdrs]

Modern Marauders Headcanons (boys version)

Remus:

needs glasses for reading (won't admit it tho)

phone in dark mode

extremely interested in politics

never goes anywhere without his phone

goes to climate demos with Lily

gives online study sessions

the type to text HAHAHAHA when sitting there like •_•

skater.

James:

wears contact lenses for important occasions

phone in light mode

always wears a watch

spams the groupchat with Sirius and Marlene

refuses to get tiktok but watches insta reels

secretly loves disney movies

makes playlists for Lily

collects patterned socks and wears them unirconically

Sirius:

phone in dark mode

lives at concerts/festivals (always drags the others along)

phone is always at 1%

no license, drives anyway

listens to artic monkeys

loves playing lasertag

communicates in memes

can't resist challenging Regulus in Mario kart even though he always loses

Peter:

is tiktok famous for always trying the newest food trends

never let's his phone battery drop under 20%

phone in light mode

always forgets where he put it tho

volunteers at the the local animal shelter

spends too much time on powerpoints

uses duolingo to learn the most random language

wins online chess against the ai

Frank:

makes Alice watch cute romance movies with him

let's his hair air dry after a shower

loves texting this face every chance he gets :D

was the first to have a driver's license out of the friendgroup and involuntarily became a personal chauffeur

phone in light mode

secretly a swiftie

prefers to walk most places if they're close enough

always carries sunscreen around

Regulus:

gamer.

phone in dark mode

probably joint a cult at some time because he got asked on the street and couldn't say no

has a locked folder in his notes app that is actually a journal, no one knows about it

drinks energy drinks like water

actually really tidy handwriting (uses goodnotes for studying)

writes poetry and posts it on tumblr

Barty:

plays electric guitar

has his own cinema room in his parents basement (they watch movies together there a lot)

is in therapy for anger issues

listens to punk

phone in dark mode

competes in undergound boxing as a hobby

junk food addict

calls everyone "bro" no matter who he's talking to

Evan:

tatoo artist

has to wear braces

is a natural dark-blonde but bleaches his hair to make it even lighter

the only one to know about Regs Journal

only uses over ear headphones because the others hurt his ears

creates digital art on his ipad and carries it around everywhere

phone in light mode

is secretly into skincare

[redundant2]

Thursday must be tea day

From SecondhandCoke on Reddit who allegedly has a relative who is connected to Netflix:

"Okay I have some tea. This is all gossip, but it makes other rumors make sense, AND it feeds into something that everyone is pretty sure is Meghan is trying to make happen.

So allegedly, Meghan is not invited and will not be attending the coronation. I still hear mixed reports about Harry.

Remember the reconciliation meetings with the Royal Family that were rumored? That was Sussex Spin on the fact that PaPaChuck3 has called for an audience with Harry. It's NOT, though, as they'd like us to think, some kind of reconciliation and apology. Meghan is not invited. If she comes she will not be given audience. The children will always be given audience, but she will never be given the honor of another personal audience with the King ever again in her life.

Anyway, Chuck summoned Harry to talk about whether or not Harry would have a role in the coronation and the fact that obviously his ceremonial role to swear fealty to the crown has been undermined by the book, the Netflix show, the book tour interviews, et al. I heard from my source in LA (because Meghan is a fucking sieve and keeps nothing private), that the King has said that the Royal Family will not be apologizing for anything, not now, not ever, and certainly not publicly. On the contrary Harry would have to publicly apologize and recant the litany of irrefutable lies to play the small ducal role played by the peerage in the coronation ceremony....

Now here's the thing: my source texted this to me today....

Source: Check IMDB about the coronation. Then check MM unforgiven.

Me: What in the fuck is this?

........Here is the condensed version of what the fuck a lot of people think this is. Again this is rumor, but it's compelling rumor:

Charles has refused to apologize for anything. On the contrary he has demanded that Harry publicly recant and apologize. He isn't even asking for Meghan to because she won't and even if she did, she'd never have access to the family again anyway.

This is the provocation for Meghan's latest tell-all "Unforgiven." It's a documentary short telling "Meghan's story..." again... probably a new one. To my knowledge, a network hasn't picked it up yet.

On the actual Coronation IMDB, only Archie and Lily are listed. This makes me wonder three things:

Are Merchie and Lilibucks on there just because Meghan added them herself? Seems like the palace would keep their IMBD locked down so Boaty McBoatface doesn't end up on there (and Boaty SHOULD be on there.) Sinners who've been watching IMDB, have the Marklets always been listed? Have Ginge and Cringe ever been listed and taken down? Anyway maybe the Sussexlets have been added without any proper permission.

Why is Prince Harry neither on the Coronation nor Unforgiven? Is he on the verge on apology to his family? Is that why his children are listed on IMDB but not him. He hasn't decided?

Unforgiven is said to be coming out on January 23 (or in January of 2023). That's fast. Is that what she's been doing? No network looks poised to air it. What's she going to do, upload it to Insta or YouTube? Will it tell new lies about palace racism, like that Meghan was forced to dress as a maid? MOST importantly, why is this coming out so fast? Is it because Harry is going to apologize and she wants to get out on front, say he is being coerced and that the mistreatment has made his abuse and addiction issues "almost unsurvivable" and so she is announcing their DIVORCE? Is it coming out so fast because she wants to drop a load of mud about the palace because they are getting ready to drop their dossier on her?

I don't know, but I know this: narcissists are like toddlers and when toddlers are quiet, they are getting ready to create a huge mess. Meghan's a narc who's been too quiet for too long. What kind of mess can we next expect?"

[houseofbrat]

Hi:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SaintMeghanMarkle/ comments/10gf8ma/could_this_all_be_preemptive/ j52q7fj/

Thoughts?

https://www.reddit.com/r/SaintMeghanMarkle/comments/10gf8ma/could_this_all_be_preemptive/

More importantly, this is some of the gossip roaming around Hollywood:

Okay I have some tea.  This is all gossip, but it makes other rumors make sense, AND it feeds into something that everyone is pretty sure is Meghan is trying to make happen.

So allegedly, Meghan is not invited and will not be attending the coronation. I still hear mixed reports about Harry.

Remember the reconciliation meetings with the Royal Family that were rumored? That was Sussex Spin on the fact that PaPaChuck3 has called for an audience with Harry. It's NOT, though, as they'd like us to think, some kind of reconciliation and apology. Meghan is not invited. If she comes she will not be given audience. The children will always be given audience, but she will never be given the honor of another personal audience with the King ever again in her life.

Anyway, Chuck summoned Harry to talk about whether or not Harry would have a role in the coronation and the fact that obviously his ceremonial role to swear fealty to the crown has been undermined by the book, the Netflix show, the book tour interviews, et al.  I heard from my source in LA (because Meghan is a fucking sieve and keeps nothing private), that the King has said that the Royal Family will not be apologizing for anything, not now, not ever, and certainly not publicly. On the contrary Harry would have to publicly apologize and recant the litany of irrefutable lies to play the small ducal role played by the peerage in the coronation ceremony....

Now here's the thing: my source texted this to me today....

Source: Check IMDB about the coronation. Then check MM unforgiven.

Me:  What in the fuck is this?

........Here is the condensed version of what the fuck a lot of people think this is. Again this is rumor, but it's compelling rumor:

Charles has refused to apologize for anything. On the contrary he has demanded that Harry publicly recant and apologize. He isn't even asking for Meghan to because she won't and even if she did, she'd never have access to the family again anyway.

This is the provocation for Meghan's latest tell-all "Unforgiven." It's a documentary short telling "Meghan's story..." again... probably a new one. To my knowledge, a network hasn't picked it up yet.

On the actual Coronation IMDB, only Archie and Lily are listed. This makes me wonder three things:

Are Merchie and Lilibucks on there just because Meghan added them herself? Seems like the palace would keep their IMBD locked down so Boaty McBoatface doesn't end up on there (and Boaty SHOULD be on there.) Sinners who've been watching IMDB, have the Marklets always been listed? Have Ginge and Cringe ever been listed and taken down? Anyway maybe the Sussexlets have been added without any proper permission.

Why is Prince Harry neither on the Coronation nor Unforgiven? Is he on the verge on apology to his family? Is that why his children are listed on IMDB but not him.  He hasn't decided?

Unforgiven is said to be coming out on January 23 (or in January of 2023).  That's fast. Is that what she's been doing? No network looks poised to air it. What's she going to do, upload it to Insta or YouTube? Will it tell new lies about palace racism, like that Meghan was forced to dress as a maid? MOST importantly, why is this coming out so fast? Is it because Harry is going to apologize and she wants to get out on front, say he is being coerced and that the mistreatment has made his abuse and addiction issues "almost unsurvivable" and so she is announcing their DIVORCE?  Is it coming out so fast because she wants to drop a load of mud about the palace because they are getting ready to drop their dossier on her?

I don't know, but I know this: narcissists are like toddlers and when toddlers are quiet, they are getting ready to create a huge mess. Meghan's a narc who's been too quiet for too long. What kind of mess can we next expect?

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Gee, perhaps Meghan IS getting ready to announce she’s divorcing Harry. 

[fnf-beyond]

Hello and welcome to my first au I ever came up with in the FNF fandom!

First up are some rules about what you can and canNOT do with my art.

1. You cannot steal, trace, modify, or otherwise edit my artwork in any way shape or form.

2. You cannot repost my artwork to your blog, or ANY other platform you own/run in any capacity (like Pinterest or Twitter). That counts as stealing, even if you give credit for it. I did not give you permission to do so and I never will. If you would LIKE for me to post my art somewhere else (Twitter and Insta and those apps are an immediate “no” as I don’t have them and never will), all you have to do is ask. I will most likely say yes.

3. If you wish to use my art as a profile picture or a banner (unless you’re “yourlocalcostplayer/theunicorngirl6109”, you’ve lost this privilege completely), you MUST give credit to me, and put it as the *first thing* in your Bio/About Me so it’s easily seen.

4. If and ONLY IF I make a base that I (and ONLY I and @starified-lizzy- as that’s my main) label as “free for you guys to use” (once again, THEY lost this privilege), you can use it without asking, HOWEVER you MUST give me credit for making the original base, and link it back to the original post.

5. If I start a DTIYS (Draw this in your style), you can join without asking! However you must follow Rule 1 completely in that; you CANNOT trace over my art while doing so. It has to be done completely on your own (hence the name; Draw this in YOUR style. Not mine). Trust me, I can tell if you trace my shit, because I know my style. You don’t. And when you post it to your blog, make sure you credit me for starting the DTIYS.

6. Don’t try to sell my art (like try to get money from it). That’s yucky and gross and you need serious mental help if you do this.

Onto the actual au stuff!

Here are some things regarding names to keep in mind for this au;

Boyfriend’s name in this is Blue

Girlfriend’s name in this is Sophia

BB, from the VS Big Brother mod, is named Navy in this.

Blue’s mother is named Indigo in this.

Spirit’s human name was Sebastian.

Corrupted Blue when he just kinda… shows up, when we get to that arc, is referred to as C.

Server for au!!

The rough timeline for this au, without spoiling, is as follows:

1. A written version of the original game, that fits with this au (no singing or beep boops for the entire story- tho Blue does ‘beep’ when startled).

2. Corruption era, starting off extremely similar to PhantomFear’s mod, before it diverts into my own version of the story after Nexus Pico.

3. A bit of… interesting things regarding the Corruption Era

4 & 4.5 are no longer happening. Maybe in a oneshot or something I’ll write it how I originally viewed it, but it won’t be canon.

5. Wrapping up the story with some lore “explaining.”

6. Technically not an arc, but any mini stories I feel like adding over time, and some other things like- wrapping up other character’s personal problems that I didn’t get to in the main story.

I will plan on updating this story with at least two chapters per month. I can’t promise any more than that, as writers block hits hard and fast, and I can’t control it. (Plus also I have work and college all week, with only one day off normally).

Here are some tags you can use to tag any fanart you make!

Some of the more generic tags you can use are #fnf au, or #fnf corruption au, paired with any of the fanart tags you see fit to use.

A specific one you can use to really single it out (which I will also add to every canon thing for this au after I post this) is #Star’s FNF au, or #Star’s corruption au!

#au things, #fnf au thoughts, is a tag I use for rants about this au.

#chaos quartet things, is for any posts regarding Spirit, C, Soul, and Blue in any degree, whether it be art, memes, or info dumps.

#trouble trio, is for any posts with Spirit, C, and Soul ONLY. Blue is not included in this.

Here is a link to the very start of the fic!

I hope you guys all enjoy your time here! I want this to be a safe space where we can just geek out over our little critters of characters and bounce ideas and headcanons off of each other without being judged!

(don’t be weird about any of it though, like no NSFW stuff. That stuff can make literally anyone uncomfy, so don’t. This isn’t the place for your… fantasies.)

[tdmtdmtd]

COOLMATH GAMES ARG

yes, you read that right, that one website you used to use during school has an ARG in progress. I only found this out yesterday thanks to a TikTok by six1four7

so naturally I went to the cmg website to see if it was true and sure enough

The website has cracked and clicking on it takes you to this webpage

There is a chance you click it and go to the URL /where-am-i where the page name is changed and a title is added

Decoding the Morse and the Polybius give the same phrase: IMLOST.

Decoding the binary you get

Hello? Can you hear me?

I'm looking for someone.

I hear strange noises.

Please, help me.

So without knowing what to do, I think of FNaF and check the code of the page to find nothing. So I go back to TikTok and look for the CoolMath Games ARG. Only finding three other videos, and one of them had an idea

Nat here decided to check the CMG Instagram, which is the only place that covers what's happening to the website. So, checking the Instagram, turns out this started October 17th with a post about finding an old folder in the office next to them. I can't show it because I used my video on the TikTok from earlier, but I have screenshots from the files within the video.

The rest are printed out emails I didn't feel like trying to get screenshots of, so if you want to, go for it.

From these documents, we find that CMG was working on a project #675,

"It's a fun, classic game players would love", "The main character would be... in a world of black and white."

They wanted to give the game some color, but had trouble lighting it up. They wanted to add a monster to the game, that would take place in a forest, with a child protagonist. The game planned to have balloons and puzzles related. The game was in fact finished, however the developer didn't want to take out something the team wanted to get rid of, so the team scrapped the project and moved onto another developer.

After the list of emails, there are some screenshots of the game.

However, I want to focus on the page with the text "can not proceed", if you don't recognize the face in there, that is the monster from the CMG version of hangman. Now I've been trying to connect the dots of this game to hangman for you, but if you don't see the similarities, don't worry, we'll get to that later. Because the next day, we got another update.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Coolmath Games (@coolmathgames)

And the next day

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Coolmath Games (@coolmathgames)

And the next day...

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Coolmath Games (@coolmathgames)

And then some time goes by with nothing. And by some time I mean three days. Then we get a crack

Hell, even earlier today there was another update. The prototype is still there in the dropbox.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Coolmath Games (@coolmathgames)

Got all that? Great! Now I wanna show you the connections from this to CMG Hangman.

In CMG Hangman, you play as a child in a black and white forest with faded balloons. It is labeled as a classic where you solve the puzzle

And when you start the game, you encounter not just a monster, but the same monster from earlier.

My prediction is that the game in the ARG is an "earlier" version of Hangman. But I didn't have much else to solve or do, so bored, I decided to play the game pinned on the insta, not thinking of anything.

Everyone meet Coolmath Games: The Game (spoiler warning, good game go play!)

The story goes as follows. You, an intern, are arriving at your first day in the CMG office. After giving everyone smoothies brought to you from the Hangman kid something goes wrong and the game the team was planning to launch later explodes with game fragments going everywhere. It's up to you to grab at least 3 fragments and put together a game of your own. The way you do that is by doing puzzles around the office. One of those puzzles is somewhat 3D and well, it looks like this:

what's interesting is that this puzzle is right in completed right next to Vicky, the one controlling social media for CMG

Does that face look familiar, it's Maddy, the one who found the prototype. But hey maybe it's nothing I mean you are allowed to use a cartoon version of yourself as your profile picture sure, and maybe they weren't allowed to use real names in the game. Sure. But then we go to the story of the game over on Cleo's computer, and when you ask for the name of the game, you get this.

And since it's a text game, I'm just gonna type out the important part of the game out on here instead of using screenshots.

You find yourself in a small, dark cabin. A pervasive smell of pine and mud fills your nostrils, and a sharp, cold wind crashes against the rickety windows. Behind you is a hallway, on your right is a hatch leading to the basement, and in front, the main entrance. (main entrance > start walking > head left > Camp out here. It's better than that creepy cabin) You set Camp - leaning up against a sturdy oak, your legs pulled up into your jacket. You slowly allow yourself to fall asleep, only to awaken in a familiar place... [you're back at the cabin]

The second page of the first Instagram post says as follows:

"The developer decided it would be fun to 'punish' the player for not exploring the different routes. If the player decides to always take the middle routes, they will get no puzzles."

To me the fact that these two things are so close together feel important, and, but maybe the game is unrelated, but this is where I am now. Sitting in my bedroom at 2:48am, finally finishing this long text post about the Coolmath Games ARG, asking for help solving it. If there's another update later today, I'll update my post, most likely by reblogging it or making a new post and linking this. Who knows.

[aghhtdraws]

Are you still in the jade armor fandom? :0/gen

Hello! Sorry for replying to this so late!

Basically, the "fandom" as such or fanbase has been so small online, that to me I was not sure it existed even xD But yes! I am still a Jade fan :D Jade Armor is the best cartoon! It's not even that old to me, I just started watching it in the spring of 2023, when it started airing here again. So I've been a fan for just a year or so since march!

I'm curious where this question comes from!

Would be nice if there were more fans online, but honestly, I have always thought that maybe that's a monkey's paw wish - and that really, it's a bit nice exchange of fate in a way - that it seems that while the online fandom is small, perhaps the show has many offline fans, people actually watching it across multiple channels! (since it's available both on big channels like RTL, but also online in their online versions, maybe it just has many viewers from there)

and it's a fun show with a very cool style and premise, so I'm happy if it has fans at all, whether I actually see them online or not. So I haven't been very active in fandom spaces myself, mostly posting fanart online, because I just don't have time + energy as much for some fandom stuff anymore I guess xD

bc there's so few fancontent online, I really appreciate that the official jade armor insta has so much info and posts about it.

I've seen a lot of shows go under after it's been decided they're not profitable, or similarly, many fandoms sorta dwindle and become smaller after the show has been cancelled, so... it's nice to know that, if a 2nd season really has been put into production (as we've seen announced online), that the shareholders behind the show are willing to fund the studio to make another season. I'm really curious to see where they could be going with the story and characters, since the world and relationships they've shown feel really well-built, like they're real and there's history there. So I'm just happy to see if it will really be aired and that the team has put as much care and effort in as in the first season. I really like the show!

I might put up more fanart, since I've been doing sketches recently, but have been thinking of posting more fanfic too. The show should have at least one fanfic on AO3 (by me), but havent had time to finish more. I'm curious to see more but not really as sad about it since the fandom itself is still very new!

One thing I'd maybe like to personally change is like, make a small wikipedia for it? not on the current main fanwiki site, but just a small one for reference? and another thing is... the tvtropes page? TVtropes in general has so much misinfo sometimes since no one is obligated to keep refs and it's based on "fandom memory" haha... but it's so weird to me how much of the text there is ppl comparing Jade Armor to Miraculous, even tho they are such different shows after the first glance xD Seriously! you can make normal comparisons without letting ppl know how much you hate the other show xD

it's a similar situation to earlier fanbases like ppl comparing Winx vs WITCH, Jake Long vs Juniper Lee, The Book of Life vs Coco... it's as if online cartoon fans apparently just have nothing better to do than make their shows fight xD

lol sorry for the wall of text i've just been thinking abt this show a lot already and this is my way of answering your question I guess xD

Fingers crossed that the show has a build-up of fans, both offline and online!

[manicpixxiedreambitch]

So I’m kind of pissed off. If you haven’t seen, I got rejected by a guy who was all over me at prom because he showed his parents a picture we took together and they said I looked old, like 30 or 40 years old. (We’re calling him Matty) (also not that it’s particularly relevant but he is a trans boy) And he just ended up blocking me on insta without saying a word. I found out why he blocked me from a mutual friend (We’re calling her Chloe). I ended up crying about it a couple days later. I’ve never really had any insecurities. I don’t think it ever really occurred to me to believe there was anything ugly or unattractive or wrong about my body. I thought I was lucky enough to skip the whole insecurity thing until just last week when I found out why I got blocked. And for the first time, I felt old in a way that’s ugly. I couldn’t look in the mirror without seeing a 40 year old version of myself. I ended up texting Matty (even though he blocked me) how I felt. I said that I found out why he blocked me, and that I didn’t deserve that. That I am beautiful and it was my prom night, and I felt beautiful that night, and the way he acted was immature, rude, and outright disrespectful. It was hurtful, and he had no right to disrespect me like that. I mentioned how Chloe had said Matty was looking for something serious, but that must’ve been a lie if he was willing to outright BLOCK someone over something as superficial as their looks based on someone else’s opinion, especially when he was all over me at prom. I said that it was low, and scumbag behavior. And I told him that I didn’t care whether he apologized or not, but just to do better for the next girl.

And I sent the text, and I followed it by saying that I wasn’t trying to be crazy or anything, and that Matty was within their right to reject me. But rejecting me based on how someone else said I looked? Fuck that, I didn’t deserve that.

And I asked Chloe to tell Matty to unblock me so he could see that message. She said he did, but he never responded, nor was there ever any indication that he read it, and he blocked me again.

After all that, I felt better and the insecurity went away.

Today I was talking to another girl I like (we’re calling her Ava). And she asked me why some people were calling me crazy. And I was confused. Apparently, Matty AND Chloe are both calling me crazy. I can only assume it’s about this. But I’m pissed. Ava says she doesn’t think I am, and even if I was, she wouldn’t mind because that just adds personality.

I’m starting to wonder though if I am crazy for sending that message to Matty.

On one hand: I feel like I had every right to say all that and that it was reasonable for me to have gotten upset at Matty like that. How dare he make me feel insecure like that? Especially when I’ve never been insecure about how I looked before. He acted like a scum bag and he needed to be told off. I’m also kind of mad at Chloe right now, too because she was calling me crazy behind my back.

On the other hand: I feel like maybe I was a little crazy for that. Maybe I bothered him at the prom or something and it’s more than what his family said. Though if that were the case, I wish he’d told me. But maybe I shouldn’t have pushed it and just let it go?

[yaminerua]

I’d never switched to it before my laptop died ages ago bc I hadn’t had a chance to add in the text of my art account name at the time

but I forgot I’d already sent myself a version of it back then finished without text to test how the colours looked on my phone and I found it in my emails today when I was looking for something else I’d sent myself forever ago;;

so after a long time I finally decided to change my art page icons on Twitter and insta bc it’s been the same icon since like 2018 and it’s super out of date bc I don’t even have long hair anymore lmao

[instaproapk2]

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[12-edition]

Chapitre VIII : Mon jardin secret

[Publication originale : 12 juillet 2023]

 «Je parle moins maintenant. Je terrasse plus mes ennemis par l’éloquence. Plus je vieillis, plus je ferme ma gueule. Aujourd’hui ce qu’il me faudrait c’est le médaillon d'Harpocrate, avec le doigt sur la bouche […] Je suis, désolé, de jamais être revenu vous voir.»

Dans ce texte, je vais dire des choses que je ne devrais sûrement pas dire, mais j’ai déjà dit pas mal de choses ici et je ne veux pas qu’il y est de limites, c’est le seul endroit où j’ai envie de tout dire, ne rien cacher. Et puis c’est ma journée aujourd’hui, alors je fais ce que je veux, okay.

Tout repose sur un principe à ton sujet depuis un certain temps maintenant, se taire, ne rien dire, c’est une chose que j’ai appris, contre mon gré, comme tu m’a laissé, j’ai continué à penser à toi, mais en silence, encore aujourd’hui je ne te parle pas à chaque fois que je le voudrais, je me contrôle, donc, se taire, quoi qu’il arrive, en voyant une de tes photos de profile, trouver que ta nouvelle coupe et la couleur de cheveux te rend encore plus belle et sexy que par le passé, mais ne rien dire, en sachant que cela ne me concerne pas, et ne pas prendre le risque de t’ennuyer ou de parler de choses dont je ne devrais pas, garder le silence, ne pas te parler à chaque fois que j’en ai envie, de peur de te gêner ou pire de ne pas recevoir de réponse, voilà pourquoi j’écris ici. Quand la faiblesse me prend je t’envoie une chanson, pour te rappeler que j’existe. Toutes ces choses que je ne peux pas dire, ces choses qui me manquent, ta voix, ton odeur, ton goût, ta chaleur, ne plus passer autant de temps que l'on a passé ensemble dans le passé me manque, beaucoup. Ne plus voir de messages de toi en me réveillant le matin, c'est pas arrivé si souvent que ça, mais ça me plaisait bien. Je ne veux pas trop m'attarder sur le côté charnel, je ne veux pas que tu crois qu’il n’y a que ça, comme je le disais dans le texte sur mon père, il a tellement plus. Mais le fait est que tu reste une sorte de fantasme, et j’aime ça.

Cela fait maintenant plus d’un an que j’ai quitté Twitter, la plus longue période depuis 2011 je crois, et je pense pas que j’y retourner un jour, mais je ne regrette pas d’y avoir était, sinon je ne t’aurais jamais rencontré, les moments où l’on partagé des choses à l'attention de l’autre mais sans le mentionner me manque, bien sûr. Et avec les changements récents, je ne peux même plus voir ton compte sans être inscrit, donc. Si on s’était croisé dans la vraie vie, tu n’aurais pas fait attention à moi, comme tout le monde, et moi je t’aurai sûrement regardé mais en me retourant ou pas dans les yeux, j’en suis incapable, tu aurais continué ton chemin et voilà. En fait, je n’aime pas la personne que je suis quand je suis influencé par Twitter, et les réseaux en général. Je n’en ai quasiment plus, à part insta, mais mes jours y sont comptés, et il y a ici, Tumblr, que je ne considère pas vraiment comme un réseau social, mais plus comme un moyen d’expression ou un blog. S’il te plaît respect cet endroit je n’ai pas envie de le supprimer, viens en paix ou sinon ne vient pas, j’aime ce que nous avons ici, même si ce n’est pas grand-chose.

« Since you’ve gone

I’ve been lost without a trace

I dream at night

I can only see your face

I look around

But it’s you I can’t replace

I feel so cold

And I long for your embrace

I keep crying baby, baby please »

Il m’arrive encore de me réveiller certaines nuits, réveiller par toi, enfin la version de toi que je me suis créé en fait, celle qui est avec moi depuis toute ces années, je l’aime beaucoup, ne te méprends pas, j’aime aussi la vraie toi, peut importe ta version, pour être honnête. Mais la version de toi qui m’accompagne est très sympa, pour quelqu’un comme moi qui suis très attaché au sommeil, il faut vraiment que ce soit quelqu’un de spéciale pour l’interrompre, j’aime cette version de toi, elle est douce, compréhensive, mais elle n’est pas passive, elle a son petit caractère, c’est à cela que je sais que c’est bien toi, mais bon c’est sûrement des divagations de mon cerveau malade. 

«Ross : Moi l'avenir je le voyais comme ça, ma future femme et moi dans le lit avec mon fils qui débarquerait et qui aimerait bien monter sur le lit et on lirait le journal. On se bagarrait au sujet d'un article scientifique

Joey : Oui c’est une jolie image, et tu peux peut-être encore l'avoir.

Ross : Non ! Non ! Non, c'est fichu, tu vois bien, Rachel est partie avec ce mec. Et mon bébé est avec elle. Non je dis plus rien c'est utopique, cette image n'arrête pas de s'éloigner de moi.

Joey : Hé, je peux te poser une question ? Dans cette, dans cette projection de toi avec ta femme, est-ce que ta femme c'est Rachel ?

Ross : Ça l'a été à une époque. Aujourd'hui, j'avoue qu'elle n'a plus vraiment de visage. Mais elle est toujours très bien roulée.

Joey : Bien vu. Mais, le visage que tu vois, son visage c'est celui de Rachel ?

Ross : Non mais justement! Ça serait tellement plus facile si ça devait être le sien.»

Tu veux que je te parle de choses qui m’ont blessé, allons-y, ce fameux week-end du Puy du Fou, enfin, je devrais dire cette humiliation, il n'y a pas d’autres mots, vous avez dû bien vous marrez après m'avoir lourdé, le poids mort que j’étais pour vous, je crois que je ne vous pardonnerez jamais vraiment, à tous, de m’avoir fait endurer cela. Le plus pénible à vivre c’était de voir que tu te comportais avec ce connard comme si vous étiez petits amis, amants et vous l’étiez peut-être déjà après tout, je sais bien que nous deux on était déjà plus rien à ce moment là, si tenté que l'on est était quelque chose, mais de vous voir ensemble comme ça, intime, toi qui portais son pull, peut être le truc le plus intime possible, ça m’a tuer de l’intérieur, sérieusement, pour prendre une image, c’était comme regarder son ex s’envoyait en l’air avec un autre devant soi. Pour couronner le tout, ce connard m’a fait la morale, avant que je parte et avant de me virer, et personne n’a rien dit, vous étiez tous complices de ça, je sais que j’ai des défauts, mais personne n’a rien fait, ça vous arranger bien. Après être rentré, après de longues heures de route, je me connecte sur Twitter, je vois que tout le monde rigole, tu envoies une photo de toi dans ton bain, l’humiliation ultime (possible que ça, c'était après le premier rassemblement, je confond de plus en plus avec le temps), j’aurai dû tout supprimer à ce moment-là. Ces moments ont longtemps été marqué au fer rouge dans ma mémoire, alors quand ce même connard m’a fait un sms en janvier 2021, pour s’excuser, pour dire que j’ai était plus qu’un ami pour lui, j’ai savouré ce moment, parce que je méritait ça, je méritais des excuses, pour tout le temps que j’ai consacré à ce groupe, dont j’ai était le cofondateur, pour toutes ces réunions durant des nuits et des nuits, je suis sûrement celui qui c’était impliqué le plus dans cette histoire, tout ça pour se faire viré comme un malpropre. J’ai aussi pris ton retour comme une récompense, je méritait cela aussi, je sais que j’ai merdé, mais je ne méritait pas d’être traité comme un pestiféré. Bref, et puis le temps à fait son œuvre, et récemment d’apprendre que vous aviez souffert aussi m’a -je doit bien l’avouer- aidé, m’a soulagé.

Ces textes sont très importants, vraiment, surtout quand je vois tes retours, ça fait chaud au cœur, littéralement, j’ai l’impression d’être en phase avec toi, même si c’est sûrement qu’une illusion. Je me sens exister.

Il faut peut-être que je t’explique la façon dont j’écris, dès que je publie un chapitre, j’ai souvent l’idée pour le chapitre suivant, dès qu’une idée me vient je l’écris, peut importe où je suis et ce que je fait, j’ai des brouillons papiers et numériques, quand j’ai la chance d’avoir une réponse de toi cela booste mon imagination. Peut-être que tu te rappelles que quand on se parlait, je te disais qu’il fallait que je marche, c’est toujours le cas, je réfléchis mieux en marchant, certains moments de ces écrits sont issus de la marche, beaucoup de ces moments d'ailleurs. Il me faut toujours deux ou trois jours pour comprendre que tu n’es plus là, enfin que tu es repartie, là-bas ailleurs, j’aimerais que tu m’y emmènes, je suis sûr que ça serait instructif. Mais c’est sûrement un de ces endroits où on ne va que seul, j’en ai moi aussi, je comprends, promet moi juste une chose, reviens moi, toujours.

Je t’avais dit dans un texte précédent que je te raconterai le moment où j’ai compris que je ne te laisserai pas tombé, c’était dans une chambre d’hôtel, à une époque qui semble à la fois loin est proche, on dormait l’un contre l’autre après que j’avais foiré un moment cruciale, c’est ma spécialité ça. Quand je dis, on dormait, je dirai plutôt, tu dormais, moi, je t’ai écouté, je voulais ressentir ta présence près de moi, sans même savoir que ce serait l'une des dernières fois, tu dormais, mais tu bougeais, ton sommeil était troublé, tu tremblais, je me rappelle avoir pris ta main et l’espace de quelques secondes tu t’es arrêtée, comme apaisée, c’est peut-être ridicule, mais c’est là que j’ai compris, que je me suis senti utile. Ce n’était sûrement pas dû à la présence de ma main dans la tienne, mais bon, tu te rappelles certainement pas de ça, essaye de me faire confiance. Je remarque en le disant que notre relation passée était très liée au mains, j'aime ça. Tout comme pour le moment dans le chapitre V, je pense qu'il y a quelque part dans un univers de poche, un endroit où ce moment n'a jamais pris fin, des versions de nous sont toujours là-bas, la main dans la main. Ce sont ces moments que j’ai préféré avec toi, peut être parce que j’ai foiré le reste, mais je pense pas, j’ai eu l’impression de t’avoir amené une sorte de sérénité et de calme, ce n’était peut être qu’une illusion, mais j’aimerais essayer de te donner ça, je pense que tu as besoin de calme, même si ce n’est certainement pas ce que tu veux.

Nous avons jamais vraiment eu une relation normale, tous les deux, et je crois que je ne voudrais pas d’une relation normale avec toi, ce que l’on partage ici me va bien, même si j’aimerais passer plus de temps avec toi, c’est sûr. Ce que j’ai compris aussi, c’est que notre relation à toujours était secrète, et je crois c’est ce dont elle a besoin pour perdurer, les rares fois ou quelqu’un à essayer de s’immiscer, ça n’a jamais était très bon. Ça ne regarde que nous. Je n’ai quasiment jamais parlé de toi à personne, personne n'aurait jamais compris ce que tu représentes de toute façon, tu es mon jardin secret, et j’aime ça. On s’est toujours retrouvé en quelque sorte en secret, tard le soir, la nuit, où personne d’autres n’écoute, ce qui rend nos moments uniquement pour nous. Des instants volés.. Nous n’avons jamais vraiment été dans ce monde, nous sommes dans un monde à nous, enfin je l’espère, un espace-temps, comme tu le dis si bien, j’aime ce monde là, j’en ai besoin, j’ai besoin qu’il existe, j’espère que toi aussi. Personnellement j’ai perdu trop de temps, loin de toi, sérieusement.

Mais, je sais aussi qu’un jour, il y aura quelqu’un d’autre, et que je passerai au second plan voir même pire, comme par le passé, t’inquiète je le sais, essaye juste de pas prendre un connard cette fois.

Je finirais en te disant ce que je t’ai déjà dit par messages, tu es ici chez toi, tout ce que je partage peut te concerner, de manière directe ou indirecte, je n’ai pas grand-chose à te cacher, et ce que je n’ose pas te montrer n’est pas ici. Je sais que je radote, souvent, mais ce qui revient souvent est la vérité, je répète pour pas que tu oublies, c’est important. Je ne veux pas que tu te dises que tu ne me fasses pas de messages parce que ça fait trop longtemps ou quoi que ce soit d’autre, pas de ça entre nous. Tu fais un message quand tu le veux, pas quand tu crois que c’est le bon moment, ça l’est toujours.

Mais bon, je sais que si un jour tu voudras repartir, peut importe ce que je dirais ça ne changera rien, je resterai là, le temps que je te serais utile, et puis tu me jetteras comme tu l’as toujours fait, j’aimerais que ce soit différent cette fois, mais je crois que profondément je sais comment tout cela finira. J’aurais beau te dire de rester 120 fois et autant de fois que j’ai besoin de toi, ça ne changera pas grand-chose, tout a changé maintenant, et puis un puceau de 28 ans ça pèse pas lourd dans la balance. J'espère juste avoir une place importante en toi.

Il paraît qu’il faut dire aux gens que l’on tient le temps qu’on peut le faire, et bien je le fais, je tiens à toi, tellement plus que ça, j’espère que tu le sais maintenant, garde ça quelque part en toi, et je veux que quand tu te sentes seule, mais pas quand tu le choisis, quand ça te fait mal, pense à moi, je ne t’ai jamais laissé tombé, et je ne le ferais jamais, tu peux parier, si on était face à face je te montrerai ma main, un peu comme Monica le fait, elle ne tremble pas. 

Tu dis que tu es perdu dans mes mots, c’est sûrement vrai, peut-être que tu as besoin de te faire une mis à jour, je ne dis pas que c’est la toi d’avant qui est ici, je n’en suis pas sûr, ce qui est sûr c’est que c’est une version à moi, elle est pas parfaite mais je l’aime beaucoup, c’est pour ça qu’elle est rester avec moi, si l’envie te prends de te faire une mise à jour de toi même, prends cette version de toi, elle est très bien, passionnée, séduisante et tellement plus encore. Tu es vivante ici, tu l’as toujours été, tu peux rester le temps que tu souhaites. Des fois, je me dis que je n’aurai pas dû brûler ta lettre, parce que c’était un morceau de la toi d’avant, une preuve tangible, mais je me dit qu’en écrivant sur une version de toi qui me rappelle celle que tu étais avant, un peu, cela fait une preuve en soit, un point d’attache, ça l’a fait exister.

Voilà, ce chapitre est terminé, j’ai adoré l’écrire, sache le, je sais déjà de quoi je parlerai dans le prochain, je l’ai déjà commencer et j'aime la tournure qu'il prend, je vais essayer d’expliquer pourquoi j’écris ici, en fait, c’est important, et je vais sûrement te faire des excuses sur des choses du passé, ça aussi c’est important.

A la prochaine A, j’ai déjà hâte. J’aimerais que le silence entre nous te pèse, et que tu te dises, il faut que je lui fasse un message. Mais je sais aussi que ça n’arrivera pas, il n’y a que moi qui ressent ça.

Écoute ces quelques chansons, si tu en a le temps.

Mads Langer – Fact-Fiction

Benjamin Biolay – Vendredi 12 

Stéphane – Je dis pas non

The Rolling Stones - Hate To See You Go

Jack Johnson - Better Together

Dido - Don’t leave home

Juliette Armanet - Qu'importe