#verse – the DUFF //

[ninelivesastrology]

I played this at my child's baptism

[queenimmadolla]

Idk if you’ve answered this or not but what are Penny, Wayne and Maples interest/special interest? Like was Penny into the 90’s/2000’s boy bands? Was Wayne into trains or dinosaurs or something real niche like garbage trucks and was I’m assuming Maple was born in the late 90’s was she into Hannah Montana or even metal music that you and Eddie cater to until they just decided one day it wasn’t cool anymore and moved on 😅

I want to thank you. Because you just reminded (I had to consult my timeline for this verse to answer it) that Penny was born in the late 80s, so she got to endure the late 90s and y2k as a teen. She would have been the same age as Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff when they feuded omg!!!! And with a famous dad?? She can interact with y2k royalty!

ANYWAYS, to answer your question, YES! She was a big fan girl of the Backstreet Boys as a preteen! Was begging her parents to go to concerts all the time, learned the choreography, she was obsessed and, as delusional as 10-13 year olds get over boy bands, she was proud of it. And DREAM. She’d love that girl band so much. As a teen, she loves most of the bands of the 2000s like Fall Out Boy, Green Day (they reached the height of their fame that really elevated them in the 2000s—thats not up for debate), Sum41, Evanescene, Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Pussycat Dolls and she’s a fan of singers like Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, etc. She doesn’t really like the pick-mes of the 2000s. Sorry, Avril.

Wayne didn’t have any real niche interests dinosaurs or trucks. By the time he could develop niche interests, Goosebumps was a thing, so i imagine him going the mystery/horror route. And because of watching and reading Goosebumps, he develops an interest in weirdly specific things just as the main characters of the show do. To make it short—whatever he watches he makes his whole personality for a good couple of months.

And you’re right about Maple being born in the late 90s! She was 100% a delusional fan girl too, LOVED The Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana (but she loved Miley Cyrus more), fucking radio Disney, Jesse McCartney—oh my god, she was born around the same time as me so she’s going to go through so many horrible fashion and fan phases. The shrug, the skinny scarf, the weird layering of dresses over jeans. One Direction. God, Eddie has to endure a lot with her but if his babies are into something, then he encourages their enthusiasm, helps them indulge in it by buying them CDs and merch, goes to concerts with them—he’s a good fucking dad. Even if the two of you get whiplash with how often they switch up their interests. And lucky for you and Eddie, she’s a Beyoncé stan, so she exposes him to fantastic music just as he introduces her to the music he grew up liking in the 80s.

[foxes-that-run]

Paper rings

Paper Rings is about love over wealth and luxury. Paper rings are simple and unglamorous, but also can be fragile. Paper being temporary and disposable. The song mixes good and bad to say that Taylor choses an imperfect life with this person. Taylor described it as not having modern influences when it does and being punk, a word that fits this song better than reputation but Taylor used in Time. It's was hinted at on Reputation which makes me wonder if it was a Reputation vault track. It copies the sound of Hilary Duff's 2015 Breathe In Breath Out which Taylor mentioned on Tumblr:

Paper Rings was hinted at in the Me! Lyric Video with a Paper Ring with two polaroids (it mentions photo frames) and has a Spotify Story:

"I wrote "Paper Rings' with this idea of throwback sounds. We didn't want to use any sounds that were very modern on this song. This song talks about true love, and if you really find true love, you probably don't really care what the symbolism of that love is. Material things wouldn't matter to you anymore if you found someone that you just wanted to live your life with. "

In the iHeartRadio Secret Session (Audio in the video above) Taylor said:

[...]"imagining that I was a wedding band at a reception, playing the love songs that the bride and groom wanted to hear in, like, 1978 or something. It's called 'Paper Rings.' The whole song is just basically reminiscing on fun memories. [...] there's some fun, kind of, punk, like inspired by punk girl groups and the way they used to sing, shouting them in a really unapologetic way. [...]

A 1978 Wedding Band is a very specific reference. So thinking of songs from 1978... This wedding blog lists a few like Just What I Needed – The Cars, released in 1978 and one (H tweet) and was also in The Wedding Singer. Blondie is a clear reference for the Lover aesthetic and the song. Blondie released One Way or Another in 1978. (Before the 1D cover). The Ramones Blitzkrieg Bop is an earlier influence for it.

...also did she say Punk? as in the 2023 Time Magazine:

When was it written

Like all of Lover it is copyright 2019 for its release. It was Easter egged in the Call It What You Want Lyric video on 2 November 2016 and in the Reputation magazine hinting pretty strongly that it was at least partly written with Reputation.

It was recorded at Conway, LA, & Metropolis in London. London Boy was also recorded in both. Taylor didn’t record reputation at Metropolis but KOMH and a few lover songs were at Conway.

Live performances

Paper Rings was a surprise song in Minneapolis on 23 June, 2023, the other surprise song was If this was a movie. Taylor also performed it as a mash up with Stay Stay Stay on 21 July, 2024. It was not played the few Lover promo shows.

Rings

The Spotify Visual features a huge ring, pearls and beehive. When talking about the song Taylor talked about not caring about a ring if you truly loved someone, and the lyrics 'I like shiny things, but I would marry you with paper rings'. So why this visual with a huge ring and perfect life? To me this is about giving those things up, which fits the 'unapologetic' punk feel. This idea is also in the LAWYMMD video. Maybe rejecting a proposal with a shiny ring for a more youthful love.

Lyrics

The moon is high Like your friends were the night that we first met Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

In the iHeartRadio intro Taylor said the song was reminiscing on fun memories which these first verses are. These are the sections which match Breathe in Breathe out. which has lines that start with “I remember..” while Hilary was looking back on a lost love Taylor is reminiscing on a current love, it sounds both nostalgic and new.

Some fans do gymnastics to make them about a specific muse but they are very generic but I’ll add that Joe was not with friends at the Met Gala, he was with a costar that knew Taylor better.

The wine is cold Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street Cat and mouse for a month or two or three Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

This verse continues the reminiscing, I like the use of cold shoulder and street compared to the intimacy of watching someone breathe. Also this line reminds me of the Hilary Duff song title.

Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night (Oh) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life (One, two, one, two, three, four)

This verse is the most like a wedding band, and one Taylor mentioned when talking about the song that Jack does the count in. Taylor has not used ‘be alright’ very much:

22 - Everything will be alright, if you keep me next to you

Shake it off - Saying, "It's gonna be alright."

Call it what you want - They took the crown, but it's alright

The Archer - But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

Death by a Thousand Cuts - I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright

The 1 - And it's alright now

Fresh Out the Slammer - But it's gonna be alright, I did my time

I look through people's windows - Does it feel alright to not know me?

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

The refrain is where Taylor would chose a simple paper ring over a fancy ring or wedding. When talking about the song Taylor described this as the ring not mattering, but to me paper is more temporary, it’s not a wedding but a tentative commitment of sorts. Taylor also describes the relationship as non traditional with “this” an ill defined situationship.

Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want In paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams Oh, you're the one I want

The one I want implies again there is someone Taylor is choosing this person over, she’s forgoing something shiny for this relationship. Yet the theme of reminiscing implies this is not a new relationship. Darling is not used a lot.

Picture frames are also uncommon in Taylor’s work, only HYGTG, Run and this song have a framed picture to mean a relationship. The Me! Lyric video had 2 Polaroids with the paper ring, very 1989/reputation-esque, one of her holding a cat and one with friends.

How You Get The Girl: With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool When you jumped in first, I went in too I'm with you even if it makes me blue Which takes me back To the color that we painted your brother's wall

Taylor will follow this partner anywhere even when it’s not always easy or pleasant. More on the wall and icy pool below.

Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so

In this verse their relationship has some history of "exes, fights, and flaws" they’ve overcome. Similar to “one I want” this is not a simple we met and went from friends to this, they have history.

Icy outdoor pool

I have a post on the icy pool. Which is something Harry has been known for (also in Hampstead Heath Pond) long before Joe did handy exposition for this. Taylor said on 2 June 2018 in Chicago ( Harry was in the City) "2 New Years Eve's ago I found myself in the midst of a very like incredible 3am moment where you think you are invincible and you end up like jumping in a pool in the winter and you feel super untouchable in that moment" Taylor Nation cut this part out.

The house Taylor rented in Hampstead in December 2016 has a pool and she included photos in the Rep Magazine. A post on that.

Blue Walls

I have a post on this blue wall line and that it is a metaphor for being emotionally isolated. She also referred to blue painted walls in:

Everything Has Changed - And all my walls stood tall, painted blue

The Lover photoshoot hints that it is metaphorical:

If you think these rep book photos are of Taylor actually painting a wall and not a photoshoot I have some ice to sell you.

I want to drive away with you I want your complications too I want your dreary Mondays Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

In the bridge Taylor tells how she wants good and bad, a similar idea to on New Years Day about wanting someone to clean up bottles after the party, or dreary Monday’s here. Again with complications, this is not a fresh relationship between 2 single people.

Drive is a Haylor theme also and this line reminds me of Style’s “let’s get out of the town” and finally taylor calls the muse “baby boy” .. perhaps she is singing about someone who’s ‘younger than her ex’s but acts like such a man, so.

[sofasoap]

Thank you for everything.

Pairing: König x  f!Reader ( OC aka "Mini" MacTavish ) + Simon " Ghost" Riley + John " Soap " Mactavish

Summary: Time for Mini to introduce her new boyfriend to the family. Breaking Ghost's heart a little bit. and new found family for him.

Warning: M To E rated. mention of sexy time! Safe sex people! swearing, fluff? angsty in places? any geography and facts are made up a bit regarding to Scotland etc. For fictional purposes.

A/N : Character of Mini MacTavish is from @saltofmercury fic “ “The Favorite MacTavish” ” which she graciously let me borrow and write bit more expanded universe. Please go read her wonderful story to get bit of background.

 “masterlist” for more stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

Note: I have FINALLY found my beautiful König

By the amazing artist @egg-ball. This is my perfect image of König. * cry *

Also this is my drool worthy Ghost “Simon/Ghost” - Credit to : @shkretart

" What you doing here. "

" What are YOU doing here, this is my parent's house of course I am here!"

" Your mum invited me to come."

" Since when are you good friend with my Ma? "

" Since a while ago."

Soap sighed. Don't think he is going to get anymore information out from Ghost's mouth, he let him in.

" Hi Simon! welcome welcome. " Mrs MacTavish rushed up to him as he walks through the front door of their estate.

".. Hello Mrs MacTavish."

" Johnny, be a nice boy and show Simon the guest bedroom."

Rolling his eyes, " Come on. this way. " Soap reluctantly lead Ghost towards the bedroom quarter of his parent's house.

MacTavish farm has been around for few centuries, famous for quality crops and recently as one of the big investors for up and coming Speyside Whisky. Although Ghost is more of a bourbon whiskey guy, but he wouldn't say no to a good quality alcohol.

"Where is Mini."

" She's gone to the airport and picking her boyfriend up. Should be back within an hour or so."

" .. Do you know who this guy is." Ghost ask as he put down his duff bag in the corner of the room.

"No idea. But he better be decent." Soap puffed.

Soap seen you smiling like a dork few times while texting, when he ask you about it you always wave him off and tell him to mind his own business. Makes him even more suspicious that you are trying to hide something from him.

"Ma! Da! I'm home!' Soap and Simon can hear from the back of the house as you yell. Hearing another muffled male voice greeting, Soap and Ghost look at each other, and walk back towards the front door.

A very tall figure was awkwardly bending down giving Mrs MacTavish hug and turn to MacTavish senior a handshake, both Ghost and Soap froze as they suddenly recognise who the mysterious man was.

König.

Chewing your lip, you typed and deleted and typed and deleted, before you decided to press sent.

--- Hello my teddy bear, are you free in April?

Few minutes later, you her a DING as the message sent through

-- I should be free, unless we get deployed again, is there something you need, Liebling?

-- I told my Ma and Da about you.. and they would love to meet you in person, they are inviting you to spend Easter this year at the family farm up in Scotland.

An hour. No reply from him. You heart dropped. Have you pushed a bit too far?

--- ONLY if you are comfortable with it! I can decline if you are not up to it or if you are planning something with your family!

You quickly typed up.

... Still nothing.

After the Piccadilly Circus incident, you and König got even closer. He came and visited you in the hospital day after the incident. Bringing you flowers and some Kaiserschmarrn.

" Wow, König, where did you get this from?"

" I.. I made it."

"... YOU made it?" This man really surprises you, he can carve like a professional, and now he can bake like a pro? What can't this man do????

" I rang my Mama last night and ask for recipe.. I borrow the kitchen at the Emergency centre to make it..." he replied shyly.

Trying to imaging a big tall Austrian man baking in a tiny little kitchen makes you giggle. You took a bite of the pancake and moaned. It is GOOD. Probably one of the best sweet you ever tasted in your life.

"I hope it's to your taste.." König wrangle his hand nervously.

" OH GOSH You better make this everyday.. It's SO DELICIOUS."

" I .. I can make you other stuffs too."

" Do you plan to open a dessert shop after your life in military König? If you do, I will be your most loyal customer."

König look down on the floor, twiddling his thumb, said nothing.

Due to his work commitment, you two only get to see each other when he is in London. But both of you communicate as much as possible through text, and in some occasions through phone or video calls.

It's a slow courtship. But you don't mind. Good things takes time, you remind yourself.

You can really see him making a real effort to slowly slip out from his comfort zone. Bringing you little gifts each time, little carving he made himself, desserts he made, little hand crafts his Mama and his Oma made especially for you.

You also can't resist teasing your boyfriend from time to time.

“ And MAYBE you can show me later how good you are at… RAMMING into people. My big teddy bear.”

" You know, I miss my big teddy bear in winter, no one to keep me warm in bed."

Everytime you tease him with these hidden innuendos, you swear you can see the imaginary steams coming out from his ears.

He is always hesitant to hold your hand, those big callous hand. Wrap around yours, making you feel safe.

First time he initiated a hug was when you two were walking down the street, in freezing cold weather, he saw you shivering. Silently he open his trench coat, look at you asking for permission, and proceed to pull you in and wrap you up. He is like a human furnace. You inhale. Smell of his cologne mixed with gunpowder. This is home.

You realise you are slowly falling in love with this big , gentle man.

First time you saw his face, and first kiss, without the mask, was when you two * FINALLY* spend a night together. ( The Holy trinity, you dubbed it later on when you recall the event to Emma. )

Emma was away visiting her family for her long overdue holiday.

" GO ON Mini, invite him to stay over, MAKE A MOVE, push that boy into bed!" She urged you after she told you about her holiday plan. " You can make a much as noise as you want with him and I won't be here to yell at you!"

You smack your good friend on the arm, " EMMA!!!"

" What, I am telling the truth, besides, ' she pointed at you ' how long you guys been going out for? over a year. yet you still haven't kiss him properly, let alone seeing his face in full."

You know she's right, at same time you don't want to push him too much. As if by chance, König rang you the next day informing you he is coming over for the long weekend.

"Have you book your accommodation yet? If not... Um. Emma is away at her family for the week.. Um. Do you want to... stay over at my place?"

You heard him choking, coughing and someone else in the background asking him if he is OK.

" I .. I ... I..."

" Yes or no König."

"... Yes."

" Right! that's sorted. I'll see you then!"

You feel like a teenager, all giddy and nervous. For fucks sake, you are an adult! it's normal to ask your boyfriend to stay over. You convince yourself.

He showed up at your doorsteps few weeks later, and you two go on your usual routine. Out for a nice walk, go out to local bistro and have a good meal, window shopping.

Slowly you two stroll home. You two took turn taking shower. You brew some nice herbal tea and sat in front of the TV, winding down.

You lean over and put your head on his shoulder. You feel him lifting up his arm, starting to stroke your hair, gently.

you shuffle into his space bit more. He stiffens. Thinking you made him uncomfortable, you pulled away slightly. He immediately pulled you back in.

You look up at him, searching for something in his eyes. Lifting one hand up, silently seeking for permission, his eyes drop down and look back up at you, you slowly pull his black mask off.

And there he is.

You smiled, " There's my handsome teddy bear." You whispered. With tears in your eyes, you trying to take his features in. The scar across his nose, across his cheek. the little imperfections. Tracing his features with both of your hand, König close his eyes and sighed.

Feeling bold, you swung leg across, straddling him. Tilting your face up towards him, he look down with dark hooded eyes, and close the final gap. Shy and tentative at first, it soon become heated.

You moan into his mouth as grabbed your backside, pulling you closer to him. You can feel his arousal. Grinding against his lap, you heard him taking in a sharp breath, and broke the kiss.

" ... Are you sure."

You nodded your head, totally out of breath to reply.

As if a switch has been flipped, he lift you up, like you weigh nothing, you hook your other leg across his hip, he marched towards the bedroom.

Despite both of you are inexperienced ( Hell, you never went past second base with the boys you were seeing in the past thanks to Soap, your cockblocking brother!), everything seems to progress naturally. He certainly make up for it .. somewhere else. and oh BOY. It was GOOD. You know you going to be very sore the next day.

He was an excellent lover. Gentle after care. He turned back into the shy König after the deed was done. " Did I hurt you Liebling? I am sorry if I was too rough... OH der Scheiß, YOU ARE BLEEDING!" He quickly jumped off the bed. You pull his arm to stop him.

" Hey love, calm down. It's normal.... after um.. the.. first time.."

" Still... I hurt you.. " He shook his head. He left the room, and came back few minutes later with warm towel, gently wipe you down.

Afterwards, he pull you into his chest, him being the big spoon, the warmth enveloped you as he whispered into your ears.

"Ich liebe dich"

Back to the present. You were still waiting for his reply two days later, when you begin to think its a very bad idea. One big step forward, rolling back down to the bottom of the hill, you think to yourself.

You finally got a reply after a week. He apologising but didn't give a reason for his late reply, and ask you for the details. You let out a big sigh and proceed to give him the dates and travel details.

Quiet chit chat as everyone sit around the dining table. Your Ma and Pa politely asking him question about his family and how he comes to know Ghost and Soap.

Ghost and Soap just stares at König as he answer the questions quitely, with you smiling at him.

" What is your intention with my sister König." Soap asked all of sudden.

You shot Johnny a look, Jesus fucken hell, does he have to make the atmosphere so awkward?

König gave your hand slight squeeze underneath the table.

" I will not hurt her. I love her very much. In fact, I am here today to ask for permission for marriage in the future."

Your look at your boyfriend with disbelieve, Is this the socially anxious König that you know? And what is this about marriage? Ah?

Soap was about to stand but Ghost press him down by the shoulder, shaking his head.

Everything was slightly blur after that. You vaguely remember your Ma and Pa gave both you and König a hug, welcome him into the family, even Johnny and Simon shook his hand , begrudgingly.

You suddenly thought, why is Simon here anyway?????

" I am sorry Liebling.. I should have ask you first.. " König apologised profusely after everyone retired for the night. You smiled at him and pat his chest, comfort him,

" It's ok.. took me out by surprise... " jabbing him a little, " I expect you to make up for it later." You chuckled. He grabbed your hand and nodded.

3am, you toss and turned, with König lightly snoring away beside you. You decided to go into kitchen to get a glass of water.

You jumped slightly when you saw a figure standing by the window.

" SHIT Simon... you really gave me a fright."

" sorry. "

Walking over to the fridge you pour yourself a glass of cold water, looking at Simon, he shook his head as you silently ask him if he want some water too.

Taping on the glass, you decided to ask.

" Why are you here anyway Simon? Not that we don't want you here.. you are welcome any time.. "

" Your Mum invited me.'

" Since when are you good friend with my Ma... "

" Since a while ago."

You rolled your eyes. You took another sip of water. Simon turned towards you, looking at you. You can see there's sadness in his eyes.

Putting the glass down. You walk over to him, pull him into a tight hug. Burying your head in his chest, you mumbled.

" I am sorry Simon.'

Ghost's heart ached You knew. That little bit of feeling that he is trying to hide away deep down, and it shattered when he saw you looking at König lovingly during dinner. The way you smiled at him, the way he take care of you. He knows he had no chance. You only love him as a big brother.

".. You are like a brother to me and Johnny.This will always be your home. I want us to stay as friend. I am so sorry."

He wrap his arm around you. Tight. Gave you a light kiss on the top of your head.

"You have nothing to apologise for." He murmured.

" I know... but.. "

" It's ok. I'll get over it." he sighed.

" Johnny can take you out and introduce you to some ladies?" You suggested timidly.

" I seriously wouldn't trust him."

You laughed.

Giving you a pat on the head, he left your embrace.

" I am happy for you Mini... I truly am."

" OH! I know this lady doctor at work.. She use to be in the military .. she's from New Zealand... "

" No sis... Don't trust YOU either to set me up with anyone." Ghost huffed.

You giggled as he called you sis. It will take time. but that's a start.

"My Ma and Pa really loves you as an adopted son you know.. maybe they will introduce my cousins to you."

" Mini MacTavish. Please no."

Poor Ghost got his heart broken. it's ok. he will have someone in near future that suits him. I just want to give him a family he deserves.

[raynewton]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖚𝖊𝖑 𝖔𝖋 𝖍𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖗 𝖆 𝖑𝖆 𝕯𝖔𝖜𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊

Sir Gilman: Sir, forgive this knight for not addressing you more respectfully, but your means of revenge are unacceptable!

Oralech: So what am I supposed to do?

Sir Gilman: You must challenge Master Sandalwood to a duel of honor! Choice of weapon--

Oralech: Great duel. The physician and the historian trying to stab each other! That rotten log doesn't even know which side to hold the sword on!

Sir Gilman: In that case, we must find some brave knights to fight on your behalf!

Oralech: It's all a bunch of hogwash!

Gareph: I like the idea! Let off steam, then do some chit-chat.

Sir Gilman: You describe the sacred ritual of a duel of honor too vulgarly, but in essence--

Oralech: Gareph, you too?!

Gareph: I'm done with freezing in the swamps! Gonna duff their nomad up and then finally talk!

Sir Gilman: Could this knight interpret your statement as a challenge?

Oralech: No! I did not consent to-- Stop, you undercooked noodle! Stop!

*a few hours later*

Sir Gilman: In the name of establishing justice, we are gathered on a star-blessed... khee... swamp to end years of strife through a glorious duel! Today, the former Master of the Nightwings Order, Volfred Sandalwood...

Sandalwood: I still find this idea highly questionable.

Sir Gilman: ...are fighting with Oralech, acting master of the True Nightwings Order!

Oralech: Idiotic.

Sir Gilman: Their seconds are Hedwyn the Deserter and Gareph the Shipwright. Exchange bows.

Hedwyn: *sharply nods*.

Gareph: *makes a mocking curtsy*

Sir Gilman: And the judges: this knight, who solemnly promises to act only according to the law, and--

Iq'sa: The magnificent and enchanting Lady Iq'sa!

Oralech: *facepalm*.

Sir Gilman: According to the fifty-third verse on chivalry of the Ores Codex, seconds are equal to knights of honor and shall fight among themselves if both duelists are from peaceful professions or have taken vows of nonviolence.

Hedwyn: So how does that apply to a military physician who spit on his vows from the heights of Alodiel?

Oralech: Oh, so you'd rather have your kidneys beat out by me personally?

Sir Gilman: As practice has shown, we have no evidence of a breach of physician's oaths.

Gareph: Are we just gonna keep talking?

Sir Gilman: Must choose the weapons. In a duel of honor, you may use swords, glaives, axes.

Gareph: Can we make allowances for the poor financial situation of the participants and fight with mallets?

Sir Gilman: In special cases it is allowed to fight hand-to-hand.

Hedwyn: Good, now I'm going to smack that desecrator of the Rites in the face!

Gareph: We're desecrators? It's shameful to look at your rabble from the stars, that's why the Scribes lost their nerves!

Hedwyn: You have defrauded the Rite system!

Gareph: And you rammed the blackwagons! You broke over the Tempers' trunk, you knocked down the Dissidents' zodiac, the Fates' blackwagon almost collapsed in mid-air!

Hedwyn: You got the drive-imps to pull the Pyrehearts' blackwagon aground!

Gareph: You put a spell on Lendel just because!

Hedwyn: And your demon got into the blackwagon and scared the Reader half to death!

Gareph: The Reader who gave the order to run him over with the blackwagon!

Hedwyn: So we're the villains and you're the nice and fluffy ones?

Gareph: We never thought we were good. And you sons of bitches are yelling on every corner what kind of good liberators you are! You accuse others of all deadly sins to make yourselves look better and cleaner against them!

Hedwyn: Come here, and I'll show you who is the son of a cur!

Sandalwood: My boy, calm down--

Gareph: I'd love to! Now I'll paint your pretty face in such a way that the Reader will never recognize it!

Oralech: Hey, you two! We agreed that you would fight for me and Sandalwood, not--

Gareph: To hell with your stupid squabbles!

*Hedwyn and Gareph throwing fists at each other*

Sandalwood: It's true what they say, like priest like people.

Oralech: Are you referring to yourself?

Sandalwood: Just thinking out loud. The wise one will understand.

Oralech: Your wisdom is beyond us, you shriveled splinter! Every word of Gareph should be written down and pasted under your agents' leaflets! A bunch of hypocrites!

Sandalwood: You're the one who provoked it.

Oralech: Me?! You think I encouraged Erisa to push me over the waterfall?

*they both lash out menacingly at each other*

Iq'sa: Hey, sir-wyrm, if both duelists and seconds are fighting, what are judges supposed to do?

Sir Gilman (confused): This knight knows of no precedent!

Iq'sa: Well, then the decision is obvious. For the True Nightwi-i-ings!!!

[scotianostra]

On November 16th 1700 James Macpherson, the famous fiddling freebooter, was hanged at Banff.

The outlaw’s father was a laird and his mother a tinker. How he became a criminal is as unclear as some of his activities, but his career appears to have culminated in “a reign of terror” on the Banff, Elgin and Forres markets. He seems to have enjoyed the Laird of Grant’s protection, but was captured in Keith when, according to his own account, a woman threw a blanket over him and he was disarmed before he could free himself.

He was tried in Banff where he was especially disliked. The jury was packed with the dependants of Lord Duff, who had previously organised a group to capture MacPherson, but as on many other occasions, he escaped.

MacPherson was found guilty, but a reprieve was said to be on its way to Banff at the time of the execution. Duff turned the clock 15 minutes forward and MacPherson was hung before the pardon arrived. There is a traditional account that says the clock was kept 15 minutes fast for years and Macduff has its west-facing town clock covered so the people of Banff can't see the right time.

The story goes that in the week before his hanging, Macpherson reportedly composed an air variously described as “Macpherson’s Lament” or ���Rant” or “Farewell” which he then performed on the gallows.

In the most picturuesque version, he played his own fiddle in this exit performance, then dramatically smashed the instrument.

By all accounts MacPherson was a big muckle man, this is justified by his sword, which is preserved in Duff House, at Banff as seen in the second pic, and you have to question the story a wee bit.

The first pic is a depiction of MacPherson playing before they hung him, now would they have given a Goliath the free use of his hands at such a desperate moment?

Well there are, as always different versions of the song, I will post my favourite afterwards, which was written by oor Bard Rabbie Burns, this is an earlier version:

Fareweel, ye dungeons dark and strang, fareweel, fareweel tae ye,

MacPherson's time will no be lang on yonder gallows tree

Chorus

Sae rantinly and sae wantonly, sae dauntinly gaed he

For he played a tune and he danced aroon, below the gallows tree

It was by a woman's treacherous hand that I was condemned tae dee

Above a ledge at a window she sat and a blanket she threw ower me

There's some come here tae see me hang, and some come tae buy my fiddle

But before that I would part wi her I'd brak her through the middle

And he took the fiddle intae baith o his hands and he brak it ower a stane

Sayin, nay other hand shall play on thee when I am dead and gane

The reprieve was comin ower the Brig o Banff tae set MacPherson free,

But they pit the clock a quarter afore, and they hanged him frae the tree.

Additional verses

The Laird o Grant, that Hieland saunt, that first laid hands on me,

He pleads the cause o Peter Broon, tae let MacPherson dee

Untie these bands frae aff my hands and gie tae me my sword,

And there's no a man in all Scotland but I'll brave him at a word.

[deadnburied13]

"Sweet Child o' Mine" is a song by Guns N' Roses. It appeared on their debut album Appetite for Destruction. The song was released in June 1988 as the album's third single, and topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart, becoming the band's only number 1 US single. Billboard ranked it the number 5 song of 1988.

The lyrics came from a poem Axl Rose was working on. He wrote the song about his girlfriend, Erin Everly. Slash came up with the riff when he was playing around on his guitar. He thought it was silly and wanted nothing to do with it, but Axl loved it and had him keep playing it. Izzy Stradlin added some chords, and the song came together. According to Duff McKagan's 2012 autobiography, Slash always considered it the worst Guns N' Roses song.

A third verse Axl wrote was edited out because the record company thought it made the song too long.

(Slash, Rose, Stradlin, Recorded 1987, Released June 1988 (US), May 29, 1989 (UK), Length 5:55 (album version)

#GnFnR

[fashionbooksmilano]

Edith Sitwell

A Unicorn Amongs Lions

Victoria Glendinning

Weidenfeld & Nicholson, London 1981, 393 pages, 20 illustrated pages, 13 x 20 cm, ISBN  0297778013

euro 30,00

email if you want to buy booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

Freed from her unhappy homelife, Edith Sitwell set up home in a shabby London flat: she became one of the best-known 1920s pioneering poets. Victoria Glendinning presents a biography of a woman known for her eccentricity and gothic appearance.

Her looks attracted Cecil Beaton and the principal painters of the day. Among her friends were Aldous Huxley, T.S. Eliot, and Gertrude Stein. She rebuffed Wyndham Lewis and ardently loved the temperamental Russian painter, Pavel Tchelitchew. The 1930s she spent in penury, writing fiction, biography and verse. Only when Yeats hailed her as 'a major poet' did her work reach a wider audience, whereupon Edith Sitwell set off to conquer New York and Hollywood.

Winner of the Duff Cooper Prize and James Tait Black Memorial Prize for Biography, this is the definitive portrait of a spontaneous, gallant, yet tragically insecure woman.

'The excellence of Mrs Glendinning's book is that it remains wise and balanced while never sacrificing critical edge... It's hard to imagine a life of Edith Sitwell that could surpass it.' John Carey, "Sunday Times"

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16/02/23

[creatorping]

So it’s been established that magic exists in the Kim Possible-verse? I mean it’s not exactly public knowledge but it’s there. I imagine there are a couple of secret magic societies and some magic themed heroes. Kim and Ron would learn there are whole cities over and underneath with Shego being very familiar with at least half.

To the audience, yes? To the normal people in the KP world, not really. I think we only know about the monkey powers and shego’s magic rainbow meteor power, so of course we would consider magic being a thing in this world.

Only Kim and the other main characters know and acknowledge these magic. Ordinary people like the police or general citizens wouldn’t believe in supernatural concepts such as in the time travel ep’s, when Drakken, Monkey Fist and Duff are arrested.

(Idk what they think about shego, maybe they just overlook it cause she’s hot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

I don’t understand how the go team would g o about it. It seems like their reputation is.. very isolated? Like Kim never heard of these heroes before????? she travels the whole world there’s no way- even Wade doesn’t know? So if Kim doesn’t know, then only that city knows of the go team and just doesn’t care about super heroes I guess.

This is why magic is a very weird and confusing concept in the KP universe; because it’s not explained well or integrated with the society, it’s just there for plot so the audience can enjoy it.

[purifycantyouhelpme]

Before He Cheats | Duff Mckagan x Reader | Chapter 2

A03Link<3

Word count: 1,440

Duff's P.O.V

Today was a pretty fun day. I kinda wish it lasted longer. I walked in my house and I turned on the light. I shut the door and locked it.

My house was a mess. There was clothes on the couch and dirty plates on the dining room table. Since everyone is busy, I might as well play the bass. My bass guitar was on the couch. I got it off the couch.

I walked over to the amplifier which is next to the dining room table. I pulled out one of my dining room chairs and sit on it. I was playing on Another One Bites The Dust. It was going alright until I was playing the verse. It sounded really off and wonky. Why does it sound so bad? I stopped playing the bass guitar to figure what the problem was. "Oh wait, one of my bass strings is broken." I said to myself. Three of them are actually broken. Dammit. "Now I gotta walk all the way to the Guitar shop." I groaned. I didn't feel like walking there but I had to.

Skylar's P.O.V.

Going to the Guitar shop can be pretty fun sometimes, especially since Izzy works here. There weren't that many people here. I thought going here early means that more people would be here. Guess it's a slow day today. I was here pretty early because Duff embarrassed me earlier from the whole Tunnel of Love thing and I needed a break from that. I was looking at the bass guitars. All of the designs look so pretty. I've been wanting to learn how to play the bass guitar for a couple of months now.

"Hi, Izzy." I heard Duff's voice. Duff is here? I turned around and I saw Duff talking to Izzy.

"Duff, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be watching TV or something?" I asked Duff. I walked closer to Duff. He set his bass guitar on the countertop. It looked pretty messed up. "I came here because my bass needs to get fixed. Three of the strings are broken." He explained it to me. "I kinda forgot that you play the bass. You barely talk about it." I said.

"I know, Skylar." He rolled his eyes at me and he crossed his arms. He wasn't being serious, I know that Duff was being sarcastic. I put my hands behind my back, I was a bit nervous, especially from earlier. Duff was tapping his foot on the ground. "You know what? Let's go for a walk." I said to Duff. Duff looked pretty confused when I said that. "By the time we come back, your bass guitar will be fixed." I asked him as I turned my head a little to the right. He smiled at me. "Yeah, let's do what you said." He said, I love hanging out with him. "When you guys go out, pick up the giving out guitar lessons sign. People keep on knocking it over." Izzy told us. Okay, Izzy.

(Y/N)'s P.O.V

I was chilling in my bed, watching a movie called Lost In Translation. It's pretty funny and sad so far. Someone opened the door, it was Steven. "Sorry, I keep on forgetting to knock." Steven apologized. He laughed a little. "Hey Steven." I smiled a bit at him. I was happy that he was here. I haven't seen him for a long time. "What are you watching?" He asked me.

"Lost In Translation." I replied. He sat on the floor, looking at the TV. "I haven't talk to you guys in a while. I was busy dealing with some personal stuff. I hope things can go back to normal." Steven explained to me.

"I was walking around the neighborhood and I saw Slash hanging out with--"

"Claire. I know. They're friends, Steven. They're just hanging out." I told him. "Oh, okay." Steven looked pretty confused.

"Are you about to leave?" I asked him. "Yes, I'm going to leave." He got off the floor and walked to the door. "Did you want me to stay here or something?" Steven asked me. I was embarrassed when he asked me that. "Yes. I am feeling a little lonely." I said softly.

Duff's P.O.V

Walking outside with Skylar while my bass guitar was getting fixed felt pretty nice. I hope she doesn't remember that Tunnel of Love incident from earlier because that was embarrassing. As we were walking, we saw Slash and a girl at the duck park. I dec

Skylar followed me. The girl wasn't (Y/N). I raised my hand up and said, "Hey Slash, what's up?" One of the ducks was quacking in the background. Both Slash and the girl turned around to face me. "Who is that?"

The girl had long wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. She had diamond earrings studs on.

She was wearing a white jacket with some black jeans and red converse shoes. "I'm Claire. Nice to meet you." Claire introduced herself by shaking my hand.

"Hey Claire." I said. "She's my friend. We have been friends for a couple of months now." Slash explained to me. Then how come he never talks about her? "Hi there, what's your name?" Claire asked Skylar who wasn't in a good mood. Skylar didn't respond, she just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. I don't know why she did that. She seems nice. "You look really nice, Duff." Claire smiled. "Thanks Claire." I put my hand on my neck and smiled. I looked at Slash and I noticed that he had his work clothes on and they were pretty dirty. "Why are you in your work clothes?" I asked him. "I just like wearing them, Duff." Slash replied. I don't believe Slash. Who likes wearing work clothes? I don't like wearing my work clothes, they're uncomfortable. "Yeah right. No one likes wearing work clothes." Skylar agreed with me

but she said it in a rude way. Slash was getting mad at her. "Duff, can we go somewhere else? They're wasting my time." Skylar was getting impatient. She was tapping her foot.

"Skylar!" I yelled at her. She scoffed and started to walk back to the Guitar Shop. Why is she being so rude? Both Slash and Claire looked pretty mad. "I'm so sorry about that, Slash and Claire. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I walked away from them and I tried to catch up to Skylar.

Slash P.O.V.

It was 5:15 PM. The sun was about to set. I was at home. Thank God, that date with Claire ended. Why did so many people see me and Claire hanging out together? I slowly walked to the bedroom. My feet were killing me from walking all day. They hurt so bad. I opened the door, I held onto the doorknob and door. "Babe, I need some help." I raised my voice so that she could hear me.

She got off from her bed and helped me. She hold no I sat on the bed. "Thank you." I thanked her. I really meant it. I took off my work clothes and sunglasses and set them on the floor. I was in my tank top and basketball shorts. What is (Y/N) watching?

"How was work, honey?" She just had to ask. "It was exhausting as always." I lied to her.

"Steven hung out with me today. He left like 30 minutes ago." She told me. I kinda forgot about Steven. I haven't heard from him in a long time. He's always busy.

"What's with you and Duff?" I asked her. She turned her head and she was shocked.

"I'm just curious. It looks like you guys are getting a little close." I said in a serious tone.

"We're just friends, babe. N-Nothing more." She stuttered a bit. I don't believe her. I know that Duff likes her, it's so obvious. Duff always tries to hide it. "Anyways, do you want to watch a movie with me and cuddle?I know that your feet hurt--" God, she is so annoying sometimes. She won't stop talking. "No, I'm actually feeling pretty tired." I said. "Oh, okay." She said sadly as she looked back at the TV. She looked really upset that I didn't hang out with her today. "It's okay, honey. I'll spend time with you tomorrow, I promise." I leaned in and I kissed her on her forehead. She looked a little happy. "Good night." I pulled the covers on me and adjusted the pillows to my liking.

[secrettyrant]

closed starter, ancient lands heidrun & the visser wolves @waterfallswords

The storm passed, allowing the three White River wolves to leave the confines of the small cabin. It was an emotional moment for Heidrun, after months spent safely there writing his musical wonders. He didn't wish to leave at all, but Lilja and Tofa marched so far ahead that they almost left without him!

It's been days since and the three have remained together, although Heidrun wonders why the Visser wolves are intent on walking so quickly. He barely has time to take in the beautiful surroundings of these ancient lands of their ancestors. But, that doesn't stop him serenading the journey, putting his mental prowess to the test as he improvises with his lyre. An upbeat and joyful tempo, the pace of their strides used as the rhythm. "With sturdy boots and packs so light, we march through day and camp at night. The stars above, they guide our way and we sing and laugh, come what may." he bellows out loudly, Heidrun having to think quick on his feet for the next verse. "...now here's a tree, and there's some land, another tree so tall and grand, look at the branches...and more trees. We'll climb them high to see...what we see...another a tree!" he can hear the duff notes, and the way the words are not quite as creative as he wishes them to be and Heidrun shakes off the tune. "Hmm, no. No no, I will get it, I will get it. Let me roast, as the outsiders say." he chuckles with a slight boastful note for his knowledge of their- "They call it sl-ayng. I know a lot of it." he sighs out, retrying the tune again but then he stops. "Where are we going, again? Perhaps I can write the song to be about where we are going instead of what we are passing? Which is just trees."

[queeriboh]

For the ask game, Anzu.

first verse is her chewing Kaiba out in Duelist Kingdom. but also it makes me think of her upbeat personality, her advice to Atem to follow his heart, and her commitment to doing something crazy and chasing her dreams

[fabseg-creator]

Tinky Winkynos VS Everyone (Cheat codes for opponents)

This is a description about Tinkynos' opponents. It talks about cheat code they can have against the Mad Teletubby.

Teletubbies: Sun Baby 🌞

The Incredibles: Jack-Jack 😈

Harry Potter: Avada Kedavra ⚡

Super Mario Bros: The Star 🌟

Star Wars: The Force

Spider-Verse: Miguel O'Hara, Peni Parker, Spider-Ham, Bully Macguire (The entire Spider Team) 🕷🕸

Thanos: The Infinity Gauntlet

X-Men: Wolverine, Deadpool

Deadpool: 4th wall breaking

The Avengers: Thor, Hulk, Captain Marvel, Ant-Man

Guardians of the Galaxy: Star-Lord's playlist 🎧

Joker: Laugh 😁

Darkseid: Anti-Life Equation

Batman Family: I AM BATMAN !

Justice League: Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Flash, Aquaman (the whole Team)

Teen Titans: 🎵Night begins to Shine - B.E.R.🎵 (from Cyborg), Sticky Joe

Power Rangers: Mega-Zord

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Pizzas 🍕

Danny Phantom: ??? 👻

Doctor Who: The Time ⏳

Looney Tunes: That's all folks !

Kung Fu Panda: Po's secret technique 👌

The Owl House: The Collector 🌛

Terminator: Hasta la vista, Baby !

Naruto: Naruto and Sasuke

Dragon Ball: Zen-Oh, Dragon Balls' wishes 🐉

Gravity Falls: Stan Pines, Soos (?)

Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris' facts 💪

My Little Pony: ??? 🌈

Barbie: Pink Attitude

Oppenheimer: Nuclear Bomb ☢

The Simpsons: Duff Beer, Itchy & Scratchy, Donuts 🍩

Frozen: 🎵Let It Go🎵

Fast and Furious: ??? 🚘

Lila Rossi/Cerise/Iris/Chrysalis: Lying, Tricks 🦋😈

Ladybug and Cat Noir: Lovesquare 🐞❤🐱

Miraculous French Team: Argos (Red Moon 🔴), Bunnyx, Cerise

The summary here:

[foxes-that-run]

Labyrinth

Labyrinth tells of pain of a past relationship, combined with the realisation of falling back in love with them. Similar to bejewelled, I think there is an element of looking at a current relationship ending through the lens of a past one. It references a 1D song Harry wrote, Half the world away, which was leaked August 2020, 5 months before Midnights was started. HTWA also refers to the tension over Harry saying 'I love you' in Say don't go on 1989TV. It was played at the 9 November Eras show with The Very First Night.

Labyrinth starring David Bowie

The title makes me think of David Bowie's 80's film. The green vinyl also had similar image to background to the cover art. Bowie is a key influence for Harry. In Labyrinth, Bowie is a Goblin King, Jareth, who gives Sarah 13 hours to solve his labyrinth in a misguided attempt win her love. Sarah and Jareth are temperamental and wistfully invested in dreams... not unlike certain popstars.

As well as the Bowie reference this is related to the theme of being trapped or unable to get over this love.

Lyrics

It only hurts this much right now Was what I was thinking the whole time Breathe in, breathe through Breathe deep, breathe out I'll be getting over you my whole life You know how scared I am of elevators Never trust it if it rises fast It can't last

The first verse is reflecting on the emotional turmoil during the relationship (1989) and is rich in references:

Half the World Away "deep in, I'm scared I'll stop breathing"

OOTW "Are we in the clear yet? / In the clear yet, good / Are we out of the woods yet?" When discussing OOTW Taylor said she constantly felt like she needed to overcome the next step.

Suburban Legends "It's ruined my life"

Gorgeous "you've ruined by life by not being mine"

I Wish You Would: "I’ll never forget you as long as I live"

Taylor also referred to this lyric in her NYU speech (27 mins) 4 months before it's release "Hard things will happen to us. We will recover, we will learn from it. We will grow more resilient because of it. And as long as we are fortunate enough to be breathing we will breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out. And I am a doctor now, so I know how breathing works."

Also Getaway Car includes a line from Hilary Duff's Breathe in. Breath Out. (X marks the spot where we fell apart) Taylor also 'referenced' this song musically for Paper Rings.

Harry also sings Breathe me in, Breathe me out in Watermelon Sugar.

Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around

The chorus tells of realising that a love she thought was gone has come back. It references a leaked One Direction song that

Say don't go has a similar 'oh no' to this 'uh oh' meaning realisation, there it is that is is ending, here it is that it has come back.

On One Direction's Half the world away Harry wrote “I want you around, 'round, 'round / Are we going down, down, down?”

It only feels this raw right now Lost in the labyrinth of my mind Break up, break free, break through, break down You would break your back to make me break a smile You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that

The bounce back line is to me where we can see the similarities drawn between a past relationship (Harry) and most recent (Joe). The announcement Harry and Taylor split (for the boat time) was in real time. With paparazzi photos of them both over the next days. She learnt from that and stopped sharing at all when she dated Harry again and with CH and Joe the announcement came months after.

As in many songs, Taylor's mind is a labyrinth and she can't get past this love. She tells herself if only feels so raw, but the chorus speaks to the 'built to fall apart and get back together' nature. The pain is her anxiety as described in Gold Rush, Slut! and Say Don't Go, and focus in I know places.

Harry has sung about Taylors smile and sacrifice to have her:

Someday (sung by Michael Buble) "I love seeing you happy / I miss seeing you smile" and "For her I bend, for you I break / And if I can't be yours now / I'll wait here on this ground / 'Til you come, 'til you take me away / Maybe someday"

Half the World Away: "Now I walk to you 'til my feet hurt / So tell me that's not good enough"

If I could Fly: "I think I might / Give up everything, just ask me to"

Half the World Away also has a similar structure, both repeat the chorus about a plane/relationship going down many times at the end.

[marysittingathisfeet]

Discrepency?!!! Say It Isn't So. It Isn't So

1 Chronicles 20:1-3 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, Joab led out the armed forces. He laid waste the land of the Ammonites and went to Rabbah and besieged it, but David remained in Jerusalem. Joab attacked Rabbah and left it in ruins. 2 David took the crown from the head of their king]—its weight was found to be a talent of gold, and it was set with precious stones—and it was placed on David’s head. Say what?!! How can David be in Jerusalem and then take the crown of the King?

FYI a A talent of gold was a unit of measurement for precious metals used in ancient times and could weigh between 20-75 pounds. To the Babylonians this was about 66 pounds. The Egyptians was about 60 pounds. Imagine putting that on your head. Ouch!! But I digress.

Let's look at a similar verse in 2 Samuel 11-In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.- So this verse confirms that David did indeed stay in Jerusalem and as we all know this is when he sinned with Bathsheba and murdered one of his mighty men Uriah. Nathan the prophet chastises David, Bathsheba gives birth, and the baby dies. Then David gets Bathsheba pregnant again and she gives birth to Solomon. Quite an expanse of time. At least a year. David has been sitting on his couch taking it easy for a year while Joab and his army are fighting. It is just that 1 Chronicles doesn't give us much detail. Kind of like the news today- only telling the parts about the governmental leaders they want you to know. Anyway I digress again.

2 Samuel 12:26 then adds -MEANWHILE Joab fought against Rabbah of the Ammonites and captured the royal citadel. Joab then sent messengers to David, saying, “I have fought against Rabbah and taken its water supply. Now muster the rest of the troops and besiege the city and capture it. Otherwise I will take the city, and it will be named after me.” (kind of sense Joab's frustration with David at this point. Basically he is saying - "Hey man get off your duff and get down here and fight or I am going to take all they glory. I'm tired of doing all the work while you get all the credit."

2 Samuel 12:29 So David mustered the entire army and went to Rabbah, and attacked and captured it. David took the crown from their king’s head, and it was placed on his own head. It weighed a talent of gold, and it was set with precious stones. 

So there now the 2 stories are back on track. No discrepancy. Just missing details.

[scotianostra]

September 29th 1902 saw the death of William "Topaz" McGonagall.

McGonagall has earned the title of "World's Worst Poet" his classic The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay. is much quoted. William was convinced that he was a poetic genius and tried to seek success in both London and, in 1887, New York. He was unable to find work and eventually had to ask a friend to send him the return fare.

The comic genius Spike Milligan was a massive fan of oor William and even co-wrote a film biopic of the great man, this verse is often quoted as a McGonagall verse but is in fact only inspired by him and was written by Milligan, nevertheless it is a great tribute to what McGonagall was all about.

A chicken is a noble beast,

The cow is much forlorner;

Standing in the pouring rain,

With a leg at every corner.

Back to the bold William himself, who was a weaver until one fateful day an epiphany came upon him, this is how he himself described it...

"The most startling incident in my life was the time I discovered myself to be a poet, which was in the year 1877"

And so it began.

He was not only a poet but he was an actor too, playing Macbeth on the boards one night he was convinced that the actor playing Mac Duff was trying to upstage him so at the end of the play when it came to his death scene he simply refused to die. He continued with the sword-fight for far longer than Shakespeare had intended but with the audience cheering him on. You just have to love a man of this determination!!

McGonagall's poems drew a lot of attention, people came from miles around to listen and laugh at the man, one performance at a Circus in Dundee had to be stopped when it got out of hand, seemingly the throwing of eggs and rotten vegetables was common place at his recitals and at this circus the authorities had to step in, ending up with him being banned from performing in Dundee. McGonagall was not happy and of course the best way to show his dissatisfaction was in his poetry

"Fellow citizens of Bonnie Dundee,

Are ye aware how the magistrates have treated me,

Nay, do not stare or make a fuss,

When I tell you they have boycotted me from appearing in Royal Circus,

Which in my opinion is a great shame,

And a dishonour to the city's name."

Now I know how the Mel Gibson film Braveheart has grown much scorn from us Scots due to it's Hollywood treatment, but let it not be said that William McGonagall got it wrong with his version of the Guardian of Scotland's life, which includes the little known fact that Sir William first fought the English because the wanted to steal his trout and that Sir William went to Dundee High School? You heard it here first!!! Read on for the true story of William Wallace by the genius William "Topaz" McGonagall.

A Summary History of Sir William Wallace

Sir William Wallace of Ellerslie,

I’m told he went to the High School in Dundee,

For to learn to read and write,

And after that he learned to fight,

While at the High School in Dundee,

The Provost’s son with him disagree,

Because Wallace did wear a dirk,

He despised him like an ignorant stirk,

Which with indignation he keenly felt,

And told him it would become him better in his belt.

Then Wallace’s blood began to boil,

Just like the serpent in its coil,

Before it leaps upon its prey;

And unto him he thus did say:

‘Proud saucy cur, come cease your prate,

for no longer shall i wait,

For to hear you insult me,

At the High School in Dundee;

For such insolence makes my heart to smart,

And I’ll plunge my dagger in you heart,’

Then his heart’s blood did quickly flow,

And poor Wallace did not know where to go;

And he stood by him until dead.

Then far from him he quickly fled,

Lamenting greatly the deed he had done,

the murdering of the Provost’s son.

The scene shifts to where he was fishing on day,

Where three English soldiers met him by the way,

And they asked him fo give them some fish,

And from them they would make a delicious dish,

then Wallace gave them share of his fish,

For to satisfy their wish;

But they seemed dissatisfied with the share they got,

So they were resolved to have all the lot.

Then Wallace he thought it was time to look out,

When they were resolved to have all his trout;

So he swung his fishing-rod with great force round his head,

And struck on of them a blow that killed him dead;

So he instantly seized the fallen man’s sword,

And the other two fled without uttering a word.

Sir William Wallace of Ellerslie,

You were a warrior of great renown,

And might have worn Scotland’s crown;

Had it not been for Monteith, the base traitor knave,

That brought you to a premature grave;

Yes! you were sold for English gold,

And brought like a sheep from the fold,

To die upon a shameful scaffold high,

Amidst the derisive shouts of your enemies standing by.

But you met your doom like a warrior bold,

Bidding defiance to them that had you sold,

And bared your neck for the headsman’s stroke;

And cried, ‘Marion, dear, my heart is broke;

My lovely dear I come to thee,

Oh! I am longing thee to see!’

But the headsman was as stolid as the rock,

And the axe fell heavily on the block,

And the scaffold did shake with the terrible shock,

As the body of noble Wallace fell,

Who had fought for Scotland so well.

You can see a plaque in Greyfriars Kirkyard, Edinburgh in honour of McGonagal, he was buried in an unmarked grave his exact resting place is unknown, but is in the area through the Flodden Wall to the west of the Kirk, if ever in the gravyard go have a wee look.