#verse [ ENOUGH AFFECTION ]
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ascheming-archive · 1 year ago
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"Stop looking at me like that."
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theothervonkarmagirl · 1 month ago
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"I don't care what blasted month it is, I am not watching Arachnophobia! I lose one night of sleep and I look and think like a bog hag, can you imagine if I couldn't sleep for a week!?"
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ascheming · 1 year ago
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❝ i am alive, and drunk on sunlight. ❞ | @dadsquared
It's on his way from the Malto homestead that he finds Wheeljack; at first, he is tempted to simply leave the engineer there to his fate. But, he knows how much Twitch likes her 'Dad Two', whatever that means, so he sighs and alights gently on the ground beside the white mech.
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"Is that so?"
He peers down at Wheeljack's form, then gives a light kick to a white-plated leg -- not enough to hurt, but enough to test just how unstable the other is. No move is made to help in the slightest.
"Have you considered reaching out to another one of Prime's lackeys for assistance?"
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tasakesi · 7 months ago
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calling it “global warming” instead of climate change really screwed up all and any conversation we could have about this topic bc you'll have people being like “ummm global warming where?? it's snowing in estonia late april??” yeah climate is having more extreme changes like sudden temperature fluctuations. like goddd
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iiguess · 1 year ago
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It was platonic and he didn't mean it. It was platonic and he didn't mean it. It was platonic and he didn't mean i—-
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creamecream · 2 years ago
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“I-I got a little paycheck,
You got big plans, and you gotta move,
And I don’t feel nothing at all,
And you can’t feel nothing small,
Honey, I love you, that’s all she wrote,
O-Ophelia,
You’ve been on my mind, girl, like a drug,
O-Ophelia,
Heaven help the fool who falls in love,
O-Ophelia,
You’ve been on my mind, girl, since the flood,
O-Ophelia,
Heaven help the fool who falls in love,”
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vaas · 8 months ago
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like 3 of the new vegas/tale of two wastelands modding guides are getting archived at the end of the month...
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dutybcrne · 9 months ago
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Dawn Winery Head!Kae during Luc’s absence make brain go brr
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//Bc canonically he stayed at the Winery at that time; Addie even says so in her letter to Diluc#//I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have stepped up to help run affairs; instead of just lettting them handle everything#//(and forever LOVE the idea that Crepus intended to have Kae run the Winery while he hoped Luc succeeded as Captain/Grand Master)#//So I love imagining him just juggling between Winery duties and Captaincy; the way he manages ALL his current duties#//Having to deal with rumors he keeps acting in the Winery’s favor (is it a wonder he’s wellacquainted w ppl mistrusting him in present day#//Him bringing Winery paperwork with him to Knights HQ to deal with things then; bringing Knights paperwork home to the Winery#//Making sure he’s ALWAYS busy; no matter how stressing it gets; bc he’s gotta make sure EVERYTHING is perfect for Luc to come back to#//Luckily Addie and Elzer doing their part too so everything runs smoothly when Kae can’t do it alone#//On a lighter note; Kae hosting SO many events at the Winery—for partnerships; for appearances sakes; for FUN he can bring Jean into#//Him constantly being thrown by ppl referring to him as the Master of the house; but knowing he CANT deny or it’ll mean headaches for them#//Esp taking Other nobles into consideration; like the Lawrence and other Ragnvindr’s if any#//Tryna dodge marriage prospects/offers like the PLAGUE esp with ppl tryna use partnerships as incentive#//Getting all too well versed in a noble’s world; seeing just how much Crepus likely had to juggle; & learning to lie & schmooze his way#to get what he wants out of people; knowing the best ways to deceive and Ruin while maintaining perfect poise & a spotless reputation#//Well; as spotless as a ward not related by blood to the family can have; in the wake of the blood son leaving#//And considering many nobles prolly scrutinized Kae HARD for running the place in Luc’s stead at first after that fact#//One of Crepus’ boys or not; he deffo had SO much to work around#//Deffo pulled out ALL the stops to build trust and rapport with everyone in Mond he could to ensure the Winery wouldn’t be affected alone#//If it happened to get him valued ties for his OWN purposes and dealings too; well; he’s happy to take all he can get#//Bruh prolly started dressing the way he does now rather than conservatively like Luc bc he saw how Useful it was when dealing with others#//Hated it at first bc the Attention made him squirm uncomfortably; learned to Thrive in it esp when it helped get his way#//Could deal with rumors from THAT just like all the others; making having started out small to get folks accustomed to it#//So it’s not SUCH a drastic change from shy little shadow to Debonair peacock of a young master#//Lessens the chance for unsavory rumors to spiral; and him to develop rep enough to discredit those he Does have to deal with#//Bc how can anyone truly HATE such a beloved young man to all of Mond?#//I wonder if that might have impacted Initial views of Luc at his return; being the way he was w Kae; and Kae quickly having to improv#//So ppl think they’re still on decent enough terms that they’re just bantering w only the years apart being what barrier they have between#//The devil works hard; but damn if 4yr/Early captain era Kae didn’t try and work even Harder#hc; kaeya
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dekuneho · 2 months ago
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needy ☆ ( prohero!katsuki x fem!reader ) mdni | 18+ — katsuki's kink is probably you asking for it; katsuki has a filthy mouth im sorryyy 1.7k
You're usually not the first to initiate this. Sex. Katsuki doesn't worry about failing to get what he wants, not like how you are right now. He's vociferous — "Can I fuck you, baby?" and you'd melt against him so easily because you fell for Bakugou Katsuki for that reason.
You can't do that. You don't know how to approach him with the same effortlessness and not get swallowed up whole by the urge to flee before you can even get a word out. It's not for the fear of rejection but for how bare you'd be asking for it. Sex.
Katsuki, of course, notices your restlessness for the entire evening. He doesn't say anything about it at first, not even while you eat together and you can't seem to meet him in the eyes, or how you don't join him in the shower unlike always, or even how you sit on the edge of the bed like there's steam blowing out your ears.
"Spit it out," Katsuki says, his back pressed against the headboard. "Look at me."
You clutch at your chest, bringing attention to the unsteady thumping of your heartbeat. You rip your gaze off the floor and instead gravitate to Katsuki's biceps bulging from the press against his chest.
You swallow a pathetic noise, reminded of what exactly you've been needing from your boyfriend.
You tear your eyes away from his arms and meet an arched, pale eyebrow. Assessing. How is this so hard? You can't even bring yourself to choke out a "pleasefuckme" because Katsuki makes you feel like some freshman asking for some hand-holding in the hallway.
It's embarrassing to be years in a relationship with Katsuki, but you're so attracted to him that asking to be fucked feels the same as asking him out.
It's Katsuki's expression that cracks the fragile atmosphere. He has his brows pinched in a crease that wrinkles his forehead. His face doesn't betray anything else, but you're well-versed in Katsuki to understand that he is just as nervous as you are. Anxious.
"It's nothing bad," you assure him, guilt aching in your chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ignore you."
Katsuki eases just an inch. He clicks his tongue and looks away. "Could've sworn otherwise."
As terrible as that sounds, how Katsuki is just as affected as you are invertedly calms you down. Whatever happens, you know Katsuki will be honest with you.
Clinging onto the last shred of your dignity, you crawl over pillows and settle on Katsuki's lap. Hovering.
His confusion overtakes his worry, hands instinctively reaching out to your waist. "What—"
"Katsuki," you begin, and his breathing halts in anticipation. Tentatively, barely there, you roll your hips over his, fluttering in delight when his cock swells with growing interest, and you can feel it, right there, separated by layers—
"Fuck," he hisses through his teeth, heated hands moving to your ass. "You..."
"Please," it tumbles out your mouth so nicely. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately." Shame burns on your cheeks, watching as his dick stirs. Intrigued. "And you haven't been — giving it. Lately."
"That what it is?" he asks quietly, almost in disbelief. "Needed me to fill you up?"
There's no better way to say it.
When you look up from where you two meet, Katsuki's pupils have dilated so wide that there's barely a trace of red. It speaks of a promise: I'll give it to you. Air closes around your throat, thighs twitching. He feels it, too.
"Been hurtin', weren't you?" he says, sounding untamed as he breathes it over your ear, inciting a full-body shiver. "Been needin' it bad? M'sorry. Didn't mean to neglect you, sweetheart."
"Katsuki," you gasp brokenly.
"Mm." He kisses your jaw, sucks on it, hands catching on the drawstring of your sweatpants, pulls on it. You lift your thighs. Soon enough, you're fully bare waist-down. "So fuckin' hot, asking for me to fuck you like that. Shit, I'm gonna be dreamin' about that for months."
He proves his interest by grinding up your thigh. You whine, feeling it from the back of your throat. You need him so badly. You barely notice that you're still rubbing yourself against him until there's a wet patch over his sweatpants.
"Hold still, sweetheart."
Katsuki dips a finger where you're unsurprisingly wet. He rubs where he knows you're sensitive the most, the slick of your arousal making the friction so good. Your back arches and Katsuki's cooing, coaxing each noise out with his fingers and the filth from his mouth.
"You're already wet," he says, pupils as dark as his voice.
"Don't tease," you manage to choke out, gripping the front of his shirt. "I already — ah — prepped myself. I needed you to fuck me last week."
Katsuki stills, his eyes flicking from your cunt to your needy expression, then curses under his breath.
"Fuck, fuck," he says. "Fuck you. You have no idea how hard it'll be to go out on patrol when I'm thinkin' about you talkin' dirty like that."
Embarrassment floods your entire body. "Don't say it like that, asshole. And focus on your patrol! Don't let your dick distract you from the villains!"
Katsuki shuts you up by sliding the roughness of his palm over your heat, pulling a whimper that makes him grin. "They're the distraction. Never you. Thinkin' about you all the time — this, all the time."
"Pervert," you say, but you're moving your hips along his hand.
Katsuki laughs once, pulling you off his hips, only for him to pull his sweatpants down by his knees. "Who was the one beggin' for it?"
You can't bring yourself to think of something witty. The sight of him hard in front of you has you robbed of incoherent thought.
Katsuki knows it. He's seen that look on your face time and time again — know only he can do that to you. "Let me make it up to you, yeah? Let me fill you up the way you'd been cravin'."
He's so embarrassing with that mouth. It's a wonder why you're whining louder, getting wetter.
"You want it," Katsuki says, leaning back against the headboard. "Baby, you wanted this, didn't you? Take what you want from me."
You may be the one on top of him, but you've never felt all the more embarrassed, giving him a full view of how wet you are for him just by thinking about it. It drips. Yet you find yourself too needy to complain, not wanting to waste the opportunity he's giving.
"Okay," you say, lifting your hips up enough for him to watch yourself lining up above him.
And does he watch, eyes wild. You may be the one to initiate this, but he's the one looking desperate for it. Like he can't bring himself to wait a second longer before burying himself in you. He's big. You might've stretched yourself open, yet it'd take a while for you to accommodate his size again after days without it. So you only take him in inch by inch, impressed by how Katsuki screws his eyes shut, keeping himself from moving.
"Fuck," you both say in tandem.
You shudder, feeling so full in a way you've been itching for. You can barely resist your eyes rolling to the back of your head when you feel him twitch inside you. Katsuki's not fairing any better, fingers digging in your hips, some noise close to a whine by the back of his throat. The thought of him leaving marks when you've been so bare of it for too long has you clenching around him. He groans, unable to help himself from thrusting up. You share a gasp.
You tremble, feeling boneless and restless simultaneously. "Katsuki. Katsuki—”
You're not entirely sure what you're trying to say, only that Katsuki understands.
"I know," he says, sounding just as winded. "Wanted it, too, you don't even know."
At his muttering, you find yourself fucking against him, chasing the pleasure his words are giving you. You missed this badly. Nights when he had evening patrol and you were achingly empty were the worst; you couldn't complain, but you've wanted to hide Katsuki from the world and keep him to you for too long. Your wrists ache at the reminder — they were never as good as this.
Your answering moan is loud in your mouth, hips gaining speed. He reaches far deeper than you can even try. He knows it.
"Yeah? Your fingers not enough, ain't it?" Katsuki says, rolling his hips up when you slam down, gaze hot as you tremble above him. "Look at you, baby. So wet and hot. You're making a mess. Needed it that bad?"
"Yes. Please, please," you can only say. You feel yourself losing strength as your climax slowly reaches for you.
"Fuck," he exhales, and thankfully uses those years of upper body strength training to help you ride him — where it nearly feels as if you're barely exerting any effort. Sweat trails down his jaw, his eyes ravaging the sight of you swallowing him up every thrust. "You — needed me to fill you up like this, huh?"
"Katsuki, I—” You want to look away, shame filling your insides. It's unfair that Katsuki is so attractive that just looking at him makes you surrender so easily. "I think I'm close. Katsuki, I can't—"
"Hah," Katsuki twitches, breath seizing. "Yeah? You gonna give it t'me, baby? Come on. Know you can. Show me how good I make you feel."
Tears well up in your eyes. This position has him reaching so deep inside that after this, you know you'll miss how you can feel him in there, like he's branding himself in your body, staking a claim where no one else can see. But they'd know. On the bruises on your hips, the marks all over your neck, how you're chanting Katsuki's name and—
Katsuki kisses you deeply when you spill, his own release following along like just seeing you gets him every time. You moan fully in his mouth, always surrendering.
"Thank you," you sigh against him.
Katsuki snorts, massaging shapes into the sides of your hips. "You know I'll always want it more than you. Don't gotta thank me for that."
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writingsbychlo · 3 months ago
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WITHDRAWAL | theodore nott
summary; theo decides to quit smoking, but doesn't realise that his decision would affect his girlfriend, too.
word count; 3007
notes; just a cute, fluffy little piece based on something that I was tagged in about 2 months ago! unfortunately, I cannot find the original post or tagger, but if it's you, please let me know!!
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If there was one thing about Theodore Nott that couldn't be denied, it was that he loved with everything he had. 
He loved his friends; he was loyal to a fault and he’d never let them down. He loved his family, he wrote over fifteen letters a week to all his aunties and cousins, and still held onto his mother’s recipe book, even to this day. 
And he loved, adored, his girlfriend with everything that he had. He’d do anything for her, crawl across hot coals if she asked, give up his magic and his money and his legacy, just to make her happy. She’d never asked as such of him, still blushed when he pulled out his wallet when they shopped and smiled brighter than the sun when he gave her a handmade card or something he’d cooked. So, to his eyes, it didn’t seem all that much when he decided to give up smoking for her. 
She hadn't asked him to, never even pulled a face when he smoked. But Theo was damn sick of trying to blow the smoke away from her when she joined him at the astronomy tower, cuddled up to his chest, because he didn’t want that poison near her. He hated watching her shiver on the colder nights, he hated waking her in the middle of the night when he got up to satiate that itch, and he hated thinking of a future where he left her too soon, running short on time, because he ruined himself.
He chucked his last box into the fireplace one impulsive morning, and thought he might go cold turkey. He’d been so moody by lunchtime that he’d almost bitten Enzo’s head off over the way he pronounced ‘tomato’. That afternoon, he’d ditched his classes and trudged through the snow to the floo connection at the Hog’s Head, and picked up enough nicotine patches from a muggle supply store to knock out a fully grown Hippogriff.
He’d torn the packaging off of one in the grimy restroom at the back of the store and slapped it onto his bicep, and almost collapsed from the relief it gave him. It wasn’t nearly as effective as picking up a packet from the newsagent’s stand he’d passed would’ve been, but as soon as his fingers had twitched to pick up a box, your face had flashed through his mind. Your face, smiling at him, your face that morning telling him how proud you were of him when he’d shared his goals in hopes of support, and it was enough to deter him from the purchase.
You were his strength, once again, as you’d always been. 
And truly, you were so proud of Theo. Changing his patches for him every evening, in time with that first one. Reading up on the muggle solutions, and making sure you were fully versed on how to help him. Keeping him busy seemed to help, when he got bored, his eyes started flicking towards the door, and the slight irritability he’d been able to keep a lid on pretty well would begin to flare up. For the most part, he’d been staying at your dorm, in an active attempt to keep away from Mattheo, who wasn’t quite ready to give up his comfortable vice just yet. 
Unfortunately, as the days went on, while Theo seemed to be handling it just fine, you were struggling. The irritability grew, even Draco’s breathing was making you want to snap pencils in half in the library, or throw Enzo off the astronomy tower if he scraped his fork on his plate one more time. You were ravenous, and nauseous, all at the same time. You wanted to eat everything but could hardly hold it down. You were dizzy, and fatigued, and your grades were going to start slipping if this continued, because it had been almost a week since you’d been able to concentrate on any thought longer than a minute, never mind a whole class. 
And now, you were lying in bed, rubbing at your eyes angrily but unable to sleep as you stared at the ceiling. Theo, for once, was sleeping soundly beside you. Since giving up smoking, his sleep patterns had been getting better, while yours were getting worse by the night. Almost a week, and you’d barely gotten nine hours of sleep put together. 
When you shuffled again, pressing yourself a little closer to Theo as you rolled onto your side, he began to surface. The arm over your midriff tightened, pulling you in until your hips were bracketed against his, and he chuckled sleepily into your neck. Burying himself in, he pressed a kiss there, and another, and another. The rough pounding of your heart settled as you clasped Theo’s hand in your own, holding them to your chest as he littered your shoulder with kisses. 
At your sigh, he rolled you over, propping himself up on his elbow and yawning. Shaking his hand free from your own, he stroked the back of a finger along your cheek, and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. As his hand settled on the side of your neck instead, yours slipped up to cup his jaw, and you melted into the tender love he offered you in the darkest hours. 
“What’s wrong, tesoro? Why are you awake?”
“Why are you awake?” you rebuffed, fingers lifting to comb through his hair, to push it back out of his eyes as he blinked himself a little more awake.
He shrugged, “This is about the time I’d normally go for a smoke.” He murmured, and your eyes flickered to the clock. 
You knew well enough the schedule Theo used to keep while smoking. Your timetable had slowly synched to it over the time you’d been dating. He’d wake up during the night, at some point around two, and disappear for a smoke. He’d take twenty minutes, or thirty if he bumped into Mattheo, and then he’d come back to bed. 
You didn’t mind the disturbance. Not when he’d come back slightly chilled from the night air and snuggle in close to you, wrapping himself around you.
“Actually, this is the time you’d normally come back from having a smoke, and give me my midnight kisses.”
“Is that why my girl is so restless tonight? Because I owe her some kisses?” He teased, leaning down until your noses were bumping, and you could taste the mint on his breath. Normally, he tasted like smoke, not toothpaste, and the shock of his warm lips instead of cold ones made you hum. 
The languid kisses melted the time away, his hand sliding up your shirt, sitting on your ribs and squeezing softly as he lowered himself down, covering your body with his own. Theo had always been your comfort, and your happy place. Being in his arms made you feel safe, and his kisses made you feel relaxed. As he licked his way into your mouth lazily, you anticipated the hazy blur of relaxation that usually followed when he kissed you. 
But, like usual recently, it never came. Instead, when he finally pulled back, and pecked the tip of your nose, he found you frowning, instead of smiling up at him. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” You huffed, frustrated at yourself, at your confusion and the growing irrational irritation. “It’s not the same.”
“What’s not the same, bella?”
“Your… your kisses.” Your words trailed to a whisper, knowing he wouldn't understand, and the hurt that flickered across his face made your heartbreak. 
“They’re not?”
“No. I don’t know why.” His lips curled further at the sides, and the look on his face made you want to cry. It made you hate yourself, aggressively, and if you could tear out your own heart and give it to him just to see him smile again, you would. Just another thing you’d been suffering with lately, an overwhelm of your emotions, worse than any mood swing you got when you were on your period. “It’s not you, Teddy, it’s me. You’re still my happy place, you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me. I’m the problem.”
“You’re not a problem, bella. But we should figure it out. I don’t want to… kiss you wrong, and see that look on your face. What’s different, tell me what’s changed?” His sweet words made tears prickle at your eyes, and you sniffed sadly as you looked at him. 
“I love you so much, Theo.”
“I know, tesoro. I love you too.” His thumb smoothed over your cheek, “Tell me.”
“I don’t know!” Your snap made his eyes widen. “You’re just… different. You don’t kiss the same way, you used to get all needy when you came back from a smoke, but you don’t anymore, and you taste different! You taste like mint right now, and it just doesn’t make me feel the same way afterwards.”
Your words were jumbled and hurried, rushed out as you smoked them and his brows furrowed as he tried to decipher what you meant. Second ticked by into silent minutes as Theo’s wonderful mind ticked and whirred, thinking the problem through, and playing with the information. Then, before you could say anything else, something clicked. You could see it in his eyes, when the gears stopped turning and the thoughts stopped flowing because he’d found the answer. 
Pulling away from you, he sat up, kicking back the covers and letting in the cold air, before moving across the room and shuffling through his gym kit left in the corner. Pulling out a nicotine packet from the box inside, he shook it out, using his teeth to tear open the packet as he made his way back to the bed. Sitting yourself up, you propped yourself in the pillows as he peeled off the plastic backing, and tried to unstick his fingers from it, holding it by the corners. 
“You’ve only had your patch on for nine hours, Teddy, it’s not time to change yet.”
He clicked his tongue, shaking his head and settling in beside you on the bed, legs folded underneath himself. “This isn’t for me, bella. Take off your shirt.” 
Slipping your arm out of your shirt, you pushed it to the side, watching as Theo brushed cotton fibres off of your shoulder, before sealing the patch onto your skin. He made sure it was properly sealed down, flattening it to your skin, before feeding your arm back through the sleeve of your shirt. He smoothed the top back down your torso, pressing a cheeky kiss to your breast over your heart as he did, and sitting back on his legs to wait. 
“Give it a second, then tell me how you feel.” He whispered, the moment feeling entirely too fragile as his hand took yours, fingers linked together. He kissed along your knuckles, his eyes locked on your face, waiting. And the moment you felt it hit, you knew he saw it too. 
It was like a cool, soothing balm over a raw, aggravated wound. It felt like running cold water on a new burn or healing a painful graze with a quick Episky. “Oh, Merlin…”
“I know, tell me about it.” He mumbled, the smile on his face at victoriously solving the problem melting away as realisation set in. “Cazzo, bella, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You have a nicotine addiction, and it’s my fault. All that time you spent with me at the tower, and the smoke on me, and kissing you as soon as I finished smoking. All your moodiness these last few days—”
“Hey!”
“It’s true, baby. It all makes sense.” He rubbed a hand over his face, and squeezed your hand tighter in the other. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I quit because I didn’t want this to happen to you, I didn’t want my problems to poison you, but it’s too late.”
“Kiss me.”
“What?”
“Kiss me, Teddy.” You demand again, pulling him in, and his mouth collides with yours as he makes a subtle groan of surprise and pleasure. 
His hand gripped the headboard behind you, the other skimming down your side. As you leaned back into the pillows, you took him with you, his body falling over your own, slotting between your thighs as our hearts thudded together where his chest pressed to yours. Your hands slid over his shoulders, skimming down his back, and he moaned again as your fingernails scraped across his lower back as you tugged at his shirt. 
He sat up, letting you pull it off of him, before his arms were back, caging you in on either side as he fell back down against you. Pulling one of your legs up to sit on his hip, he dragged himself away from your mouth, trailing wet kisses down your jaw, to the pulse point on your neck and back up. 
“Merde, bella. What’s gotten into you? Not that I’m complaining.”
“You’re perfect, Theo.” You smiled, leaning up to steal more kisses from his lips that he was happy to reciprocate, “You’re perfect, your kisses are perfect. I knew it was me, not you. I was the problem.”
“A problem I gave you,” He groaned, his hips rolling against your own as you giggled breathlessly. 
“Yeah, whatever. Now we’re quitting together. That’s the promise we made, we do everything together, right?”
“Damn right, tesoro.” He growled, teeth nipping at the underside of your jaw, as he began to make his way down your body. Your fingers were loose in his hair, settling back in the pillows, eyes slipping closed as he kissed along the insides of your thighs, teasingly. Finally, your body could relax, no longer tense and buzzing, but the foggy comfort of the night made your muscles ease into the bed, your body feeling heavy, and you sighed in bliss. 
Theo mumbled something, and you let your legs fall a little further apart, but your grip on consciousness was falling further and further away as the nicotine coursed through your body, finally letting you ease into sleep you’d missed for days.
“Bella,” Theo said, his voice sharper, and you stirred, working hard to force your eyes open, but they’d only made it halfway. His hair was ruffled, eyes wide and lips swollen, but his smirk melted away from his face into a tender smile as he looked down at you. 
“Sorry, what’d you say, baby?” The words slurred out of you, and he chuckled. His fingers unhooked from the sides of your shorts, and he leaned over to kiss your forehead. “M’sorry, I’m so sleepy all of a sudden.”
“S’okay, bella. Never apologise. C’mere, let’s just cuddle.”
Tucking your body into his, you shuffled your hips back into him, and he threw his leg over yours as he held you tight to his body. “You’re hard.”
“It’ll go down, don’t worry.” He snickered, kissing the back of your head. “S’your fault anyway.”
“Sorry…” You whispered, again, sleepily. “I’ll make it up t’you t’morrow.”
“Go to sleep, amore.”
But you’d already drifted off.
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It was just as you were closing your History of Magic book, that Theo announced his presence in the common room as he walked in alongside Mattheo. They were loud, and raucous, and thankfully, you were less inclined to bite their heads off for it today. 
In fact, alongside Enzo, you’d been able to catch up on all of the History homework you’d been missing out on for the last week or so, getting you back on track for at least one of your subjects. 
“Patch change time, bella!” Theo announced, making his way over to you as he untucked his shirt and began to undo the buttons down the front. Tugging the tie out of the way, he crashed down ungracefully onto the couch beside you, Mattheo nudging Draco to move up so he could sit down too. 
This had become a regular part of your routine now, and you pushed the edges of his half-unbuttoned shirt aside to reveal the patch sitting on the middle of his left pectoral. Picking at one corner, you peeled it away gently, careful not to tug on his skin as you did, and Theo watched on adoringly in silence as you took care of him. Unwrapping a new patch, you brushed off the spot, before sticking a new patch onto him and smoothing down the bandage. 
He patted it himself, before doing a couple of the buttons on his shirt back up for modesty, as though he hadn't already given half of the common room a show, before he leaned in to peck your lips. His fingers fell to the buttons of your shirt, and he began to undo them slowly. “Your turn.”
He undid just enough to reveal your shoulder, without letting anyone else catch a glimpse of anything underneath, and as he leaned down to begin peeling away the old patch, you caught Enzo’s confused expression. 
“Why are you wearing a patch?” He asked, and Theo laughed to himself quietly as he changed your old one out. 
“Because loverboy here got me addicted too, through kisses and secondary smoke.”
The others burst out laughing, unfettered by your glaring as they made kissy sounds and crude remarks, while Theo buttoned your shirt back up. Your glare turned to him as you caught sight of his smile, and he shrugged, a lopsided smile on his lips. “What can I say, bella? I’m just that good.”
“Oh, shut it,” You smacked his chest, and he took your hand, tugging you forward to cuddle you into his chest as he kissed your temple. 
“I happen to think it’s adorable that as a by-product of how you got addicted, that means you were addicted to me.”
“Mhmm.” Your eyes rolled, and he squeezed you even tighter. 
“You had me addicted to you without any substances at all, bella. Just you.”
“Alright,” You scoff, “Stop sweet-talking me.”
“Never.”
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ascheming-archive · 1 year ago
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you can't honestly expect me to believe all that. // es Megatron to ur Scream
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" Am I supposed to be shocked that the mighty Megatron doesn't believe me? Please, we've done this same song and dance for eons. Get new material. "
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zepskies · 5 months ago
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Wanderlust
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Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x F. Reader
Summary: Your wandering hands are keeping Ben up at night.
AN: My nightly daydreams led me to Soldier Boy this time. 😂
I was imagining the Break Me Down-verse for this one (shortly after Checkerboard), but it can also be general Soldier Boy x Reader.
Word Count: 650
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only to be safe. Fluff, innuendo, Sleepy Ben, implied smut.
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You traced down his back with light, trailing fingers.
Lying next to him in bed, with scraps of moonlight filtering through the closed blinds in the window as your only guide, your mind was still drifting even though you should’ve been sleeping.
You couldn’t help yourself.  
You drew invisible patterns across his bare skin. Ben was warm, always warm, even though the AC was making the room almost frigid. You knew it was the ever-present radiator in his chest that made him your own personal heater.
You propped your head up better with an elbow on your pillow as you laid on your side. You then let your hand drift over every dip of muscle between his shoulders, every small freckle you knew just from memory, then down and down his spine.
You flirted with the idea of inching down the sheets, where his bare ass would greet you. From there, you supposed you'd decide what wandering direction your hand took next.
“If you don’t go to sleep,” his deep voice rumbled, “I’m gonna wake up and fuck you again.”
You bit your lip against a giggle, but you didn’t quite succeed.
“It sounds like you’re already awake,” you remarked.
Ben grumbled incoherently in response. He was tired, you knew. He’d just come back from a week-long mission with Butcher and Co. for Supe Affairs. Hence the long night you two spent catching up.
If you were honest, you were still tingling between your legs. Your thighs and ass were a little sore too. Likely they’d be sporting a few fingerprints tomorrow.
You didn't mind it so much though. You two now had a safe word for that kind of thing.
You smirked, sifting your fingers through his hair. It was getting long again. Maybe you’d trim it for him tomorrow, since you both had the weekend off.  
Your hand meandered down the back of his neck, just to begin dragging your nails up and down the slope of his back.
“What does that feel like to you?” you asked curiously. You often wondered how much his invulnerability affected the way he felt things, especially the way you touched him.
“Like a tease,” he muttered.
You applied some more pressure with your nails. Not the way you’d scored his back about an hour ago, when he’d had his sinful mouth all over your body, but enough to be more than a tease. Enough that it would’ve left an angry, red trail on your own “fragile” human skin.
Still, you weren’t able to leave any marks on him. Just a faint whiteness of pressure against his skin that soon returned to normal when you moved your hand away.
“How about that?” you asked.
“Like you’re playing with fucking fire,” Ben said, though you heard the smirk in his voice. “Go to sleep.”
You smiled too.
“We'll pick this up in the morning,” he made sure to add, though he was already halfway back to slumber, from the sound of it.
“Oh, I’m sure,” you said, laughing lightly. You leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against his shoulder. “G’night, babe.”
“Mhmm,” he responded.
He groaned deep in his throat and turned over onto his back. Your smile remained as your body tensed in anticipation, but all he did was slide an arm under your waist and curl you towards him, trapping you against his chest. His hand splayed against your lower back, heavy and warm.
His lips brushed your hair away from your forehead and lingered there. He closed his eyes and let out a deep exhale. You did the same, relaxing against him. Your hand came to rest against the steady thrum of his heart.
Moments like this with him still managed to surprise you…but admittedly, less and less the longer you lived and shared together.
A girl could get used to it though.
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AN: Lol should she have pressed her luck? Let me know what you think of this one! 😉💚
Keep Reading in the BMD-verse:
Next we have a fun, fluffy, angsty, smutty Christmas special, Love Actually:
Summary: Ben gets in late on Christmas Eve with a Grinch-like attitude, but you’re determined to force some holiday cheer into his system.
▶️ Next Story: Love Actually
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Break Me Down Masterlist
Soldier Boy Masterlist
Main Masterlist
BMD Tag List (Part 1):
Including the BMD tag list on this, since that's what my heart was imagining. 😂
@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26
@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort
@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @xoxovienna @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28
@nancymcl @ashbatz @vavafaure1994 @kristophalis @wonderland2022
@emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow
@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @theonlymaninthesky
@kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun
@lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2
@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420
@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx
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ascheming · 1 year ago
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@transfcrmcrs
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"Ah, Soundwave. Now that we're all free, you're not planning on reconciling with him... are you?"
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hairmetal666 · 9 months ago
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They start kissing on stage as a joke.
The night before the first time, they're at an afterparty, pounding shots, and Eddie is reading aloud a piece that just came out in Rolling Stone. "'One of the most noteworthy parts of Munson and Harrington's unlikely pairing is their chemistry on stage. It's like these two men--one on his way to being the latest metal god, the other an indie rock wunderkind--are two parts of one musical whole. Their singing, their playing, even their bodies twine and flow with assuredness; where one goes, the other follows without question. They share a single brain-cell and that cell is music'."
Steve giggles, pours some more Grey Goose into the glass. "If they say that now, could you imagine what would happen if we, like, kissed on stage or something."
"What the fuck, Harrington?" Eddie splutters, having just thrown a drink back.
"I don't know, other bands do it!"
Eddie snorts. "I'm cutting you off." He reaches for the bottle and the suggestion is forgotten for wrestling over the liquor.
Steve barely remembers it in the morning. Doesn't think about it at all as he gets ready to go out on stage.
They're playing one of the instrumental breakdowns when it happens. They're leaning into each other, Eddie smiling over his shoulder at him, their eyes locked, bodies moving together. "You wanna?" Eddie mouths at him.
Steve nods before the question actually registers and by then Eddie's warm, soft mouth is against his and he just-- completely forgets what he's doing. His hands still on the guitar strings, and he melts a little, going completely boneless when Eddie grips the back of his head, pulls him deeper into the kiss. t's over almost as quickly as it started, Eddie pulling away and swirling to the mic to start the next verse.
The kiss sinks into Steve's bones, and that's before it becomes a regular feature of their performances. After that night, they're never at the same time during the show, all initiated by Eddie, all over before he can catch his breath; each one chaste and surrounded by people but somehow more intimate than any make out.
He and Eddie, they're friends, bandmates, collaborators. They've known each other since they first started out, forging an immediate connection with they stumbled upon each other hiding out in the garden at some industry bigwig's party. And as much as he loved his friend, never once in that time had Steve considered wanting Eddie.
But now, now he falls asleep with the ghost of Eddie on his lips, goes into each show with a thrum of anticipation, catches himself thinking how beautiful his friend is when he's all rumpled and disheveled from a night in the tour bus bunks.
They've always been easy with physical affection, but once the kissing starts they're constantly in each other's space, idly playing with hair, laying across laps, heads on shoulders, twisting together on the tour bus couch. Steve is ruined with every touch, every moment; he can't get enough.
The first time Eddie uses tongue destroys every last piece of Steve's composure. They've added a new song to the setlist, a remixed version of Eddie's hit "Prince Charming". It's hard, heavy, sexy, one of Steve's favorites. And in the middle of it, right in the middle, Eddie shoves him against a low platform, kisses him like he's trying to own him, tongues twining eager and wet and full of sinful promise. It's like that every show after, Eddie kissing him deep and thorough, like he's trying to lick up every drop of Steve.
He is, unquestionably, fucked. Unquestionably falling. Can't properly fathom how he'd gotten himself here, desperate for Eddie's kiss, as performative as it may be.
They're packing up equipment after a show. Eddie's hair is piled in a messy bun and Steve is trying not to blatantly stare at the curve of his neck, the stray curls against his pale skin. Eddie's gesturing at something, says, "Can you grab those cords, swee--Steve?" He hands them over without thought, notices that Eddie's face is shining red. He's called away to deal with packing the guitars, forgets all about it, but at their next show, Eddie doesn't kiss him.
They don't talk about it.
Eddie doesn't try to kiss him again.
A week after Eddie stops the kiss, they have a night off between shows. He needs to get out of his head, goes out with Robin. He gets back fairly early, but all the lights are off in the bus. It makes him panic in a way it shouldn't; they've always done their own things. Still, he rushes on board, flips on the lights, his absurd heart beating too hard.
Eddie is curled up on the couch, face pressed to the pillows and covered with his hands. The panic kicks up a notch.
"Eddie?" He steps closer, slowly reaching out to grip Eddie's shoulder.
He jerks upright, earbuds slipping free, phone sliding down his hip. "Steve?"
His face is wet, tears actively slipping free from his eyes as Steve watches.
"What happened? Are you hurt?" His hands flutter around Eddie's arms and face, searching for bruises or wounds.
"I'm fine, Harrington," he chokes out. "Though you were out with Robin?"
"Yeah, I was, but Chrissy called. You know how useless she gets. But that doesn't--you--you're crying. What's wrong?"
Eddie's smile is a wobbly little thing, refusing to stick on his face. "Oh, you know, the usual. Fell for the wrong guy."
Steve forces down the gut churning hurt at hearing that Eddie's in love with someone, intent on comforting his friend. He tries to slip his arm around Eddie's shoulders, but Eddie shrugs him off. It jostles Eddie's phone again, slipping it toward Steve and activating the screen. He has a split second where he's looking at the cover of his own first album, before Eddie's snatching it out of reach, scrambling up from the couch.
"I'm fine." He swipes his sleeve over his face. "It's nothing."
And Steve is putting it all together, the being in love and listening to Steve's music, the kissing and how it ended.--
"Eddie." He sounds all wrong, choked and garbled.
Eddie doesn't turn around, is stuffing his feet into his boots. "I'm--I gotta go clear my head."
He walks towards the door and Steve just--"I've been obsessed with you since the first kiss," he says. Eddie stops, hand curled against the door. "We've been friends all this time and I didn't--I never realized. And then we kissed and--it's all I've been able to think about."
Eddie turns then, facing him, expression unreadable."Steve, what are you--"
"I love you. I'm in love with you." It comes out fast, all jumbled, but he can't stand Eddie leaving, not now.
"You--?" Eddie blinks, bites his lip. "That's not possible."
Steve smiles, can't help it. "It is, though. Turns out, I can't get enough."
Their eyes lock; neither speaks. Steve's heart pounds so hard it might spring free of his chest. Eddie moves first, crosses the small distance between them to pull Steve into his arms.
It's not a kiss, but Steve buries his face against Eddie's neck, breathing him in, feeling the echo to the pound of his own heart. "How long?" Steve asks.
Eddie's soft laugh vibrates through him. "Since I saw you walking in that garden and thought, 'jesus christ, Prince Charming is real'."
Steve pulls away to stare at Eddie in disbelief. "But that's--your--the song?"
"They're kinda all about you, Stevie. But that one most of all." Eddie whispers. His eyes glisten.
"Fuck, Eddie." He doesn't mean to whine, but he's not in control of his voice anymore. "I'm sorry I didn't--" He shakes his head. "I'm all yours, Ed. Whatever you want."
Eddie's thumb catches against Steve's bottom lips, eyes transfixed on his mouth. "Everything, sweetheart. I want it all."
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lymtw · 6 months ago
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Thinking about those soft, nonsexual, intimate moments where you and Toji are lying in bed, with you on top of him. You're straddling him and your arms are thrown over his shoulders, clinging onto him like a little koala. Your face is buried into his neck and your eyes are shut as you bask in the warmth of his body.
"What's wrong, baby?" He asks, letting his arms come up to rest on your back. Having Toji's arms around you was like leaving every bad thing you've ever experienced behind. He radiated the warmth of a thousand suns, and it soothed you like nothing else.
You didn't respond to his question, instead your lips pressed to his neck, brushing against him with the gentleness of a light breeze. You're smart enough to know that if you kiss him too hard, it'll start a fire in a moment where one isn't necessary.
He's smiling, softly, at your sign of affection. His palms rub your back, comfortingly, with little to no pressure. Toji is all for having sex with you, all the time and anytime. He's well versed in this method of intimacy with you, but he's not an emotionless machine. He recognizes well enough when you need more than an orgasm. He understands that you have a heart, and sometimes it needs to be tended to, regardless of whether it's damaged or not. Sometimes you just want to feel loved, and when times like these are presented to him, who is he to ridicule you for needing him?
He chuckles, softly. "Just wanna love on me, don't you, baby?"
His hands lower to the hem of your shirt, sliding beneath it to get to the warmth of your bare skin. The tranquilizing motions on your back return.
"Just need you to be with me, right now," you mumble into his neck. "I know this probably seems weird, but I just wanna stay like this for a while."
"Shh... you're alright, my sweet girl. We can be quiet for a bit."
You go back to lazily kissing his neck. You can feel his heartbeat thrumming against your lips, a rhythm that makes your own heart start to pick up that same pace. You take a deep breath and slowly let it out, pausing your movements to appreciate the distinct smell of his cologne. It makes you want to squeeze him until he can't breathe, or at least attempt to squeeze him that hard.
"Toji," you say, quietly, like you're saying it to yourself.
"Hm?" He responds, stilling his hands.
"Nothing. Just wanted to say your name. I like saying your name."
Another laugh rumbles through his chest, the movement shaking you a little. "It's yours to say."
"Can I keep saying it? Until it doesn't sound like a name anymore?"
He smiles, pulling one hand out of your shirt to place it on the nape of your neck. "By all means. Don't need my permission."
You giggle, the sound so clear beneath Toji's ear. If he had the warmth of a thousand suns, you had the beauty of the night's guiding moon.
"Toji," you say, softly. After every repetition of his name, you ghost your lips all over his neck. Toji thinks he could stay like this for longer than a bit. He feels at ease, knowing you're there, acting as his most cherished blanket. He feels so light, like he's not even in his body anymore. You don't even know how happy he is. You can't see the soft smile on his face and how it's failing to disappear.
"Toji," you repeated one last time.
He had lost track of how many times you said his name, but not once did he get tired of hearing it. He wanted to answer your call, this time. "Yeah, baby?"
"Love you."
In all your gentleness and loving, you offered him serenity, and he enveloped himself in it. If your love could be bottled, he would live off of it. He would cook it into his every day meals. He would blend it into his protein shakes. He would bathe in it. He would mix it with his cologne. He would live off of it like it's the secret to a life spent with you loving him the way you do. So what if he's addicted? It seems like the perfect way to go.
Toji could hear your light breathing. You stopped kissing him, and your arms went limp on his shoulders. You fell asleep. It was a common occurrence whenever you shared moments like these with him. It was the security, and his embrace, and his warmth, and his scent... all things that made you feel safe enough to doze off.
He pressed multiple quick kisses to your temple. Both of his arms returned to your torso, wrapping around it with a slightly tighter hold than before. "Love you, too, mama," he muttered against your temple. He ended up falling asleep to the sound of your breathing.
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changetyre · 2 months ago
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Broken ⒾⓈⓌ
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SUMMARY: You and Max are having trouble trying to grow your family and your daughters are affected by it. Part of the Verstappen Family Verse
WARNINGS: Angst, miscommunication, pregnancy issues, a smidge of smut at the end.
A/N: This was requested over on Wattpad. Despite the angst, this is one of my favorite parts of this series.
Max stretched out, his back feeling painful after carrying all the presents he'd bought up from the parking lot before stashing them in a high cupboard in the house where he was sure nobody would look. It was late and he'd spent most of the day out looking for gifts, although truly it was also an excuse to get some space since the environment at home wasn't the best right now. 
The house was quiet when he arrived, a good indicator the girls were already asleep in their room and you as well probably. Although only a few months ago there wouldn't be a day you wouldn't wait for Max before going to bed, physically unable to go to sleep without hearing his voice but lately things had changed and you and Max often went to bed without exchanging any words at all. 
Once he finally made his way to your bedroom he wasn't surprised to find you were in fact asleep, clothes scattered around the room which you also hadn't bothered to clean up. Max sighed, he was tired having not really had a day of relaxation since the season ended despite imagining he'd spend his winter holidays differently, that things would somehow get better. 
He proceeded to pick up the room a little bit making it a little more presentable before taking a quick shower and joining you in bed. While his skin screamed to feel yours Max didn't feel comfortable enough to do so anymore, not knowing how you'd react to him placing an arm around you like he had done every night since you'd gotten together..until a few months ago. 
The next morning Max woke up to find you'd woken up but stayed laying there simply staring up at the ceiling, he knew your mind was spiraling but truly didn't want to ask anymore knowing you'd shut him out.  
"Hey," Max asked. His voice almost felt too loud for the silence. 
"Hi." Your voice was barely above a whisper, the sound almost strange to him not used to hearing it often anymore. 
"How d'you sleep?" Max asked. 
"I'm gonna go make breakfast for the girls." you ignored his question avoiding eye contact as you left the room leaving no more space for conversation. 
Once Max got himself ready for the day he went out to join you for breakfast finding you'd already eaten and were in the process of washing the dishes. He'd be lying if he said this didn't hurt him but held back from saying anything not wanting to start an argument. 
The rest of the day was mostly spent in silence apart from the laughter and ruckus from your children there were no words exchanged between you and Max. At some point, Max left the house once more wanting space. 
"Mama," Ivy called you as you played with both your daughters in the balcony. 
"Yeah, baby." Your daughters naturally made you smile, probably the only time you showed any sort of emotion lately. 
"Do you and Papa not love each other anymore?" She asked. 
Your heart skipped a beat, the immediate urge to cry reaching your throat and you only hoped your eyes gave no indication to the sudden burst of emotion. You noticed the way Lea's smile also dropped at the question, her attention ready to hear your answer. 
"Uhm, of course we do baby why would you think that?" You asked hoping your shaky voice didn't worry your daughters. 
"Papa doesn't blink at you anymore...like dis mama." Ivy showed you by blinking her eyes hard three times just like her father used to do to you almost daily before. 
The reminder of this almost broke you, you began picking up the girl's toys making sure they weren't able to see your face properly as you began crying. "You don't have to worry girls, everythings okay with Papa and me." You lied to your daughters, and it was evident by the weakness of your voice but you weren't sure what else to say. 
"Mama, are you okay?" Lea asked this time, her voice filled with concern, she was growing up, she of course noticed things, possibly understood things a little more than her sister and you knew you were hurting her, hurting them both and thought of this killed you inside. 
"I'm fine Lea, why don't you take your sister to your room and watch a movie, I'm gonna shower." You tried your best to force a smile wiping your eyes with the back of your hand before facing your older daughter. 
Lea simply nodded not wanting to cause you more distress before taking Ivy's hand and guiding her away. Once they were gone you let yourself cry it out. 
Trying and failing to conceive another child had been more emotionally draining than you had ever imagined it would be. You and Max had tried, tried, and tired to the point making love to him wasn't exciting anymore, it was frustrating, full of desperation, and so eventually, you stopped. You stopped trying, stopped connecting, stopped loving.  
Silence seemed like the easiest solution, not willing to face the reality of it all. Drowning in your own thoughts was exhausting but it seemed like the better option since potentially hearing the way you let down your partner, your family was worse. 
But it was obvious now, it was obvious how much this was already hurting your family so you had to toughen up now, muster enough strength to talk to Max, talk to your husband, and face whatever was next for you, whether good or bad it had to better than letting your daughters see the way things were falling apart between you. 
___________
Max once again came home to silence, he could hear the TV on in the girl's room and he didn't want to go to his room so instead decided to try to wrap up the presents in secret while he had the time. 
Max was semi-successful, his daughters had walked out of their room and been insistent on wanting to know what Max was doing despite him telling them several times to go back to their rooms and his patience was wearing thin. 
He was only able to get them to stay in their rooms after promising them a play date with their uncle Lando on the weekend if they behaved. Finally knowing they would stay in their rooms Max took the time to try to hide the gifts again so he could put them under the tree by the end of the month. 
He'd headed to the bathroom and when he came back anger and frustration flooded him at seeing Lea helping Ivy up to the counter to try to open the cupboard where he'd stashed the gifts. 
"LEA!" Max yelled letting his emotions control him for the first time with his daughters. 
Lea and Ivy both gasped and Max ran to catch Ivy who almost slipped off the counter trying to get down quickly. 
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING! WERE YOU EVEN THINKING!? YOUR SISTER COULD'VE GOTTEN HURT!" Max yelled at his older daughter. 
You heard the commotion from the room running out to check on the situation. "I WANT YOU BOTH IN YOUR ROOMS, NO TV, NO GAMES, GO STRAIGHT TO BED!" Max continued yelling. 
Both Ivy and Lea were in tears at seeing their dad so angry for the first time in their lives, running straight to their rooms. 
"Max calm down." Your heart broke, you knew Max was never like this with your daughters and it scared you to see this side of him come out, feeling partly guilty for it. 
"Oh wow...so now you decide to talk to me." Max scoffed pushing past you and into your room. 
Your heart broke at the action, but he was right. You knew he needed time to cool off so you headed to your daughter's room to check on them. 
Opening the door you had to try to hold back your own tears at the sight. Lea held Ivy in her arms as they both sobbed. You couldn't say anything to afraid to burst into tears so instead sat by your daughter's bed and hugged them both. 
"I-I-I'm so-so-sorry-ma-ma." Lea hiccuped not being able to catch her own breath at how much she cried. 
This time you felt a few tears run down your cheeks. "Hey baby it's okay." You took her face in your hands trying to soothe her. "Lea honey it's okay." You blew gently on your daughter's face trying to calm her down. 
"Pa-pa's- ang-angr-angry." she continued hiccuping. 
"I know darling he shouldn't have yelled like that baby. He loves you so much, we both do." You reminded her kissing her forehead. 
Eventually, Ivy had fallen asleep crying on her sister's lap so you picked her up and moved her to her bed tucking her in. You then went back to your older daughter who was having a little bit of a harder time settling down. 
"Lea listen sometimes people get angry at other things and they feel so angry for a long time that when something else happens they just blow up and scream." You tried your best to explain to your daughter. 
"Like papa?" She asked. 
"Yeah like Papa Baby, Papa's feeling a lot of things because of something else and unfortunately he just took it out on you." You revealed. 
Little did you know Max was listening from outside, after cooling off a little he felt bad and meant to go apologize to his daughters but stopped once he heard you inside with them. 
"But why?" Lea asked. "Why is papa angry mama?" Lea was almost 6, you knew she was starting to get a better grasp of things and you also knew being honest with her would be the best thing for her right now so after thinking about it for a few seconds you decided to just be honest with her. 
"Do you remember on Ivy's 2nd birthday when she wished for a brother?" You asked your daughter. 
"Yeah," Lea replied moving her head to look up at you. 
"Well your Papa and I after that, after talking a lot tried to make another baby..."Your voice broke. 
Max's heart broke at hearing you struggle to speak. 
"Well, we tried for a long time and Mama just couldn't get another baby in her tummy which made both Mama and Papa really really sad." You revealed. 
"Why won't the baby go in your tummy mama?" Lea asked innocently, reaching for her little hand to wipe some tears off your cheek. 
"I don't know baby, maybe mommy's broken." You were full-on crying but you could see your daughter's understanding eyes at the situation. 
"Is that why Papa doesn't say I love you with his eyes anymore?" Lea asked again, oblivious to the impact her question had on her parents. Max fell to his knees outside the room distraught at the guilt he could hear in your voice, and about the fact that his daughters and possibly you thought he didn't love you anymore. 
"I don't know honey...maybe. It's not easy when you want something really really bad and you just can't get it so it can make you feel a lot of things, mommy feels like it's her fault that the baby doesn't want to go in her tummy." You tried to finish explaining. 
"I'm sorry Mama." Lea apologized once more. "But even if you are broken mama I'll still love you the same, I'll even say it with my eyes if you want." Lea smiled imitating her dad by blinking her eyes I love you just like her dad used to do. 
This time your tears were of gratitude at feeling the love your daughter had for you, the simplicity with which her mind understood the situation and tried to make you feel better. "Thank you, baby." You hugged your daughter placing kisses on her cheek. 
Lea settled enough, feeling a little better at understanding why things had been a little weird at home lately. You watched her fall asleep. You took a deep breath ready to have a difficult conversation with your husband praying it might go a little similar to the conversation you had with your daughter. 
You walked out of their room and were surprised to find Max sitting outside, his back to the wall with his face in his hands. You could tell he'd been crying from the wet spots on his shirt and trousers. 
"Maxy." You fell to your knees beside him. 
Max pulled his hands away as you both wrapped your arms around each other at the same time. You both started crying in each other's arms, Max holding you tightly against him. 
"You're not broken, I never thought so either I just wanted you to talk to me." He whispered. "I love you so much and I'm sorry I ever let you doubt it, and I'm sorry for screaming at Ivy and Lea, I'm just- I'm so sorry for everything" Max cried tucking his face in the crook of your neck.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I felt so useless and frustrated I couldn't get pregnant. I know how long you've been trying to hold it together for us, for all of us and I shouldn't have ever let you carry all of it on your own. I'm sorry too for everything."  You also apologized. "I love you, Max, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you I just wanted to give us another baby." 
"I know." Max sighed pulling back and wiping tears from under your eyes with his thumbs. "Look I would love to have another baby with you, I'd have a 100 if it was with you but I'm so enamored by the family you've given me already, our girls...they're the best thing that have ever happened to me and if trying to have another baby is gonna cost us...us...than I don't want it." Max was honest. 
You nodded agreeing with his words. 
"It doesn't mean we stop trying, we can if that's what you want but I just want you back first, I need us to be okay before trying again okay?" He asked you. 
"Yeah." You agreed once more. 
Max rested his forehead against yours. You heard him take a deep breath. "God I missed you." he sighed before leaning down to place his lips against yours. 
You kissed him back harshly almost desperate to taste him again mentally questioning yourself how you were able to survive without this for as long as you did. "I love you," you whispered as you momentarily pulled away to catch your breath. 
But Max kept kissing you not wanting for this to stop, as if his body was trying to catch up on all the time he spent without your touch. "I love you." He whispered back scooping you into his lap, your legs wrapping around him as he stood up with you in his arms before taking you to your bedroom. 
Laying you down on your shared bed it once again felt right, being shared with him. Max was quick to get you naked, teasing you as he prepared you for him.
"I adore you." He whispered as he slipped into you. You'd be okay.
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