#vegetablesoap

[yjhariani]

You were in game, having your username called by one of the people who happened to be in your team. Well, it seemed like you were part of these people’s team since they sounded like they were friends already.

To be fair, you had been laughing in the past few minutes just listening to these guys talking to each other. It was not necessarily because they had been very tactical about this game as if they were actual soldiers in real life. It was mostly because they were being idiots while doing it.

The one who happened to be calling your username was vegetablesoap. The one named LieutenantGhost seemed to be pissed at him a lot. That was probably why the one named gaztronaut was wheezing nonstop.

Your username was called again when you had not responded.

“Sorry, I was finishing my laughing,” you said once you finally responded.

“Yeah, well, you have any more grenades?” vegetablesoap asked.

“Don’t give it to him. He’s gonna do something stupid,” LieutenantGhost chimed in.

“Negative. Saw a buncha tangos up in that building. Imma blow them up,” vegetablesoap said.

“I’m already inside the bloody building,” gaztronaut announced.

“Do you have a grenade?” vegetablesoap asked.

“No, Soap, I don’t have a grenade. I don’t need a grenade,” gaztronaut replied. “Why would I need a grenade?”

“To blow those bastards up,” vegetablesoap said.

Somehow that made gaztronaut laugh and his laugh got you laughing.

“Whoever you are,” LieutenantGhost said after addressing you, “I apologise for how immature my teammates are.”

“This is the most I laughed in a game,” you mentioned, half laughing.

“And you’re still winning,” vegetablesoap said. “You would’ve won better if you’re giving me that grenade I see on you.”

You looked around in the game, trying to find anyone around you.

“Behind you,” vegetablesoap informed. “No, a little to the left—my left. There—up… up a bit. There you go.”

You found a player scouting and standing up and scouting again before standing up on one of the balconies.

“Just reminding you,” LieutenantGhost said, “do not give him the grenade. I repeat, do not give Soap any grenade.”

“It’d be fun, though,” vegetablesoap reasoned, now moving towards your position.

“I will shoot you both if you give him the grenade,” LieutenantGhost warned.

“Then, Lieutenant’s winning,” you stated. 

“Calling him with his rank humanise him, don’t do that,” vegetablesoap quietly said, now standing very close to you in game.

“I can still hear you,” LieutenantGhost stated.

“He’s lying,” vegetablesoap said.

There was something about the way vegetablesoap said that that tickled the hell out of you.

“I mean, Ghost is in the name, I don’t doubt that he’s not human,” you said as quietly as vegetablesoap did.

“Oh, no, don’t take his side,” gaztronaut said.

“To be fair, he’s the only person in front of me right now and that seems to be the most effort of convincing me to take sides,” you said. “I might actually give him the grenade.”

“Yes!” vegetablesoap cheered.

“Fine, I’ll get to yea. Hold on to that grenade,” LieutenantGhost said. “Let me kill these bastards first.”

Just then, the number of players dropped a handful in number.

“Lieutenant, how many did you kill just now?” you asked.

“I’m involved,” gaztronaut said. “Six combined.”

“You did one thing, Gaz,” LieutenantGhost stated.

“That I’m good at!” gaztronaut pointed out. “Recon. And it gives you five kills in stealth that’s executed within a ten second window which the captain said is improbable.”

“There’s a captain?” you asked. “Is vegetablesoap the captain?”

“Yes, I am,” vegetablesoap said at the same time as the other two yelling, “No!”

“Is gaztronaut the captain?” you continued. “Or is the lieutenant secretly the captain?”

“No, there’s another person,” gaztronaut explained.

At this moment, two newly arrived players had stood before you. They were none other than gaztronaut and LieutenantGhost.

“You guys are really into this, huh?” you hummed.

There was a second of pause before the three piled on top of each other in defence of themselves.

“It’s not what you—”

“I mean, isn’t it clear already that we’re—”

“To be completely honest with you, I don’t—”

“—really think it is just—”

“You know what, I’m not explaining myse—”

“I’m really into anything, really.”

“Excuse me?!”

“This conversation is not going straight.”

“Neither are you.”

“Fair.”

Once they finished with a little more gibberish, they finally turned to you.

“So, about that grenade—”

“This grenade?” you asked, equipping the grenade into your hand.

“Do not give it to him. We almost won. I’m not letting Soap blow us up,” LieutenantGhost said.

“Oh, now I got an idea,” you said.

“Everyone, the zone’s closing and we’re on the edge,” gaztronaut informed. “We should run.”

“Do not blow us up,” LieutenantGhost insisted.

“We really should be going,” gaztronaut said.

With a grin on your face, you aimed up and let the grenade loose whilst everyone else was yelling about one thing and another.

“Did you just throw the fucking grenade?” LieutenantGhost questioned.

“Where is it?” gaztronaut said, abandoning his warning about the one closing in.

“I got the grenade!” vegetablesoap yelled.

Before you knew anything, the other two players were walking backwards into the zone that was closing in. It was already a tight alley that you were in and they started screaming about getting stuck. Meanwhile, vegetablesoap was laughing and you heard a character saying, ‘Fire in the hole!’.

The other two players were telling you to get out of here. You looked down and saw the grenade in front of you, in between you and vegetablesoap.

“What the—”

Before you could finish your sentence, the grenade went off and you were sent to the lobby immediately.

Soon, the three players joined you in the lobby, screaming and yelling at each other.

“This is exactly why we never win a game!” LieutenantGhost stated.

“Wait, you never won a game?” you asked.

“Never,” gaztronaut answered. 

“But you’re so good!” you whined.

“Every time we’re so close to winning, Soap would fuck us up,” gaztronaut explained.

“For fun! The important thing is we’re having fun,” vegetablesoap said.

“No!” LieutenantGhost said.

“But we’re playing another round, right?” vegetablesoap asked.

“Absolutely,” gaztronaut said.

“Just start the damn thing,” LieutenantGhost sighed.

“What the fuck?” was all you could say.

[tatyanab66]

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[biology225]

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[rosinaperfumery]

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[hic-sunt-monstra]

The second piece set featuring Hic Sunt Monstra with @mimiwild.it has the light beauty of Degas dancers and the scent of ginger and vanilla. Visit my website (link in bio) and grab one of the two special pieces I and Mimi made for this winter/Xmas! #hicsuntmonstra #handmade #handcraft #necklaces #pendants #handmadecabochon #specialset #specialevent #christmasevent #christmasiscoming #gifts #vegetablesoaps #box #woodbox #dancers #ecoprint #hicsntmonstrawebsite

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[bigcooktees]

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[naturalfrenchsoap]

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[tatyanab66]

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[tatyanab66]

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[tatyanab66]

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