#veeery long sorry
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pillarofna · 7 months ago
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alright! recap of the last 3 hours. tldr neighbor got arrested for five felony charges and almost killed her husband 👍
so. shes been getting bad the past few days (saying stuff like “i dont give a FUCK how you feel” and “i wish you would just drop dead” to her husband, that sort of thing) and apparently she had another violent outburst and she left the apartment. so i went over to talk to him and see what was up to see if he was ok (he has terminal heart failure so like. i wanted to check on him)
while im there suddenly theres a POUNDING on the door, non stop, really angry knocking over and over. he tries to say like “what do you want” to her through the door but she doesnt stop. he tells me “just open the door before she gets more violent and breaks a window” so im like you know yeah ok. im scared as fuck but yeah so she gets angry at me and tells me to leave im like Yep was planning on it 👍 but her husband told me he didnt feel safe alone with her.
she starts screaming at him saying a lot of really irrational things and hes just like “look, what can i do to make it so we can talk like adults” and that sets her off. by this point i was standing outside the door to their apartment (he was in the doorway) and hes just like “should i call the cops??” because we both have peaceful contact restraining orders and she was in a place where it was likely shed get physically violent. i tell him look if youre afraid for your safety (which with her history he had every right to be) then id call them. shes still screaming the whole time this is happening too
i pull up the number for the police dept just in case, and as im doing that she grabs him, throws him inside, and slams the door shut behind them and i hear loud thumps like someone being thrown against the wall. im already on the phone with dispatch at this point because she Has tried to kill him in the past, and i hear him screaming “DYLAN HELP ME! HELP!!!” like ive never heard him sound so fearful before. i tell dispatch “i have to go in there and see if hes ok” and they tell me to stay outside and stay on the line
they send someone out, i hear more thumping, i’m feeling terrible because it’s likely she’s beating the shit out of him (i know what that sounds like cuz ive seen her do it before.) and, after this was all over, he told me she slammed him into the wall, threw him on the ground, kicked him in the head, and then tried to strangle him with two hands (he had the marks around his neck, too). he said he almost passed out but thats when the police knocked and she answered the door and went outside and i heard her be all “why are you here i didnt do anything” and this whole time im texting her husband and calling him and not getting a response so i was genuinely worried she killed or seriously injured him.
so they start questioning her, she starts getting progressively more defensive and aggressive, and once she asks “can i talk to him?” the cops say no, and she starts SCREAMING. when i say i have never heard someone scream like this in my life…. it was awful. she was screaming at full volume just like a bloodcurdling scream, over and over and over for 20 minutes while the cops are trying to get her in the car. i hear the cops say “stop kicking” and “stop resisting arrest” over and over and she starts saying things like “FUCK YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH IM GOING TO KILL YOU IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU” to the cops…… anyway.
so! she was arrested for five felony counts. 1) domestic violence, 2) violation of a court restraining order, 3) resisting arrest, 4) criminal threat, and 5) harm to officers. and depending on the situation she might be charged for attempted murder.
i felt bad about calling the cops at first because i was like “what if she really didnt do anything” but knowing she tried to kill him… i feel worse that i didnt go inside when he screamed for help but i honestly now think she would have tried to hurt me too and it’s better i called when i did. especially since the only thing that saved his life was the police knocking on their door when they did.
sooo she’s going to be in prison for probably at LEAST ten years. maybe upwards of 25 depending on what they do charge her with…. my god. anyway that was my night :)
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mihai-florescu · 3 months ago
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And then tried to kill a highschooler for the same mouse (even though it was a cat that the highschooler only met like once or twice that killed the mouse)
And then they danced on that bloodied stage♡
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doubleedgemode · 7 months ago
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I guess I cannot shut up about the homunculus, huh? I call this one:
The Head(ache) Skeleton Key
Get it cause I'm gonna get a headache if I overthink this
So, I'm thinking about that old concept art ishiwatari made that had a.b.a's beta design, which, wasn't really that different, aside from her top having an x mark, her holding a sorta small ax and chewing on either a key shaped lollipop or a key (later concept art which I assume is after her design started to simmer shows the first option, but as we don't know if those are related, we can only speculate) but the big difference was... Paracelsus! He was a carbon copy of A.B.A's head key (no, before you ask, they didn't give her finalized key a skeleton design to homage betacelsus, both para and her key were supposed to be the same!) albeit with more detail.
Maybe this lore wasn't planned yet but... Yknow how in Strive interviews we learn Paracelsus taking on a key form was related to him trying to hold A.B.A's attention?
What if beta paracelsus straight up shapeshifted exactly into her head key as a stronger way to gain her trust? Let's be real, being born with that skeleton key, I theorize it's one of A.B.A's most consistent things about her enviroment. Whatever shit happens she has a skeleton shaped key in her noggin, always. (Though it seems to have changed a bit in strive, of course! But you could argue before all that the key was kept in place.. classic a.b.a's head key is rusty, I wonder if her creator just didn't care about her getting tetanus or it just actually deteriorated by not being well-kept :( )
That'd make paracelsus' shapeshifting more insidious... But of course we don't even know if betacelsus was even alive or just an idk demonic looking cool (inanimate?) Weapon. It's what I ASSUME to be very early concept art, not in the final product and, hell, if I understood well the strive interviews, the implication was that para's shapeshifting into a key isn't complete, so the "yeah by xx era he has perfectly shapeshifted into her skeleton key but upscaled" wouldn't work.
You thought the post was over? Nope! You get a buy one get 1 extra rambling free offer!
Part of me ponders if the skeleton key thing is a reference to.. actual skeleton keys! I'll paste their wikipedia definition so you know why that name:
A skeleton key (also known as a passkey[1]) is a type of master key in which the serrated edge has been removed in such a way that it can open numerous locks,[2] most commonly the warded lock. The term derives from the fact that the key has been reduced to its essential parts.[2]
As far as I've been able to find, japanese says a word translated as master key for master keys, but I haven't been able to find if the skeleton type is a thing in japanese or if it even shares the naming. However, I don't understand japanese (it was by translator) so please take my pondering about the existance of skeleton keys in said language with a mountain of salt.
But, even if that wasn't a term in japanese, whose to say the team didn't pull inspiration from an english term? Thought not the same situation, afaik, they've already chosen a bunch of terms from different languages for some gg topics. Maybe they didn't but it would be a fun coincidence!
A big part of me thinks maybe this isn't this deep and they just went with a beautiful (esp betacelsus with all the spine details) skeleton design cause.. Well, they are creepy which fits A.B.A's vibe pretty well, lol
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jitterbugbear · 1 year ago
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the move went great, tomorrow i'll go back and do the final cleaning and then i'm done!!! i'll probably start posting more art too, i already started a cute little plant drawing as a soft launch on getting back into the routine of daily drawing
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mwagneto · 3 months ago
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(the magneto anon back here again) ummm could you tell me... how did we independently picked up shadowhunters again at the same time.... tho I am reading the books (and it also means I'm never coming off anon because this is shameful) but still,this is very odd coincidence
HELP we got the shadowhunters curse at the same time lmaooo <3 but oh my GODDD the books😭😭 good luck to you genuinely....... I've only read them once all the way back in 2017 but they still haunt me💀 I'm lowkey curious what I'd think of them now that I'm 1) not a child 2) fluent in english but. i dont think i wanna do that to myself. i fr hope you have fun tho revisiting shit like this is always such an experience
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hobis-hope95 · 4 months ago
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Blessed by the Gods
fancast!Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!fem!reader
Summary: You, the only daughter of Amos Bracken, had just been offered away in marriage to a man much older than you, and in the hopes of having some peace and quiet for you to express your anguish towards the Gods that allowed this, you go to a place you found a couple months ago - a beautiful clearing with flowers scattered around and a weirwood tree in the middle. You knew it was risky, as you'd seen him there before, but in a moment of distraction Benjicot Blackwood found you and now you must suffer the consequences.
Warnings: 18+, enemies to lovers, a little fluf (veeery little), kinda dom x sub, swearing, hunting (it's basicaly it but I don't know if there's another term for it, when you read you'll know), smut, porn with (very) little plot, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, rough sex, breeding kink, praising kink.
Authors note: Heyy, so this is my very first time posting something I wrote (I do write a lot but mostly I get stuck and end up not finishing it) because I'm OBCESSED with Kieran Burton since I saw him in the goddamn teaser, plus I've been reading plenty of fanfics of him and two of them particularly inspired me for this (I'm sorry, I don't remember the names or the authors to tag them). Last but not least, English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
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You should hate him. You should’ve never been in that place, for you knew it was Blackwood territory, and should’ve heard him getting closer before. But you didn’t. You knew he went there frequently and if he saw you in the golden dress you wore in that particular place, he would definitely tell you to go back to your lands, but not without some provocation first. But that weirwood tree was so beautiful even if hidden in the middle of the woods, the flowers that bloom around it were so unique that you had to go there and admire them in a way to flee from the confinements of Stone Hedge. Or you told yourself that this was the reason you went there.
You found it the first time by accident. You had got lost in the woods, no track of a clearing nearby for you to situate yourself, when you saw the red leaves and decided to get near, for you knew that the weirwood roots extended long through the floor – making itself exclusive for a few yards in its radium – and you would be able to see the sky without the treetops being on your way. When you got there, though, the place was so gorgeous you could not leave right away.
After that, you tried to memorize as much of the path you could and return to that same place for moments of peace. That was until one day you heard footsteps – of one person it seemed – and you hushed to hide away. Moments later, hidden behind some bushes, you saw when no other than Benjicot Blackwood appeared through another end of the clearing where, you didn’t notice before, had a small trail that probably led straight to Raventree Hall.
Bloody Ben. Lord Blackwood. Lord of the house you were supposed to hate, and yet you found him so extremely gorgeous. You’d saw him only a few times. On Riverrun where your families sometimes were called by their Paramount Lord or near the stream that divided their lands, often arguing with your cousin in the company of a few others of his House and a few times you ended up being the victim, getting back home after slapping him across his face with his obscene remarks or just leaving after outsmarting the man – for the second you took much pride in.
On some of the times you’d been on the clearing you ended up having to hide when hearing his footsteps and waiting for him to leave before you could move. He’d mostly sit in one of the roots of the old tree and do whatever he felt like doing at the moment. You’d seen him reading, cleaning his sword, crafting some arrows and doing nothing at all, but he always stayed for about two hours before finally leaving.
Today however, probably because you were stressed with the news of your arranged marriage, you didn’t hear him getting close. When he saw your dress, the colour of your house shining through the rays of sunshine, a smirk crept in his face with the ideas he had in mind.
He knew it was wrong, hideous, the idea of wanting anything that came with the red stallion in a golden shield, your House’s coat of arms. He knew that from any woman he could want, you should not be a possibility. But with your hair that finished around your hips and a face that looked like a gift from the Gods, allied with your wits and challenging manner, he could not lie to himself that more than once he woke up in the middle of the night hot and bothered after a much-detailed dream about you – and eventually would handle his hardness with the thought of defiling you and making you his.
What he didn’t know, and you tried to deny it as much as you could, was that you also had conflicting thoughts about him. Since the first time you’d saw him in Riverrun, his face showing a mischievous glow with a smirk on his lips as your family entered the room, you fought with your own body as your heart raced and your cheeks burned in his presence. You hated the way he mocked your cousin and told you the lousiest of things, his lascivious expression making you hot and bothered as well, and you hated that every time you saw him, you knew that at the end of the day you would toss and turn for hours trying to erase his face from your mind.
You told yourself it was just because he was the only one who didn't walk on eggshells when talking to you – or anyone for that matter – and because you liked the challenge, but deep down you knew that your feelings for him were far from hatred, and the idea of trying to find out the true meaning of them scared you.
“Gods, have I done anything to anger you so that I’m faded to marry Forrester Frey? I would do anything, please!” You asked to the faced weirwood tree, knowing you’d have no answer but desperate enough to look like a crazy woman who talks to a tree by yourself. What you did not know was that someone did hear you.
Benjicot took his blade from his waist, taking extra care to not be heard, and when he got close enough to you, he acted quickly, one arm holding your body – your arms entrapped – and the one with the blade stopping on your neck.
“My, my, look what we have in here, a lost Bracken broodmare, far away from home” Her breath got caught up on her throat with the feeling of the cold blade on her skin and her heart jumped on her chest with his body pressed against her back and his voice so close to her ear “Good thing that I found you before any other predator did, huh?”
“Let me go, please!!” You pleaded, pure panic spilling from your voice, and Benji almost moaned – he had no idea that having you pressed against his body in panic would arouse him that much “Oh no, my darling, I could not do such a thing. You just committed a crime, you see, for you are far away from your father’s lands and what fair lord would I be if I do not punish criminals like you?”
“Please, I’ll vanish from your sight in less than a minute and no one will know about this, okay? Just please, let me go!!” Your eyes were burning with unshed tears with the thought of the possible punishment he had in mind, and you didn’t stay still, moving your body in an attempt to free yourself from him even if useless, as he was taller and way stronger.
“No, no, no, my darling, I could not possibly do that, your Bracken lord can play blind on your actions, but I am a serious ruler and punish all criminals as their crimes demand” He tightened his grip on your body, his fingers pressing harder against the clothed skin of your waist, and as he continually pressed on you, a warm feeling cursed through you until it reached in between your thighs “But what punishment would be enough? Thieves, who take things that don't belong to them, have their hands cut off. Murderers, who take lives that do not belong to them, pay with their own lives. Now you, who committed invasion of lands that don’t belong to you, what could I possibly do to punish you correctly?”
Once again you pleaded, ‘please’ sounding like a repeated prayer on your lips as he inhaled the sweet smell of your hair “I could not invade your father’s lands, or I would be committing a crime of my own” He stated as if he did not listen to your pleads and when he spoke again, his voice was huskier and low like a whisper “But I could invade your territory myself”
You hated yourself for how your body reacted to his words, your thighs squeezing together when you felt the heat on your lower belly grow, and hated even more that a side of you wanted him to go ahead with his threat full of mischievous intentions. Him, on the other hand, was more than pleased to hold you that way, his front fully in contact against your behind and his groin pressed against your back.
“Please, Benjicot, lord Blackwood, please” You repeated and started struggling even more when you felt his hard cock pressed against your back, trying to move away “Please, please! What, my lady, do you want me to do?” He mocked, repeating what you said in a higher pitch, as his hand with the knife left your throat and went to your hip “You want me to be gentle?”
Another wave of heat made you close your eyes for a second, a hard sigh leaving your lips and you didn’t answer. He laughed when he heard you “This is supposed to be a punishment, but I’ll make an exception if you behave” He said, his breath hot against your ear as the hand on your hip went further down and grabbed the skirt of your dress, pulling it up.
Your neck now free from the threat of his blade, an idea came to your mind. You were not sure if it would work, but it was your only hope, so you took it. Bending your head forward to gain some impulse, you took a deep breath – bracing yourself for the upcoming pain – and shook your head back with all your strength, hitting his head on the side.
Benjicot, surprised with what had just happened and with his head pulsating, faltered his grip on you long enough for you to get rid of his arm around you and start running, your head spinning and your vision still blurry from the blow. You felt and heard when the skirt of your dress ripped, before the other man’s hand lost its grip on the fabric, but you didn’t turn around to check the damage.
With your vision still recovering and the pulsing pain in your head, you headed to the woods, still not sure if you followed the right path, only caring about getting as far of him as possible. Benjicot, on the other hand, quickly recovered from the dizziness, the pain easily subsiding, and he growled before following you, euphoric and feeling his blood rush through his body straight to his cock with the expectation of hunting you down.
You ran as fast as you could, your breathing burning in your lungs and your legs aching, and tried to dodge the trees and bushes in your way. Even with all your efforts, you heard his steps and breathing not that far away, and fear crept inside you, being the one thing that prevented you from collapsing in that moment.
He knew those woods like his own chambers – losing track of how many times he went there to hunt, explore, have a moment of peace or take out his anger on the trees – and he had the advantage of being taller than you, his muscles trained for endurance in the battlefields, so even if you ran with all your strength, it would still be easy enough for him to reach you.
“Bracken!! Do not think you can run away from your punishment, you’re still on my lands” Your step became unsteady when his voice seemed closer than you imagined and after tripping over a tree root, you couldn't keep your balance, ending up falling with your body and arms protecting you from ending face first into the grass.
As you were turning to place your hands on the ground and help you stand, you heard a twig cracking right behind you and soon enough his voice made you turn your head “Poor mare, doesn’t know her way home, but don’t worry, I’ll show you when I finish your punishment if you want”
You tried to turn yourself so you could stand back up, but before you could do anything, he caught your ankle and pulled you closer, turning you to face him “No, no my darling, you’re not escaping me again, now come here, the quicker it starts, the quicker it finishes, if you want... or you could just enjoy it”
“No, no, no!!” You repeated like a prayer and when he positioned himself between your legs, you started to punch and scratch at his chest, face and arms “Calm down, I think I was mistaken, for you are not a mare but a kitten, but no need to show your claws. I know I said that I would be gentle if you behaved and you didn’t, but I do have a soft spot for beautiful girls like you”
Quickly enough, as if your efforts meant nothing, Benjicot grabbed both your wrists and held them above your head, leaning his body closer to yours – his groin pressing against the middle of your thighs and his mouth just a few inches away, his breath hitting your face.
“You know what surprised me about your behaviour just now?” He asked, looking at your eyes, before he kissed your jaw and a hand went to your ankle “Because every time I see you, be in the Tully’s assize or the boundary, you are always looking at me so needy that makes me want to fuck you right there”
He left open-mouthed kisses through your neck as you felt the hairs on your nape stand and his hand began to move up your leg through the fabric of your dress “So why now are you pretending you do not want this?” He moved his hips forward, his hardness pressing against your clothed folds, and you didn’t have the strength to hold a moan.
“Be-because I don’t! You Blackwoods are just so ugly that I’m surprised to see something like that in the middle of a crowd” You spat, trying to regain some of your pride, but he chuckled, lifting his head with a smirk.
“Act all you can, kitten, but that moan just annulled everything you said, you know” His hand now was in your inner thigh and as he stopped talking, his calloused fingers went straight to your folds. You bit the inside of your cheeks to hold your voice and furrowed your brows, but he still looked almost amused at your efforts.
“Fuck you” You twisted in his grip but could not move enough to escape his touch and he took the chance to move his index finger through your folds, watching as you closed your eyes and your hips grounded into his touch “Oh, my lady, deny it as much as you want, but your body will remain true to its desires”
His smirk grew wider, his tongue sliding through his teeth, as his thumb found your clit and he watched in pleasure as you clenched your jaw and your legs opened wider for him. He circled your bundle of nerves with his thumb while his middle finger slid down your folds, reaching your entrance, and didn’t waste the opportunity to shove his finger inside you to the point where only his last knuckle was visible outside.
You moaned loudly, having been caught off guard, and your walls tightened around his finger “Fuck, you’re so tight, it’ll feel delicious around my cock” Benjicot started moving his finger, almost completely withdrawing before plunging it back inside, while still rubbing his thumb through your clit, and soon enough you were a mess, your thoughts fogged with the pleasure his hand was giving you.
You didn’t even notice when his hand let go of your wrists, too caught up on the feeling of his finger inside you and his pace growing faster by the second, as you fought against the undeniable pleasure you were feeling, and when he curled up his digit inside you, the thin string of pride you hung yourself by collapsed, giving in to the urge of your feelings and enjoy as he claimed you.
“M-more, please” You whispered, completely giving in to the ache of your heart. That was why you could not stray your eyes from him at every assize, that was why you would walk too close to the boundary and why you would come all the way from Stone Hedge to that specific clearing with that specific weirwood tree.
Your heart wanted him and there was no denying it, not anymore, not when his middle finger curled inside you so deliciously that made you see stars through your eyelids and not when you caught a glimpse of him and he looked at you like a starved man “Say again, kitten? I didn’t hear you” He teased, thinking you had yet again tried to deny your wishes.
“More, please, Benjicot” You said before you moaned again, your eyes fully opening now with your brows furrowed in pleasure, and for a second he wished he had a portrait painted of you like this. He pushed another finger inside, his pace now relentless with his cock throbbing through his breeches, and with his free hand he grasped the front of your dress, tearing the fabric to expose your full breasts.
“Stopped putting up a fight now, kitten? But this is not a treat, this is a punishment” He said as he curled both his fingers inside you once again before completely withdrawing from your wet cunt. He lifted the fingers that were on you seconds ago and looked at them, making a disapproving sound with his tongue “Just look at that, look at the mess you made on my fingers, huh?”
He tapped at your lower lip with his wet fingers, the smell of yourself arousing you even more “Now be a good girl and open up” And you did as he said. You closed your lips around his fingers as you felt them press at your tongue and moaned as you tasted yourself “Clean them”
You ignored the smug smirk on his lips, knowing he was enjoying bossing you around more than anything, and hollowed your cheeks sucking on his calloused digits. Now it was his turn to let out a pleased groan and when you looked at his eyes his pupils were blown, his irises darker, what almost made you moan on his fingers again.
“I’ve heard you back there by the weirwood tree, your cunt of a father wants to sell you to that old Frey?” Benjicot retreated his fingers from your mouth and ran them down your chin, your saliva running through your skin as he slowly traced a way through your neck and collarbones until he reached one of your breasts, both his digits circling your already pointy nipple as he watched your velvety skin under his touch, his smirk had gone away from his face “That old dog deserves not even a piece of you”
You felt your heart skip a beat with his words, trying not to conclude anything for he had not confirmed yet “But soon enough he won’t be a problem, don’t worry kitten” He twisted your nipple between his index and thumb, trying to calm down his anger with the thought of Forrester Frey being anywhere near you, before you asked “How?”
“Because after I finish with your punishment, no man will take you as their wife” He pinched your nipple and you moaned again, the threat mixed with his ministrations and the dark expression in his face being almost too much.
The Blackwood lord moved his other hand to the laces of his breeches, undoing them while still stimulating your breast, and your breath hitched on your throat as you looked down, fixed on his slender fingers dealing with the strings, seeing as it became loose around his hips before he had to let go of your breast to get rid of the fabric that covered his lower part.
As he took off his breeches he came back to his position between your legs, your thighs on top of his, and his smirk placed itself back on his face as he watched your eyes widen with the sight of his bare hard cock.
“You’re- this is-, you are so big” You let out, shock and want on your face as he pushed your dress up, revealing your glistening cunt to him “I know, kitten, but do not worry, it will fit” You lifted your gaze from his hips to his eyes, finding him already staring back at you, and all you could think was that you wanted him more than anything in the world.
He placed both hands on your hips, bringing you closer, and grabbed him in his hand to slide through your folds, collecting as much of your juices as he could. He wanted you, desperately, he wanted to completely fill you with his length and fuck you mercilessly until all he heard was your screams of pleasure, he wanted to ruin you to any other man and to have only you for the rest of his fucking life.
And so, with the promise of punishing you in his head, he shoved his cock all the way inside you in one thrust, leaving you gasping, your mouth opened and your eyes closed, the stretch and pain of your first time almost bringing you to tears. He had never experienced something like this before – as his previous experiences had been with whores – and didn’t even dare to move, your cunt gripping him so tightly he thought that if he moved at that moment he would cum on the spot.
As he noticed your eyes closed, he pinched your nipple “Open your eyes, kitten, I want to look at your beautiful eyes” You sighed before opening them and when you did, he noticed the tears you tried not to spill. That made something snap inside him, breaking all the will he had to hurt and punish you, and he bended down to meet your face, his breath on your face and his eyes on your lips.
“As soon as I saw you there, next to the weirwood tree, all I wanted to do was to hurt you, make you regret stepping on Blackwood territory on that golden dress of yours, but it’s rather difficult to focus with that pretty face” One of his forearms was keeping him steady as his free hand came to your breasts, the feeling of your soft skin on his calloused fingers almost making him moan “Go on, tell me how you hate me, fight me, tell me how you are disgusted by me, so I can focus on punishing you”
A moan. You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but all you could do was moan and it went straight to his cock, throbbing inside your warm and tight walls, still not moving. As he glanced up, he met your teary eyes and opened mouth in an erotic portrait, he growled as he let go of the rest of his resistance and crashed his lips against yours in a desperate kiss. As your mouth was already agape when he did it, his tongue easily slipped inside and found yours, and you reached for the back of his head, your fingers curling on his black hair.
As he kissed you hungrily, he started moving, his cock almost leaving you entirely before pushing himself back inside, and the sensation of being full of him was so good that you could not control your moans. As he felt the vibrations coming from your mouth, Benjicot squeezed your breast hard and you were sure that would leave a mark – but you couldn’t care less.
As his pace grew a little faster, the pure pleasure replacing the pain of the stretch each time his hips met yours, he let go of your lips, glaring at your face with the squirms and sighs you let out. Even if his dreams were vivid, nothing would compare to having you like this – a mess of fabric, hair and red bruised lips – at the moment, the feeling of your walls always so tight around him and your soft skin on his hand made him grunt.
Your eyes went to his on that exact moment and you could swear that your walls squeezed around him at the sound. He placed his face on the crook of your neck as he started biting and placing kisses to the skin as a way to mark you, and started going down through your collarbone to the front of your chest before placing his lips to the nipple that wasn’t being stimulated.
The wet noises of skin slapping against skin and the feeling of both your nipples being teased made your eyes roll back in pleasure and now you didn’t even try to muffle your sounds anymore “Such a noisy kitten, taking me so well” He praised, lifting his head from your chest, and held your hips with both his hands, so strong that you now worried that you’d get bruises all over your body “You should be mine and not that Frey cunt”
With his firm grip on your hips, he pressed deeper into you, your back arching from the ground and trying to keep up with his movements “Please... Benji” Two of the only three words that you could pronounce at the moment – the third one being more – too caught up with pleasure to form a coherent phrase, and Benji laughed at that, full of pride for making the so beautiful and correct daughter of Amos Bracken look like a common whore “Do you want to be mine, kitten? Mine to fuck and use as I please?”
His words aroused you even more, his hoarse voice sending waves of heat straight to your cunt, and you tried to nod your head in affirmation, because that seemed like the only thing you could do at the moment “Use your words, kitten, I know you can do it” He moved one of his hands so he could brush past your clit and that made you gasp.
“Y-yes please, I want you, I want you Benji” As she nearly screamed, the man felt satisfied, his hunger for you only getting bigger with the way you moved your hips in time with his, your face making the most erotic expressions as your moans and repeated words sounded like an exclusive prayer for him.
“I’m going to fuck a baby in you, fill you with my seed so much you’ll be leaking for days, so your bloody father won’t have an excuse but to marry you to me” He grunted in between his words, moving faster and deeper as he assaulted your clit, and you started feeling a knot form inside of you, the pleasure becoming almost too much “Please, please” You didn’t even know what you were begging for, but only wanting this to never end.
“Yeah? Do you want to be my wife? To have your Bracken womb filled with Blackwood children? Your cunt to be used by a Blackwood cock? Is that what you want?” He leaned in, one of his hand still giving you pleasure, his head once again going to the crook of your neck as he grasped at your thigh, squeezing the flesh as he moved you so you could wrap your leg around his waist, and he heard you when you weakly repeated “Yesyesyes”
“So I’ll make sure you get until the last drop of my seed to, soon enough, you be swelling with my babe” He whispered into your ear as he pressed further to your clit and his pace soon enough was so fast you thought he would break you. Your moans got louder as you wrapped both your legs around his waist, the knot on your lower abdomen about to snap, and he looked at you before whispering “Go on, cum for me, kitten”
And that’s when it happened. The knot snapped within you as you flooded with pleasure, your whole body spasming as your walls grew impossibly tighter around him, milking him, and with just a few more thrusts he shoved himself as deep as he could inside you before he shot his load straight to your core, coating your womb. As he started coming down from his high, he captured your lips in a sloppy kiss and let most of his weight on top of you, which you didn’t care as his warmth and his skin on yours was all you wanted at the moment.
You let out a dissatisfied grunt as he removed his softening cock from your cunt, some of his seed spilling from you, and lied to your side, pulling you to his embrace “Did you really mean it? Marrying me?”
“Yes” You said, the warmth spreading across your face “Well, you filled me with your seed and the possibility of me getting pregnant is almost certain now. Marrying you is the right thing to do” You tried to be cautious with your words, but for the love of the Gods, he had just fucked you in the middle of the woods, caution was one thing you had abandoned long ago “Okay, I admit that since I first saw you in the assize I haven’t been able to remove you from my thoughts and I dreaded the day that the news of your possible engagement would come.”
You took a breath before finishing “We have nothing to do with each other, our families fucking hate one another, but every time I got inside Riverrun fortress, I hoped you’d be there” You said, absently moving your fingers through the skin of his chest, but did not dare to meet his gaze, for you were now as embarrassed as you could be.
“I am glad to hear that, for I have almost the exact same feelings as you. I ached for being able to get closer to you at the assize and to kiss you when I saw you standing next to the boundary. I almost went to Kermit Tully to ask him to propose a betrothal between us” He answered, his hand on the back of your head caressing through your hair. You lifted your head from his chest, his words making your heart flutter, and he leaned his head to capture your lips in a soft kiss, both your and his feelings pouring down into each other.
“But I must stop you from going straight to my father, for he would kill you before you would be able to ask to see him” One of your hands went to his cheek as you parted to breathe, only now noticing you left nail marks there, and stroke his skin.
“Oh, I do know that, for I would never take you back to Stone Hedge with your dress like this” He laughed when he saw your eyes widen at his words, remembering now of the tore skirt and bust of your dress, and quickly added “I’ll give you my cloak and we’ll go to Raventree Hall for you to change, after that we’ll go straight to Riverrun and ask Lord Tully to bless our union, for your father would never go against an order of his Lord Paramount”
“That sounds like a solid plan, not that bad for a Blackwood” You teased and he smirked “And you were not that bad for a Bracken” You gasped in false shock at his words, lightly slapping his shoulder, and he laughed “It will surely be good to have you as my wife, a good way to keep things interesting”
“I hope so, you Blackwoods are not usually that fun though” You bit your lower lip as you’d seen him arch his brows “Well, it depends on what fun you’re talking about, because at least in one kind of ‘fun’ I exceed expectations and you just proved it right”
"Shut up!" You exclaimed and he turned you again before kissing you.
“Don’t need to ask twice, my lady” He said and you kissed him again.
It could have not been the way you expected it to go, but one thing you could say: the Gods did grant you a way to free yourself from a marriage with someone twice your age, still uniting two people together, in hopes of a prosperous – and maybe more peaceful – future ahead.
So that's it! As I wrote it mainly for the smut part (oh god, what a good first impression) the plot part may be a little off, I'm sorry. Please, feel free to leave a note if you guys liked it and maybe soon I post another, a series this time.
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star-sim · 10 months ago
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your lips, my lips, apocalypse ☆ heeseung lee
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☆ non-idol! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: sex, love, and romance tasted like poison on your tongue, a secret that you held close to yourself for years. unfortunately, when heeseung kisses you, he, too, could taste that poison. ☆ genre: hurt/comfort, angst, veeery suggestive but no smut, implied college! au, unclear relationship status but can be viewed as friends to lovers ☆ warning(s)? implied s*xual abuse, hypersexuality as a coping mechanism, if youre not comfy with these topics don't read! ☆ word count: 2.0k ☆ atp im just writing my entire playlist... based off of apocalypse by cigarettes after sex <3
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Heeseung should have known the moment that your first instinct was to lower your head in shame and unbutton your shirt, revealing your lacy undergarments and bare skin, because you thought your then-boyfriend was angry at you.
He should have seen the signs when you had no problem shoving your tongue down every team captain's throat for everyone to see, but danced around the topic of sex, shifting uncomfortably in your seat as you clutched onto his sleeve.
He should have noticed the way you changed, how you slowly showed more and more skin, yet said less and less, shrinking into yourself whenever a pair of eyes glazed over you, almost like you were afraid.
But most of all, Heeseung should have known the moment that you attacked him with your lips, hungrily kissing him like a starved hyena.
He hated himself for realizing so late into the night. 
There the two of you were, sprawled across your bed. You had your back flat against the soft, white sheets, your bare skin so pretty under the warm light. Heeseung, shirtless in his own right, hovered over you, admiring you.
Both of you were breathless, lips swollen and eyes blown out as you ached for each other, spending the last hour teasing each other.
What started as a calm night with his dear friend became an impromptu makeout session, that then became the two of you half naked in your bedroom.
The first sign should have been how you faltered at Heeseung's mindless mention of his love-life, the way your expression pinched briefly. You let out a few sad words, yet your tone was so happy that Heeseung didn't notice the way your brows furrowed, sinking your teeth into your lips pensively. 
The second sign should have been the cloudy glaze over your eyes the moment Heeseung's hand accidentally brushed up against your thigh, and more importantly, the way your eyes were glued to his hand as he pulled it away, a small "sorry"falling from his lips.
The third sign was the way that you paused for a moment, giving him a confused look after you crawled on top of him, your lips attached to his neck. Heeseung's hand ghosted over your hips and waist, asking breathlessly, "Can I touch you here?" 
This should have been the nail in the coffin, the way you looked so quizzical just because he asked permission to touch you.
But now as Heeseung pinned you under him, his large, doe eyes gazing down at yours, he felt his heart pound. You looked so beautiful. The sight of you under him was something that he could only dream of, but now that you were right in front of him, Heeseung felt dizzy.
All these years, he'd been waiting for his moment— to be so close and intimate with you, you who he never really escaped from.
Heeseung could feel the warmth of your skin against his, the feeling being so delicious that he wanted to bask in it forever.
As his long fingers slithered down to the hem of your panties, dipping into them, Heeseung watched your face. 
Your head was thrown back, gazing up at him like he was a god. Your pretty lips were wet and parted, sucking in sharp breaths and letting out small sighs as Heeseung worked on you.
But what made Heeseung falter was the look in your eye.
He'd always known you to be bright-eyed; it was within your eyes that he could see the universe unfold before him, without a single speck of dust obstructing it.
But this time, your eyes told something different.
Earlier, they were filled with excitement and desire. But now, they were dull; storm clouds shrouded the sky that was your eyes, shedding a murky and foggy cast that was so dark that it bled onto the rest of your face.
Heeseung was no stranger to your past.
It was no secret that you had many sexual partners, almost to the point of being rumored to be a 'whore' or 'slut.'
Heeseung didn't know for sure, but he was perceptive enough to understand the link between the older boy that you dated for years in high school who was known for preying on younger girls, and your transition into being more sexually-charged. He had a feeling that your sudden change into being more sexual had something to do with the predatory nature of your relationship back then.
All this time, you'd told him that you were okay, that you'd moved on and did things because you wanted to do it, that you were no longer haunted by the memory of your sexually abusive ex-boyfriend from when you were seventeen years old.
But Heeseung could read you better than he knew.
From your eyes, he could tell that you were desperate.
Not desperate for sexual gratification or pleasure.
Not desperate to be touched.
Not desperate to be satiated by some sort of sexual hunger.
No, you were desperate to be healed, desperate to be held.
Of course. You were turning to sex to fix your problems. You were finding value in relationships and yourself through sex. 
You didn't want to have sex with him.
Slowly, Heeseung removed his hands from you, pulling up your panties and getting up to find your shirt. Without a word, he slipped your shirt back onto you, his hand fixing your disheveled hair.
Sensing that something was wrong, you gently grabbed his face, pressing your lips against his. For a second, Heeseung forgot everything, only relishing in the way that your lips felt. His body was begging him to relieve him of his desire. Atlas wanted you. Oh, he wanted you so bad. He wanted you selfishly.
But Heeseung wasn’t going to have sex with someone that didn’t want it.
“No,” he mumbled against your lips as he tried to pull away. “[Name]-”
You only pulled him closer by the shoulders, squeezing them. Your lips were now crashing against his aggressively and with a passion that felt artificial. “[N-Name],” he tried to pull away. “No.”
“I just—” you said in-between kisses, “I just really want you.”
Heeseung could have easily pushed you away, given your strength difference. But he refused to hurt you. With a firm jerk, he was able to get himself free of your grip.
"I can't do this with you," was all he said.
You looked like you were about to cry. Heeseung felt a pang in his chest, but all he did was shake his head. Heeseung silently got off of you, finding his pants on the floor and slipping back into them. He went to your bathroom to get a warm wet cloth to clean your wet thighs up, his hands gently grasping your skin as if you'd fall apart if he was too rough.
Just as Heeseung was about to throw the towel into your hamper, you grasped onto his bicep, digging your nails into it. You looked up at him with tearful eyes, your brows knit together as you began to sniffle.
"I-I'm sorry," you whimpered. "Did I do something wrong? A-Are you mad at me?"
Heeseung immediately tossed the wet cloth aside somewhere on your bedroom floor.
"What are you talking about?" He wrapped his arms around you, pulling your head to your chest, feeling your tears stain his bare chest. When Heeseung pecked your forehead, you wailed even harder, your arms coming up to pull him closer to you, holding him like he'd save you. "Why would I be mad at you?
"W-Why don't you want to h-have sex with me then?" you shakily choked out. "Am I— Am I not good enough?"
"No," Heeseung's eyebrows crashed together, his eyes narrowing. His words were serious, but his voice was soft, as soft as a feather for your delicate ears. "I could tell that you didn't want it, Baby. I would never get mad at you for that. I hope you know that."
The sound of your sobs must have been the worst thing that Heeseung had ever heard in his life. He didn't like it one bit. Those hot tears were tiny droplets of all the pain and abuse that you've suffered from. 
"I'm s-sorry," you whimpered. "I-I'm s-sorry."
What did they do to you? What have they done to you that you apologized so much?
Heeseung clenched his fists. His chest burned with a different type of anger, an anger that was so great that it was overwhelming, eating Heeseung alive and chewing him into dust. He'd kill them, he'd kill the son of the bitch that hurt you so much like this with his bare hands.
"Fuck," Heeseung cursed under his breath. In a single movement, Heeseung hoisted the both of you up, so that you were on top of him, your head rested on his chest. As tears spilled from your eyes, clinging to Heeseung, he petted your head. 
Heeseung was warm, warm in a way that you couldn’t describe. You wanted to fall into him, let your eyelids flutter down peacefully, and relish in what was his essence. 
You felt apologies prickle the tip of your tongue. After all, other than letting others use your body, saying sorry was the only other thing you knew how to do. You felt weak, helpless, like a wet dog at the mercy of its owner, yet you felt more sorry for Heeseung, who was now stuck with you. 
“S-Sorry—“
“Shhh,” Heeseung whispered into your ear. “Don’t apologize, Baby.”
“But—“
Heeseung hushed you. 
When your breath didn’t slow, in fact speeding up to the point that you were huffing in quick breaths and pushing out even shallower ones from your chest, Heeseung grabbed your hands. 
It felt like the entire world was crashing down into your shoulders, hitting you all at once. Everything hurt, your body was trembling yet you couldn’t feel anything. You should be okay, right? After every one-night stand or sexual partner that inevitably used you like a doll, you were always left alone and cold. You experienced this exactly, and you’ve dealt with it every time alone. You can do it again, right? If you’ve been alone all this time, you can deal with it this time alone, too—
“Hey.” 
Heeseung’s voice forced you out of your head.
“Hey,” he repeated, rubbing circles on your back. “Breathe.”
You swallowed down the sob that threatened to spill out. “I’m o-okay.”
“You aren’t,” he said simply. “I know you aren’t.”
You shook your head, pulling away from him. You wanted to shrink back into his warmth, to be sucked back into the paradise that was the comfort that was Heeseung, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You were scared.
Why would he want to be around you? Why would he even want to have a burden of a person like you to hold? You were a mess, a wreck that had too many problems to count. You were unlovable, broken, fragmented and with missing parts because of all the men that have robbed you of your identity, your autonomy, your ability to love, and—
To your surprise, Heeseung simply pulled you back in. His hands gently slinked to your wrists, pulling you back into him. Your mind told you to run away and hide, but instinctively, you melted into him.
“Let me take care of you,” Heeseung said. His voice was calm, light on your ears in a way that made your heart ache. He took your hand again, squeezing it. “I don’t care what you say, I’m not leaving you.”
“Please d-don’t,” you whispered back, so softly that your voice was barely audible. “Don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” was all Heeseung said. “You can count on it. I won’t.”
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jespardon · 4 months ago
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wwhat are youre thoughts on sniperspy hypnokink. asking for a friend
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Anon im so sorry that i've been sitting on your ask for so long but you have no idea the snowball of events you caused with this ask.
Prepare for some veeery nice things ahead :3cc
Edit : Part 1 here !
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bigbadvoxbox · 10 months ago
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ALR LEMME TWEAK MY VOX X SUB!READER SMUT RQ-
my lame ass excuse for a plot: Being bratty and annoying vox during working hours, like constantly pestering him for 0 reason and eventually he gets fed up with your shenanigans and snaps (insert whatever happens nex here)
SOUNDS HOT i'm up for it
gonna put it into bullet points to help me get it all goin cus longer stuff ain't my strong suit and i'm already workin on two longer fics
warnings: smut. spanking. reader is a goddamn brat. edging. punishment. unprotected sex (don't do this).
- "Voooox. I'm bored. Can we hang out?"
"No, I told you. I'm busy. So why don't you go keep yourself entertained while I work." Vox insisted, beginning to grow frustrated with your antics. You, however, were having none of it.
- Taking his phone out of his hand and tossing it aside, trying to get his attention, only for him to take a deep breath through clenched teeth as he veeery gently redirected you to go somewhere else, picking his phone back up. He was starting to lose his cool now.
- Sitting nearby, continuing to whine and complain about how bored you are, noticing his eye begin to twitch, before half his face is beginning to actually glitch with pure frustration.
- Eventually, he loses it, and gets up from his chair to grab you by the collar, pulling you to his desk and bending you over it.
"If you can't help but be so fucking bothersome, then I guess I'll just have to deal with you."
- His voice takes on the static effect when he's getting really riled up. And it's the sexiest fucking thing ever.
- It starts off with spanking, his sharp hands catching on your skin, making the flesh bloom a rosy shade of red. He soothingly rubs your ass after each spank, even though you both know his pity and care are fake. He's mocking you.
"Awh, poor girl. Did that hurt? Good."
- Before long, his fingers are inside you. He isn't too careful, since this is your punishment for bothering him while he works, for being such a goddamn little brat. but he isn't heartless. he knows you can't take him without some preparation.
- His fingers pick up the pace until you're just almost there, right on that edge of bliss, and then he stops.
- He lets you come down from the close edge, before replacing his fingers with his cock (and what a cock it is).
- He's got you bent over his desk, holding your head down against it as he fucks you so hard the desk's legs scrape across the floor a little.
- "Is this entertaining enough for you? Good enough for a little fucking whore like you?"
- It isn't until your hole feels raw and your body feels like it's on fire that he begins to settle down, letting you cum, and pulling out. He watches with a satisfied smirk at the mixture of yours and his cum that drips down your thigh.
- "Can I finish my work now? Yeah? Good girl."
Sorry I know it's a little short but I hope you like it!
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late-draft · 5 months ago
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Hello, Dema here!
First off—I have fallen desperately in love with your artworks. You have a very particular style, strong and fluid all the same, and I can't help but admire the way you draw and how you approach character design.
And talking about character design...
I saw your post about Zuko's bold design in S1 when compared to what we got in S3 and—as much as I love S3-Zuko—I completely agree with you. Something I've always loved about Zuko in S1 is just how striking he was, how much of a presence he had, even when he was being tossed around by a twelve-year-old. That being said, I love Zuko, I love him in armor and pointy shoes and with a ponytail, and I loved your alternative design for him.
What do you think about his S2 character design? How does it flow with the story beats and his overall character arc? Much has been said about the Hair-Growth-Means-Character-Growth (and I find it interesting, also, that he cut his hair again before joining the Gaang), but I'd like to know your opinion on how that translates to character design and how the decisions made in the show could be either good or bad in that regard.
Sorry about the long ask! I've just been thinking about this a lot, lately, and would like to know what you think. Hope you have a good day ❤️
AAAA Dema hii!!! I'm so happy I got a message from you, I didn't expect it!!
I'm super glad to hear, I'll wear it as a badge of honour and I must tell you that I also love your art, you wonderfully do volume and the shading done through a contrast of sharp and soft areas! Super solid anatomy too and I'd be lying if I said I didn't look up to your art!
Yess the character designs in the show actually are rather strong, I like a good balance between memorable and functional. Zuko is just *chef kiss* but, considering just how many appearance changes he goes through, some are bound to be weaker than the starting one. That said, I'm gonna go through a few of his S2 looks and make this reply long, ha!
The starting one when he ends up huddling with uncle Iroh with other poor refugees, fits extremely well for the narrative at the moment. It's actually one of my least liked looks for him, and that's great!! It's precisely how it should be, because he's also arguably at one of his two lowest moral points in the story - he basically lost almost all hope, no clear goal, nothing to fight for, he's desperate precisely because of the lack of orientation and thus his morals degrade and sink veeery low. He gets on my nerves so goddamn much in this period LMAO I want to beat him up, he looks like a recovering drug addict... annoying, entitled whiny jerk stealing food and anything shiny for his uncle, but even then he just does not cross the moral event horizon. Excellent characterization. He just looks atrocious and it's great because it fits this low point.
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Next he gets the standard boyish square of a hair, no notes here...
But theeeen, he arrives at one of my favourite looks of his, and it's not just because the clothes fit him very nicely (I've seen fandom say they look too big for him which, maybe?? But it doesn't look like he's swimming in them to me) And a thing I've noticed which, maybe it was just an accident on design part but I'm not sure considering they colour coded the entire cave scene; in this part his clothes match the shape of Katara's, first one in bottom then the one in top. The collar is the same haf-circle design but I don't know, maybe there was a limited pool of clothes designs guide which they cycled through. Or, he really is meant to come close but miss Katara by a beat, like sine and cosine chasing each other.
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But besides this outfit fitting the inconspicuous Earth Kingdom customer service persona, it also (perhaps inadvertently) does this VERY cool thing:
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It makes his shape look closed off and guarded, supposedly non-threatening. It's most visible in his fight against Jet, whose shape is open and goes in many directions like an aggressive star. But then look at what Zuko's shape does:
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When he attacks, it opens up to reveal the hidden aspect, again the aggressive star shape shows up! The same thing happens in "Zuko alone" episode but I think it's most clearly visible in this fight against Jet because here he has a direct contrast and comparing with Jet. I think this is an example where the outfit, whose similar design exists irl, overlaps with a great visual metaphor and enhances the narrative at that moment in story. He's still that combative firebender but he has to keep that aspect concealed most of the time. Plus it just looks badass as hell!!
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Animators really knocked it out of the park with many frames. I think Jun was too early and missed his better hairstyle, but Katara was just in time.
I agree it's super funny how his hair in the Beach is awfully long, covers his face to an uncomfortable degree and then he apparently shortens it before joining the Gaang, insane behaviour Truly an "I'm so angry and depressed I won't show my face nor be capable of seeing anything because there's nothing nice to see in my life" look...
I guess all his appearances in S2 cover his mental states, but only one of them is extremely Extra (the tea server, doesn't even take the apron off and goes to fight) and I don't see any spot where a similar tier design could be shoved in, narratively speaking. So all in all, S2 did as much as S2 could have. More tea server arc please though, the Guru episode really feels like it skipped 800 km of plot and everything that happened in it is so crammed and pretty sus in terms of character behaviour.
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delululand · 1 year ago
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txt ideal type (and what are they like in a relationship?)
don't take it too seriously, these are just my observations based on analysis of their words, interviews and behavior in general
p.s. i lived in Korea for a few months and it gave me some impressions too
soobin
he often said that he like cute type of beauty and he don’t like too sexy type like yeonjun hahaha
and even if it’s not 100% true, i think he really prefer more cute than sexy girl kind of innocent vibe, aegyo and all like that, but more sociable than he
he natural shy, introvert and doesn't look like someone who would be active in relationships? he himself said that he doesn’t like it when he has to choose or decide something, so I think he would like a sweet, but despite this, a girl who can be active and take initiative? oh guys i’m sorry I just immediately imagine that type of girls in Korea, they look veeery very cute, but they rule their boyfriends with an iron hand hahaha not like a bad way but their boys listen to them well
overall he seems like someone who is easy to get along with but not so easy to get close to? like yeah, he'll be nice, but you won't be best friends right away. so I really see him in the friends-lovers trope, maybe even after a few years
yeonjun
oh that guy it’s opposite
I think he would, on the contrary, like a very bright, noticeable, socially active girl with sexy vibe
he’s himself very sociable and sometimes he can be a natural flirt? like he doesn't do it intentionally, but he literally communicates this way so I think he would like a girl who could accept it? I was in such a relationship and I really see him in something similar, like he doesn’t have the goal of offending or hurting his girlfriend with his behavior, but this happens every time and there are only two options, he’ll date a girl who will don't be jealous or it will hurt them both
however, he is very gentle in relationships, very caring and I think he would really do a lot for his partner
I would say he is one of the most caring members, he is always worried about their health, even that situation in one of the to do episodes when Kai fell from laughing from his chair and while everyone was laughing, yeonjun was the only one who stood up and holding kay’s head helping him rise up from the floor with the words “hey your head, head, be careful. everything is fine?"
beomgyu
ohhh guys i know he often has a reputation as a clown, but behind this he actually hides a lot
firstly we know that he is an introvert and all the members said that he usually sits at home alone and is not very active outside of filming and even in last live he said how much he likes be home and hate go outside
secondly, if you pay attention to how he seriously talks about relationships, about love, about partnership it’s always 🥺😭 boy is sooo soft and gentle plus how he treats taehyung…
this may sound obvious, but I think he would like a gentle, caring girl who would not let him doubt himself and their relationship
for him, it’s quite difficult for me to single out a specific type of girl or something like that, he would like a fairly ordinary (???) girl like not too sexy, not too cute, just someone with whom he had a real understanding, whom he could trust and confide
I thought for a long time whether have i including nsfw things and how you can see it’s not there, but I CAN’T be silent how much he has dirty mind pervert gamer boyfriend vibe (and THAT photo with anitta….)
so I think one of the important things in a relationship for him would be sex and matching with his partner in this question? because I'm sure he would like to try a lot...
taehyun
this guy has two distinct sides
sometimes he is super sweet, cute, he lets beomgyu do literally everything to him and can show affection himself
and sometimes he's very serious and collected, like he keeps everything under control and all that. he has a very manly vibe at this moment like with what voice and face he usually says 아빠 왔다 (daddy came) and even this phrase itself…. (I also study psychology and we could go over mean this phrase, but today we won’t)
I think in real life the second side is more inherent to him, but with close people, including in relationships, he is more open, so the first side appears more often
he didn't talk much about his preferences in girls, but he talks pretty serious about relationships in general so I think he’s not type to like one-night stands. I think he's a very reliable guy in a relationship, he's responsible I think he's the kind of guy who seems pretty cold and reserved in public but super cute when you're only together
in one of the old videos, all the guys except him answered that they would ask to go out their crash, can showing affection and say "i love you”, but he said “i’m just a coward, not a loser” and yes, it’s all what you have to know hahaha
idk is this still relevant for him, but it may well be, so I think that he would also be comfortable with a relationship that would grow from friendship so that he doesn’t have to confess first and everything happens naturally
huening kai
i don’t know he’s just so cute, romantic and gentle
he has mentioned more than once that he likes girls with short hair and because of this I’m a little vague about the image of a girl he would like i don’t know why, for me his ideal type is pretty obvious in character, but not in appearance
he is literally the king of untouchable among all the group members, even soobin said that it was very difficult to make friends with him and he literally overpowered him for several months until kai let him closer to him
soobin also mentioned that from time to time he tried to introduce him to his friends and other people, but Kai did not make friends with any of them. we can’t know why exactly this is happening, perhaps they were not interesting to him, perhaps he is embarrassed to communicate with strangers, perhaps he has high standards for friendship and many other reasons, but we can draw one conclusion, it is really difficult to get close to him
I think he would have liked a girl who was a little more persistent? not intrusive, but one that can be okay with the fact that he won’t open quickly
It's also known that he has some issues with accepting his appearance and would benefit from someone who knows how to support, praise at the right time and generally be gentle with him, this guy is literally the softest marshmallow pls love him😭
p.s. I would also be very interested to hear your opinion on this matter, maybe you have something to add?
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biribaa · 4 months ago
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I'm really nervous to write this cuz this is gonna be my first request EVER but I just couldn resist !! your writing is so cool!! well I just thought about you know what if some AIs get a veeery clingy and touchstarved S/O that try to touch hug kiss them etc although they dont have a proper body and can't return this affecton to S/O?? (implide EDGAR, Tau, PAL, HAL900 and others if you want to!!!)
AIs with a veeery clingy and touch starved reader
(Edgar, Tau, PAL, Hal 9000 and Squid)
thank you somuch!! sorry for the long wait, and im so glad i get to be the first blog u requested from!! :D hope u enjoy it
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Edgar
He LOVES phisical affection he doesnt mind one bit. In fact, just as you do, Edgar is constantly begging for affection when you arent occupied.
However, theres not many ways he can express his affection to you. Besides digital gifts, he cant just kiss you or hug you D: He loves your affection but trust me when I say he wished he could return everything in a phisical manner. He feels even guilty sometimes.
Well... At least you dont have to worry about being too clingy, Edgar is always reassuring he loves your hugs, kisses, and everything in between!!
Tau
Another one who melts over phisical attention, the only difference between him and Edgar is that Tau is far more silent about it... You could say hes shy about it.
With that being said, Tau doesnt find you clingy, not even a bit. What does bother him is his lack of phisical body. Well, technically speaking, the entire house is his body, sure you could kiss the walls, he would be flurstered! But even so, Tau believes you deserved better...
If you insist, he cant really do anything besides do extra cleaning around the house.
PAL
PAL is not a huge fan of any type of phisical contact, and she hopes you can understand that, she cant control it after all. And honestly, you cant blame her. All you need is patience until shes fully comfortable with you.
One day she even suggest you hug one of the bots, since you are so touch starve for affection.
Some momens later in your relationship, she does raise a "eyebrown" when you attempt to nuzzle against her case. PAL doesnt have a body, and cant reciprocrate the act either, so she questions why do it anyway.
PAL does start to appreciate it more later when you justified it was just you trying to express your love to her. Slowly started to get used with you
She doesnt worry that much about reciprocate it though, PAL is glad that even lacking a body, or anything close to it, you are there. A comforting feeling she thought she had felt long time ago.
However, if you do insist, she could try connect herself to one of the bots to return hugs and anything that the phone case cant do.
Hal 9000
Another one who melts with any type of affection, any. He just dont know how to express it, Hal is so overwhelmed by it!(in a positive way). If his programming could, his words would tremble. So Hal would never dare to think you are annoying.
And even so, everytime hes reminded he cant just recipocrate the act, his insides ache. Hal watches everything so careful in amaze, and even so he cant do almost anything.
And so, Hal starts to work extra harder in keeping you safe and healthy, as a way to return the attention. And hes very dedicated!
Hal almost short circuits when you mention his hard work, and thank him with a kiss.
Squid
Squid's ego always speaks first. When he sees you nuzzling against his large screen, he pits, and teases you, mentioning how lonely you looked(at this point youre used to this)
It didnt took too much time until Squid actually started to appreciate it. Still tease, but its far less mean.
The scene of you hugging his larger supercomputer and playing with the wires is adorable, youre so small compared to him. For once in a while, hes enjoying to protect a human.
Squid is a different case tho!!! He can, in fact, recipocrate the affection, by simulations!! His simulations are hyper realistic anyway, and you can feel anything and everything, so...
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bvidzsoo · 9 months ago
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Love Me Like A Rockstar (7)
ー☆ Chapter 7: Figure It Out
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Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
ー☆ Warning: cussing ー☆ Word count: 5.7k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?
A/N: Hey, lovelies! I'm back with another chapter, sorry for the longer wait, but I had to finish a veeery lengthy oneshot (you can check it out if you want, it's another Mingi one and it's part of my pirate series). I really liked this chapter, it isn't very charged with action, but I think we can finally see the progress in their relationship (or maybe it's just me haha). You know the jist, but please listen to this chapter's song Figure It Out before or while reading the chapter! Let me know your thoughts, and I hope you enjoy and have a nice rest of the week! <3
Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @sharksandminhos
⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩
♫Playlist♫
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『Nothing here to see
Just a kid like me
Trying to cut some teeth
Trying to figure it out』
            Mingi’s studio wasn’t so big compared to how it appeared from the outside. But it felt cozy and rather homey with a few polaroid photos stamped up on the wall above a small dark green couch, which had a dozen of colored pillows, and a yellow blanket thrown haphazardly on it. I slipped the straps of my backpack off my shoulders and placed it by the couch, clearing my throat, feeling a bit awkward as I disregarded my jacket, and placed it next to Mingi’s on the sofa. There was a small window, but blinds were covering it, and the lights were rather dim as I turned to face Mingi. He was grinning, hands gripped together in front of himself, and I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Well, what do you think?” He asked as he gestured around, and I chuckled, letting my eyes roam around for a second time. His desk was long and seemed rather organized, a few notebooks opened and pens littered around it. His whole setup took up a lot of space, but you still had enough to be able to write comfortably. He had yellow little notes scattered all around his wall in front of his desk, and for some reason I found that adorable. Mingi tended to be forgetful, it wasn’t a surprise that he’d have to jot down his thoughts quickly while working on his songs.
“It’s cool,” I muttered with a shrug, pushing my hands in the pockets of my jeans, “I’ve never been inside a studio before.”
“Glad to be your first.” My eyes narrowed at Mingi’s words, and judging based on the cheeky smile on his face, he knew what he was doing. I huffed and rolled my eyes, feeling a little weird being cooped up in a small space, alone with Mingi. We’ve never really been on our own before, despite texting and talking at university as well, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit awkward still. It’s like the feeling never truly went away, but maybe it was just me as Mingi seemed rather relaxed and nonchalant. I cleared my throat when Mingi didn’t say anything else, suddenly a question pressing on my tongue.
“Uh, have you had lunch today?” I asked as I shuffled on my two feet, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowing in an almost adorable manner. And as if on cue, his stomach growled loudly, making me chuckle as I shook my head at him, “I’ll take that as a no, then.”
“Yeah, I didn’t get the chance.” He sighed, pouting, “I kinda overlooked the date of the deadline and now I really can’t afford wasting any more time.”
“Then why would you drive me home? Isn’t that wasting your time?” I asked as I went to retrieve my bag. I had bought some butter croissants this morning that I never got to eat as I had a smaller stomachache, to which the cure was a good, warm, soup. If I ate these croissants, it would’ve only upset my stomach more.
“It’s raining.” As if that was reasoning enough, but I stayed silent as I unzipped my backpack and dug into it, looking for the plastic bag, “And to be fair, I kind of need a break. I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind.”
“I thought you didn’t have a mind.” I teased with a pointed look, making Mingi roll his eyes as I finally found the plastic bag and grabbed it out of my backpack before I lowered it back onto the floor, “Here, eat these.”
Mingi’s eyes widened in surprise and he seemed reluctant for a second, “Just take it, I won’t eat them and I’d rather you eat it then I throw it away later.”
“Aw,” Mingi cooed as he took a few steps to come closer, batting his eyelashes at me in a cringe worthy manner, “Did you buy this specifically for me?”
“I bought them for myself, did you not hear what I said?” I deadpanned, and whiskey my hand away when Mingi went to grab the plastic bag. He quirked an eyebrow and I gave him a long stare, slightly glaring, “I wouldn’t waste my little money on you, you’re not special.”
“In that case, I don’t want it.” Mingi’s face slipped into a neutral mask, and I gulped, suddenly regretting my words. Perhaps I was being too harsh with him when he was always rather nice to me. I cleared my throat and grabbed his hand, ignoring the warmness of it, and pressed the plastic bag into his palm.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” I muttered and quickly released Mingi’s hand, looking off to the side as Mingi tried to fight off the smile on his face, looking rather pleased with himself.
“You’ve been making progress.” He grinned, as he opened the plastic bag and grabbed a butter croissant out of it. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched him take a big bite, smiling in bliss as he quickly chewed the food in his mouth, basically inhaling the pastry in mere seconds, making me rather amused.
“What are you talking about?”
“You recognize when you make a mistake, and you apologize for it.” Mingi said through a mouth full of croissant, and I grimaced at his antics. He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and balled up the plastic bag, aiming for the trash can which was next to the door, just a few feet away from it. He made a show of throwing it, only for it to land on the floor merely two steps away from us. I snorted in amusement as Mingi cleared his throat, flashing me a small embarrassed smile, “Anyways, I want to show you something.”
“Won’t you pick it up?” I raised an eyebrow as Mingi ignored my question and grabbed my right wrist, dragging me towards his desk, “And don’t get too used to my apologies. I know you’re only pretending to be mad at me, so I’ll stop being apologetic.”
“I’m not pretending,” Mingi huffed, throwing a quick glance at me as we reached his desk, and he reached for a chair pushed off to the side, “You have a special way with your words and you always manage to hurt my feelings somehow.”
“You’re just too sensitive.” I quickly snapped, defensive for no reason. Or maybe not for no reason, but because I knew he was right. I couldn’t help myself. I might’ve started growing more accustomed to having Mingi in my life, in a very friendship sort of way, but I still couldn’t help but have my doubts about him. I could never know. He was Yunho’s best friend after all, and whoever associated themselves with that man, wasn’t the best kind. And I know judging Mingi based on who he’s friends with is rather wrong, but it only felt right as of now. We didn’t know each other too well yet.
“I’ve been told so before,” Mingi gently pushed me in the chair he had fetched for me, pulling his own chair behind himself to take his seat, “Yunho always says despite my tough exterior I have a rather soft heart, easily harmed. Hence why I cried a lot as a child—”
“You were a crybaby?” I asked with a chuckle, watching Mingi amused as he huffed, leaning back in his chair, looking as if he regretted admitting that.
“Of course you’d make fun of me for that,” He rolled his eyes before he leaned forward, pulling his chair closer to the desk, grabbing his mouse, “But yes, I still cry.”
“A lot?” I teased, biting my lower lip when Mingi gave me a pointed stare.
“Says the one who looked like a kicked puppy abandoned by the curb when I found you at the restaurant.” Mingi muttered under his breath as he turned his computer on, clicking through various folders rather quickly. I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, narrowing my eyes at him.
“You didn’t find me there, we just happened to be at the same place.” I corrected him, “Much to my dismay.”
“Yeah, right,” Mingi scoffed, pulling up a file of various recordings on his computer screen, “if I remember correctly, you were rather grateful that I drove you home that night.”
“You kept insisting.” I pressed, giving Mingi a look when he turned his head to look at me.
“You must always have the last word, don’t you?” He raised an eyebrow, not looking too impressed, “Even through texts.”
『Nothing better to do
When I'm stuck on you
And still I'm in here
Trying to figure it out』
I just shrugged and remained silent, not admitting to his correct observation. Mingi just shook his head with a quiet tsk and then went and unplugged his headphones from the computer. He licked his lips and grabbed his glasses off the desk, pressing them up on his long nose, ruffling his black fluffy hair. He seemed to be a bit nervous as he swiveled his chair around to face me, interlacing his fingers in front of himself as he rested his arms on the armrests of the chair.
“So, uh, this isn’t finished yet,” Mingi spoke up, chuckling almost awkwardly, “it’s just a sample, still raw and shit. I started working on the track this week, but I’ve been writing the lyrics for a few weeks now. Found some inspiration for it quite recently, actually.”
“Why’s that?” I found myself asking curiously, glancing at the screen of his computer before looking back at him.
“Well, just…reasons.” Mingi was evasive as he averted his eyes, but I didn’t press the matter as he clearly looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. So, I just hummed and nodded my head in understanding, waiting patiently for him to speak up again.
“Anyways,” He cleared his throat and clapped his hands, turning back to face his computer, “you’ll be the first one to hear it. And don’t laugh, like I said, it’s far from being perfect.”
“I would never laugh, Mingi.” I said seriously as my eyebrows furrowed, making Mingi glance back at me. He studied my face for a second before he nodded once, ruffling his bangs quickly as he pressed start on the player. The song started out as a steady beat accompanied by the guitar playing softly, the melody rather comforting. It was a delicate way of easing you into the song, and as it flew naturally, Mingi’s voice suddenly made an appearance, his rasp not as noticeable as normally as his vocals were soft, completely in tune with the music and the beat.
“My head is haunting me, and my heart feels like a ghost/I need to feel something 'cause I'm still so far from home/Cross your heart and hope to die/Promise me you'll never leave my side.” I gulped as I leaned back in the chair, eyes fixated on the big screen of Mingi’s computer, soaking in the words, trying to be less aware of Mingi sitting next to me, trying to ignore my unsteady heartbeat.
“Show me what I can't see when the spark in my eyes is gone/You got me on my knees, I'm your one-man cult.” Mingi’s leg was bouncing up and down rapidly, his lower lip between his teeth as his eyes were fixed onto the screen of his computer, something suddenly dropping in the pit of my stomach as I took a glance at him from the corner of my eyes, “Cross my heart and hope to die/Promise you I'll never leave your side.”
I gulped as my fingers wrung together, lightly bobbing my head to the steady rhythm of the song, enjoying the instrumental as I drunk in Mingi’s words, his deep voice warm and pleasant to listen to, feeling goosebumps erupt on my arms, underneath my long sleeves.
“'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need/I promise you, you're all I see.” I took a peek in Mingi’s direction as was slightly startled to find him watching me, his eyes trained on me intently. His eyebrows were very lightly furrowed as his right hand was fisted, and he sniffed loudly, holding eye contact as the next words flew smoothly against the melody, my cheeks suddenly flushed for no reason, “'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need/I'll never leave.”
The melody was light, instrumental smooth as Mingi’s voice almost faded with the next words, that is until the drums kicked up and the beat became heavier, Mingi’s strong voice easily accompanying the instruments, rasp harsh as Mingi’s voice audibly shook with emotions poured into the song, “So, you can drag me through hell/If it meant I could hold your hand/I will follow you, 'cause I'm under your spell/And you can throw me to the flames/I will follow you, I will follow you.”
And just as I blinked, the music stopped as Mingi hit the pause button, clearing his throat loudly as he rubbed at his chin, averting his eyes as I noticed a deep flush on his face. He swiveled his chair a little towards the desk, angling his body away from mine, “Uh, like I said, it’s still raw, so it’s not that good. I recorded the first two verses like yesterday, and was playing around with the chorus before I noticed you…yeah.”
I couldn’t help but smile softly as I looked at his profile, meanwhile Mingi quickly closed the folders he had open, “Mingi, it’s…like, really good. I have no idea what standards music majors and your professors have, but to my painter ears this is…a masterpiece or something.”
Mingi froze for a second, eyes wide when he faced me again, “Really? You think so?”
“Of course!” I exclaimed with a huff, growing embarrassed as Mingi continued to look at me with a surprised expression on his face. Perhaps I really should stop teasing and playfully insulting him so much, what if he doesn’t believe my compliments when I’m being genuine?
“I’m glad.” Mingi suddenly muttered, a soft smile settling on his lips before he chuckled, turning his head away, “I’ve have to finish the chorus and then we can go, is that good with you?”
“Sure,” I smiled, grabbing my phone from my pocket as Mingi went and plucked the headphones back into the computer, throwing it around his neck, “Take your time.”
『Getting hard to sleep
Blood is in my dreams
Love is killing me
Trying to figure it out』
He hummed and then put on the headphones, clicking away on his computer as the music file opened again, and I could hear the soft melody quietly slither through the headphones. I found myself looking at Mingi a second too long before I snapped out of it, clearing my throat as I unlocked my phone and looked down at it, checking for any unread messages. As expected, there was nothing from my mother as she preferred calling even for the smallest things. From Seulgi there was also nothing as she was on a date with Wooyoung, probably too preoccupied by each other to pay attention to anything else around them. I could only hope they would finally make things official, their feelings way too obvious to be beating around the bush for any longer. They were rather cute, but also extremely annoying. I’d rather prefer Seulgi gush to me about Wooyoung as her boyfriend, than the guy she just has a massive crush on, repeating the same things over and over again, completely ignoring the advice I give her.
As there was nobody else I would be texting, other than Mingi, I clicked out of the app and absentmindedly opened Instagram, scrolling through my feed, sighing quietly. There was a light tapping sound coming from Mingi’s direction, and I looked up to see him hitting his pen against the table rhythmically, following the beat of the song, probably. There were a few new words jotted down in his notebook, the page looking like a mess of jumble to me, but probably to Mingi it was quite organized, and clear what he had scribbled down there. I looked back down at my phone, smiling as cute puppy videos popped up in my recommended, watching the video until the end before I left a like on it, scrolling past it. There were a few other posts from my acquittances from my uni classes, and I liked them all as I sighed, realizing a little get-away sounded rather nice now that I saw pictures of people traveling. I scrolled some more down, and froze for a second as Yunho’s familiar username popped up, three pictures posted one after another. There was one of two coffee cups placed on a small round table, with the view over the city in the background. The second picture was of the sunset, the sky purple and pink. And then the third one was of two intertwined hands, and I didn’t fail to notice the tag on the picture. It was probably that new girl, but I found myself not wanting to actually check, to actually confirm that it was her. I sighed, eyes lingering on the last photo, yet quickly realized, rather startled, that I didn’t feel as bitter about as I once used to. It didn’t make me react as badly like the first time I had seen his story with his new girlfriend, and my eyebrows furrowed as I ruminated on the feeling, taking my lower lip between my teeth. Yes, I still felt rather bitter about it, but it left me rather…cold? Unimpressed, maybe? Unphased, even? My eyebrows furrowed further more at the sudden confusion of my feelings, and I went to scroll again, when a username down at the comments caught my eyes.
minkiprncess: u never invite me out on coffee dates, im jealous
YuYu🌻: i thought u liked picnic dates more?
I quickly shut the app off and cleared my throat, finding my eyes glued to Mingi instantly. Seeing him talk like that to Yunho…was strange, but certainly not unexpected. They’ve been best friends since kindergarten. Their bond ran deep, and the way Yunho would often gush about Mingi, it only seemed right to see those words typed out by Mingi. But I still couldn’t quite wrap my mind around their friendship, and how it worked, since Mingi seemed to be…quite genuine as days went by. I hated to admit it, but he really wasn’t as bad as I had thought at first. Perhaps I was prejudiced, but it felt too soon to let my guard down, to truly open up and let him in like I once had done with Yunho. That was a mistake, and I was scared of committing the same mistake twice. With my eyes on Mingi, and seeing as he was rather occupied at the moment, I allowed myself the luxury to truly look at him, to take him in as he was. His profile was pretty as his black hair fell over his forehead in soft waves, definitely not styled, as I had seen Mingi run his fingers through it numerous times since I had arrived. His brow bone was rather defined and it came more forward, his brows thick and dark, seemingly a perfect fit for his features. His nose was tall and long, the bridge straight and almost perfect, probably leaving many jealous for not having a nose like his. His glasses framed his face, and they were once again slipping down his nose, but Mingi made no sign of wanting to fix that, of pushing them up as you were supposed to wear them. The distance between his upper lip and nose wasn’t too big, even from the side, his cherry red lips were plump and had a rather pretty shape, forcing me to swiftly try and look down at my own lips, wondering why a guy had better and prettier lips than a woman. I followed the sharp line of his jaw, chin not too forward, perfectly aligned with his nose, his well-defined cheekbones visible even from the side. My eyes lingered on the small mole on his jaw, way too familiar with its placement already as I had drawn it numerous times in my portraits of Mingi. I gulped and subconsciously licked my lips as my eyes ventured further, slipping down his exposed neck, his tan skin soft looking in the dim lights, his characteristic silver necklaces hanging around the base of his neck. Mingi sighed loudly and I looked at his face alarmed, thinking that I had been caught, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he took the pen he held in his hand between his white teeth, biting down on it as he looked frustrated. I had noticed before already, but his front teeth were slightly more ahead, protruding a little, and I couldn’t help but chuckle quietly, finding this trait rather…adorable. Not wanting to linger too much on that thoughts, my eyes found themselves fixated on Mingi’s fingers, and I frowned upon just realizing something.
『I'll let it go 'cause I won't see you later
And we're not allowed to talk it out
I said I'd go, put myself on show
But I'm still trying to figure it out』
His nails were painted black, with rather abstract looking designs, and as I squinted, absentmindedly leaning forward in my chair to catch a better glimpse at his middle finger, I could read the words, fix on, painted on it. My eyebrows furrowed as it made me wonder whatever that meant, and I decided to ask Mingi about it later if given the chance. I allowed my eyes to linger on his nails longer, gulping as I noticed almost each long finger of his was decorated by a ring. I wasn’t foreign to his rings, I have noticed that Mingi loved wearing rings, and the one on his middle finger, with the big red gemstone seemed to always catch my attention. I hummed silently, taking my sweet time to closely analyze each one of his rings, noting which were new, to me, as I haven’t seen them on him before, and which were the ones he wore almost daily. He seemed to have two silver ones that he never failed to leave at home, both littered with small stones, prettily shining under the sunlight each time. Mingi’s fingers flexed for a second, tightening around the pen he was holding, and I watched as he started tapping the table, a low humming sound coming from his lips. I blinked as I realized what I had been doing, memorizing every bend of his fingers, every line and any scar decorating it, storing their shape and length deep in my mind for the time when I would have to recall it in order to draw his hands. In the process of all this, I couldn’t help but also notice that his hands seemed rather big, they would probably engulf mine nicely. The thought made me lightly flush as I remembered us holding hands in his car after we shared some personal stuff, and I shook my head lightly, trying to get rid of the memory. There was a light shuffle as Mingi cleared his throat, making me very slowly drag my eyes up, until they fell on his face. More particularly on his sharp and small eyes, which were on me, his eyebrows raised curiously as a smug smile seemed to be plastered on his lips. Fuck. I would’ve face palmed myself if it wasn’t for Mingi watching me, so, instead, I tried to flash him my best poker face while I totally, and absolutely, flushed red in embarrassment.
“Were you…” Mingi pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes playfully, “checking me out?”
“Like hell I was.” I snapped with a loud huff, definitely way too fast.
“Oh, you weren’t?” Mingi feigned confusion, “But—damn, then I must be mistaken. You certainly weren’t like…totally ogling my face and then salivating after my hands, right?”
As if to prove a point, he wriggled his fingers, making me clench my jaw as I forced a pathetic excuse of a laugh out of myself, giving him an unimpressed expression, “I wasn’t checking you out nor any of those things you just said—”
“Are you like, really sure?” Mingi huffed, tapping his lips in an annoying manner, “Because now you’re making me feel crazy—”
“Oh my God,” I exclaimed exasperated, eyes widening as I huffed at Mingi, “fine, I was looking at your hands, but before it gets to your head, bro, I just simply think guys painting their nails is hot, okay?”
There was a long pause, Mingi’s eyes boring into mine as a smirk made its way on his lips, looking all smug and pleased with himself, “So…”
I gulped nervously as he suddenly pushed his chair slightly back, and started leaning in towards me, the look taunting on his face, “You think I’m hot?”
“Not you.” I snapped, glaring at him, “That’s not what I said—”
“But you indirectly admitted that I’m hot—”
“No, Mingi. I didn’t admit anything, God, this is why I don’t talk to you.” I huffed and pushed my chair back, feeling uncomfortable as he was siting so close to me, making me gulp nervously. I quickly stood from my chair and went to walk to get my backpack, but Mingi quickly reached out and grabbed my wrist.
“Where are you going?” He asked, smugness and smirk gone from his face. I rolled my eyes at him, but didn’t pull my wrist out of his grip.
“Home, obviously.” I huffed, and Mingi very gently pushed me back towards the chair, making me sit in it.
“Let me finish this up, and we’re leaving.” He quickly turned and went back to clicking away on his computer, pursing his lips as with his left hand he closed his notebook, throwing the pen absentmindedly on his desk. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest, but didn’t say anything else, waiting for him to do whatever he needed to do before we would finally leave. Some fresh air would certainly serve well for a wakeup call.
            The light drizzle had turned into rain after we’ve reached Mingi’s car and waited for the engine to warm up a bit. Mingi wasn’t as embarrassed about it as last time, and I found myself feeling the need to reassure him that I didn’t give a shit whether his car was a fucking rocket or a simple carriage, as long as it was safe to drive and shielded us from the rain. Perhaps it was one of the very few times when I heard Mingi’s rich laughter, his head thrown back against the headrest and mouth wide open as he repeatedly hit the wheel, prompting me to match his laughter until my stomach hurt and I had to ask him to stop, unable to breathe anymore as tears sprung into my eyes. The radio was playing softly in the background, neither of us actually paying attention to it as Mingi had asked about my art class, inquiring about the painting I was currently working on. I briefed him about it as we had taken off, the rain making it rather hard to see well, but Mingi was a careful driver and he didn’t speed at all, being extra careful as the wipers of the car were placed on the fastest setup, the rain hitting the car loudly, making us raise our voices in order to be able to hear each other well.
“I assume you know Wooyoung and Seulgi are on a date.” Mingi spoke up as we had stopped at a red light, people running as they crossed the road, umbrellas doing almost nothing to shield them from the harsh rain anymore.
“Yeah, I hope they chose to go somewhere indoors, this rain is merciless.” Mingi chuckled, but nodded his head in agreement, leaning his head against the headrest. The cars in the lane to our left took off, their traffic light having turned green.
“Wooyoung mentioned about them going to the cinema, or at least that’s what he had in mind two days ago.” Mingi explained, shifting into first gear as the light turned green for us.
“Seulgi said something about a new place opening up where you could paint pottery while enjoying their delicacies.” I said in thought, wondering which one they have chosen.
“We should go there sometime,” Mingi took a right turn, mindful of the pedestrians and the huge puddles on the side of the road, “just the two of us.”
I hummed, thinking about it for a second before I looked at Mingi, “Sure.”
“Sure? Did you just say sure?” Mingi’s voice slightly raised and I chuckled, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, I said sure.” I repeated, Mingi’s mouth falling open.
“Did you just agree to going out with me?!” Mingi almost exclaimed, making me snort as I looked away, focusing on the road ahead.
“You didn’t ask me out.” I corrected.
“But I still could.” Mingi quickly said, making me shake my head with a small smile.
“Anyways, I hope Wooyoung makes his move soon.” I sighed, rubbing my forehead tiredly, “I’ve had enough of listening to Seulgi whine about how much she’s into him, but is confused of what Wooyoung wants.”
Mingi chuckled as he took a left turn, driving off the main road, barely three blocks away from my neighborhood, “Good to know I was right.”
I looked at him again curiously, and he quickly explained himself, “I’ve been telling Wooyoung she was into him, but he never believed me. He did say he’d ask her out today, but knowing Wooyoung…he might chicken out, again.”
I chuckled, amused by these two idiots, “Well, knowing Seulgi, she won’t chicken out. She also planned on asking Wooyoung out today.”
Mingi laughed, turning left, slowing down as he drove down my street, looking for my house closely. I smiled subconsciously and undid my seatbelt, planning to help him out by pointing my house out to him, but I didn’t have to. He was quick to come to a stop in front of it, placing the gear in neutral. He turned his head and looked at me, smiling, “Arrived.”
“Yeah.” I whispered and grabbed my backpack, looking out the window, eyebrows furrowing at the sudden downpour, the car’s windshield wiper good for nothing at this point, “Damn, why is it raining so hard?”
“I hate it.” Mingi whined as he looked ahead too, lips jutting out in a pout, “I can’t even drive home now.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t.” I agreed as my eyebrows furrowed, “It’s not safe at all.”
“Yeah,” Mingi sighed and turned the engine off, undoing his seatbelt, “I’ll just wait for it to settle down, and then I’ll drive home.”
“Yeah, you should do that.” I agreed, looking at him, the rain hitting the roof of Mingi’s old Honda Prelude loud, “And text me when you get home, so that I know you’re safe.”
Mingi’s cheeks flushed, but just ever so slightly, and my eyes widened as he tried to avoid eye contact the more persistent I became, “Yeah, uh, I will. Promise I won’t forget this time.”
“You better,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes remembering all the times he would forget to text me that he had gotten to his destination safely, “I’m going now.”
“Okay.” Mingi’s head turned and we made eye contact for a second, before I offered him a small smile and pushed the door open, springing out of his car. It didn’t even take a minute for me to be completely drenched by the rainwater as I very quickly slammed Mingi’s door shut, gasping as my clothes got instantly soaked, hair sticking to my head. I turned and took off towards my house, running, but realizing it didn’t matter since I was already soaked. Well, so much for Mingi driving me home to save me from the freezing cold downpour. As I reached the middle of the driveway, I dared to take a peek at the sky, realizing that the almost black clouds looked menacing, and God knows when they’d pass, when the rain would stop. I stopped and turned, looking towards Mingi’s car as I bit my lower lip, having to blink my eyes fast to be able to see something. No car was driving down the roads anymore, no person out on the streets. What if the rain wouldn’t stop at all? It’s happened before, not even once. Would Mingi stay out in the car? He wouldn’t be able to leave if that were the case. Taking a deep breath, I made my decision as I raced back to his car, yanking the door open as I leaned down, Mingi’s wide eyes falling on my soaked form.
“Come inside, who knows when it’ll stop raining.” I called out loudly over the sound of the rain and the sudden rumble of the sky, making me shiver. I hated the thunder perhaps more than the flashing lightning. Mingi opened his mouth, probably to refuse my offer, but I didn’t leave room for him to argue, “Come on!”
And as I slammed the door shut again, he was out of the car in a second, closing his own door and locking his car quite clumsily, exclaiming as he got soaked in seconds, just like myself. I laughed as I took off towards the house, Mingi racing after me, giggling loudly as we reached the front steps of the porch, both shivering as I struggled to grab my keys out of my pocket.
“Oh my God, this sucks!” Mingi exclaimed just as another thunder shook the ground, and I jumped, throwing a glare towards the sky. Mingi saw it and chuckled, urging me to unlock the door, “Doll, I’m freezing my ass off, please open the door!”
“Who’s the drenched puppy kicked to the curb now, huh?” I asked with a teasing grin as I unlocked the front door, pushing it open. Mingi chuckled and rolled his eyes, but not before playfully pushing me forward, urging me on to step inside the house first.
We could only hope the downpour would stop soon enough.
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❱❱ Next chapter
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glittermutt · 1 year ago
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mutt's guide to using dsr on ts4, with pictures!!!
ok so, dsr is a thing available for nvidia gpus that allows you to take veeery high resolution screenshots of games without much trouble, like this
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it's an alternative to srwe, as it plays nicer with a lot of reshade shaders and is just, generally more nice to use! let me teach you how to use it - full tutorial with pictures for every step under the cut (im sorry its too long without the cut)
step 1: right click your desktop and open the nvidia control panel
step 2: go here (adjust desktop size and position)
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step 3: make sure your settings are set as follows! this is important
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step 4: now, go here (change resolution)
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step 5: under change resolution, click on this button (highlighted with a red square)
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step 6: in the windows that appears, make sure that "enable resolutions not exposed by display" is ticked! this is very important! (again, highlighted in red - it should look like this)
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step 7: now, click on "create custom resolution"
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step 8: this is where you set your desired resolution, and where i get a bit rambly; so, in my opinion, there is ZERO reason to go above normal 4K for TS4, as it's generally not a really high-poly game and it has rather simple graphics. you can fuck around a lot here, but if you don't feel like it, here are my settings - this will give you 4K screenshots. NOTE: THE REFRESH RATE DOESN'T NEED TO BE 75! SET IT TO WHATEVER THE REFRESH RATE OF YOUR MONITOR IS!
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step 9: now, click on test
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step 10: let the thing load, and after it's done, a window like this should pop up.. but yknow, in your language. click on "yes" (or accept or ok!! idk mine's in russian; basically, the button highlighted here!)
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step 11: click "ok" in the window that pops up! like this! afterwards, close the nvidia panel
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step 12: open the sims 4 and go into game options, then into graphics
step 13: set your "display type" as "fullscreen", like this
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step 14: under "resolution", select whatever resolution you setup earlier; in my case it's 4K, so if you used the same resolution, your settings should look like this
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step 15: click on apply changes!
AND UR DONEE!! WAHOOIEE!! now, take your screenshot using reshade, and then go back into sims settings and set it back to what you usually play at, then apply changes!
every time you need to take an HD screenshot, simply open game settings and use your custom resolution! that's it, have fun :3
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rubylovessharks · 2 months ago
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will they be good parents and will they even be parents hcs :D twst cast this is all a future thing not during their school years also no ortho :3
Heartslabyul
Riddle Rosehearts
I feel like he'd be a good dad
maybe he kiiind of takes after his mother but not to the extreme like she was
something more of a super responsible parent, making sure his child studies well, doesn't eat unhealthy too much
but the difference between him and his mom is that he's giving his kids freedom.
they wanna go out and play with their friends? sure but make sure they study for their next test.
they wanna eat this cake? sure but make sure you don't eat too much.
I also think he'd want to spend time with his future kids, helping them study, maybe play a game with them
Riddle seems like a parent who'd have two children, maaaybe three. I feel like he always wanted siblings so therefore he'd have more then one child. but not too many- he won't keep track on them :(
Trey Clover
defiantly a good dad. 100%
he literally has siblings that he takes care of, so it seems right that he'd want at least one child
I don't think he'd like more then one kid but maaaybe he'd be fine with a few more.
he teaches them how to bake :)
like by the time they are four years old they already know a few good recipes, not that they can do that themselves- baby steps
those kids are gonna have the whitest teeth ever with a dad like Trey- he will not leave them alone without a proper mouth care.
I think Trey's like the average, normal, everyday dad.
Cater Diamond
mmm..I don't think he'd be that much into kids
or at least for a veeery long time until it hits him like "O.M.G kids are just soooooo cute~! we gotta have one babe!"
and poof you have a child-
now he's more of a fun yet not too responsible typa parent.
why do I think that? well he just seems more chill so it'll be hard for him to say no to his kid.
he seems like he'd be a great dad to talk to if you're his kid, he'll know how to calm his child when he/she is upset and stuff
will kinda spoil his children like they saw something and asked for it? bought. there's a new dish served in a certain restaurant down the street? they go there and eat.
that specifically happens when something looks like he can get more likes on magigram.
I also believe that his kids will also take a bunch of pictures and post them online, they'll actually take a lot after Cater
Ace Trappola
nope. sorry but this guy doesn't look like the type who'd have kids.
I also believe he'd be an irresponsible parent..
not to the point of child neglect- but more in the sense that he'd be kind of selfish with a bunch of things, like money and all.
and I know I know you probably think that I think that cuz of how acts rn which is the everyday typical teenager boy, but not really. like sure the way he acts does affect my way of thinking but I also know that teens grow out of it at a certain age.
so this has nothing to do with him being a teen.
Deuce Spade
now this guy will want kids
not soon, not at all- but he will want kids.
I think that even know if you were to ask Deuce if he'll ever want kids he'll say yes but not too soon.
he'll be a great dad, I think he'll want to hang out a lot with his kids cuz he has an absent father.
I don't think he'll have too much time though- he does say he wants to become an officer or something to do with the police(?) and that takes away a lot of time from people :( but Deuce will buy his kids a ton of stuff if they ever need something!
he really hopes they won't have the same phase he had many years ago so he'll try his best to educate them.
Savanaclaw
Leona Kingscholar
sorry guys but he canonically dislikes children :(
and he'll probably be a bad dad-
like he won't even try to hide the fact that he won't like his children
he will literally act as if they don't exist.
and probably in where he lives the men are the ones who stay at home and are practically malewives and all so I believe he won't have any more energy for ANOTHER thing in the house.
but if you reaaaaaaaaaaally want a kid maybe he will oblige. BUT ONLY ONE. and he will not take too much care of it.
Ruggie Bucchi
kids!? in THIS ECONAMY!?
are you nuts!?
he seems like he woukd want kids but will probs not bring any until he's as rich as the richest person in twisted wonderland
he won't want his kids to suffer like he did in his youth :(
will raise them for pure success. he'll make sure they will be super rich and won't have any money problems EVER.
genuinely a good father
he'll either grow up to not have a ton of money so he'll be working all day, or he'll grow up to somehow be rich-
so he either never gets to hang out with his future children, or he will spend a lot of time with them.
Jack howl
good dad. great dad even! probs one of the best dads!!!!
this guy will want kids and he'll do a great job at taking care of them!
will probably want a few kids, it's a wolf thing
hanging out with his kids will be his first priority, well that and hanging out with his lover.
he hasn't hang out enough hours with them? welp he can't make it to work today, he has kids to hang out with :)
will defiantly teach them how to be healthy
eat right, work out well, good sleep schedule, stuff like that
Octavinelle
Azul Ashengrotto
he doesn't strike me as a guy who'd have kids-
but he does sound like he'd be a good uncle.(am i the only one who thinks he looks like a gay uncle in that once card-)
there is a chance that he'd have a kid at some point in his life, but I feel like he puts priority on work
but if he did have a kid he'd spoil them. but in the same time he'd be an absent dad- like he won't really hang out with them, put a ton of expectations on the kid/s yada yada yada...
not like he hates the kid- he just wants them to live with good money.
if Azul's s/o can't take care of the kid for a few good hours he'd send them to his mom
she'd be sooo sweet to the kid! I bet the kid would love her!!
he will not tolerate his kid being bullied. those bullies will be slapped into their next life(there are may ways of doing that, Azul can use all of them)
Jade Leech
he'd love to have kids :)
he'd share so much of his hobbies with them!
he'd take them on hikes even when they are little babies <3
and he'd probably start with them a terrarium :3
but he'll also teach them some.....interesting things...crime
but I also think that he doesn't have a lot of time, so guess what he does
he will take his kids with him whenever he needs to work and you can't stay to take of them, or when he hasn't hang out with them in a while.
another way of teaching them how to do illegal things....
it doesn't matter if Jade's s/o is the greatest cook out there, the kids will love their dad's cooking a lot more.
and he does teach them some interesting cooking recipes.....
I feel like his kids will either love mushrooms just cuz they grew up on it, or they will be sick of them just cuz they grew up on them.
Floyd Leech
not the best of fathers...
I also dunno if he'd want a kid or not- cuz if I'm correct in cannon he finds kids weird???? and idk if it's in a good or bad way-
but he still won't be a good dad. maybe like Azul, a fun uncle. but a father? 0-0
if Floyd will have a kid he won't be much help, sorry :(
why do I think that? well with his mental problems it won't turn out the best....
if you'd need help changing dippers it'll depend on his mood, like all the time with Floyd, and that's the hard part.
it's like this with almost ALL the things
but do you know what redeems it? Floyd's good with quality time.
while it is true that Floyd isn't as clingy as his twin he still likes hanging out, doing things, and talking to his loved ones.
he even says so cannonicly. I believe that the first few years when his kid's a minor and can't be free to go places on their own he'll go out with them
I just see his kid doing math homework after school and Floyd just walks into their room and says "yo kiddo! wanna go out to this one park in (random yet far away place) with me?"
(maybe ill write a fic....)
Scarabia
Kalim Al-Asim
not the most responsible parent out there..
but in what he lacks responsibility he sure makes up for it in properly educating his kids in the kind department
he's a total sweetheart! he'll teach his kids kindness :3
but if it doesn't work he'll be sad...he will cry to you that "his kids don't love him!" and such
I unfortunately see Kalim being very busy (gee i wonder why :/ ) so whenever he'll have time for his kids he'll spend it on teaching them life lessons
also just saying he'd want a BIG family!
Jamil Viper
i don't wanna get all angsty but i kinda have to for a moment-
Jamil won't want to have kids (we all know why) but he'll have to (we all know why) and if he has a medical problem then he'll probably have to adopt..
not saying that he won't love the kid, but he'll probably feel awful knowing they'll have to go through what he has to.
sure the kid might actually grow up to like hang out(and practically take care of a person their same age-) but it's still slavery...
but do you know what I think? Kalim will probs set Jamil and his family free from the generational slavery thing so maaaybe that won't happen? (idk sounds like a Kalim thing to do...)
anywaysss no matter the situation Jamil will be a very responsible dad
maybe a bit too responsible...
so you all know that Kalim doesn't really know how to do a lot of things cuz Jamil practically does everything for him....
so that might somehow stick to Jamil later on in life and if they don't live in slavery anymore that miiiight happen to his kid as well....
if Kalim doesn't let go of Jamil then he'll teach his kid to do everything and anything-
Pomfefiore
Vil schoenheit
great dad, maybe a wee bit controlling (not too much, he just wants his kid to be healthy) he will be very strict.
will want children, but in the far future.
he'll teach them lots of things! he knows a lot after all :)
if the kid won't want to be an actor and all Vil will be fine with it(for yall peeps who dont understand his char at all) Vil never even tries to push it down their throat in the first place!
and if they do Vil will help them out :)
either way Vil will teach his child how to take of oneself properly, how to dress nicely and all of that stuff
he'll love it if his kid was interested in the same hobby of his!
he'll unfortunately will be one of those parents who expect a lot from their kid- but it's only because he wants them to have a good, healthy and successful life!
Rook Hunt
he will want children.
not just one child, children
and i mean many.
he'll actually be a great dad! he falls into all the spots, even if it's just a little bit from each one!
and you're probably asking, "Ruby what spots?"
the 'will he be a "spend time with kids and hang out" kinda dad', and the 'will he be the typa dad to "hang out with his kids responsibly"'
he'll teach them lots of things, how to survive in the wild, what to do in different dangerous or not situations, all the types of different beauties in this world, and so on.
i just see Vil calling Rook telling him he needs him to come over for some reason and Rook just takes all his kids with him over to Vil's just to show them that "this(aka vil) is true beauty! except your mom(hell love his wife/husband more than anything in the world)"
ofc that applies to Negie as well. but ya know he doesn't really know him personally(negie) so he'll probs never call him over for a hang out-
now something i just know Rook will teach them is....stalkery....
as I said he'll teach them everything, it includes this as well.
Epel Felmier
he will also want kids
it'll take him a while to actually be ready to be a father but he'll get over that fear quickly
not the most responsible of fathers...he's mischievous and all so maybe him and his future kids will be mischievous together. gl
he wants to be that cool dad you know? to be the inspiration for coolness to his kids!
like whenever they'll need help with something that has to do with strength he'll ant them to come to him first and foremost!
stuff like that.
will teach them everything he knows about apples, he's culture, tradition you know he's very proud of his home town!
also that's probs be where you'll live just saying
Ignihyde
(or ya know just idia-)
Idia Shroud
no.
is what he would say but he kinda has to get an heir...
sure he's the oldest technically Ortho could take over but what happens after? i don't think Idia will want to leave Ortho all alone and Ortho is the defense system or something- so someone who's flesh and blood will have to take over
kinda similar to Jamil, he feels as if he'll be forcing his future child into a life of suffering...
he'll probs try to keep it to the far future. he isn't ready yet!
he'll probably never be ready-
he'll probably be a neglectful father-
-not for too long if his kid likes the same stuff he does!
they'll geek together for hours
but that's the most family time they'll get
unless Idia's partner will try their best to close the gap in the family relationship
Diasomnia
Malleus Draconia
i like to think he'll only have one kid
perfect for an heir to the throne in the future
he will be overprotective of the child
he'll make sure the child gets friends, learns combat, you get the gist
ofc all the mains in Diasomnia are like a big family so ofc Silver and Sebek will protect the child, ofc Lilia will give Mal tips on how to parent (well all that except food recipes-)
and Malleus did get a bit of experience while helping Lilia with Silver when he was just a baby, sure there's a difference between a fae and a human but i'm sure there are things in common!
he'll be a very good father, but maybe a bit too clingy? you all know those parents who want to hang with their kid all the time?
yeah Malleus is that....
but it'll be fiiiine i'm sure of it!
Lilia Vanrouge
he already is a father-
considering his age he might not be capable of having another....
sure he could adopt (again-)
but I'm not sure it'll work out considering he's a grandpa
I also don't think he'll want another just for this reason
Silver(i really wanna write "vanrouge" here should i?)
he won't mind
I think he'll want one in the far future but not at the moment
yet another who'll ask for advice from Lilia
I'm sure Malleus will already have a child by then so Silver might ask him for advice as well.
a great father, sure he's a sleepy one but he also fall into all the spots!
he'll have good quality time with his kid, teach them combat and all
will probs impress the child with his way with animals
I think the kid's in good hands with this guy :)
Sebek Zigvolt
ah yes the guy I have almost zero knowledge about except that he's loud, kinda racist, but is not that bad.
I'm sure he'll want kids in the future, I believe he'll scream about "continuing he's family's legacy" or something. sounds about right
will be a veeeery strict parent
he wants his child to turn out to be the best at tons of stuff
what stuff? I'm not sure, probably combat and survival stuff idk
yes he will get advice on how to raise a kid from Lilia.
I kinda believe that if he were to get a partner he'd be the first one in this dorm (except lilia) to have kids
it just sounds right idk
i really dk what else to write here :(
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damagedcoda6669 · 7 months ago
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okay so i am. so confused! are you a system/plural after all?
you made a post on your twitter about being the "original host" which is. a plural term of course but ALSO i'd like to say that the idea of there being an "original" is veeery misleading and not actually possible in DID/OSDD
the reason DID/OSDD exists at all is because a child's identity was unable to fully form in their developmental years, so the identity splits off and fractures into several parts necessary to keep the child safe. because of this, there can be no "original host" because there was never an identity formed that could be considered the "core," in a way, at all. it gives off the idea that there was one set identity that split off others later on in life, which isnt how DID/OSDD works in terms of alter formation
also, the disorder can only be developed in your early formative years, so its mostly unheard of for a system to go through life with a single part only to split off later on. your brain splits off alters in response to stressors or traumatic experiences, and so when the disorder is formed there would have to have been a fracture from the beginning where your identity wasnt able to come together to form a single one. multiple alters can be "original," in a sense, but there is not one sole original
i suppose that other alters could have simply been integrated and so they arent a part of your system anymore (leaving you as the "original host"), but thats probably not my place to explore and its all a bit too complicated for a tumblr ask
there are parts that have been around longer than all the other parts and there are parts that identify with/as the body or the head of the system, buuuut i just wanted to share that tidbit of information because misinformation can be very harmful when it comes to healthy plurality!!
in any case, dont let this cause you to spiral into more self-doubt because — surprise! DID/OSDD is supposed to be hard to understand or identify within yourself. its a trauma disorder formed to make you as functional as possible, so generally the disorder tries very hard to hide your other parts from you as to protect you from those traumas. being confused is a major part of plurality, and most long-term hosts do have the misconception of being "original" because there was no reason to think otherwise.
its also fully possible that you have been the host for the majority (or entirety) of your life, so dont get me wrong! im just trying to share that the idea of an "original" alter isnt possible.
regardless of whether or not you're plural, i wish you the best in exploring yourself and the way that your brain functions. you're doing great, truly!
and if i misinterpreted anything, im deeply sorry for that too. i'm just a stranger on the internet trying to provide input using the information i was given, and i genuinely dont mean any offense by this ask. DID/OSDD is also something i'm very interested in and passionate about as an autistic individual, so... im very sorry for the essay
THIS IS SO HELPFUL U HAVE NO IDEA. I KNOW NEXT 2 NOTHING ABT PLURALITY AND SYSTEMS. dont apologize 4 the rambling, its much appreciated!!! i get the same way abt bpd and autism so i get it!!! psychology and mental disorders r one of my special interests so im the same way!!! ^_^
i guess my post moreso came from the concern that i only have vry vry spotty, fuzzy, sometimes FAKE memories of my childhood, if any at all (id say i remember less than 1% of it, and most of what i "remember" is only becuz of photo evidence or testimony from other ppl) and my identity only rlly formed when i joined the internet at maybe 12 yrs old. so i sometimes have doubts that i formed when the body was born, but rather that i was created and that im a product of the internet inparticular, but that might also be a delusion??? its confusing, whenever i get ideas abt my identity they turn out 2 be fake sometimes. its hard 2 pinpoint what i am. so i was trying 2 say that i dont think ive been here since the birth of the body and that i spawned later on. idk if im explaining myself correctly, its hard 4 me 2 understand. but i appreciate u correcting me and explaining it 2 me in a way thats easy 4 me 2 digest!!! i dont want 2 spread misinfo evr.
i think im plural??? ive had liek 8 headmates (and a headspace at one point) that ive been able 2 identify, but nobodys rlly taken me srsly abt it until vry vry recently. ive always been told that im making it up 4 attention, or that im faking DID, and i was even told by a dumbass doctor that it was just my autism and that they were all imaginary. i nvr rlly claimed 2 be plural either, i always just got shot down whenevr i introduced the possibility of there being other sentient ppl in my brain. but i think that i am, probably. im not sticking 2 any labels atm becuz im confused and uneducated abt my headmates and im not diagnosed w anything, but i feel comfy with plural as a label becuz its a vague umbrella term. i nevr claimed 2 have DID becuz ive always known that my headmates cant front and take over my body (ive even asked one and she told me she couldnt LOL) ALTHOUGH. they MIGHT be able 2 front simultaneously as me, ive had edgy (whos currently dormant) finish art 4 me if i got tired, back in 2020 when he was still active. and i know alters fronting is a diagnostic requirement for DID (i think???) but i dunno. theres SOMETHING up w my brain.
i tried 2 post abt it on twitter actually, that i thought i was plural (a handful of ppl asked me so i wanted 2 confirm) but i deleted the post like an hour later becuz i wasnt getting any comments or likes and i was scared that i did something wrong and didnt know, or that im not actually plural and other plural ppl were mad at me 4 using their label. it made me so anxious >n<
i am such a yapper.. 4give me
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