#vee having a panic attack if we're honest
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me: makes a singular mistake at work
me, an autis/tic who overreacts but also knows her boss overreacts somtimes and could potentially do it bc hears all the complaining of past ppl constantly: WHAT IF I GET FIRED IF I GET FIRED I DONT DERERVE TO BE ALIVE WHAT IF PROOF THAT I AM A WORTHLESS HAPPENS AND THEREFORE I ENED TO BE DIED I AM ANXIETY I AM NOT OKAY I CANT NBREATHE
#out.#negative#ish#more so#vee having a panic attack if we're honest#and trying to make it seem less serious than it is by making a joke out of her own panic#ahahaha i am actually crying tho like she hasnt responded yet but like i kind of wanna throw myself into my pool until my lungs fill up and#dont have to ever think again at all because i wont be around to worry abt it#ahahahahahahahahahaa see this is the aprt of a/utism ppl dont want you to hear about#we're taught from such a young age that everything we do is so wrong#that we make one mistake and kind of just wanna die because we feel fucking worthless because of it#and i still cant breathe my ribs hurt my stomach hurts#i just wanna die tbh it hurts my brain hurts everything hurts adasdosa#i just opened my computer too when i got the message ahahahaa#shes gonna be doing the clint for a bit too i already know im gonna be elled at sh e ways she yells at all fo them at least once#i havent bene yeleled at yet bc i always try to be the good one but what if this one mistake i have made is laso the#last mistake i make which it would edfinitely be the last bc i will throw myself into my pool and drown if im fired i cant affodr it#im gonna go throw up tbh#then try to find a way to caml down#rhen do teplies#bc i want other ppl to b ehappy even if um not#i feel sick#suicide cw#ishish#imc ant rneatje my lnjds hurt
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Slight panic attack,
Porcelain Face - Chapter 5
WARNING: Lilo&Stitch 2 spoilers (If you haven't watched it before)
-"So how about we go inside? Have you ever been to a porcelain store before, paper-boy?"
The guy in grey apron asked as the three of them walked into the warehouse of the shop.
-"Nope, and if you want to talk to me with a nickname it's actually cardboard boy." Virgil replied.
-"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, what's your name by the way?" The guy asked, a little nervously from the awkwardness of this conversation so far.
-"Its Virgil" The cardboard boy replied.
-"That's a lovely name you got there kiddo! I'm Patton! I'm the son of the owner of this store, cool right?" The guy so-called Patton said in a cheerful tone.
-"Yeah, yeah. Skip it, that's amazing that you guys finally know each other now but haven't we brought Vee here for a reason???" Ethan rolled his eyes.
-"Ooooh! Yeah! Explanations!" Patton finally replied.
-"Not ALL of the explanations, Pat." - the porcelain boy raised his voice a little with stress and worry.
The older one nodded quickly.
-"Soo.....Do you want to know about your mask?"
Virgil and Ethan both looked questionably at him.
Virgil's expression on his cardboard face obviously said that he indeed wanted to know more about it and the other boy was just waiting for the bomb to explode.
-"Well...I know it's magic but I don't know exactly where it came from, hehe...." Patton laughed nervously, scratching his cheek.
Ethan facepalmed his head then, Virgil though looked pretty confused and disappointed.
-"Guess we're staying here for the rest of the school time...right?" Virgil said, wanting to change the subject, what's the point of asking questions anyway if they won't tell you the answers.
-"Oh no no no! You're not staying in THIS place.
It's only for fixing Dee over here." he said pointing at the porcelain boy
"How about going to the cafe?" Patton suggested getting a glare from the porcelain boy for the nickname that was used in front of Virgil again.
-"You change your mind pretty quickly."the cardboard boy said.
-"Not wanting to be rude of course."
-"Nah, you're not.
He's just like this confused mom friend even if he declares himself a dad" Ethan simply said making the usually bubbly person huff in annoyance before smiling again and saying:
-"Welp, I may act like that sometimes but I do not have a feminine face like you, dear cousin." The older boy smirked as the younger one with heterochromia gasped offended.
-"That's not my fault! Let's just go to the cafe!"
Virgil giggled at their funny relationship, they got along pretty well.
It was a shame for him to be honest to not have any cousins or siblings....It felt so...lonely.
After they appeared at their destination Patton asked the boys what they wanted to get, since he was the one to buy the stuff.
Virgil wanted to deny but he looked at Ethan instead remembering he didn't eat.
Apparently Ethan forgot for a second as well before getting "angry" again.
-"I can't- You bastard! How dare you Patton?! Right in my face?" The porcelain boy exclaimed as both of them knew what he was talking about, they both laughed.
-"Your loss. Virgil will get your food then!" Patton simply said as Ethan crossed his arms, pretty pissed off at his miserable non-human being.
-"No, no I don't-"
Virgil tried explaining as Patton gasped before heading closer to the boy and whispering:
-"Please don't tell me you don't eat too."
-"No, it's just I don't want to inpose, please-" Virgil tried saying but Patton kept nagging him until he finally sighed in defeat and agreed.
As Patton went to buy the food and drinks there for a moment was silence between the two of the other boys until Ethan finally spoke up.
-"Sooo...You're really not ashamed of me being...you know?" He asked as the other boy shook his head pretty fast it could even fall of his neck.
-"No! Of course not! You're wonderful!" He tried defending the other who smiled softly at him.
-"Are you busy tonight?" The porcelain boy asked.
-"N-no? Why do you ask?" Virgil said.
-"Then I'm inviting you over! You can finally meet my queer-platonic mums!" He said exitedly before flushing in embarrassment for saying it out loud."
-"R-Really? They won't mind?" Virgil asked again, a little more shy this time but still with hope in his voice.
-"No, but there is another problem with them that you need to just ignore..."
-"What???" Virgil became a ball of confusion at this moment.
-"They ugh....Think we are a couple? How do you say it....They...ship us?"
-"What???? And why would I be a bout-" Virgil asked with an inside joke.
-"Well, it's not exactly a bout...."
-"I know what it means, dummy. I'm just playing with you to make it sound less awkward."
-"Well, that didn't help-" As Ethan was in his mid sentence he got cut off by Patton who just came back with the food."
-"DA FOOD IS HERE!" Patton happily exclaimed.
With that sentence The boy in vitligo did some hand gestures to Patton, probably the sign language as the boy in glasses glared at him and used the sign gestures back.
Ethan: "F-U-C-K O-F-F P-A-T"
Patton:"L-A-N-G-U-A-G-E"
-"What were you saying????" Virgil asked but instead of answering Ethan took the muffin from Patton's plate who clearly yelled at him as he shoved it in Virgil's face.
Unfortunately it didn't go through his mask as it was intended to.
Instead it made Virgil very uncomfortable.
-"Guess it broke, huh?" Ethan said.
-"I'll eat it later you idiot! Don't shove it in my mouth here if I can't eat it!" Now Virgil was really pissed at the other boy who now tried to apologize to him the best he could.
And it finally worked.
-"How about we go to Dee's house?" Patton suggested.
-"I already asked him that before, he agreed."
-"Yey!" Patton replied still as happy as ever.
-"But I need to get my things first-" Virgil said worriedly.
-"Oh right!" The both of them said in unison.
As Patton drove him off to his house to get his things.
His parents weren't home as usual....
After 10 bare minutes of packing he came back and popped in the car next to apparently Dee.
-"Why aren't you sitting next to Patton in the front sit?" Virgil asked curiously for why the other boy was sitting here when there was an empty sit in the front.
-"He knows why." Patton exclaimed rolling his eyes as Ethan stuck his tongue out at him.
-"Okay then..." The cardboard boy awkwardly replied.
After 10 minutes of driving or so, because Patton couldn't drive faster that 50mph.
[Ethan always woke up pretty early and run 5 km like it was nothing]
When they finally arrived Ethan went to knock on the door as he said:
"Mom C! Mamma D! I'm brought Pat and Virgil home!"
-"Pfff..Mom C, Mamma D?" Virgil said
-"Shut up" Ethan replied as two woman in the age of 30 or close came to the door.
One had light curly hair dyed the color red and as the author would describe African eyes as they were green with a big patch of hazel in the middle.
She also appeared to have a lot of freckles on her face.
She as well as Patton wore an apron but not for painting though as for cooking.
The other one looked more tomboy like, one could say.
She had pretty short but not too short dirty blonde hair, torquise eyes and a literal face of a duck.
She wore a black hoodie and stripped shirt under it, also having trainers and ripped jeans.
-"How's our not-born-from-either-of-us gay son doing?" They both said in unison as he sighed, Patton though giggled and Virgil just rolled his cardboard eyes playfully.
-"Ooooh! Is this your boyfriend you've been talking about?" Mamma D (Dominique) said.
-WHA-NO! HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND MOM!"
Ethan yelled, his face being the color of a tomato at least.
-"Not yet" Mom C (Caroline) said looking at a wall and winking to it.
[She breaks da fourth wall]
-"God..." Dee whined tiredly.
-"Auntie Caroline and Dominique are funny aren't they?" Patton exclaimed.
-"Um....." Virgil was almost silent, as he as well as Dee blushed madly.
-"Anyways, we are going to my room, what's for dinner?" Dee asked, not caring that he himself didn't eat, since the other two on the other hand did.
-"Mac n Cheese!" Dominique yelled.
-"Mmmm, my favorite!" Patton happily cheered.
-"God, I wish I could eat....It always looks so good..." The porcelain boy mumbled not expecting the comforting pat on the back from his hooded friend in the mask.
-"It's fine, though. I'm used to this torture." The boy exclaimed this time louder.
There was a moment of silence before Ethan asked both of them:
-"Hey guys, what do you want to play?" He said pointing at a giant stock of board and video games.
-"Jenga!" Patton exclaimed
-"Monopoly..?" Virgil said unsurely.
-"Virgie NOOOO I don't want to lose you!" Ethan whined holding the paperboy's hands with the pleading yet fake sadness on his face pretending to be dramatic again making the smaller one giggle.
-"Aww you guys are cute." Patton said, adoring the other two who flushed and moved away a few inches.
After some time of playing board games like dungeons and dragons, Jenga, Uno and Hot Patt-tato they were loosing up for a movie.
-"Oh, oh! Let's watch Bolt!" Patton yelled exitedly.
-"I'd rather watch Jungle Book, It's more classic." Dee criticized
-"What about...Lilo & Stitch?" Virgil suggested, still pretty shy though.
-"which part? I have all four, plus the series." Dee exclaimed.
-"Um....Maybe the second one?" Virgil said.
-"Okay then..."
When the dinner was finally ready they all stopped the movie to eat, except Ethan who didn't want to wait for them here and later getting teased on by Dominique and Caroline, Dee left, offended and flustered, then Virgil and finally Patton.
They got to the part in which Stitch couldn't control himself anymore and screwed stuff up, him and Lilo had a fight and later on Lilo went to play a role without him as he was even more broken.
This scene made them all sob, but not as much as when Stitch was put into the fixing machine as everyone thought it was too late for him.
Now they all fully cried. What was the most surprising was that it wasn't Patton who cried the most at the scene but Virgil.
Both Ethan and Patton tried to comfort him after watching the part.
Though there was happy ending so nothing really bad then..
-"Virgie, why did you pick a movie which would make you cry so much?" Ethan asked worriedly.
-"I just...wanted to see this part again...For some reason.."
-"Okay then..." The boy in vitligo signed.
-"Oh! Son, it was very nice to meet you and I'd be glad to adopt you as my own." Patton said with a loving stare at the masked boy.
-"Ummm....What?" Virgil asked, pretty confused now.
-"Shh..You're my baby now."
-"...Eth?" Virgil tried asking for help but none came since Ethan just gave the "shrug it off" motion.
After some time of eating snacks and talking, the porcelain boy checked the hour.
-"Oh shit we should probably go to sleep, guys."
-"Language, Dee." Patton rolled his eyes tiredly.
-"But it's only 2 AM in the morning?" Virgil asked as the other two gave him an unbelieving stare which made him regret saying this out loud.
-"Bed. Now" both of them said at the same time.
-"Nooooo" Virgil whined as he was being pulled by them to bed.
-"But my Tumblr-" he tried defending himself but for no use.
-"It won't fly away. Now sleep!" Ethan said in a worrying yet stern voice.
-"Um...I sort of have problems with that."
-"Shouldn't you put your mask away first? It's probably hurting your face no-" Patton asked yet being cut off by the younger boy in the cardboard mask.
-"NO!" Virgil yelled but put his hands to his mouth and gasped at his sudden outburst.
-"I'm so sorry, I- I didn't mean to-" he cried as Ethan came closer to him.
-"It's not your fault, it happens sometimes to every one of us.
Now do you want me to sing you a song? Maybe it will help you sleep, I don't know...."
The smaller boy nodded without any hesitation even to his own surprise making Ethan chuckle a little as he began to sing Welcome to Wonderland by Anson Seabra.
Which actually worked as his wonderful siren like voice lulled the cardboard boy to sleep.
They both then fell asleep on the porcelain boy's bed as Patton just signed, peacefully this time and went to the living room.
.
.
.
.
.
-"VIRGIL WAKE UP, WE OVERSLEPT!" The voice broke the amazing silence as the boy in the bed hissed lazily not caring.
-"Virgil please, we need to go! Or I'm taking your mask off." Ethan fake-threatend.
Virgil then suddenly flicked from the bed "energized as ever"
Or rather anxious as ever.
As they both sat in the car and run as fast as they could to the classroom...
And there was a new student.
#ts patton#ts virgil#ts deceit#sanders sides#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides au#patton sanders#virgil sanders#deceit sanders#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic virgil
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