#varying levels of asshole to her :(

[essenceofarda]

OF BLESSED THYME & THISTLE | Chapter 1 | Page 5

Masterlist of Pages

Faramir’s cousin, Lothiriel, comes to Minas Tirith to become a companion of his new bride, Eowyn, something that he hopes will ease Eowyn’s rough transition into Gondorian Society. Eowyn, for her part, decides her new companion would in turn make the perfect bride for her brother, Eomer King of Rohan. Matchmaking shenanigans ensue 😏

When the aunties pull no punches 😳😖 Poor Eowyn lol

I'm actually kinda super proud of how this page turned out LOL

[monakisu]

I want you to know that I came across a random post of your Death Note art, went "Awww, oh my gosh, with the way this person draws Light I think Akechi would look fantastic in the same style!", clicked onto your profile, and then saw your newest artwork was Akechi. I'm still kind of cackling over it and thought maybe you'd find it funny too. Your art is SO cute, I'm very happy I found it <333

HAHA THAT’S AMAZING (<< was an akechi artist wayyyy before i fell head over heels for light)

but rlly… theyre so similar:

- brunet

- asshole

- pretty boy

- mass murderer

- black-haired homoerotic rival

at the end of the day, the key difference is one is a top and the other is a bottom.

ok but seriously, they’re vastly different characters on a fundamental level:

- light was handed everything him on a silver platter: family, friends, looks, intellect, a comfortable life… as a bastard child of a sex worker and now an orphan, goro had to fight his way to his current position and will always harbor a terrible sense of inferiority (light is completely confident in his absolute superiority, Always (that’s why the challenge of L sent him off the deep end of obsession lol))

- light genuinely sees himself as a hero, while goro would like to feel the same but is nonetheless depressingly aware of his villain’s journey (his undesirable position as the detective vs the underdog phantom thieves, his string of assassinations, his ultimate dirty bloody goal, etc.).

- light’s motive is about the world’s salvation, cleansing, the birth of his ideal reality (very messianic of him with the slightest loving tinge of mary cradling her lamb hahaha) while goro is laser-focused on ruining this one asshole’s life in particular, vengeance and revenge at once! one’s focused on rebirth, and the other gunning straight for death! they both use murder to get what they want but light probably floats around thinking himself so clean and divine as mother of the world (ignorance is bliss) while goro is constantly desperately trying to cover up his suspiciously red hands with his gloves hehehe… they’re both constantly striving for perfection, just with varying levels of self-awareness!!

- goro is a canonical loner; light has a horde of friends; this is probably due to a difference in public persona! goro is an untouchable idea of what he thinks a human should be and is completely out of the loop when it comes to normal social interactions (believes opening with hegel will instantly endear himself to the average person (luckily he inflicted that upon akira who is decidedly not average in the slightest)), light is implied to be more down-to-earth and even slightly goofy (he’s gaming decorum like an advanced speedrunner)! it’s probably good how distant goro is, because getting any closer to him will allow you to see how off-putting and uncanny he is, sorta like an AI-generated image—seams in the wrong places and far too much teeth LOL. meanwhile light has this whole shebang so thoroughly figured out that he’s BORED with it all! he’d like to move on to the next game (with L), thank you!! light definitely still exudes uncanny creepiness (it’s his natural state of being) especially when he zones out or starts hysterically cackling out of nowhere at his own thoughts, but he’s a hundred times better at masking compared to goro due to a better upbringing. goro is starved for the adoring friends he sees akira easily picking up one after another; light couldn’t give less of a shit because he’s always had those trivial luxuries! he’d much rather prefer an adoring WORLD!!

- then there’s the difference in how they die… one started out surrounded with company but ultimately died alone, while it’s the opposite for the other (if you count the de-realization of maruki’s reality as goro’s “death” (which i don’t)).

- in conclusion, light and goro are like funhouse mirror reflections of each other!!! one is a pampered lapdog getting a taste of rabies and letting loose, while the other is a starving wolf trying to domesticate itself for treats and headpats!! and i <3 them both!!!!!

anyways i may be wrong about light because im going purely off of fics, tumblr shitposts, and my own imagination :] feel free to school me in a way that won’t destroy my delusions!

[poppitron360]

Things that we accept as canon but is never addressed in the book (varying levels of silliness):

Piper is a Chappel Roan fan (accurate though)

Jason behaves a bit like a wolf and has wolf traits

Leo’s body temp is warmer than everyone else

Percy can’t let go of the “Not my type” thing

Leo went back to Calypso bc “he knows what it’s like to feel abandoned” stfu that’s never talked about in the books he only goes back bc she’s hot and can do weaving and I hate it. This one actually makes me so angry. It’s something the fandom made up to compensate for shitty writing and the way Cal is only valued bc of her prettiness just shows how PJO was written by a man-

Leo always wears a white shirt and suspenders and never his army jacket which was canonically his favourite outfit

Nico is obsessed with happy meals instead of just feeding them to the dead.

Octavian is specifically sexist and not just a general asshole (probably true though)

Leo totally invented demigod-safe phones

[borahaerhy]

Regime - one || myg

Summary: Everything is dull. Your job, your hobbies, your downtime: everything is just dull. That is, until your workplace is raided by the anti-capitalist organization run by the notorious Agust D.

Pairing: Ringleader!Yoongi x NewRecruit!Fem!Reader

Genre: Anti-Capitalist Gang au, Found Family, Smut, Angst

Series Warnings: anti-capitalism! mental illness, some gang violence, unaliving, smut, hella angst, drug/alcohol usage, very fowl language

Warnings: y/n uses all the self-defense, quite literally bites a chunk out of someone's hand, everyone has a gun, there are a few hostages, Yoongi kicks someone in the face, y/n very casually holds a gun to someone's head, references to y/n's childhood being... interesting (relatives' drug usage briefly mentioned), Yoongi's tries to manipulate y/n for like 2 seconds, y/n definitely has depression, someone gets murdered, Yoongi almost exclusively goes by Agust, References to Nick being hella shitty, what the fuck is going on with Kevin?

Wordcount: 3.2k

Previous | Next

It was odd. 

The parking lot of your job being completely empty had only happened on one other occasion that you could recall; that was because it was Easter, and everyone had gone home early. 

But today was different. It wasn’t a holiday, and there should have been plenty of work to get done; yet there was no one. Not a single car in the parking lot. As you drove past, you turned your attention to the side of the building, where security parked. You pulled into the space beside the empty car of one of your coworkers, Nick. 

But it’s ten minutes until shift change; first shift should still be here. Did Nick let them leave early for some reason? Aside from yours and Nick's, there was only one other car in the entire lot. A black SUV parked haphazardly beside Nick's car; and it was still running.

While all of this might scream “danger” to others that would have seen it, to you, while it was weird, that's all it was: weird. It’s a relatively small company; one where there were so few employees that they were all friends. Everyone knew everyone and they often all liked to fuck with one another, maybe this was just some kind of prank. 

While the company was small, it was also one that had no problem fucking over its employees when it comes to their paychecks; even whenever the company execs wanted to come in and check the place out, they certainly never would’ve listened to any complaints about pay. 

You cautiously walked up to the door and punched in the pin before you opened the door and stepped in. As you closed the door behind you, you realized that you walked into something you definitely wished you hadn’t. 

Tied up in the middle of the floor was the owner of the building, and the one who ran this branch of the company, Kevin, along with the guy supposed to work your shift with you, Nick. They were completely surrounded by men in black, all of them with guns pointed at the two men's heads. Kevin looked like he just got into a fight and lost; blood covering him, his nose crooked while Nick had a swollen lip. In front of them, there was just one man, but as soon as your eyes had adjusted to the dark building, all of them were looking at you. 

Seconds after you walked in, your arms were pinned behind your back and a hand covered your mouth. “Just make sure she doesn’t go anywhere for a second, I have to deal with this asshole before I talk to her,” 

While as a security officer, you hadn’t been formally trained in any kind of combat, you did grow up with uncles. A lot of them, and they would all get varying levels of high and various substances and decide that you needed to know how to defend yourself. 

So while the man that spoke, the one standing in front of Nick and Kevin kicks Nick in the chin - no doubt knocking out a few of his teeth - you stamped down on the foot of the man behind you and bit a chunk of flesh from his hand clean off. He screamed, letting go of you so you could turn around and knee him in the groin as one of your hands took the gun out of his side holster and held it to his head. 

You stood beside him, facing the group of people with one hand holding the gun to his head while the other was up, level with your head to show you weren't armed more than what they could see. You spit out the chunk of flesh that you still had in your mouth, mostly for dramatic effect, and slowly moved your free hand down to wipe the blood from your lips. 

Everyone was staring at you, even the boss was staring at you with a kind of intensity that would’ve been hard for anyone to withstand. “You can finish whatever you were doing, I’m not going anywhere, I just don’t really like people touching me,” Your hand was back up next to your head, but no one moved. All the men just looked back and forth between their boss and you, and Kevin and Nick both looked like they’d just been saved. 

The one that just kicked your coworker, the one you presumed to be the boss, started walking toward you. He moved slowly and carefully as he pulled each of the weapons he had on him, showed them to you carefully, before he threw them down on the ground. He pulled one last weapon from the inside of his boot, a small pocket knife, and threw it to the ground, too, as he stopped a few feet in front of you. 

“I’m unarmed, and so is he. I would appreciate it if you put the gun down,” He spoke calmly, eyebrows raised and hands up. While it was hard to think of where he’d be hiding a seventeenth weapon, you also wouldn’t put it past the man that just pulled sixteen weapons off his person to have a secret compartment in the bottom of his shoe. 

Your eyes narrowed as you looked at him, his face covered with a ski-mask like the rest of them, only his eyes visible to you; dark brown pools of honey that bore into you, but they weren’t as harsh or intimidating as you would’ve thought someone like him to be. They were soft, almost gentle as they moved back and forth between yours.

“You might not be, but they are,” You looked over at the men that surrounded your coworker and boss, his gaze following yours. 

“They’re not going to do anything, you’re not the target here; they are. Just put the gun down and we can talk,” You looked carefully at him, then at the people behind him, before you slowly raised the hand with a gun in it, before crouching down slightly and slid it across the ground, making sure it was well out of reach of anyone before you stood again. 

“Kay, come get Mars and clean him up for me, everyone else, don’t let them move a muscle,” He was facing his men as he spoke, but turned back to you once he’d finished. “You probably know this place better than I do, so I’ll let you lead the way,” You looked over to the door to one of the conference rooms briefly, before you looked back over to him, Kay already collection Mars from off the ground beside you. 

“That room there would work fine, I’ll meet you in there but I need to get my water out of my bag,” He looked you up and down skeptically, about to say something before you cut him off again. “It’s just to rinse your friends hand out of my mouth, I’ll leave the bottle out here,” He paused slightly, then nodded once, stepping toward the door you’d just referenced to. You moved slowly as you got your water from your bag, rinsing out your mouth thoroughly before you took one last gulp and swallowed it. You put the bottle back down and headed into the room. 

“You can have the chair, I’ll stand,” He gestured to the only chair in the room as he leaned against the table across from you. You crossed your arms and leaned against the door. 

“I’m good with standing,” He nodded briefly before he took his mask off, revealing his admittedly handsome face to you. 

“My name is Agust, I’m the leader of the group of people out there with your coworkers. We’re here because Kevin, the owner of this branch has been stealing from his employees to pad his own pockets-”

“And why’s Nick out there?” You asked, trying not to let your anger show too much, but your not sure how successful you were judging by the look on his face. 

“Nick’s here because when he pulled in, I had my guy out in the parking lot run his tags and we found him to be… a really shitty person, to put it mildly,” You swallowed thickly, feeling almost a sense of relief that your suspicions were right, and you weren’t just overthinking about him.  

“Yeah, that checks out,” You nodded, looking down at your feet as you let your arms fall, sliding them into your pockets. “So why are you here? Kevin likes to fuck over his employee’s, sure, that’s shitty, but what’s in it for you?” He looked you up and down again, as if trying to gauge whether or not you were worthy of knowing this information or not. 

“I’ll tell you, eventually, but I have a few questions of my own first,” He crossed his arms as he stood straighter. 

“Like?” 

“Your name, for starters,” You laughed slightly, extra air flying out of your nostrils as you smirked lightly and cocked your head to the side. 

“Ah, so I’m supposed to believe that you had someone run Nick’s plates but not mine?” It was his turn to smirk, his head falling slightly as he nodded. 

“Alright, Y/n. Let’s get really into it, then,” His demeanor changed, the once kind eyes now seemed to drop their facade, his face bore a cocky smirk and his overall presence was that of a leader. Someone calm and collected, even when his initial plan was swept off it’s feet; he still knew exactly what his next step would be. “Why are you pretending you don’t care about Kevin fucking over his employees?” 

Your own attitude changes slightly as he forces you out of your facade the same way you did his. Your shoulders dropped slightly as you felt all the color drain from your face. You cleared your throat a stood up a little straighter, trying to mimic his own attitude. “Because I’d like to know a little more about you and your organization; I already knew Kevin was a piece of shit, I don’t need you, or anyone else to tell me that,” 

His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked you up and down again. There was something about the way he was looking at you, as if he was trying to see into your mind, see what you were thinking. “Why would it matter who I am if I want to bring someone like him to justice?” You sighed as you changed your stance slightly as you tried to think of a way to explain. 

“It matters because all you’d have to do to get me on your side is tell me what Kevin’s done, how long he’s been doing it, and what you plan to do about it; and I’d probably agree with you based purely off my emotions rather than if I actually agree with you or not. But if I know who you are, what you and your group are capable of, and what you plan on doing in the future, I can judge you based on logic; wether you’re inherently shitty or not.” A knowling smile seeps across his features, an almost proud look as he listened to you speak. 

“And why would I want you to agree with me, princess?” You scoffed, although you were far from offended; knowing the game he was playing. 

“I’ve seen your face and I know that you’re the leader;  not to mention the chunk of DNA that belongs to your friend still wedged between my teeth, and how it got there. Either you have to find a way to get rid of me, or recruit me,” He looks impressed as he steps down from the table and takes a small step toward you. 

“Let me re-introduce myself. My name is Yoongi, and I’m the leader of an anticapitalist organization. We steal from the rich, especially the ones that make a game out of fucking their employees out of the money they worked hard for. I don’t want to get rid of you, as you put it, because that’d be a waste; but I don’t want to recruit you just because you took a chunk out of one of my best man’s hands - or because you took his gun from him like it was nothing, or because I know you have plenty reason to want to fuck over the same people that have fucked you and your family,” He paused, taking another small step toward you, now standing less than a foot away from you.

“I want to recruit you because you’re scared shitless right now,” His voice was much lower, a serious tone filling the space between you as the smirk was gone from his face. “You still don’t know if I have a weapon on me, or if I’m going to let you out of here alive, or if we’ve hurt any of your friends or coworkers. But here you stand, speaking to me as confidently as someone that knows they’re more powerful than me,” His eyes bore into yours as if he could see your entire life laid out on a platter with just one glance.

“So, Y/n,” He took a step back, arms crossed over his chest confidently as he looked at you almost sweetly. “You’re not who we were after, and I don’t find you to be a threat to us. So, you’re free to go, if you want. You don’t have to worry about us following you or keeping tabs on you; you can just go home, go on with your life and forget this ever happened.” He paused, looking you up and down. "Or,” He leaned back against the table, one leg crossed over the other. 

“You can come with us,” You stood silently for a moment, eyes only leaving Yoongi when he finished speaking. You pushed yourself from the door and took a few steps over to the window and looked out of it, taking in the world as you had been seeing it for the past several months, before you closed your eyes, drinking in the inky black that the cover that your eyelids provide. 

You’d noticed that everything looks different throughout different phases of my life; as if there are filters over your eyes that change the colors and shadows in accordance to how you’re feeling. Some memories are all cool-toned, some warm. Some memories look yellowed, like they’d been tea-stained while others seemed more vibrant and vivid than anything else you’d ever seen. 

For the past couple of months, everything’s been dull. The world’s almost been in grey-scale as you try to find a purpose; try to find something to do with yourself. Nothing looks or feels like it used to; but for the first time in months, you are scared. You’re terrified. You smile as you relish in the feeling, the first true, raw emotion you’d felt in months.  

When you open your eyes, there’s color in the world again. The trees dance in the wind with various shades of red and orange and brown; the sky beyond them littered with soft purple hues as the sun was already beginning to set into the autumn sky.

“What happens if I decide to go with you?” You turn to look at him as you finish speaking, a light smirk on his lips before he turns to face you. 

“You come back to our base with us, we show you around, show you the ropes, and figure out how you’d best assist us. Then, if you decide you want to leave, you can. If you still want to have your job here and go back to your home and just help us out on the weekends, you can. You can also live with us and work with us full-time; but no matter what, I’d be sending you home tonight. This is something you need to think over.” You nodded again, still trying to take everything in.

“And as far as Kevin goes, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” You shook your head and raised your hands, stopping him from saying anything further. 

“I don’t want to know anything about what he did,” Yoongi nodded as he looked at you almost empathetically. “But, I’ll uhm, I’ll go with you,” His facial expression softened lightly as he smiled at you. 

Your relief very quickly changed when he reached behind his back and pulled out yet another gun and out the barrel right next to your head and pulled the trigger, shooting through the wall behind you. The sound was deafening but you didn’t flinch, your eyes never leaving his as his smirk grew wider yet. 

“Wait here, Princess. I’ll come back to get you in a few minutes,” He pulled the mask back down over his face before he opened the door and stepped out, all eyes suddenly on him. “She had a real fucking mouth on her, didn’t she?” Yoongi sauntered back over to where his captives were tied up, gun casually swinging in his grasp as he walks. 

“Kept talking about her mom; something about her still being alive if only she’d gotten her benefits like she was supposed to,” He kneeled down in front of Kevin, using the barrel of the gun to point at him. “That sound familiar to you, Kev?” Kevin was shaking, eyes wide as they bounced back and forth between the gun and Agust, who was only smirking at the terrified face of his captive. 

“Cat got your tongue? Nick?” At his lack of response, Agust moved the gun from Kevin to Nick, the barrel now only inches from his head. “Do you know anything about that?” Nick shook his head wildly, eyes clenched shut as tears spilled out of them. 

It pissed him off how scared they acted. He had a gun to their heads and they just bawled like babies; as if they hadn’t done the same thing time and time again to others. Kevin took money away from people that needed it. Money that he definitely didn’t need; and in doing so, he took away not only financial stability, but the lives of the people that depended on that money.

And while Nick didn’t steal from the poor like Kevin did, that didn’t make him any less of a piece of shit. He’d been accused of many crimes in his life; including attempted manslaughter, statutory rape, and several different domestic violence charges, but he’d never been convicted of any of them. There was never even a trial, just complaints dropped the day after they were filed, along with several very large transactions coming out of his obscenely rich father’s bank account. 

So watching them sit here and sob when their lives were threatened, knowing fully that they’ve put others in this very situation with their greed and ignorance enraged him. August pressed the gun to Nick’s temple and pulled the trigger, blood spraying all over Kevin's face in the process. 

Kevin screamed, loud sobs filling the warehouse that only pissed him off more. “Shut up, would you?” The gun was back under Kevin’s chin, his sobs silencing almost instantly as the gun forced him to look up. “I’m not going to kill you,” He took his time pulling the gun away from Kevin, eventually putting it into the waistband of his jeans before he carefully stood, his gaze already on the door you were behind as his men pulled Kevin up and dragged him out to their car. “Not yet, anyway.” 

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @bangtan4everr @angrydonutzonkpickle @secfir @useryoonmin @idkjustlovingbts

[lemony-and-zesty]

Angsty question, but how does every react to the scars? And does he ever tell them how he got some of them?

Ohhh man that’s a rough one,,

Here’s what I’m thinking!

The whole Floyd situation goes by a little too quickly for anyone to really,, acknowledge John’s scars. Like, I know for a fact that they all clock them, when they see him. But,, I think they’re a little to distracted with trying to find each other and save Floyd to say anything.

So, I’m thinkin that not long after they save Floyd and he recovers, they all confront JD about it.

Just very much a, “We’re just worried about you John, you’ve.. changed so much. And we wanna help you!”

“What? And you guys haven’t changed? It’s been twenty years! We’ve all changed!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that!”

Que a big fight where John Dory gets extremely overwhelmed and finally can’t hold it in anymore and bursts out with, “I’ve killed people, ok? Is that what you wanna hear?? That’s what I’ve been doing!”

Dead silence.

“Is that.. how you got those then?”

…

“Not.. all of them.”

And at their silent prompting, he starts explaining his scars. Which leads to him explaining the entire situation. And his brothers are devastated.

They nearly take off to the city to try and kill the boss once JD gets to the scar on his neck.

Once the truth is out, the four become very protective over John Dory - much to his chagrin.

Can you imagine your whole deal being that you’re the oldest and you protect your youngest siblings but you never let anyone help you, and suddenly your baby brothers are jumping to your defense at any potential inconvenience - no matter how small?

————

Branch doesn’t fully forgive him - hell, she still doesn’t fully forgive any of them for leaving her behind - but she feels like she understands John Dory a bit more now.

————

Bruce is horrified that his only older brother - his best friend growing up - had gone through all this. He’s aware that of the five of them, he’s likely the one who had it the easiest, and he can’t help but feel guilty about it sometimes.

Can’t help but feel guilty for giving John the cold shoulder when they first reunited.

————

Clay has so many mixed feelings about it. Seeing his oldest brother so,,, broken, for lack of a better word,, crushed him.

For so many years, John Dory’s been this untouchable, cocky asshole in his mind. To find out that he’s not so unbreakable,, really throws everything Clay thought he knew out the window.

He doesn’t fully forgive John Dory, but he’s not so mad at him anymore.

————

Floyd is ruined by the news. Especially when he finds out about the neck scar.

He can’t help but blame himself, cause if JD hadn’t let him go then that boss never would have… God he could have died and Floyd might have never known.

“Is.. is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Floyd cries. He cries about it a lot. He encourages John to cry as well - to varying levels of success.

He tries to make up for it, much to John’s confusion. It’s a very one-sided blaming haha,,

————

But yea, that’s the main thoughts I have for it!! Thank you for the ask 🥹

[spicyraeman]

Yknow what? Nah imma do a mini rant anyway, I think its a GOOD THING that lae'zel is 'nicer' to you the higher your approval is.

Wanna know why? Cuz shes blunt and pragmatic and her morals are very different from those on faerun, but she's rarely ever mean to people who she respects and who respect her. Gale and Karlach come to mind specifically you vary rarely hear her snark at them, bc there's a level of respect between them. She an asshole to both Shadowheart and Astarion at first bc they're sneaky shit stirrers who constantly antagonize her, but even then later in the game (depending on how you play) she gains a level of respect for both of them.

Why would she be needlessly rude to a person she's on multiple occasions put her trust in and respects.

^ This ^ is line that people are getting so worked up about?? Its so neutral and military I don't know how anybody thinks that's somehow out of character?? You've gone so far down the "women should be allowed to be mean" route that you've forgotten that they should also be a multidimensional character

[deafeninggalaxycandy]

✨️CRAIG TUCKER✨️

these hcs are incredibly based on my brother jake, he's autistic and acts a lot like Craig. also craig has so many fucking hcs already made of him, i tried so hard to be original here. Enjoy <3

• Craig Adriano Tucker

• He/Him

• Born on January 25th 2003

• 6'2"

• Bisexual (male preference)

• Half Irish on his dad's side, Peruvian on his mother's side. She died when he was around 2, and Thomas remarried to Laura when Craig was 5. Later on, they had Tricia, which makes her and Craig half-siblings.

• Has Level 1 ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder or "Aspergers Syndrome") and got diagnosed at 9. Also has dyslexia (reading disability) and dysgraphia (writing disability)

• Loves his grandmother because she's the only one who really talks to him about his Peruvian heritage and is the only remainder he has of his mom. He also resents his father over this because in his grief, tried to basically bury any and all memories of Craig's mom.

• Still dating Tweek. He was always secretly into guys but had a lot of internalized homophobia. Also he didn't know what bisexual meant so he assumed he was only into girls for a while.

• His chullo eventually got too small for his head so his grandmother knitted him another one and he gave his old one to Tricia.

• Eventually grew out of watching Red Racer and moved onto Star Trek, Star Wars and Game of Thrones. However he has a Red Racer t-shirt he bought as a kid that he wore all the time. When he grew out of it, he framed it and hung it up on his wall.

• Has a toy car collection on his shelf above his bed that he carefully arranged by height, size, weight, and color.

• Needed braces in 8th grade all the way until sophomore year of high school. His teeth were really bad because he refused to brush his teeth. The texture of toothpaste makes him wanna vomit. During this time, he didn’t talk a lot because he was embarrassed. Tricia certainly didn't help, by the way. She called him "train tracks" the entire time.

• Builds LEGO sets with Tweek.

• Huge astronomy nerd. He talks about space for hours and hours at a time. He's spent a lot of time thinking about things like which planets would be the most habitable, where stars come from, the existence of aliens and studying dark matter and dark energy. And he talks about all of this to Tweek, literally the only person who cares and is willing to listen. Or Stripe, if Tweek isn't around.

• Calls Airheads Xtremes Belts "gay bacon". He's being serious too, he thinks that’s what they're called.

• Atheist and believes in the Big Bang theory as well as evolution.

• Drinks Pepsi. That’s it. Only Pepsi, no water. He has to be forced to drink water. (another reason why his teeth are bad)

• Interested in capybaras, guinea pigs, hamsters, rodents in general.

• Does not answer most texts, or calls or even emails. It's on purpose too, he leaves almost everybody on read.

• Argues with Tricia like 24/7 usually over incredibly small stuff. Also Tricia is just really mean, she likes to mess with him for no reason. This can vary from harmless pranks to straight up abusing him randomly. However, Craig simply ignores her or just shoves her out of the room. He refuses to like physically fight her and will kick the shit out of anyone who hurts her. He's also usually trying to keep her from doing something dangerous. Or away from Tweek because she steals all his attention.

• Used to be called an asshole by everyone for just speaking his mind. He still is but he just doesn't care anymore.

• Listens to Artic Monkeys, The Neighborhood, and Cigarettes After Sex.

• Best friends with Clyde and Kenny.

• Craig doesn't really care about most things, so it's really hard to get him mad, but he likes to fight people for fun, which was why he was labeled as violent.

• Has glow in the dark star stickers on his walls and ceiling arranged like constellations.

• Ultimate grudge holder, he's still a little mad at the boys for getting him sent to Peru.

• Actually enjoys playing baseball but didn't want to be seen as "lame".

• Not much of a picky eater. He just hates when the food touches. He also doesn't like smooth, creamy textures, he likes crunchy food and noisily eats just to hear it better. The sound of something crunching tickles his brain.

• Always looks like he's pissed off even when he's perfectly content or happy he looks ready to fight someone. Clyde actually finds this hilarious.

Guys, I am a big supporter of adopted Peruvian Craig, but I made him mixed simply bc my face claim for him doesn't match up. Also, it explains why he doesn't really care when someone insults his "mom."

My baby Tweekers up next!! I just left the hospital and I'm sore as fuck but I'm mostly fine.

he's so relatable honestly.

[chizups]

Am new to your tumblr (got drawn here by your pretty ocs (✿◡‿◡)) and I hope that has not been asked before but: What are your opinions on each individual Seed? And what do your OCs think about them? I always think it is interesting to see where opinions are the same or differ (●'◡'●)

Welcome! Feel yourself at home 😊

Oh, boi, do I keep my unhinged to myself when answering that? I guess we'll see. When I just got through my first FC5 run, I didn't find John to be that interesting (I didn't understand at the time really), Jacob was absolutely terrifying in a best way possible for a character to be, and Joseph became most intriguing to me, which is the case still: I am enamored with his whole character, but the more I get to know about him, the less I understand WHY, because he is infuriating, but he also keeps my underwear wet, and it's harder to say WHY by the minute 😂😅

Now that I spent some time looking into these characters, I see them a bit differently and I love them even more. Jacob was somehow the easiest for me to comprehend. I really like him as a character, and his villain image was shining even brighter when I played New Dawn: there, looking at twins, I realized for myself how intimidating Jacob actually was. I really like him as a brother/father figure, as a protector and I sorry about his fate. Can't say I would have anything to tell him, no words can fix a man like that I feel. At least none of mine. The only support I could've give is maybe hold his hand. He was a fighter and deserved better from the very start.

John opened to me with time, or rather was opened to me by people who know their shit about psychology😆 I thought he just have brain damage or something, but what escaped me at the start is his complicated set of traumas. But I know now... Again, I am very sorry about his fate, I pity him as a child, he did not deserve what he got. But John is an adult, and he is a lot. Here's my level of unhinged starts growing, because as much as I love John, I want to slap him, or stab him, or dismember him and eat his parts, while keeping him alive, I... Y'know? Normal stuff. I also have a set of my own psy problems that makes me feel a certain way about men like John: John Duncan (as well as Seed I guess at least at the start of the project) for the eyes of unknowing person would be too good to be true and therefore unworthy of trust, that means any other handsome, educated and charismatic man is untrustworthy. John Seed fucking triggers me, I feel unwanted every time I look at him, but I like him as a character nonetheless. Fuck this brat💖

Faith has impressed me by the control she has over The Bliss, it's fascinating. But she doesn't stick to my mind like brothers do, I kind of sorry about it. She is clearly a puppet, and though I pity her, and I think she is the one that was actually the closest to possible saving, I do not care that much. I'd say I wish to protect her from Joseph's influence, but it seems I got into this trap myself.

Fucking Joseph... Love. I love this man. I do this basically all the time��

He intrigued me from the first sight, and I even envy him in some sense. But I see him more clearly now. Started after FC6 Collapse DLC, where my desire to throw this man off a cliff grew with every phrase spoken in the game. This manic asshole... The infuriating thing is, I am an aggressive scaredy cat who IRL does not trust people or religious nature easily in general, but I FUCKING KNOW Joseph would wrap me around his finger, and I hate it. And I still enamored with him.

Imagining him being chained in my basement or thrown off a cliff is an erotic fantasy by now. I am so normal about him, you can't imagine...

***

My OCs think... a lot. There's a few Alternative Universes that vary their opinions a bit because of dynamics changing and switching, but overall it stays the same.

It really all started with Dina, I played ND and needed an avatar to express my opinions, though she quickly evolved into her own character. Dina Sommer is very loyal to Jacob in every story, she won't sleep herself to guard his peace, she won't eat if he has no food in his plate. In her eyes he is the best human being, she relies on him and is devoted to keep him safe. Dina respects Joseph. To a degree. He is not higher in her hierarchy than Jacob by any means and even more than that, with time Dina starts seeing Joseph as a threat to her commander's wellbeing therefore she doesn't like him in the slightest, though she won't talk about for obvious reasons. John and Dina barely meet and talk, and it was decided that they won't know what to do in each other's presence, because they both are fucking children. Let's say whatever opinion of John Jacob is translating to Dina, it is the exact one Dina has. Dina and Faith do not really know each other.

Salome Ann Clock is a caring soul, so no matter if my story of the day is angst or fluff, she tries to look for common ground and be a peace maker, to bring comfort to others, even when she is herself broken. She is able to find some pity in herself for Faith, respect for Jacob, forgiveness and compassion for John, but she is terrified of Joseph. Even in Twisted Untitled where she is married to him, Salome sees him as an idol first and foremost and is afraid of what he does to people and her, physically or mentally. Her basic was that she did not plan on killing so many people and Seeds too. Salome wanted to arrest them. To bring justice by the law, yes, but also because she wanted to do the right thing and save them. To realize she all this time was kept alive by Joseph's word alone was crushing to her.

My favorite warframe-witch-fairy-feetless-mystical-woman Wisp is enamored with Joseph, trusted most of the things he said for a very long time, they are very close friends. She is sorry for all his losses, loves him dearly despite understanding that he is sometimes goes too far. She is also the only character that can actually push that fucker around without consequences, and I love it for her. Because sometimes she actually does. She tries to protect his image in some sense, like a sober wife talks about her drunk husband, that she loves very much, but still embarrassed by him: he is not that bad, she swears, she'll grab him by the neck later if it makes you feel any better about the situation. Wisp respects Jacob very much since he is a soldier, hence a weapon, like she is, but because he is absolutely closed to her mental reach, they barely interact, which saddens her, but she accepts it as it is. Faith is Wisp's favorite girl, she is impressed by the Bliss control just like I am. They are definitely girlfriends on easy mode, but Joseph doesn't need to know it, hehe. If situation occurs, where Joseph and Faith will be in danger at the same time, there is a high possibility that Wisp will try to protect Faith first instead of running to Joseph. Wisp's relationship with John has two options: in any other story he is just a member of the family Wisp protects, because it is Joseph's family, but they are not even friends, bc John doesn't trust her; in Seeds & Witches however Wisp is John's long time friend, a nanny you could say, he trusts her 120%, and she cares for him like she never carried for Joseph even in any other story, John is her little mew mew baby princess boi💝

Recent addition to my group of cunts is Restless Mina. Originally started in Seeds & Witches, she is mostly indifferent in relation to all Seeds there, but Twisted Untitled helped me develop her, and it happens so she is in many ways a mirror image of John, so they are not very friendly to each other, but their hostility has more of a rival aspect than if they were actual enemies. Mina likes him, but hates to admit it, she teases and taunts him often just to make him mad. It is mutual. However this is a way for them to support each other, since they are not the same just as is, but in Joseph's eye as well, receiving the same treatment from him. Joseph wakes many complicated feelings in Mina, she is afraid of him, but sees no other light on her dark path, so runs to him when in need of a good word of wisdom. Which is often. She is also intrigued by Jacob and respects him highly, though is not very sure herself why that is. She is however tied to John (he introduces her to religion) and almost prohibited from visiting the mountains. So there's not much she can express about the older brother. Mina doesn't understand Faith, her field of work and influence is very confusing to the point of being scary to Mina, therefore she does not hold very high opinion about the sister.

I think that is all❣️

[kitkatopinions]

I love when anti-rwde posters unintentionally say things that seem rwde lol. Here are my favorites so far:

The always good "Ironwood was always clearly an evil dictator" If this were true it would make the show worse than I already think it is, because not only did Team RWBY willingly work with him without any sort of recognition that it might be bad of them, but the writers have also talked about Ironwood's good intentions and the fall to villainy and how they wanted V7 to have no clear bad guy.

Whenever someone dismisses any early season as unimportant or something that no longer matters. Like, my guy, they're all supposed to matter and make up a good story together.

The people that say that the Blake and Yang ship is the exact same as Blake x Sun as a reason for why people who ship Blake with Sun but not Yang are wrong. Idk if they realize characters and dynamics are meant to be different and interesting.

The people who find redesigns of Yang where she's wearing clothing that's either the exact same level of 'modest' as the show or actually less sexualized and yell about how re-writers always overly sexualize Yang.

The people that defend every Jaune scene by saying he's just as much of a main character as Ruby. Like yes thank you for proving our point lol.

The people that constantly say important things just happen off screen. Things like main characters being friends, communicating important plot details to each other, showing grief at terrible deaths, unlearning racism... The more stuff people say happened off screen the more unintentionally insulting I think they're being because instead of saying "It was a mistake, they didn't have time, or they forgot" it's "they willfully didn't include it because they couldn't be bothered."

The people that say it's a good thing the entirety of Atlas was destroyed. Like personally I think the show could've done better at making Atlas and Mantle more varied but actually DID make it clear there were working class people and Faunus and good people just trying to make it that lived in Atlas and didn't deserve to lose everything. But apparently these people believe everyone in Atlas was some rich selfish asshole who deserved it and that would be very flimsy and bad writing.

The people who say that "drinking the tea" and "going to the tree" in V9 is actually just a metaphor for therapy. Like I know that Ruby essentially tried to commit suicide in V9. But I guess what they think what happened is that Neo was beating up Ruby while trying to make her get therapy, and everyone being a moment too late was them not arriving in time to stop Ruby from going to therapy, and when she fell down into the darkness that was symbolic of driving to her therapist's office, and when Yang was worried that Ruby wouldn't be herself anymore she actively was unhappy that Ruby was at therapy. Like how much worse written would V9 be if I actually believed what they did? XD

The people that insist that everything in RWBY was part of some super well thought out 'planned from the beginning' thing. Not only is that actually not a flex with a show that feels more disjointed, rushed, and ill-thought through with every season, but it's actively not what the writers say half the time when they do things like talk about how they 'wrote themselves into corners' and admit that at the beginning they were 'throwing things out and having to stick with it,' and having Blake's VA describe Blake as straight in official stuff and how they entirely reinvented Robin. Like either you think everything was not planned from the beginning or you think the writers are liars lol.

The people that actively just pretend or actually believe that the show is different than what it is, like the person who said RWBY was 'written by and for queer people' or the person who said Blake and Yang had been openly dating since V2 or the person who said Ruby was shown grieving Pyrrha way more than Jaune or the person who said that the RWBY villains were straight white men who weren't part of oppressed groups. What better way to prove that you actually don't like the show you're watching than to insist that it's a completely different show?

I'm sure there's more but those are the ones on my mind right now. XD Once again, I am certain that I have more love for RWBY than a lot of anti-rwde posters do.

[sameheart-sameblood]

Need You Now

gif credit: @javier-pena

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: when your new life in jackson leaves little time for each other, you and joel sneak away looking for some privacy

words: 3.6k

warnings: 18+, smut, car sex, fingering, unprotected sex, soft joel strikes again

a/n: apologies for this *gestures at the whole fic* i was horny and joel is hot

read on ao3!

You’re surrounded by people, yet all you can focus on is Joel. That’s not unusual. You could be in a room of hundreds and still hone in on his whereabouts in an instant, like some kind of heat seeking missile.

 It’s how it’s always been with you two. He’s the heat, you’re the incessant missile. Being together for a few years, you’d think that your draw to him would have lessened slightly. But it just seems to grow stronger with each passing day. 

Joel knows it, too. He remains in conversation with Maria and a group of her devoted followers but you can’t miss the ghost of a smirk as he senses your eyes on him. He teases you by bringing the beer he’s holding to his lips, leaving them lingering on the rim much longer than necessary. 

Joel finishes his swig, running his thumb gliding across his lips to collect the residual beads of moisture left behind. Asshole. He’s toying with you and there’s nothing you can do about. 

As you wander home from the party later hand in hand, you pull him aside. The shadows of the Aspen Trees lining the pathway gives you some seclusion as you press your lips to Joel’s. He grunts in surprise but quickly melts into your embrace. Only the sound of Ellie and Tommy calling your names make you break apart. 

You hide for a moment longer as the hunger for each other threatens to overtake you once again. “I need you,” your voice comes out as a whimper. 

Joel cups your chin, bringing your face up to meet his. He kisses you quickly, “I know, honey. Soon.”

******

Life in Jackson was peaceful and idyllic but it left a few things to be desired. The biggest problem was the lack of privacy. Tommy and Maria had been nice enough to put you up in their house the past few months. The one they offered you across the street from them needed repairs. All of the unoccupied houses in the community had varying levels of damage that needed to be addressed before you could move in. 

They had let you pick out the house you wanted, a truly generous offer that had left you speechless. The last one you had seen was a milled log cabin on the bank of a large pond within the Jackson boundaries. The house was tinier than some of the other offerings but it just felt right. It felt like home.

One look at Joel had told you he felt the same way. The two of you gazed in awe at the cabin that would soon be yours, your arms encircling each other. The peace was broken by Ellie grumbling, “You guys would choose the most ‘old person’ house in town.”

You grinned, used to her saying whatever thought crossed her mind. “What would you expect from two certified old people?” Joel grumbled at being called old but kissed you on the top of your head, pulling you closer. 

One arm still encircling Joel, you reached out to Ellie. “Come on. It won’t be so bad. You can decorate your room however you want.” She shuffled towards you, trying to hide how desperately she wanted to be included in the scene of domestic bliss. 

“Can I get first pick of rooms, too?” she asked hopefully as she snuck into your embrace. 

Joel reached around you to tousle her hair. “Not a chance, El.”

******

Your cabin, cute as it is, has a few pressing matters to deal with before it can be occupied. The cosmetic issues have been fixed but the roof is due to be completely replaced and the floor needs reinforcement. While those are finished, you’ve been crashing at Tommy and Maria’s house. 

The one free bedroom they have to offer is your current home. The bed is shared by you and Ellie while Joel takes a mat on the floor. Ellie, to her credit, has offered to switch spots with Joel several times. But as she and you both know, he’s too proud to accept the offer. You’re his girls and he won’t have you sleeping on the floor if there’s any other alternative. 

The close quarters have, to put it bluntly, put a dent in your sex life. Back in Boston QZ you at least had the privacy of your apartment to sneak away to. There was also no fourteen year old there to cramp your style. You love Ellie to bits but you’ve also never met a bigger cock-block before. 

Since you’ve arrived in Jackson it’s been all hushed quickies that you were certain someone would walk in on at any second. Maybe a different person would thrive under that kind of pressure but you want Joel to yourself. 

The morning after the party, you’re the first one up, probably because you’re the only one without a hangover. Well, you and Ellie. She’s still asleep, though, too. You decide to make breakfast as a thanks to your hosts. The pancake batter is resting as you begin to crack eggs for omelettes. A pair of arms envelopes you from behind as Joel’s sleepy voice croaks out a ‘good morning’. 

You lean back into his chest for a moment, smiling as he hides his head in the crook of your neck. “Coffee’s brewing,” you offer. 

“God bless you,” Joel murmurs as he releases you. You giggle as you watch him pour a massive cup and begin sipping without any sugar or cream. 

The rest of the household wanders in soon after. Tommy catches sight of you working the griddle and pats your shoulder. “Stay as long as you want,” he grins through a mouth full of barely cooked pancake. 

Around the table, the five of you fall into easy conversation. Ellie regales you all with a few of her latest puns and Tommy and Maria share their plans for the day. Eyes fall on you and Joel, waiting expectantly to hear what you’ll be up to. You open your mouth to admit you don’t know when Joel speaks for you. “We need to get some timber for the house. Thought we’d go scout some out.”

Tommy nods, “Good idea. I’ll come with you.” 

Joel interjects, “No, you’ve done enough for us already. We can manage this ourselves.” He says it nonchalantly but you don’t miss the way he’s quick to refuse Tommy’s help. “Think we can borrow your truck?” Joel adds. 

As Tommy, Maria and Ellie clean up breakfast, you pull Joel aside. “Timber, huh?” you tease, raising an eyebrow. 

He grabs your ass, then leans in to whisper in your ear, “Had to find some way to get you all to myself.”

After the house clears, you and Joel prepare for your outing. You don’t know exactly what Joel has in mind but you know from the look in his eyes earlier it probably doesn’t require much in the way of clothing. Sifting through the pile of Maria’s clothes she had offered when you first arrived, you find a red sundress with white flowers dotted on it. It’s completely impractical. But you’ve grown tired of worn jeans and flannels. You want to feel pretty for your impromptu date. 

Joel likes your decision too. He whistles in awe as he sees you walk up to the truck. Your face heats as you beam shyly at the approval. You duck into the backseat, stuffing your backpack full of sensible clothes to change into later into the footwell. 

Joel grabs you from behind and turns you around, pressing your back against the car. He cages you in, kissing you fiercely. “You trying to kill me with that dress, honey?” he sighs.

You pat his cheek, then push him gently away. “Come on, cowboy. Can’t keep that timber waiting.” 

The drive takes you past Jackson security. They wave you through after they hear where you’re planning on heading. Joel has to assure them that you’re fully armed and prepared for stepping outside of the safety of the community. 

It’s been awhile since you’ve been past the safety of the walls. You should be nervous but all you feel is anticipation. For the first time in weeks, you have Joel truly all to yourself. 

“You wanna tell me where you’re taking me?” 

Joel smiles at you, “I saw a clearing by a little lake when we made our way into town last supply run. Think you’d like it.” You can tell he genuinely means it and you smile at him. 

“How long will it take to get there?” you ask as you start rubbing his thigh, wandering dangerously close to his belt buckle. 

He chuckles, “10 minutes or so. Think you can wait?”

No. You’ve been waiting long enough. 

You shrug, face deceptively calm. “Might as well get started without you.”

Joel glances at you, smile falling away as he sees you toying with the straps of your dress. “What are you doing?”

You offer him your best doe-eyed look of innocence. “Nothing, Joel.” The strap of your left shoulder falls and you pull at it more to expose your breast. “Just taking care of myself since you won’t do it for me.” Definitely not teasing you like you did to me at the party last night.

Joel curses under his breath but doesn’t say anything else, his ability to string together a coherent sentence seemingly gone. You smirk as you pull the other strap down, completely exposing your chest. Your hands wander across your skin, paying extra attention to your nipples when you catch Joel side-eyeing you. 

Chuckling at his expense, you pull up the hem of your dress. One hand wanders between your legs as the other continues to play with your hardened nipples. Your clit throbs as you rub it and you let out a relieved moan as you reacquaint yourself with the feeling of pleasure. It hasn’t been that long but god it’s felt like forever. 

You sneak a glance at Joel and find his eyes trained ahead, knuckles white on the steering wheel. His jaw clenches and relaxes over and over. It gives you great joy to see how much you’re affecting him already. 

The prairie fades away and trees begin to rapidly rush past your window. Joel’s doing his damndest to make it to the lake before he completely loses it. He won’t dare pull over a second sooner. It would give you too much satisfaction to win at this little game and he’s too proud to admit defeat. 

At first, you play up your pleasure to get more of a rise out of him. But soon, the sighs and moans you’ve been exaggerating become very, very real. You don’t want to cum like this, not without his full attention. But you can’t stop now that you’ve started. Subtly, you slow down the rubbing of your clit and silently urge him to get you to your destination. 

After a few more minutes that feel like hours, the car stops. You open your eyes and are met with a sight that makes you briefly forget what you were just in the middle of. The lake in front of you isn’t the biggest but it’s blue like a jewel, the hue bright and clear. It’s gorgeous and you can’t wait to go for a swim. 

Joel has other plans at the moment, though. You hear his seatbelt unbuckle and he leans over the console, grabbing the back of your neck to make you focus back on him. Your gaze meets his and you know you’re in for it. His eyes, usually a soft, warm brown have turned almost black. They bore into you as he reaches over with his free hand to start rapidly rubbing your clit. 

It’s so much better than what you were doing and you close your eyes, basking in the sensation. Joel stops his fingers and tuts, “You keep your eyes on me or you’re not getting anything.” Usually, you’d think about pouting. But you need him and so you just nod vigorously as he rewards you by beginning to rub again. 

You settle in, angling yourself more towards Joel and spreading your legs to grant him better access. With his eyes still locked on yours, he moves his fingers down from your clit and shoves two inside of you. You gasp in surprise as he starts fucking you with them. Joel’s usually the lovemaking type but you’ve teased him too much and he needs to teach you a lesson. A lesson you will enjoy but a lesson nonetheless. 

Never once do his fingers stop, aided by the slick you’ve built up on the car ride. Moans are drawn out of you, seemingly of their own volition. Your eyes travel down to gape at the sight of his hand working between your legs but he tightens his grip on the back of your neck. He pulls your face closer to his as he watches you, knowing you’re a goner. 

Joel’s fingers curl inside you and you’re done for. You cum hysterically, eyes never leaving his. Joel slows his strokes but continues rubbing lazily at your walls, helping you down from your high. He pulls you gently to him and kisses you, back to sensitive Joel. 

Finally, you close your eyes, relishing in your orgasm. Joel doesn’t stop you. You don’t even realize that he’s left the car until you hear your door click open. Still in a haze, you’re lead out of the front seat and ushered into the back. You watch as Joel climbs in to sit next to you and closes the door. 

You grab for him, pressing your lips to his. It starts sensual and romantic, then quickly devolves into a sloppy make-out session. Joel pushes you to lay down on the seat so he can climb on top. Instead, you push him back into a sitting position so you can clamber onto his lap. 

Joel steadies you while you get into position straddling him. It’s uncoordinated and you smack your head on the ceiling. Imagining how clumsy you must look, you let out a laugh. Joel joins in, caressing your face as you smile at each other. 

Once the giggles subside, you take his face in your hands. “I’ve missed you.” 

The admittance sobers him and he grabs your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm. “I’m right here, honey. I’ll always be right here.”

It’s amazing how he can always make you feel as giddy as the first time you admitted your feelings to each other. Your heart leaps, fit to burst and all you can think to do is show him how good he makes you feel. Leaning down, you kiss him with as much passion as you can muster. 

You could get lost in the feel of Joel but the sound of a muffled moan coming from him pulls you back to attention. Continuing the kiss, you reach down and start undoing his belt buckle. Years of practice have made you an expert at getting him out of his pants in seconds. But it’s been a minute since you two have done this and you’re so excited you find your fingers don’t seem to work. 

Joel smirks as he reaches down to help. He undoes his belt but moves his hands aside so you can continue. Reaching down, you slip his cock free and encircle it, beginning to slide up and down at a languid pace. A soft thud brings your eyes back up and you see Joel has leaned back against the headrest. 

Labored breathing fills the truck as you press your lips to Joel’s now exposed neck. You suck red marks along his skin that others back in Jackson are sure to notice. Joel curses but grabs your wrist to encourage you to speed up. You do as requested but soon feel a throbbing between your legs. “Joel,” you whimper and his eyes shoot open to see what’s wrong. 

He reads your expression and nods, helping to lift you so you can position his cock at your entrance. Slowly, you lower yourself and the two of you groan in unison. The feeling of him and the realization that you can take as long as you want makes your head spin. 

But it becomes apparent that this is gonna be a quick fuck too. “I’m not gonna last long,” Joel confesses. 

He’s not the only one. Even just staying still with him inside you is making it hard for you to focus. “It’s ok. I won’t either,” you murmur. 

Joel grabs at your sides to encourage you to start moving. You roll your hips against him and Joel’s head falls back against the headrest again. Smirking, you continue the pace. The realization hits you that Joel has entirely too many clothes on. Thankfully he’s wearing the denim shirt with snaps you love so much. You rip it open, exposing his weathered chest and lovely soft belly. 

Joel comes to, watching in fascination as you bend down to start kissing his chest, leaving marks there for only the two of you to admire later. The roll of your hips stays consistent until you moan when Joel’s cock hits one of the more sensitive parts of your walls. 

The sudden snap of his hips makes you stop in your tracks. You look up to meet his lust clouded eyes and recognize that he needs release and he needs it now. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you bury your face in his neck as he begins to fuck up into you. 

Sobs cascade out of you as the pleasure begins to bubble up. They’re muffled into his skin, though. “I wanna hear you,” Joel orders and you nod, leaning back to let your wails fill the truck. They grow louder and more desperate when Joel slows his hips, bringing his mouth to your breasts, sucking on one nipple then moving to the other. 

Joel gives one last kiss to each breast, then continues fucking you, hips pistoning up with a fervor you’re not sure he’s had since you’re first days as a couple. Your back arches as you cum, not even able to give him a warning before it happens. You stay that way, paralyzed with bliss as Joel chases after your orgasm. 

Collapsing into his chest, you come down from your high as he ruts into you a few more times before spilling his release inside. His cock continues to pulse as he wraps his arms around you. Sighing, you turn your head, pressing your cheek to his chest. His rapid heartbeat soon slows and you lie there for a few minutes listening to its strong pulse. Joel hums a song you don’t know as he rubs your back. 

“That’s nice,” you murmur, “What is it?”

Joel answers quietly not wanting to break your little bubble of serenity. “Just something that’s been floating around my head the past few days.”

You straighten up and kiss him. “You’re something special, Joel Miller.”

He looks up at you, a loopy smile plastered on his face. “You’re the only special thing about me, honey.”

A look of incnesed shock flashes onto your face, making Joel laugh. He might not truly believe that there’s nothing special about him but also…he very well could. His confidence and self-worth are maddeningly low for someone who most others would label “the whole package.”

Your thighs tremble from riding him and you long for a nap but you won’t rest until you’ve shown him just how much he means to you. A brush of your lips against his own makes his softened cock, still nestled between your legs, twitch with interest. He may not be as young as he once was but his lust for you never fails. 

“Guess I didn’t do a good enough job just now of showing you how exceptional you are. Let’s try again, shall we?”

It takes a few more hours of fucking, interspersed with a brisk skinny dip in the lake, before Joel admits defeat. He concedes that, yes, he is unique, admirable and all of the other complimentary adjectives you’ve bestowed upon him. 

The sun begins its descent towards the horizon and it becomes apparent that your day must come to an end. Joel slips back into his jeans and shirt as you abandon the dress to the bottom of your pack in favor of a more practical hoodie and khakis. You’re already going to get enough questions about how you spent a whole day in the woods and yet have no timber with you. Best not to give more fuel to the rumors by showing up in a disheveled sundress. 

“So what’s our story for today?” you question, slumping back into the passenger seat. 

Joel considers the question as he turns the key in the ignition. “The truth?” he shrugs. 

You laugh and shake your head. “Yeah, we’re definitely not doing that.”

Joel puts his arm on the back of your headrest as he looks behind to reverse back onto the drive way. “I’ll take the long way back. Give you some time to think about what you wanna tell them.” You roll your eyes and he puts a comforting hand on your thigh as he drives. “While you’re at it, think of a few more excuses we can use for next time we need a day like this.”

“You planning on this becoming a regular thing?” you tease him. 

Joel squeezes your thigh as his eyes crinkle with amusement. “Well, I’m no fortune teller but we will be sharing a house with a very nosy teenager… ”

Oh, right. You’re going to need a whole arsenal of excuses to get some privacy. But the thought of the three of you being a content, little family makes it all worth it. 

******

[teatitty]

In my own Transformers AU's where they land on Earth I really like to play around with the idea of everyone gunning for the final working space bridge in their alt modes and they all get caught up in it Going Wrong so they get stuck on earth unable to transform for a while because of low energy [alt modes being their 'battery saver mode' essentially], scattered all over the place in different countries. Just committing completely to the "robots in disguise" bit of it

Sunstreaker gets picked up by some hollywood dudes to be used as a stunt car and quickly gets a reputation for being a 'cursed object on set' because the car is always moving, has a habit of being "hard to control" for drivers and sometimes revs a little too loudly comfort but on the flipside almost always comes away from said car stunts completely fine with everyone else in tact

Ironhide gets picked up by a single parent juggling 4 kids of varying ages in Thailand and starts off hating every second of it but grudgingly comes to care for this little family just trying to get by with what they can

Arcee ends up with Jem and the Holograms because you know I gotta have that in here, Jemcee is everything. She's also one of the first formers to get her energon back up bc of the synergy tech [which is based on cybertron tech but nobody knows that yet]

Optimus is a young woman's first truck in Australia and he is Stressed The Hell Out about keeping her safe she is his daughter now holy shit he wasn't prepared for this!!! He hates her boyfriend not because the boyfriend is an asshole but because he finds the guy super annoying. Boyfriend left empty takeout trash in his seats one time and has been on his list for life ever since. The boyfriend thinks Optimus is a cursed truck but the young lady scoffs and rolls her eyes because her truck has never caused problems for her

Bumblebee is involved in some Herbie levels of shenanigans probably. Touring all over Europe. Elita-1 is being used by heavy leather bikers and the rescue bots [including our medbots!!!] are of course in their respective fields all over the globe, always somehow getting to where they need to be perfectly timed regardless of conditions and saving many many lives

NASA and other such space places are def fully aware of the robot aliens. They're probably housing a few of them in secret wholesale lying to the government about it lol [space science people are the good guys of course they just wanna help and geek out]

I have no idea how they would all end up banding back together again I just want them to be living that superhero double-life and dealing with the horrors of timezone differences and spotty connections. The inherent hilarity of Starscream tryna talk shit to Megatron on a video call but he keeps cutting out and freezing

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend for more physical affection in public?

🫂

^ to recognize my post when it publishes

(TLDR at bottom but with much less detail obv)

I love my girlfriend very much. We've been together for almost 9 months. I am 16FtM and she is 16MtF. us being trans is relevant here.

I am a very affectionate person in general, I love holding hands and leaning on people and hugging and whatever. My personal brand of thinking about the world includes that idgaf about what other people think. My girlfriend however does, and doesn't feel comfortable with physical affection in public. I know a lot of this stems from her issues with trust, feeling of unsafety because of her being trans and queer (both out in a fairly liberal area), and general emotional issues. However, I really do need some form of physical affection in public, to the point where it's actually becoming an issue: when I feel bad (upset, sad, whatever) she gives me more attention and affection because she feels like I need it. Both of us have depression and anxiety (varying levels of each but still similar in some regards) so we understand it. However sometimes if I space out for too long and she notices she'll ask me if I'm ok. that's great! that's fine! the problem is that I've started subconsciously acting like I'm not fine when I am, or generally skewing more towards the sad side whenever she asks me, and I think it's because if I'm feeling worse I can get more affection. I've also taken more to grabbing her ass in public (100% CONSENSUAL, SHE LIKES IT AND HAS SAID IT'S OK) but I realized today that I do that only because its one of the only prolonged physical contact things that she's ok with in public (which ??? idk I'm asexual so I don't really get it) but I'd rather have a non-sexual way to show affection.

She's really affectionate when it's just the two of us or we're with close friends and/or family but in public, she's completely closed off and it makes me feel shut off from her too. It hurts and makes me feel bad.

I want to ask if there's something I can do to show affection to her in public that she would be comfortable with. Something like a quick hand squeeze or grabbing her shoulder or smth that's small and not inherently romantic but that way I can feel more secure.

TL;DR: my gf isn't super comfortable with affection in public (no handholding, kissing, hand kissing, hugging, leaning) but I'm very openly affectionate and it's driving a bit of a wedge between us because I need physical affection to feel connected to her. I want to ask if we can figure out a small way to be physically close (like a hand squeeze) while in public so I can be happy and she can be comfortable. I might be the asshole because she's very uncomfortable with people seeing us affectionate in public. We're both 16 and trans, out in our fairly liberal school.

What are these acronyms?

[faceeeeee]

All

I love hearing about ppls Ocs :3

Behold- the main cast of assholes and dumbasses! I finally remade their reference sheets (keep in mind that these guys are part of the main cast so I've still got some other ocs, some plot relevant, others not so much)

To keep it brief, here's a summary (plot twist, I did not keep it brief):

In a hypothetical reconstruction of the earth where there is a huge ass continent and some other medium and small ones in a secluded corner, you've got regular human civilization living out their regular life in these small portions of land . All of the territory (except for the big ass continent) is controlled managed by a company known as "P.C.P" (Provide, create, protect. Creative, I know) which is basically the puppeteer of all of society. It's presented as the one that will install order and peace throughout the world by keeping every single little thing in check. They've got tech, they've got the military, they've got the most renowned scientist in the fields of chemistry, biology, physics...you name it...and they've got political control. The C.E.O of this wonderful company is our dear old gal Evelyn! She rose to the ranks cause of....plot reasons (dunno if that would be considered spoilers...) and is the reason all of this shit happens in the first place :) well... it's a mix really of who's at fault (get it? Cause the name of the series is "At fault"?..... I'll see myself out).

Aaanyway, then enters John, a middle-aged man that works in the robotics department of the company that has successfully ascended and has gotten a bonus! How nice :) well he fucks up on day one by stumbling upon some of the companies secrets regarding the big ass continent and is subsequently found out. How does Evelyn react to this? She kills his wife and young daughter OOPSIES. she also sent her workers/police forces to kill him as well but he escapes. Still in shock he hides on a garbage ship in the hopes of getting anywhere else besides P.C.P territory and it basically dumps him into the big ass continent. He wakes up and discovers that the big ass continent has a huge abandoned city filled with vegetation and wacky mutated creatures with varying levels of danger :). Here enter our two other guys: BRK9 or "Berry" is the huge robot dude that was basically abandoned in this unknown territory and is later found and fixed by John to act as his security guard (John is basically preeeetty paranoid at this point and is still in shock and has not registered that his only family's dead). And what do we have here? Berry's sentient and is really fucking annoying to John? Oopsie daisy! Welp, now these two wander around the place and find an annoying fucking furry K!!! (Yes K. Her name is a literal letter don't say anything SHUT UP-). When they first met she basically tried to eat John and kill berry but berry ends up decapitating her.......

But, to John's dismay, K's inmortal!....kinda. She can regenerate any part of her body but she can die of old age or you could just blow her up till there's no piece of flesh left for her to regenerate from. So their whole dynamic is basically grumpy old traumatized man who now wants revenge, an insecure robot that masks their fears with a confident front and is obsessed with his dad (John hates that he calls him that) and a psychotic anthropomorphic lizard that's really fkn stupid and barbaric.

And to answer "What was Evelyn trying to hide?"... she's basically the reason that K exists in the first place and is trying to take control of this deserted continent by sending more and more troops to take over. What's stopping her? The vast amount of mutated things that are constantly killing her troops + K (she actually created K in the hopes of using her as a weapon to conquer the place but deemed her as a nuisance and useless and left her to die. But she escaped and got amnesia by destroying her head whilst escaping...)

And above all of this, whilst our main trio kill one of the troops and ambush their station, through a video call with one of the generals, Evelyn sees that the ex-employee that she thought had been taken care of was still alive! AND THE THING THAT SHE HAD GOTTEN RID OF WAS ALSO ALIVE AND KICKING! oh and a random robot.....

[direwolfrules]

Oh my fairy godmother I am so happy you are post about Ever After High!!! Do you have any fanfic or au ideas involving them? Like, what if one character had another destiny or what if they were in the Star Wars universe?! It’s just interesting to think about!

Hey! Glad to see we share another fandom interest!

So, I have this barebones post for what I would have done as a crossover between g1 Monster High and Ever After High.

As for general fanfic ideas I have a few. I shall now list them in varying levels of detail:

1. A Very Charming Groundhog Day Year:

Basically, the Charming siblings time loop back from a bit after Dragon Games but before Epic Winter to the day before the school year started (the day of the Family Ball in the books). While it would be kinda angsty, the best time loop fics are usually crack fics, and this would be no exception (if I ever wrote any of these things).

So Daring, Dexter, and Darling are all initially in states of panic and anxiety. Daring, he was in the middle of a quarter-life crisis and now has to deal with everyone and their fairy godmother thinking he's Apple's Prince Charming.

"Daring Charming, more like Distressed Charming, am I right?"-- Dexter, who should get to exhibit asshole little brother energy more often, as a treat.

Speaking of Dexter, he's panicking cause of all the awful stuff that's going to happen during the school year and also because now he has to go through the nerve-racking ordeal of asking out the girl he likes all over again.

Darling's in hell because everyone and their fairy godmother expect her to be this perfect little damsel, again, which is just- ugh. There are days she wishes she could carry her sword around with her, and they're most days. Also, she never got to talk to Apple about their True Love's CPR, which is just tragic.

The loops go on for a while, some constants in them include: Darling freeing herself and helping little Good-Enough Charming get one of their grandfather's trophies for the scavenger hunt, Dexter and Darling teaming up to kill the changeling and free cousin Charity (sometimes Daring helps but he's content to let his siblings have fun for once), Darling accidentally on purpose flirting with Apple and Apple experiencing several degrees of gay panic, Dexter fumbling asking out Raven for the first time (he's really such a dork, just a funky dude), and the Charming Siblings teaming up to make Milton Grimm's life a living hell.

In one loop they secretly film him playing with his toy unicorns and his action figure of himself and they hijack Blondie's mirrorcast to play it to the entire school.

After several loops a Monster High crossover happens, and so in every loop after that the Charming sibs, who have grown incredibly gremlin-like after experiencing the insanity of the school several dozen times, make sure to drop monster slang when it's just them and Cupid. Like:

Darling: "Wow, Cupid, that top looks clawsome."

Daring: "Totally, it's freaky fierce."

Cupid: "What?!"

Darling: "That top looks nice on you. Anyway, we gotta run."

Dexter: "Yeah, see you later ghoulfriend!"

I have some other half-baked ideas for this one but it'd probably be it's own post.

2. Murdoch Mysteries-ish AU:

This one makes no sense if you've never watched the hit Canadian Detective Show, Murdoch Mysteries. Or maybe it makes some sense, idk. Instead of a modern AU, we have a 1895 detective AU. It's barely an idea, I have no idea if I'd even keep this in the fantasy setting of (an 1895) Ever After or not.

Dexter is the Detective William Murdoch of this AU, the man with no game and beautiful blue eyes who women keep inexplicably falling in love with. He's observant and a little strange but he's also a brilliant detective. One of the major differences though is Dexter is the disowned son of old money parents.

Raven's the Dr. Julia Ogden, the outspoken, independent, and compassionate coroner helping solve cases and being amazing. Her rich, controlling mother doesn't much approve of her life choices but old Mrs. Queen can suck it. Raven and Detective Charming have a clearly mutual attraction but they're both hesitant to act on it cause what's a romance without a good slow-burn.

Hopper's the Constable George Crabtree of this AU. Listen, the everyday George matches Hopper's human side, and writer George matches Hopper's frog side. I will not elaborate, because I really cannot. Just feel the vibes, cause the words aren't coming.

I'm not 100% sure who'd be the Inspector Brackenreid. Part of me kinda wants to make it Professor Badwolf, and then I could make Milton Grimm the asshole commissioner. Coach Gingerbreadman is the Inspector of Station 5, the rivals of Station 4.

Daring is heir to the Charming family fortune. Golden boy, everyone loves him, wants more than anything to be able to talk to his little brother in public, but their parents would disown him as well if he stepped out of line.

Apple is one of Raven's housemates at Sisters boarding house, run by Bella and Brutta Sister. She was once courted by Daring, it was at the point where people were expecting an engagement announcement any day. That's when they suddenly broke it off, with no explanation (the explanation is Daring's in love with another girl and Apple's in love with his sister). Snow White and her husband barely agreed to let her move into the boarding house, I honestly have no clue how Apple managed to pull that off but good for her.

Idk, Darling's a vigilante. She's got the same deductive genius as Dexter, she just doesn't have the same ability to join the police force. Inspector Badwolf is tired of his cops being outdone by the mysterious White Knight (yeah, yeah, I made Darling into Victorian-era Batman). Couldn't the White Knight patrol Station 5's territory? (The answer is no, because Darling really wants to catch a glimpse of her twin and also because Sisters Boarding house is in Station 4's territory and sometimes she likes to secretly crash with her girlfriend).

3. The Destiny Cycle AU (AKA: Ever After High but the Rebel Movement is an actual Rebellion AU):

What it says on the tin. Raven discovers the book is fake before Legacy Day. Her and Dexter, who in this AU is believed to be Ashlynn's future Prince Charming because someone made a good post about the potential dynamics that could cause and I love it, set out to uncover what other secrets those in charge are hiding.

Basically, in this AU Ever After is a dystopia where the Royal Families tied the survival of their dynasties' rule to their stories. Like, magically tied them. The Fates themselves have been bound by the magic of the Destiny Cycle. Ever After's Destiny-bound citizens are forced to repeat the same stories as their ancestors, all because Happily Ever After doesn't include a revolt or the institution of democracy. All stories are repeated as a precaution against anyone figuring out what the ancestors of the Royal Families did.

Taking some inspiration from the SDCC Raven Queen doll's letter from her mother, the Evil Queen discovered the truth about the Destiny Cycle, said "not my kid you bastards", and proceeded to try to break the Cycle's bonds. Her taking over other stories and cursing Wonderland was an attempt to stretch the probability bonds of the Destiny Cycle's magic to the breaking point.

Stuff's gonna go down and basically these kids know time is running out until there's a war, cause the only way to avoid being offered up as a lamb to the slaughter is to overthrow the whole system.

God, I really gotta make this into it's own post as well now. But here's a basic rundown of some stuff I'd include:

Dexter and Raven being young and in love and just all the secret romance feels

Snow White knows about the Destiny Cycle, but Apple absolutely does not know.

Apple being born blonde is a sign that the Evil Queen's schemes loosened the grip of the Destiny Cycle, at least for a moment.

Ashlynn, Hunter, Dexter, and Raven as secret rebel leaders.

The backgrounders will have actual roles dammit! (Looking at you Lawrence Bonecrusher III, aka Orc Boy).

An exploration of artificial Destiny Cycle "True Love" vs. real True Love, featuring Apple, Daring, and Darling.

C.A. Cupid, sent by her godly family to infiltrate Ever After and cure it of the Destiny Cycle, because it's interfering in the domains of the gods.

A unique Monster High crossover idea that I will elaborate on in another post.

These children absolutely end up having to kill someone and it scars them forever.

As for different destinies AUs or Star Wars AUs, I haven't really given them much thought.

I think, in a Star Wars setting (possibly Old Republic?), Raven would be a Jedi padawan descended from a long line of Sith. Instead of Mirror Prison, her mom is dead and her Force Ghost is bound to a giant, mirrorlike piece of kyber crystal. Uh, not 100% sure who her master would be.

Darling would also be a Jedi padawan, and Maid Marian would be her Master. Maid Marian gets into custody battles over this kid with this old Jedi Watchman known only as The White Knight. She'd still have her time-slowing hair flip, in this AU it's just a unique way of activating the Force Slow ability.

[borahaerhy]

Regime (Teaser) | myg

Pairing: Ringleader!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Summary: Everything is dull. Your job, your hobbies, your downtime: everything is just dull. That is, until your workplace is raided by the anti-capitalist organization run by the notorious Agust D.

Series Warnings: anti-capitalism! mental illness, some gang violence, unaliving, smut, hella angst, drug/alcohol usage, very fowl language

Teaser Warnings: READER IS A BADASS, y/n uses all the self-defense, quite literally bites a chunk out of someone's hand, everyone has a gun, there are a few hostages, Yoongi kicks someone in the face, y/n very casually holds a gun to someone's head, refrences to y/n's childhood being... interesting (relatives' drug usage breifly mentioned)

Wordcount: 689

Note: I have no idea where this is gonna go, might just leave it at this, might make it a oneshot, might fuck around and make it a series I have no idea, lmk your thoughts though :)))

It was odd. 

The parking lot of your job being completely empty had only happened on one other occasion that you could recall; and that was because it was Easter, and everyone had gone home early. 

But today was different. It wasn’t a holiday, and there should have been plenty of work to get done; yet there was no one. Not a single car in the parking lot. As you drove past, you turned your attention to the side of the building, where the security parked. You pulled into the space beside the empty car of one of your coworkers, Nick. 

But it’s ten minutes until shift change; first shift should still be here. Did Nick let them leave early for some reason? Aside from yours and Nick's, there was only one other car in the entire lot. A black SUV parked haphazardly beside Nick's car; and it was still running.

While all of this might scream “danger” to others that would have seen it, to you, while it was weird, that's all it was: weird. It’s a relatively small company; one where there were so few employees that they were all friends. Everyone knew everyone and they often all liked to fuck with one another, maybe this was just some kind of prank. 

While the company was small, it was also one that had no problem fucking over it’s employees when it comes to their paychecks; even whenever the company execs wanted to come in and check the place out, they certainly never would’ve listened to any complaints about pay. 

You cautiously walked up to the door and punched in the pin before you opened the door and stepped in. As you closed the door behind you, you realized that you walked into something you definitely wished you hadn’t. 

Tied up in the middle of the floor was the supervisor for the building, Kevin, and the guy supposed to work your shift with you, Nick. They were completely surrounded by men in black, all with guns pointed at their heads. Kevin looked like he just got into a fight and lost; blood covering his face and his nose was crooked, while Nick had a swollen lip. In front of them there was just one man, but as soon as your eyes had adjusted to the dark building, all of them were looking at you. 

Seconds after you walked in, your arms were pinned behind your back and a hand covered your mouth. “Just make sure she doesn’t go anywhere for a second, I have to deal with this asshole before I talk to her,” 

While as a security officer, you hadn’t been trained in any kind of combat, you did grow up with uncles. A lot of them, and they would all get varying levels of high and various substances and decide that you needed to know how to defend yourself. 

So while the man that spoke, the one standing in front of Nick and Kevin, kicks Nick in the chin - no doubt knocking out a few of his teeth - you stamped down on the foot of the man behind you and bit a chunk of flesh from his hand clean off. He screamed, letting go of you so you could turn around and knee him in the groin as one of your hands took the gun out of his side holster and held it to his head. 

You stood beside him, facing the group of people with one hand holding the gun to his head while the other was up, level with your head to show you weren't armed more than what they could see. You spit out the chunk of flesh that you still had in your mouth, mostly for dramatic effect, and slowly moved your free hand down to wipe the blood from your lips. 

Everyone was staring at you, even the boss was staring at you with a kind of intensity that would’ve been hard for anyone to withstand. “You can finish whatever you were doing, I’m not going anywhere, I just don’t really like people touching me,”

[revols-headcanons]

random karasuno headcanons

daichi has never once had a break because of his four siblings, which is why he is so uptight and stressed. volleyball is the only place he can really relax (specifically w the other third years) and even then kageyama, hinata, noya, and tanaka are constantly testing him. he brought this up to ukai and takeda once and they both were like “have you ever went to therapy kid?" before they gave him info for a local therapist.

sugawara knows every kpop dance imaginable and forces his teammates to do them during their breaks. the only people who humor him and dance with him are hinata, noya, and tanaka sometimes. during a team sleepover, he convinced kageyama to do a dance with him, but kageyama is badly coordinated when dancing so it was horrible.

asahi knits when he’s anxious— which is all the time. he’s made a blanket for each teammate with their names on it and his bedroom is just piles of blankets at varying levels of complete. his dog appreciates the nest he can sleep in. he jokes that this is where his parents college fund has gone to. also knitting is what gets him into fashion because he jokingly knitted a bucket hat for noya and immediately wanted to make more— his room ended up having 30 bucket hats all over it and he had to give them away to his classmates and teammates.

kiyoko likes reading intense smutty romance books with a blank face. her expectations for romance are through the roof and she’s unashamed. suga has tried reading it over her shoulder and he’s walked away flustered. she reads a wide variety of books but specifically chooses the horniest and/or creepiest to read in front of the team. yachi’s shocked when she learns that kiyoko’s favorite genre isn’t dark romance and that it’s actually fluffy romance.

nishinoya made a fake tinder account of tsukishima with the worst photos imaginable (like tsukki mid-trip or him giving a disgusted face to kageyama). the bio says something like ‘i’m 6’1 if that matters and i think red heads should be killed.’ noya matches with the most amount of people and also updates with the worst opinions ever. people still get interested in ‘tsukki’ even when the bio has ridiculous takes and standards. noya is pissed that it is doing so well.

tanaka’s strangely good at dancing but horrific at singing. he tried to serenade kiyoko one day but his voice cracked so badly that he stopped mid-song and left the room. kiyoko laughed but patted his back in reassurance afterwards. the team never lets him live it down ever— the wedding speeches he received all mentioned the event somewhere. he has an excellent moonwalk and can occasionally successfully breakdance.

ennoshita writes fanfic (“story scripts”) about the team and changes the names. he gets the team to act as the characters in his films, which raises some questions when he writes a tragic story about ‘kai’ (a sarcastic asshole) being killed by his rivals ‘tora’ (a dumb asshole) and ‘shouto’ (a dumbass). he once posted a fanfic shipping two teammates (with name changes) and it got really popular.

kageyama uses 3-in-1 body wash/shampoo/conditioner. he says it’s because it’s efficient, and he gets no acne or sweat stench— this makes everyone hate him. he only changes when miwa comes back into his life after college and is horrified. he tells this story as a little joke whenever he wants people to be shocked and/or disgusted at him, even when he’s a pro.

hinata can cook but only because he has a sister and an overworked single mother. he cooks for himself and natsu often, but it’s really simple and uncreative meals because he would rather practice volleyball than work on making interesting dishes. after the time skip, his cooking skills have vastly improved and every meal he makes is some form of brazillian-japanese blend.

tsukishima had a major my little pony phase and is deeply secretive of it. he listens to the soundtrack often and has a drawer full of little collectibles. yamaguchi is the only one who knows about it, and tsukki compares himself to twilight and yamaguchi to fluttershy. he once almost said ‘everypony’ but yamaguchi screamed to cut him off. it went like: ‘stfu everyp-‘ ‘PISS’ ‘…what?’ ‘WE GOTTA PISS. both of us. right now.’

yamaguchi had a musical theater phase and forced tsukishima to sing along with him. he forced tsukki to dress up as michael to his jeremy one halloween. yamaguchi can only workout or study to musicals, which is deeply unfortunate. his favorite songs were helpless from hamilton and michael in the bathroom from be more chill. he tried to audition for school musicals multiple times but would end up having panic attacks and leaving before his audition.

yachi’s notes are the aesthetically color coordinated ones, even though her teachers talk rapidly fast. she’s always humble about it but she spends hours on them. she never has to study because she spends so much time rewriting them that the notes just stick in her brain. she’s had to recently laminate her completed notes because hinata once’s spilled broth onto her notes, which made her cry.