#vanya hargreeves / pre tua

[sweetpastillas]

to hijack a five-centric post & make it more relatively? generalish because i love fanon vs canon discourse (vv good points tho i agree)–

half of the problem is genuinely due to the gigantic breaks in between seasons? i wont argue about production management but can say that because it takes a while to get to where the characters are next, we remain stuck at where they currently are. fandom can only imagine where their arc goes, but ultimately we stick to how their personalities are defined at its current stage

and like, there's also a combination of slotting the characters into archetypes and tropes. everyone or most are guilty of it, especially with s1 (it was in the marketing). so fandom establishes perceptions of these characters, and keep them consistent throughout the show's run.

at initial watch, five is the stressed out wise one, and in hindsight everyone should have listened to him. we keep this in mind as we watch onwards to other seasons, and we always see him proven right about apocalypses nonetheless. but we forget or we dont realize it enough, that five is characterized as someone who was raised and Hired by the commission to look at the bigger picture, and when that's over with, he can focus on the interpersonal stuff; in comparison to his siblings, who in their pov never lived the older life he did and only Had the interpersonal stuff to consider.

again, we forget or dont realize it enough, so many end up perceiving it as: five has another apocalypse on his plate. of course the hargreeves are too dysfunctional to listen to him. i cant believe they didnt listen to him. i bet they never listen to him. rinse repeat

so, fandom perception. who didnt push takes post-s1 that were basically "luther's a moon obsessed uptight bastard, klaus is our lil sad gay junkie, allison is That bitch, etc."

but the show canon takes that and runs, pushing those images of them and stretching within boundaries. we went from family drama of s1 to family hijinks in s2; therefore we keep the pre established fanon perception in our minds

(for example, allow me to ramble – netflix marketing for tua once put out a post that basically said "this would be luther's playlist" and it was a bunch of songs with moon in the title. and its like, as an og luther defender, fuck off no hed have a bunch of 60s-80s songs with 90s guilty pleasure standalones. the moon was shit for him and as much as it was beautiful it was confusing and isolating and Thats why he was obsessed. shut up abt the moon i beg

and of couse the 'luther's stupid -> luther's a himbo -> luther's just plain dumb' pipeline :( )

but yes. show canon, and fanon perception of it. the further morphing into 'allison is a bitch, now', and, as said, 'five, the local cranky elderly'.

the third element to this are the comics, which might be where the weirder and colder takes of the characters come from. i only have a barebones memory of reading apocalypse suite (the first volume where s1 is based on) and already the differences are stark. its the royal tenenbaums with an edge – the hargreeves' genuinely dont see each other as siblings, so in that verse its written as ok enough for allison/luther and diego/vanya(as far as ik the comics version of viktor still isnt trans) to happen. adding to that, because they see each other as teammates more than sibs, the shit they say to each other and how they say it can sound more snappy and detached than half of diego's angry s1 dialogue 💀. reginald was hateful there, too, a stark contrast to how we see him executed with more depth and complexity in the show

so then, adding in ideas you can get from the comics, fandom further morphs the perception. then comes show canon last in the race to combine, and suddenly we scramble. its either 'hey, thats not how my idealized version of that character in fanfiction works in this adaptation' vs realizing that was never the case at all. five the grump no one listens to vs just five, struggling one more time, with his siblings beside him

oh no you guys. i’m going to spew things i’ve realized while rewatching umbrella academy. I’m realizing were all being too sucked into fanon things after being stuck without canon content for so long. We have convinced ourselves Five acts like a mean mean dude to everyone but rewatching, i’ve realized he’s only stressed and is saying things out of panicked anger, especially in s1 with the apocalypse dooming over them. he acts soft to his siblings multiple times, he’s really not as mean as we write him in fanfiction. he is a little crap though, that’s for sure, and i love him for that <3

also realizing that the siblings don’t hate five. they just literally don’t know him at all. he came back a completely different person after 17 years for the siblings, they don’t know five, he’s a stranger so of course they’re gonna be cold to him. it’s like, “i don’t know you well, but you’re always going to be my brother in the end”.

ALSO. for those who ship some of the siblings, uhm… i’ve seen a lot of you guys try to prove that they don’t see eachother as siblings and more like academy students, but they very much say in just about every episode that they see eachother as siblings. they don’t actually SAY that word by word but they say things like “she’s our sister”, or “our dad”. if they say OUR dad… bro. i’m not even going to continue, you can put it together yourself. But, i do realize why people ship the siblings. I am not defending incest shippers but with umbrella academy i can see why people have resorted to it. only 3 of the characters in the main sibling cast has romantic partners. people like shipping people, people love writing romantic relationships, but with only diego/lila, dave/klaus, and sissy/viktor, (i’m not going to count five/dolores for now) people are desperate with the need to ship the rest of the siblings with someone, and since there are only a few actual canon characters in the show that interact with our main 7, people start shipping them together… yikes. anywho, that’s all for that peice. i blame the show writers as well for shipping luther/allison, they did not have to do that, but i’m hoping it was only to convey the severity of what childhood trauma does to people.

ALSO THIS HERE SHOOK ME. I actually think Reginald cares for the siblings. i hate to say it, but it’s true. caring for them does not mean being good, though. he was a horrible father, and person, but he genuinely did care for the siblings, in a like, “being the best is the best thing for you, i will make you better, for your sake, even if you don’t know it now, you will see that i am right” kind of way.

also why has NOBODY MENTIONED THIS. in season 2 when diego first reunites with five in the asylum, while he’s walking into the visitors room, he’s staring at five with this heartfelt, soft look, and then says “five…” in the most soft spoken voice ever 😭 your honor i love them

ALSO UGHHH THIS. IM GOING TO FREAK OUT ABOUT CAMERAWORK AND METAPHORS HERE SO BARE WITH ME. we as a fandom complain about the lack of flashbacks five has due to his ptsd. we’ve seen his first flashback since getting back to his family in s1 during the van scene when he gets triggered by those kids playing and starts thinking about his own childhood, i’m guessing. i ate that scene up, and was sad to see that be one of the only deeply vulnerable scenes he has in the season, and during my first watch i thought they’d never bring it back up. but they do!! i may be stupid for not realizing but whatever. in season 2, when five is trying to explain at elliot’s with all his siblings around that another apocalypse is coming, everyone starts talking about each other. as someone who studies film and camerawork, i love this scene. we see the camera focus on five as it slowly zooms in. it doesn’t switch scenes at all as the siblings voices overlap and echo over eachother. this whole scene conveys him getting overwhelmed and he starts to zone out, starting to think of the nuclear war he saw his siblings in. the scenes of the war start quickly switching through, showing many different scenes of it before it switches back to five, who says “guys, you all die. i want to forget it but i can’t” which just UGH its so well done there. if you think about it, he was starting to slip into another flashback. he was triggered by talking about their deaths in the war but was handling it well until the siblings started fighting, where we see the overlapping voices happen. it portrays him losing control and being unable to pull it back together with too much going on for him to focus on grounding himself. we DO however, see that five was able to pull himself out before he fell too deep into the flashback. i love how they show this through them still having the scene showing the war, but then fives voice starts talking over the scene which is still focusing on the war as if he was pushing it back and forcing himself to come back to the present.

thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far, i will continue to freak out another time <3

[uniasus]

I know it might seem like I've abandoned Grocery List Goals to work on other stories, but I have been writing it! Hoping to get a chapter up tonight.

-----

"Are you okay?" Five blurts out and Vanya gives him a confused look.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Missing memories is a big deal."

She dips her hands in her pocket. Finds the stress ball. Holds it gently.

"Maybe," Vanya admits. "But I don't know what I'm missing. I mean, some of our time as kids, but I don't…" she trails off.

The memories someone has brought up that Vanya can't recall are evening hang outs, or after events she'd probably found stressful at the time. They're moment with her siblings that have slipped through her fingers, and she doesn't know how many of them there are. If she had remembered them, would she had felt closer to them? Less alone? Less likely to blow up the moon?

She thinks of Allison, and then Diego leaving shortly after they turned eighteen. Of learning about Allison's wedding through celebrity magazines, of Luther turning down her invitations to dinner the first year she was back in the city after school.

She thinks of Leonard being her first boyfriend, but not her first date. How she'd always been nervous and took her anxiety medication before meeting them, and how not remembering much of the dates the next day, to her, was an indication she hadn't enjoyed herself. Could she have found someone to fill her life? A partner, or even a friend, whose first impression she deemed lack luster when really it was just brain fog?

"Vanya?"

She tilts sideways, letting her head fall onto Five's shoulder and he goes stiff and still. She's done this often enough at home she knows it's not because he doesn't like it, but because he's worried of dislodging her head.

"Okay, maybe a big deal," she admits.

[littlerit]

Obedience Suite (in A minor) Chapter 7: The liability

[ID an umbrella shaped cut out showing Vanya Hargreeves crying on the floor of her soundproof cell, with the words "Obedience Suite (in A minor) in white - best viewed in the classic blue pallette]

Read from the beginning || Read chapter 7

Teen rated || Genfic || Umbrella Academy || Vanya Hargreeves centric (pre transition) || No archive warnings apply

“I heard a rumour, that Vanya will always be obedient.”

Those ten little words were all it took to ruin Vanya’s life.

[allisoooon]

“If it was a theft,” the guy at the pawn shop said flatly, “then the police have to take it from me. Otherwise, you pay for it.”

Allison’s lips puckered, probably ready to Rumor the man then and there, but Diego placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Our brother’s gonna be here any minute with cash,” he told the man evenly.  “What we need from you before then is a description of whoever sold it to you.”

[rustic-space-fiddle]

Just a crummy sketch of my bby Vanya and her supportive bro <3

[five-hxrgreeves]

I Won’t Back Down - Five Hargreeves x OC

Word Count: 1,982

You can stand me up at the gates of hell But I won't back down I'm gonna stand my ground Won't be turned around And I'll keep this world from dragging me down

1 |  2  | 3 |  4 |

Pt. 3- Monday, April 1, 2019

The morning of the first dawned with a bright blue sky and perfect spring temperatures, almost in  mocking irony of the fate it would meet later on that same day. Suspecting nothing amiss, Lola began her usual morning routine of getting ready for school. After brushing her teeth, she went to her closet and decided on a pair of jeans, a white, long-sleeved v-necked shirt with black polka-dots and after brushing her hair, hesitated over a choice of hats that she owned. While there was no strict dress code at her school, she did like to make a good first impression on Mondays. The rest of the week was up for grabs.

Coming to a decision, she reached for a yellow hat with a navy-blue ribbon around the crown that was tied in a bow and placed it jauntily on her head. The brunette was somewhat known around school for her unique accessories so she’d only been indecisive over which style she’d wanted, not actually whether or not to wear a hat. She then pulled on a pair of riding-styled boots and picked up her backpack, sliding her deck of cards into the back pocket of her jeans. Lunchtime was usually a boring affair so it was often when she would practice her magic- sometimes with a crowd to entertain.

On her route to school, Lola passed the familiar Umbrella Academy house and wondered what transpired within the walls, remembering the strange man she’d met the previous week. She wondered how long it had been since all of the siblings had seen each other since from Vanya’s book, it hadn’t seemed like they’d lived under the same roof for a long, long time. A smile flickered across her face as she thought of grown-up superheroes attempting to act like real siblings and the interesting, chaotic bickering that might ensue.

(Of course, she had no idea that such arguments might result in the end of life on earth.)

After that, the day passed as it usually did, with millions and billions of people completely unaware of what the night would bring.

--

Once dinner was over, Lola scraped her plate clean and set it in the dishwasher before turning it on to run, blatantly unaware that this would be the last time she did such a mundane action for a long, long time. Then, she made her way into the family room where her mother, father and uncle were sitting on the couch about to watch TV. Both men had their traditional after-dinner drink of two fingers of whiskey while her mother sipped on spiked hot coffee.

“Mom?” Lola asked.

“Yes, dear?”

“I’m going to the basement now, all of the dinner dishes are cleaned up.”

Her mother’s blue eyes- the ones she’d inherited- flicked to the younger girl, “alright, but don’t stay up too late. It’s a school night, you know.”

Her uncle grinned, “yeah,” he said, breaking to take a sip from his glass, “wouldn’t want you to show up all grumpy for school tomorrow.”

Lola sighed and nodded in acceptance, “alright, I’ll do my best,” she said, knowing it was more than likely she’d lose track of time anyway.

Moving first towards her mother, then father and finally her uncle, she gave them each a goodnight hug and exchanged their daily I love yous.

(She would be grateful that these were the last words she’d ever said to her family. At least she wouldn’t have to live wondering if her family had known she’d loved them.)

Then, she went to the basement.

Not even a mile away, the beginnings of an altercation were occurring at the house the size of a single block where the seventh, disregarded member of the family of superheroes was receiving a hostile welcome at the introduction of her new boyfriend, Leonard Peabody.

--

Lola liked her basement. It wasn’t terribly large but it wasn’t terribly small, either. Half of it was unfinished and the other half was lived-in, creating a perfect balance. In the unfinished side, metal shelves that one might see in a hardware store stood floor-to-ceiling with various tools and stored holiday items. Paint cans, electric machinery, extension cords and other items one would normally find in a shed were scattered haphazardly along the shelves.

In the other half, a carpeted floor of some green color stretched from the back wall to right before Lola’s writing desk. On top of it sat an old, brown-leather couch, a black wooden coffee table from IKEA and a TV hung mounted on the wall. After the carpet ended, removable foam-padded tiles formed the floor. This was the area where Lola’s desk sat which was a large, white table. The desktop itself was almost empty except for her half-filled notebook, three different-sized candles, a pencil sharpener and a pencil holder. Her papers- both for school and other things- were stored in a hand-me-down brown file cabinet that stood to the left of her workspace.

Before sitting down to write, the brunette carried out her ritual warm-up: lighting the candles, flipping to the next available page, sharpening her pencil and placing her reference books on her desk- The Book Thief, of course, and her new book from Vanya Hargreeves. Then, she pulled her deck of cards from her back pocket and placed the rectangular box carefully on the lower-left corner of her desk, making sure to match up the corners of the box with the outlined shape created by the corner. She wasn’t sure why she did this, it just was something she absolutely had to do before she finally sat down.

Once finished, Lola made sure to flip the electric lights off and returned to her seat which was a rolly-chair with one broken wheel. She began to write surrounded by her small pool of glowing, flickering light.

Today’s memory is from when I was six. (Note to self: find a better opening.) It was my first time at the store for hours on end. Usually, a babysitter would come by and pick me up but I suppose she cancelled. (NtS: get more details. Just kidding, nobody cares about that.) Anyway, I was super bored and since I was little, I didn’t have any schoolwork to do. I wandered around the store for a bit, probably causing mischief. Anyway (you already said that, dummy) the funny part is that I sat down at a group of mannequins because there weren’t any other seats and I must’ve sat so still that everyone thought I was one because when I finally stood up, a woman screamed. I didn’t know why at the time but it happened again when I was older. Then I started doing it for my own amusement. It was funny to see people think that I was a fake, plastic doll only to realize I was actually real. Sometimes, I even went to the back and dressed in clothes that would soon be modeled by the mannequins- although I think the effect was ruined because I didn’t fit them.

--

A story up and a block over, the altercation had grown to a full-blown verbal assault, the main four members of the family heatedly questioning the new boyfriend’s insistence on them coming to their sister’s concert. The seventh member, feeling hurt and angry that her family wouldn’t, just once support her, felt the tension build up within her, her emotions unusually high from the lack of medication she’d consistently taken for years until this week.

--

The spot was also great for people-watching. While Gimbel Brothers has mostly ordinary clients, there are some cases that are more noteworthy (NtS: fix wording, sounds awkward). There are many people who bring children to the store as well. On Mondays, there is an average of twelve children, usually after school. The number varies throughout the week until Saturday where there are usually fifteen or twenty. One time, as an outlier during the holidays, there were twenty-five. I know this because I counted them. I don’t usually do it intentionally and I’m sure I miss some customers but for some reason, all the numbers stick in my head. The funny thing is, I’m terrible at math. I’m also really good at cards, though. I’ve never lost a game of War or Go Fish. My uncle says I’m a counter, which I suppose is true. I’ve also counted all the sequins on one of our formal dresses, just for fun. There were two-hundred and eighty-six.

--

As the sky grew dark outside, the argument in the large house had reached an all-time high with Leonard Peabody outwardly insulting his girlfriend’s largest brother, inciting his anger and riling him up purposefully, causing him to throw the first punch. The seventh member of the family desperately tried to pull her boyfriend away, to save him from an assault that he would surely not survive. She was right about that, but there was nothing she could do. There was only one person Number One listened to and it wasn’t her.

--

Anyway, back to people-watching. There was once a rich woman who came to our store. No one could figure out why; we’re not exactly the high-end type. She brought her daughter with her, a pretty, blonde girl with bright blue eyes. Almost like mine, I think, but they looked better on her. I heard her tell Brittany that she wanted to get her granddaughter ‘normal clothes,’ except she said it like an insult. I figure that when her granddaughter came to visit, all she provided were expensive outfits and the girl spilled on them, teaching her the lesson of buying cheaper clothes for little kids. She didn’t say all of that but I made up the story to go along with her request.

--

Standing over Leonard’s body, the seventh member of the Hargeeves turned on her brother, eyes shining white against her pale face. In his hand, he held a bloody, glass eyeball. Her siblings crowded together, trying to calm her, but she spent all of her life being calm and she was tired of it. Turning her gaze to the academy, the building shook under a ten-point-zero earthquake, the bricks and concrete falling down in rapid succession. Tearing her gaze away from the sight of her childhood hell, she let sound waves resonate through the street, knocking over buildings and causing them to collapse, burying her siblings in rubble. Carelessly, she walked away as anger, sadness and hatred fueled her steps to her apartment where she changed and gathered up her violin for the world’s last performance.

--

She was very posh too, with fur and everything. She stood still long enough that I could study her coat, which had thirty spots. I’m not sure if it was real fur (if it was, she’s a horrible person), but she certainly acted very high-class, even speaking a little nasally and tilting her head up to look down on Brittany. I think it might’ve been because of Brittany’s skin color. The woman didn’t seem to be very accepting of hard-working people that looked different from her.

--

At ten o’clock pm, the close of the concert, sound waves so large they felled the building and many blocks over swept through the city. A short, dark-haired woman with a glowing white light in the center of her chest rose above the destruction, sending out pulses of sound to the far-reaching corners of the world. With no one to stop her, no one to shoot a gun next to her ear, the bottled power exploded from her chest sharing with everyone the feelings of hurt and neglect that she’d been forced to endure throughout her childhood. One person alone survived in a basement not much deeper than the fictional character’s she admired, writing away and completely unaware that the world above had changed beyond recognition.

[holymultiplefandomsbatman]

Running Home To You || Five Hargreeves Imagine

Five Hargreeves x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Five accidentally takes you with him when he ends up in the future. For the next 45 years, you stay together, eventually falling in love. But what happens if you get the chance to go back to your own time?

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, kissing, death (like in the og TUA episode)

Requested by anon

My dear anon, thank you so, so much for sending in this lovely request! I’m so sorry it took a while to write. I really hope you’ll enjoy it!

There were only so many times one could stand hearing no as an answer. Especially when they were young and believed they knew better.

That day came for Five at dinner, when he asked Father about time jumps – again. And Sir Reginald barely looked up from his plate while he denied him, again and again.

“You’re not ready, Number Five. Now stop with this nonsense at once!”

Five caught Vanya’s eye across the table, the way she shook her head, silently pleading with him. Usually, he’d listen to her – but not this time. Instead, he turned around and stormed out of the house, his heart beating heavily in his chest.

He was good enough, he was ready! He’d show them all that he was!

Five jumped, the blue light surrounding him until he plopped back into existence on a busy street. But it wasn’t a street like the ones he saw once a month when Mother took them shopping. The people were wearing clothes he’d never seen before, holding devices he didn’t know.

Time and space blurred once again when he jumped a second time, and Five reappeared on another street that was foreign to him. People hurried around him like a swarm of busy bees. They were so preoccupied with their own lives that they likely didn’t even notice someone just appearing out of nowhere in the middle of the freezing street.

Five took a moment to just stand still and look around. Warmth filled him despite the freezing cold – pride.

He’d done it! He’d proved Father wrong! And nothing terrible had happened.

A bell rang somewhere close by, maybe the doorbell of a small shop.

Five briefly turned his head towards the noise. To his left, on the other side of the street, a door had opened, and someone was stepping outside with what could possibly be a sandwich in their hand, Five couldn’t tell. He also didn’t care, just rolled his eyes and turned away, trying to concentrate on his breathing.

The bell chimed again, close by this time.

Five exhaled a gust of air through his nostrils. “Screw it,” he mumbled to himself and disappeared in a puff of blue. Something bumped him while he jumped, but he didn’t pay it any mind.

Five reemerged in front of a burning building – or rather, what was left of it. Only the entrance doorway was still standing, the rest had been torn to shreds. Pieces of what had once been walls littered the ground.

Five took a shaky step forward. He stared at the ruins, ice running through his veins. He’d recognize that doorway anywhere.

“Vanya?” he asked, his throat so dry he could barely get the word out.

No answer.

“Vanya! Ben!” This time, his voice was louder, even though it cracked at the end.

Still no answer.

Five stumbled forward, through the main entrance into what had once been the dining hall. Now, it was all a big pile of rubble, the edges scorched from flames. His heart was in his throat as he called for his siblings, increasingly desperate while his voice only got weaker.

“Luther… Diego…”

Five searched the ruins of the Academy, heart racing in his chest. They couldn’t all be gone! He’d just seen them earlier at breakfast… Vanya had told him not to do it, why hadn’t he just listened? Why hadn’t he–

There were bodies.

Five stumbled towards the biggest pile of shards and stone. He stopped when his foot touched something soft, and as he looked down, he saw that he’d stepped on a hand. He reached out, pushing some of the burnt stone away. More and more of the body came into view.

It was Allison.

Or rather, what he presumed to be Allison. This person didn’t look like his sister at all, at least at first glance. They were older, at least ten years older than his siblings, maybe more. But they were wearing Allison’s necklace, the one Luther had given her, and if Five knew one thing, it was that Allison wouldn’t take that necklace off, whatever happened.

A choked sound escaped Five’s mouth.

Next to her was Diego, and Klaus a bit further away with ash in his hair and stains on the audacious black coat he was wearing. Then Luther, who was now bigger and stronger than Five had ever seen him before. But the hand desperately reaching into Allison’s direction was unmistakably Luther’s.

Five’s knees gave out. He stared at his dead siblings helplessly, unable to understand what he was seeing.

“Where am I?” a voice piped up somewhere behind him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the corpses, too caught up in replaying the fight in his head that he’d had with Father this morning, over and over again.

Father had been right. He wasn’t ready…

The sound of crunching rubble came closer. Someone stood next to him, and Five turned to see you beside him, face scrunched up in confusion while you stared at the ruins of the Academy.

“What is this place? Where am I?”

Everything slipped.

Like painting with a too-wet brush on a canvas, the colors blurred together, this time not because of a spacial jump. Five looked around, suddenly unable to see anything.

Voices echoed around him, rambling, whispering, screaming.

You’re not ready, Number Five! Not ready… Five… Not Five… Ready…

“Five!”

That was your voice, he would recognize it anywhere. Five stumbled to his feet, his eyes darting around in confusion, but he couldn’t see you anymore.

“Five!”

“Y/n! Y/n!”

He called your name again and again, until his voice was hoarse and all that came out of his mouth was a weak croaking sound. He had lost you now, too.

Five’s heart was heavy, sinking to his stomach like a stone as he fell to his knees. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He couldn’t tell if it was from the smoke in the air or the sudden realization that he was all alone now.

He had no one left…

 “Five!”

Five jolted, his head just barely missing the desk lamp. He blinked his eyes open, then stared at you. He was confused and still panicked, his heart racing in his chest. The pictures were still flickering behind his eyes, how he’d jumped in time and gotten stuck in the hell that was the future, together with you.

“You fell asleep at work again.”

You smiled at him, that soft expression on your face that always made his heart skip a beat.

Five could only nod slowly. You were right – his desk stood in front of him, the papers that were piled on top of it were filled with his messy scribbles. Calculations upon calculations…

“Thanks for waking me up.”

You nodded, still smiling, but he could see the crease between your eyebrows, the worry in your eyes.

Five reached out and took your hand that was resting on the back of his chair. He softly ran his fingers over your skin.

There was the ring he’d given you years ago, the rather simple golden band standing out against your skin. He’d made it himself, forged it from whatever he could find. Years later, he’d offered to buy you a new ring, a real one, but you’d declined.

Five still remembered how fast his heart had raced when he proposed to you: he’d been so, so nervous. He almost couldn’t get the words out. The mere thought that your answer could be no had destroyed him.

When you said yes, voice steady and so sure, he’d wrapped you up in his arms and didn’t let go for a long time.

Five also remembered the wedding day itself, how it had been just the two of you reciting your vows in some wrecked building that was somehow still standing. It was the happiest day of his life.

Then again, almost all of his happiest memories were connected to you.

You tilted your head, the smile slowly fading. Your frown was more prominent now, with furrowed eyebrows and your lower lip slightly between your teeth. You weren’t gnawing on it, at least that stage of worry wasn’t reached yet.

“Hey,” Five said, trying to keep his voice calm, “I’m okay. It was just a nightmare.” He didn’t quite believe the words himself, and he could see in the way you fiddled with the locket around your neck that you were still worried. The necklace was a gift from your grandmother, and you were always wearing it – even on that fateful day you’d run into Five after class.

Five kept on tracing his fingers over your skin in circular patterns. You looked down at your hand, followed his movements with your eyes. Five could hear his breathing, so loud in his ears, but he tried to ignore it, to shake the leftovers of the dream.

This wasn’t about him right now. He needed to reassure you, to take your fears away.

Five hated to see you worried, especially when it was because of him. He always wished he could protect you from all of it, keep you safe from all the pain the world could bring. But he knew it was impossible, even for him.

“Oh, by the way–”

Five let go of your hand to duck under the desk and pick up the briefcase he’d stored there.

Your expression shifted as soon as you saw the case. You frowned at Five when he handed it to you.

“Again??”

Five’s lips twitched in amusement at how exaggerated your voice sounded. He glanced at the briefcase sheepishly before looking back up at you.

“Something is wrong with these things, I swear!”

You only sighed heavily and rolled your eyes, inspecting the banged up case. You frowned at the handle that was still connected to the briefcase by sheer luck alone – and by a very thin string of the material that held it together.

“Did it go up in flames again this time?” you asked, barely looking up from the burnt spots on the case.

Five tried his very best not to look guilty as he shook his head. “No.”

You lowered the briefcase and stared at him with raised eyebrows, an expression Five knew very well after all these years.

“I didn’t do anything!” he tried, but when it came to the tech you developed, you were ruthless. No matter how much of a kind person you were outside of the Commission – nobody messed with your technology.

Except for Five, who was notorious for always returning from missions with briefcases or weapons that were either completely broken, or almost irreversibly damaged.

Five crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the briefcase. There was just something about that expression on your face that made him feel like he was being scolded. It brought back memories from his childhood that he tried to ignore.

“Listen,” he started again, “I don’t know what happened. The stupid thing went up in flames as soon as I was back here! I don’t know why!”

Five didn’t tell you that, after a mission, there was nothing better than seeing your face and hearing your voice. Nothing calmed the boiling blood in his veins like when you hugged him close, whispering soothing words into his ear. Most of the time he didn’t even understand what you were saying, but the tone in your voice was enough.

If he had to damage Commission tech so he could see you, well… It was only a small price to pay.

But he would never tell you that, he knew better.

You kept staring at him for a moment longer, and something in your face told Five that maybe you already knew. You lowered your eyes to the briefcase in your hands without another word, a heavy sigh escaping your mouth. Your fingers followed the dents in the material, especially the scorch marks.

You shook your head and turned back to Five.

“At some point you’ll get into serious trouble with the Handler, I swear.”

But the words didn’t hold much anger, and your lips were twitching as you tried your best to hide your smile.

Five nodded, fighting a grin of his own. You rolled your eyes and stood properly, lifting the hand that held the briefcase.

“You’ll get this back in a few days. The damage is even worse than last time – and I have to say, I didn’t think that was even possible.”

Five opened his mouth to respond, but you shook your head.

“Handler wants to see you by the way, she came looking for you earlier.”

With that, you left, grumbling under your breath about expensive technology.

Five followed you with his eyes until you disappeared through the doorway. Once you were out of sight, he allowed himself a small smile.

Five ignored the Handler’s request to meet him for as long as he could. It wasn’t entirely on purpose – even though he really didn’t want to talk to the Handler as long as he could avoid it. He was also just really busy, being assigned mission after mission, and he couldn’t do much against that despite the many orders he received from the Handler’s office.

There came a time though where Five couldn’t deny the requests any longer. Handler had become impatient, and her meeting “requests” started to sound more and more like an order.

That was why Five found himself sitting in the Handler’s office at her desk, a cup of coffee in front of him.

She did make good coffee.

“So, Five…,” Handler continued the conversation after taking a long sip from her own cup, “I hereby give you the order for an assassination.”

Five hummed in response, waiting for her to continue.

The Handler set down her coffee cup and handed him the file he’d need. It held all the necessary information on the target as well as how the hit would be executed. Five took it without another word, reaching for his cup again – and promptly grasping into thin air as he read the name of his target.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

“You got to be fucking kidding me…”

The Handler didn’t consider his remark worthy of a response, since she didn’t react to it at all.

Five skimmed through the pages, his disbelief growing continuously. He was really supposed to shoot JFK. And he knew a lot of the people who were supposed to help him do it, too.

“Why–” Five started, raising his head from the list of names to look at the Handler.

She held up a hand to interrupt him.

“I know what you just read. And yes, I want Y/n to join you! She’ll be an excellent addition to the team, don’t you think?”

Handler looked at him with her crocodile smile, that expression of a wild cat playing with its food. Five had a feeling she’d done this on purpose, choosing Y/n as part of the team, maybe because he’d ignored her for so long.

“Y/n is very skilled,” He admitted, because it was true, you were. But he’d much rather known you safe inside the Commission than out on the field, where you were in constant danger and he wouldn’t be able to protect you the whole time.

The Handler still had that crocodile smile on her face when she rose from her chair, the usual sign that the meeting was over. She turned towards her bookcase, running her fingers over a few spines as if contemplating something.

“See, I knew we’d agree it’s the best choice. I wish you the best, Number Five.”

And with those words echoing behind him, Five was led out of the office.

The streets were filled with people, cheering, screaming. Music was playing from somewhere, and the smell of cigarettes hung in the air.

Five pulled a face. He hated the noise and the people – just people in general, really. Especially when he had a hit to execute, a hit as important as this particular one. It was too much – too many liabilities, too many factors for possible complications. The risk of something to go wrong because of a single person was already–

“Five.”

Five looked up, right at you. You had that soft look on your face again. The sight of you alone was enough to quiet down the rambling voice in Five’s head, the one that usually wouldn’t stop reminding him of so many risks.

Five shot you a quick smile. “I’m okay,” He reassured you.

Your eyebrows knitted together into a frown – you didn’t believe him. It didn’t surprise Five, you simply knew him too well. You’d been able to read him like a book from the start.

There was no more time to argue when the signal came that the operation was about to start. Five grabbed his gun, reloading it. The movement was so familiar by now, he did it without even thinking.

“Let’s go, fuckers!”

You snickered behind him, and Five’s lips twitched for a second, before he got into position and set up the gun. Locked on target. He focused on the oncoming car, still far away but in shooting range – at least for him.

Five took a deep breath. In. Out. In.

People were throwing some flowers into the air, or confetti. They weren’t important. All that mattered was the target, who would be at the right spot in 3, 2, 1…

Five pulled the trigger.

Kennedy collapsed in the car, his head lolling about – dead.

The first screams echoed up from the street when Five set down the gun.

Target executed – flawlessly, as usual.

He turned around and looked over at you instantly, wanting to make sure you were alright, even though, realistically, you weren’t in danger.

Not yet at least. One could never be too careful.

You gave him a tiny, encouraging smile, but your eyes told a different story. There was a tiny crease between your eyebrows. You’d grown up with the tales of JFK’s assassination after all, and knowing now who had really been responsible – knowing you, personally, had played a part in it – was certainly strange. Five couldn’t deny he felt weird about it himself.

Your eyes softened a little bit when he leaned forward and reached out to hold your hand, swiping his thumb over your skin tenderly.

“I’m okay,” You whispered, taking a deep breath as you spoke. Five could tell you were fighting for composure. He hoped that whatever comfort he could provide was helpful.

The crowd below had dissolved into panicked screaming by the time the group of agents was packing up their equipment. People were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. It was pandemonium, but was that really a surprise?

Five reached for your hand and laced your fingers together, squeezing once. You gave a squeeze back despite not looking at him – you were watching over the other agents like a hawk, as if to make sure no equipment was damaged. There was a lot of expensive technology involved after all.

And yet, all it had taken to execute the mission was one man with a shotgun.

Five exhaled from deep in his chest when it was finally over. The first agents disappeared in bursts of blue light, not seeming deterred by the chaos on the street below in the slightest.

When the two of you were the only ones left, Five turned to you.

“Are we really doing this?”

You didn’t respond for a long time, and Five was about to open his mouth and tell you it was okay, that he could wait until you were ready, when you nodded once. A very small and unsure nod.

Five waited, giving you time to maybe change your mind. When you didn’t say anything like that, even after what was probably a minute of silence, he nodded and led you to a different area. It was still secluded, but a little bit more open, with trees and bushes hiding you from view.

It had taken years – decades – of calculations, but Five had finally figured out a way to return to his time.

He’d spent weeks after the discovery in deep thought, pondering if he should tell you or not. After all, he had somehow ripped you from your own time against your will all those years ago. He didn’t want to take this new time from you as well, should you choose to stay here.

You’d been shocked when Five finally gathered the courage to tell you. But you decided rather quickly that you’d come with him, no matter what would happen. He’d hugged you close again, just like on your wedding day, and had sworn to himself he would never let you go. No matter what happened.

“You need to help me with this one. I know the numbers, but if I get stuck you’ll need to tell me what comes next.” Five stated, pulling out the calculations. He glanced up from the paper to see your reaction.

You nodded, this time with more certainty than before.

Five’s eyes flew over the numbers one last time before he handed you the book and took a shaky breath.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes,” you responded, your voice strong and without doubt.

Warmth filled Five’s chest. You trusted him so much. Even after all those years, it surprised him sometimes. How much you really cared about him.

Five clenched his hands into fists, concentrating on the numbers he’d memorized. Blue light flickered around his fists, so he tried harder, and harder, until finally a flash of light almost blinded him.

The portal was weak, a lot weaker than it was supposed to be. Five stared at his creation, ice running through his veins the longer he looked at the portal.

It wouldn’t be strong enough to carry both of you…

Five met your eyes over the portal’s rim. Your excited smile slipped when you looked at him, then at the portal, and back at him. Realization had dawned on you, he could see it in your eyes.

“It isn’t strong enough for both of us.”

Five said it anyway, his throat constricting as he did. His knees were turning into jelly the longer he looked at the portal, realizing the consequences.

Only one of you would be able to go through. He’d lose you either way, and with you maybe also the possibility to ever see his family again. But you could also return to yours, make amends and explain why you’d never come home on that winter day 45 years ago…

Five took a deep breath, then made a decision. “You go through.”

Your beautiful eyes were wide with shock when you looked at him over the portal’s edge.

“What?? No! You need to get back to your family!”

Five growled in frustration. Did you think this was easy for him? He wanted to see his family again, he’d been plagued by nightmares every night to this day of them dying, and him unable to do anything. He had searched desperately for 45 years to find a way to see them again.

But Five loved you. And he’d find another way to return to his time, see his family and hopefully even find you again.

He would do anything to make sure you were safe and happy.

“You got stuck here because of me. I won’t take the choice away from you this time. Go!”

You didn’t listen. Instead, you shook your head, those eyes he loved so much filled with certainty despite the tears running down your cheeks.

“No.”

Five cursed under his breath. Why was this the time you decided to be stubborn?

“Y/n–“

You shook your head, interrupting him.

“No! Listen, you’ve waited for this moment for 45 years. You need to get back to your family. I–” Your voice cracked, shaking so much from the tears that you could barely get the words out. “I’d rather stay here knowing– knowing you’ve made it back home, than to– than be in my time knowing I took that chance away from you.”

You were openly sobbing now, tears streaming down your face.

The portal cracked and sizzled. It wouldn’t hold much longer…

A decision had to be made.

Five fought for control over his emotions, but in the end, he started crying as well, a pained sob clawing its way up from deep inside his chest.

“I love you!” He called over the noise of the portal, almost choking on the words.

You let out a sob, nodding your head in response. “I love you too…”

With a last look at your tearstained face, Five jumped through the portal.

 He’d expected the weird pull in his lower belly like always when he jumped in time. He hadn’t expected the bone numbing pain that wrecked his body, or the hot flash up his spine that blinded him for a moment.

With a painful thud, Five landed on wet, hard ground. He mumbled a harsh curse, wiping away the tears on his face roughly. His body hurt from the jump and the fall, but it couldn’t compare to the pain in his chest from knowing he’d never see you again.

“Five??”

Five’s head shot up.

And there they were, his siblings – but older than when he’d left them all those years ago. They all looked just like they had on that terrible day where he’d jumped into the future and found them all dead. The day the world ended.

The same day that had also brought you into his life.

“Little Number Five…” Klaus looked at him in disbelief, a cigarette dangling forgotten from his hand. Five couldn’t believe he’d actually missed his idiotic brother.

The words registered. He looked down, seeing that his clothes were a couple sizes too wide, and his feet barely fit into the big shoes he’d been wearing without issues until now.

“Shit…”

Five grumbled a few more curses under his breath. He tried to walk without falling on his face in the clothes that didn’t fit his 13-year-old body.

The crack of thunder echoed behind him.

Five turned around, frowning in confusion, when another portal opened up in the sky, this one a lot stronger than the one he’d used. Through the sizzling, whirling light he could see you, your body being wrecked by the same force that had almost split his brain in half upon arrival.

You landed face first in the wet leaves.

“Y/n!”

Five hurried towards you, stumbling over the pant legs that were way too long for him. He let himself fall to the ground next to you, not caring about the wet floor that soaked his clothes and left him shivering in the cold air.

“Y/n! Hey love, look at me! We made it…”

You blinked your eyes open, and they widened instantly as you saw his face – the face of the boy who had brought you into the future all those years ago.

“Am I dreaming?”

Five choked out a laugh. He cradled your face in his hands as you slowly sat up, a lump in his throat. Relief washed over him like a wave, so intense that, hadn’t he been kneeling, his legs would’ve given out beneath him.

Your eyes flitted over his young face in confusion, then around the garden.

“Am I dead?”

Five let out another laugh. It was the first real, happy laugh in a while.

“No, love, you made it! We made it!”

Your eyes were wide when you looked at him, and Five just pulled you into a kiss before wrapping his arms around you and hugging you close. He’d never let you go ever again, he swore it.

You buried your face in his neck, clinging to him like your life depended on it. Your body had grown young again, but your scent was still the same, and so was the way your hands wrapped around the back of his neck and pulled him close when he let go to kiss you again.

Someone loudly cleared their throat somewhere in the background.

Five turned away from you, back to his family who were standing there, staring at them in shock and confusion.

“Everyone, this is Y/n!”

You gave a shy wave while you stood up, then wrapped your arm around yourself to keep the shirt pressed against your now young body.

Five handed you his way too big jacket so you could cover yourself. Then he grabbed your free hand, pulling you past his confused siblings and into the mansion. He’d explain everything later… probably.

“Let’s go save the damn world!”

More of my stuff

Fandoms I write for

[zbeez-outlet]

Stumbling at Light Speed Masterlist

Five Hargreeves x OC | TUA Canon Universe | Slow Burn Relationship

Concept || On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He got seven of them.

That is, until a rather extraordinary eighth is perched drearily on the Academy's front gate six years later.

A/N: This is going to be a multi-book, multi-chapter story! A kinda big endeavor, but I'm excited to get into it because this character has been bouncing around my head for months now. Book One is going to follow them all as children in the academy; the following three books will be about seasons 1-3. It's definitely a slow burn series, and Five will be physically aged up to 20 because I refuse to write minors in relationships. I hope you enjoy!

**NOTE ABOUT VICTOR: I want to respect the character of Victor and the journey that he takes to discover himself because, while it wasn't planned from the beginning, I think they write his transition from Vanya fluidly and respectfully. So, in line with the show and his character arc, until I get to season 3 and his transition, Victor will be depicted as Vanya. I hope this isn't upsetting to anyone, and if there are ways I can write Victor pre-transition more respectfully, please don't hesitate to reach out and let me know, your feedback means everything!

Books ||

Growing Up Curious How Not to Stop an Apocalypse by Five and Noa Do It Again, But With Style! Something Wicked in the Works

[kilibaggins]

Family | Diego Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves x Reader

Not Requested (Requests are open!)

Summary: Diego Invites you to his fathers funeral.

A/N: This is pre-funeral and very short but I saw a prompt somewhere and wanted to write it! (actually really fluffy) I’m hoping to write a LOT more Tua fanfic so! Watch for it maybe?

Warnings: Death Mention (yknow, funeral?), Klaus is called a ‘Junkie’ (but not really TOO negatively), and I think that’s it it’s mostly fluff.

Words: 259

“You want me to go?” You ask Diego, your eyebrows knitted, “This is your father’s funeral, shouldn’t that be a family-only event?”

“You are family,” Diego says firmly, and you blink at him for a moment not knowing what to say, “Seriously, Y/N, You’re my family now, alright? And I don’t think I’d be able to survive this funeral around all of those people without you.”

You nod slowly and lean forward, cupping his cheek. 

“It’s going to be alright, okay? I’ll be there and we’ll get through the service and that’ll be the end of it,” You promise, giving him a soft kiss. He kisses you back, his arms coming up to wrap around your body tightly. 

“What if Luther decides to be a jerk about something?” Diego asks, burying his face in your neck. You sigh and rub his back.

“Then I’ll tell him off,” You say, only half-joking. You’d probably yell at Luther until you were red in the face if he ruined this day even more for Diego. 

“You sure you want to go?” He asks, hesitant, “I mean, you’ll have to meet my family. That includes Vanya, and Luther, and Allison, and-” 

“Klaus. I want to meet Klaus, honestly. He sounds fun,” You say smiling at him. He scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

“He’s only fun because he’s a junkie,” He says, and you laugh, shoving at his shoulder. “Seriously he’ll probably annoy you.”

“I’ll just have to figure that out for myself,” You say, and Diego smiles. 

The funeral probably won’t be too bad with you by his side.

[saccharii]

TUA fics that deserve more attention

The Umbrella Academy fics under 200 kudos that are REALLY GOOD

I did this before in the BNHA fandom (with a limit of 500 kudos because it’s a much bigger fandom) and I’d thought I’d do it for TUA, too. So many fics get overlooked because of how few kudos they have. 

To be on this list a fic must fulfill two requirements: be 200 kudos or less (as of me posting this), and be one month old or older.

Violent deaths create the worst ghosts by beebot

Warning: gore and violence, Dark!Ben

Horror, canon divergence - Unlike in canon, Ben is not different from other ghosts. He is angry and focused on the injustice of his death and desires revenge on Reginald. He takes his feelings out on Klaus.

There are two fics in this series, both of which are under 200 kudos. It’s a bit dark, which I think scared some people off it, but very good. The series is complete.

Not a Replacement, Never a Replacement by AndThenHeGotKnockedUp

Pacific Rim fusion - Klaus is a former Jaeger pilot who hasn’t been back in the cockpit since his partner Ben died mid-drift. But the Kaiju attacks are getting worse and worse, so Luther drags him back to the shatterdome because they need all the pilots they can get. Mostly Ben and Klaus brotherly relationship with pre-Klave.

Honestly, I don’t know why this fic has so few kudos. The fusion between TUA universe and the Pacific Rim universe was well done. You don’t need to have seen PacRim at all to understand this. All you need to know is: giant monsters called Kaiju come out of the ocean, and two people must merge their minds together to pilot giant robots to fight the Kaiju.

doppler effect by galaxyowl

Power swap and role reversal - Each of the Hargreeve’s siblings were born with a different power, and this changes everything and nothing. Someone still time travels to the future and comes back to stop the apocalypse, one Hargreeves sibling still dies as a teenager, and Vanya is still the cause of the apocalypse. Just who does what and how is shuffled around.

Told in a non-linear fashion.

as constant as a northern star by katplanet

Warnings: WIP, E-rated (no porn yet but knowing Kat it is coming)

Vampire AU - Takes place in a world where vampires are real and widely known. The story covers vampire Klaus traveling back in time to fight in a (fictional) war and meeting Dave. Klave. 

I’m bending the rules a little bit since this is not quite a month old yet. Seeing as it is sitting at 33 kudos as of me writing this, I doubt that it is going to go over 200 kudos in the next four days. Truly excellent worldbuilding. 

Together We’ll Be, Forever You’ll See by OverlyObsessed223

Warnings: WIP

Canon divergence - The Handler kidnaps Klaus from the mausoleum as a child and raises him herself alongside Lila. She is far better at this raising child soldiers thing than Reginald is.

I bent the rules with this one, too. The first installment is just over 200 kudos. I’m still reccing this because of its interesting, well executed premise. Can’t wait to see more.

Truth to Be Told by Scarlet_Nin

Canon divergence - Reginald figures out that Klaus can see Ben’s ghost after Ben’s death, no matter how Klaus denies it.

Another bending of the rules, this is also slightly over 200 kudos. It’s also the first in a series, and while the oneshot itself is complete, the series is not. 

[amortensie-moved]

cym in tua??

it’s missing the umbrella academy hours again.

@daydreaming-optimist as diego hargreeeves. i dont know how well you will do with knives, BUT diego is such an inner softie with a heart of gold.

@onceupon-a-decembr as allison hargreeves.

@musicallisto as klaus hargreeves. maybe you have a lower chance of ‘accidentally’ starting a cult but i think you just have that carefree people energy that can match well with klaus’s!

@lxncelot as ben hargreeves. you were my first thought for this character, it just somehow fits? and pls i love him sm i can’t wait to see him in the next season.

@eatacrackerandstop as vanya hargreeves. introverted and sweet while still being incredibly talented and contains that potential for great power inside~

@katherinerose64 as grace hargreeves. she’s the robot mother, but don’t let that fool you! despite that, she is still incredibly caring and sweet, just like katherine’s warm energy

@johnskeating also as grace hargreeves. buut for more variation i will say pre-robot grace!

@all-you-wanna-do-your-best as lila pitts. you just.. have that energy. she’s a badass and iconic character and honestly, you have the same vibes as her!

@meiitanoia as eudora patch. underrated underrated underrated

@gallagherfionas as sissy cooper.

[uniasus]

Just a sample of the next Grocery List Goals chapter.

This one will be long. I want to cover a lot of stuff before we get to the ~drama~ but I think it'll be one scene too short to be slipt up into multiple chapters.

-------

"Sorry," she says again, giving him her serious attention. "What do you want me to do?"

He tilts his chin up and says in a rush, "Pretend to be my mom and tell them I'm sixteen."

"Are you sure?"

On the fake IDs they have for when they run, Five is listed as Vanya's adopted son. They needed a legal tie between him and then, and since he is living with Vanya it made sense. She never expected to actually play the part of his mother.

"Vanya," he says, "I want this job."

He wants it because they need it, she knows. Five's contributions to their bank accounts has been the smallest, even as he's been the most attentive in helping Vanya. Part of her wants him to not work so she knows he'll be home most times she walks through the door. More of her hates the idea of having forced her entire family into jobs for cash instead of seriously considering career options.

Six months, she tells herself. Six months is a short enough of time to the nearly thirty years she's lived. To the fifty-eight Five has seen pass. He would not accept her mothering, for all that he likes to mother her. For all that she looks so young.

Perhaps because of it, she thinks.

"Okay," she says, shifting the weight of her violin. "Do you have your application on you?"

He pulls it out of the inner pocket of his jacket, loose rolled.

Vanya closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She does okay with arguments with her siblings, but she's wary of them with strangers. The medication had made her so passive, it'd become a learned trait, but that wouldn't work her. She needed to be a lawnmower. Or a tiger.

She remembers Allison's answer to a questions Vanya had asked about acting. "I always dreamed of a different life, not being part of the Academy. Acting is me just, embodying all those different dreams."

Vanya has never dreamed of being a mother, but she has dreamed of protecting her siblings from Reginald.

"Let's go," she says, pulling Five's application from his hands and marching into the coffeeshop.

[allisoooon]

[jubberry]

As great as wlw rep is, and as cute as vanya is in s2, i cant help but feel robbed af on her arc this season. The end of s1 promised a TON of rich character exploration for vanya. Her trauma should've been carefully examined, and her relationship with her siblings explored more because of that because the whole premise of s2 was that they were gonna 'fix her'.

Beyond that, this was supposed to be the season where we find out who vanya really was without the pills, and as a person dealing with powers + her trauma and her guilt for her actions last season. I cant help but feel that the amnesia is just a different set of pills. Sure shes happier and lighter now, but thats because they erased the trauma from her and that was a big, defining part of her character and the plot in season 1.

I honestly wouldnt mind her amnesia that much if it related to her character development more. Like, maybe if she start remembering bits and pieces of herself and talking about it with her sibs, it might create an interesting way to start that conversation. As it is, she literally just forgot everything and is basically a new character tbh.

(does her emotions even affect her powers anymore? if shes so happy shouldnt there be a lot of wind or something? theres definitely scenes where she was very angry or full of emotion so how come... stuff didnt happen?)

I was kinda hyped to see Vanya learning to control her powers. She's a complete amateur but she has to deal with so much power. It wouldve been cool to see how the hargreeves would train her, considering they have such different skillset and personalities.

I've already talked about how her character development was held off for the romance. Vissy is really sweet but I still feel robbed af because... were watching season 2 of a pre-existing series. The fact that her romance doesnt really serve her character development is annoying, I may as well be watching a seperate movie instead of a sequel. Wlw romances are always great, especially since so many people watch tua. But I cant help but feel how rewarding it is to have Vanya's trauma and guilt explored first and create a fleshed out, complicated wlw character instead of heading straight to a romance plot where one of the most important aspects of her character doesnt even matter.

I get that tua wants to appeal to the demographic that doesnt particularly care about stuff like this now and just wants more chaos and fun of the hargs, but i still feel bad. I enjoyed s2, but the end of s1 really got me thinking so much about where they could go. Its hard to get that hype for s3 for me now, considering how much they didnt keep from s1.

Also I'm starting to think people only care about Vanya if she likes girls and is happy, not the messy, angry side of her that deserved to be explored in s2. I liked watching this season, but I cant but feel tua is just gonna be another generic superhero marvel movie. Since what really grounded the superhero aspect of s1 was the human side of childhood abuse and exploring how trauma shapes people in many ways that doesn't neccesarily look good all of the time.

The focus in civil rights and social issues this season 100% matters considering its set in 60's Dallas. But I also cant help but feel that.. considering how much they amped the funny, bloody violence side of tua, they're trying to make it seem like the what 'grounds' tua now is that theyre willing to explore social issues this much compared to other superhero movies. When they really didnt need to do that because what set them apart already in s1 was how they want to talk about trauma and childhood abuse?

S2 really is more of a reboot than a sequel tbh. I'm glad that other people had fun watching, cause I did too. But now I cant help but miss s1 and all the aspects that made exploring the characters and worldbuilding so engaging in the first place. And the fact that they dropped so much of that this season... it just makes me wonder if exploring the characters further and theorizing even matters?

[five-hxrgreeves]

I Won’t Back Down - Five Hargreeves x OC

Word Count: 1,385

You can stand me up at the gates of hell But I won't back down I'm gonna stand my ground Won't be turned around And I'll keep this world from dragging me down

1 | 2 | 3 |

Pt. 2- The Last 6 Days Until Apocalypse II, 2019

The next few days passed much the same as they always did. School was indeterminable boredom and after was a blur of time. It was nights that Lola really lived for. She wasn’t sure why but the dark, mysterious blackness that covered everything was so much more intriguing than the bright daylight. It helped spur her mind into its most aggressive thinking, it sped her heart up as she made her daily route to the large, unused library, it made her eyes strain to the best of their ability to see outlines in the blackness.

Now, don’t get her wrong- she was a fan of the light. She needed it to write, to see distinctly, but the quiet calm that came with the night was something so few people experienced in a world of billions that it made it more special to her. She didn’t think she’d ever like complete blackness, though.

The dark of night allowed her some cover as she slipped quietly into the Umbrella Academy’s library, her feet soft and quiet on the wooden floor. By now, she knew the layout by heart and made her way easily to the last place she’d taken books from and zipped open her bag carefully, extracting both volumes. While they hadn’t been extremely interesting, she’d liked learning from them as much as all the other books she’d borrowed from the library.

Lola quietly slid out the next two. One was a thick, bound leather book and she could feel the embossed gold on the cover as she slid it gently into her bag. The books on the shelf fell with a muted thump as the space became available and she winced but no one came, as usual. She moved to the next one, which was slimmer and a regular hardcover, its contents remaining a mystery until she could read them in the light.

After zipping her bag back up, she crept back down the stairs and made her way towards her usual escape except- she bumped into a soft-bodied figure and nearly screamed.

“Who-who’s there?” a light, airy voice called out, “are you a ghost?”

Her pulse picked up and Lola’s voice came out in a stutter as she said, “y-yes. O-of course,” then, feeling the need to be more ghost-like, she gave a fake, quiet moan, “wwoooohhh, my spirit is restless,” she sang in whisper.

A hand gently hit her face and brushed up and down as if petting her, “there, there, ghostie. Don’t bother me now.”

She leaned away from the man’s touch and scrambled for what to do next, but then the man seemed to freeze, “why’re you solid, ghost?”

“Uh- I’m special?” she tried, wincing at the lame answer. Luckily, the man seemed accept this and nodded, “okay, well, don’t follow me to bed. I’m open to many things but ghost sex is stretching it,” he gave an exaggerated shudder and stumbled past her, clumsily patting her on the shoulder.

Lola’s face burned bright red and she was glad it was too dark to see. After he left, she hastily made her way to the open window and slipped out, breathing a sigh of relief when her feet landed on the grass. His kids must have come back for the funeral, she thought as she made her way home. He’d spoken about ghosts, so it- it must’ve been The Séance.

She hoped he wouldn’t tell his siblings what had happened- that wouldn’t bode well for her. Luckily, he hadn’t seen her face and he also hadn’t seemed to be completely there, so he probably wouldn’t remember.

--

After school on Friday found Lola walking down the main street towards her father’s store. Now that it was the weekend, she didn’t need to be picked up and hurried home from school so she could start her homework. The local bookstore caught her eye and her father’s words echoed in her ears about the Hargreeves’ autobiography.

The bell jingled as she entered the shop and a female assistant made her way to the dark-haired girl to greet her, “good afternoon! Is there anything in particular you need help finding today?”

Lola gave her a smile and nodded, “yes, actually. I’m looking for an autobiography. Its, um, by someone of the last name Hargreeves.”

The woman’s smile flickered for a moment before broadening, “of course, right this way! We’ve moved them towards the back now that they’re not popular sellers. I think we still have a few copies, though.”

Sure enough, in the back of the non-fiction section the name Hargreeves stood out like a sore thumb, at least in Lola’s opinion. The book was titled Extra-Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven. The brunette slid a copy off the shelf and turned it over to read the summary on the back. There seemed to be a surprising amount about the woman’s- Vanya’s- family contained in the book.

“Will that be all?” the attendant asked.

She gave a nod, “yes, thank you.”

“Alright, dear, I can check you out at the counter.”

Lola followed the employee back to the front and made her purchase using her saved-up allowance money. Most of it was used for notebooks, writing utensils or additional book-buying so she had enough saved to purchase Vanya’s book. After leaving the shop, she made her way to the local diner, Griddy’s, texting her uncle of her change of plans.

Once there, she sat at the bar where an elderly woman came to greet her, “hello, dear, what can I get for you?”

Lola eyed the treats behind the counter thoughtfully, “classic glazed, please, Agnes,” she added her name after reading the woman’s tag.

“Of course, one moment,” Agnes said cheerfully and turned to complete her order.

She set the doughnut down in front of the girl, “if you need anything else just give a holler.”

Lola nodded in thanks and cracked open her new book, eager to read a professional autobiography. While she had studied some for research it had been awhile since she’d seriously read one.

My name is Vanya Hargreeves and this is my story it started out and the brunette smiled slightly at the similar openings. Pulling her pencil from behind her ear, she jotted down a note in the margin before continuing.

We were never a real family. We were our father’s creation, family in name, but not in fact. In the end, after our brother Ben had died, there was really nothing connecting us. We were just strangers living under the same roof, destined to be alone, starved for attention, damaged by our upbringing, and haunted by what might-have-been. We all wanted to be loved by a man incapable of giving love. Our father never missed the opportunity to remind me that I was ordinary, a hard thing for a little girl to hear. If you’re raised to believe that nothing about you is special, if the benchmark is extraordinary, what do you do if you’re not?

Lola sat at the counter as minutes slipped passed, slowly eating away at her doughnut and reading Vanya’s book, occasionally scribbling between the lines as she wrote notes for herself. As she read, she realized she liked Vanya’s writing style. The woman didn’t write daily stories and chronicle her life as if everything was significant but she also didn’t write the major events like they were items on a grocery list to be ticked off once they were written. Instead, she wrote in a way that made the objective viewer feel as if they were actually there, experiencing Vanya’s life. The brunette supposed that this is why the book lost popularity; some of the moments were too raw, too painful, to want to go back and reread and live through again.

Sometime later, her phone buzzed in her pocket, causing her to jump in surprise. The book lay before her more than half-read, pages wrinkled and dirty from pencil smudges and sugar from her sticky fingers as she’d turned the pages, hardly looking like a newly-bought book. Reaching into her pocket, the girl checked her text which was her uncle wondering where she was. Looking outside in surprise, she realized the sun was setting.

“Shit,” she breathed, hurriedly packing up her things. Hopefully, she wouldn’t get too much of an earful.

[ofmythsandmadness]

MY THOUGHTS ON TUA SEASON TWO: PART ONE (spoilers)

So...I finished season two. And I’ve got a lot of thoughts.

I’m putting ALL my thoughts under the tab so please, don’t click unless you’ve seen it all, and/or you just....like don’t care about spoilers? But please if you’ve not watched it, watch it first ‘cause it deserves all the hype and attention. 

(if you haven’t watched yet, go into your settings and blacklist the tag ‘tua spoilers’ because that’ll help you avoid anything if you don’t want to be spoiled, at least on here)

Also, this is part one to my thoughts, because it’d be much too long to list it all here! Part two will be linked below this :)

This is going to be SO badly organized, but I’m gonna do my best to make it otherwise! I’m separating it all under sub-headers, just so you don’t have to read through ALL my thoughts on the series (but there’s a lot, sorry).

I legit just watched it all last night, so it’s fresh but also still jumbled and messy. So bear with me.

Also, let me know what you thought, I’m eager to hear others’ opinions of this show!

AS A WHOLE... So, so, SO damn good. I was scared, and worried and I thought there was gonna be a lot more pain...but it was so good. Arguably better than the first season, I think because the characters are fleshed out and have developed more, and I felt myself caring more for their wellbeings (even though I would have already died for most of them).

Honestly, no. This season WAs better than the first and I’m gonna stick with that.

I also really loved the colour scheme of it all?? I think they did that really well the first season too, but the colour choices and how they alternated between blue and orange, it keeps your attention and adds a vibrance to the characters that was there before but not so loudly.

I want to watch it again and admire how they shot/edited it too, because I actually really was impressed with the shots too (normally Netflix shows aren’t super cinematography-heavy, don’t know if that’s how to say that, but TUA really came through and I’m impressed). I don’t want to drone on about that because i know most don’t care about that as much, so I’ll leave it at just...I was impressed, and most happy with the overall presentation of the show.

LUTHER HARGREEVES...

The way i actually now love him?? 

I mean I felt bad for him in S1, but here he’s an actual character and I cared about HIM, rather than what he had gone through. From the moment he said ‘I don’t give a shit’ in episode one, I liked him again and I’m SO glad. 

I didn’t really love how he still pushed for him and Allison...I mean, I understand that you can’t just erase the feelings, they still stand, but I would have liked a little bit less of it. It’s just awkward to watch and to contrast with Klaus literally calling them out, I appreciate that it wasn’t so prevalent but it was still there. 

But overall!! He became a character I actually really liked, he was actually funny too?? Dorky too, and also just more sure of who he was as a person rather than the number...Luther rights.

DIEGO HARGREEVES...

One word: BIIIITCH.

He was one of my favourites from the show pre-S2, and now I can say he might just be my favourite. I would fight fire for that man.

I didn’t think he’d be almost the main character of this show (obviously one of them, because they’re all main characters ig) but I liked it a lot! We really got nothing about who he is as a person in Season One, and though a lot of people were able to fill in the emotional blanks, there was a lot more given to his character and who he is beneath the hard-headed vigilante.

I think David Casteneda did a brilliant job on his character, and had one of the best performances out of all of them. I knew he was good, but I truly was shocked at how good he did as Diego, and I’m happy to see him as an actor thrive and get more credit. He deserves it, and I’m quite happy. 

Surprisingly, he was the character to make me cry (I cried at Ben too, don’t worry, but!). When Reginald said that shit to him, I was in fucking pain. I won’t get too deep into it, but just the way his face dropped, and then the stutter - it struck a cord and I cried more at that then I did the rest of the show. Dunno. Maybe that’s just me.

But just like...I wish he had more support...everyone just kept calling him dumb and mocking him and I KNOW his obsession with JFK was dumb and aligned with the Luther moon thing and he didn’t have the greatest plans and I’m not saying all of his actions were right, but he was fucking TRYING. And some of it, they played it off for comedic effect but they were literally just trashing on him for doing the right thing and making him look stupid...it made me a little sad.

I am glad, however, at how he rekindled with all his siblings. Because arguably, Diego was an asshole to all of them and though again, arguably they all were and none of them are doing well and there are reasons - they were all assholes to each other, and especially him to them, especially Vanya when she really didn’t deserve it. And to see them at least begin to mend their relationship made me so happy. The way that in the end, they sat together?? And how he accepted her apology just like that?? I sob.

The scene where diego just says ‘there’s this girl I like - I CRACKED UP AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY IT’S SO FUNNY BUT JFC THAT WAS SO FUNNY. That and threatening Olga - top tier funniest moments of the season for  me. They really amped up the comedy this season and I’m happy.

One thing I didn’t get was in the last episode, when he bent the bullets’ trajectory for Five...did he know he could do that? Like I understand that he could do it, but we never saw him do anything else around those lines, aside from in the doomsday season ep1, but that was an alternate history so...I’m guessing Reginald taught him, but??? It was kinda random and I would have liked if they hinted at it at least once before.

To summarize, I love him. I love how far he’s come and I hope he just finds some happiness because he keeps getting the short end of the stick. He deserves the world.

(also, diego hargreeves a huge ass nerd. y’all can’t convince me otherwise. big dork energy)

LILA PITTS/DIEGO & LILA:

You know what? I loved her.

I didn’t like her character as much post maybe episode 6/7, basically once she brought Diego in I was disappointed but I liked her character. I think she was cool and different and chaotic and though I was disappointed that towards the end, she felt a bit thrown in, I still appreciated who she was. I was honestly hoping that she would have left the Handler a lot sooner, I thought they were gonna make her realise the truth a lot sooner but at the same time...this is her maternal figure, she’s been basically brainwashed into that support and there’s gonna be an element of love regardless.

I knew she was gonna be one of the 43 though, the second I saw 1993 I called it and I was happy I was actually right on something. Idk her powers, that too seems a lil bit messy but still, I thought it was neat. I just want to see more! And I think we will, hence why I’m trying not to judge her much, but i hope that we get to know more about her. I don’t want a half-baked love interest, and I was hoping that there was going to be a little bit more this season - but we shall see.

(ritu arya, though, is quite good in her role. and stunning. i quite love her)

I also didn’t HATE the relationship between her and Diego. I know it’s a divided topic but I liked it, I thought they were fucking cute and even though i KNEW there was something off about her, I was just HOPING that it’d be different. I mean, that scene on the bed with them???? I think my heart gave out. Palpitations, bitch. I was so fucking soft for them and even when she was exposed....I stillllllllll wanted the best. :(

And then like shit happened and then it got a little messy (y’all should learn how to communicate...throwing out boyfriend and ex-girlfriend terms like that???) and like yada yada, I was okay but I don’t necessarily like the ‘I love him/her’ thing. I mean sure you can, but THAT felt a little quick. I don’t know why tv shows just LOVE to throw out the I love you’s that FAST, but I’m not into it. 

TL;DR - I still REALLY like Lila Pitts, and I still like them together, somewhat (though like maybe slow your asses down folks).

(question though...are we supposed to think of them as siblings now?? bc...idk I don’t see it like luther/allison because they weren’t raised together and really didn’t associate like that?? but are they all reginald’s alien children cause in THAT case wtf am I suppose to think help-)

PART TWO TO MY THOUGHTS: here.