#vanitas the traumatized

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

vanitas episode seven “love” and that iconic tamaki line that i’ve rephrased (bc that is seemingly my only talent)

vanitas: “i’ve never danced with a vampire before”

noé: “yeah well i’ve never danced with an idiot before so,, i guess we’re even”

if you want to read a very fluffy (and very gay) rewrite of this episode check out “why don’t you dance?” on ao3 by wonderfilled18

[callilemon]

A piece of you ✨️🌹

[gulava]

You forget I plan for every eventuality.

[neversetyoufree]

Looking back through the first couple volumes of VnC, it's wild how much of what Vanitas does in early chapters is nothing but a series of transparent attempts to put himself in control when he feels uncomfortable. You don't notice the first time you read it, or at least I didn't, but he's really quite obvious once you have the knowledge of what subjects he's sensitive about.

I've touched on this before, but I think Vanitas's biggest defense mechanism is theater, specifically playing up his own power/unpredictability in order to make everyone around him uncomfortable. "Vanitas" is a character that he plays, and he weaponizes that character against others when the man behind the act feels threatened.

(Now that we're under the readmore, here's your warning for a VnC-standard amount of discussion of sexual assault).

Even starting in his very first scene in chapter 1, when we've yet to see Vanitas get anywhere close to vulnerable or upset, we get a hint of how he operates. His first attempt to get Noé away from Amelia isn't to physically fight him—it's to play sinister and deliver a vague threat.

He could have gone straight for the knives, or he could have told Noé the truth that Amelia herself was dangerous and urged him to get away. But that's not the person Vanitas is. He doesn't talk things out with honesty, and he doesn't resort straight to violence unless he's really over the edge. He threatens and plays up his dangerous persona to get what he wants.

He even uses the very same line with the security guards later in the chapter, playing sinister again to escape arrest because he might be screwed otherwise.

He's pretty much never authentic pre-catacombs, but moments like this where he dials up the act to achieve something show how in control he is of his own inauthenticity. And he never takes advantage of that control more than when he feels threatened, be that threat physical (like the security guards) or emotional.

When Noé asks him about how he inherited the book of Vanitas in chapter 2, something we now know is a sensitive secret, Vanitas immediately changes the subject. He gets in Noé's space, acting borderline flirtatious (and he often does get flirty as part of his persona), then returns to the topic of Noé being his shield (which is an act in itself, given how he really reacts to being protected).

It takes one poke to the chest and a couple of sentences to switch the conversation from "Noé insists on knowing Vanitas's sensitive past" to "Noé has to deal with the mysterious, overbearing Vanitas's whims," which is just how Vanitas wants it. Playing up his demanding, in your face side buries the threat of an uncomfortable topic.

Then, when Dominique suggests that he worships the blue moon during the bal masqué, we get a much more extreme incarnation of this same behavior. Domi's words threaten to undermine a huge part of the narrative he's built for himself as Vanitas, and they do so by dredging up a truth that he wants desperately to keep buried. He might not worship the blue moon, but he really did love Luna, and being reminded of that throws a big wrench in the narrative of his revenge against them.

He cannot handle having his narrative undermined at this point, and especially not by a reminder of Luna, who is arguably the most sensitive part of his whole tragic backstory. So he freaks out, and freaking out for Vanitas means throwing himself into his false persona as hard as he possibly can. He grows sinister, speaking darkly before breaking into maniacal laughter that startles Dominique and her attendants. Then he hurls his constructed narrative into public view, revealing himself and ensuring that every vampire knows his claim of "wanting revenge."

Nobody's going to forget the human that leapt onto a chandelier in the middle of a ball, revealed himself to be the kin of the blue moon, then swore his vengeance against that very kin, and that means nobody else is going to misunderstand him like Domi and dredge up the truth: that he never really hated Luna.

Going manic and theatrical like this is a defense mechanism, and it's one that ensures not only that Domi stops hassling him, but that, hopefully, he'll never even have to consider worshiping the blue moon ever again. It's a total rejection of an idea that made him uncomfortable, achieved through theater. It also takes a situation that was quite out of his control, his being chained up by Domi, and turns it into a scenario that he engineered, where he is in absolute control of the crowd for at least a few moments.

The best example of all this though, the time when Vanitas combines every form of weaponized persona I've talked about into one awful act, is the scene in which he forces a kiss on Jeanne.

As I mentioned before, Vanitas often plays up his flirtatiousness as part of his persona. He does it with Jeanne quite often, and he does a (usually) subtler version of it with Noé a few times as well. It's a great way to change the subject and make throw people off their game without resorting to threats, and his treatment of Jeanne in chapter 4 is an extreme, but not too surprising incarnation of this same flirty habit.

He might be attracted to Jeanne, but attraction alone is not a reason to force a kiss on an unwilling stranger while ending a fight. Vanitas kissing her was, as much as any other moment I've referenced here, an instinct to protect himself and gain control of a situation that otherwise threatened him.

Winning the fight or not, Vanitas is in a tenuous position in terms of control when dealing with Jeanne. Jeanne is an incredibly strong opponent, and she managed to withstand both a bite from a curse-bearer and a direct stunning hit from the Book. Vanitas has played all of his cards, and his only insurance that she won't murder him immediately is Noé, a man he barely knows, successfully keeping Luca hostage without realizing that's what he's doing. These are not great odds. He's also extremely attracted to Jeanne, and though his initial attraction to her isn't nearly as distressing as his full-on infatuation in mal d'amour, being weak to the sight of her represents yet another loss of control.

Then Jeanne tries to sacrifice herself. She tells Vanitas he can do anything to her he pleases, so long she can protect the child she's devoted herself to watching over, and there is no way on Earth that this moment isn't a trigger for Vanitas, because he once did the exact same thing. He's already in an unsteady situation, and then she reminds him of Misha and his own darkest moments, which means that conversation has to end immediately.

"Please don't hurt him," is the last thing Jeanne says before Vanitas flips suddenly from threats to advances, and his face when he gets close to her is manic.

So when Vanitas gets uncomfortable, what does he do? He changes the subject wildly, suddenly making the whole situation about him and his fickle, unpredictable moods and unreasonable demands. He cranks up the character of the wild, demanding, show-stealing Vanitas to eleven. He kisses Jeanne. And even though it's a cliche line, the fact remains that sexual assault is never really about the sex. It's about power and control. Vanitas does wild things and plays up his persona as a clutch for control when he's uncomfortable, and this is that to an extreme degree. This kiss gives him the power in their interaction.

Plus, the specific bad memories that Jeanne unintentionally triggers for Vanitas are all about bodily autonomy. His own "do what you want to me, just don't hurt the kid" moment was protecting Misha in Moreau's lab, which led to physical violation after violation. It was a complete loss of his agency and autonomy. And his memory of Misha is also deeply tied to whatever happened with Luna's death, and given the possibility of his being made their kin without consent, that memory may also be one of the loss of autonomy.

This scene is Vanitas not just getting triggered, but being reminded of his loss of control and ownership of his body. It makes a twisted kind of sense that the resultant clutch for power and control comes via him forcing his body onto somebody else. He manufactures a situation that is all about bodily autonomy, but he has all of it and the source of danger has none. And he does it all while stealing the show and rerouting the topic as he always does.

Just like so many other actions he takes early in the series, his most reprehensible moment is just another desperate grasp at control. He has to be threatening and showy and unreasonable. He has to be the kind of man that announces himself as savior to a room full of powerful enemies. The kind of man can force himself on a powerful woman like Jeanne. Because if he doesn't drive home the act well enough, somebody might gain access to the horribly vulnerable person underneath.

[pjowasmy1stfandom]

Ah yes, the age-old question of fiction involving Traumatized Teenagers: Is this Trauma or is this Puberty?

[bookdragonquotes]

[zakuryoishi]

the wonders of having a favorite character - aka i drew astolfo lets pretend it's still jan 6 (at least in my timezone)

3 years of drawing birthday art for him but first time posting it!! i still feel insecure about it though i think i'll draw him more because first of all i love him forever, second his design is neat

[sunsetsmakemesad]

Before the Horrors And Tragedies™️

[yumio-avi]

Noé has to be the most traumatized dude.

i mean, poor man sees everyone else's trauma when drinking their blood, that shit can't be good for your mental health

[foxchainart]

You ever play with that friend who you all know is going to win but you play anyways because hey, maybe you'll be lucky and today will be an off-day for them? Yea, it's never an off-day. Stained glass window decor from Honey Ocean Creations on Etsy- these are just too cute not to draw. (though I didn't ask for permission so if you want me to take this down, just say the word) AU Varian design by Swift

[moxie-girl]

some chasseurs :)

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

spoilers for the case study of vanitas

[during/ after chapters 14-21 or episodes 8-10]



dr. moreau: “i don’t want your soul, number sixty-nine.”

vanitas: *bitterly and with anger in his tone* “then what do you want from me?”

dr. moreau: “beyond your gift of returning back to me i want you to do the one thing you’re good at.”

vanitas: “and what’s that?”

dr. moreau: *grinning* “being my test subject, of course!”

[liltaireissocute]

Vanitas: <3

Astolfo: you're fucked

[beanyboobee]

The case study of Vanitas is not a case study that follows just Vanitas. Though Noe says he is recording down the memories he had with Vanitas.

The story itself is about every person's journey. About everyone's joys and how they found their way to the end of the tale, and after googling what the term Vanitas means, I think it just backs to up further

The case study of vanitas is us studying vanitas a person but it's also a case study on humanity.

A study that follows what it means to be happy and what it means to live such a short time.

Vanitas isnt the only person in this story that's focused on. We focus on Noe. Dominique. Jeanne and even louis. A multitude of characters, background characters and side characters. We learn about them, and through Noe a character who knows very little about the world around him. This becomes a story of us learning what it means to be human through Noes eyes.

The Case study of Vanitas

The case study of Vanity

The case study of fleeting happiness

Before tragedy strikes.

The death of Vantias may also represent the death of Noes Happiness. Or the death of his nievitity. His fleeting happiness comes to an end when Vanitas Dies.

We also have yet to learn Noes true name and I would like to take a guess that it's something that eaither is the opposite of the meaning of Vanitas or something that shares the meaning.

Through out the story we have seen Noe make friends, enemies and even seen him marvel at the wonders of life around him. Never choosing vampires over humans and even being oblivious to the discriminations Dhams face in the world and being confused in the face of such a prospect.

Noe as we know is writing this tale, recording it down as is the job of an Archvisitie to not forget. But he records not just the happy times. But the sad. The traumatic. We see Vanitas past. Alfronsos, louis and Jeannes. All with fleeting moments of Ups and Downs, joys and Sorrows.

Noe is recording a lifetime. Not just a moment. Because what is fleeting happiness? And what does it mean to be happy.

And in the end this is a case study of him really trying to decipher not just who vanitas was. But what it means to feel, to live, what is this sense of emptiness he feels.

Noe is a character that no stranger to voicing how he does not understand many emotions. Asking vanitas what is love. Saying he felt a heavy weight in his chest and then ominously saying he wouldn't realise what that meant till much later. He often sleeps for quite along time after a traumatic event insted of talking about and dealing with them.

Noe has an emptiness in himself. An emptiness that's always beenthere though he doesn't quite realise it yet. Is it grief? Is he still mourning? Or is it just he can't find his place in the world just yet.

This may also be a case study on that. A case study on a fleeting life.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

I’ll start with some news.

I am currently locked out of my twitter account. We did everything we could to try to get it back, but no matter what happens, it will most likely take some time.

I don’t like bringing attention to this kind of stuff because we have tons of other things to talk about which are more important than some toddlers trying to obliterate us for 1000th time (frankly I would rather talk about the colour of Leona’s butthole), but this time it’s kind of serious and important. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, but for now I wanted to say that if we won’t get the account back in time or will lose it indefinitely, we will have to ask for your help. I am sorry for that in advance.

Also, if you were discussing/working on commissions with me via DMs there, please email me or contact me via any other platform as soon as possible. Just in case.

Mass-reporting is wild, eh?

I am rambling a bit, and I didn’t really want to complain, because I know for a fact it would give satisfaction to some people, but you know? I am going to complain: it sucks ass. It happened at the worst time possible and it happened over nothing (literally, the art that got it was a Todd/Wallace non-sexual piece that got too many likes for children’s liking). I don’t care if people don’t like us, I don’t care if they gossip with their girlies about us, all I want is for them to leave us the fuck alone and let us do our thing in peace. Imagine being so unbelievably boring and so incredibly unlikeable and unable to make meaningful connections not only with other people but also with any kind of media that you just have to go out of your way to ruin things for others because this is the only thing that makes your immature brain produce something that even remotely resembles joy. Because your own pathetic self is so deeply insecure and constantly frustrated at yourself that you just have to create an illusion of control over someone else to feel important. I can’t even call it a troll behavior – at least trolls are funny sometimes. This is just someone who hit a midlife crisis at the age of 16 and made it my problem for some reason.  

And yet, it’s okay. Even if we end up losing our account, it’ll be a huge disappointment and it will hurt us tremendously, it already did. And it’s scary to think about this scenario, and it’s difficult to talk about how, if it happens, that it’s going to be okay. But eventually we’ll get over it and build ourselves up again, just like we did before several times. And these clowns will still be boring, unlikeable, lonely and very likely shit at drawing.

So yeah. Take care of yourself and block everyone who seems suspicious on sight. It’s not a panacea, but certainly is helpful.

Alright, time to talk about Leona’s butthole (not really, but we will talk about SebeMal, and it’s even better) 💪

Anonymous asked:

Seeing Vanitas made me curious about something: did you ever read Pandora Hearts? I think for a lot of people that series went hand in hand with Black Butler as the main "victorian aesthetic mangas" from the late '00/early '10. Gothic lolitas really had it all back then..

Ohh you’re so right Anon, it was the ultimate late ‘00/early ’10 aesthetic! Boys in vests with bows/ties, crosses and rosaries and traumatic and problematic backstories lol I really miss it sometimes. What an era.

I personally haven’t read/watched Pandora Hearts, but Katsu did! But it was even before we met… So my only association with this title is that Katsu’s old username was “ozbezariusnya” 🥰 Oh, and that Gilbert (?) looks very cute, but let’s be honest, of course I would think he is cute.

nebula-ryuu asked:

Regarding my question, I mean if the Malleus and Sebek ship has a dynamic or a context 😅😅 a background or a story. I have a certain feeling about what it is like but I don't want to affirm anything hehe

I don't know if I made what I said better understood, in any case I can explain it again, no problem 🙏

Oh! Thank you for clarifying!

As for our background for shipping them, we just really really love loyal characters that are a bit unhinged about their loyalty and love/obsession. So we didn’t even have a choice, they stole our hearts… and Malleus is very interesting in his interactions with Sebek too; he is annoyed by him sometimes, but he tolerates a lot and teases him.

As for the ship itself, we tend to think that in addition to Sebek being loyal and obsessive with Malleus, he is also deeply in love with him ever since he was a child. He is conflicted because he really wants to be his lover, but also thinks that he isn’t worthy. Malleus is amused by Sebek and allows him to do much more than he probably should. Actually, I think I talked about their dynamic in this post!

I hope I understood you correctly. Thank you for your question! And if you have any more questions, please let me know.

Anonymous asked:

would Lilia and Azul ever fight over who gets to have Idia?

Replied here! Thank you for your question, Anon.

[deviant-writes]

How did Noé sexually assault Mikhail? I thought Mikhail threatened to kill Dominique if he didn't bite him which seems pretty nonconsensual the Other way to me but is there a different scene you're talking about?

i’ll be real i did expect hello charlotte to be pulled on me but regardless. i do understand noé feels no *desire* towards children but the majority of the characters who commit acts of sexual violence don’t feel attraction for their victims, but they are still portrayed as vile for it, and noé feels really exempt from this? for example, i sincerely doubt ruthven is attracted to jeanne, but he is still portrayed as despicable for sexually abusing her. similarly, i doubt luna felt such inclinations towards their children, or even had any desire to hurt them, but i have no choice but to call them a pedophile seeing as they definitely sexually abused both vanitas and mikhail. i get the feeling that the author is concerned that fans may dislike noé, and is just running herself frantic telling us he is a nice person. which i don’t really think is a cause of concern since i’m pretty sure people love vanitas despite what he’s done. i guess i’m just not a fan of how the story is handling noé.

I think this is all a very reasonable response to the story and the way it's presented and I in large part agree. The last few chapters especially have, I think, been pretty odd and tonally discordant with the series as a whole. I have a few ideas as to why this might be (including that the author... is evidently having some personal issues right now) but for now I'm treating what has been presented recently in good faith and assuming the story will generally continue with its established themes.

All that being said, I think a very important thing you're missing in this analysis is that Noé is the narrator. Every moral judgement made explicitly by the narrative is, in fact, Noé's judgement, and the thing that makes Noé interesting to me is how effectively this fact is erased, despite his being the narrator having been explicit since the first chapter and repeatedly brought to attention since.

You're in fact completely correct that the story exhibits a lot of inconsistencies in its moral judgement specifically when it comes to Noé; it's also made clear that Noé is an unreliable narrator and extremely inconsistent in his moral judgement. In a particularly obvious example, the chapter immediately prior to VnC's year long hiatus has Noé dismiss his own sexual assault on the basis that Chloé and Jean Jacques are "nice people," which multiple characters immediately acknowledge as disturbing.

The arc in which Noé assaults Misha is by far most overt about emphasizing that Noé is both morally inconsistent and an unreliable narrator. The arc is framed by Domi's account of Louis's death and how it differs drastically from that which Noé previously gave, and its conflict, in contrast to previous arcs, mostly relies on Noé's failures to appreciate his relationships and the effects he has on others. He loves Domi, but is ignorant to the abuse she faces and her feelings toward suicide. He's obsessed with Vanitas, but as repeatedly pointed out, he knows almost nothing of substance about him, and is particularly blind to Vanitas' feelings towards him. In this arc, Noé (who is being presented as 'neutral' narration) contradicts his own account of his first meeting with Vanitas, then acknowledges that he ignored his own capacity to cause Vanitas harm. In this arc, a third party explicitly states that Noé's capacity for violence stems mostly from Noé's self-assurance when it comes to his own morality; Noé understands himself as a good person with strong principles, and so Noé assumes any action he perpetuates is morally righteous or at least neutral, regardless of its effective violence. I do not think it was an accident that all of this happened in the same arc!

I think it's also important to point out that all of this is a very long time coming in terms of Noé's character development. Noé's driving conflict as a character is mostly that he is very principled and very strong willed, but that these principles were developed were developed in effective isolation, and quickly break down when applied in real moral quandaries. Noé is a very good person in the abstract (he clearly has a real understanding of sexual consent, unlike Vanitas and Jeanne!) but has no way of resolving moral problems in material conditions. Thus when he is sexually assaulted during the Gévaudan arc he makes no effort to actually morally analyze this, regarding Chloé and Jean Jacques not as generally well intentioned people who are nonetheless clearly capable of great harm, but instead ontologically Good People, and thus not real perpetrators of sexual assault, even when Noé was perfectly willing to acknowledge their actions as such before getting to know them. Similarly, when Noé struggles in his conflict with Astolfo on the basis that the latter is the child, Vanitas' assurances during the conflict are evidently taken not with respect to the actual conditions, but as an assurance that Astolfo has been removed from an ontological Good category but is now Deserving Of Violence. Noé is incredibly distressed at the idea of hurting Astolfo until he is given permission to ignore the conditions of their fight, at which point he attacks Astolfo with near-lethal force and does no further moral reflection on the matter! And while we are led to believe that in Astolfo's case this force was necessary, it's still, in my opinion important to acknowledge that Noé's conflict with Misha was immediately preceded with Noé being told that he is "allowed" to commit violence against children.

All that being said, I do understand if you think that Noé's behavior surrounding Astolfo does not necessarily precipitate his behavior surrounding Misha, and I do agree that it is a severe escalation. I think another important factor to bring up when I say that Noé's apparent moral degeneration has been very heavily foreshadowed is that Noé is a very clear foil to Ruthven who, as you point out, is clearly morally condemned by the story as a rapist. There honestly isn't much to analyze on this one, it's just kind of true! Specifically, Noé is shown to have the same or very similar ideals to that of Ruthven in his youth, and it's strongly implied that Ruthven's assault of Noé immediately prior to the Gévaudan arc was in some way instigated by Ruthven recognizing Noé as very similar to himself. It's not hard to see what is being foreshadowed in comparing Noé, a scholarly, intellectual idealist whose conflict centers on his attempts to apply his ideals to the real world to Ruthven, a former idealist intellectual-activist who grows into a violent and cynical politician after years of disgrace. Take this also with Ruthven's assault of Chloé and Jeanne, then with Vanitas as foil to Astolfo and Misha, and Noé's patterns of violence begin to strongly cohere.

Sort of the nail in the coffin, however, is evident from the conceit of the story itself: Vanitas' motivation throughout the entirety of the story has been to die and disappear. He wants to hide his past trauma and especially that related to Luna (which, we agree, is that he had been sexually abused by his adoptive parent) and is apparently so scared of having this being revealed that he attempts to kill Noé and risks his own life in his efforts to conceal it.

And we fucking know that Luna raped Vanitas, because Noé killed him then made the fucking Case Study of Vanitas!!!!!!!!!!