#vanitas the traumatized

[aventurineswife]

"A Symptom Of Something" - Anaxagorus x Astrologist! Reader

(This one definitely takes a darker shift, the music alone speaks volumes. You mentioned not being the best with writing from music alone as a prompt, so I'm here to train you. Can also use the titles as ref!)

“Memento Mori, My Star”

Summary: In the ruined halls of the once-sacred Grove of Epiphany, an injured Astrologist stumbles upon forbidden truths—and Anaxagoras. As celestial alignments and soulbound experiments unravel around them, Anaxagoras must choose between shielding the Astrologist from divine retribution or allowing them to glimpse the truth no mortal was meant to see. Caught in a moment between blood, memory, and fate, they confront mortality, their bond, and the impossible weight of knowledge.

Tags: Anaxa x Reader, Astrologist!Reader, Angst with Comfort, Forbidden Knowledge, Protective Behavior, Slow Burn, Emotional Baggage, Soul Experiments, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Affection, Experimental Magic, Academic Heresy, Vanitas Themes, Flawed Genius, Memory as Narrative.

Warnings: Blood and injury, Body horror (mild, related to magical experimentation), Existential themes (mortality, divine defiance), Psychological distress, Trauma mentions (implied past enslavement, loss, manipulation), Power imbalance (emotional vulnerability, not abusive), Heavy introspection and emotional intensity.

Tagslist: @sewoui, @tremendoustragedybard, @axolotsofluv

The Grove was burning.

Soot choked the skies where once constellations shimmered. The sigils engraved on its marble archways flickered one last time before crumbling. Between the tremble of the stars and the shriek of alchemical steel being ripped asunder, you found him—bent over the shattered remains of a Coreflame crucible.

"Anaxa!"

He didn’t look back.

Your fingers, cracked from defending your ward only hours before, now trembled for a different reason. The man before you — one eye veiled behind a soul-warped eyepatch, the other a hollow ocean of light and torment — moved like a marionette without strings.

"You shouldn’t be here," he murmured.

You stepped forward. "Neither should you."

He laughed. Low. Unstable. The kind of sound that made your bones ache. "And yet, here we are. Two symptoms of something wrong."

You didn't have time to argue before the structure behind him groaned like a dying god. You lunged. Pulled him back. Rubble collapsed where he stood.

For a moment, his forehead leaned against yours. Eyes closed. Breath shallow.

"Did you see it?" he whispered.

"What?"

"The truth. Burning through the veil."

You stared at him. Ash clung to his lashes. Gold blood still oozed from his knuckles.

You wanted to say: I only saw you breaking.

But instead, you replied, "I saw the stars fall."

Days later, you sat in the hollowed remains of the observatory. The dome had shattered long ago, and yet the night sky still spilled overhead in fractured beauty.

He sat beside you. For once, silent.

In your lap, the child you protected slept, fevered from the lingering poison gas of the Titans' failed countermeasures.

"You once called me a liar of light," he said, finally.

You hummed. "And you called me an obedient machine of starlight."

He tilted his head. "You weren’t wrong."

"Neither were you."

You looked to him. His eyepatch shimmered, and you wondered if he could see through your silence, your guilt, your clenching heart.

"They said this world is a Vanitas," you whispered. "But I never imagined it would take everything I cared for and leave behind... this."

His gaze didn’t waver. "Then paint something new. You have the stars still."

You scoffed. "You don't get to say that. Not when you almost let yourself die back there."

He reached over. His gloved hand brushed your temple, then down to your jaw. A careful caress. You flinched at first. Then leaned.

"If I die, remember this," he said softly. "Even when the truth is a blasphemy, it's still worth dying for."

"And what if I think you are worth living for?"

He paused. That mask of arrogance slipped.

His voice cracked. "Then perhaps... I have one truth left worth defending."

The child now slept safely in a hidden sanctuary, your blade set aside.

You and Anaxa stood beneath a dying star, its light pulsing slow and broken. It was the same star you charted when you first met him. The one he called the "chained god."

"It’s beautiful," you murmured.

"It’s dying."

"So are we all."

His eyes met yours. "Would you still follow me, if I declared war on the divine?"

"Yes."

"Even if I turned into a god myself?"

You stepped closer. Pressed your palm to the mark (idk what it's called?) on his chest.

"Only if you let me be the one to remind you what it means to be human."

He laughed. This time, it was soft. Real.

He took your hand. And in a rare gesture of fragility, he pressed his lips to your knuckles.

"Then promise me," he whispered. "That if I become a monster, you'll be the one to kill me."

You shook your head.

"No, Anaxagorus. I'll do worse. I'll love you."

And in the silence that followed, the dying star pulsed one final time.

[Navigation]

[callilemon]

A piece of you ✨️🌹

[pjowasmy1stfandom]

Ah yes, the age-old question of fiction involving Traumatized Teenagers: Is this Trauma or is this Puberty?

[yutamayo]

"It was always about you. Seldom me. And never us." - Michael Faudet

[rummigumi]

May be a hot take, but I don't really like the whole 'Pit Madness' bit, even when ignoring fanon vs canon debate. I feel like it takes away from the relatable part of Jason's story -- something awful happened to him, and it left him traumatized. Like, instead of exploring how trauma can change someone and the impact it has on how they react to things and those around them, everything just gets blamed on Pit Madness

[goodnightsasuke]

watching noe get assaulted while Vanitas is w Jeanne is so horrifying VANITAS STOP CHASING PUSSY AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE FUCKING GAME!!!!

[manydisorders]

baby sora's heart being the site of respite for an unspeakably old child soldier makes me so emotional... ventus is the closest thing he has to a brother

[bookdragonquotes]

[zakuryoishi]

the wonders of having a favorite character - aka i drew astolfo lets pretend it's still jan 6 (at least in my timezone)

3 years of drawing birthday art for him but first time posting it!! i still feel insecure about it though i think i'll draw him more because first of all i love him forever, second his design is neat

[yumio-avi]

Noé has to be the most traumatized dude.

i mean, poor man sees everyone else's trauma when drinking their blood, that shit can't be good for your mental health

[foxchainart]

You ever play with that friend who you all know is going to win but you play anyways because hey, maybe you'll be lucky and today will be an off-day for them? Yea, it's never an off-day. Stained glass window decor from Honey Ocean Creations on Etsy- these are just too cute not to draw. (though I didn't ask for permission so if you want me to take this down, just say the word) AU Varian design by Swift

[fictional-twink-bracket]

Propaganda

(PT: Propaganda)

Glen

idk just look at him in that crop top he's rocking it

Faust

hes so sillay

Harley

Ranpo Edogawa

No propaganda submitted

Vanitas

Hes theatrical, hes traumatized, hes prone to anger, hes controlling, hes lonely, hes very pretty, hes doomed by the narrative, an absolute mess

Lilia Vanrouge

700 year old twink who is the father of one human boy and the father that stepped up of one fae boy, he is also a gamer and musician, and used to be a war general in the past. Just don't let him cook in the kitchen, he will create the worst dish imaginable.

Proof that it's possible to be a twink and a DILF

[just-some-sorta-person]

Can I ask, who are your top 7 favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc (can be canon or non-canon) and your top 10 favorite characters ever from any media? Why do you love them all? Thanks if you want to answer....

Sure!

Ships (in rough order)

Nagireo from Blue Lock

my current obsession, going on strong for like more than a year by now. Also the first ship where I actually interacted with fandom meaningfully for a prolonged people of time instead of mostly ghosting. They’re really special to me! I think something I like about them is how core their relationship is to their story, and exploring their characters. It makes fan content and AUs really interesting and fun. In my opinion, a lot of their issues would still exist without blue lock, and they’d have to work them out in any setting, and I think that’s neat.

Satosugu From Jujutsu Kaisen

my past obsession, I spent a great deal of time with them as well before moving on to nagireo. Something I think of when it comes to stsg is the idea of an unfulfilled love that’s not lesser or weaker by virtue of being unfulfilled. I really like the idea that Gojo’s last words to geto were “I love you”, said for the first time at the end for this reason. Well, I am an angst enjoyer. I also enjoy the concept of love not being enough. Gojo and Geto’s individual relationship to power and agency is pretty cool to dive into too, the roles they had to fill in society and such. Their diverging paths. A good ship can’t be made with bad/uninteresting characters after all and I like all the character study fics out there.

those're kinda the two big ones.

Yuudai X Taisei from Sakana

Read sakana here right this moment its very special to me

Ah yes the awkwardness of drunk kissing your coworkers bestie that you're certain is way too good for you. I love love love them so much. They're just very comforting to me. Anxious eel and silly octopus (all of the cast of characters have assigned aquatic organisms). The comic as a whole deals a lot with anxiety, which is really cathartic, but I think in general its really nice seeing Yuudai opening up to people. I also like Yuudai's pessimism and skittery abrasive personality being balanced out by Taisei's optimism and cheerfulness. They also just make for some funny interactions that I've really liked reading heheh

Vanoe from Vanitas no Carte-

It’s the great gatsby vibes, the sunshine character and the deeply traumatized character who doesn’t see themselves as lovable, etc. I really love them and may or may not have made a slide deck presentation on Vanitas no carte for powerpoint night with my friends and 1/3 of it was centered around them.

Ludovica X Luck from Tiger Tiger-

Since this isn't an anime/is probably more obscure, here's the link to Tiger Tiger! Independently published by the artist and free to read, though you can also buy the first book to read in bookstores and such. I genuinely recommend it so much.

Ludovica and Luck are just so funny together, I love them so much. It's an eldritch doomsday god and the hyperfixated-on-sea-sponges mad scientist said being wants to impress. what is there not to like? its chaos x chaos but 2 different flavors. Also the source material is great, and very queer. #stealing your brother's ship to study sea sponges and getting caught up in doomsday. Also him and his 2nd mate are in love but dont realize bc reasons. Its great.

Bachirin from Blue Lock-

grumpy x sunshine always gets me. Plus their parallels and the whole loneliness thing. It’s a great ship- though what really sold me was reading fics like The Sun Will Come up. They really have so much potential.

Kide X Coel from Project Novos

another comic free to read here except this one has.. been on hiatus since 2022.. cries. I think the author has mentioned getting back to it though. Project Novos fulfills my childhood friends to enemies that dont actually hate each other to lovers dreams. The plot follows a government conspiracy and uprising but the story centers around Coel and Kide's relationship, which I do expect to be carried out romantically despite not being explicit so far (in part because it is not a mainstream manga).

This too, also follows the more optimistic character x a more pessimistic traumatized character trope... I have a type ok

... the ship list kinda turned into a bit of a rec list, but with some exceptions, my enjoyment of a relationship tends to do a lot with my enjoyment of the story its in unless I get fixated so...

hmm other ships ive liked... narumi x hirotaka from wotakoi.. hualian from tgcf, bingqui from svsss.... wait actually, there's too many lets move on.

Characters

Let's limit it to one character per show/series/etc to make this easier and avoid me just being like "the whole cast of sakana" or "the whole cast of tiger tiger" or "These characters from Dungeonmeshi..." too many options...

this is in no particular order. Also you might notice a lot of these characters come from the ships above

Yuudai Tanaka from Sakana

I like seeing characters suffer from anxiety, especially in a more ugly way, because I suffer from anxiety, and while I'm a lot nicer than Yuudai, I get frustrated when anxiety is portrayed in a way that may seem "cute" because it really doesn't feel "cute" hahaha. I mean, being anxious can mean being shy sometimes, which I can understand finding cute, but it can also mean being avoidant, skittish, or less friendly.

Ludovica Bonnaire from Tiger Tiger

She's chaotic, she's sweet, she's adorable, she's remarkably intelligent, she's fixated on sea sponges and wants to learn more about them! I really love Ludovica. She feels really refreshing as a character- a woman of science who's bubbly, excitable, and chaotic. She's kind of naive, but not at all dumb or incompetent. She falls into the mad scientist category without it defining her character. She doesn't let anything stop her but isn't somehow perfect, and she's incredibly funny. She's just great!

Nagi Seishiro from Blue Lock

Just.. look at him. he has a cactus, that's like plus 20 points

I have a soft spot for characters that are more subtly lacking in life and struggling, but aren't conscious of it. Also characters that discover that there's more to life than they first thought. Nagi seems fine on the outside, but if you look at some of his habits, they're actually rather concerning - subsisting off jelly packets, thinking life is a pain, getting a cactus to practice talking to people because he hadn't TALKED in so long. One of the nicest/most meaningful things his parents said to him that made him happy being "Don't die".. I also enjoy his disconnect from other people, and how he doesn't really understand the world around him.

I also like the space he occupies within the blue lock canon as a “hidden path”, and the contrast he presents in comparison to the other characters. I think Nagi is made more interesting by being a side character to Blue Lock than if he was the true main character. Idk if that’s a controversial take to have about your fav haha but really I think being the main character of a spinoff is the best place he could be. His situationship with the most important person in his life that he met 6 months ago is great too.

Greed from Fullmetal Alchemist

I LOVE the concept of the friendship is magic character being greed itself. I like the idea of interpersonal love being related to greed. Greed is wanting things, and it is often villainized, but wanting things is the basis of so much more than what we usually associate with greed - and in fact, some of our deepest wants are related to love - in all the forms it takes. Anyways, Greed is very special to me.

Vanitas from Vanitas no Carte

I just love a character who hates themselves so much that they won't let themselves be loved, but they don't have a gloomy exterior to reflect that (making it harder to tell).

Geto Suguru from Jujutsu Kaisen

I think I just love a guy who put so much pressure on himself to torture himself doing the right thing that he crashed out and did all the bad things. I see it as kind of the downfalls of needing everything to be simple and solvable. Geto preserved his sense of control and the livability of his own life, at the expense of becoming a bad person. That's something to explore, to me.

Him being gay (for his bff) is also a plus

Hirotaka Nifuji from Wotakoi

I have a tendency to like characters I find relatable. I haven't watched Wotakoi in awhile but I remember really resonating with Hirotaka. Because I haven't rewatched in awhile it's kinda just a vibe rn tho haha I can't really explain it.. But maybe it has something to do with the muted/quieter way he tends to express himself, despite still having his own inner world.

Anya Forger from Spy Family

I don't really relate to Anya at all, and I don't have any complicated reasons for this. She's just a cutie patootie who deserves the world

Laios Touden from Dungeon meshi

I love Laios and its definitely because I find him relatable. His difficulty connecting with people, his fixation on monsters, his appreciation of food... And I really like how his difficulty connecting with people and him being a weirdo is paired with a genuine desire to connect with them, and do good, as well as leadership skill.

I wanna eat living armor too...

Mafuyu Sato from Given

Given actually got me through a really hard time at one point, so its really special to me. Mafuyu's journey in general is very special to me, especially as someone who has had trouble expressing/processing their feelings before too.

[anarchyduck]

Because I'm Influenced by bad parental Eraqus chatter that's on my dash:

Eraqus really went with the "conceal, don't feel" plan with Ven didn't he.

"I'm worried he's gonna end up being part of my ex's world ending plan but instead of letting this traumatized kid in on this to prepare him, I'm gonna keep him in the dark. But if he starts asking questions and/steps a toe out of line, I will put him down."

Like dude, maybe if you'd let him in on Xehanort being sketchy, Ven might not have been so easily manipulated. MAYBE if you hadn't invited your ex over, this wouldn't have happened at all.

But I think Vanitas and Ven would have found each other eventually anyway. Least Ven could of been better prepared.

Many thoughts to think.

[beanyboobee]

The case study of Vanitas is not a case study that follows just Vanitas. Though Noe says he is recording down the memories he had with Vanitas.

The story itself is about every person's journey. About everyone's joys and how they found their way to the end of the tale, and after googling what the term Vanitas means, I think it just backs to up further

The case study of vanitas is us studying vanitas a person but it's also a case study on humanity.

A study that follows what it means to be happy and what it means to live such a short time.

Vanitas isnt the only person in this story that's focused on. We focus on Noe. Dominique. Jeanne and even louis. A multitude of characters, background characters and side characters. We learn about them, and through Noe a character who knows very little about the world around him. This becomes a story of us learning what it means to be human through Noes eyes.

The Case study of Vanitas

The case study of Vanity

The case study of fleeting happiness

Before tragedy strikes.

The death of Vantias may also represent the death of Noes Happiness. Or the death of his nievitity. His fleeting happiness comes to an end when Vanitas Dies.

We also have yet to learn Noes true name and I would like to take a guess that it's something that eaither is the opposite of the meaning of Vanitas or something that shares the meaning.

Through out the story we have seen Noe make friends, enemies and even seen him marvel at the wonders of life around him. Never choosing vampires over humans and even being oblivious to the discriminations Dhams face in the world and being confused in the face of such a prospect.

Noe as we know is writing this tale, recording it down as is the job of an Archvisitie to not forget. But he records not just the happy times. But the sad. The traumatic. We see Vanitas past. Alfronsos, louis and Jeannes. All with fleeting moments of Ups and Downs, joys and Sorrows.

Noe is recording a lifetime. Not just a moment. Because what is fleeting happiness? And what does it mean to be happy.

And in the end this is a case study of him really trying to decipher not just who vanitas was. But what it means to feel, to live, what is this sense of emptiness he feels.

Noe is a character that no stranger to voicing how he does not understand many emotions. Asking vanitas what is love. Saying he felt a heavy weight in his chest and then ominously saying he wouldn't realise what that meant till much later. He often sleeps for quite along time after a traumatic event insted of talking about and dealing with them.

Noe has an emptiness in himself. An emptiness that's always beenthere though he doesn't quite realise it yet. Is it grief? Is he still mourning? Or is it just he can't find his place in the world just yet.

This may also be a case study on that. A case study on a fleeting life.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

I’ll start with some news.

I am currently locked out of my twitter account. We did everything we could to try to get it back, but no matter what happens, it will most likely take some time.

I don’t like bringing attention to this kind of stuff because we have tons of other things to talk about which are more important than some toddlers trying to obliterate us for 1000th time (frankly I would rather talk about the colour of Leona’s butthole), but this time it’s kind of serious and important. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, but for now I wanted to say that if we won’t get the account back in time or will lose it indefinitely, we will have to ask for your help. I am sorry for that in advance.

Also, if you were discussing/working on commissions with me via DMs there, please email me or contact me via any other platform as soon as possible. Just in case.

Mass-reporting is wild, eh?

I am rambling a bit, and I didn’t really want to complain, because I know for a fact it would give satisfaction to some people, but you know? I am going to complain: it sucks ass. It happened at the worst time possible and it happened over nothing (literally, the art that got it was a Todd/Wallace non-sexual piece that got too many likes for children’s liking). I don’t care if people don’t like us, I don’t care if they gossip with their girlies about us, all I want is for them to leave us the fuck alone and let us do our thing in peace. Imagine being so unbelievably boring and so incredibly unlikeable and unable to make meaningful connections not only with other people but also with any kind of media that you just have to go out of your way to ruin things for others because this is the only thing that makes your immature brain produce something that even remotely resembles joy. Because your own pathetic self is so deeply insecure and constantly frustrated at yourself that you just have to create an illusion of control over someone else to feel important. I can’t even call it a troll behavior – at least trolls are funny sometimes. This is just someone who hit a midlife crisis at the age of 16 and made it my problem for some reason.  

And yet, it’s okay. Even if we end up losing our account, it’ll be a huge disappointment and it will hurt us tremendously, it already did. And it’s scary to think about this scenario, and it’s difficult to talk about how, if it happens, that it’s going to be okay. But eventually we’ll get over it and build ourselves up again, just like we did before several times. And these clowns will still be boring, unlikeable, lonely and very likely shit at drawing.

So yeah. Take care of yourself and block everyone who seems suspicious on sight. It’s not a panacea, but certainly is helpful.

Alright, time to talk about Leona’s butthole (not really, but we will talk about SebeMal, and it’s even better) 💪

Anonymous asked:

Seeing Vanitas made me curious about something: did you ever read Pandora Hearts? I think for a lot of people that series went hand in hand with Black Butler as the main "victorian aesthetic mangas" from the late '00/early '10. Gothic lolitas really had it all back then..

Ohh you’re so right Anon, it was the ultimate late ‘00/early ’10 aesthetic! Boys in vests with bows/ties, crosses and rosaries and traumatic and problematic backstories lol I really miss it sometimes. What an era.

I personally haven’t read/watched Pandora Hearts, but Katsu did! But it was even before we met… So my only association with this title is that Katsu’s old username was “ozbezariusnya” 🥰 Oh, and that Gilbert (?) looks very cute, but let’s be honest, of course I would think he is cute.

nebula-ryuu asked:

Regarding my question, I mean if the Malleus and Sebek ship has a dynamic or a context 😅😅 a background or a story. I have a certain feeling about what it is like but I don't want to affirm anything hehe

I don't know if I made what I said better understood, in any case I can explain it again, no problem 🙏

Oh! Thank you for clarifying!

As for our background for shipping them, we just really really love loyal characters that are a bit unhinged about their loyalty and love/obsession. So we didn’t even have a choice, they stole our hearts… and Malleus is very interesting in his interactions with Sebek too; he is annoyed by him sometimes, but he tolerates a lot and teases him.

As for the ship itself, we tend to think that in addition to Sebek being loyal and obsessive with Malleus, he is also deeply in love with him ever since he was a child. He is conflicted because he really wants to be his lover, but also thinks that he isn’t worthy. Malleus is amused by Sebek and allows him to do much more than he probably should. Actually, I think I talked about their dynamic in this post!

I hope I understood you correctly. Thank you for your question! And if you have any more questions, please let me know.

Anonymous asked:

would Lilia and Azul ever fight over who gets to have Idia?

Replied here! Thank you for your question, Anon.