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hiccanna-tidbits · 4 years ago

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Okay, so I have another ask: What are your other ships? Like, besides moarida, hisccanna and jackunzel (if u have more). It could be crossovers or not! I'm just curious hahah 😊

And maybe NOTP if u have any?

Have a nice day/night! 💕

Hi again! <3 My other CGI crossover ships are Eugelsa, Sweet Tooth (Toothiana x Bunnymund), Vaniro (but ONLY in an AU with an aged-up Vanellope because their canon age difference is pretty awkward and uncomfy), Ramaari, Eep x Guy, Johnny x Mavis, and Agduna!

Some other pairings that I like but don’t hardcore ship or anything are HiJack, Elstrid, Elsamaren, Rydoff, and Pithel (Pitch x Gothel)! I kind of like Cassunzel from TTS as well, but I’m too hardcore Team Jackunzel to really get into it XD I like the idea of Meripunzel as a one-sided crush, because I can defs see Merida being kind of into Punzel and I like the idea that her kinda-rivalry with Jack is partly fueled by jealousy XD I also am fond of Flynnzel and Hiccstrid as well, but I tend to not ship them in a crossover context because I’m just always gonna pick Jackunzel and Hiccanna when given the choice lmao

NoTPs? Oh boy...I have kind of a lot because I’m a judgmental fuck XD But I’ll censor them here so they don’t pop up on the ship tags. I think my top NoTPs at the moment are J/elsa and Hicc/elsa because they both just...make no sense to me??? Like I see Elsa as being mostly into women anyway, but her type of men would just like...NOT be Jack and Hiccup, imo. Especially Jack--like there’s such a huge maturity difference there, and the ship itself is so shallow to me. Like 90% of the time people ship them solely for ice powers and it’s just kinda :/ :/ :/ And with Hiccup I just do not see Elsa being into dorky, awkward guys??? Like it seems like her maternal instinct would kick in, and I honestly can’t see her viewing guys like this as a romantic option. Besides, Elsa is not Hiccup’s type at ALL--he seems to be into exuberant, energetic masculine women, which Elsa is just...not at all??? Tbh I think both Jack and Hiccup would find Elsa to be kind of a wet blanket. ALSO Merida x Any male character tbh because I can’t NOT see her as a lesbian and I just can’t really imagine a world in which she is romantically interested in men at all lol. I think among the mxf Merida pairings Mer/iccup is probably the one I mind the LEAST, since Hiccup seems like he’d be her type if she WAS into men, but even there...I see Merida paired with any boy and I’m like “I just Do Not see it” *shrugs* I also tend to dislike Hicc/unzel because I just find it kinda boring??? Like they’re too similar for me to get into the idea of a romance between them, and they very much have Sibling Energy to me. That, and I feel like Hiccanna kinda has their would-be romantic dynamic but like...better XD

Tbh I also really detest Krist/anna (I had a whole post ranting about it a while back lmao) because imo their development was super rushed and Kristoff kind of went from being a condescending jerk to Anna to liking her out of nowhere??? And in the second movie he like...is obsessed with her and barely has any personality outside of his relationship with her and it’s just kinda Yikes to me. Also I don’t think he really “grounds” Anna in the way she needs like??? He tries to tell her she’s wrong by being rude and talking down to her (like when he shames her for marrying Hans like...10 minutes after they meet??? He’s not WRONG, but it’s not really appropriate to give a near-stranger a hard time about their relationship) and tbh I think Hiccup would just be able to ground Anna in a much more respectful and sensitive way while also not being afraid to call her on her bullshit when she’s being dumb. I also dislike Mo/ariel a lot because lowkey it strikes me as the femslash J/elsa like...people only seem to ship them because “OMG OCEAN!!!” and Ariel doesn’t even really want to be in the ocean anyways like??? Also even though they’re the same age, Ariel is pretty immature compared to Moana, and she claims to love a guy she’s never even spoken to, which Mo would just roll her eyes at. I’ll admit it’s partly personal bias here because I’ve always disliked Ariel and I love Moana with all my soul, but I just cannot get behind Mo/ariel at all.

So there you have it!!! Sorry to rant so much about my NoTPs, I just got mad and couldn’t stop typing XD Please don’t flay me if I don’t like your ship D: I’m tryna be respectful and keep anti-ship posts out of the ship tags because ship wars are dumb and I don’t think it really helps anyone to argue over ships when people already kinda have their minds made up about what they do and don’t ship.

Always taking more ship-related asks on this blog!!!

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starlitskvader · 5 years ago

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Top 5: Your OCs, She-ra PoP characters. and fave media characters

the oc one is unfair but I’m gonna list the ones I’m using/drawing a lot lately (with a limit of one per fandom/original work)

5. Belle

Every year I start thinking about this gal again. She’s cute and fun to both write and draw, and I really owe it to @turbomun for getting me working with her again!

4. Marika

There’s a lot of push and pull between Prim Lady and Rowdy Brawler in Marika that I have a lot of fun with, and working through her self worth issues is certainly a journey to write!

3. Ilya

One part Nerdy Boy Genius Archetype, one part Cat Trying To Intimidate Bears. His ferocious personality combined with being a Grade A Nerd makes me laugh a lot and he’s just fun to bounce off a variety of characters.

2. Dusty

He’s a rabbit, he’s got that Dad Energy I love, and he’s on Vanellope’s level as a go-to doodle character. Gotta love the Bun Dad.

1. Haneko

This is cheating a little as Haneko comes up in a lot of RPs (into the nekoverse…) - because she’s a character I have a lot of fun writing. Her being both a supremely insightful clairvoyant and a total dumbass whose problem solving skills amount to ‘hit it with a sword and if that fails hit it harder’ brings me a lot of joy.

She Ra

5. Sea Hawk

…we love a melodramatic dumbass.

4. Scorpia

She’s just so charming and sweet! A Good Girl.

3. Entrapta

Hilarious and relatable with a GREAT design.

2. Adora

Her earnestness and desire to do right by everyone is really endearing.

1. Glimmer

She’s cute, she’s fun, and I love her determination and her step toward finding her place in the world!

Overall Media

I’m gonna go with media I’m not likely to be asked about here (it’d be easy to go with like… Sonic or MLP characters but because those are Likely Asks, so we’re stepping out a bit!)

5. Jack Skellington

All right, it’s probably partly because I’m thinking about him a lot right now with Halloween approaching and RP going on, sue me :P But I do love Jack - the design, the cheery, friendly personality outside his Scaring Career, and Chris Sarandon’s impeccable voice work all come together more or less perfectly.

4. Mao Mao

Perfect design, powerful dad energy, and just plain fun to watch and listen to. I love you Mao Mao!

3. Chuva

Seriously read The Other Side. Chuva’s a great character who’s easy to like and relate to. And also very, very cool.

2. Cid Highwind

Another one I happen to be thinking about due to circumstances, but honestly? FFVII was one of my first non-Sonic Big Interests, and Cid remains my favorite character in the franchise. He’s funny, he has the best Weapon Of Choice, and for all his bad attitude he has some powerful Dad energy recognized by the whole part. I love Cid.

1. Vanellope von Schweetz

There’s a reason I had her as my avatar for such a long time! Strongly relateable, cute as a button, and one of my go-to doodle characters when I’m anxious or just in a rut. Long live the President!

#long post #ask meme

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coneygoil · 8 years ago

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“Hostile Takeover”, part 5

Fandom: Wreck-It Ralph

Summary: The world is a dangerous place. With his power to control cy-bugs, King Candy reigns supreme, and his biggest target is capturing Vanellope. Her only hope is a small group of rebels hidden in the wastelands of Hero’s Duty that are aiming to take out the tyrant king.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Writer’s note: I did not realized it’s been since February since I updated this fic!! I’d written most of this chapter, but got stuck and wasn’t feeling it. Inspiration finally showed back up and the rest came fairly easy the last few days :D Things are about to get bumpy!

“Hey Felix, I bet I can hit the bullseye 3 out of 3 times.”

“Oh yeah, Dodge? What kind of wager do you have in mind?”

Vanellope grinned at the friendly competition. As dark as their circumstances were, her grown-ups didn’t let it taint the morale of the base. They also never excluded her or sugar-coated their situation just because she was a kid. She knew what was going on and what was at stake, and was secretly grateful for the inclusion.

Yeah, her grown-ups were pretty cool.

“Hey kid, what’s up?” she heard Ralph say from behind her.

Vanellope twisted around, dropping the end of her hoodie lace from her mouth. “Dodge challenged Felix to a bow and arrow competition, and they even made wagers! My bet is on Felix.”

Ralph furrowed his eyebrow, finding no one else in the vicinity. “Who’re you betting with?”

Vanellope grinned. “Doi! You, blockhead!”

“Nu-uh,” Ralph sliced a hand through the air, “I know better than to bet against Mr. Perfectionist.”

“Awww, c’mon, Ralphie. Live a little. Dodge may surprise you.”

“I’m good at being a spectator.”

“Fine.” Vanellope pouted for the better part of a second before craning to look around Ralph at his petite companion. “Hey Pauline!”

Pauline smiled. “How’re you, Vanny?”

A few lines of small talk ensued before the attention was focused on the competition. A question from Ralph floated to Vanellope’s ears, and an answer from Pauline followed. Vanellope glanced out of the corner of her peripheral vision as Ralph told Pauline to hang on. She hugged one of his blocky fingers as he lifted her up then sat her down gently on the metal barrel beside him.

Pauline giggled. “Why, thank you, kind sir.”

Ralph followed with his own soft chuckle. “Your welcome, fair lady.”

That little moment was the perfect example of their relationship. Where Felix and Sarge didn’t hide their affection for one another, Ralph and Pauline were far more subtle about matters. They were never all mushy in front of people or shared a show-stopping kiss. Vanellope couldn’t recall one instant where she caught Ralph and Pauline kissing on the lips; nothing really beyond a quick peck on the cheek.

A triumphant yelp rang out, snapping Vanellope out of her thoughts. Three arrows sat dead center on the target with Felix looking mighty proud of himself. The handyman and the turbo twin made their way over to the spectators.

“Hey Felix, how’s Sarge doing?” Ralph asked as both 8-bit men shouldered their bows. “Kohut’s been leading training ever since she had the incident.”

“She’s better,” Felix answered, planting palms on his hips. There was something in the way his face contorted that Vanellope wondered what he wasn’t sharing. “You know Tammy, she puts too much on her shoulders, and the stress wasn’t good for her or the-“ Felix paused suddenly, gritting his teeth in the obvious way of his when something was wrong, “-platoon.”

The giant muttonhead didn’t seem to notice Felix’s odd pause as he continued the conversation. “I know this isn’t exactly your thing, but some of us are getting together for a poker game tonight. Why don’t you and Sarge join us? It’d be good for her to unwind.”

“We may take you up on that offer. Thanks, brother.”

“Poker night!” Vanellope exclaimed, glitching to Ralph’s shoulder. “Sounds like fun!”

“No can do. You’re not invited this time.”

“Why not?”

“Because last time you kept dropping hints about who had the best hands.”

“But that’s the fun of it!”

“Sorry, kid. Grown-up night needs to stay for grown-ups. Why don’t you and what’s-her-face - Flamehead?”

“Candlehead.”

“Yeah, why don’t you and her have a little card game of your own?”

“You’ve met Candlehead, right? She may have a flame on her head, but she’s not the brightest candle on the birthday cake.”

“You only think that because you’re too smart for your own good.”

Try as she may to convince Ralph to let her join in, the big guy stayed firm. While the grown-ups were having their yippity-doo-dah good time, Vanellope was sitting across from Candlehead on her bed.

Her fellow Sugar Rush racer was brought into hiding several weeks ago after a rather messy ordeal involving the other racers. They’d basically used Candlehead as a punching bag, making it clear that the Sugar Rush kids were everything but sweet. Vanellope wondered how she could be cut from the same cloth as any of them.

“Do you have any 4s?”

Vanellope heaved a dramatic sigh, handing over the 4 of spades. “This blows.”

“I’ll give you back the 4 if it’ll make you feel better.”

Vanellope shook her head, and pushed away Candlehead’s extending hand. “No, I mean, being stuck here!” She tossed her cards in the air, the rectangular papers fluttering down around them. “It’s driving me crazy that I can’t be behind the wheel.”

She threw herself back on the bed. The last several months of hiding were like a whirlwind and a stagnant pool all in one; danger and bored mixed together to create a strange sense of existence. “My hands itch to hold the steering wheel again.”

Candlehead’s face popped into view over her. “You can,” she said excitedly.

“How?” Vanellope pushed up on her elbows. “We can’t go traipsing into Sugar Rush.”

“Before I came here, I found a secret porthole in Sugar Rush! I’d use it to get away from the other racers when they, y’know-“ Candlehead looked off to the side, rubbing her forearm.

Vanellope knew the feeling all too well, and a royal indignation burned inside toward those sour patch kids. “Are you sure no one else knows about it?”

Candlehead nodded. “We can sneak in, find some karts, and race on the outskirts where no one else will be.”

Vanellope pushed her better judgement aside as sitting behind the wheel of a kart played in her mind. She’d have to sneak into Ralph’s quarters to borrow his cloaking device. With a devilish grin, she decided, “Let’s go.”

“So, this big whoop-de-doo you want to show me is in the junkyard?”

“Trust me!” Candlehead pulled Vanellope along by the hand. “You’re gonna love it!”

As they approached the peak of the hill that led to the junkyard, Candlehead threw her arms out as if presenting a prize on a gameshow. “Ta-da!”

Vanellope couldn’t believe her eyes, and her mouth opened in a silent gasp. Parked in the middle of the junkyard was her kart; the very same kart her and Ralph made together. She glitched down the bank of the junkyard then jogged to her kart.

The biggest smile split her face as Vanellope gazed in awe at her most prized possession that she thought was gone forever. “I can’t believe it,” she murmured as Candlehead joined her. “King Candy didn’t destroy it.” She giggled in excitement, kissing the tire. “How I’ve missed you!”

“Reunited,” said a voice that sent chills like fingernails crawling up Vanellope’s back, “How sweet.”

Panic flooded her as she spun around to find King Candy at the lip of the other hill, the donut cops standing on either side of him and several cy-bugs surrounding them. He sneered at her in delight, his eyes flashing an eerie tint of yellow. “Welcome back, glitch.”

“Candlehead, come on!” Vanellope grabbed her friend’s hand and tried pulling her into the kart, but Candlehead stayed put.

King Candy giggled, traipsing down the slope. “You did well, my dear girl. You brought the glitch right to me.”

Vanellope turned wide-eyes on her friend, hurt thickening her words. “You sold me out?”

Tears were welling up in Candlehead’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Vanellope. I didn’t want to hurt you, but-“ she gestured toward the tyrant who was now far too close for Vanellope’s comfort, “it’s King Candy! I can’t disobey him!”

Vanellope felt the ground drop from under her. The Sugar Rush racers were under King Candy’s reign for so long their allegiance to him was rooted in their code no matter how reformed they may have seemed after his fall from power.

She backed away slowly, darting her eyes about desperate to spot any kind of escape. She could glitch away, but she was sure King Candy already suspected she would and covered every possible move she’d make.

King Candy lifted arms over his head, the surrounding cy-bugs rising at his silent command. “There’s no use in trying to escape,” he taunted, the creepy image of Turbo flickering over his face, “Your mine, glitch.”

#wir fanfiction #vanellope von schweetz #wreck-it ralph #candlehead #sugar rush #king candy #hostile takeover

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anachef · 6 years ago

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Disney Food News This Week: What’s NEW in the Disney Parks and More!

Happy weekend! Here’s all the Disney food news this week!

It’s time for another festival to start! Check out all the details on the 2019 Epcot Festival of the Arts, which started January 18 and runs through February 25, including FULL menus and lots of food photos! Be sure to check out our Best of the Fest!

Disneyland’s Lunar New Year is in full swing! Check out ALL the food photos from every booth here!

And we’re starting to see those Disney World Skyliner cables being tested with REAL gondolas! You can also see a video of these in progress here on our instagram channel!

Plus…where to find THESE pineapple upside-down pancakes!

Pineapple Upside Down Pancakes

We have a lot to share with you this week, so let’s jump right in…

Disney Food News

Menu updates at several locations in Disney Springs.

We shared details on when World of Color might return to Disney California Adventure.

We have updates on the construction at the NBA Experience and Jaleo’s Pepe.

We spotted more vintage attraction shirts in Disney Springs.

Check out the treats we spotted at Goofy’s Candy Company in Disney Springs.

We checked out what’s NEW in Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

There’s a new sandwich at House of Blues just in time for Mardi Gras.

Disney World reusable shopping bags have arrived in Disney Springs.

Check out everything that’s NEW in Epcot this week.

See where you’ll find scented pillows at Disney World.

The Magical Birthday Sundae has returned to Ghirardelli in Disney Springs.

REAL Disney Skyliner gondolas are being tested at Disney World.

Rose Cake Pops have returned to Disneyland for Valentine’s Day.

We checked out the latest menu updates at Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

Disney has partnered with Mondo to create new merchandise lines.

Two new princess-themed cupcakes have arrived at Disney World.

We checked out the new menu at B.B. Wolf’s Sausage Company in Disney Springs.

Check out all of the new ‘it’s a small world’ merchandise at Disney World.

The Art Corner has opened in Disney Springs.

Dates and menus have been announced for the 2019 Swan and Dolphin Food and Wine Classic.

Check out the new Minnie Balloon Popcorn Bucket in Disneyland.

New mini donuts debuted in Disney Springs and they’re adorable.

We shared the possible closing date for Beaches and Cream at Disney’s Beach Club Resort.

More dates were added for the Early Morning Magic event at the Magic Kingdom.

We shared our five favorite snacks at Disney California Adventure.

Booking for Disney World’s Free Dining ends today!

We shared more details on the new lounge coming to the Disney Riviera Resort.

We spotted more Disney food jewelry that you’ll want to check out.

A fan favorite snack has gone missing from Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

We checked out two new cocktails – and souvenir glasses – at Trader Sam’s in Disneyland.

We shared what’s new this week in Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

Check out everything that’s new at the Magic Kingdom.

We reviewed the new breakfast and lunch at the recently reopened Tangaroa Terrace Tropical Bar and Grill. Check out the new menus here!

The full lineup was announced for the 2019 Garden Rocks Concert Series.

Disney California Adventure will be celebrating the 25th anniversary of ‘The Lion King.’

Disney’s Hollywood Studios is getting ready for Lightning McQueen’s Racing Academy.

Check out the newest popcorn bucket at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

Pink Minnie Caramel Apples have popped up at Disneyland.

Check out new Disney World merchandise that asks “what are you going to do next?”.

We spotted the Alex and Ani Passholder Bracelets at Disney World.

Reusable shopping bags have arrived at the Magic Kingdom.

Green Alien Popcorn Buckets are now in the Magic Kingdom.

Check out the new Mickey Bar Krispy Treat at the Magic Kingdom.

We checked out some incredible new pastries at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

New foot-long corn dogs are now at the Magic Kingdom.

Check out the new Star Wars Cookbook that’s available for pre-order.

We reviewed the Chocolate Cinnamon Sugar-Dusted Churro in Disneyland.

The Vanellope Eclair has returned to Gaston’s Tavern in the Magic Kingdom.

We spotted new construction at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

We reviewed the new Buffalo Chicken Hot Diggity Dog of the Month at Casey’s Corner.

We checked out the new Chocolate Covered Strawberry Shake at Disney’s All Star Movies Resort.

We reviewed Mickey’s Magical Sundae at Ghirardelli in Disneyland.

Disney World is testing smart speakers in some rooms at the Yacht and Beach Club Resorts.

We reviewed dinner at Whispering Canyon Cafe at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge.

Disney Springs celebrated Nutella Day on February 5.

‘it’s a small world’ ears have arrived in Disneyland.

We reviewed Lobster Soup and a vegan hot dog at Harbour Galley in Disneyland.

Check out the Valentine’s Day sweets at The Ganachery in Disney Springs.

We shared how you can save big on the latest Danielle-Nicole handbag.

A ‘2319’ cupcake was available for just ONE day at Disney World.

We shared an update on the Shrunken Zombie Head mug at Trader Sam’s.

New DFB YouTube videos: Why You Need to Book a Solo Trip to Disney World ASAP, The 16 Most Expensive Disney World Snacks, Safe Bets for Counter Service Lunch at Disney World, and Disney Restrooms You Can’t Miss.

New DFB Video — The 16 Most Expensive Snacks at Disney World

Have you subscribed to the DFB YouTube Channel? We’ve got FOUR brand new videos EVERY WEEK showcasing our adventures in Disney World and Disneyland! This week, we’re sharing our latest video — check it out — The 16 Most Expensive Disney World Snacks — and don’t forget to subscribe here.

youtube

Deal of the Week: Order the 2019 DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining

It’s time to order the DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining 2019 e-book!

With over 700 pages of full-color photos, tips on the best restaurants, an ENTIRE chapter on snacks — including the best snack credit values throughout the parks and resorts — and a full break-down of whether the Disney Dining Plan is worth it for your family, now’s the time to get started!

What’s in the DFB Guide?

The DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining is full of ALL the information you need to plan the BEST Disney World vacation.

We want your vacation to be stress-free!

The DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining is full to overflowing with tools and features to make your trip go smoothly, including:

A 5-Step Strategy for Disney Dining Planning, covering everything you need to know from budgeting and booking to kids’ meals, dining discounts, and fireworks.

A comprehensive and in-depth look at EVERY Disney World restaurant, kiosk, bar, and lounge, including our personal tips to ensure a positive and stress-free dining experience.

Four free, downloadable worksheets for planning your trip. These worksheets are designed to help you execute all the steps of planning the perfect Disney dining experience. And they’re reusable for all of your future trips!

Seven sample one-day dining itineraries for a head-start on planning.

A comprehensive index of bars and lounges WITH reviews. An often under-appreciated option for both dining and entertainment, the e-Book devotes a whole index to the topic.

The ability to be read on your mobile device or computer! It’s fully portable right in your pocket!

Here’s Just Some Of What We Updated In Our 2019 DFB Guide to Walt Disney World Dining e-Book:

Fully updated menus, prices, and restaurant info for 2019 visitors

Updated details about available discounts and deals at Disney World restaurants

DFB’s own 2019 recommendations for everything from table service to counter service to snacks and more

Over 700 pages of updated Disney Dining advice, details, and information

Disney Dining Plan Analysis — Is it right for your family? Can you really save money?

NEW Disney food and restaurant photos

Updated reviews of all Disney World restaurants, kiosks, bars, and lounges including all new eateries

An updated chapter focused on one of the most popular Disney dining topics: Snacks in the theme parks and resorts

A comprehensive section of What’s NEW in Disney Food, including new restaurants, new menus, restaurant closures, and more

You can order your copy today for 25% off the cover price! Just use code WDW2019!

DFB Reader Finds

If you find a fun new food — or other edible awesomeness — in or around Disney, share a photo with us on instagram, facebook, or twitter so we can add it to our DFB Reader Finds each Sunday.

We recently shared a review of the new menu items at Kona Cafe at Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort – and we asked our Twitter followers if they’d had a chance to check out any items! My good pal Eric Chu said he ordered the Pork Wings, Pork Belly Dashi Bowl, and Tuna Poke Bowl.

Kona Cafe items

We LOVE Mickey Beignets! DFB reader Katie says that upon her arrival at WDW, “Mickey Beignets were my first stop! Thanks Disney Food Blog for the suggestion!”

So good!

Do you have a favorite Disney Food find? Share a photo with us on instagram, facebook, or twitter so we can add it to our DFB Reader Finds.

On to the Round-Up!

Mickey Fix shared this super fun Trader Sam’s Shrunken Zombie Head Bag!

WDW for Grownups shared how to order coffee with character in Disney Springs.

Disney Parks Blog shared a recipe for Cookies ‘n Cream Bread Pudding from Disneyland’s Get Your Ears On Celebration.

Disney Family shared a recipe for Mickey & Minnie Cookie Dough Crispy Pops for Valentine’s Day.

Don’t Miss ANY Disney Food News! Join the DFB Newsletter to get all the breaking news right in your inbox! Click here to Subscribe!

Disney Food News This Week: August 12, 2018

DFB Video: Ultimate Guide to Disney World’s Biggest Upcoming Changes!

Disney News This Week: EVERYTHING New At The Disney Parks!

from the disney food blog http://bit.ly/2I2fW44 via http://bit.ly/LNvO3e

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omniversalobservations · 6 years ago

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“The Rise of Mash-Up Cinema”

In the opening minutes of Ralph Breaks the Internet, John C. Reilly’s Ralph and Sarah Silverman’s Vanellope Von Schweetz — stars of the film’s 2012 predecessor, Wreck-It Ralph — sit in a sort of Grand Central Terminal for video-game characters and play a round of “I Spy.” “I spy with my little eye, something that is round, yellow, and eats dots,” one of them says to the other. That something is, of course, Pac-Man. There’s a bit of banter about that fact, all of it only funny if you know who Pac-Man is. The bit is predicated on you being at least a little excited by the existence of Pac-Man in this movie, which is not a movie about Pac-Man. He’s making a special guest appearance, one brand hopping into another. That intended frisson of recognition, of wonder that a thing could cross over with another thing, is the foundation upon which the Wreck-It Ralph franchise is built.

As of 2012, such crossovers were a rarity. When critics praised the first film, they took note of how potent the idea was. “It’s impossible not to feel a strong sense of nostalgic amusement, if not sheer delight, at the comings and goings of all these characters,” said The Globe and Mail’s Dave McGinn in a characteristic write-up. “I don’t own an MRI machine, but I guarantee that just seeing Sonic the Hedgehog lights up the Gen X amygdala like a house on fire.” Not just Gen X, either: those younger could marvel at the presence of the host of Dance Dance Revolution, those older could giggle when the paddles and ball from Pong popped up. Street Fighter’s Zangief and Chun-Li waved hello, Q*Bert played a memorable role, and so on. It was a shock-and-awe tactic: viewers were supposed to sit back and wonder, How is any of this legal?

The answer is: it’s legal because, really, what corporation wouldn’t want to have its intellectual property appear in a cheery Disney cartoon that’ll be in front of the eyeballs of millions of consumers? All the House of Mouse had to do was ask, pay the licensing fees, and put the characters into situations deemed appropriate by the copyright holders. Everybody wins. The idea makes so much sense that it’s becoming increasingly commonplace. Indeed, it’s not unreasonable to expect that branded mash-ups are on their way to becoming a staple aspect of blockbuster cinema. It’s not necessarily a cheery thought.

The past 17 months will have seen the release of no fewer than four movies that fall into this basket. First came The Emoji Movie, a saga in which anthropomorphized pictograms ventured through an array of popular apps inside a teen’s phone. Then there was Ready Player One, the most infamous of these offenders, derided for relying on the weaponized nostalgia of an array of cultural artifacts from the 1980s and beyond. Disney’s Avengers: Infinity War brought together virtually every strand of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, including Spider-Man, a character Disney doesn’t own the film rights to but borrows from Sony. These were all hits of one size or another. The market is speaking.

It’s hard to imagine Ralph Breaks the Internet breaking that streak. It’s a decently written kids’ movie with a constant stream of amusing gags and comforting character beats. It offers up the kind of clean whiz-bang CGI visuals that we’ve come to expect in a post-Pixar animation environment. The voice acting is often delightful. But these factors, on their own, can only take the flick so far. What its creators clearly believe is that viewers will be over the moon at the melange of familiar brands that agreed to throw their lot in with Ralph and Vanellope.

There are appearances from game characters, but the real action this time around is in the tech sector. Thanks to a newly installed modem at the arcade in which they dwell, Ralph and Vanellope leave their respective games and embark on a quest inside the internet. The film’s visualization of the world wide web is a gleaming hyper-metropolis of flying vehicles and impossible skyscrapers, something between Tokyo and Coruscant. As our protagonists venture through it, they find all the behemoth brands made manifest: here’s the endless warehouse of Amazon, there’s a tower that Pinterest calls home, watch out that you don’t crash into the Fandango building — and why not make a little pit stop at Snapchat HQ?

“This is the most beautiful miracle I’ve ever seen,” Vanellope declares upon entering the internet, and we are given no reason to disagree. This is the digital utopia that tech CEOs verbally conjure when they attempt to sell us on their agendas, a marketplace of dollars and ideas where everyone’s free to satisfy their desires and escape the disappointments and inefficiencies of fleshy existence. Sure, there’s a brief excursion to the darknet, where viruses and scams lurk, but no brands appear there, and it’s presented as a marginal portion of the landscape. This is not the Internet as it truly is — Ralph encounters no racist Facebook memes, Vanellope never accidentally wanders into Pornhub — but rather as it is sold to us.

The brands are not strictly bits of set-dressing, either. The instigating conceit of the plot is that Vanellope’s arcade game breaks and, in order to save it from being decommissioned, she and Ralph attempt to purchase a replacement part via eBay. The filmmakers could have chosen a generic stand-in auction site, but going with eBay is a win-win for creators and licensors, alike. In this vision of the company’s service, fast-talking, old-timey auctioneers bark at the avatars of potential buyers in a bustling, capacious work space. Ralph and Vanellope don’t have sufficient funds to pay for the part and have to find the cash within a set time period, during which they’re periodically hit with automated reminders that take the anthropomorphized form of a plucky little bellboy (Ralph calls him eBoy). The soullessness of an online transaction is thus replaced by charmingly anachronistic human faces seeking to engage you as a human being. One can imagine an eBay boardroom erupting in delight at an early screening. There would be nothing for them to complain about.

The same goes for all of these excursions into cinematic corporate symbiosis. The Emoji Movie is a curdled yogurt of perfunctory storytelling and Bible-page-thin characterization, but it sure is nice to its beloved mobile apps. The heroic emojis ride a boat through the “music streams” of Spotify, dance their little yellow butts off in Just Dance, and satisfy their sweet teeth over at Candy Crush — and I’ll be forever haunted by my colleague Emily Yoshida’s description of hearing a child at a screening delightedly bellow, “It’s Instagram!” upon the appearance of the beloved photo app. Ready Player One was a binder stuffed near to bursting with pop-culture love letters: the leads hung out in the world of The Shining, drove around in a Back to the Future DeLorean, and fought a grand video game battle royale alongside the Iron Giant, Voltron, and Spawn, all of which accounts for maybe 1/1000th of all the references in the film. Infinity War was easiest to pull off from a licensing perspective, given that Disney owns the film rights to all the non-Spidey Marvel characters therein, and it is what all of these movies aspire to be: a billion-dollar picture that milks every bit of excitement that can come from having its various pieces of IP hang out together.

It’s long been obvious that studios are trying to ape the Marvel model by building their own cinematic universes in which various characters are established in their own movies and then thrown together for crossover appearances. But crucially, no one has succeeded in their imitation attempts. The DC Extended Universe is moving away from interlinked stories, the Valiant universe is years behind schedule, and only the maddest of scientists would say Universal’s monster-filled Dark Universe has a promising future. All of that leaves the higher-ups with a conundrum: how can you synthesize Marvel’s crossover thrills without going through the trouble of building a shared universe that people give a rat’s ass about?

Brand-synergy movies offer an alternative that’s expensive in dollars but cheap in creative effort. If you can’t build out a pantheon of characters that you convince an audience to become familiar with, why not just rent a bunch of properties they’re already familiar with, duct-tape them together, hoist them aloft before the camera, and declare that movie magic has been made? That way, the viewer gets to feel the thrill of seeing people, places, and things that come from different worlds coexist for a moment in time, but you don’t have to put in the work of establishing these properties.

It’s the next level up from mere cinematic adaptation. We no longer feel any particular elation when it’s announced that someone is making a filmed version of our favorite brand — that’s become de rigueur in the nostalgia economy. If you want to feel that old excitement, now you have to see your favorite brand be adapted in conjunction with another one of your favorite brands, and another, and another, until you have a filmic turducken of corporate interests. The ante has been upped, and as long as the big players in Hollywood can play nice with corporate partners, it will only elevate further.

This trend doesn’t have to be a death knell for creativity in blockbuster cinema. A turducken can be baked and seasoned well by the right cooks. The ne plus ultra of this phenomenon actually predates our present trend by 25 years: Robert Zemeckis’s 1988 Disney flick Who Framed Roger Rabbit? In preparation for Ralph Breaks the Internet, I rewatched Roger Rabbit for the first time since childhood and was amazed by how well it holds up. Sure, it gets its fair share of kicks out of constructing a world inhabited by classic Disney animated characters, their Looney Tunes competition, and a cavalcade of other cartoon stars. But their appearances in this surprisingly daring neo-noir are sparing and clever: Daffy and Donald Duck in an increasingly violent dueling-pianos competition, a black-and-white Betty Boop struggling to prove she’s still got it it in the world of color cartoons, a headline reading, “GOOFY CLEARED OF SPY CHARGES,” and the like.

Roger Rabbit uses these cameos as building blocks for story and world-building, not mere showing-off. Okay, there’s a little bit of showing-off — I mean, how cool is it that Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse signed a truce long enough to appear together for a gag in the third act? — but for the most part, these characters are present to help critique show business. The toons, disrespected by humans and isolated in Toontown, are stand-ins for marginalized groups (particularly black people) whose labor has fueled the entertainment economy while being exploited by greedy white people who exclude them from the highest echelons of the industry. When we see Dumbo literally working for peanuts, it’s not just a joke about elephants’ preferred diet, but also a way to make our hearts break at the injustice of one of our most beloved figures being nickel-and-dimed by a crass studio chief. There’s just so much good storytelling and acting — not to mention still-impressive integration of 2-D animation and live action — that you can’t help but get caught up in the ride. These things can be done well.

But it seems all too likely that they will be done poorly. One struggles to imagine brands being okay with Roger Rabbit–level subversion these days. It’ll all be focus-group-approved portrayals that advance the joint agendas of the creators and the companies, alike. The temptation to take a dull plot and spice it up with branded guest appearances is simply too strong. Such a process can create an illusion of familiarity and comfort that masks mediocre workmanship, and lord knows Hollywood will take any chance to spray a new perfume on a turd. To paraphrase Orwell: If you want a vision of the future, imagine Luke Skywalker and Jean-Luc Picard fighting Voldemort — forever.

Source: Vulture

(images via YouTube)

#movies #Wreck It Ralph #Sonic #Mortal Kombat #Alien #Thanos #Iron Man #Spider-Man

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