#vampire knight incorrect quotes

[kanazero-vampireknight2]

Kaname:You know what, Kiryuu?

Zero: What?? *doesn’t look at him*

Kaname: Let’s see… *lays his chin on his knuckles* Yuuki bit you. You bit Yuuki…

Zero: Get to the point, Kuran.

Kaname: *smirking* She bit me and I bit her as well… You bit me, but…

Zero: *wide-eyed* What kind of fucked up logic is that?!

Kaname: Be careful, or I’m gonna fuck you up.

[maidenofthecloud]

Yagari when he meets the Kiryu twins for the first time.

Yagari: So who’s the older twin?

Zero: We’re twins, it doesn’t matter.

Ichiru: Me.

[karmaspidr]

Blade: I brought you all here because Dracula is preparing for war against the human race and you are the best when it comes to hunting mystic monsters, especially vampires. Are there any questions?

Moon Knight: Yeah, what's the preteen doing here?

Spider-Man: Moony, I'm hurt. I'll let you know that I graduated high school last week.

Blade, grabs Moon Knight: I watched a vampire rech in disgust before crumbling to dust after biting Spider-Man and tasting his blood for a moment. If it comes down to it, we feed him to Dracula.

[incorrectguardiantalesquotes]

[daddopenguin]

Zero: Toss me my keys.

Yuki: *tosses a whole printer breaking it*

Zero: I said my keys...

Yuki: I thought you said printer.

Zero: Why the fuck would I say printer?

[eternalpassions]

Kaname: Hey did you know your name kinda sounds like A.I? 🤣

Ai: 😔

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Steven, about Marc: he’s solitary, mysterious… he can brood for forty minutes straight! i’ve timed him

[jaladwolf]

AGATD Fear Diner!AU Incorrect quotes

TW: Swearing/cussing, ships, the bunnyb*tch, weird crap

FD!Bonnie: That’s a child!

FD!Toy Bonnie: And that’s an ugly pickley b*tch!

FD!Bonnie: …

FD!Toy Bonnie: Yep I’m 15 but thank you!

FD!Pete: Cover your little ears, okay?

FD!BB: Okay.. I’m doing it!

FD!Pete: You’re doing it? You’re doing it?

FD!BB: *nods cheerfully*

FD!Pete: *turns to FD!Foxy* K*ll yourself, die in a fire, I hope you get run over in a f*cking car crash-

Pyro(FD exclusive character): *carrying Jester bridal style* This is mine, I’m taking this with me.

FD!Finn: Can I have it-

Pyro: NO F*CK OFF IT’S MINE!

Jester: What are you doing you oaf?

FD!Plushtrap: He’s pretty…

*FD!Toy Freddy just minding his own business*

Jester: And you’re ugly. Now let’s get to work!

FD!Bonnie: I can deal with vampires, I can deal with werewolves and… all sorts of other things but clowns? Why’s it gotta be clowns..?

FD!Foxy: Are clowns anyone’s thing? Like no one likes clowns..

Pyro: I find clowns delightful.

Jester: Excuse me? Is anybody-

FD!Pete + FD!Shadow Freddy: *they were cuddling btw* …

Jester: … *slowly closes the door*

*Minutes later..*

FD!Pete: *chasing her* Don’t just pretend like you didn’t see me!

*FD!Pete and Jester currently being pursued by knight walkers*

Jester: Here they come- we gotta go!

FD!Pete: *was previously shot in the leg* I can’t outrun those things!

*Both narrowly dodged a flying axe*

Jester: We gotta go now! Get on my back!

FD!Pete: What-I would rather die-

Jester: Jump on my back!

FD!Pete: Nope nope, I’m gonna die.

*Not even a minute later..*

FD!Pete: *on Jester’s back* I hate this.

The Dreamer belongs to @drechastory

[diamondzoey]

Incorrect quotes with the knight squad

Percival: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?

Eris : Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!

Percival: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!

Eris : You take that back!!!

Percival: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Tajdar: Mathew, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!

Mathew: Rebuke? Is that a word?

Tajdar: You have all invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!

Mathew: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?

Aster: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.

Eris : Weight loss? Drink water.

Tajdar: Clear skin? Drink water.

Galen : Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

Tajdar: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?

Aster: Well, it’s frowned upon.

Tajdar: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier?

Tajdar: That’s okay, right?

Lux: Do you cook?

Percival: I made a cake once.

Eris : Yeah, it was good.

Percival: Really?

Eris : Don’t make me lie twice, Percival.

Galen : Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is—

Evren : Cenotaph.

Galen : What?

Galen : It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph.

Galen : I'm... not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own.

Evren : There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing.

Galen : Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish.

Evren : So it's a temporary cenotaph.

Galen : And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity.

Evren : Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.

Eris : Are you busy?

Evren : Yes.

Eris : Cool, listen to this.

Percival: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours.

Tajdar: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia.

Aster: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred.

Mathew: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Eris : God, I love Percival. (Platonic)

Mathew: Yeah, you fucking better.

Eris : Comparing Galen and Lux is like comparing apples and oranges.

Galen : We’re both unique in our own ways?

Eris : Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

Lux: Which one of us is the orange?

Knights in this

Sir Percival- @tiefling-chaos

Eris - @piffany666

Tajdar- @rozeliyawashereyall

Mathew- @lightdragon789

Aster- @stxph-artist

Galen- @astralbulldragon13

Lux - @aspenm00n

Evren- @not-5-rats

A/n: I hope you like it and which listener army should I do next?

[coleblackblood]

Incorrect Quotes - Glenwood Edition

Celine: What is with this “I have no money”? Are you okay, darling?

Newbie Vampire: I’m doing okay-

Celine: Someone hand me my bag! Darling, do you need some money? Do you need some cash, sweetheart? What are you eating today? We’re going to lunch. I’ll pay for you.

Newbie Vampire: I-Thank you?

Celine: Poor thing.

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Beth: Can I ask a dumb question?

Claire: Better than anyone I know.

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Dear: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Rose: The dishes. Dear: Wh- Rose: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

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Knight, admiring a sleeping Evie: You’re so cute. Evie, sleepily: I could beat your ass. Knight, lovingly: I know.

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Claire: When I first met you, I did not like you. Ranger: I'm aware of that. Claire: But then you and I had some time together. Ranger: Uh-huh? Claire: It did not get better.

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Beth, teaching Seer to cook: Seer! This soup is flaccid! Seer: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!

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Knight: Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat. Claire: I don’t usually eat with losers. Knight: Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?

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Celine: You're smiling. What happened? Claire: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Knight: Ranger tripped and fell down the stairs today.

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Dear: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Abby: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Dear: Not when you’re playing with Rose, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

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Ranger: I think I'm falling for you. Claire: Then get up.

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Seer: Guys, Ranger is missing. Claire: Good. 

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Celine: The floor is lava! Knight: *helps Evie onto the counter* Claire: *kicks Ranger off the sofa* Seer: *lays on the floor* Celine: ...Are you okay? Seer: No.

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Evie, writing in her diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

[trickarrows-bishop]

ALL INCORRECT QUOTES🗣️

ALL THE QUOTES - all incorrect quotes on this account

ALL TWITTER QUOTES - all incorrect twitter quotes on this account

QUOTES: (sorted alphabetically)

ACROSS THE SPIDER VERSE QUOTES - all incorrect quotes i have about those silly little spider people

ARCANE QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have on those gay people (they're gay, ur honour)

ATYPICAL QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have on like. the best show known to man kind

DO REVENGE QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have on the film with the greatest plot twist known to hollywood

FIRST KILL QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the lesbian vampire show

HSMTMTS QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the gay musical disney+ series

HOUSE MD QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the gay medical series (not grey's anatomy)

KILLING EVE QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the lesbian murder show

THE LAST OF US QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the mushroom show

MARVEL QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the chaotic mcu

PAPER GIRLS QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the lil paper girls show im obssessed with (they're my chidlren, actually).

SIX THE MUSICAL QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the six wives of henry viii (specifically from the musical six)

STRANGER THINGS QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the lil gay people in hawkins

TED LASSO QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the best football show ever made

WARRIOR NUN QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the gay nun show

WEDNESDAY QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have from the gay show about a girl who likes murder and a hand

WILLOW (2022) QUOTES - all the incorrect quotes i have for the lesbian knight show

[xxxoxxxghoztxx]

Vampire Knight Incorrect Quotes because yes

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Reader: Kaien and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Kaien: Sentences.

Reader: Don't interrupt me

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Yuki: HELP! I TOLD KANAME I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Reader, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

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Kaien, driving Yuki and Zero: So how was your day?

Yuki: We almost got surprise adopted!

Kaien: What?

Zero: We almost got kidnapped.

Kaien: Oh, okay.

Kaien: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

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Yuki: What time is it?

Reader: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Reader: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Zero: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Reader: It’s 2 am

[maidenofthecloud]

Kaito: The next person who says ‘owo’ or ‘uwu’ is under arrest for crimes against humanity.

Aidou: Cwimes against huwumanity.

Kaito: I am going to break your fingers.

[hanyoufanny17]

Zero the teenager and the sarcasm :U

Quotes by: @incorrect-vk-quotes

[incorrectguardiantalesquotes]

[daddopenguin]

Aido: Can I talk to you about something? Zero: *pulls out hot nachos from the oven, places it on the table and slams the oven mitt on the floor* I just had sex and I'm about to eat NACHOS!!! It's the greatest moment of my life! .....Unless you screw it up with what you're about to say.