#validation? affirmation?? my ego!!!??? idk but yeah i wish someone wanted me
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#delete later#sometimes… reading romance is soul crushing fr#like wow#will anyone ever love me#i felt so pretty yesterday and it felt like a huge waste which is dumb i should have not introspected on why i wanted to look pretty etc#whatever anyway i’m not lonely it’s i just ?? im not even unappreciated ?? im unhappy yes because at a default i am unhappy i feel idk#like at best i’m contented ?? romance or romantic love wouldn’t even fix it yada yada#i have vvv fulfilling friendships and my relationship with my family is fine so long as i just bite my lip#which ig i’ve just given in to life that way! but side tracked i love my friends and family whatever i like myself well enough that most of#the time i would resist a even a painful death#i just ? even when i’m content or i reach a goal maybe it’s the adhd but i don’t really get anything out of it other than bone deep#exhaustion and a need to pick myself apart and in the theme of the last#year or so i wish someone wanted me romantically idk why#validation? affirmation?? my ego!!!??? idk but yeah i wish someone wanted me#ugh#whatever
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