#valendfield

[sizzlinbaconpeach]

Take These Broken Wings and Learn to Fly Again

Chris stirred from his sleep as the scent of breakfast and the warm rays of sunshine enticed him to wake from his restful slumber. It was still something he was getting used to; sleeping through the night and waking feeling rested. There had been so many nights where that was not the reality for him. Many nights where he dreaded the darkness of insomnia staring back at him, and even more where he would find himself waking from another racking nightmare... sweating, pleading, and searching for what felt like delusional signs or hints that she was okay.

He closed his eyes again as he let his body sink back into the bed, the softness cradling his muscles, that for so long had never ceased to ache. But those nights were mostly gone now. He wasn't desperately seeking answers anymore, suffering sleepless nights of his mind racing or of the intense ache gripping his heart that burrowed deep inside him. No, those nights were nearly 6 months ago now.

He lifted his head and turned his body to check the bed for his better half, but realized that she must be what is the cause of the intoxicating smell of food from the kitchen. He stretched and yawned, allowing himself to shake the sleep from his mind and body. Then he heard her soft footsteps come up behind him.

 "Chris," her voice barely a whisper, "I made breakfast." He felt her hand gently graze his shoulder as he grabbed at her wrist.

 In one swift motion, he pulled her in close against him, smelling her sweet hair as he buried her into his chest and wrapped his limbs around her. Her gleeful protests would be ignored as he held her firm in his arms under the blankets, planting sweet kisses on her head. He spoke as she continued to resist his embrace with giggles.

 "Good morning, my Jillybean." His groggy deep voice hummed in her ear.

 Her body immediately melted into his as she nuzzled her face against his chest. She could stay in this moment all day, as they had done once or twice before. She reminded herself that they were making up for all the lost time and missed opportunity from the past. Did he crave it as much as her? Did the warmth bring tears to his eyes, too?

How long had it been that she was stuck in agony, praying for any relief to save her from the shredding of her soul? A piece of her being stripped away every day for what felt like unending years. But he was the reason she hadn't shattered into a million pieces, though at the time it felt like her mind and heart would. When she saw him, standing before her, begging her to come back to him, she was going to push through any pain to reach him again. She wanted Jill to be the one to touch him, say his name, gaze into his eyes; not the mind-controlled machine she had become in those dark years. What would have happened if he hadn't come for her? How long had he searched for her? He was a man of few words, but the dedication and care he demonstrated toward her was enough for her to know that he wouldn't have been anywhere else but by her side.

The intense comfort she felt in his arms, the safety, the strength, was everything she needed and more. What happened in those years were paling in comparison to the immense love she felt for this man. The tears came more freely to her eyes and she allowed his shirt to wipe them away. Just as his voice had washed away the emptiness she was trapped in for so long. Just as his touch made her feel a warmth she had long forgotten, a gentleness she hadn't experienced since the fall.

 He was the captain of a ship that had saved her from the frigid raging sea of death and destruction that was pulling her under. A ship she had leapt from in an attempt to divert its course. But how could she ever weather the stormy seas by herself? She was thrashing and gasping for air as he came and saved her from flailing and drowning. He had always done that for her, hadn't he? But what she hadn't realized was that the captain needed her spot light to navigate those seas, they needed each other to keep the ship afloat. The captain would sail aimlessly without her, damaging the ship in storms and unforeseen obstacles. They needed each other, now and forever. That had been a truth since the day they met. It only became more undeniable in the many years that followed. And now they were life partners: husband and wife. Forever entwined with one another. And Jill wouldn't have it any other way.

 He felt her breath hitch in her throat followed by the dampening of his shirt again. He closed his eyes to prevent the prodding emotion from falling out of them. He delicately rubbed her back with his thumbs as he placed more kisses in her hair. He heard her sniffle as she rubbed her face against him. She clasped at him, his shirt, his arms, his waist. And he just held her tighter. What he wouldn't give to ensure she never had to endure any hardship again. To never be plagued by the ramifications and dangers of their work. To never have to feel or fear the flashbacks of despair when they were separated. When she was tormented and abused. How could he protect her from this suffering?

Just when he thought his own emotion would spill out of him, she lifted her head with a smile, her eyes tinged with red from the tears, but she spoke with so much gratitude and joy.

 "I'm so happy you're my husband." She pressed her lips to his. "Now, come on. Your breakfast is getting cold."

 He stared at her beautiful face for a few moments, in total awe of her strength. He kissed her forehead as he released his grasp on her, "... of course."

[thetentaclecommander]

*Why do you seem to mostly write RE rarepairs?* Is a question I asked myself a lot. At first (and the number one main reason) it was that I like this pair, they speak to me and are interesting/hot to me together. Later it was 'oh, cause I just like monster/human ships'. Which woulda held true if I didn't end up doing other human ships so that punched that sole reason in the face. Many pairs I've ended up writing sure, came from fleshing out the AU and becoming ascended extras that I love writing about, too. I'd figure you kinda have to at least like a pair to write it imo (I don't believe in being miserable while you write). But they all tended to be just as rair as my crackship main. This was so unintended. And it's not like I don't like the more common fandom wide pairs (most RE pairs/polys/ect aren't canon so it's not canon avoidance either!) I literally will read any configuration as long as the story moves me. Heck, I've been asked to write more common ships (usually in this rude offtopic way: No, I probably won't write your Cleons or Chriskers unless you venmo me a 'I might think about it' fee - again, I only write for free what I enjoy writing about). Every time this happens, I search the pair requested in question up. I see the sheer hundreds if not thousands of fics for them and ask WHY? You are so well fed? My writing style might not even fit them >.> (thou, I'd be more flattered if that was the angle requests were coming from). This also made me realize I prefer writing pairs that barely have a page of works to their name.

I also think to me it's the 'difficulty spike' in writing a pair that draws me in. Like for example Valenfield*. It's baby's first gateway ship for a reason - they are always in someway together canonically with a pre build professional relationship, have extensive history together, they are simply comfy to pair. Thing is, they have to me so much canonical history it's like 'what could I personally even add that canon didn't already?' I'd feel boxed in cause as much as I'm team 'write whatever you want forever' I personally try to semi stay/dance around within the canon box before I diverge AU nasty style. And Jill and Chris have so many fics already that'd I'd be adding a drop in the available fic bucket; both in the permutation of character interpretations and odds are my added story wouldn't even bring anything new to the table. They are simply Too Easy for me and just don't bring anything new to mind that I could write about. But that also brings up that I simply like creative freedom. I like the generalized canon but not liking that a pair already has an established dynamic/story in canon. Yes, I know you could just...not consider it but I just don't want to rebuild over a thing that is serviceable, I want to build what wasn't there in the first place. Your Valendfields, your Aeons ect kinda has that set up already and I hate having things 'given' to me. If I wanna do a whatif then I will DO a WHATIF. And the fun in doing a whatif is the difficulty. The lack of setup. Like there is NOTHING supporting Nemmy and Jill together. Fucking nothing. Just big baddie mon and soldier fighting. That absolute nothing would scare people away; I see free real estate to get creative and build housing on. Because there is nothing I am able to go hog wild and *make* something. Something that other people are not likely to also come up with (or not in the same way). I can break with established norm and feel like I'm treading new ground. This extended to humans - why not have Ada interact with Carlos? They both operate 'under the table', with one affable with a bit of a scruffy boy outlook despite his history as a merc and the other being a cool and coy spy and not giving out info unless they have to with both being playfully flirty? Who despite both being in the same city never meet? Why not? The canon certainly didn't think they should meet on screen but I did! And sometimes, I break my own rules and think there *is* so much there in the canon imo and not many take it, like Creva. Like, now I'm just doing it cause they deserve more - I've no idea why they are so rare (and no, I don't buy into racism or anything like that as the why I think it's just lack of interest, sadly...and people mayhaps afraid to multiship for some reason?) cause they both are likeable and interesting together. I don't see them as a rare pair yet they are, hmm. *Not to say I don't have them on the future fic docket, shhh