#val's done talking about fucker

[danveration]

Darling, angel, sweetheart

Parings: Valentino x female!reader

Summary: You’re not in the “mood” but Valentino, being who he is, tries to coax you into having sex. And it’s hard to resist him. !THIS IS SMUT!

Warnings: Nsfw themes, 18+, dub/con, manipulation, k*lling, smoking, being taking advantage of, virginity mention, power imbalance, forced blowjobs, p in v sex, creampie, missionary position, neck biting, kissing/making out/french kissing, slight innocent reader, reader having a stuffed animal, cuddling, sleeping

A/N: UMMMM? FIRST SMUT FIC IVE EVER WRITTEN. KINDA NERVOUS!!! SORRY IF ITS ALL OVER THE PLACE 😭😭😭

You and Valentino had a complicated relationship. You wouldn’t say you’re “together” per-say, but you wouldn’t say that you aren’t. He makes it aware that he sleeps with other people from time to time, and that he actively flirts with people. But he promises that it’s only for business. To get more costumers and porn stars, to up his reputation.

You don’t live with him but you’re over at his place more than you are at your own house. He likes it when you’re always around him. Holding his hand, sitting in his lap, or under his desk while he’s in meetings or doing paper work, etc. You’re drawn to him like a moth is at light, which is ironic. He loves you, so much so that it doesn’t matter what he does in his spare time.. because he does always come back to you in the end. He loves you and you love him back.

You’re more of a shy, innocent, naïve thing. Valentino noticed that right away when meeting you. You were a virgin before he met you, but obviously not anymore. He took that from you the first night be met you. Though you’d never think you’d lose your virginity at such a fast pace.. there is just something about him that made you cave in. May it be his flirty nature, or his gentle touches.. whatever it is, you’re a fool for it.

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You’re currently laying in his bed, yawning and clutching into your stuffie. Today was a long day, all you want to do is cuddle up to Val and go to sleep.

You’re impatiently waiting for him to come in the room. You remember him mentioning how he has to shoot extra long tonight. He sounded frustrated about it, cursing under his breath.

You’re just about to doze off when Valentino bursts into the room loudly, the door hitting the back of the wall when he comes in, making you jump in fear.

“Fucking BITCHES!” He yells, his accent coming through. Slamming the door closed, he goes to light his cigarette while mumbling curse words under his breath.

He’s wearing his heart glasses, his red hat with the black and white feather, a black dress shirt that’s mostly un-buttoned with his gold chain, and white pants with a gold heart belt.

You’re looking at him concerned, you’ve never seen him lash out like this before. He’s always been kind and sweet. Little do you know he only wanted you to see that part of him, not wanting to scare you away too quickly. He’s done things you’ve not noticed, like that one time where a man was hitting on you in front of him. He said you were taken and then proceeded to bring you to the other room, telling you to wait there while he makes a phone call. Which in reality, he went back to that man and shot him in the head. Coming back to tell you it went well and that he loves you.

“Val?” You speak out, looking up at him.

He whips his head over to you and breathes out.

“Sorry you had to see that, sweetface. Just some fuckers who think they can talk back to me. Me! Can you believe that?” He says, shaking his head.

He looks away from you and sighs.

“It doesn’t matter though, does it? They’re dead now so there’s no need to stress.” He laughs.

You know he does bad things, even though he tries to hide it. You’re not blind. But you still like him nonetheless.

He stretches and moans, bending his head back and shifting his arms. He looks back at you and smiles.

“Hi, sweetface. How’re you feeling, hm? All tired and ready for bed?” He asks.

“Mhm, I’m feeling good, just sleepy.” You answer.

“Ah good, good. Let me join you.” He walks over to you, with a glint in his eye.

He looks at you seductively, eyeing you up and down. While you on the other hand, are looking at your stuffie with tired eyes.

“Baby.” He says to you.

You perk up and look at him.

“Hm?” You say.

He feels himself get hard. It was a long day today and he needs some relief. Who better to give him that than his best girl? He closes his eyes and breathes in, then opening his eyes and looking down at you.

“I need your help with something. You think you can help me, baby?” He says in a mischievous tone.

You’re just so sleepy that you mumble, “What is it?”

“Well, my love. I’m feeling a bit pent up.” He answers you with a smile, his red eyes glowing through his glasses.

You look up at him with a frown.

“Val, I’m just tired. Can’t this wait till tomorrow?” You ask him.

Valentino’s brows go down and he answers you in an angry tone.

“Darling, angel, sweetheart. Out of alll these other bitches, I choose you to fuck. And you refuse me? Do you know how fast I can get a replacement of you? I can go down the hall and fuck the first person I see and they’d be thankful!” He yells at you.

You didn’t expect him to react this way. Maybe it’s just the long day getting to him. You shrink under his words, looking down.

“I’m sorry, Valentino.” You mumble.

He squints his eyes at you, crossing his arms over his body.

“Better be. Now, what do you say?” He asks you.

You’re pretty tired but you don’t exactly have a choice.

“I guess I can help..” You answer, still looking down.

“Ah, good! Good girl.” He says, walking over to the side you’re laying on. Standing beside you as you’re laying down, he tells you to look up at him.

Sitting up on the bed, you look up and make eye contact with him.

“See how hard and aching I am for you?” He says, gesturing towards his clothed cock that’s straining his pants.

You look down and see his cock imprint, outlining his white pants. Against your will, you feel yourself throb.

“V-val. I don’t-“ You say.

“Shhh, angel.” He interrupts you.

He puts his cigarette down on the side table and goes take your small hand and press it on his clothed cock.

It’s warm and you can feel it throbbing. You go to pull your hand away, your cheeks reddening.

He holds your hand tighter and forces it there.

“Feel that, baby?” He asks you seductively.

This is usually how sex with Val goes. You aren’t feeling it but he makes you feel it. You never thought it was wrong, it’s just.. you changing your mind with time.

“Mhm.. I feel it.” You answer him, blushing.

“Fuuck.” He moans as he grinds into your hand for a few minutes.

“God damn it.” He bites his lip and removes your hand to unbuckle his belt.

You look down at his big hands as they swiftly take his belt off. His hard cock springs out, as he almost never wears underwear. The only time is does is when he wears revealing outfits.

He takes your chin in one of his hands and makes you look up at him again.

“Suck it.” He whispers.

You whimper and look ahead, his cock facing you.

Giving it a lick on the tip, Valentino grunts.

“I can’t fucking take this.” He says, taking your head with his hands and forcing your mouth to take his whole cock.

Gagging, you try to pull back but Val just keeps your head there and starts thrusting into you.

“F-fucking take it.” He says, slightly smiling.

You’re whimpering and moaning, trying to breathe through your nose.

He lets go of your head, pushing you back. You gasp for air and Val laughs at you.

“We’re gonna have to work on throat training.” He comments.

You whimper.

“Val I-“

“Take off your fucking clothes.” He commands you, as he starts stroking his cock with one hand.

You move to take them off, listening to his command. After you’re fully naked, you look at him for guidance on what to do next.

“Goood girl.” He smiles at you, tilting his head.

He tells you to lay down on your back as he gets on top of you. After doing so, he starts kissing you.

Val was the one who taught you french kissing. You never really knew the whole point of it before him. It just seemed awkward. Swishing your tongue around in someone’s mouth. But after him, you understand how it’s so appealing.

He reaches his hand down to touch you, seeing how wet you are.

“Mmm, there you go.” He says as he feels you dripping on his hand.

He rubs his cock onto your pussy, collecting juices onto his tip.

“My favourite toy.” He mumbles.

You whimper as your tummy starts to hurt from being so turned on. Val laughs at you and whispers into your ear, “I’m going to fucking wreak you.”

He slides his cock into you slowly, hissing at how tight and wet you are.

You moan at how good he makes you feel. He always feels so full inside of you.

He looks at you and starts thrusting harder.

“F-fuck sakes.” He says. “You’re gripping me so tight.”

He holds onto your shoulders as he roughly pounds into you over and over and over again.

Each time, your body shakes and you let out a whimper.

“V-Valentino.” You moan.

“Yes, baby. Say my fucking name.” He growls.

You clench around him and he starts going faster.

After a little while of beating your pussy with his cock, his thrusts start to get sloppier. At that exact time, you feel yourself getting close.

“V-Val, I- I’m-“ You stutter out.

“Y-Yeah I know. I can feel it, fuck. I’m close too, baby. I’m so fucking close.” He says, going in and out of you. “You’re such a good toy for me, you know that? Suuch a good girl. Such a good fucking girl.” He grunts.

“Val.. I- I’m gonna-“

“Me too, god. I’m gonna cum inside this pussy. All inside of you.” He thrusts into you one more time and then he goes as deeply as he can into you, letting out all is cum deep inside you.

You come at that exact same time, immediately as you feel his warm seed inside you. You feel claimed by him, physically and emotionally.

He thrusts once more, letting it all out inside you.

He bites your neck, kissing it after doing so.

You feel the tiredness from before hit you like a wave.

He positions himself to look at you, smirking.

“Tired?” He asks.

“Mm.” You mumble.

He pulls out of you slowly and looks down, his cum dripping out of you. He licks his lips at the sight.

Looking back up, he decides that he is also tired now and says, “I guess we can sleep now, ma chérie.”

You blink slowly at him, your eyelids feeling heavy.

“Sleep time?” You mumble.

“Sleep time, my love.” He lays next to you, putting the covers over him and you.

He sees your stuffie on the other side of the bed and reaches for it, handing it to you.

“I think you forgot someone.” He says with amusement in his voice.

He will admit, he has a soft spot for you. Just don’t tell anyone, especially the other VVV’s, they’ll probably tease him about it.

You smile and grab the stuffie. But right now, all you want to do is cuddle him.

“Val?” You say with a questionable tone.

“Hm?” He says tiredly.

“Can.. Can we cuddle, please?” You ask.

He smiles at that and says, “Such a silly question. Of course, sweetheart. Come here.”

You climb onto him, and nuzzle into his chest. You feel like his. His cum dripping out of your hole still, your mind completely full of him.

He wraps all his arms around you, holding you loosely.

“G’night, Val.” You whisper into his neck.

“Goodnight, my little love.” He responds.



[lurochar]

Relief in Falsehoods

Background Alastor x Reader, One-sided Vox x Reader, One-sided Vox x Alastor

Just wanted to try writing Vox. Hopefully I didn't mess his character too bad

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This was a new low.

Even for him.

But how could he help it? He had no idea that old-timey prick and his companion (his lover? wife? Or in deer talk, mate?) had come back after a seven year absence.

It pissed him off.

Because deep down, he still felt that yearning that never extinguished, even after that oh-so brutal rejection he had gotten from Alastor.

Approaching you hadn't even been an option after that either, as Alastor had ‘kindly’ warned him to never step in your presence again.

And now here he was, standing in his penthouse suite, standing tall with his normal cold expression on his flat-screen face, but internally, he felt like the lowest of the low, a loser who couldn't get over his strange obsession over two people he should have forgotten about years ago.

Val had seen the anger and stress and provided him with a simple solution: he sent Vox two of his porn actors to give him the release he desperately needed.

And not just any regular porn actors, Val had gone out of his way to look for ones of this specific type and so Vox had damn better well be happy with it or–

“You're fucking joking, right?” Vox's eyes twitched. He glanced between the two shivering, scantily-clad whores already on their knees, waiting to take orders. 

Val had really sent him two deer demons, one male and one female, in an attempt to get him out of his pissy mood?

This just pissed him off more.

Had it been Alastor or Y/N, that would be a completely different story, but–

“I guess this is what role-play is for.” Vox muttered to himself before his eyes widened and it swirled with hypnotic waves and the two deer whores immediately stiffened as they fell under his trance.

“You,” Vox pointed towards the nameless doe, “until this is done, your name is now Y/N. Is that understood?” He moved to her, disappointed there wasn't much of a resemblance between her and you other than you both were deer demons.

“Yes, Mr. Vox, Sir! My name is Y/N!” She stated, absolutely beaming up at him and then shuddering when he reached down to stroke one of her ears.

“You always were such a sweet little doll, Y/N. Why you are with that radio fucker is beyond me.” Vox's screen glitched as he recalled the true you and how content you were at Alastor's side.

It could have been him.

It could have been all three of you.

Instead of Valentino and Velvette, it could have – should have – been him, you, and Alastor ruling as Overlords as a trio, owning thousands of souls, drowning in money, and just living a life of perfection.

But Alastor threw that all away.

Vox's screen turned red and he turned to look at the buck still on his knees, still looking blank under his hypnotism. “And you, your name is Alastor until I say.”

The buck quickly responded. “My name is Alastor. I understa–” Vox kicked him in the stomach, causing him to double over, though Vox just lifted his head up by his (not red and black) hair.

“Y/N is the lucky one. I don't have much of a grudge against her. But you, Alastor,” Vox sighed, reaching down with his free hand for his belt and the buck began to tremble despite the trance he was under, “this night isn't going to be very pleasant for you. I can't even guarantee you'll leave here alive.”

Hmm, maybe Val was right.

Maybe he really did need this…

[beef-brisket]

✨️Moth!Adam Headcanons✨️

• Adam loves being taller. He rubs it in all of the Hotel members' faces. Especially Lucifer.

• While he likes having two sets of arms, he finds it annoying to buy shirts.

• He may have gotten some fashion inspiration from Val, but he makes it his own. He adds more leather, more chains and spikes.

• Finds himself wearing Angel's clothes more than his own. Especially his heels.

• when he's lying down on his stomach, he'll puff up the fluff around his neck and squishes his head into it. He falls asleep instantly.

• He knows Lucifer takes photos of him sleeping, he secretly loves it.

• His vision is really bad. He's smacked into so many things around the hotel that Charlie has gone out of her way to make sure the floor is clean at all times.

• Alastor randomly moves furniture so Adam walks into it.

• He split his head open three weeks after arriving at the hotel, he walked into a doorframe. He was running from Nifty.

• He was ranting to Lucifer about Nifty when he squeaked for the first time.

• Everyone tries to get Adam mad to hear him squeak.

• Being on edge around the Hotel members at the start of his stay made Adam depressed and anxious.

• Adam has glasses but refuses to wear them.

• Adam squeaks when he expresses any intense emotion. Whether he's frustrated, angry, happy or sad.

• He hated it at first but starts to tolerate it when Lucifer coos at him.

• Adam is the only one tall enough to get into Val's face. He's also the only one to beat the shit out of him.

• He perfers his moth wings over his angel wings.

• His eyes can get sore if he spends hours in direct light. When this happens, he gets migraines. He doesn't tell anyone.

• At first, his long tongue made him uncomfortable. Now, he really enjoys flustering people with it.

• He has two tongue piercings, one at the base and one closer to the tip.

• He can get so worked up that he can do nothing but squeak.

✨️Adamsapple✨️

• Lucifer loves Adam's fluff and often shoves his hands in it to fluff it up.

• Adam loves to wear tops that show his pecks off. Lucifer loves it too.

• He also wears a chain that connects his nipple piercings.

• He stops wearing them around Lucifer because he pull on it. Hard.

• Charlie has him follow her around so he can reach all the high places. Lucifer loves watching how Adam and Charlie interact with each other. Adam goes into dad mode with her.

• Adam loves to annoy Lucifer. He smacks him with his large wings before drapping them over him.

• Lucifer is now head height to Adam's dick.

• He reaches hi mid-thigh when Adams wearing his heels.

• Adam often carries Lucifer in his lower set of arms.

✨️Adam and Angel Dust✨️

• Adam loves going to clubs with Angel, they get hit on all the time.

• They've done a few terf wars together.

• They steal eachothers clothes.

• Adam's tried some of Angels drugs. He had a great time but when he saw how disappointed Charlie was, he stopped.

• Adam has kicked Val's ass ob more than one occasion.

• Val tried to get him to film a fee videos with Angel. Adam's response was to burn the studio down. He managed to get Angel three weeks off work.

• He met Vox when he went to pick up Angel, once. He's been the only person he could see clearly because of his screen, he found himself unable to look away. Angel had to start dragging him.

✨️Adam and Hell✨️

• Adam doesn't hate Hell as much as he thought he would.

• Because he's a moth demon, no one recognizes him.

• He loves going for night flights. Sometimes Lucifer or Husk joins him.

• Adam often goes to Rosie to help make him clothes. He's still not really cool with her because of the last extermination, but he finds her sweet.

• Adam has gone on a few walks with Alastor. Fuckers still creepy but he doesn't hate talking with him. He especially loves it when people run from them

• He's saved a couple of sinners from random attacks.

• He loves the attention he gets because of his looks.

• He accidentally squeaked when a goat demon slapped his ass.

---

@fanofstuff01 @things-arent-what-they-seem66

[dolcekissy]

chapter 2; summer blues

ׂ╰┈➤ a series | in which, rafe used to be your best friend but everything went south once the pogues began their treasure hunting journey. you try everything in your power to fix him, everything. will he eventually come back down to earth and listen? or will he destroy you, just like he's destroying his life?

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ main masterlist | summer blues masterlist

bunny!reader x bsf!rafe masterlist

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You started hanging out with Sarah a lot, obviously being best friends with Rafe you were prone to being friends with Sarah. You didn’t hang out with her much before Rafe’s dramatic change, but ever since he started treating you like a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe – you decided to hangout with some new friends.

You and Sarah became close friends pretty quickly, her boyfriend Topper was pretty cool towards you. You kind of felt bad for Topper because you could tell he felt peer pressured at times when it came to screwing with the pogues. Obviously there were times Topper treated them like shit but nine times out of ten it was all Rafe’s doing – Topper just followed along.

You were there when Sarah and John B started to have feelings for each other, you were there to tell Sarah to go on her little mission with John B, or should you say Vlad and Val. You were also there when Sarah became friends with Kiara again and you were there to watch Sarah become part of the P4L group.

Sarah would constantly ask you to hang out with all of them and you hesitated but agreed. You didn’t care to be seen with a pogue at all – hell you and your mom were broke and living the same way pogues live before, there was never any embarrassment or any weird feeling being around them.

But unfortunately for you, this is when Rafe started to come around again. The same Rafe you began to avoid because of who he was now, the same Rafe that broke your heart a numerous amount of times. The same Rafe you used to call your best friend, the same Rafe who terrorizes pogues and random people.

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“You really hanging out with those fuckers now?” He asked with a breathy, shocking laugh. He snuck into your window, climbing the tree right next to your window to hop inside after quietly banging on it for a few minutes – he was so used to doing this from sneaking in night after night when you two were younger, it was like second nature to him.

“Rafe, I don’t want to hear it right now. I’m just trying to sleep and I don’t need to hear you talk about how ‘stupid pogues are.’” Running a hand through your soft locks with a fake yawn to show how tired you really, ‘truly are’. If you were being honest with yourself – you weren’t tired the second you heard his soft rhythmic knocks on your window, the same pattern he’s always done. If anything you felt stupid for feeling almost happy to see him in your room for the first time in a while – brought back memories.

He let out a scoff, shaking his head and rubbing his temples with his fingers. “You’re a kook, you’re not a fucking pogue. Be real, you don’t need to be hanging out with them.” You stared at him for a moment, taking in his appearance and studying his face.

“Well I am, okay? Me and Sarah have gotten closer and obviously she’s always with them because of John B. Of course she’s going to ask me to hangout with them.” You retort, slowly growing annoyed with how much he bashes your friends.

“Yeah, okay – you know what else I've noticed, you don't ever hangout or talk to me anymore. Is the pogue life better for you or something? You too good to talk to me now?” He asked, sitting on the edge of your bed while you stood in front of him – realizing you still haven’t moved away from your window.

“I do talk to you, you just blow me off each time.” You fold your arms over your chest, shifting the weight of your body onto one foot as you eye him. He looks around your room with another scoff, folding his arms over his chest as well. “No I don’t. If I blew you off I wouldn’t be sitting in your room right now.”

You roll your eyes, moving to sit on your bed – keeping distance between the two of you as you rest your back against your headboard and pillows. “The only reason you’re here is to scold me for hanging out with Sarah and the rest of them. Don’t act like you’re not too busy snorting lines and hanging out with coke whores –” He slams his fist against your mattress, standing up quickly and pacing your room for a moment before he walks closer to you.

He leans down and points a finger at you, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to think of what to say. His eyes are blown wide and his hair sticks to his face – he looks a mess, like he’s losing it, and of course you know he is. You watch his frantic movements with slightly wide eyes, your eyes filled with anger from how he’s acting right now but also concern for his well being.

“Don’t fucking – don’t say shit like that. I’m not too busy for anything, I just have – I have priorities right now.” You close your eyes, trying to blink away the hurt from the tone of his voice and his words. “Priorities? Snorting coke is a priority for you? What are you talking about?” You stare at him with narrowed eyes as you throw your hands up in the air.

“Rafe, you're just – you’re not you anymore. You’re different, you look different, you act different, everything is just different.” You watch Rafe close his eyes and let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, okay – what the fuck ever.” He walks over to the window, forcefully pushing the window open and starts to climb out.

“Don’t leave, Rafe! Stop – just listen to me okay? I don’t know what happened to you, but you aren’t the same person anymore. I want to help you but you’re constantly pushing me away – why? I’m your best fucking friend, Rafe.” He steps away from your window, leaving it open as he walks back over to you. “I’m the same person I was before – you’re just too fuckin’ needy, okay? I don’t need you to help me.” You let out a shaky sigh, fidgeting with the dainty gold rings on your fingers.

“Needy? I’m your friend, Rafe. I’m your friend that just wants to help you.” Your voice is soft and shaky as you look down at your fingers. “I don’t need any fuckin’ help, okay? Especially if you’re hanging out with those pogues now – you think I’m friends with pogues?” He shook his head and let out a breathy laugh, moving back to your window and climbing out of it.

You watch him leave with wide eyes, taking deep shaky breaths as he slams your window shut. Laying your head against the pillows you go over the conversation and what just happened between the two of you, over and over until you fall asleep.

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Sarah and Kie invited you over to the Chateau just to hangout and have a few drinks with them, you were still shaken up and pretty upset over the whole encounter from last night with Rafe. You didn’t text him, he didn’t text you. You rode your bike over to John B’s and didn’t see Rafe out at all, you were relieved to not run into him – not knowing what hurtful words he was going to say next if you did. Even passing by the Cameron’s residence you still didn’t see him – and you were once again, relieved.

“Hey!” Sarah yelled the moment you hopped off your bike – pushing it up against the side of John B’s house. You tucked your hands into the back pockets of your jean shorts, your hair swaying over your shoulders and down the middle of your back as you walked over to them. “Hey, sare.” You greeted everyone and walked over to the cooler to grab a beer, sitting down next to Kie and JJ. You cracked open the beer and took a sip, cringing slightly at the taste.

JJ took a puff from his joint – offering you the smoking object with a raised brow. You shrugged and took it from him, taking a few puffs and handing it back to JJ. “Since when do you smoke?” Sarah asked, raising her eyebrows with a smirk. “Since today, I guess.” You shrugged and took a sip of your cheap beer, still cringing from the taste.

“Since today? By the looks of it you look like you’ve smoked before, you didn’t even cough.” Kie says with a laugh, surprised by your lack of coughing and your words. “It’s not the first time I’ve smoked ever, I’ve done it occasionally.” You laugh and nudge Kie, she lets out a snort and shakes her head. “So you’re telling me this whole time, you could have been my smoke buddy? I’ve been stuck with Jayj this whole time?” JJ puts a hand over his chest, pretending to be hurt as his mouth drops. “Don’t say it like that, Kie.”

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You spent half the day with them, drinking beer and hitting joints with JJ and Kie. Sarah noticed your red eyes and slight stumbling and told you to crash at John B’s place with them. You shook your head with a laugh and said your goodbyes to everyone – picking up your bike with wobbly arms and legs and began your journey back home.

If you were being honest, this was the most calming and fun bike ride you’ve ever been on. Everything was brighter, everything was spinning a bit but it was fun. You peddled back home, staring up at the sky momentarily and smiling at how different everything looked and how good you felt.

You rode past the Cameron’s residence without even noticing – too happy and in your own little world to notice Rafe standing outside. “What the fuck are you doing?” You looked back down at your bike and over at Rafe, your shoes scraping against the ground as you stopped your bike. “Going home…” You furrow your brows, unable to hide your smile and laugh as you looked at Rafe’s annoyed expression.

“Are you high?” He asked, walking closer to you to observe your red eyes and wobbly body as you stood up from the seat on your bike. You gripped the handle bars and laughed, nodding your head. “Yeah.” You whispered, looking back up at the sky with a smile – staring up at the stars and the full moon. “You telling me you’re riding your bike home, at night…high?” He walks closer to you and looks down at you and your bike. You look back down and your eyes meet his, “I might be a little drunk too.” You giggle.

“Are you kidding – c’mon.” You look at Rafe with furrowed brows, your red and droopy eyes full of confusion. He grabs your arm with one hand, pulling you off the bike and his other hand gripping onto the handle bars to keep your bike up and steady.

He puts your bike in the grass and guides you into the yard, pulling your arm as he walks to the back door. You stop and stare at him for a moment before dropping down on the grass – laying down and staring up at the sky. “What – dude, get up. Let’s go.” He whisper yells. You smile and shake your head no – closing your eyes for a moment as you let the summer, midnight breeze brush against your tanned skin.

“Lay down.” He runs a hand through his hair, walking to the back door and back over to you. He stands there with his hands on his hips as he shakes his head. He lets out an irritated sigh and swipes his thumb over his mouth, he drops down next to you and slowly lays down – looking over at your peaceful expression. He watches your hair blow in the wind, your long eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks – and the apples of your cheeks tinted pink with a lazy smile on your lips. He huffs out and turns his head, looking up at the sky.

“Rafe.” You say softly – your eyes still closed as shapes fill your blackened vision. “What happened?” You open your eyes and look over at him, watching him blink and take a deep breath. For the first time in a while he looks almost calm, he looks conflicted and has that signature scowl on his face still – but he looks calm. “What do you mean what happened?” He closes his eyes, his arms folded across his stomach.

“I dunno – what happened with you – with us? Why are you so angry at the world now?” You turn your attention back up to the sky, watching the stars sparkle and the moon shine brighter than ever. He lets out a huff and opens his eyes, “I’m not mad at the world, I just – my dad.” You look over at him and watch his eyes move around as he looks at each star, studying his face and the conflicted look in his eyes.

“You know you don’t have to act so tough around me, right? I know you’re Mr. Bad boy now but I know you better than everyone else. I know you’re hurt and I’d never judge you for hurting.”

He looks over at you, his eyes meeting your red eyes. He doesn’t say a word as he looks at you – he just blinks at you. “What happened to telling me everything? What happened to the late nights on the beach and venting about everything? I’m still your friend.” You whisper, blinking slowly at him. He doesn’t respond and looks back up at the sky, the wheels in his head turning.

“I miss you, Rafe. Regardless if I’m hanging out with pogues or not – that shouldn’t even matter to be honest – I miss hanging out with you, being your best friend, everything. I miss you.” You look back up at the sky with a sigh. “Where are you, Rafe?”

He doesn’t say anything as he stands up and stretches his arm out to you – grabbing his arm he pulls you up and guides you inside to his room. There's no words exchanged as he hands you a pair of his sweatpants and one of his old shirts, you grab them and change in front of him – not feeling uncomfortable since this wasn’t the first time you have. He turns his lights off and lays down, pulling you onto the bed with him. You lay there in silence for a while, staring at his back facing you.

“I don’t know where I am.” He whispers – closing his eyes and falling asleep.

─────────────────────────

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Sooo... Can we talk about Vox and Alastor Cause I'm literally obsessed...

Basically headcanons since of course I seen the post running around where Viv calls their relationship sad and complicated.

Being an 'angst-girlie' I HAVE to gobble this up so here's a few headcanons I immediately thought about.

Mentions of Valentinos acts against humanity so watch out for that. A bit, like a smidge, of kissing and making out mentioned as well.

For Starters

I happily wrote a fanfic for pics that @milariro drew (lovely artist, check em out!) and I think Valentino definitely plays a big roll in the fallout.

So Vox and Alastor were pals yeah, hung out, chit chatted, ate food together, even got close enough for Alastor to feel comfortable doing more intimate actions like cuddling and hugging and such.

I can't help but think of Vox perhaps being on the Acespectrum himself? He's giving "I will but I don't have to" so I get more demi vibes off of him. He probably doesn't give a fuck about anyone else like he does with Alastor so that's why.

I think he could build intimacy with others yes but he's so focused on his work usually outside of his competition.

Vox probably came to hell and started off really small and little so as he grew, he wanted to grow and took his time to try and get bigger. I would say that Valentino could come in here if not later when Vox seemed to develop feelings for Alastor and in doing so Alastor wants to return those said feelings but he's scared.

Scared of what? The unknown.

He probably is someone who doesn't like when he can't see what's going to occur or happen before it actually does.

He's a runner. Imma say that because I can be one. He cares for Vox but he can't stop the way his heart seems to race when they get just a bit too close...

Valentino probably comes in and ruins everything, most likely at a time when Alastor starts to get some sort of understanding on his own feelings and seeing Vox practically become infatuated with Valentino really leaves a void in his own heart.

Of course he wants to support Vox in his endeavors but... Valentino? Out of all people?

Alastor is most likely disgusted by even the thought of Valentino and seeing Vox so happy and eager with him sets. Him. Off.

A lot of arguments now, harsh words and such and really it's from Vox as he's confused and lost as to Alastor's behavior. He probably picked up on it and asked multiple times just for Alastor to brush him off every time so now that smoke is in the air everything is coming out.

Vox probably would confess he's in love with Alastor in this argument, tears, crying and all and Alastor can't help the way he feels about it

He feels he's at fault, and his airy silence doesn't help with all the anguish in the air already

He's scared. He loves Vox as well but something about the situation makes it hard for Alastor to swallow all the information and this leads to the 7 year disappearance

This mother fucker definitely leaves without saying a single thing to Vox and that hurts Vox more than anything else.

What else can Vox do without a single letter or sign as to where his friend went and of course he's going to know he's the reason to a certain extent

It definitely hurts both of them, like... World shattering.

Vox has no choice but to go to Valentino.

I can't help but analyze how Vox seemed... Happy? That he thought Angeldust quit when Valentino was raging. Vox does not love this man...

He of course knows about the things Valentino does... Or maybe... He doesn't? Like maybe he has an idea but he hates to think about it... He's never around when it actually happens to someone?

Valentino probably...has even done things to Vox himself?

Maaaannn like I said these aren't canon ofc but now I'm just rambling. Vox probably goes through similar ways of abuse from Val but he just puts up with it like everyone else? I can see him being so broken behind closed doors and when he's in front of others he puts on the cocky persona of his. It's something he's picked up from Alastor, smiling was a tactic all on its own.

He's unconscious of it but Vox thinks of Alastor all the time; when he wakes, when he works, etc etc and I think that in very little ways Alastor does the same thing.

Alastor definitely thinks of Vox often but he's so much better at hiding it. These two are so broken when they are alone.

I'm hoping they talk more about these two but OMG imagine so heartfelt ass communication after so maybe years... They definitely need it, to air out everything

And imagine that while they are Vox is speaking and Alastor is adamantly listening as he's always done and before he even knows it he's leaning forward, closer and Vox doesn't necessarily realize it until Alastor is just a breath away.

Tbh Alastor wouldn't even know what he was doing, it's like he's doing it unconsciously...no thoughts in mind and when Vox stops for a moment and just right then everything just seems to make sense? Alastor looks at him as if there's nothing but him and Vox would return the gaze before they closed in with a kiss

It's not just a little kiss either, it's one that starts off soft and gentle and leads into something hotter... Something raunchy as they cling to each other and hold each other.

Someone drew a pick with Vox being pinned against the wall by Alastor while kissing and I'll tag them (HERE) when I find them again but yeah it's like that.

It's like Alastor is letting off steam that's been trapped inside him for all those years even prior to his disappearance and he wants to be careful and gentle but he's... Excited, happy to have Vox in his arms again so he gets rough, biting, nipping, sucking until Vox seems to just completely become goop against him because in reality this is all he's wanted from Alastor... To be close to him, to hug him, to kiss him...

To help him, to protect him, to watch him grow and grow together with him.

Alastor still struggles with admitting it but he's just as happy to be with Vox too. (It's giving soulmates?? Soulmate AU ANYONE??! I'LL WRITE IT? PAY ME AND ILL START IT TODAY???!!! Support a disabled writer and I'll write whatever you want!~ current commission status: 3/5 stories to be done which I'll be working on right after this post)

Ahem...

But anyway they are married your honor!

I can see Vox coming to the Hotel after he manages to break free of Valentino. Maybe running off and disappearing on him and pulling an Alastor while Valentino rages at everyone else to find him. Velvet is broken between helping and not.

Vox coming to the hotel would be a shit fest to start off but... He is actually really helpful, and he takes the time to rebuild a connection with Angeldust and Alastor and he seems just so much more... Happy and genuine? And sometimes when Alastor notices he can't help but show a genuine smile as he admires Vox.

They would eventually come together to help publicize the hotel and WOAH are they banging!

The radio demon and TV demon have come together to help some crappy hotel rehabilitate sinners? Holy shit!

They reel people in from all over for various reasons whether it be fangirls shipping them or people actually wanting help and to grow...

They are happy together but...

Valentino and whoever is on his side of things definitely managed to also pick up on the sudden booming aura coming off of that hotel and maybe...maybe they'll pay a visit.

One that reminds Vox of everything that Valentino did to him and OMG imagine Vox having a panic attack or something, running off because he knows it's Val? Leaving Alastor to go hunt for him?

A fight would be interesting.

Alright alright, imma shut up.

I wrote this write the angst in mind but of course I rambled hahah. Either way, I said what I said. ÙwÚ

If you made it this far follow? Reblog? Comment???

MWAH 💋

- A

[mrcarmenile]

okay HI

MY THOUGHTS ON THE FINALE!!

HAZBIN HOTEL FINALE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

holy fucking god do i have words to say

here’s some INCREDIBLY unorganized thoughts:

alastor losing his filter temporarily made my heart DROP dude. also is it just me or did he lose his accent too? like it just kind of sounded like amir to me lmao

angel with his “charlie said to live tonight however we wanted” JUMPSCARED ME and then when he said “so pour me a fresh one” i was like Oh

adam said some real knee slappers this episode i was laughing so hard. “SUCK MY HOLY LIGHT FUCKERS” “chill lute. fuck” “wow i didn’t see this giant fucking shield in front of me YOU DUMB BITCH NO SHIT” are my favorites

the whole “now i’m going to fuck you” gag had me ROLLING (angel’s little 🤨 and valentino’s “well this just got interesting” got me dude)

ALSO LUCIFER FUCKED EVE????? HUH?????

vox screaming at the tv also had me choking from laughter, especially the “NOOO FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!! PUSSY!!!” (that is absolutely me yelling at the tv ur not alone vox 🙏)

the “these fucking angels won’t stop coming” “HA!” scene was weirdly cute and i love it

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT EVERYONE’S OUTFITS???? CHARLIE’S DRESS WAS FUCKING ADORABLE AND VAGGIE’S SUIT THING WAS BADASS AND ANGEL SERVED CUNT WITH THAT LOOK AND DON’T GET ME STARTED WITH CHERRI BOMB so many halloween costumes to choose from man

also lucifer’s hot

alastor and niffty was the cutest thing i love them so much why are they wholesome ☹️☹️ “i dub thee - king roach!!” and the little crown 🥺

LMAO THE SIR PENTIOUS AND CHERRI BOMB KISS WAS EPIC AND COMEDIC AS FUCK (“that was kinda hot..” had me rolling)

the last song nearly had me crying like i SCREECHED when lucifer started singing to the tune of happy day in hell and the fucking vox and val duet???? and velvette filming them dancing??? the vees are terrible fucking people why was that scene wholesome LET ME HATE THEM STOP GIVING VILLAINS DEPTH AND EMOTIONS AND REAL BONDS PLEASEEEE (/nsrs obviously well written villains are peak but I WANNA HATE THEM SO BAD) also alastor’s part gave me fr chills like. “great alastor, altruist, died for his friends” THE WAY AMIR TALAI SANG THAT LIKE HE WAS ON THE VERGE OF SNAPPING. ROUND OF FUCKING APPLAUSE. and the new hotel looks fucking fire i can’t wait to see the interior!!!

the end of the last song nearly brought me to tears it was such a perfect ending note

SPEAAAAKING OF SONGS. HOOLY SHIT. THE MORE THAN ANYTHING REPRISE??? shit made me shed a tear like. AND THE KISS???? finally we get the goddamn lesbians god bless 🙏🙏🙏

also can i just say vox and val making out with tongue at the end for 0.5 seconds SENT ME. i was caught so off guard that i laughed until i choked dude like that shit fr got me

“how’s mercy taste ya little bitch” is officially one of my favorite hazbin quotes cuz the way jeremy jordan said it was fucking hilarious

oh and the battle scenes were fucking crazy i can see where half the budget went lmfao the fight scenes ATE

also wtf lilith was in heaven this whole time? just chilling? idk what to think or say about thing honestly

and if lucifer fucked eve is she in hell too???? is SHE the one who has alastor on a leash?? what is her relation to lilith??? are they working together or are they enemies or is eve pretending to be lilith or do they have nothing to do with each other??? why did lilith leave hell??? why did they let her leave hell??? what did lute mean by “your deal is done”???? i need answers bro

ALSO I WONDER WHERE EVERYTHING’S GONNA GO NOW THAT PENTIOUS PROVED SOULS CAN BE REDEEMED. now that they’ve proved it is the main plot going to be actually redeeming people? or is heaven gonna hide it from them??? can angel dust be redeemed when valentino owns his soul??? does angel dust truly WANT to be redeemed? once they know that you have to die to be redeemed are they gonna be able to take that risk?? now that i think of it wtf will be the main focus of season 2?? we know the vees play a big role so maybe they’ll try to prevent souls from leaving (maybe valentino will make it really hard for angel to leave and that’ll be a big part?) idk i got a lot of questions man

and it seems like they’re setting alastor up to be the main villain at the end. it seems although his mysterious deal isn’t allowing him to unleash his full power, so when he’s free of the deal i can only imagine how feral he could go. (my guess is that he uses the favor charlie promised to help release him from the deal and then charlie regrets it later when he goes crazy)

anyways all in all the finale is crazy good and i will NOT be getting over it any time soon and i am not ready to wait another few years 🥲

[askoverlordvox]

Name dropping people I want your opinion on

- dahlia

- kori

- retep

- alastor

Wow, there really are a lot of these fuckers, huh? Okay.

@exorcist-dahlia is a fucking pain, honestly. Not just because I like Ava's spunky attitude, either; she's just genuinely a pain. Not only is she an Exorcist, she's a judgy one, too? Fucking puh-lease. Telegraph your insecurities any harder and you'll be fucking glass, bitch. She's the basic kind of bitch who never leaves high school in her head and spends the rest of her life- and afterlife, apparently- chasing down what it means to be 'popular' without ever realizing she's behind the curve. Really can't stand this type.

And to brighten my mood, we've got @ask-kori! She's just the purrfect little bodyguard, a Sinner after my own heart, ruthless and cutthroat but such a sweetheart with those who do the bare minimum of showing her respect! I'm so glad I intervened before Val put his spell on her. Now, I won't lie, she's a vicious murderer, a sadistic torturer, and an absolute menace to whoever is on her kill list... but, I decide who's on that list, so to me, she's the purrfect employee with a cat motif and a sweet disposition. I'm a proud cat dad of a bloodthirsty huntress!

As for Retep... eh, I found his antics amusing. His power grab at the end, though- not how I would've done it but definitely amusing. That it took Peter calling on so much help to defeat Retep speaks to how much of a threat the fucker was, and I respect that. His daughter's a-fucking-nnoying, though, so I kinda wish he was still around. And his death spawning so many other NRWEs and getting the teenaged fun police to actually get up and do something about it has been a headache gnawing at the back of my mind for a while now. Still, I'm pretty ambivalent regarding Retep overall.

And then you had to go and ask about him. Fuck you, opinion anon. You wanna know my opinion on Al? He's... fucking...

Listen. When we first met, I thought Al was everything I could ever want. Confidence, showmanship, charisma, he had it all, and his suave, savvy, methodical approach to everything left me in awe- in a professional sense and... well. Other ways. I was alone in that. Al admires no one but himself. Honestly, I thought I liked that about him, until I found myself wanting more. I guess that's my fault. I don't think Al ever saw me as anything other than a tool, a means to an end. I thought we were partners. I was wrong.

To me, he's my smooth talking ex who never gave a damn about me... but I realize now that he never realized he was supposed to care. It sucks, being in a one-sided relationship with someone completely oblivious... but that's on me, too. Two different mediums, unable to really... get each other...

It was easier to hate him. To pin the blame on him. To be the good guy moving on with someone new and leaving him a broken, bloody pile in the dust... but I'm not the good guy, I really don't think I ever even liked Val aside from pure physical satisfaction, and I almost killed Alastor to soothe my own wounded Pride.

It's easier to just say I fucking hate him because, if I think about it too long, I'm going to remember all the reasons I like him, and all the reasons I shouldn't, and how little it all matters to him anyway.

[stillgotme]

previously | next | beginning

[the-iceni-bitch]

Catch that Buzz

Pairing: Drug Lord!Thor x fem!Reader, and a little surprise crime boss!Steve Rogers x fem!Reader x crime boss!Bucky Barnes

Words: ~10.8k (yikers)

Summary: You’re the queen to Miami’s biggest drug lord. He’s got the market on lock but is looking to expand, hopefully with some help from some potential friends from Brooklyn. But he’d never get any of it done without you.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, f and m receiving oral sex, unprotected vaginal sex, titty worship, voyeurism, exhibitionism, sex pollen vibes, mentions of anal sex and tit fucking, tattoo kink, little bit of a knife kink, violence kink, minor praise kink), heavy drug use, slightly above canon level violence,  possessive Thor, hints of dark things to come, SMUT!!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!!

A/N: I went all out for this one guys, taking a little page out of @stargazingfangirl18‘s playbook by having absolutely no chill when it comes to mob AUs! This 100% got away from me and has a mind of it’s own. I did not at all plan on having any Stucky action but I couldn’t help it! This is gonna be a big ass series with appearances from all our faves and a variety of readers and I cannot even tell you how excited I am about it. Big fucking shout out to @cockslut-padalecki and @afriendlyblackhottie because I don’t know if I would have started writing this without their encouragement. I really hope you all enjoy this insanity!!! 

(Credit for the dividers goes to the amazing @whimsicalrogers)

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!!!

You were slicing the fruit for your breakfast when he walked into the kitchen, already talking on that fucking phone.

“No, we’re not moving this meeting again.” He already sounded pissed off, but he still wrapped himself around your back and pressed a kiss to your neck before stealing a slice of mango. “If those New York assholes want to move their product through our port it’s tonight or nothing.”

It was upsetting how good he looked, his hair still slightly tousled from sleep and his satin pajama bottoms slung low on his hips as he moved to grab some juice from the fridge. You had a difficult time staying mad at him while you ogled the runic tattoos that ran over his torso and arms.

“Fucking ridiculous. Figure it out Sif, I don’t have time for this shit.” The phone clattered across the counter when he tossed it after hanging up, finally turning to you and smiling. “Morning beautiful.”

“Good morning. Meeting still on?” You grabbed a second bowl for him and scooped some yogurt into it before adding some honey and fruit.

“It better be. I’m sick of these dodgy fuckers.” His ringed fingers ran over his face in frustration as he watched you put everything away before bringing the food over and hopping up to sit on the counter in front of him. “Just want to go on a fucking vacation already.”

“You need to finish this deal if you don’t want a war with New York, honey.” You took a bite of your parfait and leaned back on one arm, swinging your legs lazily. “Then we can take as much time off as you want.”

“You’re telling me things I already know, sweetheart.” He reached out and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer and nuzzling into your hair.

“Then quit fucking complaining about it.” You scooped a finger through the remains of your yogurt and smeared it on his nose, beaming at him before leaning forward mouth it off.

A low growl rumbled his chest as he slotted himself between your thighs, his hands resting on either side of your hips before he was ducking to catch your lips with his. He started brushing his lips down your neck when you wrapped your legs around his hips, locking your ankles together behind him and scrabbling your fingers over his back when he flicked his tongue out to trace the hollow behind your ear.

“Think I’m just gonna spend all day right here.” He purred, his fingers skimming over your thighs then digging into your hips and dragging your ass to the edge of the counter. “Val can figure out the logistics for the meeting.”

“I’m sure she can handle... fuck... handle it.” Your breath hitched when he knelt in front of you and started kissing the insides of your thighs, occasionally sucking a bruise against your soft flesh.

He breathed against your entrance and you keened, winding a hand through his hair and trying to drive yourself into his face. When he finally flicked his tongue out to taste you, you almost collapsed, a jolt of pleasure shooting through your body from your core. His arms wound around your legs and kept you still as he ate you out like a starving man, his tongue swirling expertly through your folds and lapping up all the evidence of your arousal.

The sound of his phone buzzing across the counter almost broke you out of your blissful haze, blinking slowly as you turned your head to look at the offensive object.

“Don’t you dare.” He mumbled when you reached for the phone, diving back in and sucking at your pussy lips before sliding his tongue inside you.

“Jesus, Thor!” You managed to catch yourself on your elbow when your arm gave out as his nose brushed against your clit.

His grin faded when the phone buzzed again and he growled against your cunt, the vibrations making you clench around his tongue when he curled it inside you.

“Baby, it’s Val.” You’d managed to catch a glimpse of the caller ID. “She wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important.”

“I’m busy.” He grunted, pressing soft kisses over your mound to give you a short reprieve before shaking his head to bury himself deeper at the same time he wrapped his lips around your clit.

“Fuck!!” All the muscles in your body seized as your orgasm washed over you, your cum soaking his stubble when you finally released all over his face.

If you thought he was finished you were wrong, screaming when he shoved two fingers inside you while he flicked soft kitten licks against your tiny bundle of nerves. Your pathetic whimpers and mewls filled the silence of the kitchen while he took you apart, scissoring his fingers to stretch you before inserting a third and grinning when you arched into his face.

He ignored the screeching of tires from outside, still fucking you with his fingers when he heard a car door slam and the front door flew open.

“Hey boss, Y/N.” Val had a wicked grin on her face when she sauntered into the kitchen, moving to the fridge and grabbing an apple before turning to watch the two of you. “Hate to interrupt but we’ve got a bit of a problem.”

Thor growled into your pussy and you whined, writhing against his face while he raised his free hand and motioned for Val to continue.

“We found a rat in the shipyard crew.” She pulled out her butterfly knife and flicked it open with a flourish, winking at you before slicing off a chunk of apple and bringing it to her lips.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Cop?” His fingers were still stroking that sweet spot when he broke away with a scowl, and you swallowed a shriek when he started taking his frustration out on your cunt.

“Don’t think so, he had a lot of money coming in from some West Coast accounts.” She cocked her head and grinned at you when he started mouthing at your sex again, a desperate moan leaving your lips. “Think Stark might be considering making a move.”

“That’s all I fucking need.” He murmured against your pussy. “You stash him?”

“Yeah, at the lab.”

Maybe you should have felt a little demeaned that the two of them were talking like you weren’t even there, but all you could focus on was the warm coil of pleasure that was gathering in your abdomen and the effort you were taking to not black out.

“Good. Lemme finish up here then I’ll head out.”

“Sure thing boss.” She gave you one more smirk and tossed the apple core in the compost bin before turning to leave. “You may want to put down a towel, when she starts breathing like that it usually means she’s about to squirt.”

His dark chuckle against your clit did it, your back arching you off the counter as you let out a wail. He wrapped his lips around your cunt and moaned when your release squirted into his mouth, his tongue laving over your entrance as he swallowed your essence while you vibrated against his face.

It took a few minutes for you to come down, panting breathlessly as he rose to his feet and grinned at you.

“Dunno how I should feel about Val knowing so much about what your body does when you come, love.” He teased, his fingers lightly skimming over your thighs.

“Maybe if you weren’t constantly fucking me in front of her.” Your brain was finally starting to reset, and you started to sit up with a low moan, your thighs quivering with the strain of aftershocks. 

“Right.” He pressed a kiss to your hair before stepping back and running his hand over his mouth. “Go get dressed, you’re coming with me.”

You beamed at him and slowly slid off the counter, your smile slipping slightly when your knees buckled and he had to catch you, pulling you to his chest with a grin.

“You sure you want that, baby?” The weakness in your legs was fading quickly, and you managed to stand on your own to head towards the bedroom. “Last time you almost killed that guy when you though he was looking at me too long.”

“I’m sure, I had big plans for that perfect body today, I’m not putting those off because of some rat.”

“Fuck, that’s it.” His hand gripped your hair painfully when you swallowed around his cock, his head leaning against the seat as the town car pulled up to the lab. “Oh good girl, take all of it.”

You hummed and he let out a hiss when your throat constricted around him at the same time he swelled and shot his release against the roof of your mouth. He held your head down while his hips jerked against your face with a stutter, making sure you’d gotten everything before letting you go to sit back up.

“Feel better?” You teased, grabbing your compact and lipstick from your purse to fix your face.

“For now. That mouth of yours is something else.” He tucked himself back into his slacks with a deep sigh before turning to look at the building you were parked in front of. “But now I gotta deal with this shit.”

“I know, baby.” His breathing relaxed a little when you wound your fingers through his and pressed your lips to his palm. “You want me in the room?”

“Always.” The two of you slid out of the car and started to head inside, separating reluctantly to at least try to appear professional. “Wanna say hello to the big man first though, heard he might have something new for me.”

You perked up at that. Bruce was always a treat to talk to, such an unbelievably sweet and unassuming man. And he was a goddamn genius when it came to drugs.

“Hi there boss. Y/N! What a nice surprise!” That smile was infectious, you couldn’t help but grin back at him while Thor inspected the small collection of parachute papers on the lab table, each one emblazoned with the signature lighting bolt.

“Hiya Bruce.” You gave him a brief hug before following him to where your man was standing. “I heard you’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, been tinkering with the old Mjolnir formula and think I finally hit that sweet spot.” He looked at the small pieces of paper like a proud father before handing one to you for inspection. “I call it Stormbreaker. Extremely fast acting MDMA compound that gives an incredible high while metabolizing in half the time. I think we should be able to roll it out full scale in time for Spring Break.”

Thor nodded appreciatively as you talked with Bruce about the specifics of the chemistry, always eager for the chance to talk to another academic and geek out.

“And it’s more intense than Mjolnir?” You asked, squinting at the tiny piece of paper in your palm.

“Sure is.”

“Half dose, gorgeous.” Thor scolded when you started to bring the paper to your mouth. “Don’t need you passing out on me.”

You rolled your eyes at him as Bruce gave a sheepish grin, taking the paper you were holding and measuring out a smaller dose for you. Thor smirked at you when you waggled the new paper at him before swallowing it.

“Oh, shit.” Warmth bloomed in your core and spread through your body on thin tendrils, snaking through your veins as a low throbbing started between your thighs and your head became instantly lighter. “Fuck, that’s intense. Umm... is this cut with something new?”

“No we just upped the purity, why?”

“No reason.” You gasped, gripping Thor’s forearm tightly as slick flooded your panties.

He was giving you a knowing grin while you leaned into his shoulder, moaning softly when you inhaled the subtle pink pepper and lemon scent of his cologne, quiet notes of orange blossom drifting through as all of your senses ramped up. Poor Bruce just looked at the two of you with confusion when you rubbed your face into Thor’s chest.

“I think we can move to full scale production of this immediately.” Thor knocked his rings against the table twice to show his approval, wrapping his arm around your waist and holding you up when you started to grind against him. “Good job, Banner.”

“Ready for you boss.” Val came striding into the room and laughed when she got a look at you trying resist the urge to hump Thor’s leg. “I see we let Y/N try the big man’s new sex drug. How you feelin’ there sweetie?”

“I feel fucking great Val, what about you?” Maybe if you squeezed your thighs together... oh god. Your legs almost gave out as a shock traveled up your spine and burst at the base of your skull.

“Not as good as you!”

You finally started to equalize and gave Thor a pat on the shoulder to signal you could walk, straightening yourself before the two of you followed after his lieutenant.

The two of you arrived at the side room a little behind Val, Thor releasing you with a hungry kiss that left you breathless before he was slipping out of his suit jacket and tossing over the back of the armchair he’d had brought in for you. You snarled at him for leaving you hanging as you sank into the seat and pouted, admiring the movement of his well muscled back under his shirt as he rolled up his sleeves.

“What’s this asshole’s name Val?” He asked, looking at the tools she had set out on the table with a nod before turning to the man that was strapped to the chair in the middle of the room.

“Fuck if I know.” She said with a snort, grabbing a set of brass knuckles and putting them on as she flexed her hand.

You crossed your legs and reached into your bag to pull out a book, flipping it open to the marked page as you did your best to tune them out, unsuccessfully.

“Right, what’s your name?” Aside from a slightly furrowed brow, he looked remarkably calm, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall.

“Tim.” The man licked his lips nervously as he watched your man, completely ignoring Val as she prowled towards him.

That was a mistake.

She drew her fist back and drove it into his cheek, grabbing the back of the chair to keep it from teetering over when his upper body snapped to the side. He chest heaved as he took pained breaths, spitting blood down his chest before raising his eyes to watch her warily.

“Tim. I’ve got three questions for you, and you’re going to answer them for me.” He hefted the silver hammer that was laying on the table and rested it against his shoulder. “You get three chances to answer with just Val providing incentive, then I’m gonna take over, and trust me when I say you don’t want that.”

“Ok.” The poor sap kept one eye on Val as he tried to straighten back up.

“Good.” He started tossing the hammer in the air lazily, catching it in one hand like it was the easiest thing in the world and he didn’t know that sort of cocky display was going to turn you into a wet mess. “Who’s paying you? How long have they been paying you? What have you told them?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I work for you.”

“Oof, wrong answer.”

Val tsked at him mockingly before driving her fist into his ribs, knocking all the air out of him as Thor walked over to stand next to you. You huffed when he pulled your book away and sat on the armrest next to you, your protests dying on your lips when he ran his fingers up your spine and started rubbing your neck, his other hand spinning the handle of the hammer through his fingers.

“Let’s try again. Who’s paying you? How long have they been paying you? What have you told them?”

“I’m not...”

“Hmph, Val?”

She backhanded his unbruised cheek with a smirk, stepping back and shaking the blood off her fingers when she was finished. You barely caught any of it, the drugs still coursing through your system making the feel of Thor’s hands on you so much more intense. When he brought his massive hand up to cup your jaw you whined, opening your mouth just enough to let him slip his thumb between your lips.

“Last chance, Timmy. I gotta tell you I’m torn. As much as I love using this hammer, my girl here took a little something that is gonna make fucking her even better than normal.” He slid his thumb further into your mouth and groaned when you swirled your tongue around it. “So I’d really like to wrap this up. Who’s paying you? How long have they been paying you? What have you told them?”

The man turned his eyes to you and gave you a pleading look. “Please, help me.”

Thor and Val broke down in hysterics, Thor curling over to laugh into your hair while Val doubled over and clutched her sides.

“Ha, oh that’s the wrong move!” Thor was finally able to sit up as his laughter subsided, but tears were starting to leak down Val’s cheeks while she wheezed. “Even if she could help you, she loves on this shit. She probably wants me to start using this hammer, last time she started touching herself before I even finished.”

His hand curled possessively around your throat when you shrugged at poor Tim before flicking your eyes back to Thor’s when he bent to kiss you hungrily.

“Answer the fucking questions, Timmy boy.” Val turned to him with an eye roll while Thor teased you with his tongue until you were moaning.

“I don’t know anything!”

“Goddamn it! Sorry love.” You whined when he disconnected from you and stood up, starting to unbutton his shirt so he could slide it off his shoulders.

Not that you could complain when he was standing there in only his undershirt, rolling his neck as he walked towards the center of the room.

“Bring the table, Val.”

She dragged it over with a grin, dropping it once she reached them and moving to unbind Tim’s right hand. He started spluttering pathetic pleas when she stretched his arm over the table painfully and wrenched his hand open while Thor hefted the hammer with a heavy sigh.

“Thor.” You called out to stop him before he brought the hammer down on Tim’s hand.

“Yeah, what is it honey?” He shot you an exasperated look over his shoulder as he ran his hand through his hair.

“You’ll want to hit the wrist not the palm. More nerve endings.”

His hearty laugh made you smile, leaning back in your seat and curling your legs under you as you settled in to watch.

“Thank you, baby.” He turned back to Tim with a wicked grin. “Isn’t she something special, Timmy?”

“Wait, fuck! I’ll talk!” The man screamed right before the hammer made contact.

“Ohh, nick of time!” Only Val looked a little disappointed, moving to restrain Tim’s hand again. “Who’s paying you?”

“One of Stark’s lieutenants, I think his name is Hogan.”

“Excellent. How long?”

“Six months.”

“Very good Tim. Now, tell Val everything you told that fat fuck and then we’ll let you go.” He nodded to Val before striding towards you and drawing you to your feet, tossing you over his shoulder and slapping your ass playfully as he started heading back to the front of the building. “You got room at the body farm, beautiful?”

“Yeah, let me know when your dropping him so I can make sure I’m working that night.”

He shoved you into the back seat of the town car when it pulled up, grinning when you squealed for him as he crawled in after you.

“How long do we have until the Stormbreaker is out of your system?” He pulled you into his lap and buried his face in your neck as he shoved his fingers under the hem of your skirt.

“Bruce said it metabolizes in half the time so probably 2 more hours.” You sighed when he teased his fingers under the sides of your panties and started sliding them down your legs.

“Perfect, let’s see how many times I can make you come before then.” He turned to drop you against the seat, tucking your panties in his back pocket before moving his hands to undo his fly. “Bet I can make you pass out, you’re already fucking soaked.”

“Don’t you fucking tease me. I’ve been on the edge for the past half hour, I need that cock.”

“God, you know I love when you talk like that.” He growled as he spread your legs wide, hissing through his teeth when he got a look at the wet, throbbing mess between your thighs. “Just look at that. Tell me how much you need it, gorgeous.”

“Fuck, Thor, gimme that cock.” You were burning up, your breath coming in shallow gasps as he teased his tip against your clit. “Need it to split my pussy open.”

“Yeah, she hungry for it?” He groaned as he slid into you, mesmerized while he watched you swallow every inch of him. “Fuuuck.”

“Oh my god, keep going.” You thumped your fist against the door when he started thrusting into you with abandon. “Shit, I’m gonna come.”

“Jesus, that was fast.” He curled over you and swallowed your scream as you fluttered around him. “I’m gonna give Banner a raise.”

“I really think you should.” You murmured, whining into his mouth when you came again almost immediately.

“You’re taking me so good, beautiful.” He purred, grinning when you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Making such a pretty mess for me. You keep this up you’re gonna pass out before we even get back to the house.”

You took a deep breath when he pulled out, grateful for the relief before he was flipping you over and driving back into you hard, ripping another orgasm from you. Your jaw went slack as you pressed your face to the leather seat, drool starting to leak down your chin while you mumbled incoherently.

“Can’t.” Tears were streaming down your cheeks when you fluttered with even more pleasure. “Baby, I can’t.”

“Oh, yes you can, honey. You’re already doing it.” He nuzzled into your hair and pressed his lips to your neck, winding his fingers with yours above your head. “Just gimme one more, I’m so close.”

You choked on a sob and your vision blacked out as you clenched around him one final time, sinking into the seat while he filled you up with a low moan.

“Jesus fuck. You with me love?” He pulled out of you slowly, grinning when he heard you mumble into the seat. “We’re home.”

All you could do was groan when he scooped you up to carry you inside, not able to make yourself care that your skirt was still gathered around your waist and your lower half was completely bare. The sensation of the fresh air on the combination of your releases made you gasp, squeezing your thighs together as even more slick leaked out of you.

“Already?” He teased when you sat up to bury your face in his throat. “That genius is gonna make me so much fucking money.”

It was 90 minutes later and you were finally coming out of your haze, soaking your overworked muscles in your massive tub as you leaned back against Thor’s chest and hummed to yourself while he rubbed the kinks out of your shoulders and arms.

He had spent the past hour and a half wringing every ounce of pleasure from your body, making you come over and over as he fucked every one of your holes. You’d passed out three more times, each time waking up to his face buried between your thighs as he started the whole process all over again.

Taking you apart was his favorite thing, especially when you were on something and extra sensitive. He loved when you were completely fucked out, crying all pretty for him and covered in cum. You were always so needy after, content to let him take care of you while you basked in your post coital glow.

He looked at the clock and groaned, pressing his lips to your hair before rising out of the water. You just sighed, watching appreciatively as rivulets of water ran over the muscles of his back. God his ass was just fantastic.

“Y/N.” His deep voice snapped you out of your little daydream as he ran a towel through his hair, beaming as he turned to look at you. “We need to leave in an hour.”

“Ugh, fine.” You frowned when he wrapped the towel around his hips and started to move to the closet to choose a suit, getting out of the tub with reluctance. “Is this a panties or no panties type of meeting?”

“It’s at Thrudheim.” He called over the blow dryer as you worked on your hair.

“So, no panties.” You sighed, flipping over as you continued the slow process of getting ready.

It was a half hour later when you strolled out of the bathroom, your hair and makeup perfect as you moved to your own closet. Thor was fastening his cuff links when strode into the bedroom, wearing that white suit that he knew was your favorite.

“No, the leather one.” He ordered when you pulled out your go to red mini number.

“Really?!” You put the red dress back and pulled out the black thing he was indicating. “That’s how you want to play this?”

“Absolutely.” He grinned as he watched you slip it on and start to draw the zipper up your front. “That’s far enough, want everyone to see that ink.”

His fingers reached out to trace your tattoo, the handle of the hammer that ran between your breasts before the head spread underneath them. It marked you as his, and fuck if he didn’t start to get hard every time he saw it.

“Nuh-uh, we’re on a timetable.” You chuckled as you moved to pick out some heels, settling on some sparkly stiletto booties. “Are you going to be able to control yourself tonight?”

“I’ll do my best, but you’re so damn distracting.” He wrapped himself around your back and pressed his lips to your shoulder when the two of you started moving towards the stairs.

“That is the idea.” You teased, shoving him off you so the two of you didn’t trip as you walked downstairs.

Val and Heimdall were chatting in the foyer when you arrived, stopping their conversation and turning to face you.

“They’ve been at the club for about 20 minutes, boss.” Heimdall said, holding your door open for you as you climbed into the SUV. “Sif says they’re starting to look a little pissed.”

“Good.” Thor crawled in after you and slammed the door closed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as Heimdall pulled out after the other SUVs in the caravan. “I’m pissed they’ve been putting this off for the past three months. They can wait an extra hour. I’m guessing that both of them made it out.”

“Yep, Barnes and Rogers both landed this morning.” Val turned in her seat to look at you two, that signature smirk of hers teasing the corners of her lips. “Guess they finally realized there wasn’t some secret port they could sneak their coke through.”

“How many men with them?” Thor started running his fingers over your arm lazily while you leaned against his chest.

“Just three. Romanoff, Barton, and Wilson.”

“Alright, make sure Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral are in position before we arrive.”

You gave his thigh a squeeze, feeling the nervous energy that was radiating off him in waves. He always got like this before a big meeting. No matter how calm he seemed on the surface, you could always see the thunderstorms of anticipation brewing behind his eyes. It was best to let him think in silence, so you just snuggled against his chest for the rest of the ride, letting your warm presence soothe him as much as possible.

The line of SUVs arrived at Thrudheim in 30 minutes, and you felt Thor take a deep breath before Heimdall opened the door and the two of you stepped out into the night.

You bypassed the massive queue for the door, Val moving in front of you and Heimdall behind as you stepped into the noisy chaos of Thor’s flagship club. It was packed as always, writhing bodies filling the dance floor while other revelers gathered around the multiple bars or in private booths.

Sif moved to join you as you walked past the club’s entrance, leaning close to Val to update her on the situation. You spotted Fandral at the main bar and he gave you a nod as you moved past. Hogun and Volstagg must have been close by, but there was no way to spot them in the press of bodies while you made your way towards the VIP section at the back of the club.

Thor wrapped his arm around your waist as you drew closer, grinning at you when you slapped his chest when he made adjustments to your tits until they were practically spilling out of your dress. That was the game you two played though; him negotiating aggressively and methodically while you distracted his targets by looking like the embodiment of sin. He loved watching the morons he had to deal with look at you like they wanted to eat you alive, knowing all the while that he’d be fucking you until you were screaming as soon as the deal was closed.

You finally arrived at the VIP lounge and started to size up Thor’s potential new partners when you stepped past the velvet ropes. Val and the cute little redhead were giving each other almost identical smirks as the mohawked man she was talking to rolled his eyes. It was hard not to return the charming smile of the handsome man who was leaning against one of the pillars, and when his brown eyes met yours he gave you a wink.

It felt like a punch in the gut when your eyes finally found the two men you were there to meet, and the very unwelcome thought that god gave you three holes for a reason crossed your mind.

You were drawn to the blonde first, his broad shoulders looking like they were about to burst the seams of his well tailored suit jacket. His shirt was unbuttoned enough that you could see lines of ink tracings his chest, matching the scrolls that ran over the backs of his hands and ringed fingers. Even in the dim light of the club, you could make out the deep blue of his eyes, the corners pinched with annoyance. He ran a hand over his perfectly manicured beard in frustration before his movements suddenly stopped when his eyes found you.

The brunette seemed far more relaxed, seated on one of the plush couches with his legs spread wide and a drink in his hand. He didn’t seem to be as tatted up as the blonde, but you still spotted a few swirls of ink under the loosened collar of his shirt. You were surprised when you saw the glint of metal from his left hand, wondering what injury had caused him to lose the arm and also how that neural link must work. His eyes seemed to be twinkling with mischief, and when they followed the blonde’s his face split in a grin after he ran his tongue over his bottom lip slowly.

You did your best to school your thoughts when you turned back to Thor, but the smile he was giving you made you worried he knew exactly what you were thinking. That was either a very bad or very good thing, depending on how the rest of the night went.

“Odinson! Nice to finally put a face to the name.” The brunette stood up and strode towards the two of you. “Bucky Barnes.”

Thor took his hand when he offered, returning the man’s grin warmly as he removed his arm from around your waist.

“Would’ve been nicer to put a face to the name an hour ago.” The blonde growled, his eyes still fixed on you as you finally started to calm down.

“Forgive Steve here, he’s been a little impatient to get things underway.” The two of you followed after Barnes as he moved back to the couches, sinking into the one opposite him as Thor motioned for a waitress.

“Completely understandable. I know I’ve been anxious to get this taken care since we first made contact three months ago.” And the passive aggressive foreplay had begun. Thor ordered ordered a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Aquavit as well as three bottles of champagne for the group, adding a bottle of bourbon when he got a look at the drink in Barnes’ hand.

“I know, I know. We hated having to delay, but there were so many complications with the logistics there was really no choice.” He was a good liar, like you all didn’t know they’d been trying to back door their way into the Miami market without paying their dues. “Stevie, quit being a fucking grouch and come sit.”

You could feel his eyes on you as he moved to join you three, the lieutenants following after and arranging themselves around the couches with a false air of relaxation.

“Now, I think we all know who almost everyone else is, we’ve got our reputations and such that proceed us.” Bucky’s eyes moved back to you when the drinks arrived. “But I got no idea who you are doll, and me and Stevie here aren’t big on surprises.”

You beamed at him, leaning over nice and slow so they had a good view of your tits as you poured yourself some Aquavit.

“I’m Y/N.” You said teasingly, leaning back as you took a sip of your drink and felt their eyes follow you. “I’m just here to look pretty.”

“Well, you’re doing a great job.” Bucky gave you a wink before pouring his own drink.

“Enough fucking small talk, let’s get this over with.” Steve grumbled, his rings tapping against his glass irritably.

“Fine by me.” Thor took the glass of vodka you handed him and tossed it back in one gulp. “You want to move your product into my city, but I’ve got a pretty good corner on the narcotics market out here. Why should I split my profits with you boys?”

“You’ve got the edge on the MDMA market sure, but we’ve heard that your coke is barely above the cut.” He motioned for the redhead to step forward and she deposited a brick of white powder in the middle of the table. “That’s what we offer.”

Thor held your shoulder when you started to lean forward towards the coke, shaking his head with a small smile when you pouted at him.

“And this is supposed to be better than what my boys are already turning out?” He looked skeptical.

“Why don’t you try it and tell us.” Rogers growled, starting to look a little more relaxed as he sipped his bourbon.

“I’m sure you boys are on the up and up, but if you think I’m just gonna take a bump of unopened product from a couple of strangers...”

“Say no more.” Bucky gave him a dismissive wave of his hand before pulling a knife out from under his jacket with a flourish and plunged it into the brick. He scooped a small bump onto the edge of the blade and brought it to his face, inhaling deeply then sinking back into the couch with a satisfied smirk. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

Thor gave a snort before leaning forward and dipping his pinkie into the powder, shoving the coated finger into his mouth and rubbing it over his gums.

“Hmm, that’s fast.” He hummed with appreciation, taking another quick bump before resting his elbows on his knees. “Think we can find a place for this with our distributors.”

“You want a taste, sweetheart?” Rogers’ eyes were dark as pulled his own knife out and offered you a line off the blade.

You turned to Thor and he gave you a small nod, continuing his negotiations with Barnes as you leaned towards Steve. He grinned wolfishly as he watched you snort the powder off the edge of his weapon, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth when he saw your chest heave as the stimulant hit your system.

“Oh, fuck.” Every nerve in your body started buzzing with electricity, your spine shivering as the high took over. “Jesus Christ, that’s good shit.”

Rogers ran the tip of his blade over your bottom lip gently, tugging your mouth open with a low moan before Thor’s voice broke you out of it.

“How you feeling, love?” He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you towards him, trying not to give Rogers too much of a shit eating grin when he saw his look of disappointment.

“Like I could fight a rhino.” You hummed, arching your back with pleasure while you leaned against him.

“Yeah? Maybe later.” He pressed his lips to your hair before turning back to his new partners. “So, free use of the ports and our land distribution network, and I get a 25% cut of all Miami profits. We’ll also start moving Mjolnir and Stormbreaker in New York, giving you 15% of those profits.”

“Why should we get 10% less than you, Odinson?” Steve was starting to look pissed again, bouncing the blade of his knife off the palm of his hand. “We’re taking on just as much risk.”

Thor moved his hand down to your hip and tapped his fingers against it, turning his head and giving you a conspiratorial wink. You beamed at him before rotating your body slightly, making sure both men’s eyes were on you before uncrossing your legs. Their reactions were everything you wanted, Steve sucking his breath in a hiss and his knuckles turning white around his glass while Bucky growled and bit his bottom lip. You gave them a few seconds to enjoy the view of the glistening treasure between your thighs before crossing your legs again and resting your head against Thor’s shoulder, a look of doe eyed innocence on your face as you ran your fingers over his chest.

“You’re making less because I am providing all of the infrastructure for shipping and distribution here in Miami, whereas all you can offer me in New York is your established client base.” His hand moved up to cup your breast, smirking as he watched the two men start to squirm when his fingers teased at the edge of your neckline that was barely containing you. “Plus I’ll give you boys some introductions to my international connections, since I know you’ve been looking to spread operations overseas.”

“Qu’en penses-tu?” Barnes eyes were still fixated on you as he started chatting with Rogers in French.

“Je n'aime pas ça.” The blonde growled, his eyes moving to your legs as you started rubbing your thighs together. “Nous en avons besoin, cependant.”

“Il est le seul à avoir accès à elle.” Bucky said with a nod, turning to face Steve with reluctance as they talked things over.

You did your best to act like you weren’t listening, giggling when Thor bent his head to run his tongue over the shell of your ear. He grabbed the bottle of Aquavit and refilled your glass for you before pouring himself another vodka, leaning over the back of the couch to give Val a nod. She grinned back at him before turning away to find Sif.

“We can accept giving you 20% of any Miami profits if you cut us in for 5% of shipping revenue from your ports.” Rogers grumbled with a shrug, the two men turning to face you again.

“Hmm, what do you think, love?” Thor gripped your chin lightly and tilted your head up to look in your eyes.

“I think you should stick to the original offer of 25%, babe. They’re hoping to undercut your dealings with Danvers and edge you out once you make an introduction.”

“What the fuck?!” Steve looked furious, reaching into his waistband for his gun before Thor drew his own first and leveled it at his head.

Bucky and you were the only two who seemed relaxed as everyone drew weapons. The three Lieutenants trained theirs on you and Thor while Heimdall pointed his at Barnes. Val and Sif arrived then and dropped the massive duffel they were carrying, Sif pulling a revolver from her thigh holster while Val drew a pair of desert eagles from under her jacket with an excited grin and aimed at the three who had their guns pointed at you.

You and Barnes looked at each other appreciatively, he was giving you a wicked grin as the tension rose quickly, everyone waiting for someone else to do something.

“Let’s all just take a couple deep breaths and relax.” Bucky clapped Steve’s shoulder until he sat back with a grunt, letting go of his grip on the gun. “So, you’re just here to look pretty, doll?”

“Sorry, I didn’t give you my full name, Bucky, we like to keep things low key. Thor?”

“Meet Dr. Y/N Y/L/N, boys, professor of biological and forensic anthropology at the University of Miami. What are your ph.Ds in again, love?”

“You’ve already mentioned two, but we also have antiquities, art history, archaeology, and the big one, linguistics.”

“She’s a bit of a polyglot.” He gave you a proud grin as he tucked his pistol away and everyone else finally eased up. “That’s why she’s in charge of international relations, and she always comes to negotiations with me. Can’t tell you how many bad deals this girl has gotten me out of.” You beamed when he cupped your cheek lovingly and took another swig of vodka. “She also runs the body farm.”

“That’s not just a rumor?” Everyone on the other side of the table was giving you appraising glances now as Steve whistled through his teeth. “That’s supposedly the whole reason the feds haven’t been able to pin any hits on you.”

“Not a rumor.” You kissed his palm before he removed it and turned back to them. “Listen, I like you gentlemen, even though you tried to pull one over on me. It’s understandable, Carol’s operation is a pie everyone wants their fingers in. So, here’s the new offer, I take 30% of Miami profits, you get 7% of anything I move in New York, Y/N here arranges for some international introductions for you, and I arrange for all of us to have a meeting with Miss Danvers.”

“They’re also having issues with Stark’s attempts to expand, baby.” You leaned forward and took Thor’s knife when he offered it, scooping out more coke and arranging it in a couple of lines before rolling a Benjamin and snorting it off the table.

“God, I forgot about that fucker.” He took the bump you offered him with a scowl. “That asshole giving you boys trouble too?”

“Yeah.” Steve and Bucky both looked pissed now. “He poached our Queens wunderkind a month ago and we’re pretty sure he’s got at least one mole planted.”

“Well, seems that a partnership would be extremely beneficial then. Need to keep that cocksucker on the west coast where he belongs.”

“Agreed.” Bucky sighed, Steve just grunting his acquiescence. “Partners then?”

Thor grinned and offered his hand, finally relaxing when Bucky took it and shook. Steve actually smiled a little bit when he gripped his wrist tightly, the muscles in his neck loosening as he rolled his head from side to side with relief.

“Fantastic, let’s celebrate! Evie, we need champagne flutes all around and tell Mark to bring us the box of Cubans I have in the back office.” The waitress wandered off to do as instructed as Sif walked forward and dropped the duffel next to the opposite couch. “And, because I know it can sting when you think you’re gonna get away with something and the rug gets pulled out from under you, here’s a little signing bonus so there’s no hard feelings.”

Rogers actually grinned when he opened the duffel to piles of cash, turning back to the two of as he handed it off to the charming looking man who had been leaning against the pillar.

“I think this is gonna work out just fine, Buck.”

“Evie, thank you sweetheart.” Thor smiled warmly when the server got back with the stemware and cigars, handing her three hundred dollar bills before she walked off again with a blush. “Let’s drink to getting stupid fucking rich.”

You all tossed back your champagne with a chorus of whoops before diving into the revelry. Thor offered you a few puffs of his cigar before tucking between his teeth and leaning forward to talk with his new partners about all the new things Carol was doing. He squeezed your hand when you pressed a kiss to his shoulder before standing up and stretching, moving away to find Val and Sif.

“You ladies wanna come dance with me?” You asked when you found the two of them chatting with the redhead. “That coke’s got me feeling like I’m full of bees.”

“Let’s do it!” Val said with a grin, leading the four of you out of the roped off section and towards the dance floor. “This is Nat by the way.”

“Hi Nat, nice to meet you!” Val started shoving people out of the way when you reached the floor, making sure you had room to move without getting humped by idiots.

“You too! Sorry I pointed a gun at your head!” She gave you an apologetic shrug as she shouted over the music.

“Please, it happens.” You waved her off and started rolling your hips to the rhythm.

“I got shots!” Sif said, grabbing the four tiny glasses off the tray and proffering them.

You hissed at her after you tossed it back. “Goddamn it Sif, tequila?”

“Yes, tequila!!”

You just shook your head as the four of you started dancing, the rest of the crowd giving you a small circle of space. Even with the extra room, Val and Nat were right against each other, their hips rolling together while they stared each other down. Sif and you just grinned at each other as you watched the two of them.

“Oh my god, just fuck already!” You teased when Nat tucked her face into Val’s neck, earning a glare from her. “There’s no one in the basement office tonight.”

“Unlike you, I don’t have the luxury of getting fucked when I’m in the middle of working, I have to save that shit for my own time. Speaking of which, looks like he wants you back.”

Heimdall gave the four of you a smile when he walked up, cocking his head and tapping his finger against his thigh impatiently as you moved slowly to follow after him with a half hearted pout.

“Sorry, Y/N. You know how he gets once he closes a deal.” He walked behind you back to the VIP section, staring down a few different men who looked like they were thinking of approaching you.

“I know, Heimdall. It’s one of the things I love about him. How much coke has he had?”

“Kjære!!” Thor’s voice boomed over the din of the club when he spotted you, answering your question when he stood on the couch and spread his arms wide with joy.

“Kjæreste!” You beamed at him, yelping when he jumped off the couch and bounded towards you to toss you over his shoulder and carry you back to where his new partners were waiting.

He dropped you on the couch with a small huff before curling over and devouring your mouth with his. Your breath left with him when he pulled away, sinking next to you before pulling your legs over his lap with a happy sound.

“Can’t have a celebration without you love.” He grinned, bending over the table and scooping a good helping of cocaine onto his knife. “These boys got all sad after you left.”

“It’s true, doll.” Bucky said, his eyes blown wide from the drugs while he watched Thor rub some coke over your gums before reaching forward to kiss you again. “You might be the most interesting person here.”

Your light laugh turned into a moan when you felt the cool steel of Thor’s knife drag over your chest slowly, leaving a thin line of powder over the curve of your breast.

“I am pretty fascinating.” You teased, biting your lip when Thor bent forward and snorted the coke off your tit. “Did you have any questions you wanted to ask me?”

“Shit, I did but I can’t remember exactly what they were right now.” He was mesmerized as he watched Thor run another line over the opposite breast. “Steve?”

“I’ve got nothing.” Rogers tugged on the collar of his shirt when Thor uncrossed your legs and drew a line on the inside of your thigh before bending over and inhaling it slowly, moaning when the scent of you filled his lungs and added to his high.

“Fuck, that’s the best way to do lines.” He hissed as he sat back up, sniffling a few times before turning to the men who couldn’t stop staring at you. “You boys really ought to try it.”

A deep laugh rumbled his chest when all three of your heads snapped to him. Thor was extremely possessive, he loved using you to tease whoever he was dealing with, dangling you in front of them like bait before snapping you away and fucking you senseless. There was a meeting three months ago where some idiot put a hand on your leg and Thor had almost beat him to death before Heimdall and Val could pull him off.

You ran your tongue over your bottom lip nervously as you studied his face, trying to determine if he was playing some dangerous game with all of you that was going to end with you stitching someone up.

“I smelled you love.” He purred in your ear, drawing you to your feet and turning you until you were facing the two men, his breath fanning warmly over your neck as he pressed his chest to your back. “I’d love to believe that’s all for me, but you’ve been squirming ever since you set eyes on them.” You moaned when he started walking you towards where Barnes and Rogers were eyeing you hungrily. “But tell me you don’t want it and we can stop.”

“Fuck, you spoil me.” You grinned at him over your shoulder and accepted his soft kiss before moving to sit on the mirrored table. “Go ahead boys.”

Bucky leaned forward first with a deep growl, flipping his knife through his fingers before digging it into the cocaine and moving back to your chest. Your eyes turned to Steve’s as you gasped at the feel of the cold blade dragging over your breasts, grinning when you saw him start to palm his cock through his slacks. A low moan escaped your lips when Bucky leaned forward and inhaled the powder off your skin, his lips ghosting over the swell of your tits before he pulled back with a groan.

“You gotta try that Stevie.” He muttered, leaning back to scoop up more cocaine as his free hand brushed over your thigh, teasing the hem of your skirt up towards your hip as he spread your legs wide.

Steve stood up and prowled towards you as Bucky knelt between your thighs and started drawing lines over them with his blade. Your breath was starting to get shallow, and when Steve curled his hand lightly around your throat at the same time Bucky’s face skimmed over your leg you let out a whine. The blonde slid his jacket off and grabbed his own knife, his thumb tracing the swell of your bottom lip as he collected some powder.

Bucky had run out of blow but kept his face where it was, his lips pressing into your soft skin as he moaned at the smell of you. Steve moved very slowly, his thumb tracing your jaw while he pressed the flat of the knife against your chest.

The throbbing between your legs was starting to get too intense, and when Buck’s breath fanned over your core at the same time Steve pressed his face to your chest, you almost passed out. Steve let out a low moan as he buried his face between your tits, nuzzling them with a growl while you wound your fingers through his hair. He started drawing the zipper at the front of your dress down even further, his lips ghosting over every inch of exposed skin before the dress was completely undone.

”Fuck me.” Steve hissed, stepping back and taking you in with a satisfied hum. “You seeing this Barnes?”

Bucky rested his chin on your thigh for a beat, gazing up at you through his lashes and grinning as his eyes raked over your naked body.

”Yeah I see it. You’re a lucky man, Odinson.”

You turned your gaze over your shoulder and found Thor grinning at you, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he squeezed the outline of his cock through his slacks.

”That I am, but so are you boys. This is a one night only deal, and only because she wants it, otherwise I’d have killed the two of you hours ago.” The gleam in his eye was full of danger for a moment before it relaxed into lust. “You get to fuck her however she wants; eat her out, fuck her tits, feel those perfect lips or that tight ass wrapped around your cocks. But that pussy is mine, and if either of you even try to slip it into that pretty little hole, I can’t be held responsible for what I might do.”

”That seems fair to me,” Bucky said with a shrug. “Stevie?”

As soon as Thor had stopped talking Steve’s mouth was on yours, his teeth tugging on your lips until you opened up for him and he could curl his tongue against your own. Barnes just laughed before diving between your thighs, his arms wrapping around your legs as he mouthed hungrily at your sex. You whined into Rogers’ mouth when Bucky’s tongue found your clit at the same time Steve started rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, feeling his grin when you arched into his palms.

The way the two of them were working you over made you think this wasn’t their first time sharing. Every time Steve found one of your zones, Bucky’s tongue was right against your clit, making you want to scream. Steve’s hands were almost lazy in the way they traced your tattoo, the pads of his fingers still skimming over your nipples as he admired the artwork.

”Jesus Christ.” Was the only thing you could think of to say when Bucky’s nose rubbed against your clit at the same time he curled his tongue inside you.

”Not exactly, gorgeous.” Steve’s grin was wicked as he continued to trail his fingers over the ink that swirled between your breasts while you leaned against him. “This ink is fucking impressive, you should let me do a piece for you if you’re ever in New York.”

The answer you were about to give died in your throat when Bucky sucked on your clit and you came without warning, a jolt of electricity traveling up your spine as your release soaked his mouth and chin while you swallowed a shriek. He moaned into your cunt at the taste of your cum before leaning back on his heels and grinning at Steve.

”Your turn Stevie. Dunno if it’s the coke or her but I don’t think I’ve ever come from eating pussy before.”

Your eyes bulged when you saw the wet stain over the shrinking tent in his slacks, your chest swelling at the thought that nothing but the taste of you could make a man come undone.

  The two of them shifted to switch positions, the feel of Steve drawing lines on your thighs sending a small jolt of pleasure up your spine. Bucky tilted your head up so he could kiss you, sliding his tongue between your lips and grinning when you whined at the taste of yourself. You felt Steve’s beard scratching your skin when he pressed his face to your thigh and inhaled, growling when he finally got a close look at the plump and swollen prize between your legs.

”I dunno how he can get anything done with you around, doll.” Bucky purred as he started trailing his lips down your throat.

“We’re very good at multitasking.” You gasped, Bucky’s lips wrapping around your nipple at the same time Steve’s tongue ran over your slit in a heavy stripe.

His low chuckle vibrated your chest and made you keen, arching your back into him when he brought his metal hand up to palm your neglected breast. Steve’s tongue was still swirling lazily through your folds, savoring the taste of you while his cock throbbed against the edge of the couch. He shoved two fingers inside you and you choked on a sob when his lips wrapped around your clit.

Bucky’s tongue had raised your nipple to a sensitive peak, the brush of his lips over it sending a jolt through your body that echoed in your core, making you clench around Steve’s fingers with a gasp. The sensations were too much for you and you collapsed back against the table, Bucky following you and moving his face to your other breast while you wrapped your thighs around Steve’s neck.

You tilted your head back to find Thor, your body relaxing as much as it could when your eyes met his. The anger you were worried you would find wasn’t there, just pure desire as he watched the two men take you apart with lust blown pupils. He was still slowly palming his cock through his pants, and you moaned at the sight of his bulge growing larger while he looked at you.

”Are you close, love?” He grinned when you nodded at him, unable to speak as Steve flicked kitten licks against your clit while Bucky sucked on your nipple. “You go ahead and come for these boys one more time then I’ll fuck you like you deserve.”

It was like his permission was all you needed, your back arching off the table when your body spasmed and your release flowed into Steve’s mouth and over his beard. He and Bucky both groaned as they watched you come down, the occasional aftershock vibrating through your body as they stepped away with reluctance.

“Gentlemen, I look forward to a long a fruitful partnership. Please feel free to use of the lounge for the rest of the night.” Thor only had eyes for you as you slowly rose from the table on shaky legs and drew your dress closed to cover your nakedness. “Would really love to stay but I have some business to attend to in the top office.”

You felt their eyes following you as Thor wrapped his arm around your waist and started to guide you towards the office, Heimdall walking in front of you to clear the crowd out of the way. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and gave you a knowing grin as Thor started dragging you to the office.

Thor growled once he shoved you inside, slamming the door closed and cutting off the noise from the floor once you were alone in the soundproofed room.

“You did so fucking good baby.” He purred as he stepped into you, his hands roaming all over your body while he started walking you towards the wall of glass that looked out over the club. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, you’d get fucked over a whole lot.” You teased, running your tongue over his bottom lip when he pressed his mouth to yours with a moan.

He chuckled against your lips, keeping your mouth molded to his while he turned the front of your body to press against the glass.

“Those two fuckers got one taste of you and I bet they’ll do anything you ask now.” He scraped his teeth over the curve of your neck towards you shoulder, slowly removing his suit jacket and shirt quickly. “They still watching, love?”

You found the lounge and grinned when you saw the two New Yorkers staring up at you from the floor, fighting the urge to give them a wave.

“Yeah, they are.” HIs hand curled lightly around your throat and you whined as he tilted your head back and started to drag the zipper of your dress down slowly. 

“Good.” He slid your dress off your shoulders and tossed it aside, rubbing his face in your hair as he worked at undoing his belt one handed. “Want them to watch you scream when you come all over my cock.”

He gave you no warning before spearing into you, grinning when you let out a satisfying shriek. You didn’t get a chance to adjust before he was thrusting into you violently, his hips slapping against your ass as he pressed your tits against the glass.

This was different from your slow afternoon lovemaking where he took his time drawing every drop of pleasure from your fucked out body. All he wanted when he was coked up after a deal was to take you fast like a damn animal, claiming you as his for everyone to see.

Fuck if you didn’t love every second of it.

Your legs started to shake as your pussy clenched around him, moaning when he wrapped a hand around your front to dig into your breast, his other hand increasing the pressure on your throat. He growled into your shoulder when you arched into his hand, pressing you even further into the glass while you whined.

“Close, I’m so close. I’m gonna come, don’t fucking stop.” He grinned at your babbling, somehow increasing his pace even more until you were literally bouncing off the glass. 

When he released your breast and hooked his hand under your knee, drawing it up to your waist and opening you up even further so the tip of his cock could kiss your cervix, you lost it. You let out an inhuman wail, tears streaming down your cheeks while your body tried to curl back on itself. He caught you before you collapsed, holding you up while you vibrated around him, your pussy milking his cock in waves as stars exploded behind your eyes.

You felt his cock throbbing inside you and hissed when he sank his teeth into your shoulder, warmth blooming from your core as he coated your satiny walls with thick ropes of spend. He fucked it into with stuttering jabs, his hips jerking erratically until his cock stopped twitching and started to soften. 

The two of you panted against each other, Thor scooping you up and turning you to face him as he slid out of you with a soft wet squelch. You hummed happily when he pressed his lips against yours and nipped at them softly. 

“Herregud, du er jævla perfekt, kjære ” He groaned, holding you close as the two of you sank to the floor. “Jeg lar deg aldri gå, du er min.“

“Jeg er din for alltid.” You murmured as he laid back against the floor, pressing your lips to the tattooed wreath of blåveis and bergfrue over his heart that marked him as yours. “Jeg elsker deg.”

Steve and Bucky turned their attention back to the lounge with reluctance, doing their best to ignore Sam and Clint’s shit eating grins. Rogers took another bump of coke before sinking into the couch and chugging directly from the bottle of bourbon. Barnes just grabbed another stogie, biting the end off and spitting it away before tucking it between his lips.

“Think we may need to get ourselves one of those, Stevie.”

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[theyanderespecialist]

My Angel 2 (Scenarios: Meeting Her) Stolas And Blitzo And Striker (Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss) (Yandere)

[Hello My Sexy Readers I am back with a new chapter and this one is the part two with new yanderes with Marie as Angel Dust Stolas, Blitzo, and Striker Enjoy!]

(Stolas) (Offer)

(Stolas pov)

I sat down in the club as the lights dimmed as a spider web light pattern shone brightly as I smiled. The only reason is ever step onto Valentino's property is for the woman preforming..Angel~

She had a beautiful voice and the most flexible body, though tonight she was singing as someone from the crowd grabbed her as she stopped the show early as the man was dragged out as I see her going to leave.

"Oh Miss Dust. I wanted to ask- are you alright from earlier? That horrible man grabbed you rather hard." I said as she stopped. "You don't gotta pretend to care bud." "But I do. No one should be grabbed like that against their will especially not when they are providing a service and working."

She looks up at me shocked. And I start to fret over her as she broke down and fell into me sobbing so I was the only one who cared and so nice.

(she had a hard week okay)

"hey now you're okay come on we'll go to a restaurant, one that's public so you'll feel safe." It was clear she didn't feel appreciated with what she does.

(timeskip)

"like it's like I'm only a body bit like I'm hot- I know I'm fucking sexy as god damn hell bit I'm a person." She sobbed eating from her sundae

I nodded. "Very true." I say watching her my heart ache for her. "I know how that feels..they want our money and our bodies."

"Exactly! Just I don't got much money."

"My dear, I would like to hire your services off the book not for sex. But just for stuff like this company. And since it is not sex you will be able to keep the money." I say

(cough cough sugar daddy XD)

(XD)

"eh eh eh I don't do sex okay? I don't. The most I've done is a handy okay? I don't want these fuckers diseases anywhere near me. ...but sure why not?" She asked as I gave a hoot as she smiled softly at that.

(Blitzo) (Drinking Buddy)

(Blitzo's POV)

I was in the bar after a shitty week at loo loo world and I was pissed and worn out. Then a equally worn out demon, spider demon at that sat next to me ordering a peach cocktail.

I looked over at her as I didn't know what to say, but she was pretty, and had a banging body.

"Uh hey there.....sugar....boobs I don't know- what do the kids say now to get people's attention." I said stumbling over my words as she looked at me, blinked, and then laughed.

"Sugar-boobs oh god! Oh that's- oh hon I don't know what kids say now a days...but I know I can say you're a handsome little imp." She purred as she she sat closer to me, I could feel the fluff from her chest tickling my arms

I blushed and got fluster. She smiles and orders us a drinks.

"You had a hard week like me, lets get drunk and bitch about it handsome~" She purrs.

"I like the sound of that- you paying right?" I say and She laughed again as she was getting on my lap and holding the drink up to my mouth.

"I'll pay baby~" she said smirking as she pulled out a pill and popped it into her drink.

"PCP babe?" She asked.

"Uh well normally my dad part would tell you not to do drugs.."

"aw that's sweet...but what about that other part?"

"The other parts saying fuck yea--" I was cut off as she put the pill in her mouth, and kissed me, pushing the pill into my mouth with her tongue.

I take it back with her and we pull away from each other as we let the pills take affect. Man I felt great. We drank and bitched and had a great time. We bitched about our bosses and coworkers mainly.

"So this bitch starts to steal all the clients who do NOT want to have sex even though she is fine with having sex for money!" She says. "Making it harder for me to make ends meat! And don't get me started on how Val reacts late pay!"

"I know! What's up with that shit? They act like they ain't got no money!"

"I know! Bitch ass..wanna go throw some drinks at some assholes?"

"Do I ever hoe!" She gave a laugh.

(Strikers pov) (personal body guard)

"Look this girl- she's important okay? She earns a lotta money- and I don't even gotta tell the simps they can's fuck her. They want that shit-- but they settle for what SHE gives. It's an amazing talent. But there are the occasional assholes. And I don't like them touching what's mine." Val said to me as the door opened as a beautiful spider demoness came in.

"Hey I uh stopped by to get coffee- thought I'd get you something val." She said smiling as she handed it to him as he gushed practically.

"I didn't even tell you to-- you're too good to me angel cakes- which is why I'm getting you your own body guard."

"Oh Daddy you do not have to do that." she says and then she turns to me and I felt my tail rattle at the sight of her she was beautiful.

And I think she felt the same as I see her face go red and I see Val-- is that a normal smile? Can't tell the fucker always has a smirk but I don't know.

"Hi I'm Angel dust you can call me Angel." "Striker pleasure miss."

She blushed more and I swore we were having a moment.

"Marie this is your Body Guard, he use to be my play thing but then I use him as my killer." He says reminding me I had to fuck my way to where I was. "He will keep you safe at all times.

"........" I see her looking right at me, not at my body but my face as I swore I saw her eye turn to a heart before she smiled and hugged Val.

"Thank you daddy-- Hey Striker check out my dressing room." She said as we left as she sighed. "I gotta shower after touching him." She said before smiling at me showing that her happiness around him was an act, one she only let go after a certain distance.

"Hey there cowboy- I don't want you to think I'm sexualizing you like I know val must have- but you're very handsome." I felt my tail flick at that.

"Well thank you ma'am I've been told I'm not bad for an imp."

"Oh no- I'm not talking about whatever race you are don't matter- you're the most handsome person I've seen."

(They hit it off about as good as Blitzo man her and imps man they get each other)

(XD She is good with Imps XD)

My tail Rattle and she wink.

"We can continue this later, Got ta shower handsome, feel free to watch~"

I watched her leave and I followed very eager to watch.

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter done, I hope you all enjoyed and stay sexy all of my friends]

[gambling-bartender]

The joke doesn't land, not for Husk at least who looks on at Angel with a mix of horror and guilt. He had an idea of how fucked up the shit with Val was getting with how Angel had been looking when he had been coming home and the waterboarding comment had been concerning but hearing Angel talk about the more gruesome details made it all real rather than abstract.

"I- " he started, but he didn't know what to say, what he could say.

He wanted to say that he would kill the fucker. He wanted to tell Angel that he didn't have to worry about it. He wanted to have any of the goddamn power he used to when he could have done something, anything about Angel's situation.

But he didn't have that power. He was just as powerless as Angel, only able to watch from the sidelines as Val treated him like a particularly rough child played with their toys.

"I'm sorry." He says finally, extending a hand for Angel to take if he wants to.

A heavy sigh heaves his shoulders. It was still pretty new, all that honesty stuff, some of it easier to talk about than the rest. Honestly? He doesn’t know how okay he is. In truth he’d still been reeling over the whole waterboarding shit. His lungs still had that weight, a tight dread inside.

“I dunno. I been dealin’ with more snuff shit pilin’ up. I just… I know it’s gonna fuck me over. It gets rough. And then he starts gettin’ nitpicky about takes or my figure.” The soft assuring look he’d crafted has since disappeared, lips turned down.

“I’ll be in shit for causin’ more trouble in public. But. Hey. Maybe we’ll actually get you that convincing interrogation scene.” A bitter laugh sounds out, he never was the greatest with feelings. A joke or two helps him keep from choking up over those things.

[tobesobri]

Nervous

the one where Y/N might be insane but Harry is definitely a shy nervous idiot. (~7k) 

thank you @ anon for requesting this! I tried to do it justice, but I’ve honestly never written Harry this way so 😬hopefully it’s decent. Apart from this being probably the only request i’ve ever done, this is also my first piece of one-off writing i’ve posted in a long time, so I do really hope yall enjoy it as much as I do! Thank you to @fromyourstrulyh​ @aileenacoustic​ & @smokeinherperfume​ for beta reading and just generally being incredible ❤️As always, your feedback, thoughts or just a reblog are super appreciated!!

The busy conversation could not overpower the way the sun felt on Y/N’s skin. Sometimes it burned a little too hot, but other times it felt just right and she found herself basking in it, ignoring all her friends a few times too many. She knew if they were any further inland from the beach, the hot L.A. sun would be completely unbearable, but the breeze that swooshed through the courtyard every so often was enough to make the weather practically perfect. 

She no longer regretted going for one of her summer dresses that had straps and a shorter hemline. Her other options had been one with sleeves or a midi skirt, but either of those would have left her boiling, even if she only had her bathing suit on underneath. The last thing she needed when seeing all her friends again was to be sweating buckets. 

Especially in front of Harry. 

She couldn’t remember when he’d first joined their ever-growing group, but she wasn’t going to complain about it. He was nice to look at, which was just about all she ever did because he wasn't a man of many words. All of their conversations burnt out within a couple minutes. She never had any idea what to say to him because frankly, he intimidated her. All of her friends had various connections to Hollywood, but he was most definitely the most famous person she knew. So knowing what to even say to Harry was a whole other obstacle than just simply being acquainted with him.

But she did like to look at him whenever she could get away with it. Particularly when he was chatting with someone else and she obsessed over the way his dimples went in and out of his cheeks every time he smiled. If she wasn’t staring at his face and admiring the freckles or how green his eyes were in the sun, she shamelessly watched his hands. Whether it was while he articulated them in conversation, or while he picked up his sandwich to take another bite, she couldn’t take her eyes away from them.

She wanted nothing more than for him to just have a normal fucking conversation with her like he did with everyone else.

“Hey.” Mel nudged her elbow into Y/N’s side, forcing her eyes away from Harry for the first time in the past three minutes. “Do you want to share a slice of chocolate cake?”

And for the first time since they’d sat down, something other than Harry piqued her interest. With enough sparkle in her eyes to blind someone, Y/N nodded eagerly. “That shouldn’t even be a question.”

Mel shrugged and looked over the dessert menu again to pick out the right slice of chocolate cake between a plain one, one filled with fudge in the middle, and one packed with triple chocolate--whatever that meant. 

Trev, who sat beside Harry and right across from Y/N, folded his arms and leaned onto the table, “So Mel, how’s it going with that guy, uh… Alan?”

Mel rolled her eyes but kept them glued to her options of chocolate cakes, “It’s Adam.”

“Does it matter?”

Y/N bit back a smile and sat against her seat, waiting for the typical show between Trev and Mel where he let his jealousy spew out like boiling hot lava and made fun of whatever dude she was seeing all because he was too up his own ass to just ask her out. It was entertaining for the whole table, though, and especially for Y/N.

It was then, in the heat of Mel’s insults about Trev’s own miserable love life, that Y/N and Harry shared a glance, and only a glance because it was so quick, she thought she was imagining things. Just the familiar green of his irises burned into her eyelids was enough to know it wasn’t her mind playing tricks on her. She’d been snickering at the two in front of her when she blinked over at him, possibly because he had already been looking at her. As soon as she did, however, within less than a second he’d looked away. She would take it, and the way it made her entire insides feel like they were being electrocuted, and run with it though. He’d looked at her for the first time all afternoon and she just might gain the courage to try and talk to him again. If he would let her of course. 

She thought about their last conversation and how it seemed like centuries ago, but also may have been the reason he hadn’t said a word to her today yet. A smaller portion of their group had gone to LACMA on an off day so it wasn’t as busy. She tried to talk to him about the Diego Rivera painting he’d been standing in front of which he had humorously mistaken for Frida Kahlo. Looking back on it though, she cringed at the way she’d laughed at his mistake because he probably didn’t find it all that funny. He had still laughed right along with her, as his cheeks reddened with embarrassment and he tried to find a quick escape to avoid interacting with her again on their museum trip--which he had done, successfully. 

He knew Diego Rivera from Frida Kahlo, though, he wasn’t stupid, but whenever she was around and he had to communicate with her, he turned into a big dumb pile of mush who wouldn’t be able to tell his left foot from his right. He had never been so fucking nervous around someone in his entire life, and so naturally, he no clue what to make of her.

The bickering between Mel and Trev died down when their waitress returned to take dessert orders as a busboy collected dirty dishes. Although dessert was Y/N’s favorite part of every meal, she found herself pouting at the thought of their afternoon passing by a lot quicker than she expected it to. 

The topic of discussion shifted once the sweets all arrived and suddenly they were all going on about Tiger King conspiracies that Y/N knew jack shit about, but still listened intently as if she did. She asked a dumb question every once in a while, which made everyone at the table groan in frustration. Eventually, though, they got onto more topics she didn’t understand the references to so she gave up. 

Instead, she found herself eyeing Harry’s sampler of various cookies, particularly his painted fingers as he broke off pieces and popped them in his mouth. He had had black nail polish on at some point, but most of it had chipped off by now. The rings he usually wore to excess had dwindled down to just one on his middle finger. She missed them, even though she was sure his poor hands were in desperate need of a break from all the jewelry. His tattoos were on full display now, soaking up all the sun they could after being under long sleeve sweaters all winter. The black ink stood out against his slightly tanned skin, and especially against the red, floral print flowy button up he wore. She felt like it’d been ages since she saw him in something so casual, but they were all headed to the beach soon after all.

“Do you want some?” When she heard his voice, her eyes shot up to his face, realizing she’d been caught. Realizing he was looking at her and speaking to her because she’d been staring at his fucking hands not the cookies.

Since she couldn’t let him know about that, she nodded, “Uh sure.”

She felt even worse about taking a half of a chocolate chip cookie from him when he reached across the table and his poor, beautiful hand collided with her half-full cocktail glass that instantly dumped all over the table. It caught everyone’s attention when the glass broke and quickly Y/N and Trev grabbed napkins to soak up the liquid before it reached their laps while Val saved their plates. 

Harry hid his face in his hands after placing the half of a cookie down on his plate again, utterly embarrassed by himself. “I’m so sorry,” He mumbled between his fingers after dragging his hands down his face dramatically to see the mess he’d made.

“Literally the clumsiest fucker I know, you know that?” Trev said while sopping up the rest of her drink and discarding the used napkins on an empty plate. Val called over their waitress once she was close enough to help deal with the broken glass.

“Can I buy you another one?” Harry asked, his cheeks flushed red when she looked at him again and it was definitely not from the sun. He looked embarrassed and apologetic and she was positive he felt stupid because she knew she would in his place, but it made her sad that he thought any of that when it was just a silly mistake.

Harry definitely would not have minded sinking into oblivion right there and then.

“No it’s alright, wasn’t that good of a drink anyways.” She shrugged, easing his nerves just a tad, but he still felt horrible.

“I’ll pay for that one then.” He concluded, not giving her a chance to shoot him down this time, however. And when the checks came long after Harry’s incident that gave him plenty of time to recover, she didn’t have much say in it either when he snatched up her check before the waitress could even hand it to her.

Y/N could easily pay for herself, but if Harry insisted she wasn’t going to argue. It was his way of feeling better about the situation and she’d leave it be, even if it did bug her that he said he’d pay for her drink, not her entire bill. She kept her mouth shut, however, and just gave him a mean look so at least he knew she wasn’t happy about it, even if she had no intentions to stop him.

She escaped to the restroom while everyone wrapped up, knowing she’d have to go the second she got near the ocean later and she did not want to use the disgusting public bathrooms at the beach. They were always full of sand, salty water, and smelled ten times fishier than normal.

Her confidence was at an all time high when she looked in the mirror, wondering if it had been the sun or Harry to do it to her, but either way it really didn’t matter. She felt like she was on a cloud and like nothing could touch her or bring her back down.

Except, of course, when she walked back out to reality and realized everyone had already made their ways to the Malibu coastline. Sighing, she pulled her phone from her little crossbody bag and walked towards the main entrance. Before she got too far into her Uber app, she glanced up at a familiar shade of bright red floral print standing near the doors and instantly floated back up to the clouds. 

“Did everyone leave?” She asked once she walked up to Harry. He held onto a cardboard box of leftovers in one hand and his keys in the other. His sunglasses, that were previously perched on the neck of his shirt, had made their way to the top of his head, pushing his hair back from his face.

He nodded. “I, um… I didn’t know if you had a ride, or...?” He stumbled and she wasn’t sure why, but it was cute nonetheless, especially since she initially had the impression that Harry would be a little more self-assured than he was turning out to be. That was what she liked best about him though, that he tripped over his words and confused artists and spilled drinks. 

She held up her phone in her hands and smiled, “I’m getting an Uber.”

He furrowed his brows, but she didn’t notice when she resumed picking out the cheapest option on the app to take her down PCH as she maneuvered around him and stepped back out into the warm summer afternoon.

He followed quickly, nearly tripping over himself and then cleared his throat, “Well, um, I’ve got a car.”

She paused, glancing at him over her shoulder while she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What kind of car?” 

He had no clue why she’d asked him that, but given the little smirk on her lips, he had an inkling that if he didn’t have the right kind of car, she’d prefer to stick with her Uber options. What he was positive about, however, was that he’d never liked her more than he did right there in the parking lot as she planned on roasting his choice of transportation.

“Uhm...” He glanced around the lot until he found his car and then pointed it out, “that one.” 

Her eyes fell to a bright yellow, convertible 1972 Ferrari Dino and she tried her best to not let him see the way her jaw practically hit the asphalt beneath their flip flops. Instead, she swallowed, stood up straight, faced him, and put her phone away.

“That will do.”

The surface streets were quiet, even though she’d forced him to put the top down while they drove. They were boring, too. She wanted to throw her hands up and feel the air between her fingers and flowing through her hair. Instead, they were stuck at every single red light imaginable on the short trip it took to get to the highway.

“How long have you had this car?” She asked once they’d stopped again, making herself at home in his passenger seat as she rested her elbow up on the door where the window would normally be if she hadn’t rolled it down the second he started the engine.

“Mm,” He thought, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger while his other hand clung tightly to the top of the steering wheel, enough so that she could see the whites of his knuckles. Was he nervous? Did he not like to drive with the top down? Or did he just not like to drive with her constantly staring at him?

“Couple years probably,” he answered finally while adjusting the radio to turn some music on and she took that as her cue to leave him alone. Maybe he was nervous because he liked to focus on the road while driving and not on her silly questions. 

They got up to about twenty-miles-an-hour now while he flipped through stations, his eyes bouncing between the console and the road. He tuned the radio until she wrapped her hand around his forearm.

“Sorry, I just,” she let go of him after he gave her a look, one that she couldn’t quite read. He could have been mad at her for touching him for all she knew. “I really like this song.”

He moved both hands to the steering wheel as he sat back into his seat. He’d never heard the song before, but if she liked it then he’d leave it on. They drove for a bit longer until he heard her softly singing along and glanced over at her. He’d only meant to look for less than a second, but when she met his gaze, he got a little too distracted. 

Her eyes darted out the windshield and her sudden, “Harry!” caused him to slam on the breaks, luckily just seconds before he managed to rear-end a Honda Civic. He was positive his hunk of metal would have done quite some damage.

“Shit,” he muttered, running his hand through his hair to shift it back into place as his heart raced a million miles.

Then, of course, it was racing for other reasons when he heard her giggling from beside him and once he was done freaking out, he joined in. He was such a fucking idiot but it apparently had made her laugh, so… silver lining?

Once they were on the highway, he no longer felt as tense. The wind from the ocean beside them blew his hair in every direction as he got up to the speed of traffic and she watched his hands as they shifted gears. She let her eyes, and her mind, wander while staring at his tattooless arm and the way the muscles flexed under his skin. It gave her that dangerous self-confidence all over again. 

He heard her seatbelt click and immediately shot his eyes over to see what the actual fuck she was doing taking it off while he was going over sixty miles an hour. An all new reason to be anxious filled his entire nervous system as he watched her, through various quick glances, standing up in his passenger seat with no care in the world about flying out. As if he hadn’t already nearly caused an accident, here she was trusting him enough not to do it again.

Her skirt flew up in the breeze but she didn’t really care too much about that either, and neither did Harry. When she finally managed to peel her hands off the windshield, she threw them up and shouted at the top of her lungs, forcing nothing but a huge cheesy grin onto Harry’s face even though he wanted to pull over and kick her out for doing what she was doing and nearly giving him an aneurism.

She sat back down within seconds though, and his blood pressure settled at a more normal pace when she had her seatbelt secured around herself again.

“Wouldn’t have offered you a ride had I know you were going to do that!” He shouted over the sound of the wind.

“I’m in a Ferrari on PCH, you should have expected it!”

He shook his head at her as he glanced over his shoulder to switch lanes and make his off-ramp. She was fucking nuts. And he was a fucking idiot.

They sat in the parking lot together for a moment, staring out at the ocean, after he put the top up, closed the windows, and cut the engine. She was still coming down off of whatever high possessed her to stand up mid-freeway and he was trying not to act like a complete fool being alone with her again where it was quiet and they weren’t moving anymore. 

“How come we never talk much?” She asked him before either of them could even think about getting out of the car and joining their friends down on the sand.

He stared straight ahead at the waves for a moment as he thought about why they weren’t as close as he wished they were and that it might be his fault. He just never knew what to say to her to not completely embarrass himself. Within the past hour, it was clear he still hadn’t figured it out.

He sighed, “Probably because you stand up in cars and make me nervous.” He didn’t realize, however, how his words would be twisted until she did so.

“Oh, so we don’t talk because I make you nervous?” She teased with a smirk but she clearly had no idea how right she was about that. Or maybe she did have some idea about it. 

Either way, he tensed up realizing he had, yet again, said some dumb shit and went and embarrassed himself again.

“I’m kidding,” she assured when he remained quiet, “I just think we should talk more.” She fidgeted with the hem of her dress and it most definitely did not go unnoticed by Harry. “Then maybe one day you’ll let me drive your Ferrari and you can stand up.”

The breeze dropped several degrees as they walked through the sand to their friends, who were already set up with a few chairs and an ice chest full of wine coolers. It was a nice relief from the burning afternoon sun, but Y/N still regretted not packing a sweater.

As they walked together, someone made a whistling sound at them as if suggesting something had happened with her and Harry between the time it took them to get from the restaurant to the beach. It made him uneasy when everyone looked at them like they were amidst a walk of shame, and even more so when he glanced down at her to his side to see she was also slightly uncomfortable. 

“What took you two so long?” Trev asked the second she and Harry reached their little set up. Everyone was already either taking their clothes off to run into the ocean, or securing their spots in the warm sand, nursing a bottle or two of alcohol.

Y/N squared her shoulders, “Harry almost caused an accident.” 

His head whipped towards her so fast, he was sure he pulled a muscle in his neck. It was one thing for her to know about his dumbassery, but everyone else didn’t have to be in on it too. 

A couple of their friends giggled, making Harry scratch at the back of his neck nervously, shaking out his curls and hoping they didn’t all think he was the biggest imbecile alive for not knowing how to drive a car like that. Especially since he did know how to drive, his brain just didn't function the way it was supposed to when Y/N was around. 

“Or maybe,” Trev leaned in suggestively glancing between the both of them before settling his eyes on Y/N, “Harry finally won you over with his Ferrari.”

She scrunched her face, trying to figure out what the fuck Trev meant by finally? Harry never tried winning her over at any point in the past. Hell, before today she had been afraid that he hated her, wondering tirelessly what she did to get on Harry Styles’ bad side. 

When she glanced at Harry, she was relieved to find that he seemed just about as confused as she was. So it was just Trev being a slimy asshole as per usual.

She rolled her eyes and shoved Trev’s shoulder as she walked past him, eliciting an overly dramatic response as he held his shoulder like a ginormous baby and called her a bitch under his breath.

Both Harry and Trev watched as she lifted her dress over her head, tossed it and her purse into a chair full of other people’s clothes, and flashed Trev her middle finger while she glanced over her shoulder at him. Before she ran off to the water, however, her eyes found Harry just in time to see the way his eyes flickered back up to her face. She smiled knowingly at him just before taking off, hoping his gaze would find its way to her backside again as she did so.

And frankly, her bathing suit didn’t leave too much to the imagination. It was all held together with strings that could come undone with just a single tug from Harry’s hands. Her bottoms were definitely cheeky and her top… Harry should not be looking.

But he was, he constantly found his eyes gravitating towards her as he sat beside Trev on land while she played in the water with the others. He also found his fists clenching whenever one of the other guys in their group got a little too close. He should also not be jealous. 

“You know,” Trev began, sitting back against his seat and resting his wine cooler on his knee, “we all know you’re infatuated with her…” Harry turned to look at Trev like he was insane, “except for her of course. Probably because you act like an idiot around her and she thinks there’s something seriously wrong with you.”

Harry really couldn’t disagree. He did act like he only had a handful of brain cells sometimes, but in his defense, he didn’t do it on purpose. He had no clue why he couldn’t operate properly whenever she was around. No one had ever done that to him, not a single person he ever found remotely attractive turned him into a helpless ball of nerves the way she did.

Sighing, Harry stared out at the horizon through his tinted sunglasses and mumbled grumpily. “Maybe a little bit.”

“Knew you were too good to be true,” Trev teased, assuming Harry was referring to there being something seriously wrong with him rather than being maybe a little bit infatuated with her.

Harry shook his head with an exasperated smile on his lips, “You’re a cunt.”

“Listen man,” Trev sat forward again, taking a swig of his drink, “She’s fucking insane sometimes, but if you like her…” He shrugged.

“How insane is she, exactly?” Harry asked, although he already had an inkling given her earlier actions in his car. 

Trev snorted out a laugh, “Not like that. She’s just like… I don’t know. Does crazy shit. She was the first one to jump off this huge ass cliff when we went diving a few summers ago.” Trev reminisced fondly before laughing again when he recalled something else Y/N had done. “She got drunk off her ass at New Years and did a handstand in the middle of Gasolina.”

Although Harry didn’t know what Gasolina was, he still imagined how fucking hilarious that party must’ve been. She was the good kind of crazy, he assumed, not the kind that might chop off his fingers in his sleep.

“Besides, all she does is work and hang out with her dog.” Trev added, leaving Harry to wonder profusely about what kind of dog she had. He considered a dachshund at first, but maybe a chihuahua was more her speed. 

“Anyways,” Trev sighed, settling into his seat again, “I just think you should stop acting like a twelve-year old and ask her out if you like her.”

Harry’s brows furrowed again, “Maybe you should take your own advice.”

He watched as Trev’s eyes landed right on Mel, who had her arms around Y/N’s shoulders as they descended further into the ocean, and he sighed even deeper this time. “That’s way more complicated than the two of you.”

He never would have offered her a ride, no matter how much he liked her, when she’d first came up from the water and threw her dress back on. She was a wet, hot mess for a long while until they all packed up after they watched the sun set and it started getting dark. There was no way he was leaving her there to wait for an Uber by herself, however, once they’d gotten everything packed up into the back of Trev’s Jeep. 

Not that she was pulling her phone out to scroll through the app or asking anyone else for a ride. 

So, she wound up in his passenger seat again, staring at the sky as it mixed through various shades of peaches and purples until it turned a dark blue color and the stars started coming out as he drove. They listened to some oldies station while heading north on PCH and she never stopped looking at how beautiful the world was around her, especially the part of the world that sat right next to her as he drove silently with his sunglasses on top of his head again. He was cute when he focused, she thought.

When he reached her driveway, she really didn’t want him to leave yet. She’d even considered taking him the long way to her house and hoping he wouldn’t notice just to spend more time with him. She stared up at the stars still while they sat idly in her front yard until she looked over at Harry with a smile and he met her eyes curiously.

“Do you wanna meet my dog?”

She shivered as she closed the door behind Harry, locking it before returning her attention back to him. Seeing him planted into the familiar backdrop of her house felt weird, but it also swelled her stomach with a million butterflies.

“I’m gonna change real quick. The living room’s through there,” she pointed and he followed, “you can make yourself at home.”

While she disappeared up the stairs, he wandered hesitantly, removing his shoes before he walked onto the carpet in her living room. He sat down in the corner of her loveseat, taking in all the surroundings. Her house was nice and he thought about what she did for a living, trying to remember if it had ever come up in conversations before. He didn’t get too far lost in his thoughts and his wandering eyes when there was a sudden bang on the back door behind him followed quickly by loud and incessant barking.

When he looked out the windows that faced her backyard he realized she did not, in fact, have a dachshund or a chihuahua. She had a fucking pitbull.

Possibly even more fitting, and slightly less scarier than the chihuahua. 

“Sorry,” she ran in the living room just then, in a pair of lounge shorts and a loose-fitting long sleeve, and went straight to the back door, “I promise Patrick’s not as mean as he sounds.”

“Patrick like… from Spongebob?” Harry asked as she unlocked the back door to let him in.

She grinned like Harry was the first one to automatically get the reference without her having to explain it, “He was a little bit dumb as a puppy.” She shrugged and opened the door and the tan-colored pitbull ran straight towards Harry, jumping on the couch and into his lap like they were already the best of friends.

Patrick got about ten licks to Harry’s poor face before Y/N got a hand in between and tried pulling the stubborn dog away. She apologized again and even though Harry assured her that it was okay, he still seemed highly uncomfortable. When she moved, hoping Patrick would stop molesting Harry with his tongue, she’d been horribly wrong and he went back in for more and Harry was far too polite to do anything about it himself besides making feeble attempts at pushing Patrick away awkwardly.

So, instead, she ran around the couch and pulled him off of Harry, squeezing herself between him and her dog. While Harry wiped off his face, she turned toward him once Patrick had settled down, “I swear he’s trained, he just… forgets boundaries sometimes.” She said the last bit through her teeth, directed specifically at Patrick while petting the dog on the head. He just continued to stare past her at Harry, panting and wagging his tail.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Harry assured her again. He really didn’t mind. Maybe a little, but it wasn’t the end of the world to have too much attention from a dog. Especially if it was her dog. 

It was quiet for a moment before she perked up like she’d just remembered something, “Oh, do you want something to drink? I forgot to ask before.”

Harry didn’t really want her to leave just yet, but on the other hand, he desperately wanted her to. He could feel the nervous sweat on his forehead and his clammy hands and he just needed a moment to collect himself. So he nodded, “Sure,” and she bounced back up onto her feet and left him alone with Patrick.

While Harry had successfully wiped the sweat from his face on the back of his shirt and his hands on his jeans--and cupped said hand over his mouth to check his breath-- Patrick scooted right up to Harry’s side, curled into a ball, and rested his head on Harry’s lap. Which was the exact sight Y/N returned to moments later with a couple glasses of water in her hands.

“Guess he likes you, then.” She laughed lightly while handing one of the glasses to Harry and sat down on the other side of Patrick. It was a gap bigger than the one between them previously, but Harry was okay with that. Maybe he’d stop sweating so profusely from just being in her presence. 

They were quiet again, but not for too long that it ever got awkward. Harry was sure, at this point, that Y/N was a professional at avoiding awkward silences with the way she said the most random shit right out of the blue. 

“Do you like stand up?”

He looked at her like he had no clue what the fuck she was talking about, but in hindsight he should have known. In the moment, though, when she caught him off-guard, he literally could not fathom in his brain what she meant by stand up. So he just shrugged and mumbled, “I guess?”

She didn’t seem to notice his enormous brain fart when she reached forward to grab the remote from the coffee table a little too excitedly. And once she turned on Netflix and searched for John Mulaney, it clicked in his head. Maybe Trev had been right. Harry might just have something slightly wrong with him.

He’d never personally seen any of Mulaney’s stand up, but he’d heard the name and when Y/N mumbled that he was one of her favorite comedians, that’s all he needed to know about the guy. Harry would sit through hours of his stand up if it meant spending more time with her.

John Mulaney had already gotten a few giggles out of Harry within the first five minutes of The Comeback Kid and every single time it happened, Y/N glanced at him proudly as if she were the one telling the jokes and making Harry laugh.

She felt even more full of herself when John’s punchline about exes came seven minutes in and Harry nearly laughed his entire ass off at, ‘Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.’

Actually, she was certain he’d done some damage to his body when Harry laughed so hard that he held a hand to his stomach, doubled over on the couch and choked on his own spit. She tried not to laugh at his reaction as she sat forward and grabbed his glass of water off the coffee table to hand it to him.

Her movements caused Patrick to get up and jump off of the couch, settling for a cool spot on the hardwood floors to stretch out on as he panted. Harry sipped on his water until he could breathe properly again.

“It’s okay,” she reassured him, “the dick jokes get me every time too.” Although she intended for it to make him feel better, his cheeks just burned twice as hot from the way she said dick so nonchalantly. 

“Are there more dick jokes then?” He asked.

“There’s always more dick jokes to be made.” She confirmed, making him chuckle again. “So you’ll stay and laugh at them with me?”

He wasn’t sure at what point she’d gotten so close to him on the couch, but when she laughed and he felt her shoulder shake against his own, he quickly tensed up. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her closer, he just didn’t want to act like a complete fool again. And his reaction to just her touching his shoulder was enough to tell him foolery was on the horizon. 

He also wasn’t sure when it became a given that he was staying to watch all of the John Mulaney specials on Netflix with her, but he wasn’t complaining. As long as he got to hear her laugh and imitate some of the jokes and weird voices John did, he was happy staying exactly where he was all night and, in fact, when she announced they’d burned through all of them, he was disappointed. 

Even more so when she flipped the TV off and he wondered how much longer until she planned on saying goodbye and then who knows how long until they’d see each other again. 

It was quiet, apart from Patrick’s snores, but not for long. 

“I’m sorry I stood up in your car and made you nervous.”

He turned and met her eyes and she was very clearly not sorry about it, but he didn’t want her to be either. “S’alright.”

They stared at each other for a moment while he thought about what else she was going to say, if anything at all. But he should have known better than to assume she didn’t have anything else up her sleeve.

It was just that the next time she spoke there wasn’t the perpetual cute little grin on her face. Instead, she met him with a frown. “To be honest, Harry, I kinda thought you hated me before today.”

He scrunched his face, absolutely detesting that she ever thought that at all. “I don’t hate you.” He said it like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.

She tilted her head to the side while she looked at him and then gave him a reason why it wasn’t that ridiculous of an assumption on her part. “Then why do you always avoid me?”

He felt bad about the way he acted around her, especially since she had the wrong impression about it. He didn’t avoid her, he just didn’t know how to talk to her when he always acted like a neanderthal around her.

Sighing, he shuffled a bit in his seat as the anxious sweats really made themselves known. “You were right when you said we don’t talk because you make me nervous.”

She grew more confused by that, “You’re literally Harry Styles, how do I make you nervous?”

He shrugged, “Been trying to figure it out myself.”

Although he’d been avoiding her gaze like the plague, sure that he’d never be admitting any of this to her while looking right into her eyes, she still smiled sweetly at him. He was Harry fucking Styles, who got up on a stage more times than she could imagine and sang in front of thousands of people, but she made him nervous.

She took him off guard again. “Are you seeing anyone right now, Harry?”

His eyes quickly panned to her, wide and puzzled by her question. “No… wh--”

She didn’t give him a chance to finish after she’d gotten the only answer she wanted out of him and suddenly she was a lot closer than she’d ever been. In fact, there was no longer a single gap between them as she reached her hand up to his jaw and pulled his mouth down onto hers. Even though he didn’t know how to react at first, feeling her on his lips, his brain swelled with all the good kinds of chemical reactions and he kissed her back, wiping his hand on his jeans again before he touched it to the side of her face, cupping her cheek in his palm softly.

Normally, he’d be the one making the first move, but he didn’t really mind it being the other way around with her. Who knows if they ever would have gotten to this point if they’d waited for him to make the first move, after all. 

He definitely didn’t mind it when she swiped her tongue across his lower lip and positioned herself into his lap. His head had fallen back into the cushions while she straddled him and got a little too carried away, but, again, he didn’t mind it. He fed off of her energy until he was slipping hesitant hands down her waist and on her backside, making her moan into his mouth that both felt and sounded like heaven. 

Heaven. He was in heaven and this completely bizarre angel was in his lap, making out with him on her couch and rubbing herself all up on him in ways that were so very unheavenly.

Neither of their dopamine infused brains registered the sound of Patrick’s collar when it was vastly more important to focus on the way she giggled around his mouth and how his tongue felt swirling around with hers. 

However, when he jumped up on the couch beside them and began licking Y/N’s face, she snapped back to reality for a moment. Pulling away from Harry with a whine, she sat back on his knees and wiped the slobber with the back of her hand while she stared over at Patrick.

“Can I help you?”

Patrick did some whining of his own while he dug his paw towards her, begging for attention. So she gave it to him, petting his head and scratching his ears while Harry watched, still very aware of his hands on her hips and her free hand leaning on his shoulder.

“Crazy dog,” she muttered mostly to herself while Patrick laid down next to them.

“Like his owner,” Harry teased, mostly just to bring her attention back to him.

It worked too as she pinged her eyes back to Harry as fast as humanly possible and faked offense, “You think I’m crazy?”

“You asked me to meet your dog and then somehow hooked me into staying for three hours to watch John Mulaney specials and then completely out of nowhere… ended up here.” He nodded his head down at their current positioning with her still perched on his lap.

It took her a moment, but she fully realized what she had done soon enough. And once she did, she was quick to apologize. “Shit, Harry, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to--”

Before she managed to get much further away from him in failed attempts of removing her foolish self from his lap, he grabbed hold of her wrists and brought her hands up to either side of his head, pulling her as close as she’d been before with just an inch or so gap between their lips this time.

“I think that’s why you make me nervous,” He admitted softly and after glancing between both her wary eyes, his gaze landed on her lips just moments before he stretched upwards to meet them with his again. 

They fell back into place completely, except this time, she’d gone as far as to undo all the buttons on his shirt while she made out with him on her couch. Once it was open and she had full range of his chest, she pulled away from him again and watched his body rise and fall quickly as he caught his breath. She traced her fingertips over his butterfly tattoo, and like magic formed a few of them in his stomach while he watched her through heavy eyelids. 

When their eyes met again, she smiled excitedly. “Does this mean I can drive your car now?”

[thearvariblues]

The Power of a Bard’s Love

Geralt opens the door and sneaks into their shared room in an inn, expecting Jaskier to be fast asleep. It’s the middle of the night, after all. To be honest, he desperately wants Jaskier to be fast asleep. He doesn’t have the energy to explain… certain things to him.

Which, of course, means that the second he closes the door, he hears the rustle of a blanket and sees Jaskier sit up in the darkness.

“Oh, thank fuck,” the bard mutters. “I was getting really afraid. Where the hell have you been so long? You said it was an easy contract!”

“I thought it would be,” Geralt sighs, letting his sword fall from his shoulder. “Wasn’t.”

“Damn. What happened?” Jaskier asks as Geralt starts undressing. “Are you injured?”

“No. Just…” Geralt bites his lower lip.

“Just what?” Jaskier says and Geralt can almost hear him frown. “Geralt. Talk.”

“Cursed,” Geralt murmurs.

“Excuse me? You know, some of us don’t have supernaturally good hearing, could you say it a little louder?”

“I’m cursed, damn you!” Geralt growls.

“Oh. I mean… Wait, what? How? What’s happening to you? How do we break it?”

“We don’t. It’s…” Geralt sits down on the bed and closes his eyes. His limbs feel heavy, so heavy that he doesn’t even know if he’ll ever be able to stand back up.

He feels Jaskier’s hand on the small of his back and relaxes into the touch.

“Talk to me, Geralt, please.”

“I have one year to find and kiss my one true love,” Geralt chuckles.

“Your… What? What if you don’t?”

“Jaskier.”

“Geralt.”

The bard starts to remove his armor and Geralt sighs, glad that he doesn’t have to do it himself. He never thought he’d trust another person enough to let them undress him, and yet, here he is, melting into his friend’s familiar touch.

“I die,” he whispers after a while. “If I don’t find my true love, I die.”

“Mhm,” Jaskier hums. “You have any idea where she is?”

“She?” Geralt blinks.

“Yennefer, of course. Let’s face it, there is no way she isn’t your only one. She’s probably not gonna forgive you as easily as I did, I mean, after the whole mountain incident, but I suppose you could convince her to give you a single kiss, at least. A kiss can’t hurt, right?”

“You’re babbling, Jaskier.”

“Am I? I’m so sorry, but you just told me you’re about to die if we don’t find your angry ex as soon as possible–”

“In a year. We have time. Calm down. Please. You’re making me nervous.”

“I’m just trying to–”

“I know. But we can come up with a plan tomorrow. I don’t want to think about it today. I want to sleep.”

“Right,” Jaskier nodded. “But don’t you think you can run away from this like you run away from everything. You can’t.”

“Yes, Jaskier. I know.”

*

It takes them precisely two weeks and five days to find Yennefer. It’s actually Jaskier who finds her, and Geralt doesn’t have any idea how he did it. Even if the Witcher tried, he couldn’t find her so fast.

But here they were, standing at her doorstep in a town so small Geralt didn’t even bother to remember its name.

Jaskier takes the lead before Geralt can open his mouth, explains the whole situation to the momentarily stunned mage and basically ushers the two of them together into the bedroom before either of them manages to say a single word of protest.

“Hm,” Geralt hums as the key turns in the keyhole from the outside.

“Was this your idea? Or his?” Yennefer asks with a slight incline of her head towards the door.

“I know you’re not my true love,” Geralt shrugs.

“Why not stop him then?”

“I’d rather try stopping an avalanche,” he smirks and sits on the bed. “Besides, can’t hurt to try.”

“And you think that after everything you’ve done, I’m just gonna let you fuck me?” she asks, lifting an eyebrow.

“Jaskier thinks that all I need to do is apologize. Honestly, I think it’s bullshit, but…”

“Well,” she says and crosses her arms. “It can’t hurt to try.”

*

“It’s not that I don’t love you,” Geralt murmurs sleepily as they lay naked on the bed together. “I do. It’s just…”

“True love requires free will,” Yennefer nods. “And I think we’ll be much better off as friends who occasionally like to fuck.”

“Could you check? Just in case.”

She reaches out, touches his temple and shuts her eyes briefly.

“Cursed. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. To be honest, it’s nice to have a notice this long. Much better than to die in some monster’s claws during a hunt gone wrong.”

“You’re not planning on trying to find… the one?”

“No,” Geralt sighs. “Don’t tell Jaskier, though. I’ll tell him that it worked. That I’m saved.”

“Only to drop dead in a year’s time? You know I don’t particularly like the bard, but he doesn’t deserve this.”

“He won’t be with me when I… He won’t be with me.”

“It’s not fair, Geralt.”

“Yeah. Life isn’t exactly fair, Yen. I thought you knew.”

*

It seems to Geralt that time flies much faster now that he knows he only has limited amount of it. The curse thing happened in spring, and before Geralt knows, it’s nearly winter and he’s on his way to Kaer Morhen. He was tempted to invite Jaskier to spend the winter with him, but the bard would immediately know something was wrong – and that’s the last thing Geralt wants.

He arrives last, greets his brothers…

He’s not planning on telling them the truth, but things rarely go according to his plans. And so he blurts it out one evening and Lambert nearly chokes on his cheap vodka.

“You’re gonna what?!” he wheezes.

Geralt shrugs.

“What are you doing here, then?” Eskel frowns. “You should be searching for that… true love.”

“Searching?” Lambert snorts. “The fucker doesn’t need to search, he just needs to grow some balls and fuck his true love into oblivion!”

“It’s not Yennefer,” Geralt murmurs. “I’ve tried that.”

“No shit. We both know it’s that bard of yours.”

“It’s not,” Geralt says, taking the bottle of vodka from Lambert’s hand. “He doesn’t love me back. He never will.”

“Has he told you that?” Eskel asks.

“Didn’t need to. Witchers don’t get to love. And if we do, we are never loved back. It’s just how things are.”

“That’s utter bullshit, dear Geralt,” Lambert chuckles. “Aiden and I–”

“Who?” Geralt blinks. “Who the fuck is Aiden?”

“Oh,” Lambert mutters, stealing the bottle back. “Shit.”

*

“And of course it lifted the curse. Of fucking course!” Jaskier mumbles drunkenly, resting his chin on his hand.

The dark-haired woman sitting opposite him nods solemnly and orders more drinks.

“Weird,” she murmurs. “I could have sworn you were his true love.”

“Bollocks. Pure bollocks,” Jaskier sighs. “He’s mine, but I’m not his.”

“That’s not how this works, though.”

“And what do you know about true love, Valdo?”

“Enough to know… Thank you, dear,” she smiles at the barmaid and winks. Jaskier groans.

“Could you not flirt with every woman you meet?!”

“Better than you flirting with every person you meet, human or not.”

“True love, Valdo. Speak.”

“The thing is,” Valdo says, tilting her head, “that true love is recep… reco… Fuck. He must always love you back. Ergo, if the curse was lifted by him sleeping with the mage, he is not your true love. And if he is, then you are his, and then the curse wasn’t lifted.”

“Hmm,” Jaskier hums.

“Hmm? My dear, are you turning into that Witcher of yours?” Valdo laughs.

“No,” Jaskier sighs, downing his drink. “Ugh. Just thinking where the hell am I going to find another true love.”

“Oh, dear,” Val says and shakes her head. “Well, I know where I am going to find my true love for tonight. If you’ll excuse me…”

“Sure, sure!” Jaskier shouts when Valdo rises to her feet, not even waiting for his answer. “Please leave me. I love drinking alone! Oh, shit, what did I do to deserve such horrible friends…”

*

The winter without Jaskier seemed to drag on forever. Geralt missed his bard – missed him more than he would ever had thought.

That’s why, when the spring comes, he finds himself on his way to their usual meeting spot, even though during winter he promised himself time and time again that he wouldn’t, that he would just take some other route and never see his bard again.

He will, inevitably, die in a few weeks, he tells himself even as he passes the first houses of a tiny town where Jaskier is undoubtedly already waiting. He should just turn Roach around and leave. Spare Jaskier’s feelings. The bard will hate him for not coming, of course. But perhaps… Perhaps it won’t hurt as much when he hears about Geralt’s death, then.

And Geralt, of course, won’t have to explain to him why he lied about being cured.

The dilemma is solved within a few seconds when Geralt sees the bard himself running towards him at high speed, his lute case and his bag swinging on his shoulder, his hair ruffled and his doublet and chemise undone.

He beams when he sees Geralt, comes to a stop by his side and thrusts the bag and the lute case into the Witcher’s hand.

“Oh, Geralt, thank the gods,” he mutters, already scrambling up behind the Witcher. “We need to leave. Right now. Don’t ask any questions.”

Just then, Geralt sees several armed men heading towards them, shouting.

“Let me guess,” he chuckles. “The mayor’s daughter?”

“And his son,” Jaskier says, takes his bags back and wraps his arms around Geralt’s torso. “Nice to see you, by the way.”

“Hm,” Geralt smiles as he turns Roach around. “Nice to see you too, bard.”

*

It takes Geralt a few days, but in the end, he does tell Jaskier the truth. He does it because he finds the alternative – quietly sneaking away to die while the bard’s asleep – unbearable.

Jaskier… Doesn’t take it well. There is a lot of yelling involved. And a lot of swearing. Geralt doesn’t even try to keep count of how many times the word ‘idiot’ is used. It’s… well, a lot.

“How much time do we have left, then?” Jaskier asks when he finally calms down.

“Thirty-seven days,” Geralt sighs. “On the final day, I have until the sun sets.”

“Okay,” Jaskier nods. “I want to go to the coast.”

“The coast? But… why?”

“You don’t need to know. You owe me, Geralt. For all the lies. So we’re going.”

Geralt just nods. He knows Jaskier is right.

And if this is the very last thing the Witcher can do for him… then so be it.

*

Just as it did last year, the time flies when Geralt’s with Jaskier. The bard is mad at him, Geralt knows, but he never lets it show. He does his best to make Geralt’s final weeks as good as possible – and he succeeds. They travel together, laugh together, and, when they finally reach the coast, they even live together, in a tiny house Jaskier buys with all the money he earned during the winter.

It’s good. It’s great. And way, way too soon… it’s over.

Before the Witcher knows, his final day has arrived.

They are sitting on a cliff, side by side, and the sun is just beginning to set over the sea.

“Perhaps…” Jaskier whispers. “Perhaps you’re wrong. Perhaps the curse is already broken.”

“It isn’t,” Geralt mutters, staring at the sun. “I can feel it. It’s like… the sand in an hourglass. I can feel it running out.”

The sky is bright red. It would have been beautiful – if it didn’t herald the very last moments of the Witcher’s life.

“You’re just… so stupid,” Jaskier says, clearly frustrated. “You should have said something. We could have…”

“What? Fucked our way through all the brothels of the Continent in search of someone who would be willing to love me back?” Geralt smirks. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want that.”

“We could have tried!” Jaskier groans.

“I just wanted everything to be… normal. You. Me. The Path. Monsters. You singing in taverns. Running away from cuckolded husbands. And wives,” he chuckles. “I wanted to spend my last year with you.”

Jaskier sighs, tears his eyes away from the sunset and looks at Geralt instead.

“Are you scared?” he asks.

“Not scared,” Geralt says. “But I wish I had more time.”

“If it helps, I also wish you had more time.”

Geralt turns his head and his eyes meet Jaskier’s.

“I know,” he whispers.

“Why did you say no when I…” Jaskier takes a deep breath and his eyes flit to Geralt’s lips. “When I said we could go to the town and find you a whore you could fuck before you drop dead? Surely it would have been much more pleasant than sitting here with me and counting the seconds you have left.”

“I…” Geralt says, almost inaudibly. From the corner of his eyes, he sees the sun’s almost down. “I don’t want some random whore. I want you. Always you.”

He hears the words leave his mouth but he doesn’t regret what he said, even as he sees Jaskier’s eyes go wide and hears the bard’s breath hitch in his throat. He is already almost dead. He won’t have to deal with Jaskier’s inevitable rejection.

And then he feels Jaskier’s lips press against his in a passionate kiss. Geralt moans, wraps his arm around Jaskier’s waist and kisses him back, just as passionately.

His heart is beating faster than it has been in years, perhaps decades. He can feel his own hands trembling.

Oh, yes, he thinks as he is being lowered to the ground until his back touch the grass and Jaskier is all over him. This is it. This is how I want to die.

The moment stretches on and on, as if time itself decided to slow down so Geralt could truly enjoy the thing he’s been waiting for… well, since he met the bard all those years ago, probably.

But then Jaskier pulls away, way, way too soon, and he stares at Geralt with his eyes wide, breathing heavily, before he turns his head towards the horizon.

The very, very dark horizon.

“Geralt,” he whispers. “The sun is down.”

It takes a few seconds before Geralt fully registers his words.

The sun is down, there is no doubt about it. The sun is down. He is alive. The horrible feeling of sand in his hourglass running out is… gone.

The curse is lifted. He’s sure of it.

And there is only one explanation.

“Oh,” he says then. “Oh, fuck. Lambert will never let me hear the end of this.”

Jaskier buries his face in his shoulder and groans.

“Tell me about it. Valdo Marx is gonna write a play about us. And her plays are horrible, Geralt!”

“Fantastic,” says a woman’s voice behind them. “I can’t wait to see it.”

They both turn their heads towards the owner of the voice. A little magical light flares up, but neither of the men needs it. They’d know her anywhere.

“Yen,” Geralt murmurs. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you were supposed to be dead already,” the mage smiles. “I came to give the bard some moral support. And help him bury your body.”

“That’s… nice?” Geralt frowns.

“I was going to dump your stupid ass into the sea,” she shrugs.

“Not very nice,” Jaskier remarks. “But I would have helped.”

“Hey!” Geralt frowns. “I’m right here, you know? Alive.”

Jaskier, who’s still lying on top of the Witcher, looks down into a pair of yellow eyes and smiles. “Don’t worry, love. I’m aware. But you lied to me about the curse being lifted. No nice funerals for naughty Witchers.”

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t have mourned?”

“I would have, of course. Right after kicking your lifeless body down from the cliff.”

“Oh, Jaskier,” Yennefer laughs. “I’m starting to like you more and more.”

“And I’m starting to like this whole situation less and less,” Geralt growls. “Yen, as you can see, I’m alive, Jaskier doesn’t need any moral support, so could you just, you know… Leave? Because I’ve got a bard to fuck.”

“If you think he’s going to let you be on top,” she smirks, already opening a portal, “I believe you will find that you are sorely mistaken.”

“Correct,” Jaskier giggles, pressing his lips against Geralt’s throat.

“See?” Yennefer smiles. “Enjoy your night, Geralt. And see you around. Both of you.”

“Wait! What do you mean–“ Geralt starts, but the portal is already closing behind the mage.

And when Geralt feels Jaskier’s teeth gently dig into the skin just above his collarbone, he can’t bring himself to care about anything else.

*

A red-haired Witcher is sitting on the wall of Kaer Morhen, staring at the snow-covered trail below him. He has been sitting like this for quite a few hours, much to the dismay of another Witcher – a slim, blond and extremely bored one.

“Lambs,” the blond sighs. “I hate to tell you, but I don’t think he’s coming.”

“Shut up, Aiden,” Lambert murmurs. “And don’t fucking call me Lambs.”

“Sorry, honey.”

Lambert only hums, which means he absolutely isn’t listening – ha hates being called honey even more than being called Lambs.

Aiden looks down at the courtyard and stays quiet. There are times when trying to talk to Lambert is useless – and this is one of them. All he needs to do is wait until the ginger starts talking himself.

Which he does, a little while later.

“If he’s alive, he’s coming,” he says quietly. “The snow came early this year, but I’m sure he’s gonna get here somehow.”

“Is that why Vesemir’s nowhere to be found and Eskel has been trying to drink himself into oblivion ever since the morning?”

“They don’t think he’s alive. I do,” Lambert shrugs.

“You heard what people say. A Witcher and a bard went to the coast and never came back.”

“Yeah, but nobody said one of them died there,” Lambert growls.

“That doesn’t make sense, love.”

“I know. But he’s my brother. I’m not trying to make sense, I just… hope.”

“Right. Of course,” Aiden nods. Lambert is still staring at the path towards Kaer Morhen, but nothing is moving there.

Aiden bites his lower lip, looks back at the courtyard… And blinks.

“Uhm… Lambs?” he says.

“What did I just say?!” Lambert growls.

“Lamby,” Aiden says, a little more urgently.

“Don’t even fucking think about it.”

“Melitele’s tits,” Aiden smirks. “Should I just call you Your Royal Majesty or something?”

“Lambert is enough, you know.”

“Fine. Lambert,” Aiden says, rolling his eyes.

“What?” Lambert asks.

“You said your brother had white hair, right?”

“Yeah. Something about mutations gone wrong.”

“And he had a mage and a bard?”

“A bard traveled with him and he slept with a mage, right.”

“Black clothes?”

“Why are you asking all those questions?”

Aiden shrugs, still looking down at the courtyard.

“And it seems that he really, really hates portals?” the blond grins.

Lambert’s eyes go wide as he moves closer to Aiden to take a look.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me…”

*

The first thing Geralt does when he stumbles through the portal is checking that he still owns two legs. Then two hands. One neck. One head.

He knows he probably wouldn’t be checking anything if he didn’t have a head, but that doesn’t stop him.

“You forgot your cock,” Jaskier’s highly amused voice says. “You see, I’m fine with you being one-legged, but cockless? Never.”

“Don’t worry, bard, I took extra care to bring his cock along,” Yennefer replies. “It would truly be a terrible shame to lose it.”

“You think you’re so amusing, don’t you?” Geralt sighs before he drops to his knees and kisses the ground. “But I’m safe. Thank Melitele, I’m fucking safe.”

“And they say I am dramatic,” Jaskier says. “And you should be thanking Yen, not Melitele.”

“Fuck off, bard!” Geralt growls.

“So grumpy,” Jaskier snorts. “It’s not my fault that the winter came a bit early this year, is it?”

Geralt raises his head to glower at his lover.

“And who felt the need to go to Oxenfurt and brag to Valdo Marx about getting his Witcher? And who then decided to stay for three weeks to see the first showing of her new play The Power of a Bard’s Love?”

“Come on, she managed to write and rehearse it in those three weeks, just for me!”

“It could have been two, if you hadn’t spent a week trying to cast a perfect Geralt.”

“It was Gerard, actually. And the actors she picked simply weren’t able to convey your brooding grumpiness. I had to step in!”

“I agree,” Yennefer smiles. “That Gerard was spot on.”

“I hate you. Both of you.”

“No, you don’t,” she winks. “All right, boys. I will be on my way. Enjoy the winter in a drafty old castle. Geralt, no excessive drinking. Jaskier, do try not to spread your legs for everyone here.”

“Can’t make any promises,” Jaskier shrugs.

“Take care of Roach,” Geralt grunts.

“Of course I will, you idiot,” she rolls her eyes, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll be seeing you in spring.”

Geralt hums as Jaskier steps closer, grins and presses his lips against the mage’s.

“I do hope you’ll stop by during the winter, too,” he murmurs. “We’re gonna miss you.”

“I’m sure you will,” she smiles and opens a portal. “Goodbye, boys.”

She steps in and the portal closes right behind her. Geralt sighs, wraps his arm around Jaskier’s waist a pulls the bard closer.

“Just the two of us, then,” he says. “Welcome to Kaer Morhen, bard. I hope the reality is even worse than you imagined. Please do remember that I told you to stay in Oxenfurt.”

“Without you? Never, love,” Jaskier says, pressing his lips against Geralt’s throat. “It would have been a terribly long winter.”

Just as Geralt is about to reply, they hear a yell from above them that is a perfectly equal mix between angry and delighted.

“You fucking piece of selkiemore shit! Don’t you dare move! I’m coming for you and I’m gonna fucking kill you!”

“That was my brother Lambert,” Geralt notes without even bothering to look up.

“I see,” Jaskier nods. “So it is going to be a long winter…”

[itsmalachitenow]

almond: 🌱, 🎍 nick val: 💐, 🌹 nihil: 🐚, 🌎 mozus, even: 🎋, 🌲

DAMMIT SO MANY OF THEM

ALMOND

🌱: If your FO has a canonical voice, what’s your favorite thing about it? If not (and they’re able to speak), how do you imagine them to sound?

Technically he does? And it's a pretty solid voice! But I always think of Nick Valentine's voice when I look at him, so that's nice too. I like how deep it is--it sounds the way you would expect a noir detective's voice to sound.

🎍:  Are either of you prone to overworking yourselves? If so, how do you work through it as a pair?

OHO, this motherfucker is always overworking himself. He hasn't had a decent lunch in years because there's always a disturbance or trouble and he's the only one who can solve it. He's the type to fall asleep on his desk because he's staying up late to solve a case. I just put a blanket over him and slip his vanilla flask closed and back into his coat. I think the way you can get him to REALLY take time off is to bring his daughter on vacation with us. Then he has to be there for her instead of worry about the city while he's gone.

NICK VALENTINE

💐: Before getting to know each other better, how did you and your FO act toward each other? Were you strangers? Was it tense, or awkward?

It's the same old story...I saved him from a tight spot down in a vault and he repaid me by helping me find my stolen brother. Gotta admit, I was not expecting him to be a Synth! But I was a fish out of water back then and was more surprised than scared of him. I think he felt like he could relate to me, since we're both 'ghosts from the past', so to speak. And it was nice to have someone who knew what I was talking about when I talked about old world stuff...

🌹: How does your FO react to receiving shows of affection?

I think it depends on what kind it is, and intent? I figure plenty of people try to hit on him while he's working--whether to get him to lower his guard or genuinely because they're grateful he helped them. Or they're just robot fuckers. The reactions to those are wary, flattered-yet-kindly-turning-them-down, and baffled/exasperated, respectively. From me, though, I think he gets pretty flustered and says thank you.

NIHIL

🐚:  Which one of you brings the most physical or emotional energy to the relationship? Are there ever times where it’s overwhelming to the other, or are you pretty evenly matched?

I'm chronically fatigued and he's an old man--I think we're on pretty even footing when it comes to physical energy. I get VERY intense with emotions sometimes, and get really invested/wound up in things that I think he wouldn't second guess or worry about. He's gotta remind me to stop trying to read into everything because I'll make myself sick (and have done so before!).

🌎:  What would you and your FO wear to a formal event, and what sort of event is it exactly? If your FO is usually dressed up or in a uniform, what would a casual outfit look like on them?

Well...my papal robes, of course...

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, I think he could rock a t-shirt and khakis, but honestly, I also think he just REALLY likes those robes and that's why he's still wearing them. Depending on if it's an important church dinner or a ritual, though, I'm either in a fancy ballgown with colors to match/complement his, or nothing at all.

MOZUS TREIN

YOU'RE REALLY GONNA OUT ME AS A MOZUSFUCKER ON MAIN??

🎋: What does your FO’s bedroom look like? If their bedroom is ever shown in canon, are there any noticeable differences thanks to you?

I imagine his bedroom looking similar to Lady Tremaine's bedroom from Cinderella, except with more bookcases stuffed to the brim with old tomes on magical history. A desk for writing and studying, perhaps. ...under his bed, he has a box with a few old dolls and toys his daughters outgrew. Sometimes if he's feeling particularly nostalgic, he'll look them over and get misty-eyed.

🌲: What are some small details about your FO that you feel are underappreciated?

THIS MAN IS A FATHER. THIS MAN IS A FATHER. Not only that, this man is a WIDOWER! This man had to shoulder his grief and raised two daughters ON HIS OWN because his wife died!! He loves his daughters very much and says IN CANON that they're his pride and joy, even if they're all grown up now.

[beef-brisket]

Adam, Lucifer, and Angel were standing outside Alastors door. The silent barrier Lucifer put around the room was doing the trick. But Adam could see how uncomfortable Angel was.

Adam: what's wrong, babe?

Angel: just thinking... he was in the same boat as us... people don't sell their soul for nothing, Ad... why did he do it? What did she have over him?

Adam: I don't know... why are you thinking about it?

Angel: he could be a victim. And we're no better than him, now using his weakness...

Lucifer: after everything he's done? Angel, he's hurt people your years!

Angel: I know! fuck- But- Addie! You gave him a chance, right?

Adam: I can't argue with that, I'm glad I got that chance... but, you're seriously feeling sorry for him, bitch?

Angel: couse not! I was just thinking... I've been under the boot for years. And I have no right to take Husks revenge away from him- but look! He has his power back, he's an overlord again. It's full circle. An overlord beating someone weaker than them. This shit has to stop... I wish someone helped me when I was getting... you know... i-i want to stop it. Stop this. Husk... I don't want him hurting Al. Al can't do much to anyone, anymore. So he's weak, like us, Ad. We should stick together not gang up on eachother

Adam: ...fuck... I can't believe you're making me feel sorry for that fucker...

Lucifer: what!? Addie he tried to kill you!

Adam: because of Lilith... he's never done anything physical to me... not until Lilith told him to...

Angel: maybe we should give him a chance, Lu?

Lucifer: a chance?! We're talking about the same person right? Stupid haircut, gross teeth? Dumb ears?

Angel and Adam laugh.

Angel: yeah- same guy

Lucifer: and you want to give that monster a chance!? After what he did- what he's done?!

Adam: you gave me a chance

Lucifer looked heartbroken, but his look became softer as Adam's lower hand reached out and held Lucifers.

Adam: I've hurt a lot of people, babe. And... most of it came from a place of pain... fuck, I think Charlie's rubbing off on me. I was hurting when you and Angel helped me-

Angel: and I was hurting when you two helped me! And now-

Adam: Al's hurting

Angel: and who's going to help him? I think it should be us... i really do. Lu... I know you're king, but being a sinner? Trying to survive down here... you make decisions that probably aren't the best, Val found me when I was desperate, I just fell and my family would have nothing to do with me. I was alone. Who knows what's happening with Bambi. But I think we should give him a chance

Adam: I... fuck, I think so to... sometimes- people are too scared to ask for help

Lucifer looked towards the door. It's been 20 minutes since he left Husk.

Lucifer: fuck...

Moth!Adam having a nightmare! This takes place a few days after arriving in Hell.

@fanofstuff01 MOTH ADAM

---

Charlie: Hey, dad? Could you go get Adam up? He's going to miss out on the group activity!

Lucifer: Honey, if he isn't even going to put I the effort, he shouldn't be here!

Charlie: dad- please, he's only just got here. This is a big change for him. Can you just go wake him?

Lucifer reluctantly agreed and made his way to Adams bedroom. Charlie put him on a floor that had no other members, thinking it would help him get use to things.

Arriving at Adam's door, Lucifer smiled. He decided to take the opportunity to scare Adam. It was almost Halloween, after all.

Lucifer walked softly to the top of Adam's bed. He could see his antennas flicking about. Ljcifer stood by his head for a few minutes, waiting for the perfect opportunity to scare him.

Adam: mm- no, stop... don't leave... please don't leave...

Lucifer chuckled. It must have been some popr winner in Heaven Adam was talking about.

Adam: L-Lu... please stay- pick me, please... don't leave... p-please choose me-

Lucifer stopped laughing and stared at the man. Oh... it was Eden he was having a nightmare about. Shit. He backed away as Adam started to thrash, his wings unfurling.

Lucifer had no idea no idea what to do. The poor guy even started crying. He decided to wake him up. Lucifer couldn't watch Adam cry and grip his blankets. It hurt too much.

Lucifer: Adam... ADAM-!

Lucifer reached over to shake his shoulder but jumped and teleported out of reach of Adam and his wings when Adam suddenly shot up, breathing hard.

Lucifer wasn't too familiar with Moth demons, he only knew of Valentino, and even then, he hadn't had many interactions with him, so he wasn't too sure how good Adams' eye slight was.

Adam: Luci...?

Lucifers eyes widened at the nickname- and the way Adam said it. It reminded him of Eden. Adam sounded so desperate and hopeful. Hopeful that Lucifer was there with him, that his nightmare wasn't true.

Lucifer wasn't sure if he wanted to say anything, he hadn't noticed him yet. That was until he noticed Adam looking around the room, eyes landing on Lucifer.

He felt like he should say something. So he waves and smiles, but just as he's about to say something, he heard Adam choke out a sob and bury his head in his hands, his lower arms wrapped around his thin torso.

Adam: t-thats right... you hate me... why would you be here...?

Lucifers heart broke. He didn't hate Adam. He was an asshole sometimes and a bastard for attacking his daughter, but he didn't hate him. He felt like he should, but he couldn't.

After a few minutes of crying, Adam tried to find his phone. Lucifer could see it on the side table, so he made the phone float in front of his hand. Adam didn't notice the magic, but found his phone. He squinted until his eyes were met with the bright light.

Adam grounded when he saw the time. He was really late now.

Adam: ...fuck it... they don't want me there, anyway... s-should have j-just stayed d-dead

Lucifer stood in the corner of Adam's room for 20 minutes. All he did was hug his pillow and cry. He could tell Adam was tired, but he couldn't fall back asleep.

He never knew how depressed Adam was. But then again, he'd never a good conversation with Adam since he got here. Lucifer really took the opportunity to get as much payback as possible now that he had a contract with him.

He wonders if all of this started when he called him an unlovable piece of shit, that not even the scumiest angels wanted. He knew he overstepped, judging by the look on his face and the lack of response.

For the next week, Lucifer stood in Adams room before he went to sleep and before he woke up. It was always the same: Adam would cry himself to sleep, and he'd have a nightmare about being abandoned and wake up shaking, covered in tears in the morning.

As Lucifer was in his room this night, he was hoping it would be different. Adam was with Angel for most of the day and seemed to be happier. But as soon as Adam sat on the edge of his bed, he knew it wasn't going to be a good night. It was actually about to get a lot worse.

Adam started crying as soon as he closed and locked his door. Fiddling with something in his pocket. Lucifer could see him playing with something as he sat on the edge of the bed.

It wasn't until Adam sat up straight that Lucifer saw it was the angelic needle Nifty originally used to kill him. Where the fuck did he find that!?

Lucifer really didn't plan to get involved when it came to his night watching, but Adam pressed the blade against his scar from the original attack, and start to push in far enough for his dark red blood to start welling up and running down his chest.

Lucifer: NO-!

Lucifer jumped into action. Snapping the blade out of his hands and placing it in Lucifer's hands.

Adam instantly jumped and looked around. Lucifer could see the pain in his big, golden eyes.

Adam: L-Luci-fer... Luci... ?

Lucifer couldn't bring himself to say anything as Adam looked around. He covered his mouth as he felt a tear fall. Adams eyes locked him his. Shit.

Adam: ...please...? Luci?

Lucifer squeezed his eyes shut.

Adam: Not even allowed to finish the job, huh...? I'm just g-giving them what they w-want...

He opened them slowly, and he heard the rustling of Adam's blankets.

That night was worse.

So much worse.

Lucifer has never seen Adam look so small even at his towering height of 11". Adam curled up, hugging a pillow as tightly as he can.

Adam cried to himself all night. He didn't fall asleep at all. Just cried and begged for Lucifer. For it all to end.

Lucifer finally learned how good Adams eye site was. Hed often looked directly at him but saw nothing.

All night, Lucifer just gripped the angelic blade and stood still all night, hoping Adam wouldn't hear his sobbing.

Dude my fucking heart 😭

Adam knew Lucifer was there, he had to be. Blades just don't evaporate out of your fucking hand.

Why couldn't he just let Adam die for good? Lucifer didn't even want him here, nobody did. Sure he started getting along well with Angel but big deal.

Other than height being a moth demon was fucking stupid. He could barely see! He even had to have the largest print enabled on his phone so he could see to use it.

Adam ran out of tears quickly, he was dehydrated from it and he wasn't exactly drinking water to put anything back.

Lucifer never wanted him, so why not just let Adam go? To torture him probably.

Oh look, Adam did still have some tears to cry.

[transmasc-wizard]

genre, tropes, tw, characters, and playlist!

thanks for the ask!! @idkjustgowithitok asked: genre ; tropes ; tw ; characters ; as well, so I'm mentioning him here instead of writing the same thing twice.

(btw I'm doing TW last so i can put it under a cut, bc... dark topics.)

genre ; what's your favorite genre to write? is it the same your favorite genre to read?

fantasy!!! fantasy fantasy fantasy fantasy. It's my favourite to read and write! Dystopian fantasy, epic fantasy, urban fantasy, fantasy that may be more like sci-fi, supernatural thrillers, fantastical mysteries... I want all of it >:3 fantasy is 100% my favourite.

tropes ; what's your favorite trope to write?

Probably found family or enemies-to-friends. I'm simply very very fond of the idea that it's always possible to find someone(s) that care about you.

characters ; is there something you always incorporate into your characters? if so, what is it?

uhhh neurodiversity! It just comes from the way I think; it's really hard for me to write a character that doesn't have some sort of anxiety or autistic traits, because that's how my brain works and I always forget that allistic brains exist.

I also often incorporate some sort of finely selected form of weirdness and or chaos into at least one character per WIP. None of my WIPs have a cast where the characters are entirely or even mostly normal.

Val Saintly? Mack has a cat named Tax Evasion and dresses like this. NT21? Lissa is obsessed with the architecture in alien video games. GFS? Hope is a fallen god who talks to birds and randomly gains omniscience. DaT? Winifred is a princess who shoots people with blaster guns and collects human skulls. Rose Librarians? Charlie is a human library who lives off granola bars. The Other Ones? Astrophel has an unusually intense interest in cryptids and, upon finding himself covered in blood with no memory of what had happened in the past six hours, goes "I should go back in the haunted forest". None of these fuckers are normal.

playlist ; answered here.

tw ; what's the darkest theme covered in one of your wips?

(under the cut will be talk of depression, dehumanization, and wanting to hurt others.)

oh boy. Uh. I don't really want to place some horrible things as worse than the others? But in terms of how much i've written about a theme, I'm gonna go with specifically Rowan's arc across GFS as one of my darkest topics, just bc it spans several books and is deeply looked into.

She struggles with dehumanizing herself due to spending 16+ years being told she's not human. She has severe depression and PTSD from the things in her backstory, and her arc kicks into place when she formulates a plan to brutally murder both her parents. She deals with deep-seated anger issues and an intense want to hurt anyone who's wronged her. She's also a toxic person in general, having been taught that it's OK to manipulate others for her own needs.

Her arc is long, messy, and she's far from perfect by the end of the series, but she's better. It really gets into the dark details about the things she's done, wanted to do, and has had done to her. She's undeniably a victim, but she's also a person who's done very bad things, and I refuse to shy away from either when telling her story.

thanks for the ask and have a nice day!!