#val life’s🍀

[itsmecancelada]

Él visión board de mi 2023🍀

[saltyyuuri]

Sova x reader; Lucky catch pt.3!

🍀lucky catch🍀

part 1 - part 2 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

song: (idk vibed to Bazzi while writing)

no warnings

note: Sorry this is slightly cut short- someone tried to buy 400$ of pizza on my credit card lmao (Rip to whoever frauded my card tho, I had lust loaded it on val skins :) )

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You were currently off somewhere random, as per your usual habit- hiding some place random, earbuds in as you enjoyed music, relaxing on your own, free from any hectic thing going on in protocol. Whenever you wanted a breather, you were no where to be found- something some agents occasionally worried about, but not too much- as usually you were still reachable.

But not today- no today you accidentally had tapped airplane mode on your phone instead of ''do not disturb'', not noticing at all as you were still using wired earbuds and your Spotify playlist was downloaded- so the moment you shut your screen- you were completely un reachable.

Currently, you were perched up on the Headquarters' rooftop, using your vine to just hang off the ledge of the building without any worries. You were enjoying the view, enjoying the warm weather that was still available as summer was pulling to an end. You enjoyed the soft breeze caressing you skin, gently swaying your hair as you took in the view before you.

You were on the side of the building that was facing the hundreds of acres of woodland- able to see the multitude of trees and a few wildlife creatures living their life peacefully- simply going on with their simple life, their existence barely noticed. The sun was starting to set, tinting the sky with pink and orange hues, slowly contrasting the usual blue that would reign through the summer skies. The new colors were also painted onto the clouds, making for a beautiful, relaxing scene to watch, shutting your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as a small, relaxed smile graced your lips. You were soaking up the remaining sun time, the last of the rays warming your skin like a warm embrace.

Unbeknownst to you, just inside the building you were perched on, agents were slowly getting agitated- as always there was the usual daily commotion, one that you were already accustomed too. But this time , there was some extra commotion going on, mainly due to Neon.

Sure, Neon was already know for being quite the ball of energy and quite frankly- she was one of the louder agents. So when she started to zoom around headquarters, looking frankly in every room with a small frown, some agents were wondering what she was looking for. Except, she wasn't looking for something, but rather someone. She had been trying to reach out to you for an hour now- and she wouldn't have been this agitated if it were simply your phone on do not disturb- but since it was on airplane mode- she kept seeing an error when she texted you- saying ''Message recipient has not received the message, please try again.

Her messages weren't reaching your phone- that's what worried her so much. So, word spread fast in headquarters, and soon, quite a few agents were now looking all over the place for you, sending messages of their own to see if they would have any better luck on reaching your phone- but all to no avail. That entire time, you were simply perched on the building, held up comfortably by your vine, which was in a sort of swing to let you relax. The final sun rays were barely peeking above the trees, the summer breeze slowly cooling.

The sky shifted colors, letting the beautiful hues of orang fade to a vivid red for a few moments, mixing in with pink and slowly creeping in violet. And the more seconds that ticked by, the more the sky shifted to pink, purple and a deep, deep violet. within minutes, pitch darkness had taken over, the sky speckled with stars and the moon shining over the lands below. A shiver crept up on you, but you were too cold yet, still comfortable and enjoying the relaxing scenery. You hadn't noticed your 1 hour absence turned to 3- and now there was a whole ass search party inside headquarters, looking for you.

You didn't hear the rooftop's door open, your earbuds still loudly playing music and covering up any outside noise that you should've heard. Instead, you slightly swung your makeshift vine swing as you were star gazing, watching the infinite galaxy above and the beauty it had to offer for the human eye. You loved seeing what nature had to offer, even if it meant out of the planet.

Steps approached your perching spot, stopping near where your vines were gripping onto the ledge, careful to not step on any. You weren't paying attention anyways, and you couldn't hear the person calling your name. To make things harder for the person, you were hanging too low for the to poke you or physically get your attention.

So- the person trying to get your attention decided on a more... Drastic approach. Your eyes were glues onto the view in front of you, relaxed in your vine swing... Only for Sova to semi-land on you, grabbing onto the vines around you as his body dangled off partially. You let out a scream, no expecting him to just do this- Hell why did he do that. He winced, the volume of the scared scream up close was quite loud. You ripped your earbuds out, grabbing on him to pull him up into the vine swing, sitting quite literally smushed together as it was initially for one person.

''Sova what the actual fuck-!?'' You semi yelled, still in a slight panic as your face had a look of concern, looking at him. ''Are you fucking insane??'' You continued- he seemed rather unphased by your questioning, a frow etched onto his face. He understood his actions were-... well, a bit much, but they had been looking for you for over 2 hours already- so in his mind, it was justified.

''No- you couldn't hear me quite literally screaming your name. So I did the next best thing to get your attention.'' He said, his frown still present as he spoke in a firm tone. ''Then call me? text me? Christ-'' You exclaimed, still agitated. ''We all tried, but your phone wasn't receiving the messages. We have been trying to contact you for nearly 3 hours.'' He said, poking the phone on your lap. You picked it up, opening it to confirm nothing came in. You indeed didn't receive anything- only now seeing it was on airplane mode. You let out a small, sheepish chuckle as your turned it off.

''Oops..'' You mumbled out, your phone suddenly being invaded with texts messages by multiple people, a small sigh escaping you. You sent a quick text in the main group chat- too lazy to check every individual message. You did so quickly, pocketing your phone after before turning to Sova once again. ''Still, I swear to god, don't just jump off buildings- wasn't the first time being shoved off enough-?!'' You said to him, this time your turn to scold the blonde male.

''You caught me the first time.'' He replied, shrugging slightly as a small smirk drew onto his face. ''Yea I did, but this time I wasn't paying attention! If you missed your jump, I would have had to witness a human pancake-'' You fussed, swatting his shoulder lightly as you continued to scold him. ''But I didn't, did I?'' ''Sova- don't make me strangle you.''

''In all seriousness though, be careful to not leave your phone on airplane mode again.'' Sova said, a small hum escaping him before he turned his head to look up at the sky, looking into the star speckled sky once more. The view from your perching spot was great- but also cozy. Sure, the vine swing was tight spaced- but it was cozy. ''Lesson learned, I would appreciate not having to go through 'Cloudy with a chance of Sova jumping off the fucking building' again, thank you-'' You mumbled out, readjusting yourself to get a bit more comfortable.

With the additional weight, the swing was pulling onto Sova, and either you tried to sit beside his and be uncomfortably squished against him and the vines, either you moved to sit on him. You sigh, deciding to just sit on his lap, not giving much of a crap about it. He was the one who jumped into you little spot, disturbing your comfort and peace- so he'd have to deal with it. You made yourself comfy on his lap, leaning back on him as if he was a chair, back to star gazing.

''Excuse you-'' He said, cocking a brow as he felt you sit on him and get comfortable. ''For any complaints, please refer to the motherfucker who chose to invade my personal space to begin with.'' You replied firmly, giving him a second to process your words. ''..Fair enough'' Sova said, letting out a small sigh as he slowly relaxed into the vine swing, head angling back up to the sky.

''You know, this is usually the best time of the year to spot shooting stars.'' Sova spoke up, a bit more softly as the atmosphere between you two relaxed, and for once there was no teasing, no taunts- just enjoying the view. ''I know. That's why I'm still up and out here.'' You replied, eyes glued to the sky. The calmer moment, no teasing or taunts- it made you slightly nervous. Usually you could just hide anything too serious behind a mask of mischievousness- but right now, it wasn't possible. This was the first time that the proximity between you both was genuinely affecting you.

You spotted a shooting star, watching it as it rapidly drew through the sky. A small smile appeared on your lips as one by one, shooting stars started to appear in various spots of the sky. You quietly watched as the meteor shower went on above you two, gracing the night sky. None of you broke the silence, surprisingly enough.

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''What do you mean nothing else happened?!'' Neon nearly busted your eardrums as she yelled out besides you, now back in your dorm room and doing your usual gossip with Neon. She was actually waiting in your dorm most of the evening, especially after your moment of disappearance with no contact back. ''So you're telling me, you were literally sitting on his lap, watching the shooting stars like some old romance movie from the 90's- And nothing else happened?'' She said again, agitated as her arms moved with a lot of energy around her.

''What? what, did you want me to just- I don't even know-'' You started, slightly flustered. That in itself was a rare sight, you were rarely flustered or embarrassed- as you usually were a pretty blunt person. ''Kiss him maybe? I mean you already had the damn romantic set-up!'' Neon nearly yelled again, looking frustrated. ''Oh yeah because just randomly kissing him totally isn't weird!'' You replied sarcastically to her, a twinge of annoyance building at her remark.

''But sitting on his lap for like, what, nearly an hour? That isn't weird?'' She shot back- making you pinch the bridge of your nose- both of you were getting agitated and it was only fueling the wrong fire. ''Okay- pause.'' You finally said, raising a hand, collecting your thoughts for a second. ''Let's not focus on my missteps. But on the progress-'' You said, trying to get her off your back on that part. ''Okay, fine. So you two finally had a moment without bickering.'' Neon said with a small hum, but the look on her face looking unphased. ''...Which you two could have more often if you bit your tongue.'' She continued, giving you a knowing look.

''But to be fair- Where's the fun in that?'' You said with a sheepish smile, chuckling slightly. Neon sighed, shaking her head. ''And then you wonder why there's no advancement...'' She said exasperatedly. ''Hey, listen, if he can't handle the bickering, then I don't want him .'' You giggled out, a grin spreading onto your lips. ''(Y-N), He's been dealing with your bickering for a few months now, I think he can manage.'' Neon deadpanned once more, looking unamused.

''...Okay fine- I'll stop being a brat 24-7 then... I'll be a brat 23-6.'' You said with a grin, knowing the response would spite her slightly. ''My off days will be Sunday's!''

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB’s Recommendation List: April PT. 1

Welcome to April’s recommendation list. Below is the link to take you back to March pt 2 featuring Peaky Blinders, Triple Frontier, Frank Castle, Joel Miller, and the works I posted. The goal for April is to write another chapter In This Heart and rewrite The Spark. If you are interested in having your writing challenges featured here, your stories, or even your blog, please feel free to tag me in your works, message me, or use the hashtag MidnightWithDearKatyTSPB. I hope you had a great Easter if you celebrate it!

<< March ‘23 PT. 2 🍀

April ‘23 Pt. 2 🌷 >>

Masterlist

A Different Sort of Man (Moodboard) for @evita-shelby story.

Feel What You Feel (Moodboard + Blurb) >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Holland | "Perhaps this was the day she fell in love with Tommy Shelby."

Happy Birthday Mr. Pascal (Moodboard)

Invisible String (Moodboard) >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Holland | "And isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?"

It's Ok (Moodboard) >> Arthur Shelby x Beth | "It’s okay to be not okay."

Secret Garden (Moodboard) >> Arthur Shelby x Beth | “You saved me, Beth. Perhaps it’s time you allowed me to protect you from whatever demons you allow to darken your beautiful mind.”

Visitor (Moodboard + One-Shot) >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Holland | "You will never be alone, Tommy, because I’m always going to be in your heart..."

BLURBS:

I'd Kill For You by @there-goes-thefighter >> John Shelby x f!reader - Summary: John doesn't take too kindly to someone asking the girl he likes out. | This was so fluffy and cute in a Peaky Blinders sort of way.

March Madness Drabble Challenge 2023: DAY 23 by @acewritesfics >> John Shelby x Wife!Reader - Summary: John cares for his wife and son. | I love reading about John Shelby and his kids.

Obvious by @peakyscillian >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary/Request: 'Giggling about how their friends haven’t found out about them yet even though they’re being so obvious.' | This was very cute. I enjoyed it.

ONE-SHOTS:

Bye Bye Blackbird by @zablife >> Tommy Shelby x F!Reader - Summary: Tommy's love interest from before the war leaves for the excitement of the city, but a chance encounter years later finds her disillusioned with all that sparkles. Can he convince her to come home? | Lee does a wonderful job writing something beautiful and sad simultaneously.

How Much I Love You by @runnning-outof-time >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: (Y/N) takes the opportunity to tell Tommy what she thinks when she finds him still in bed. | Melancholy Tommy to content and in love Tommy, beautiful.

Life is a Cabaret by @notyour-valentine >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Tommy has an iron-clad arrangement with a performer, one of his own making. | Val does such a good job with imagery in this one as well as emotions, leaving you wanting so much more for both Tommy and the reader. Like with most of Val's writing, you don't want to miss this one. It's angsty.

Not Yet by @raincoffeeandfandoms >> Tommy Shelby x Wife!Reader - Summary: One of the most difficult days of his life awaits him. He's ready to kill Mosley, but not yet. He's ready to make him pay for his horrible thoughts and crimes, but not yet. For the moment, he is in bed with his wife. Life at your side, it seems to be easier, and he loves that feeling. | Flor's way with words in this is just breathtakingly beautiful. It's a must-read.

Philopator by @notyour-valentine >> Tommy Shelby & Daughter!Reader - Summary: When Michael presents his offer to Tommy for a restructuring of the company, he mentions his daughter - after all, she is already involved, even if Tommy doesn’t know it yet. | The emotions are so well written in this, and the tears that I shed while reading. It's a must-read.

*Saltwater Tears by @areyenotfondofmelobster >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary/Request: Do you really want me? Or is this your way of getting back at my father? | So much emotion in this one. I felt the big decision weighing down on me. So good.

ONE-SHOTS:

Stormy Night by @jackfrombaskinrobbins >> Matt Murdock x teen!adopted!reader - Summary: Matt comes home banged up when his teenager should be in bed asleep. | I always thought Matt would make a good Uncle/Dad, and this further proves my idea he would.

An Unexpected Delight by @amhrosina >> Poly!Frank Castle x Reader x Matt Murdock - Summary: Frank wants a taste after Matt tells him how perfectly delicious you are. | Amazing and hot.

PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS:

Delicate by @slow-motionlovepotion >> Joel Miller x Reader - Summary: Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you're mine, all the damn time. | It was so scorching and very well written. I loved it.

Learned Something New by @wheresarizona >> Jack Daniels/Agent Whiskey x F!Reader - Summary: Reunion sex with Jack leads to a discovery. | This is just so very hot that I needed a tall glass of cold water to go with it.

Like Real People Do by @tightjeansjavi >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: You, Joel, and Ellie arrive in Jackson for the first time. Joel sees your real smile for the first time in months, all thanks to Jackson’s horses. | This was adorable, and at times Ellie maybe steal the spotlight (in a good way.) I truly did love reading this fluffy piece.

Long Long Night by @toxic-seduction >> Joel Miller x afab!reader - Summary: “I’m not done with you.” or big dick Joel Miller fucks you hard. | 🥵 🥵 🥵 🥵 🥵 🥵

Nadie Espera un Milagro (No One Expects a Miracle) by @oonajaeadira >> Javier Peña x f!reader - Summary: Sassy, confident, American ex-pat female who finds her parents a little tedious and enjoys both her independence and her job as a high-level admin at the DEA. | Had me falling in love with Javi and how much he cared for the reader and wanted to prove to the reader's parents she could take care of herself.

Need To Know by @ayorooster >> dbf!Joel Miller x afab!reader - Summary: THE FIRST TIME Joel Miller realized how bad he had it for you was on a Saturday night. | It's hot 🥵 and I really enjoyed it.

*Salvatore Pt. 1 to Playing Dangerous by @devilmademewriteit >> Javier Peña x afab!fem!reader - Summary: A secretary with an attitude problem, a DEA agent with an insolence problem. Years ago, you'd stopped hoping for his character to improve, but he's still gunning to set you straight. It’s the worst day of your life, and Javier Peña aims to take advantage of that. | Plot leaves you wanting more and more and so excited there is a second part.

*Playing Dangerous Pt. 2 to Salvatore by @devilmademewriteit >> Javier Peña x afab!fem!reader - Summary: Sure, the fact that he’d schemed up an entire, elaborate ruse to get between your legs was upsetting. More upsetting was the fact that he refused to fess up, insisting that you needed to be protected (or at the very least—cautious) because your life was in ‘grave danger.’ Most upsetting, however? That would be the fact that through it all and above everything else, you still wanted him—badly. | It's a masterpiece. That's the best way to describe this overall.

Still Here by @sl-ut >> Joel Miller x Reader - Summary: Joel is older than y/n, but that’s never been a concern of hers until very recently. | The number of emotions I went through while reading this one was dozy. I needed tissues. So well written.

Swaddling by @babydin >> Joel Miller x Reader - Summary: Joel was not a morning person. But the morning after he had spent the night with his cock inside you and woke up fucking you? That day he was definitely a morning person. | Dirty with a dash of cuteness.

TRIPLE FRONTIER:

Erase It by @jake-g-lockley >> Santiago Garcia x reader - Summary/Prompt: they’re teasing each other when one character goes “then kiss me” and is surprised that the other character actually does it. | Can Santiago come take care of me during my periods, please? It's so fluffy and sexy. TW: Period Stuff

Husband Duties by @rayslittlekitten >> Will “Ironhead” Miller x Wife F!reader - Summary: Not being able to fall asleep, you wake your husband up to help with your situation. | Currently wishing I was Will's wife. TW: Pregnancy

WILLIAM DAFOE:

*Heroes by @areyenotfondofmelobster >> Sgt. Elias Grodin x OFC! Alexis Ryder - Summary: He is king, and she is queen. He smokes, and she is mean. Tomorrow, death may take them, but today, they are heroes. A story about love, war, courage, and the duality of man -- inspired by the David Bowie song, "Heroes". | This is a beautifully well-done story.

Just Because 🌻 (Moodboard) by @raincoffeeandfandoms >> Modern!Tommy Shelby

Keep Us Safe (Moodboard) by @running-outof-time >> Tommy Shelby x Wife!Reader | for @zablife story Keep Us Safe.

Peaky Blinders characters with a daughter who gets her first period by @scorpiussage | I read Alfie’s dialogue in his voice; it was so spot on. I can see Arthur getting all pale. Tommy would stand by and listen to help in the future. So good.

Phantom!Alfie x Christine!Reader (Moodboard) by @raincoffeeandfandoms >> Alfie Solomons x Reader | I'm a huge fan of Phantom of the Opera, so this moodboard is just perfect, especially for Alfie. I think.

@notyour-valentine - Val is a fantastic writer at conveying the tone, setting, and emotions. I often feel like I've stepped inside the piece of writing I'm reading or watched it play out on screen instead of reading it. Not only does she write for Peaky Blinders, but she also writes for House of Dragons.

@cillmequick - Alex is a talented writer who writes for Peaky Blinder's fandom with two main stories. The Lockdown Sessions is a Cillian Murphy series, and Betrayal is a Tommy Shelby story feat. Luca Changretta. Alex recently celebrated 6 months of posting her stories. So, give her stories a read and a follow.

@areyenotfondofmelobster - S brings forth emotions when writing for Adrien Characters and Peaky Blinders, to name her current favorites. I've enjoyed three of her pieces, and they have moved me to tears, and I love it when a writer can do that. Her current series White Ribbon features Luca Changretta.

[aesira-of-orion]

🍀 , 🎹, and 🎓 for Val and Tama

☘️

Val: oh boy. So vals inspiration. Val was inspired from another character of mine, averill. Averill is an amazing general who cares about her troops more than her own personal safety, she’s also completely mentally unstable. Val was inspired to be what averill could be or was before everyone in her life died.

Tama: Tama was created as a more calm young version of Val

🎹

Val: sparring, and fighting her siblings

Tama: does work count?

🎓

Val: I have no honest clue

Tama: uhhh 5 months?

[septic-selfships]

marv,,,

good luck bear 🍀 - who's more of an optimist -- you, or s/i?

grumpy bear 🌧 - who's more of a pessimist -- you, or s/i?

but between you, sunday and val? :0

"Ah, these should be easy to answer.

1. Both Sunday and Valerie and more optimistic. I believe Val is the most optimistic, although that comes from being a bit... Naive. Not to be condescending, of course, they're simply younger than us and haven't lived the life that we have. Sunday's always been able to look on the bright side.

2. I guess I'm the pessimist here, then. I tend to have "doom spirals," I suppose you could say, and it's easier for me to slip into a negative mindset. It's why I'm glad to have two positive and grounding people by my side.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. Val always lightens the mood by acting silly and Sunday is endlessly caring. I love them both so, so much."

[perenlop]

🍀🍃🌸💮

🍀 Who has the best luck of your ocs? The worst?

the one with the best luck is probably valerie! shes always on good terms with everybody (at least in her head) and she’s pretty lucky when asha and skylar find her in the beginning of the story and throughout most of the first arc. although she may not be able to count on it all the time...

the one with the worst luck is probably either castor or quinn, quinn’s very hatching was out of bad luck because she was picked from a clutch of eggs (that were left alone for perfectly normal lives once she was gone) and her whole life has just been her getting tripped up and hurt by events that, if they weren’t initiated by horrible pokemon already, weren’t in her control anyways. it’s not the sole reason why, but its part of why she’s pretty miserable in the present day. and then castor is a whole bunch of spoilers, im keeping the details on these two vague bc i really wanna tell their story in professional form sorry but ill get there!

🍃 Who of your ocs would love to travel? Who has traveled the most/farthest?

valerie! its a dream of hers to leave serenade falls and travel the other continents and see what the world has to offer her! but of course, she’s by far the oc who has done the least.

as for who has traveled the most, definitely asha. she’s been traveling and crossing through dimensions her entire life. the ones who could rival her are possibly team silverwind, but they probably were nowhere near as constant about it

🌸  Who is the most innocent of your ocs? The most guilty?

valerie is nailing these questions. her again! anything she’s done is out of a desire to help, and she has a very hard time being abrasive so she doesn’t really like hurting anyones feelings, much less try to do anything bad. she’s done some, of course, but compared to anyone else she’s a saint.

the most guilty is atlas, he’s also spoilery bc again i want to write that prequel but he was kind of a bystander when growing up with quinn (something he tries to make up for by being with her and it influenced the “if you hurt kids im gonna brick you” mentality), he hates how he reacted to certain things in his youth (like becoming a criminal, hes got unresolved feelings about stuff, if i get any less vague its spoilers for both the prequel and starfall so ill stop here but yeah he’s happy now but he feels guilty over a LOT of stuff, whether it was in his control or not.

💮 What are your oc’s best skills?

i answered val on the others so lets go all the way, her best skills are singing, performing, and sewing! she wants to be versatile in a lot of things because she loves to help others, but thats what she’s best at! one of the reasons she wants to travel is so she can be a traveling performer! and in the story she’s trying her best to develop into a decent battler as well!

[itsmecancelada]

Crecí viendo demasiada televisión. Amaba las películas románticas. Siempre decía que yo terminaría teniendo una de esas historias. (No tuve ningún romance adolescente. No tuve mi cuento adolescente Disney).

Soñaba con que mi primer beso seria el más mágico, con la persona que más amara. (Fue con un chico que ni siquiera conocía, en un boliche, en Bariloche, y solamente acepté por la vergüenza de tener 17 años y no haber besado a nadie).

A los 8 años, le prometí a mi papá que cuando fuese mi fiesta de XV, no tendría ningún novio, pero que probablemente rompería esa promesa. (No tenia novio en mi fiesta de XV. Ni siquiera había dado mi primer beso. Por desgracia, cumplí la promesa).

Los parientes o amigos de mis padres siempre bromeaban con que yo tenia muchos pretendientes. (No tenia ninguno. Los chicos ni siquiera me hablaban. Con suerte sabían quien era yo).

Cuando entré en la secundaria veía a mis compañeras hablar sobre los chicos con los que se hablaban o se tiraban onda. (Jamás me han tirado onda en Instagram, jamás me han mensajeado, jamás han pedido mi numero, jamás).

A los 14 años, le dije a mis amigas que lo más probable era que yo perdería la virginidad a los 16 años. (Nadie me da la hora, menos voy a tener relaciones).

A los 16 años, mi tía le preguntó a mi mamá si yo era lesbiana. (No tiene nada de malo, pero el nunca haber tenido interacciones con otros chicos fue lo que le hizo preguntar. Y sé que no solo es solo ella, sino también la mayoría de personas que conozco. Mis propios ex compañeros de secundaria pensaban eso).

Siempre me preguntan si hay algún chico en mi vida. (Y solo quiero largarme a llorar porque la respuesta siempre es negativa, y solo deseo que dejen de preguntarme).

A los 17 años, una de mis (ex) mejores amigas, quien había comenzado a estar de novia, me dijo que ni siquiera podía imaginarme estando de novia y el resto coincidió con ella. (¿O sea que me ven como alguien incapaz de tener una relación? ¿Es improbable que alguien me quiera? ¿No soy propensa a ser amada?).

Me dicen que es mi culpa porque nunca salgo, porque no hablo con otras personas (Pero antes era bastante sociable y tampoco lograba nada. Tengo amigas y conocidas que son iguales que yo y si han logrado algo. Pero yo no. Nunca soy yo. Perdón por ser así).

Hubieron tres chicos interesados en mi, pero yo no acepté (Pero casi lo hago. Porque estaba desesperada. Desesperada porque alguien me diera un poco de atención, que mostrara un simple interés en mi. Iba a conformarme con nada).

Y sé que solo tengo 18 años, y mi mamá siempre dice que las cosas llegan a su tiempo. PERO ESTOY CANSADA DE ESPERAR.

ESTOY CANSADA QUE EL RESTO DE PERSONAS ME REBAJEN POR EL SIMPLE HECHO DE NO TENER UNA VIDA AMOROSA.

Y QUE POR CULPA DE ESO, YO MISMA ME REBAJE Y ME HAGA DUDAR TANTO DE MI.

¿Qué está mal en mi? ¿No soy bonita? Está bien, me esforzaré más ¿Mi personalidad no es entretenida? Bien, la cambiaré ¿Es porque no soy demasiado madura? Lo siento, lo intento, deberás que lo intento.

Necesito que me digan que está mal en mi.

¿Qué está mal en mi?

[itsmecancelada]

“Aceptamos el amor que creemos merecer”

Leí las ventajas de ser invisible cuando tenía 12 años y desde que leí esa frase nunca analicé la profundidad que tiene hasta ahora, a mis 18 años.

Realmente aceptamos ese amor porque creemos que no somos merecedores de algo mejor que lo que se nos presenta. Porque creemos que no podremos encontrar algo mejor.

Como mujer que nunca ha tenido pareja, llegué al punto de aceptar cualquier hombre que se me presente, solo por el simple de cumplir con lo esperado y de sentirme devastada viendo al resto de personas de mi edad yendo a citas o hablando de sus recientes conquistas.

Siento que no puedo acceder a más. Que no soy lo suficientemente linda o carismática para poder estar con alguien que esté dentro de mis estándares. Siempre los veré como mi algo inalcanzable.

No puedo sacarme esa frase desde el momento que me di cuenta que acepto el amor que creo merecer y no el que realmente quiero.

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estoy en mi periodo y encontrar estas cosas en tik tok no ayudan.

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ellas son yo y yo soy ellas.

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pase todo este tiempo pensando que yo era Amy March, sin darme cuenta lo mucho que en realidad soy Jo:

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hoy en la madrugada mi mamá, mi hermano y yo nos pusimos a recordar momentos de la infancia. Hasta que en un momento mi mamá dijo: "Antes eras muy feliz, ahora ya no. No sé que pasó".

auch

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vision board 2024💫

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en un mes y medio cumplo 19.

no estoy lista.

se me está yendo la vida.

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hace unas semana me tocó hacer prácticas en una sala de 2 años, en mi antiguo colegio. y fue la mejor semana de mi vida:

dos ni��os mellizos (idénticos). uno de ellos lloraba siempre por su mamá y venia corriendo a mi para que lo abrazara y se acostaba en mi pecho.

una de las niñas venia a hacerme cosquillas y le gustaba verme las uñas (porque las tengo pintadas con brillito).

uno de los niños vino corriendo a abrazarme y darme un beso antes de irse.

una de las niñas (la cual tiene un síndrome) venia corriendo a mis brazos, contenta, y me daba un abrazo y me pedia que la cargue.

uno de los niños vio que tenia un cuaderno y me pedia que le haga dibujos.

uno de los mellizos se tragó un pedazo de masa y su vomito era de color rojo.

las maestras les entregaron unos libros y algunos venian a pedirme que se los lea.

la mayor parte del tiempo yo estaba sentada en el piso y ellos se peleaban por sentarse cerca mío o encima mio.

uno de los nenes se dio la cabeza contra el piso y se quedó acostado en mi hombro mientras yo le ponia hielo.

durante la despedida de hoy, uno de los niños me pidió que le tirara un beso y cuando lo hice, me dijo gracias.

los voy a extrañar siempre sala amarilla💛

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Mi abuelo me está ayudando a practicar a manejar en la calle. Primero manejé la camioneta de mi mamá, pero los pedales me cuesta controlarlos porque es una camioneta más nueva (y en la academia de manejo me enseñaron con autos viejos).

Entonces mi abuelo me dijo que manejara su auto y me fue mucho más fácil manejarlo.

El auto de mi abuelo había sido de mi papá, entonces mi abuelo me dice "este es más fácil porque este auto lo manejó tu papá".