#v. i'm in love with a woman i can't have. { damon }

[aka-efirg]

ok bit a background and context for something i'm gonna post later (probably... eventually... if i manage to finish it) but in the meanwhile

time-travel idea from an au which has been living non-stop in my head for the last weeks. in this au (no details, just ideas floating around), instead of damon and elena dating, there is this weird dating?not dating? denzo which is hella confusing to everyone because they're close always touching and being in each other space but!!!? we just saw damon making out with a random girl and enzo being cool??? about it so they're not dating then? right?!? (i just love the idea of undefined relationship between damon and enzo, just them being bestfriends and maybe they have sex maybe not) (somewhere in the other side alaric is groaning and despairing because "of course they're not just bestfriends!! damon and i weren't like that!! i mean yeah damon doesn't know what personal space is when drunk and is all over you whether you want it or not but we weren't like t h a t" but nobody can hear him (except maybe jeremy who chooses to ignore alaric because? he doesn't want to know or more importantly he doesn't want to think about what damon and enzo do in their free time thank you very much!))

okay i didn't plan on going that much into denzo (seriously the bestfriends ambiguous as hell thing l o v e. i t!)

but what is important to know is the things with hell happened (different from canon, notably no katherine as queen of hell) it's all cade and they failed to stop him so hellfire starts spreading and everyone is killed one by one. important thing to know now is last scene of this au is bonnie who just got killed with caroline arriving to see damon on the ground with bonnie in his arms (enzo and stefan already dead) and then she gets killed by cade. cade is about to kill damon with hellfire but before he gets burned he finds himself in front of emily who tells him he'll have a chance to start over because with cade winning, there is no balance anymore. with nothing left to lose damon accepts and emily sends him back to the past

so damon is thrown back during season 2, where everyone hates him and doesn't trust him at all, his last memories being caroline (with whom he developed an okay relationship) and bonnie (bestfriend and one of his favorite people) dying. he feels very disconnected (everyone is so young, only caroline is a vampire and even then she's a very baby vampire and bonnie hates him, his brother distrusts him) and there is a change in his behavior so obvious everyone notices and is very suspicious of it and it's too much for him. and then he remembers enzo is still a prisoner to augustine so damon leaves because he can't leave enzo to be tortured when he knows he's alive

bottom line, things happen with damon having memories from the previous timeline and with enzo present who is very disturbed by his friend because?!? fifty years alone and the man who abandoned him and left him to die suddenly comes back to free him, killing everyone on his way (he's still a bit convived this is a very elaborated hallucination) and then tells him he killed the woman he loved and he is acting so strange wtf? he's the one who was prisoner and alone and tortured for decades?? why damon looks worse than him?!

[heartfullyferal]

At what age did Lizzy find out Katehrine Pierce was her mother? How did that affect her view of herself and the world around her? How did that view change again later when she found out she'd been spoon fed lies about her mother her whole life?

My human flaw is that I fucking don't trust my own memory of events I literally paced out step by fucking step.

I think Lizzy had turned seventeen that January, and Klaus found the paperwork with her in M a r c h. She and Jeremy had not yet done The Fuck I remember checking that recently, apparently they knew everything about her and still went AHEAD.

I could be wrong but I'm holding onto that one, that's what feels r i g h t to me.

By the time Lizzy saw the names on the document, this girl was DEEP in this story about how Katherine was such an evil force, and Damon was this toxic hateful being that shouldn't be allowed near women and children: She literally grew up with Klaus Mikaelson and was still more concerned by these stories of Katherine and Damon because they highlighted these terrifying truths about everything they'd done w r o n g.

Two people who can do nothing BUT wrong and create horrors and mistakes: and their child stood in the middle.

Lizzy didn't come out of her room for three days. It's like hating her body but w o r s e. Her body, her thoughts, her voice, the air she breathes- she wanted to get out of her skin and she was trapped in a body created by the t w o people MOST rejected in her entire tiny w o r l d.

It doesn't matter how much you tell her she's not responsible for the sins of her parents. You associate Damon's eyes with violence, and Katherine's hair with manipulation, you're suffocating their child.

There is nothing worse than criticizing their parent in front of them. It is the e n d of the world, they can't handle that until they're older. You h a v e to be gentle.

It's still not entirely gone, you know.

She can lay in bed all day and feel sick to her head remembering how hard Stefan can fall out with people. How much Elena can stand on her self righteous soapbox and renounce people on the spot.

And how fast Jeremy can criticize someone without thinking about who he's saying it to.

And girls just l e t her go through that. Hardly anybody considered for a single second that maybe the ONLY person who could benefit from hearing some of the good about her own mother and how she was once capable of bring people happiness, was Elizabeth herself. Damon might have been the ONLY ONE to tell Lizzy it would be w o r t h getting Katherine out of that tomb for her l o v e because she would make the world o k a y again.

Elijah probably didn't want to get a little girl's hopes up in case her mama had to run again.

Less selfish. More compassionate! Like Stefan.

After a few months of torment and self judgement, confusion loathing- Katherine dropped in to really do what was at the time an urgent rescue operation to save a girl from a clock tower swan dive. We don't like to admit it here, but Lizzy has touched on that thought more than t w i c e.

Camille really should check in.

I guess subconsciously, Lizzy knew the views of her mother would be biased to the people who felt wronged by her? And in essence she could understand that it came from the intention to protect her from heartache or disappointment. Stefan, she gets what you were trying to do. And you weren't taught how to do it. You were doing what you thought was right in the moment, with her best interests at heart.

Or maybe you couldn't stand the thought of Katherine having this one nice thing because you had hold of her f i r s t.

But when Katherine sits you down and tells you she's clinging into survival and hating every step of it, you've lost all leverage in that emotional war.

Going against her mother will never be fair.

It will never make any sense.

This woman who loves her daughter more than words and murder could ever express, could never be as evil as all t h a t. Not when she tells you that she gave you up to protect you against every will in her not to.

These days it's hard? Everyone talks about Katherine the same way, as if Lizzy doesn't know the other side of the story now. The people she saw as holy have since fallen from grace Elena, and she's starting to slowly become accustomed to the idea that maybe evil in the eyes of the virtuous isn't so bad after all.

At least it keeps you a l i v e.

[decdinside-blog]

         damon was moping, as he usually did. he didn’t get the girl, he never got the girl. after having told elena he loved her, compelling her afterwards, his mood was entirely dampened. she would never know. he stared out the window of the boarding house with a glass of bourbon in his hand, knowing he would have to feel this way for an ETERNITY. in the corner of his eye, after hearing the front door sound, he noticed blonde, curly locks --- caroline. she was way too perky, it was too much for him sometimes, especially in the mornings.          ❝ —- what do you want? ❞  

[grapsandclaps]

GRAPS AND CLAPS REVIEWS - FUTURESHOCK WRESTLING'S 14TH ANNIVERSARY

The decision from PCW and FutureShock to hold anniversary shows on the same night gave your regular correspondent, Andrew Ogden, a decision to make. With his massive hands deciding to head to Preston, he needed someone to report from Manchester as we needed to make sure both shows got their deserved place in the spotlight.

Hands up, I’ve only been going to independent wrestling shows since February, but the bug has bitten me bad and loving every second of being part of a wonderful community. Anyways… on with the show.

After a last minute change of plans, my wife, who two months ago called wrestling 'rubbish', asked if she could join me in Prestwich for FutureShock's 14th anniversary show in the Longfield Suite. She had come along to FS’s Tapped show in Manchester, mostly for the food and alcohol, but was won over by the awesome show. Declaring it “not as bad as I thought it would be” I knew she’d be back.

It goes to show the power and appeal of professional wrestling, changing someone's staunch opinion in just one show.

Normally your resident reporter would bring you opinions and prices of the local beer options, but sadly I'm off alcohol as I try to make myself ineligible for Progress’ Atlas division. However, we did enjoy a car picnic with a medley of goodies from M&S. I recommend bringing some hot sauce if you have the harissa chicken.

After meeting the rest of the graps gang, including Taff and Davie, fellow founder members of the #CyanideSection/#CraterMates we headed inside for the show.

First up was Delicious Danny Hope taking on Alex Boylin, joined by Rizwan Khan at ringside. After one shenanigan too many, Ref Pete had enough and sent him to the back. Danny used the distraction to his advantage and hit a tassel powered superkick to pick up the pin fall.

After stealing the show at Tapped last month and the unfortunate injury to Lykos ruling out CCK in the previously announced tag match, the impressive Young Guns were handed a No.1 contenders match against the Sexy Gents.

This was another wonderful back and forward match, but turned on its head when John McGregor tagged himself in just as Kev Lloyd had gained the upper hand. Not the first time the Gents have shown signs of discontent and they were made to pay.

Ethan Allen took Kev out of the game on the outside and just as Luke Jacobs managed to counter Kev’s guillotine choke his partner jumped from the top rope and hit a codebreaker/doomsday device double team. Fantastic finish from two excellent teams and the Young Guns will get a chance at Tyson T-Bone and Chris Ridgeway’s tag team titles.

Kev after the match said 'Him and John can't go on anymore' and walked off into the night with The Sexy Gents looking finished. Leaving ONLY JOHN in the ring 😭😭😭

Next, it was the match which has been building since JJ Webb first fought Deadly Damon Leigh in the same building back in February. After multiple encounters, it was brought to a head at Tapped when JJ had to save Chris Egan with DDL standing over him holding a steel chair.

This would be no ordinary singles match, oh no, this is a ‘loser wears a Chicken Suit match’. Built on the emergence of the Chicken Section following a ‘All Bins Are Legal’ tie which saw DDL dressed in KFC buckets.

DDL worked extremely hard to ignore the chicken chants, you could see the focus and the determination, the man from Stratford channeling his inner Colonel to stay calm. JJ should have had the three count after he planted DDL face first on the mat, but in the subsequent move, he had knocked out referee Fitzgerald into the corner.

Pete ran to the ring, but rather than start the count, he went to see to his colleague, giving DDL a chance to recover and hit Stockport’s finest with a low blow. Pete counted to three and the crowd were left disappointed… until Fitzgerald got back to his senses and informed our compere, Matt Taylor Richards, what he’d seen. The match would restart.

Both had their opportunities to finish it off, but JJ bounced off the ropes and hit a spinning clothesline to earn the 1, 2, 3, leaving DDL stunned and left to ponder his destiny, wearing the chicken suit.

The first of three title matches would take place before the interval, an eight-man scramble match for the Adrenaline title. Champion Sam Bailey would take on Wolfgang, Chris Ridgeway, Callum Corrie, Joey Hayes, Chris Egan, and Chris Brookes. The man holding the pin-fall after 15 minutes would leave Prestwich with the belt.

The first pin went to the exciting high-flying talents of Corrie, but like going 1-0 up after five minutes away from home, it was too early. Egan, after a couple of excellent spots, including when he avoided being drop-kicked by all six men at the same time, pinned Golfwang, sorry Wolfgang with eight minutes to go.

Everyone got their chance to lift the belt, Brookes made Ridgeway tap with a reverse figure four type move - apologies for not knowing names of moves, it looked very uncomfortable. Then, much to the disappointment of the crowd, Bailey put himself in the driving seat when he took advantage of the chaos to pin Brookes.

The clock ticked down and Hayes hit cutter after cutter, trying to find space to hit the winning blow, then with time winding down and the FutureShock faithful counting down from 10, the man who won the belt in Stockport Town Hall hit one last cutter - outta nowhere - on Bailey and the referees hand hit three with just 1 second on the clock.

AND NEW… a crazy, but fantastic match. Everyone hit their spots and Joey took full advantage at the perfect moment to regain the belt he lost from Bailey.

During the break, as he was contractually obliged, Damon Leigh came out to the ring wearing his chicken suit and the paying crowd were able to get their picture taken with DDL and Webb. An opportunity not to be missed.

Interval over, we were on to our second title match, an adrenaline rush rumble match for the woman’s title. Ten entrants, starting with two competitors in the ring, elimination only when both feet hit the floor and you go over the top rope.

Kasey Owens from the Queen Bees started in the ring with Alexis Falcon, but it became a numbers game when fellow QB member Jayla Dark joined next. The double team was too much for Alexis and she was thrown out. Taonga and FS favourite Lana Austin were next in, the former wasn’t able to make much of an impact before being eliminated.

Shax came and went, apart from a nice spot when she was caught by Gerald on the outside and he placed her back ring, she wasn’t able to offer much in the way of offence. Molly Spartan came in seventh, giving the Queen Bees the advantage. Newby Hollie came and went, with just enough time for one “Hollie, Hollie, Hollie, Oi, Oi, Oi” chant.

Viper entered the fray, taking over and supply each of the QBs with a cannonball in the corner, but the numbers game would come into play and it took all three ladies to lift the Megaton Barbie up onto Molly Spartan’s shoulders and deliver a devastating powerbomb.

I can’t condone this Scottish on Scottish crime, but after dumping Viper over the top rope, it was going to take a miracle to stop FutureShock’s power trio.

After Viper’s exit, Molly made the shook move to throw stablemate Jayla Dark over the top rope - still not sure why, more to come on that I think. Toni Storm entered last, but couldn’t stop Austin meeting her fate, leaving the Mae Young classic participant two on one against the Bees. However, quick thinking led her move out of Spartan’s way and the champion smashed into Kasey on the apron, eliminating her other comrade, this time by accident.

It would be Toni against Molly in a singles match for the belt, but Owens jumped back in, only to be met by Toni’s piledriver, but it gave Molly the gap she needed, hitting Toni with a devastating spear and picking up the hard-fought victory.

Overall a good match, but quite a few of the spots and decisions of when and how to eliminate people seemed strange. Great potential, but could have been better. There may be reasons behind it, but expected more from Viper and Lana. There seemed no point in having Taonga and Shax in the match at all.

Before the main event, and the raffle, Big Joe came out to the ring with Thomas Wolfe with something to get off his massive chest. After a typical warm welcome from the FS crowd and plenty of chants including the words ‘small’, ‘tiny’ and ‘how far away are you?’ Joe was able to issue his Little Man Challenge.

He wanted to challenge someone who had been a FutureShock staple since day one, a legend, a wrestling icon… he wanted MATT TAYLOR RICHARDS. The compere with no compare wasn’t keen, retired from in-ring competition, but the big man wouldn’t take no for an answer. Lifting MTR into the air, although he can bench over four times his own body-weight, it turns out that still isn’t much and he crumbled under the power of Richards and the prettiest man in the North West pinned Joe for the victory.

In an amazing turn of events I then won the raffle, two tickets to FutureShock’s show in Stockport on September 16th, two days before my birthday. What a result, make sure you check out their website for all future shows.

Time for the main event. Mask versus Title. Ashton Smith, the champ, against the Colossus, Cyanide. WWE v WoS. A match fitting for the anniversary.

Both men didn’t disappoint. Smith used speed and intelligence to try and gain the upper-hand, but the challenger had power on his side. But every time you thought the champ was down and out, he’d bounce back, eventually lifting all 36-stone of Cyanide on to his shoulders to deliver and earth-shattering samoan drop, the same move which saw him beat the big man in Stockport Town Hall.

This time Cyanide was smart and rolled out of the ring to escape the three-count, Ashton would get the crowd on their feet when he followed it up with a hurricanrana which sent his opponent into the ring post.

Just beating the 10-count with milliseconds to go, Cyanide was back in the ring and once on his feet he finally hit Smith with a chokeslam, razor’s edge and followed it up with a huge splash - the tremors reportedly felt as far away as Rochdale. Covering the champ, there was no response and Cyanide confirmed, monsters are real.

Belt in the air, FutureShock has a new champion and it is going to take something special to stop him.

Flanked by Henry T Grodd and Noah through his reign of terror, it seems like the champion wants to go it alone, laying out Noah was a thunderous chokeslam. Grodd teased going into the ring, but saw sense, instead helping his tag-partner to the back.

Two new champions, new number one contenders and a show that will live long in the memory. There were few down points, every big match hit all right spots and everyone, except Damon Leigh, will have gone home happy.

Six months ago I watched my first independent show in the same building, and now I am truly hooked and even my wrestling hating wife has been converted. That is the power of the British wrestling scene and it feels like a privilege to be part of it.

FutureShock returns to Stockport on September 16th, and then to Fairfield Social Club on September 23rd, were Pete Dunne will put his WWE UK title on the line at Tapped 2. Buy tickets NOW and check out FutureShock on demand to watch this show when it’s up.

[decdinside-blog]

          it was strange having her be in the same room with him & not be able to say what he really wanted to say or do what he really wanted to do. his charm usually worked on most girls, but elena was not most girls. he’d promised stefan he would keep an eye on her until they managed to get him out of the cave he now shared with katherine. he could tell elena was distressed by all of this, not knowing what could be happening in that cave. damon wasn’t as worried, he knew katherine would never harm stefan - she loved him. ❝ —- as long as you’re under my protection, you’re not going anywhere. now be quiet & read a book, or something. ❞ he took a sip of his drink.

[decdinside-blog]

         he found it quite amusing that he could stand feet away from katherine & she was unable to do anything. he felt in charge, for once. he stood opposite her, eyes narrowing. she was trying her best to lure him in, play games with him again. he wouldn’t fall for it. he was out of love with her at this point, the only petrova doppelganger that crossed his mind was ELENA. not that he could ever have her either. arms folded as he paid attention to katherine, trapped in a cave, where she was supposed to be.  why couldn’t they have trapped her there sooner?  ❝ —- you know, at first i thought this was stupid, but now it’s pretty FUNNY. ❞  a chuckle, just to piss her off.

[decdinside-blog]

         damon had promised stefan that he would keep elena safe, that he would let no harm come to her. normally, he would have told his brother to figure it out himself, but he cared for her, he really did. he watched as she stood opposite stefan, afraid. katherine liked to play games, liked to get into people’s heads. whose to say that’s not what she was doing within the cave. damon followed behind elena as she left & made her way outside. he wasn’t sure anything he could say would calm her down. all he really wanted to do was make sure she was okay. not that anything was okay. stefan & the moonstone were  trapped inside that cave. if they didn’t get either back, they were doomed.  ❝ —- elena, slow down. we can’t have you running off again incase someone tries to kidnap you. ❞  he rolled his eyes & reached out for her arm.

[decdinside-blog]

           damon’s number one priority was to protect elena from klaus. the big, bad original that had plans to make an appearance in mystic falls. he wasn’t entirely sure there was anything they could do about it right now. damon was attempting to find the answers he needed, but was failing to do so quick enough. it was times like these that he found himself sitting in the lounge area of his home, drinking his sorrows, figuring out the plan. if there even was one. he was still struggling with the fact he’d told elena he loved her, just to compel her afterwards. it was the most selfless thing to do & he had to be different. he couldn’t let himself be selfish. hearing someone enter his refuge, he grunted. the last thing he wanted to do was talk to someone.  ❝ —- not tonight. don’t want to hear it.... haven’t you got somewhere else to be? ❞  he sat with his back to the person that had just entered, not bothering to peek.