#v; dai | sv; Siraj

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@many-tales-told asked: '' tell me if something's bothering you. '' - Fin & Siraj

She had been distant. She knew that. But no matter how hard she tried to hide it, hide everything, he always saw right through her. Her lips parted to speak, but her heart couldn’t find the words. Her desk was littered with papers; condolence letters, replies for reinforcement, and so many other things that she was afraid could not be handled. Fin was leaning over the desk instead of sitting in the chair like she normally would be. That was probably the other thing that tipped him off. 

“I think...” her hands balled into fists as she stood straight this time. “I think I’m dying...” The thought of looking at him right at that moment took the life out of her. Finduilas couldn’t imagine the pain that might come over him or the any of the other emotions that he may be feeling. She knew exactly what hers were, and they were her burden to bear. “The anchor is growing...spreading up my arm and I...” she shook her head and stood up straight before pacing in front of the giant desk.

“No one knows how or why...Solas teeters around it like I’m a fragile child and won’t tell me what he actually thinks is wrong or how I could possibly fathom to stop it...and I don’t-” she can’t do it. To lose him, for him to lose her? It was too much for her heart to take. “...I’m scared and I don’t know what to do next...I can’t tell them...I-I can’t...I didn’t want to tell you...but I love you a-and you deserve to know...”

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@many-tales-told asked ;; [ sleep ] – for your muse to fall asleep on mine - Let Siraj snuggle-sleep with Fin please

The days on the road had been exhausting for everyone. Thankfully, though, her advisors and guard shifts had been able to get their sleep here and there, but Finduilas had kept an eye on the roads all day and night. Which means Siraj did too. Camp was set up, thankfully, by Dorian and his quick magic, a wink was given and he fucked right off for the night to snuggle Seraphim in the tent just a ways away. 

The blonde elvhen giggled softly and found her way inside, only to find Siraj already down for the count on their cot. Yes, their cot. She had allowed him every opportunity to be with her on missions. As he had said before, they were a team; there was no more leaving him behind to make sure he was safe. 

Removing the plate from her Keeper armor, the lithe body slid into bed right next to him, arms adjusting her blankets, pillows, and everything in between. Fin was just about to grab some more paperwork to work on while she still had some consciousness about her, but his hands knocked it all away, causing her to giggle, as he wormed his way against her chest, arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. 

“Well...that’s one way to tell me I’m done with work, vhenan.” She chuckled softly, watching as he came to rest; his head against her chest, arms holding her tight, and legs twining almost instantly as if to lock her in place. “Let’s get some sleep....we’ll need it for the morning.” Her hand very delicately began to thread through his curly trusses, massaging at his scalp while the other began to dance along his skin, hoping to lull him further into sleep. 

[nyf-archive]

do you feel any different? - Fin/Siraj (post-Trespasser?)

Different? Different was...not the right word to describe how she felt. Her eyes fell to the spot where her forearm should be, and she swore that she could still feel as though she was flexing her hand, turning it over to examine the anchor once more. But it was gone. Completely, utterly, entirely. Cassandra had done her best to make a clean cut, but a few more strikes had to be made in order the remove the limb that was threatening to tear her apart and rip another hole in the veil. Commander Helaine was doing her best to teach her to use the magic that a Knight Enchanter would use to summon a sword, except to summon an ethereal arm.

It wasn’t going as well as she would have hoped. Despite how much she practiced, it never came to pass. For a moment, she thought of what to say so that she didn’t upset or worry her love, the man who helped carry her to safety after the events of Solas’ doing. She can still remember the excruciating pain of the anchor exploding out, knocking down all of her friends and injuring them in the process. Over and over she apologized as the anchor split further and further down her arm. She was pretty sure it was already broken by the time Cassandra amputated it.

“...the phantom pains have diminished,” partially, that is, “and I think I’m getting used to it not being there. The hardest part, I think, is trying to relearn how to do things with my right hand instead of my left.” There was no more using a staff, seeing as though it was hard to maneuver with only one hand. That was another thing she was practicing but failing miserably at. Cass and Bull were kicking her ass into the dirt. Needless to say, her pride was becoming bruised. 

“I uhm...I’m doing better, though. The scar is healing up just fine.” That was an understatement. Although it was perfectly healed, thanks to Vivienne, it was hard to adjust. She knew Siraj was trying his best to help her, but this was hard. She lost a limb, lost what had made her special. The physical scars had healed. The mental and emotional ones? They lingered heavily on her mind and toyed with her emotions. 

Stop staring at it. Look up at him. She had to mentally prepare to turn her eyes up to him and to muster the best smile she could to show him that she was trying. At this point, she had to survive this for no other reason than to stay with him and to spite the world that wanted her gone and forgotten. 

“How are you doing? That Saarebas hit you like a battering ram...”

[nyf-archive]

❝ There’s no end to how much I love you. ❞ - Siraj @ Fin

There is a pause in what her slender hands are doing, the faint glow that moved through the darkening chambers stops it’s motions, flaring slightly with her quickening heartbeat as she looks over to him in the doorway. This mission she couldn’t, wouldn’t, allow him to go with. The last thing either of them needed was to be distracted during the fight, worrying about whether the other was safe and putting them at risk in their search. “...those are heavy words to be spilling in the dark of the night, vhenan.” Finduilas pulls her robes closer to her body as she moves to meet him in the middle, one arm wrapping around his waist as the other reaches up and finds his cheek so delicately. 

“...my love for you burns brighter than any fire, vhenan...is bigger than any rift that may tear the sky open, and is deeper than any tunnel a dwarf could ever create.” Her thumb dances along his cheek as she searches his gaze, hoping that this could be enough to settle any nerves he may have about her going with him. “I can’t have you throwing yourself in the way for me...we’ve lost too many people as it is, and I won’t go through my life without you...it may be selfish and it may not be what we want, but I know that you’ll at least be safe...and that’s all I could ever ask for.” She leans her head against his chest, listening to the thrumming of life just within, and closes her eyes. “Cass, Varric, and Dorian will all be there...I’ll be safe...and I’ll come back to you, just as I always do.”

[nyf-archive]

🌑 - Siraj makes a show of it, when he can, trying to take Fin's mind off all the worries of the day

Send 🌑 to crawl into bed with my muse

The silence in her room is deafening most days. How could one sleep in such a large room all by one’s self? Especially after a hard day’s work like they’ve had recently. Most nights it’s tossing and turning until the exhaustion hits by sunrise and then sleeping for only a handful of hours while she basks in the sun’s warmth. But, tonight was different. Her ears picked up on his footsteps before he even made it through the door. She sat up, thinking that he was going to be in, only to ask a question or to entertain her a little while longer, but as he crawled into her bed and closed the gap between them, there was a giddy smile upon the blonde’s face as she wiggled almost closer, shuffling herself under the blankets and practically melting herself into his side. 

These nights were the best. She didn’t care what anyone said, what rumors were on the tongue of her people. She was just happy to have Siraj with her. Ever since their moment at the Winter Palace, Finduilas couldn’t help but get more and more attached, growing more and more obvious with her affections towards her companion. Everyone else also seemed to be pairing up; Dorian and Seraphim, Cullen and the Hero of Ferelden, Josie and the Warden making eyes at one another; love was just surrounding them and it was hard trying to keep it to herself. 

Her arms wrapped around his waist, their legs twining together as she settled against him, her head on his shoulder as she finally was able to focus on something other than the grandfather clock in her room. His heartbeat was a much needed distraction, and within no time, did the blonde fall asleep with ease. Siraj always knew how to make things better...

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“For just a few hours, stay out of trouble, okay?” - Siraj to Fin

“Me? Get into trouble?” The elvhen looked over to her companion and gave a bit of a knowing grin, unable to help herself as she wrinkles her nose at him. “I haven’t the faintest idea of what you speak of, vhenan. I have the most squeaky clean of records, don’t you know?” With a bump of her elbow against his arm, the blonde looks forwards and into the city, wondering what it was she could possibly do to muck this up. “I can’t promise I won’t make my own fun, though. Besides...trouble is entertaining. Keeps you chasing after me, right?” 

[nyf-archive]

“ turn the pain into power. ” - Fin/Siraj

Days like this were absolutely unbearable. The Anchor had kept her up all night, sparking, crackling, and burning as if she had stuck her entire forearm into a blazing fire. The elven woman was curled into a ball, her arm hugged into her body and buried under the covers. Maybe applying enough pressure would help it go away. Every so often the crackling would rip through her appendage, causing a great deal of pain. Enough so that she cried out on one occasion. Fin buried her face into her pillow to try and silence herself. The last thing that the Inquisitor wanted was to wake her companions, her people, or her advisors. 

The sound of her door opening and closing fell on deaf ears. The footsteps up her stairs were missed as well as all she could focus on was trying to calm the sparking and pain from her arm. But as a body joined her in bed and a hand found her cheek, did the elf crack her eyes to see the curly haired man of her dreams leaning over her. Her lashes flutter over her eyes as he just sits there, and as his words find her ears, does a soft, pained smile find her lips. He always knew exactly what to say. A few tears fall from her eyes; while still in pain, she was happy to have him near. 

[nyf-archive]

i need you here, with me. - Siraj + Fin

The sheer thought of not being by the Rivaini’s side sent an ache in her chest. They’d become so close, had done so much adventuring together. It was honestly unbearable to have her life be any other way. The way he held her tight, or kissed her so lovingly...it would leave a hole in her heart if anything ever happened to him. A lithe hand reaches out and takes hold of his, fingers twining between his as if they were meant to fill the spaces perfectly, and with a soft squeeze, does she look up to him once more. 

“I’m not going anywhere...not now, not ever.” Fin would do the best she could, would fight as hard as she could, with or without the use of her magic. “You’re stuck with me until the end of the line. I promise.” A softer grin is given as she raises the hand she holds, and with a few presses of her lips against his knuckles, do those verdant orbs find him yet again. “Try as they might, no enemy of ours will ever bring me down.” 

[nyf-archive]

“Something else I can help with?” - Siraj + Finduilas

“I’m not sure there’s anything left, vhenan.” Finduilas grinned as she looked over the reports that were currently drying, all the bundles of coin that were separated out, and each little ‘thank you’ gift for those of their allies in which granted them aide during their round of the ‘Grand Game’ while in Halamshiral. All the hand written notes and cards were ready to go. The hand without the anchor was covered in ink smudges and wax. She was quite sure that there might’ve been a bigger mess around that she was forgetting about. 

“Thank you for everything, Siraj.” Her voice is soft as she leans over and kisses him on the cheek as her anchored hand gives his a squeeze. “I don’t know if I’d have as much free time as I do now if it weren’t for you.” Even though he had things of his own to do, the fact that he dropped most things to help her if she needed it made her heart feel so full. Never before had she had someone care for her as he did, and every day she grew more and more thankful. “Now, is there anything I can do in return for you?” Did he need new armor? Clothes? Maybe some more reading materials? Whatever it was, though, Finduilas was more than happy to get it for him.

[nyf-archive]

“ trust me ” - Siraj/Fin

Unnatural verdant green find those of his brighter baubles. They search for any other explanation, and though her heart races with anxiety in her chest, Finduilas releases his hand from her death grip, but lets her fingers linger along his skin. A shaky sigh leaves her lips and she can’t help but nod her head.

“I do...I always have...” Her voice was soft, audible for only the two of them to hear. She has no idea what he has planned, so this is her way of saying that she does, even if it may be something dangerous, something reckless, or something absolutely ridiculous, there’s no way that she would deny him this. Her faith in him never waned.

[nyf-archive]

The party was going on inside as if nothing had even happened. Celene was alive and well; she, Briala, and Gaspard all came to terms and are now at least civil with one another. Florianne was captured, but not without a fight. A fight which caused her body to ache cry out. And she had done it all in a ballgown that was way too ridiculous for this night.

Leaned over the balcony of Halamshiral, the elvhen was taking a breather, collecting her thoughts, and calming the fear and anxiety within herself as she realized how much of Corypheus’ plot they had taken down. It was feeling more and more surreal. They had the mages, had the Grey Wardens; what else could they possibly need now that they had Orlais and Ferelden to fight with them against these forces? They had to take him down next...it was the only way.

Her ears flickered a bit as they picked up on footsteps coming her way. Standing up straight to look ‘proper’ yet again, Finduilas turned over her shoulder, about to politely decline the offer of a dance from one of the many masked men inside, except for as she saw the familiar face of Siraj, did she gave a soft smile.

“Done with the party already? I thought you’d be having more fun...” Fin was quiet as she leaned herself back against the balcony, her hands crossed behind her back and pressed against the stonework. Honestly, she was in the middle of removing the ghastly high heels she had been forced to wear. They clattered to the side as she relaxed a little more. All her lessons she had been taught had been put to good use. She danced with so many nobles that she thought her feet were going to fall off.

“I still don’t quite think I’m cut out for this lifestyle...I’d rather be hurling fireballs at practice dummies in the courtyard.” The elvhen laughed as she looked Siraj over once more.

@quiprava

[nyf-archive]

👫 - Fin/Siraj

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

1. God. I can already tell these two are idiots. Between the bickering, the bantering, and the snide comments, these two just cannot keep it to themselves. Insults, though meant entirely in endearment, are flung relentlessly at one another. They pull endless pranks on one another (and others may accidentally be dragged into their wars), but these two live life absolutely to the fullest with one another.

2. Siraj is definitely the better of the care takers of their relationship; he’s grown up having to do so, so he falls into the role naturally, despite Fin absolutely not wanting him to be in that position in their relationship. But, let’s be honest. Fin doesn’t know jack shit about taking care of herself. Especially after becoming the Inquisitor; no longer the herald who everyone looked at as a false prophet, but the leader of this heretical group. She worries for everyone’s safety (and very little for her own). Self preservation has become a thing of the past, so Siraj steps in when she’s being reckless or just straight up needs to be told to go to bed. He’s good at just lifting her up and over his shoulder and throwing her (literally and figuratively) into bed.

3. They have a lot of relationship rituals; they braid each other’s hair, they help each other practice magic, they both shit talk to royals from time to time because...hey...why the fuck not? They don’t argue at dinner; if there are serious problems to be discussed, they’re shelved until another time! Dinner is for being together, not for arguing. They never leave, or reunite, without a kiss. And cuddling is a must; before going to bed and before they have to get up and go about the day.

4. PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. This is a must, to be quite honest. Hand holding, hugging, leaning on one another, using the other as an arm rest, so on and so forth! Fin is a very touchy-feely person and loves to be loved on. Even if it’s just Siraj putting his head on top of hers and leaning lazily against her. It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. She loves to cuddle, especially with her head on his chest so that way she can hear the smooth rhythm of his heartbeat. It’s soothing...everything that he does to display his affections for her just makes her feel all giddy inside. So now, it’s a must.

[nyf-archive]

💋 - Fin/Siraj (gentle and tentative)

It had been...tense...to say the least. The advisors were quiet, her companions even more so. Why did Dorian have to go and blab his big mouth? Solas had confirmed the fear that had coursed through her since the day they closed that breach in the sky...before she really met any of her other companions. She knew that there was no escaping this end, and she had accepted that.

Finduilas stood on the balcony of her room, looking out and over the bustling grounds; everyone else was oblivious, and she wanted it kept that way. The colorful robe she wore had long slipped down her shoulders, gathered in her folded arms; today was a down day, so she wore only her leggings and a light tunic underneath that rainbow fabric. Her hair was loose, not really having much thought put into it. When she wasn’t on bed rest, she was doing missions...and she had been doing as many of those as possible to keep from bed.

And that’s why everyone was tense...now it was mandatory. Solas said if she pushed herself too much, it would only get worse, it would consume her further, do more harm than good. So, she shut everyone out for a time so she could focus on not having a bit of a break down. Well...that focus was lost when she heard footsteps up the stairwell and hesitantly turned over her shoulder to see who might’ve been coming to do...well...who knows what.

When she saw that curly head of hair, her stomach churned in anxiety, her heart beating hard in her chest. Letting out a shaky breath, the elvhen turned and faced him as he walked ever closer, not even saying a thing to her, just closed the distance between them.

“I know what you’re going to say...I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared. I didn’t want to worry you too, S-” But he cut her off, his hand finding her cheek while the other placed itself against her jaw and neck, just keeping her still. He looked her over, searching her features, her eyes. Finduilas felt her lashes flutter as he leaned their heads together, noses brushing so gently.

And then he leaned forwards, the distance between their lips disappeared. He was kissing her...kissing her. He should be angry at her, but instead, he did nothing but show his affection, and she wanted all that he could give. Her own hands found him, grasped him by his tunic as her body practically melted into his own. He was gentle...hesitant, but it was perfect.

[nyf-archive]

❛ You make me want to be a better man. ❜ - Fin/Siraj

Her heart skipped a beat, or, maybe she thought it did. She felt light headed just hearing those words, but a softer grin found it’s way to her lips as her head lift from it’s previous position (which was staring at a book full of etiquette and gibberish she didn’t quite understand), and tilted her head. “How does something that one already sees as perfect become better?” Her hands gently closed the book and set it down on her desk.

“I mean...you could always take the Essence of Perfection we got in the fade...but I don’t suppose it would do you any good.” She was getting better at this flirting thing. Varric may have taught her cheesy things, but she was picking up on ways to talk and speak and sound as flirtatious as she was comfortable with. But, that is, she didn’t want it to be flirtatious, nor only to try and fluff his ego. Finduilas thought he genuinely perfect. He was strong, courageous, protective, maybe a little hot tempered, but it was good when it was necessary.

“But...if you strive for ultimate and peak perfection, I won’t stop you...I just know that in my eyes, it is not necessary. You are absolutely spectacular in all that you are and all that you do.” The elvhen moved over to him and as boldly as she could, let her hand slip into his before she gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Regardless of your decision, I’m happy...truly. You are wonderful and I’m not sure if I would’ve made it this far without you...”

[nyf-archive]

“ You want a piggie back? You’re looking pretty tired. ” - Fin/Siraj

“I want to say yes, but then again Varric might get jealous and want one, too.” Fin smiled softly as she dropped from the last tree branch of the oak she had climbed for vantage. “We should be coming up on a camp here soon enough, though. We can always catch our bearings there.” She walked over to the Rivaini and hooked her arm with his.

“I’ll lean on you instead, how about that? Would it make you feel a bit better if I leaned on you for support?” Finduilas grinned as she gave a bit of a tug forwards to get them to start walking in the direction they were supposed to be headed, Cass and Varric were somewhere ahead of them already, scouting and keeping an eye out for any enemies that could be headed their way.

[nyf-archive]

“Make Me Feel” Fin/Siraj

98. my muse tries to protect yours from certain doom

There was carnage surrounding them...everywhere she had looked, had tried to drag the injured man with her, the deeper into the Emerald Graves they had gotten. The ambush of Red Templars and Venatori alike had caught them off guard...with behemoths and spellcasters, Fin had no choice but to have the group retreat. Cassandra and Varric had taken off in the other direction, drawing the fire of most the battle, but even still, Siraj had done his best to keep her safe, which had meant taking on damage while making sure she could get further away.

But Finduilas was not having any of that sacrificial shit. He was almost down, bloodied and beat up to all get out. This wasn’t happening. She ran back towards him, put his arm around her shoulder, and half dragged him with her through the brush until they found a cave. And there, she hurried him in, and with a bit of magic, pulled a giant stone in front of the entrance and moved him back as far as possible. There, with a barrier around them, did the woman begin to pour as much healing magic into him as possible as she held him in her arms.

The screams of the behemoths were not far from them, and silently, she began to pray to whichever pantheon would hear her as she gathered his limp form up and into her arms. Fin leaned her head against Siraj’s, her hands grasping him tightly as they sat there in the dark of the cave. “Hang on...I’ve got you...” Her voice cracked, emotion coursing through her like a rampaging bronto. She hoped he was conscious...she hoped that he would be alright and that her magic would mend his wounds and keep him with her.

“Don’t you dare leave me...or I swear on Mythal that I’ll bring you back and kill you myself...!” Her voice broke ever so quietly as she buried her head further into his unruly, curled trusses as she continued to pray, begged for the monstrosities outside to bypass them. She just needed a little more time...!