#v: veilguard

[idolbound]

In regards to the questions that @extravagantliar asked earlier:

What was the worst injury your muse ever went through? how did it change their life and how did they fair in recovery? tangential question, how did it change their relationship with themselves? ( this does not need to be a canonical injury - perhaps there is a point in the journey outside a canonical injury that you consider a serious shift for them, why is that a focal point in your storytelling?) What affect does this have later on down they line if they are injured again?

In Meredith's post-DA2 verses (Inquisition, Inquisitor AU, and Veilguard), she has visible facial scarring as a result of the red lyrium idol sword exploding in her face (as opposed to turning her into a lyrium statue), which allows for her survival, and subsequent exile from the city of Kirkwall.

This damage is best represented in the DAI CC (with mods):

At the time of injury, numerous shards from the blade penetrated and embedded themselves into her face. While part of the impact was negated by her chestplate and neck guard (and luckily so, as a shard of steel could've easily cut a carotid artery), much of it was absorbed by the lower portion of her face. Meredith was considerably lucky that the force did not embed them deeper into the skull or upwards through nasal passages or the eyes into the brain. However, it caused many severe lacerations and deeply embedded shards of blade with profuse bleeding; with its explosion came a break from the idol's hold on her mind, bringing her back to reality while still in shock / not yet feeling the extent of the injuries from the adrenaline. I imagine she also had numerous battle wounds and magic-related injuries from the battle with Hawke and company, as she was on her last legs when she called for the Maker's aid in her fight.

As for how it changed her life and how she faired in recovery, she was forced into the Viscount's prison at first to be held for trial. In the process, she was treated for the wounds, requiring careful and painful extraction of each and every shard. While staunchly against using healing magic, she endured the pain with only non-magic medicines available; most of her wounds were deep and required substantial stitching and repair. In addition, she had numerous smaller wounds from tiny shards too that were painfully beneath the surface, unable to be retrieved, and simply had to heal and hope that no infection would get in any of the wounds. While in this process, she had very limited means of moving her jaw, couldn't sleep laying on either side, and had to have her wound dressings changed often and frequently.

This injury marks Meredith's downfall. It is her fall from grace, being knocked off the proverbial pedestal by her own doing, flying too close to the sun (there are many metaphors here). While at the time of her eventual exile from Kirkwall, her body was still in the process of healing, and she was more focused on survival after having everything stripped away from her. For the few years between the incident in Kirkwall to the start of Inquisition and the mage-templar rebellion in full, Meredith focused solely on how to live a life beyond the Templar Order, including making coin and finding a source of refined lyrium to stave off withdrawal and a loss of her magic-controlling powers after spending a lifetime perfecting them. It was a rough time period, living as a vagrant and a former shadow of herself. In this time, as wounds began to heal, they scarred, and they scarred brutally. Her face was once free of scars (though her body had its fair share from her experiences facing apostates and abominations over the years), and now, it had come to bear more than she could count, with some far worse than others. While it was seldom that she caught her reflection, she saw how people reacted to seeing her face and didn't need a mirror to know how rough she looked.

In addition to this, Meredith's weaning from having a direct, daily lyrium source meant her body started to suffer mild effects of withdrawal from adjusting the dose. She lost weight and became more gaunt in the face, and the stress of living like this aged her substantially with wrinkles becoming far more present, as well as a more ruddy appearance from being and working outdoors for most of the time. Further, she has darker eye circles, and often has blood shot eyes from a lack of sleep/exhaustion. All in all, she is worse for wear until joining the Inquisition (or joining the Wardens, as is the case in the DAV verse).

After joining, Meredith is able to recuperate by either acquiring lyrium / or following through the Joining. Her skin begins to look a little less pallid, and she eventually regains some weight (and is arguably, a little softer around the edges, though still tall and still relatively lean for her height). As she finds comfort and stability through either of these avenues, she begins to accept herself for her scars. I keep this as a focal point in these AUs because they mark Meredith's fall from grace and serve as a reminder to herself, and everyone around her; many know of 'Knight-Commander Meredith' and the story of Kirkwall, but many do not know her to look at her, but if there is hearsay or rumour, it is very clear that she wears her failure on her face and cannot hide it. This is a central theme of redemption that I focus on in these verses because it is a demonstrable way that Meredith cannot escape what she did or find distance from it when it is on her physical body. She bears the weight of her mistakes, and cannot change who she was or what she did; only that she can move forward and seek out a life of service in a redemptive manner.

As for later on down the line, Meredith experiences a lot of chronic body pain and nerve damage. She already has existing arthritis in her knees that worsens with the cold, but her face has a few places that are numb/tingly to the touch because of cut and damaged nerves that didn't get a chance to heal fully. Her body has it worse, often suffering through pains that linger for days. Should she be injured again, depending on the injury, it can certainly make existing issues worse. Though, she has lived through what she sees as the worst possible thing in her life, so a small blade wound or magic burn is nothing in comparison — she already bears the brunt of that mistake; it's just another one to add to the tally.

[nobroth]

Thanks to Pal both Alistair and Nathaniel ( @howetragic ) are available at Weisshaupt in Veilguard as prisoners being held in the belly of the place that can be released and join up with the Crew

[sisifroggy]

I love how if you flirt with Davrin, Assan cock blocks you and when you flirt with Emmrich, Manfred cock blocks you but when you flirt with Lucanis, Spite is all for it so Lucanis has to cock block himself. What a man

[sango-blep]

write that down, write that down!

[nozomi-mats]

Commission work done for kaeotickitten on Twt!

[pinayelf]

Love you like the rain, it falls much faster, living in a piece of ever after

[olessan]

Weird dog

[teansouprmyjam]

oh, grey warden...

[rookanisstuff]

I just wanted to say that the one piece you crafted of a particular kiss caught my heart, and I keep looking at it. Just... thank you for the art you gift this community.

You have a gift. You share it, and we love it. Know you ARE appreciated.

a smooch just for u anon (and a million for Lucanis)

[thimblings]

"Are you. Afraid? Our. "Little. Sun"?'

[idolbound]

The way that I approach Meredith in either of her redemptive AUs (e.g. Inquisition or Veilguard), is that, after her red lyrium idol sword, Certainty, blows up in her face (and ergo seen as a rejection from the Maker after she called on Him), being exiled serves as an important purpose to helping Meredith realize she was wrong, and understanding that she went too far.

After being exiled out of Kirkwall (think a bloodier, more injured and rushed version of Cersei being walked through King's Landing), for the Inquisition verse, she ventures amidst the outbreak of the mage-templar rebellion, trying to not only heal and recover, but to survive without a direct supply of lyrium. In some ways, she'd have access to supplies here and there for the right amount of coin but as the conflict continues, it becomes harder to get. As the Inquisition forms and moves to Skyhold, and word spreads, she makes the perilous journey there (scarred up, far weaker, and gaunt looking than she once was), and begs the Inquisitor to allow her to join; she is basically a sellsword at this point looking for lyrium supply to stave off the awful effects of withdrawal, but also as a way to try and at least redeem herself and to give herself purpose again. Of course, Culllen and Varric won't be happy she's there, but if accepted, she tends to keep to herself, finding quarters in basically a storage closet, sleeping on bags of feed for the horses and keeps her head down, going where she is demanded to go. She's like a ghost in Skyhold, knowing she failed Kirkwall and failed herself. Over time, with the completion of her personal quest (retrieving personal items from the Gallows/Kirkwall), she finds a new resolve and will survive for about 7-10 years after the Inquisition is over before lyrium dementia will finally set in. (If her personal quest is not completed, she will die serving the Inquisition).

For Veilguard, the tale is spun a little differently. In those 3 years, she still spends time reflecting on herself, but as access to lyrium becomes more difficult, she becomes more desperate and instead, after slowly, horrifically going through withdrawal and looking far worse for wear, she ends up travelling west to enlist with the Wardens as a last resort to save herself from an inevitable end (by, well, choosing another inevitable end). While she has years of experience as a templar, she ends up re-training to serve on the front lines against darkspawn, and eventually, some believe her ability to successfully suppress magic can be useful against certain types of darkspawn, so they secure a supply of lyrium which reinvigorates her strength and capability. But in this time, she is also much of a loner among the Wardens. While they accept nefarious types and criminals, those who know what she did let her know as such, even if it risks having solidarity in the ranks. But in this time, of course, she spends it fighting and giving herself to another cause (all she knows how to do is to serve an institution and something greater). Only after Weisshaupt, can she surface as a possible companion for the Veilguard, should they require her services.

For both verses, though, I think the act of redemption does not necessarily mean that Meredith is suddenly a good person. She's not. But! what it does mean is that she has been removed from the social institution that shaped her personal beliefs and allowed her to oppress mages; it is hard to see the evil when you are inside of it, but once exiled from the Order and Kirkwall more broadly, and spending time alone, she comes to realize that using the idol to gain more power and control was too much, and in a way, it's almost like how mages use blood magic to achieve similar purposes, and that is the very thing she hates the most.

Ultimately, she knows what life she has left to live is an early death sentence; she saw how her adoptive father slowly faded away from lyrium-related dementia, and knows that fate will likely be hers, too. So, Meredith believes that achieving redemption for herself is not to make up for the lives she has hurt and harmed, but to serve and protect others until her dying breath; it is the least she can do because it is all she has ever known.

She still holds prejudice towards mages (and that will always be ingrained in her), but she lacks the power to do anything about their existence now. She cannot let go of her early childhood trauma and general fear of what magic can do, but she has been removed from her station and the means to persecute mages. If the Inquisitor or Rook has mages in their ranks, she accepts it without argument (but she will be avoidant or weary around them, always keeping a watchful eye, just in case).

Also, in this sense, living in exile (despite living under rather unprecedented or... interesting times), is the first time Meredith has ever lived a normal life outside of the Gallows and the Order, and the demands of the Chantry. So this also plays into her redemptive arc by allowing her to experience things she's never gotten to do before, understanding life from a vastly different perspective (even if it is during a time when the world may be ending, and for a very short time compared to her old life).

In the end, redemption for Meredith is not a full 180 degree turn around for her character, but regret weighs heavily upon her; regret for what she did, regret for failing Kirkwall, and regret for never having a life outside of it.

She is haunted by ghosts; she is haunted by herself.

[psin314]

i like spite very much!! want to crush him

[mageswithcats]

I love this moment, so much. The little peek Is everything 😍

[sango-blep]

baby 🤲

[idolbound]

"I see."

A simple tut - one so often used condescendingly in the past now comes as merely understanding. She supposes there is a sense of humility, for the one leading the fight against the gods, to be here, down in the aftermath and muck, fetching and retrieving what she assumes to be medical supplies with herbs and salves, bandages and what not. A brow raises at the mention of Ghilan'nain - the very entity that had arisen, so she'd been told, with that of an archdemon at her beck and call, was still very much at large. Wounded, and one less beast in her army, but still alive.

Those ever piercing eyes look from Rook's mismatched eyes to the supplies, and slowly, surely, gloved hands come forward to take them. While her post is to mainly watch for lingering darkspawn, she herself can help too.

"Not... many," comes a terse answer; "Siobhán" remains a woman of few words beyond giving commands in recent years. However, the memory of one elf in particular comes back in force; though, more so for his obstinance and possession of magic than for ever being an elf. "Those of whom I have known have not been... Dalish, I'm afraid."

Ah, well she's terrifying.

It's a childish thought, snagged and stowed away before it betrays their age by slipping off their tongue. Instead the squint persists, their head turning to focus a dark brown eye better on the Warden. She's an imposing sight, with her chin probably able to clear the top of their head, but it's more than that. Again, the nagging sense of familiarity needles at the dark of their mind, but lots of things were yammering away back there. Including a voice that wasn't even one of their own.

"There's people to help." Simple answers from someone who is not so simple. The supplies Flynn had requested are weighted in their palms, something tangible that they can indeed help-- even if it's something small. "I'd say we have the best trackers and blood hounds after the gods, but it's not like you can even call what spilled out of Ghil's face blood." More like sludge, but maybe that's what ichor looks like? They'll have to stab Solas to find out. "So until there's more info, we're here to help." The supplies are suddenly lifted and offered out to the Warden, a proverbial olive branch should she take it. "You know how elves are-- well actually I have no idea if that joke will work on you. You've lived with other elves before the wardens, right?" So much for not letting youth slip out of them.

[pinayelf]

More surprise kisses ❤️

Bonus: Live Rook Reaction