#v { elias }; how could i ever forget | conscious while possessed

[acemenagerie-a]

(( Bits and bobs about: Elias!

While Elias is nonbinary, he doesn’t super mind when people call him a man or think of him as one; he’s not, but it’s whatever, he knows who he is.  If he’s going to be addressed formally, though, he only accepts being ‘Mx. Bouchard.’  Over everything, he prefers just being ‘Elias’ but sometimes that doesn’t work out.

In his conscious-while-possessed verses, he honestly finds it nice that Jonah goes for being ‘Mr. Bouchard’ because it adds some distance.  When he gets his body back it feels like as clean of a break as he can hope for to be ‘Mx. Bouchard’ and have an address that is his 100%.

In all post-possession scenarios, he still wears his glasses, though they are useless, just because he likes them.  They’re triangles and it makes him happy.  They pretty much always sit on the tip of his nose. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

[ hearth ] sender lights a fire (for Elias)

Action Meme || ACCEPTING @huntloyalty

Elias gave an excited ‘whoop!’ as he heard the first cracklings of the fire followed swiftly by a wave of warmth.  “Thanks for helping me burn that fuckin’ bastard’s shit, Daisy.  Just throwing it in the dump wouldn’t have been quite as cathartic.”

He was fine not seeing how the stuff burned, plenty happy to just listen to the fire, smell the smoke, feel the heat.  All grounding sensations when this act had him giddy and free enough to float away. 

He wasn’t anywhere near done cleaning up the mess that bastard made of his ( and others’ ) life, but this was a good ( and very fun ) step.

[acemenagerie-a]

12, 26, 28 for elias, perhaps?

peek inside... || ACCEPTING

12.     frequently used emojis.

Elias actually doesn’t use emojis that much!  While emojis are easier for him to receive because of screen readers and their associated alt text, he’s never gotten into using them himself.  He's more familiar with ASCII emoticons and has a habit of dictating those over emojis.  But on that note:

1 - :-) 2 - :-D 3 - :-p 4 - :-o 5 - :-(

He also tends to picture emoticons rather than something closer to a smiley when receiving smiley emojis.  So like ‘face with tears of joy’ would be closer to :’-) or :’-D than 😂 or an actual smiling person in Elias’s head.

26.     most used playlist.

oops i made a jam playlist elias would make ( i’d recommend shuffling but i cant tell u want to do )

It is a lot of classic rock, some stuff with a humorous tint to it.  It’s definitely a more upbeat, ‘dance in your underwear’ sort of playlist with a few songs that lowkey would hit him weird if he listened to the lyrics too closely.  

Some of it is late-70s so stuff he may have heard as a kid, some is 80-90s so more stuff he’d have been into at the time.  A few are from after the bodysnatch, but he’s allowed to “catch-up” on music and see what his fave artists had been up to or just listen to new things.  He’s not a fan of most modern radio hits.  The other sorts of songs I imagine him liking are more like... This Playlist Is To Have A Breakdown To

Yes, he may have had a few breakdowns listening to ‘If It Makes You Happy’ but he just loves him some Sheryl Crow normally too. 

28.     five most recent sent text messages

[ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] I just remembered all those ads that bastard happened to see about Star Wars [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] I think I remember critic buzz being bad?  Of all the shit he spied on, couldn’t keep up with modern media worth shit [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] I told you about that creepy reality show he was into yeah?  [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] Anyway what I’m saying is that I don’t care about critics there are 2 whole new Star Wars trilogies and I want to see them! :-D [ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] Do you want to have a movie night?  I’ll make dinner ;-)

[acemenagerie-a]

❝ it’s a little town near watauga lake. very little. nice little mini-market, and that’s about it. ❞ cowboy to elias "tomat osoup" bouchard.

The Sheridan Tapes Starters || ACCEPTING

Elias nodded with a smile, the thumb incessantly rubbing the head of his cane the only indication he was ill at ease.  It would be an understatement to say that the Eye and him didn’t get along and its ilk set his teeth on edge.

He felt bad, though, because Cowboy’s a kid and it felt mean to be nervous, felt mean to carry his baggage into this interaction.  On the other hand, he really wished Oliver hadn’t had to rush off to take care of something.

“Well, that’s still cool.  I myself pretty much grew up in the city.”  He scratched his chin, feeling like he was botching this whole thing.  “What sorta stuff you into?”

[acemenagerie-a]

(( conscious-while-possessed elias watching jonah bleach, tone, and dye his hair grey: … i’ve decided that this is why i hate you ))

[acemenagerie-a]

📱 *rattles cup* spare oliver and elias content? or honestly anyone else ur particularly feeling!! <3

5 + 1 Texts || ACCEPTING

[ ✉ 🚫 Oliver Banks ] Do you actually like me or was this really just a situation of being the only two people in a death dreamscape and you don’t like me but you’re like stuck because I keep asking to hang out and you feel obligated fuck this is so stupid I’m being stupid { Unsent due to insecurity }

[ ✉ 🚫 Oliver Banks ] Oliver help I think I smoked too much and went wait no that’s the missing eyeballs I remember now sorry by the way { Unfinished and unsent due to being baked out of his mind }

[ ✉ 🚫 Oliver Banks ] You know, if you wanted, you could bring or I could buy like an extra toothbrush and stuff so that when you come over and we stay up too late it won’t be inconvenient and is this weird should I ask in person fuck { Unsent due to anxiety }

[ ✉ 🚫 Oliver Banks ] Do people still make mixtapes for people as like gifts?  That bastard wasn’t the gift giving type wait he’s gonna assume I mean for him which is true but he can’t know that fuck  { Unsent due to possible gift spoilers }

[ ✉ 🚫 Oliver Banks ] What is your favorite dish ever? { Unsent due to anxiety }

[ ✉ ➡ Oliver Banks ] Hey, wanted to give you a heads up that dinner may not be ready when you get here.  I may have got finger tattoos the other night and it is slowing me down.  They’re really funny tattoos though so it was worth it ;-)

[acemenagerie-a]

🥘 from the new year party meme, for elias? 🥺

new year’s party || ACCEPTING 🥘 cook something @auspicium

Elias can’t help but grin despite the little bit of chaos that his kitchen becomes when he’s trying something new.  He’s never really cooked with someone before and it’s super exciting and makes his chest tight and warm in the best way.  Sure, he’s shared the kitchen with his roommate in college, but making mac and cheese on the stove while someone else microwaved a Hot Pocket didn’t really count as cooking with someone.

“Okay, so, I’m gonna stir and you’re gonna slowly pour in that vegetable broth, yeah?”

[acemenagerie-a]

(( oh i just realized that conscious-while-possessed elias would’ve known when his mom had died because “he” was the only relative available to handle that sort of thing

oh no

oh no i am incredibly sad ))

[acemenagerie-a]

(( thinking abt how fuckign wild the notion of conscious-while-possessed!elias actually becoming solidly end aligned is just elias actively snacking on jonah’s fear while jonah is being all haughty abt his success

but like also??? the wild interplay of elias having Big Fear of the eye and jonah having Big Fear of the end and they fuckin each embody the other’s biggest fear while inhabiting the same body and like also elias having info jonah doesnt bc he knows that he’s conscious & aware but jonah 100% doesnt know that and that kinda reflecting the fact the end has knowledge the eye cant see and 

it’s 12:30am and it’s been a Week™ ))

[acemenagerie-a]

oof please do elias for GAME OVER

Game Over.  Try Again? || ACCEPTING @praemetuere

Elias’s hands are slick with sweat, though Jonah has chosen to clasp them behind his back to keep from being found out.  Terror thrums at the back of Elias’s skull, though the feeling is nestled in complete confidence.  Jonah fears death too much to ever feel entirely at ease discussing it, but firmly believes that he holds the game-winning ace.  He has hustled his opponent and will come out on top.

Unfortunately for him, he has been playing blind - utterly unaware of the other player nestled in his stolen skull.

“No, the only choice I think that matters is whether you want to kill me or not.”  Jonah says the words with ease, smiling.  His eyes glitter in the dark, flicking periodically to the metal of the knife in Martin’s hand.  Elias settles in to Jonah’s fear.

He puts his thumb on the scale.

In the swirling of choices and power plays and questions of who is doing what for whom, comes another idea.  Killing Jonah Magnus is right.  Not in the way of anger hazed revenge, nor in the sense of fulfilling some grandiose heroic plot, but in the same way that an apple falling to the ground when you drop it is right.

Apples are supposed to fall.  Jonah Magnus is supposed to be dead.

Whatever bet sits between these two men matters little in the face of the cosmic gamble life has made with death.  It is simply time for Jonah to pay up.

As Martin more closely regards the body of Jonah, Elias feels his breathing start to pick up.  If one was watching closely, they might notice the breathing of the eyeless body has also picked up pace.  Elias’s mouth dries and his heart thuds in his chest.  The bud of fear in the back of his skull blossoms into delicious panic.

The knife catches the limited light beautifully as it is raised into the air.

Jonah lets out a choked, terrified plea, pulling out a random horrific bit of information to lob into Martin’s skull like a brick - anything to weasel free of losing.  Peter claps his shoulder with a smug grin and mist clouds Jonah’s eyes.

“I win, Elias.”

“No! No no no no no...!”  Elias and Jonah’s bodies both hyperventilate, slightly off-beat with one another like there is a delay in the signal.

Elias feels Jonah being stabbed a moment after the knife slides between his ribs.  Jonah is howling with his throat, trying to claw out of Peter’s grasp like a wounded animal.  A bloodstain begins soaking through the shirt and vest adorning Elias’s body, right where Jonah’s has been stabbed.

Jonah’s grip on Elias body begins to go slack and Elias pushes to have his space back.  However, Jonah clings fervently to life, fighting the encroaching oblivion with every stuttered gasp and bloody cough.  Then, collapsed on the ground, clutching a wound in a stolen body, Jonah watches himself die.

Elias, for his part, gets the tiniest moment of pure nothing that he’d longed for before jolting back into consciousness.  He sits up, coughing up more blood in the middle of Peter talking.  Unconcerned with whatever he’s interrupted, he leans forward and taps the back of his skull to get Jonah’s eyes out.  Then he stands and squishes them like grapes beneath his shoe.  

For now, he is still warm, but a death pallor has already begun to settle in.  Blood continues oozing from the wound and marks the only bit of movement on his chest.  He is not breathing, though he flashes a languid smile and waves.

“Hey, nice to actually meet you guys; Jonah really did me a disservice, yeah?”

[acemenagerie-a]

👄 + oliver for elias i'm Curious

Talk About ‘Em || ACCEPTING @auspicium

Elias runs his hand through his hair.  “Honestly?  Of all the people I could have as the one person I can communicate with while being super possessed, think I lucked out.  I may be shallow, but he’s not exactly bad to look at and has not tried to steal my dream eyeballs, so, yeah, all things considered, I think I’ve really lucked out in the ‘who you get to talk to while possessed’ lottery.  Dreamscape’s a little bleak for my taste, but beggars can’t be choosers, yeah?”

[acemenagerie-a]

Awake

{ drive link }

(( posting this now bc definitely the perf time to post a fic is 7am when u havent slept 

have this fic of elias having an Even Worse Time than i usually give him.  tfw u get possessed and u’re 1000% conscious the whole time oops

content warnings under the cut ^^ ))

eye horror, death, violence, murder, guns, manipulation, allusions to illness, suicidal ideation, injury, possession, descriptions that may be similar to depersonalization and/or derealization

[acemenagerie-a]

(( elias, stuck in his own body in his conscious while possessed verse just trying to cope:  do you wish your bath could be the soup? ))

[acemenagerie-a]

“ i hope you know just how much i believe in you. ” Somft.... 👉👈🥺

Sentence Starters || ACCEPTING

Elias froze, instantly forgetting about what he had been doing as those words sat in his skull.  For a moment, he was with Oliver and something in him processed the intent of the words, the kindness, the gentleness.  Then, he was back in school listening to a parade of teachers telling him about his “great potential” and how much they “believed he’d do great things one day.”  

You disappointed them.  All of them.  You’re a disappointment, yeah?

When he came back to the present moment, he realized he was shaking, throat tight, sobbing without tears.  “W-well you put a bet on a losing horse, yeah?”  He attempted to joke, tried to laugh, but the attempt cracked instantly.

He curled inward on himself as if trying to make himself small enough to fade from view entirely.  “Don’t.  Don’t don’t don’t.... Because then I’ll.... I’ll let you down.  And I don’t want to!  I don’t wanna let you down but I disappoint everyone.  I’m a disappointment.”

[acemenagerie-a]

(( I feel like Conscious While Possessed Elias, post-possession, is partially like “Well, yeah, it was an objectively traumatizing experience that I still have to work through, but at the very least when other stuff came up, I had plenty of years to just process it - nothing better to do.  So at least what I missed didn’t hit at one time, I guess, and I’ve accepted everything and am fine on that front.”

And then has a full on breakdown at 2am about his mother dying and the fact the last time they spoke was an argument about him working at the Institute and that Jonah’s bare minimal obligation funeral was better than anything he himself could’ve actually provided and oh wow his feelings about his mother are really muddy and complicated

All like it had just happened and he’s just ‘????’ because he felt like he had processed everything years ago because that had been all he could do but apparently he’d been wrong. ))

[acemenagerie-a]

❛❛ C’mere. Lean on me. ❜❜ somft for elias...

Somft™ || ACCEPTING @auspicium

Following directions, Elias leaned against Oliver and the feeling of someone against him kept him somewhat grounded.  This was his body.  He was in control.  He wasn’t dreaming.

“Sorry I just... hard to remember that I’m still me all the time...”  His voice sounded oddly distant to his ears and fear trilled somewhere in his body.  “I’ve gotta be keeping you from something, yeah?  You... I don’t wanna keep you from something important.  I mean...”  What was he talking about?

“I dunno what I’m saying, to be honest.”  He forced up a chuckle.  “Just ignore me!”  Saying that made the fear worse, though; being ignored right now would be impossible to stomach.  He wouldn’t articulate as much, though, and couldn’t even if he’d wanted to.  It was hard enough trying to be aware of his thoughts while also keeping track of his body and limbs and feelings.