#using this as an opportunity to state the obvious that if you're a minor!! I do not wanna know that ur engaging w/my content lmao!!!

[pondslime]

obsessed w/minors who add DNI IF ADULT/NSFW!!!! to their descriptions and then proceed to follow adult/nsfw accounts dsjhjfdshjdsfhdfs what are we doin here

[horseshoegirl]

Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 10 - Let's Dance

📝 Okay, Peeps! This is pure fluff with some spice! I also love this song, so please check it out!

Speaking of songs, I made the official playlist for this fic! Not sure if you guys listen, but it's linked in the master list if you guys want to check it out!

18+ minors DNI. Ageless and blank blogs are blocked without warning.

❗+18, strong language, godmother reader/original female character, original child, sexual themes (I mean Smut, so get outta here if you ain't +18), mentions of a stalker, grieving, and shitty family dynamics.

#7k Words

Part 9 | Masterlist | Part 11

You never expected Jake to want to take you to the annual state fair for your first date. It seemed out of character for someone like him. Then you realized it didn't seem that farfetched. If he grew up on a ranch in Texas, he probably went to these all the time.

You had been at the grocery store when his text came through. Jake had sent you the flyer, along with a message.

You. Me. Saturday + Dinner ;)

And before you could reply, there was another text. 

Penny was going to take Sadie sailing away.

While some part of you was slightly surprised he followed through on his ask, you had to glance down both ends of the baking aisle to make sure you were alone before squealing and jogging a little on the spot.

It had been a few days since the hallway. Jake and you spent at least another half hour tied up in each other's arms, and you practically had to peel yourself away from him. You were so giddy the rest of the morning, and then some, after you had forced yourself to go back to bed, trying to stay as still as possible with Nat still asleep next to you.

Sitting across from him at breakfast, he acted as if nothing had happened between the two of you, that he was just friendly Jake, leading you to believe maybe it had all been a fever dream caused by the discomfort of the storm.  

But when he went to place his glass in the sink while you were washing the dishes, he slyly touched your hip, letting his fingers slide across the fabric of your jeans just below your waistline, whispering, "Thank you, Darlin'" roughly into your ear before he returned to the table. 

Yup, definitely not a dream.

So while you were working with Penny the day before the date, she didn’t waste the opportunity to grill you about it. Hard. 

“You have a date.” 

You blushed. “Penny..” 

“Where is he taking you?” she pressed.

“He didn’t tell you, seeing as you're now his accomplice?” you countered, trying to finish mixing a cocktail someone ordered.

“Tell who what?”

Your head shot up to see Phoenix leaning up against the bar. "When did you get here? Why are you here?"

“I’m helping Penny with something. Now spill…” 

Penny beat you to it, leaning over the bar and resting on her elbows when she told Nat, “Liz has a date. With Hangman.”

Nat smirked. “Oh, so him pressing you up against the wall in your hallway didn’t do it?” 

“Elizabeth Beck!” Penny gasped.  You squealed, dropping to the ground behind the bar, Phoenix laughing at your antics. “I can’t believe you saw that.” 

“I had to go to the bathroom,” Nat said like it was obvious. “It’s not every day you see your best friend getting rammed up against a wall like that.” 

“Oh, good lord.” 

"Get back up here," Penny tapped your leg with herself softly, you standing up with a blush overcoming your face. She wrapped her arm around your waist, pulling you into her side.

"Tell us," she tried again. "We aren't judging. We just want details."

You relented, quickly sputtering, "He's taking me to the fair."

They oo'd in response, making you shy away from Penny and reach for the drink you made, walking over to the person who ordered it sitting on the other side of the bar. 

Nat followed you, quickly asking, "What will you wear? Something sexy?"

You glowered at her once you placed the drink down. "It's the fair, Nat."

Penny wasn't that far behind, bumping you on the hip. "There's nothing wrong with showing off."

You stuttered, trying to come up with some response that wasn't your usual reply of, 'I'm not like that,’ until someone shouted for Penny, distracting the three of you. She pouted, realizing the conversation would continue without her before leaving you and Phoenix alone. 

“I’m just teasing you,” Nat offered. “I said I would back you up with this, and I will.”

You paused, gripping the edge of the bar. “Does the rest of the team know?” you asked hesitantly. 

Nat shook her head. “I think Coyote knows something. He’s the closest with Jake.” 

It struck you momentarily that this was the first time you heard Nat refer to Jake by his first name. It was always Hangman or Bagman. His last name was even rarer. It might have been a small change, but it showed you Nat was serious about this. It brought a small smile to your face. 

“As for the others, Payback and Fanboy are off in their own world half the time to notice, and Bob is too shy to let on. I can’t say anything about Bradley, though.” 

You frowned. This wasn’t the first time you thought about Bradley and what he might say or do if he found out. He was so heated on New Year's. If he reacted that badly, what would be his reaction when he found out his claims weren’t exactly untrue?

"Can we not tell Bradley? At least for now?” 

Nat shot you a look. “Really?”

“I’m serious, Nat. He was so angry on New Year's Eve. It was scary.”

"Maybe he has a crush on you."

You wretched, the action making you hack. “Ew, no way. He's like a brother to me.”

"Then you should really tell him."

You shook your head. "It's just one date, Nat. I have no idea if anything will come of it."

She slapped your forearm, exclaiming,  "We both know that's not true. You so have it for Hangman. It's not funny."

"It's one date. Besides," you shrugged before saying, "I think it has to do with Sadie."

“Those two have a professional rivalry,” She said thoughtfully. “Maybe it’s extending over to whoever is the better uncle.” 

“God, I hope not,” you shuttered. It was one thing to argue about who the better pilot was. It was another to include Sadie into the mix.

At the mention of Sadie, you looked up at the time, realizing you were five minutes over your shift and late to pick her up. “Shit, I'm late. I gotta go pick Sadie up from Soccer practice.”

Natasha leaned back from the bar, ready to return to what she was helping Penny with but not before saying, “Just think about it, Liz. It should come from you rather than anyone else.”

Saying a quick goodbye to Penny, you clocked out and gathered your bag. But as soon as you walked out the doors, that damn white car was the first thing you saw.

This car always seemed to be there - it hadn’t done anything but park in the Hard Deck parking lot and was driving you insane. You strangely found yourself looking for it when you drove around town. Or in the parking lot of Sadie’s school. You thought you saw it once parked outside of your house but played it off as being paranoid. 

You usually weren’t this suspicious or obsessive about these things, but it was enough to make you feel concerned. Turning on your heel, you marched back into the Hard Deck, Penny frowning from behind the bar when she saw you. 

“Have you seen that car before, Penny? The white one with the spoiler on the back?” 

You could tell she was thinking about it, pinching her eyebrows together before finally recalling, “Oh, it was a nice young man looking for a surf spot. He came in one day asking, and I told him about the overnight rule.”

You heard nothing beyond young man. “You remember the night I closed? You told Jake I was closing by myself?” 

She nodded. “Yeah, that was a little while ago.”

“That car was there then. It would have been too early for surfers.”

But she only shook her head. “With everything that's happened with CPS and that letter, I’m sure you're just being paranoid, Liz,” she said before walking over to the other side of the bar with a drink in her hand.

If you could only believe it was just paranoia.

__

Jake was going to pick you up at 11, and it being 10:30, you were still stressing over what to wear. Your bedroom looked like the morning of the hike. Clothes flung in every corner, hangers hanging off random hooks and knobs.

Everything you held up against yourself to look at in the mirror either felt too plain or too out there for a state fair. You needed help, and you needed it badly. You pulled out your phone, scrolling down your contacts, stopping when your fingers hovered over Ridely's number.

But then, instantly, you remember you couldn’t call her. You slid down the footboard of your bed, back hurting with the effort as your phone dangled from your fingertips, your head hung low between your legs. 

She would always ask you when you called if you had met anyone, if you had gone on any dates, teasing you and telling you repeatedly that you needed someone in your life. But now, you couldn’t even tell her you were going on a date. You couldn’t call her afterwards and talk about it like sisters could. 

She’d never get to meet Jake. To give him a shovel talk like you did with her dates. The two would never sit across from each other at the dinner table, bickering with each other like you were sure they would, their personalities clashing hard. She wouldn't have approved of him initially, much like you hadn't. But she would have warmed up to him by knowing how good he was with Sadie.

But then you spiralled, admonishing yourself for thinking that far ahead. It was only a first date. By the end of today, you might come to find you had a horrible time, and any chance at any type of relationship with Jake would be ruined.

It was only a first date.

And you couldn't tell her.

The sobs worked their way up your throat before you knew you were crying, begging to be let out and heard. Tears streamed down your face, the drops pooling on your bedroom floor.

But then Sadie’s voice carried from your front door, shouting out that Aunt Penny and Nat were here. You scrambled to get up, reaching for the closest piece of clothing to put away. 

Penny appeared in your doorway as you wiped at your face, attempting to fold up a sweater. She carefully walked up behind you, placing her hand on your shoulder. But her touch was too much, and you turned, pulling her into a hug, the tears you tried so hard to stop refusing to listen to you.

"I'm so sorry, Penny," you wept into her shoulder. It didn't help when you opened your eyes over her shoulder, the shoebox was the first thing you saw sitting up on the top shelf.

Penny hushed you, her voice wavering as she stroked your back soothingly, "Nope, you're not apologizing for that. Let it out, Liz." 

"I just..." you gasped as another sob wracked your chest. But Penny pulled back, taking your face between her hands, her thumbs wiping away your running mascara. 

"You'd don't need to tell me. We all know you miss her."

Penny let you cry into her chest for a few minutes, her own tears starting to mix with yours, before pressing a kiss to your forehead and reaching for a button-up blouse lying on your bed.

"Now, come on," she sniffed, holding it up for you. "We will find you the best first date outfit amongst this mess."

She did. Just in time for Nat to fix your makeup and for Sadie to snap a few photos of you with her Polaroid. And right at 11, you opened the door to a bouquet blocking Jake’s face. 

“You got me flowers?” you said, greeting him with a smile when he lowered them to reveal his face. Jake carefully placed them into your outstretched hand, grinning when you immediately brought them to your face to smell them. 

“I’m sorry they're not tulips.” 

You shook your head, smiling into the bouquet. “It doesn’t matter what they are. Thank you, Jake.” 

And then, in something that made you smile, he pulled out a single flower wrapped in a bow from his back pocket. “I figured I should keep with tradition.”

You stepped forward, hand pressing to Jake's shoulder as you pressed your lips to his. Letting Jake deepen the kiss, he wrapped his arms around your waist, mindful of the flowers in the crook of your arm. But you pulled back when you felt his hands sliding down your back towards your ass. 

“We have eyes and ears on us from the living room,” you warned him, jerking your head towards your hallway. Not that Penny or Nat would let Sadie see anything untoward from their hiding spot behind the wall. But you could do without the teasing from them afterwards.

Jake grinned, leaning over to call out, "Bug!"

Turning to face your hallway, you spied Sadie stumbling out from behind the wall like she had been pushed. She huffed at someone, probably at Nat, then comically straightened her shirt before making her way to the door.

"Hi, Uncle Jake," she greeted him, though her voice lacked the usual cheeriness it always had. Jake let you go to kneel in front of her, holding out the flower. "Miss Sadie, will you accept this flower so I can spend the day with your aunt?"

Sadie's face remained stoic as she reached out to take the flower from his hand, bringing it up to her face as she twirled it once. Jake stood up, slightly worried about her non-reaction. But you knew exactly what she was doing, and Jake was falling for it hook, line and sinker.

In Sadie fashion, she finally grinned at him, holding her free hand up to her forehead in a salute, cheekily saying, "Have her home by no later than 11!"

You laughed when Jake saluted her back. Sadie, content with the reaction, ran back inside to find Penny so they could put her flower in some water.

"Was I just given a curfew by a ten-year-old?"

"Yup."

---

The benefit of getting to the fairgrounds a little bit earlier, you didn’t have to wait in line for rides. And boy, were you surprised when Jake dragged you around to a bunch of them. Teacups, bumper cars,  going down those super long slides in a potato sack more than once, you plastered up against his chest. If the two of you could go on it, Jake ensured you did.

A part of you was slightly pleased he wanted to. It helped with the slight nervousness in your stomach, both from this morning and from being with Jake in this context. You had to remind yourself time and time again that Jake was the same as he had always been. But it became easier with each ride, the two of you laughing way harder than you should for a Saturday morning. 

It took your stomach rumbling loudly enough for Jake to kiss your cheek and drag you to the food stands. After asking what you wanted, he told you to find a seat, saying there was no possible way you were paying for yourself. You had huffed at him, but he only pecked your forehead before gently turning you by your shoulders and sending you on your way.

You found a picnic bench away from the stands under a tree. It was the perfect spot, away from other seats, for you and Jake to talk. He found you easily enough, handing you your corn on the cob on a paper plate before placing his hot dog down on the table and climbing over the bench to sit next to you.

But it occurred to you, as you started to nibble on the cob, you didn’t really know that much about him. Sure, you knew he was a fighter pilot, from Texas, from a big family with troubling dynamics. He grew up on a ranch. He was a few years older than you. He had a reputation. 

But you didn’t know the other important stuff. 

“What’s your favourite colour?” you asked, breaking the silence. 

“What?” 

“What’s your favourite colour?” you said again, laughing. 

He shot you a look. “We’re really doing this?” 

“You're the one that wanted to take me out on a date,” you shrugged, taking another bite of your cob. “So spill. What’s your favourite colour?” 

“Orange.”  He admitted after a second. "You?"

“Blue-Green. But not turquoise,” you were quick to correct. “The blue-green you see out in the sea.”

Jake nodded thoughtfully but didn’t say anything.

“This is the part where you ask me a different question,” you roughly whispered, leaning over to tease him.

Jake chuckled, making a show of needing to think about his question before finally asking, “Most embarrassing moment?” 

You giggled at the memory. “When Sadie was born. I was rushing to leave the hospital cause I was late for my shift. The nurse told me I could use the stairwells, but I triggered the emergency exit fire alarm on the door instead.” 

Jake snickered with a mouthful of his hot dog. 

“Hey, they tell you you can use those doors. I was misinformed.” 

Jake shook his head fondly. "Okay, your turn."

“Did you always want to be in the Navy? Flying planes?” you asked, sobering the conversation. Jake looked at you for a minute before staring down at his plate. “Remember how I said my future was more or less planned out?”

You nodded, taking another bite of your corn on the cob, listening as he continued. “My grandfather served in the Navy. He saw how much I didn’t want to follow in my brother’s footsteps and started talking to me about his deployments.” 

Jake grabbed a napkin off the table, wiping away a speck of mustard from the corner of his mouth before explaining, "My dad had been pressuring me throughout college to come home and take over the ranch since I put my foot down about football. I spent a summer with my grandfather up at a Navy base in Fort Worth, learning, watching, and taking everything in. I got to see a little bit of everything, but the fighter squadron... there was something freeing in seeing them up there."

You could tell he was lost in his head, reminiscing about a time when he was trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life, away from people's impressions and opinions. If you ever met Jake's dad, you'd make sure he knew what you thought about the treatment of his youngest son.

"Then he asked if I wanted to join when I graduated," He shrugged. “One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. He passed five years ago.” 

Listening to Jake recount his story made your heart ache, knowing he would have been expected to live out a future somebody else had carved for him had somebody not shown him a different way. Though it brought comfort to know Jake had somebody in his corner, two people looking out for him if you considered his sister. You reached out, letting your hand graze up and down his forearm in comfort. 

“He was looking out for you,” you offered kindly.

“He would have liked you,” he wondered aloud. “And he would have spoiled Sadie to no end.”

You let the silence stretch on, knowing Jake would need a few seconds to regain his composure. But then he suddenly said aloud, “You said Ridley sent your college admissions for you. What did you study?” 

You swallowed hard at the mention of Ridley, a queasiness settling in your stomach as this morning was still too fresh on your mind.

“English,” you managed to say. “The bookcase in my family room wasn’t a dead giveaway?”

“Anyone can be a bookworm,” he remarked, the look on his face indicating he expected you to continue.

“I wrote a lot in high school,” you shrugged. “Fiction, poetry… short stories. Ridley found them one day after we moved, submitting a couple to a few English and creative writing programs.”

Jake took another bite of his food before asking, “You’re a writer?”

You nodded. “Trying to be.”

“Anything I can read?” He asked playfully, knocking your shoulder. You smirked, pushing back into him as you said, “Maybe one day.”

You didn’t know if asking something like this on a date you thought was going well was proper. But you were curious anyway when you casually said, “Your first kiss?” 

But Jake wasn’t ashamed to answer, not that you expected him to be. The man oozed confidence. “Highschool. After my first touchdown. One of the cheerleaders at the side bench. The worst experience of my life.” 

“I knew you were a jock,” you snorted. 

“What about you?”

“I was a geek - in the library most weekends.” 

“No, your first kiss.” 

“Oh… um..” you hesitated before finally admitting, “You.”

You may as well have sucker-punched him in the gut. Jake turned to face you,  shock then confusion covering his face, as if you didn’t just admit to him the kiss at three AM in your hallway was the first time you’d ever been kissed.

His reaction made you look down into your lap, blending the edge of your paper plate back and forth, before giving into the urge to fill the silence. “I’ve gone on dates. But they never went past the first one. Either things didn’t work out, or I got ghosted. It made me wonder what I was doing wrong.”

Jake cleared his throat. “So you’ve never…?”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence for you to know what he was asking. You shook your head, your blush spreading down your neck. “Does that surprise you?” 

“Someone like you, how didn’t anyone..?” 

“I’ve never trusted someone enough to do it with,” you shrugged. You felt embarrassed, not that you should have been. But it was a well know fact Jake got around. That he was, for lack of a better word, experienced. 

It wasn’t like the opportunity didn’t present itself while you were at college. But the parties and causal thing just wasn’t for you. And all the guys seemed like walking red flags. Your insecurities also didn’t help. But they weren’t as bad back then as they are now. And then Sadie came along, and you put any thought of dating aside. 

“Does that bother you?” you asked meekly, scared of his answer. 

Jake turned, his knee knocking yours as he dropped his plate to the bench, wiping his hand on his shorts before reaching out to stroke the outside of your thigh. His voice was firm when he answered, “Absolutely not. I’m just surprised.” 

You didn’t know you had been holding your breath when you found yourself letting out a sigh of relief. 

“Though I can’t lie, I’m thinking about all the ways I can corrupt your innocent little soul.”

You smirked, shaking your head. "You're a menace."

He returns your grin, unfazed by your response. “Now, what else did you want to ask me? Since we are doing the question thing.”

You thought about it for a second before asking, “What were you going to tell me on New Year’s Eve?” 

But rather than freeze up like he did the other times you asked, Jake smiled fondly at you, hand still stroking the outside of your leg. “What? Me giving you the best first kiss of your life in your hallway at three AM wasn’t enough? Clearly, I didn’t do my job right. ” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but Jake leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before leaning back. “I was going to ask if you wanted to start the year off by going on a date with me.” 

You gulped. “You’ve been thinking about this awhile then?” 

“Since Sadie invited me on the hike.” 

The uneasiness in your stomach disappeared with the mention of Sadie, and you squeezed his wrist in silent thanks before reaching for your food. But then Jake said something that made you pause.

“I think she’s trying to play matchmaker with her subtle hints and pictures…” He froze, realizing what he just said out loud. You dropped the cob from your mouth, looking over at him in shock. 

“She didn’t!” You exclaimed, catching on to what he didn’t say. “Oh, that insect! I knew she sent you something suspicious with those photos!” 

“Hey, I promised her I wouldn’t say anything,” he said, sounding guilty for breaking his promise. Then your mind flashed back to the video chat you had with Jake. “Wait, Coyote… at the end of our call..” 

Jake closed his eyes, tilting his head back to the sky as you exclaimed, “Was I the photo in your cockpit?!”

___

Jake told you he wanted to take this slow. 

You had agreed to the both of you taking it slow. 

Hell, it was your first date. 

But damn, he was not making it easy.

After lunch, Jake wanted to take you to the arcade on the other side of the fairgrounds before the two of you had dinner. Buying a bag full of coins, he placed them in the palm of your hand, telling you to pick whatever you wanted. But you wouldn't have that, telling him the two of you would take turns deciding what to play.

But no matter what game the two of you decided on, you were sure he was purposely trying to mess you up by making himself as distractingly attractive as possible.

It all started with the air hockey table. A few occasional glances here or there as you knocked the puck back and forth along the table. Then it was the flirty trash talk, a playful diss being said when one of you would score against the other, leading you to shout out, "Bite me, Hangman."

But he smirked and cockily replied, "I have."

The blush that came next could have rivalled Rooster's angry face.

Next came the basketball hoops. Jake went first, and despite you standing in his line of sight, leaning up against the machine to the side, Jake didn't break his focus as he made every shot. You knew it was a failed attempt from the start anyway, given how focused he would have to be flying an F-18.

Unfortunately, you didn't have much luck when it came to your turn. He came up behind you, his hands on your hips, pressing kisses to your cheek and neck, hoping it would distract you enough to miss your shots and allow him to win the game, which he did.

And out of all things, they had axe throwing. If this man could throw a dart with that much accuracy, he had no trouble with the axes. Watching him toss the axe from over his head, muscles bulging, the look of concentration on his face.

The next time you needed firewood for the pit in the backyard, you would ask Jake for some help splitting it, maybe on a hot day.

It got so bad you had to pull him back by his hand, holding on to yours, right in the middle of the crowd as he was leading you to another game, only to grab him by the back of his neck and lay one on him.

But what really got you was when it came time to redeem the tickets, Jake asked if the two of you could pick something out for Sadie - the Navy-themed teddy bear was looped tightly around the straps of your bag as the two of you walked to one of the pop-up restaurants the fair was hosting. 

Jake went to find a table as you went to find the bathroom. You stared at yourself in the mirror, realizing your worries this morning and even your vocalizations to Jake in your hallway had been for nothing. 

Deep down, you knew Ridley would tell you to stop being so anxious about this and go for it. Jake had already proved, each and every time, he was nothing like the guys that ghosted you or the guys you encountered at school—more than the cocky aviator type you painted him for looking for a good time. Even your lack of experience didn’t phase him and you being the photo in his cockpit? Where did that come from? 

And it suddenly struck you that you were doing the same thing you had ratted the squad out for, what his father had been doing to him. Jake was more than what others painted him for. Sadie had realized it long before anyone else did. Before you did. And it took her inviting Jake to a Saturday night and on the hike for you to realize. 

Who cares about what he did before he met you? Or what everyone believed he should be doing. He was here, with you, and wanted to be in Sadie’s life. 

You were done worrying about what-ifs. Come what may, you thought. You trusted Jake, and you wanted to be with him. In telling yourself that, you realized it was time you allowed yourself to believe in what you refused to admit. 

There was nothing wrong with being in love with Jake Seresin. 

Walking back, you searched the crowd for Jake, finding him seated at a table, speaking with a waitress. You stepped forward, but out of the blue, somebody checked your shoulder, making you stumble forward. Catching yourself on a nearby empty table, you turned around, angrily calling out, “Watch where your going, Asshole!” 

There was a man in a white sweater with his hood up. He didn’t turn around at your voice. Instead, he continued walking down towards the way you had come. You scoffed, adjusting your bag hanging off your shoulder before going to find Jake. 

“And here I thought you might have escaped through the window.” He joked, watching as you approached. The waitress was gone, and in his hands were two menus. 

“As if I’d leave you now,” you scoffed, placing a hand on his shoulder to balance yourself as you climbed into the seat next to him. Once you were settled, you hooked your arm through his, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“What?” you could hear the smile in his voice as he asked, holding out one of the menus to you. But you could only shake your head, smiling fondly into his sleeve as you grabbed the menu from him. “Nothing. I’m just having a good time.”

After ordering and while waiting for the food, you learned Jake was a natural-born storyteller. The minute you asked him about what life was like growing up on a ranch, he launched into multiple stories of shenanigans he and Janet got into, one story in particular almost making you fall out of your chair laughing - Jake telling you he got drunk on a bottle of Rye in high school and ended up walking home, only for his family to have found him passed out in a hay bale in the field the next morning. Or the barn dog everyone hated, a grumpy thing whose bite was worse than its bark. 

"And right there, under all those blankets and saddle pads, was the damn Jack Russell, snapping away and chasing us outta the barn at our heels."

Laughing into your glass of wine, you relayed your own story about how Sadie came about her nickname, bringing ladybugs in from the backyard an empty water bottle and how she forgot to screw the top on. Jake fell into your side, laughing when you explained you couldn’t stop finding ladybugs for weeks afterwards. 

The conversation continued throughout dinner, Jake learning you broke your wrist skating when you were 15. You learned exactly what his father had planned for him until his grandfather stepped, only furthering your dislike for the man. While you already knew both of you had the same taste in music, you weren’t surprised Jake had a soft spot for country music.

And when your meal was finished, Jake led you out of the makeshift tent; his arm lopped through yours as you snuggled happily up against his side. When you moved towards the parking lot, Jake tugged on your hand, pulling you back into his chest, saying, “I have one more thing planned.”

Yet, when he dragged you over to the line for the Ferris wheel, you felt like you were going to throw up. And you tried, you really did, not to let on that you were terrified to go up in the air. This date was going wonderfully, and you didn’t want to ruin it with something so trivial as this.

So you waited in line with him, listening to him continue the conversation about how he realized he wasn’t meant for football like his brother, even though he loved to watch. But every time the machine stopped and the seats, carts, or cars, whatever they were called, swung with the momentum, you had to force yourself not to jolt.

When your turn came in the line, you tried not to grip Jake’s hand tighter than you should when he helped you into your seat. To loosen your shoulders from being too tight and slouch your back when it was too straight. And when it started to move, you shot your hands out wide, one going for the bar in front of Jake, the other to your side of the cart.

When it stopped, you swallowed hard. Jake looked at you, amused, before finally stating, “You’re afraid of heights.” 

“Not really…” you said, looking over the side, wondering how quickly the maintenance crew put up the blasted thing and if they had any missing blots or screws afterwards. 

“Come now, you can tell me,” he leaned forward, placing his hand on your wrist of the hand gripping the handlebar. He pressed his nose against your ear, his voice buzzing as he said lowly, “I won’t judge.” 

Something metal creaked beneath you, making you jolt, your hand now covering your heart. “It’s not really heights.” 

“No?” he murmured lowly. You knew what he was doing, the cocky fucker. No amount of distraction or persuasion would get your mind off the empty space below you. Or get you to admit something you knew he would most definitely take some sort of defence to. 

Or worse, try and fix it. Which he was capable of doing. 

Jake suddenly rocked back in the seat back, hard. You squealed, plastering yourself into his side, gripping his body tight as you exclaimed, “Flying! I have a fear of flying!”

His hand slid down from over the back seat, finding your hip bone and gripping it tight, tugging you closer. “Now, was that so bad?” 

Hiding your face into his shoulder, you replied, “Yes, especially after what you told me. And you're a pilot.” 

“A pilot who could help you get over this fear.” 

You shook your head against his chest. “Nope. I’m not stepping foot in that thing.”

“You wound me, darling,” he said, exasperated. “Truly.”

“It’s not that I’m against it,” you replied, adjusting yourself against his side, Jake’s hands making sure there wasn’t an inch between the two of you.

“Mav’s offered countless times when he takes Sadie up … I don’t know,” you finished lamely. “I just can’t stand the thought of no ground beneath my feet.”

"I bet I could change your mind."

“Not going to happen,” you challenged back. 

“Nope, I guarantee you, I will get you into a plane."

You laughed hoarsely at his words. “Jake…” 

“You and me, our next date. I’m calling it.” 

“Maybe I’ll sit in it. But that’s it.” 

“Nope. If you’re dating a pilot, you must take advantage of that.”

“What about you?” you asked, hoping to get him off-topic. “What are you afraid of?”

But Jake’s laughter died down, his eyes unfocused stared off into the distance. It wasn’t that he didn’t know - The same fear had followed him since high school, on deployments and in the quiet hours when nobody else was around. If he said it out loud, it would, without a doubt, give it power. 

And if it had power, it would ruin his chances with you.

You gave him a few minutes, figuring he needed time to think about it. “Is it a hard one?

“Look,” he jutted his head forward. You sat up, turning your head to look out over the field, expecting to find something weird. But you didn’t need to search the crowd or look through the stands. It was obvious what Jake was pointing out to you. 

“Whoa.”

Even if it freaked you out, Jake timed the Ferris Wheel perfectly. The sunset was gorgeous, with streaks of soft pastel yellows, pinks, and even hints of purple. The blue was even gentler than the bright hue of the everyday sky. 

“It’s so….” you started, but couldn’t finish. You were too in awe of the sight in front of you. 

“Beautiful,” he finished for you. It certainly is, you thought. But when you glanced over at him, you caught his eyes on you.

“You’re not watching the sunset, are you?” 

“Nope.”

You blushed, deciding to press your cheek back into his chest and gazing at the sky. You could get used to this, you thought, as Jake grabbed the junction of your knee, pulling your legs over his. 

With the movement or sounds of creaking metal no longer bothering you, you felt content to snuggle into Jake’s side as the Ferris Wheel swung you both forward again. 

He pressed his lips to your forehead, murmuring, “I’m still getting you on a plane.” 

“Jake…” 

___

The sun had set when Jake and you got off the Ferris wheel. He led you back to his truck with an arm around your waist, content to press the occasional kiss into your hair as the pair of you navigated the crowds.

Jake guided you to the passenger side when you reached the truck. The both of you were hidden out of view from any on-lookers who were heading home. You pressed yourself up against the side as he reached for the handle, ever the gentleman, to open the door and help you up into your seat. But as he turned his head to look at you, you held your head up to look at him with a shy smile. 

That shy smile, and the way the light hit the corners of your eyes, had him sucking in a sharp breath. His hand lost its grip, sliding along the side of the truck as he slowly stepped toward you. Watching as he approached you with a heated gaze, you timidly bit the bottom of your lip.

You couldn't see the stars behind his head, nor the lights from the fairgrounds or the warm glow of the string lights making up the parking lot. You could only see him towering over you, his arm stretching out to rest above your head, cocooning between him and the truck. His other hand landed on your cheek, his thumb softly stroking the skin, then gently releasing your lip from its hold before replacing it with his lips.

Moaning against his mouth, you slid your hand up his chest. It was a slow kiss, Jake's tongue tracing the inside of your mouth as if the two of you had all the time in the world.

Jake's hand slithered down your side, finding a grip on your leg. The heel of your boot caught on the step of the truck at his touch, allowing Jake the space he needed to situate himself between your legs, pinning you up against the frame. He nibbed at your neck, teeth working on marking up the opposite side of his handiwork from the hallway. There were bruises, much to your pleasure or displeasure, and you had spent at least half an hour each morning since covering it up. And Jake clearly wanted to add more to it.

But it didn’t stop you from attempting to return the favour, as your mouth managed to land on Jake’s cheek, working down towards his jawline as he tilted his head back. You felt the small spikes of a five o’clock shadow under your soft lips, pressing kisses to his skin. Then in a tiny spark of confidence, you closed them around a patch of skin.

“Fuck Liz,” he growled out, hand tightening on your thigh. “We need to go slow. What happened to not putting out on the first date?”

You let his neck go with a sharp intake of breath. "This is slow."

"Slow is driving you home, walking you to your front door," rasped after a kiss, diving back for another one before adding, "Kissing you goodnight and asking when I can see you again."

“Then why were you teasing me all day?” you gasped out. “I’m just following your lead.”

Jake pulled sharply back, the hand above your head thumping hard on the metal. “I’m not taking you up against my truck in the middle of a dirt parking lot for your first time.”

"Stereotypes are overrated."

Jake growled. You were driving him crazy, testing his resolve, especially after what you admitted to him earlier. It only confirmed he needed to take this slow with you.

Then again, another part of him was elated that he'd be the only one to have ever touched you like this, to feel you like this. That the sounds rising from your body were only because of him.

After securely wrapping your leg around his waist, Jake went for the center of your blouse, fingers single-handly making quick work of the small buttons.

"You would, wouldn't you?"  He groaned, fingers searching underneath the helm for the top of your bra before giving a sharp tug down, exposing your nipple to the air. You gasped at the action, the night air caressing your skin. 

"Let me do this to you out in the middle of nowhere," he murmured against your skin in between kisses, working inch by inch down to your breast.  "Where anyone could walk by."

In three seconds, Jake had your entire breast in his mouth, jaw tense as he sucked hard, his tongue toying with your nipple. You mewled, not used to the sensation.

"Fuck Jake," you whimpered, your head hitting the door as you looked up to the stars, blindly raking your fingers through his hair. 

He let it go with a pop. "Pay attention, darlin'. My eyes are down here."

Dropping your chin to your chest, you got a close-up view of Jake staring up at you, lips enclosing around the peak of your breast to work the bud between his teeth lightly. A wail caught in your throat at a particular tug, eyes still focused on his face as you attempted to bring him closer to your chest.

He pulled back, voice husky as he said, "Good girl."

You heaved at the praise, a flush of heat shooting down your body. You started to rock your hips against his, desperate for pressure, friction, anything to soothe the burning sensation in your core. Your jeans prevented you from feeling anything as Jake continued to suck around your nipple.

"Or you'd let me do this."

You moaned, a long yearning sound echoing between the space of the two parking spots when Jake slipped his hand down between your bodies and cupped your core, his thumb pressing on your clit through the seam of your jeans.

"Or this," he chuckled when you bucked your hips off the side of the truck, you seeing more than the stars littering the sky as he rubbed at you with the pad of his thumb. But his hand was gone as quickly as he touched you, leaving you aching and whining for more.

Jake could only think about how beautiful you looked, panting hard and skin flushed, just as affected as he was.  He was in awe of you, of how well today went, how you care about him and refuse to believe in how everyone else sees him. He may have needed to assure you you were worth the risk of a broken heart, but he was grateful you were willing to take the chance on him. 

But then you fucking sidelined him; your voice was quiet and raspy as you said, “I trust you.” 

It was three simple words. And you probably didn’t understand their weight in your frenzied state. Or maybe you did. You told him you didn’t trust many people with this part of you. Perhaps you were telling him he was that person. 

Either way, they meant everything to him.

“I want to do this right by you,” he gritted out through his teeth. “But you are making it hard.”

You didn't mean to, but your snicker escaped before it was too late, causing a series of giggles to wrack your chest.

Jake instantly caught on to what you were laughing about, the heat building between you both starting to die down as he softly laughed with you, body shaking as he pressed his forehead into the center of your chest.

"Liz, don't you dare."

But you couldn't help yourself. "Pun intended?"

He went for your sides, fingers poking and scratching at your stomach as you let out a screech, failing to escape his wrath before you finally called out for mercy. Pulling your bra and blouse back over your breast, Jake sighed affectionally, pressing his forehead to yours. "Where have you been all my life, darlin'?"

You didn't know what to say, so you pressed your lips to his, content to simply be in the moment, even if the two of you looked like horny teenagers at a school fair.

Thank god nobody could see the two of you like this right now.

But you were seen. 

From the driver’s seat of a little white car with a spoiler on the back, parked three cars down on the opposite side of the lane. It’s passenger watching you and that man, doing whatever the fuck that was, up against that specimen of a truck.

He could hear your laughter from this distance, watching as the man picked you up, you clinging to him all arms and legs as he opened the door and set you inside, closing it before jogging around to the other side. 

Watching the truck drive away, he couldn't help but feel some sort of pleasure in the fact he would see you soon. At the place where you were the most vulnerable. When none of those glorified uniform-wearing servants would be able to stop him.

Yes, he would see you soon.

And he wouldn’t leave this godforsaken state without what he came for. 

Shit hits the fan from here on out... 👀

Tags:

@blue-aconite @tinytotontheoversizedpony @djs8891 @caitsymichelle13 @startrekfangirl2233

@mayhemmanaged @ereardon @dempy @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @daggerspare-standingby

@phantomxoxo @formulapierre @eli2447 @fulla02 @blckgrl-sunflower @mizzzpink @ohgodnotagainn

@bubblegumbeautyqueen @sarahsmi13s @desert-fern @lynnestra44 @memoriesat30 @penwieldingdreamer @mxlanciia

@bradleybeachbabe @bobby-r2d2-floyd @lavenderbradshaw @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @genius2050

@brooke-stinson

Part 11: Dream On Coming Soon

Wickett ;)

[strawberripuffy]

So I was reading/listening to those translations of the Latin in Bloodborne lyrics, as one does, and I found the one for the Moon Presence and, it just didn't sit with me like the rest did. Didn't feel right, so I went on Google Translate and went to see if it would give me something different. It did, in fact, give me something different. Here below, I'm gonna state my opinion on it all

I want to preface this with the following facts:

1. I am not a Latin expert by any means

2. I know Google Translate can be unreliable (I originally tried to use DeepL but it didn't have Latin)

3. This is just a little ramble, I'm sorry if I forget any piece of official lore or something that may be important, and I'd love to know what you all think of my interpretation

4. Please ignore the discord markdown. It's 4 in the morning, and I don't wanna change it

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The provided (source below) Latin to English translation is as follows:

> Ruler, on the day when you came

> The curse is born

> Ruler, on the day when you came

> You are reborn

> On the day when the ruler come

> Ruler's curse is born.

I don't know what 'Ruler' here is referring to. I mean, it could be the Moon Presence, but she's never been referred to as a ruler, anywhere, nor has anyone else. Saying it's a reference to Queen Yharnam or Queen Annalise is a little bit of a stretch in my personal opinion because they have no connection to the Dream, and I don't think they have any connection to Moon Presence.

The word 'curse' here is also confusing for similar reasons? Though I can kinda see it referring to the Beast Scourge, because the Blood Moon does kinda make people transform into beast(?) But it's not any 'Ruler's curse, or at least I don't think

At least the themes of rebirth make sense though and carry over, as, if you're fighting Moon Presence then at that point the only ending you can get is Childhoods Beginning

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Now, onto the Google Translated version (Original)

-# also note that I did to change "Dīrae" to "Dirae" because it wouldn't translate to anything and when I looked at Google Translates dictionary for the word, it spelt it with the regular 'i'

> Days will come

> It creates a monster

> Days will come

> You are born again

> The days are coming

> He gives birth on a terrible day

This makes a bit more sense, after all, the note that your character wrote talks about ascending the hunt by seeking Paleblood and that would end the hunt, something worthy of telling in the context of something like "Days are coming". As well as my opinions on the other lines (⬇️)

> It creates a monster

This (again, in my opinion) is a reference to how "ascending" in any sort of way, whether it be beasthood or godhood seems to force you to sacrifice or lose your humanity, but it could also be literal and referring to a Great Ones (usually) monstrous looking appearance

> "You are born again"

Obvious. You turn into an infant Great One

> "He gives birth on a terrible day"

This ones pretty up in the air but (in my opinion) it could be talking about how it's only on the terrible day (night) of the hunt that you have the opportunity to get to the bottom of this eldritch madness and be reborn

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Now here's the Google Translated version but changed a tad using the drop-down type menu (shown in the image)

> The day will come

> He creates the beast

> The day will come

> You are born again

> The day comes

> On a terrible day he gives birth

Most of these changes are minor ones, such as changing the day related lines to be singular, talking about one specific day (night) because we all know The Hunter does it all in one night as well as making the line after "The day comes" past tense, making it sound like the day has already came, like it's describing something that already happened which makes sense because the other line, "You are born again" sounds like it's describing something that just now happened/is happening

There's one specific line that I changed though: "It creates a monster" to "He creates a beast"

I did this because in regards to my last interpretation of the former line was simply just it referring to the loss of humanity, but this line could refer to a few things

1. The possibility that your player character could very well just restart the hunt or make it worse, yes the hunt ends (I think?) after you become an infant Great One but there's no telling what you'd do after that! There's an infinite amount of possibilities, yes you 'usher humanity into a new childhood' but who's to say that's a good thing?

2. This is a bit of a stretch but maybe referring to how the Beast Scourge was originally humanities fault for poking their nose around with the Old Blood and using it as a magical cure-all

That concludes my ramble. Thanks for coming, guys, and goodnight

[markbannersstuff]

Jealous Boy

Summary:Joel begins to notice certain behaviors from his Ex-Soulmate, he certainly isn't disappointed with what he finds.

Words:1259

Notes: English is not my frst language, i'm sorry if some parts don't make sense or there are spelling mistakes, i have dyslexia and that doesn't make it any batter.

I can't balive the first thing i post here is a Boat Boys One-Shot

Ao3 Link

Etho is a jealous man.

It's something Joel learned in the previous death game, his attention always came back one way or another to Bdubs, he's not an idiot, he notice each of Etho's attempts to separate "the perfect couple" that were Impulse and Bdubs, the redstoner's jealous and almost obsessive behavior was obvious to him, Joel didn't really care, not like people, and even Impulse himself, seemed to wait, as long as Etho did his part not to die, for him it's okay.

That doesn't mean he didn't become annoying a few days later, easily familiarizing himself with the feeling of not being wanted, although that seemed to change when he built the ship, Etho put aside Bdubs but not quite, quite understandable actually, both were quite close during the two games leading up to Double Life.

But one thing about Joel didn't expect is that the behavior that was once meant for Bdubs, was now destined for him.

You can't blame him for being shocked to realize what was happening, he started with something he at first thought was just a joke, maybe even a minor claim, "so you're going to make a boat with a new friend 'ey Joel", the death of the cow was just an afterthought, something he did just on the whim of doing it.

While Etho threatened to shoot anything or person valuable or important to Joel, while he stated out loud in front of Jimmy and Tango that they were now enemies, their behavior days later seemed to say otherwise, it took him a while to notice it, but once he did it was impossible to overlook, Etho was basically in his head for months in Double Life, He knows the things that bother him, so it's not hard for him to make him angry.

And if there is something that Joel hates in these games, it is the fishing rods, more specifically he hates when he tries to pull him with the damn thing, Etho himself hates it, he knows it because it is engraved in the minds of both since his red because of the same, so he really do not hesitate to threaten his ex soulmate, he was willing to take his own life if it meant being able to kill Etho.

And Etho seemed to take his threat seriously, a few days passed without further incident, that's when Grian decided it would be a good idea to go AFK, being basically a state of deep sleep, the problems started a short time later, he didn't go into details, his head still hurts just remembering, problems came and went and deaths happened in droves, being he the cause of some.

During that time there really weren't many changes in their interactions, maybe a comment here and there from both of them, things changed when he accidentally call Jimmy Babe in front of Etho, it's supposed to just be a joke okay? You can't blame him,

he usually calls his friends babe, it's a nickname that's stayed around over the years, and he's more than sure that at some point he call Etho the same way.

It was the next day that the changes began, they were small changes like prolonged eye contact, standing closer than necessary when he had the opportunity or even the tone of his voice, which went from being sharp and suspicious to soft and almost affectionate, it was almost as if they were back in DL, he had become so used to those little things that he don't even notice when they happened again.

Attempts to separate him from the Bad Boys occurred a few days later, passive-aggressive comments were directed at the other two men, Etho took it upon himself to point out Grian's affinity for ending the lives of his teammates, he also pointed out how Jimmy was always the first to leave the games, inevitably taking others with him. Pretty low blows if you ask Joel.

He was also in charge of spreading rumors, such as how Grian seemed to put more and more his eyes on Scar, how he heard Scott and Jimmy talk about teaming up again, the idiot is really going for his insecurity of ending up alone, not a lie, he almost accepted when Etho offered a place on the T.I.E.S. team.

But he remembered how a cold night in the nest Grian expressed his refusal to partner with Scar, he remembered how Jimmy said in a very serious way how he did not want to betray or be betrayed, so, although the idea was tempting, he sent Etho and his offer to shit, deciding to keep the songbirds by his side, Etho was clearly not happy with his refusal to be on the same team, he could perfectly see the frustration on his face.

And it seems that Bdubs also noticed, the man tried to make him talk, but Etho did not seem very interested in telling him the cause of his anger, he did not really seem interested in Bdubs at all, his days seemed to be divided between being with his team and trying to get Joel's attention, he on the other hand did not understand.

Not at least until contact began.

Etho doesn't shy away from physical contact, one of the things he caught on in Double Life, is that he actually seems to enjoy it, he never starts it, it's Joel, who after small pushes and tentative hands on his shoulders and arms, which began to be more susceptible to things like resting his weight on each other, Hugs also began to occur and they even walked hand in hand at times.

Double Life was full of physical contact between them, at least when Etho started paying attention to it, Bdubs seemed surprised, although he's sure it was the fact that Etho let Joel be so tactile with him that had him so surprised, the narcissistic little shit.

The thing is, Etho NEVER initiates physical contact, so you'll surely understand his surprise when one day Etho took his hand out of nowhere, he doesn't remember much of what happened before or even after that, only that his brain short-circuited when he again felt the familiar sensation of his ex soulmate's hand. he's pretty sure he had to be dragged out of the mansion by Grian, the only thing etched in his mind is what he was pretty sure was an arrogant smile from Etho as he left.

That and the phantom sensation of fingers intertwined with his own.

It was only moments later that he started going over all his previous interactions, and oh, he felt so, so stupid for not noticing it sooner, Etho was acting so desperately that it was painfully obvious, he wouldn't be surprised even if Scar and Jimmy have noticed it before him, Joel, who was so blinded by the sense of familiarity those actions gave him that he never questioned it.

It was a bit embarrassing that it took Etho to hold his hand on his own to notice everything, it was so embarrassing that I consider not coming back down from the roof, but the vertigo in his chest at the thought of not returning to his soulmate did not let him stay, knowing that the further he moves away from Etho the more is in his mind gave him a twisted feeling of possessiveness.

because if that was what it took for etho to chase after him, then goddammit he’ll run.

[aviyinglet]

Roadmap post for Pixel Yinglets v0.98

Arr! It's been a couple of weeks, here's a Pixel Yinglets blog post. It can be viewed on my Gumroad page, or after the break.

An important reminder, also! Pixel Yinglets is currently in Early Access pricing, which will raise from $30 to $40 when it hits 1.0. There are two version number updates (each of which are slated to add features) between now and then, so you've got time if you'd like to see how it pans out -- but if you'd prefer not to wait, it can be purchased here.

Hello, everyone! I've been hard at work on a few things, one of which is an update to the model. It'll be a few weeks before 0.98 releases, but I'm committed to working on it routinely until then: I want to get this in its absolute best possible shape before Furality Umbra, and that requires a few additions to the model to make it look and feel a bit more yinglety.

The above screenshot is from the first steps of 0.98's remodeling push: as this is going to be the update that'll also be going on FurHub and VRCArena, the focus here is going to be on model aspects the player's going to see first: the hands, head, and face. What you're seeing here are two important changes: first, nostrils that aren't just a painted-on cluster of pixels, and second, ears that have concave geometry lining up with what you find in the yinglets of Val Salia. This is particularly important, as the previous attempt to articulate the form of the ears through a pixel texture is one of the messiest aspects of the model to date. I still need to make sure this new look plays nice with the customization blendshapes, but I'm very proud of how this looks so far.

I have very charitably been sent a set of three Vive 3.0 trackers, which has brought to the forefront an incentive to recreate more aspects of the Yinglet Experience. Here are a few things I anticipate putting in 0.98:

Remodeled ears, snout, hands, and feet. Already mentioned, bears mentioning again.

Toggleable shirt, dress, shorts, and skirt. Technically the main feature of this update; also bears repeating. Shirt will have a spot for front and back graphics, easily replaceable in the texture.

Cleaned-up pixel texture. I keep noticing minor tweaks I could make, and I'm gonna make 'em! Just you watch!

Toggleable first-person snout. I've tried this out in a different model and it's now a top priority.

Ears (and possibly whiskers) animating to facial expressions. The Out-of-Placers comic has gone into exceptional detail describing and depicting how this is meant to work, and I want to make good on that.

Puppetable tail. I anticipate it being a circle menu option where you can position it with a thumbstick and set it in place. I might not be able to get this fully working for 0.98, but I want players to be able to have their tail lay as flat on the floor as their back, for the noodle-like nature of the yinglet body to be made obvious in that pose. Ideally, when you lay on your side, you should have the ability to see your body from the chest down to tailtip without interruption.

Texture map resize from 512x512 to 4096x4096. Oh, an eye-popping figure! This is not to add fidelity to the pixel aspects, but to instead give myself more room to work. More on this further down in this post.

Elimination of gap between bottoms of tearducts and top of snout. Finally! UGH!

I want to take this opportunity to highlight one of the key traits of where I've always wanted to take this model: I started on this with the intent of having it replace the original yinglet model I used for myself, and for there to be no reason for me to want to switch back to my former main. We're not only not there yet, we're still quite a ways off -- and one of the reasons for that is because of a difference in direction between Pixel Yinglets and the original. For comparison, here's the original in its current state:

Pixel Yinglets is currently more advanced than this, even when you only consider the eyes alone. The original's eye proportions look 'off' (they're spherical compared to the current model's oval shapes), and they're basically headlights with how emissive they are; I'm glad to have improved over those, and those traits won't be changing. The original's eyes do, however, have animating eyelids that move fluidly, as well as the wispy slit-pupil characteristic of a yinglet's eyes. This would be difficult to accomplish with the yinglet model's eyes in their pixelated state, which has me strongly considering for 0.99 making the "pixel" aspect of this either a toggle or a separately uploadable version (maintaining feature parity, that's important) rather than a given aspect of the model: to allow players to swap between pixelated and non-pixelated pupil and eyelid geometry sets, and to in turn also make a version of the body/clothing textures that's in a resolution you expect to see in any other VRChat model. In short: As of the eventual 0.99 update, in addition to Pixel Yinglets, you'll also have access to a featureset and aesthetic look equivalent to if the model package was just called "Yinglets", without any upgrade fees or anything like that.

Anyway, that's where I'm at at the moment. Thanks for your support, everyone! Any thoughts on this, let me know.

[hellfiremunsonn]

Flirty friend Steve rescuing you when your car breaks down at night and he drives by you all sad sitting on the curb 🥺

oh yes, I love my baby girl Steve. I hope this is okay!!! <3 (I got carried away, this was way longer than I intended, but THAT'S FINE)

There is no smut in this but MINORS FUCK OFF ANYWAY <3 18+ Please, MINORS DNI

You sat on the side of the road. Butt numb from how long you've been sitting on the curb. You could have walked home by now, but you really, didn't want to leave your car behind. Although it was old it was still new to you, and you worked too hard to get it, to just abandon it on the side of the road.

You were frustrated with yourself, you knew you should have taken it to the mechanic last week like Eddie suggested, but you thought you could hold out just a little longer. Unfortunately you were wrong.

You held your head in your hands and groaned loudly, elbows leaning onto your knees while your inner monologue cursed at you.

"I deserve this" you mumbled to yourself.

Headlights in the distance start to illuminate everything around you, causing you to scoot closer to your car, hiding as best as you could, not wanting some creep to see you moping on the side of the road. Thankfully it zoomed back without a second glance and you sighed once you saw it turn down a street a few blocks down.

You spent the next few moments deciding what you wanted to do. You knew there was a 24 hour diner down the road, maybe a 30 minute walk, and they would definitely let you use their phone, but then you'd have to admit to yourself that you really actually did fuck up and you weren't sure if you were ready for that just yet.

Another car came down the street, slower than the other and it made you instantly uncomfortable, even more so when it slowed down and parked right behind your car. You stayed in your position next to one of your front tires, afraid to move.

"(Y/N) ?" A voice called out, startling you. You stood up quickly to see Steve standing on the other side of your car.

"Steve what the fuck you scared the shit out of me!" You exclaimed.

"Why are you hiding behind your car!"

"I thought you were a murderer!" You stated, as if that was the most obvious outcome.

Steve laughed at that; the sound of it instantly beginning to calm you.

"Well I'm sorry" he said coming over to stand next to you. "I didn't meant to scare you, and I'm definitely not here to murder you" he said with a smirk. "But I couldn't just drive by and leave my pretty girl stranded on the side of the road"

You looked up at him. His eyes sparkling even in the darkness of the street around you, his freckles unmissable, and you were pretty sure you could smell his shampoo from where you stood. He was so dreamy, and everything about him made your heart flutter, and your brain turn to goo.

"Oh please, you're just saying that" you rolled your eyes, bumping your shoulder into his, giving him the perfect opportunity to wrap his arm around you.

"I mean the words are coming out of my mouth so, yeah I am saying it" he teased.

"You are so annoying"

"I mean I can leave you here if you want? I'm sure there's another murderer who could be on their way any minute now" he said slowly pulling away from you, but you grabbed a fistful of his sweater where your arm sat around his waist, pulling him back to you. "No, no, don't leave me, I'm sorry, I'll be nice"

"I've heard that before" he said with a laugh, leaning down to give you a small kiss on the top of your head. "You're lucky I love you"

Your heart almost stopped at that. It was something he had never done before. Sure the two of you had kissed each other on the cheek before when saying hello or goodbye, but something about this one just felt a little more intimate- And although the two of you had been friends for years, saying I love you, wasn't really something you guys did.

You couldn't help the small bubble of laughter that built up in your chest, bursting out until Steve looked at you, a concerned expression on his face.

"You didn't get into an accident did you? Are you concussed?" He said grabbing your face in both hands, while he searched your face, which only made you laugh harder. "Please tell me you're okay"

"S-Steve" you stuttered through your laughter. "I'm fine, I didn't get into an accident I just, you're just, you're just really cute" you admitted, and with Steves hands on your face you were sure he could feel the heat that crept up into them.

"Not as cute as you" he said back quickly.

"Are you never not such a flirt?" you teased.

"I like flirting with pretty girls what can I say"

"You think I'm pretty?" you ask shocked.

"Of course I do dummy, I just told you I loved you"

"Wait, like love love?"

"Yes love love!" He said loudly. "I'm standing here panicking because I just blurted it out to you, and then you started hysterically laughing, doesn't do any good for a guys ego let me tell ya" He said with a huff, removing one of his h ands from your face to scratch at the back of his head.

You giggled some more. "Well you already know I love you" you said shyly.

"yeah, you've been pinning over me for years huh? Just couldn't resist the Harrington charm"

"I'll take it back" You said pushing at his chest lightly, but he grabbed both your hands and wrapped them around his neck, pulling you closer to hum by your waist.

"Now let me kiss you and take you home yeah?"

"Yes sir" You said dramatically, even adding a quick salute which made Steve roll his eyes, but his smile never left his face when he leaned down to kiss you.

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

So... you're not going to post anything in support of people in Ukraine? Anything against the Russian imperialism?

I already did. Several times.

But western countries only give a fuck because it's white people. Shit like this happens in the middle east? Maybe an hour of news coverage. Happens in Africa? No news coverage.

But it's WHITE PEOPLE that are the victims? Gods forbid. Months of 24/7 news coverage.

Look. You've been a follower since I've started this blog, so I understand. You wanted me to be a constant source of info against this injustice.

But I stated day one that I couldn't watch it. I have a friend that lives in one of the Baltic states (countries that Putin would go after if he's given the opportunity to escalate) so I just just watch this all the time and see what could happen to her.

Furthermore, I don't see what this constant doomscrolling is helping. We feed and feed and feed on negative media like this until it makes us apathetic. You see so much trauma until you're numb to it. Much of the millennial generation has already dealt with this from the constant watching of the 9/11 footage every year for years.

Lastly, there's only so much I can do. Constantly ranting about what's happening in Ukraine isn't helping anything. What can I add that's not already being said? More importantly, what can I add that's not obvious? "What Russia is doing is bad. I don't agree with it." Thank you captain obvious. But pointing out the obvious isn't going to help shit.

But you know what is going to help shit? Raising awareness for what's happening at home. Parents are being charged with child abuse in Texas for supporting their trans children. Teachers are being arrested in Florida for supporting their gay students. Black men are still being killed by police.

As much as I don't like how Chelsea is handling this situation with modern warrior on tiktok because she's being shitty, it still opens up the discussion to issues like how white women can't hold men of color accountable for assaulting them without being called racist. It opens us up to discussions about how yes, it is all men. Even our loudest advocates and allies are still susceptible to assaulting women.

So I made my few posts about Russia and Ukraine. But I'm sick of everyone caring because it's white people. I'm sick of this constant news coverage taking air time away from shit that we can actually help with at home. I'm sick of how no one is talking about Black men being killed by police anymore. I'm sick of admitting how Ukraine will get more news coverage and sympathy than the BLM protests.

If people want to talk about Ukraine? That's their prerogative, but I want to focus on the minorities that everyone is forgetting about with this Ukraine news coverage.

(Also I should point out that there's a huge accountability issue with discussing Ukraine. Russia is posting anti-Ukrainian propaganda and with this constant news cycle and this constant news for new information, no one is checking sources before posting shit.

So this desire to be a constant flood of information about Ukraine is actually doing more harm than good for the Ukraine situation because it's forcing people to push Russian propaganda through.)

-fae

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Kickstart My Heart Pt.II (Kang Yeosang) Rated

<<Previous // Next>>

Pairing: Racer! Kang Yeosang × Waitress!/Fuckgirl! Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Light Angst, Crack, 80s Au.

Summary: Getting the chance to spend time alone with Y/N, Yeosang jumps at the opportunity, getting a little more than he bargained for.

Word Count: 3.5K

Warnings: Dumb attempts at humor, second hand embarrassment, Lynn is still creepy, slight voyeurism/ exhibitionism, making out in car, heavy petting, allusions to oral (male receiving).

█ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █

The two best friends giggled amongst themselves as they entered inside the establishment, hands full of bags that contained to go boxes with several assorted sandwiches, burgers and fries inside of them. Hearing the bell signal customers, the peppy blonde at the front counter looked up from the thick stack of papers in front of her, mouth automatically showcasing her perfect and commercial worthy smile she always used when greeting newcomers or even regulars.

"Good afternoon what can-" Her expression immediately soured, smile fading and in its place puckered lips took shape.

"Oh... it's just you two." She drawled out the last words, eyes rolling as she peered back at the papers she was busy with.

Looking over at each other, Lynn simply shrugged her shoulders as one of her eyebrows raised up in puzzlement. Meanwhile, Y/N couldn't contain the soft snort that passed through her tight sealed lips, the sound coming out more like a goofy raspberry that further irritated the girl at the counter.

"Hey Sora. How's your day going so far?" Y/N tried to make conversation, but it was obvious the girl wasn't having it, blatantly ignoring both of them as her hand scribbled even faster, pages being turnt at a fast speed. Shifting awkwardly in her stance, Y/N turned her head to look at her friend, who merely shook her head, face clearly indicating to her to not try to act nicer and to simply get to the point of why they had come all the way to the workshop.

"Are the boys still here?"

With a few muttered grumbles, Sora lifted her pen and pointed it behind her towards the door that led to the garage, silently answering where the mentioned individuals currently were.

"Thanks."

Sora let out a scoff as the two girls made their past the counter, annoyed ever so vastly by the fact she had no authority nor power to forbid them from going to the back. Being friends with Wooyoung and the rest of the gang, obviously they got special privileges that allowed them to come and go as they pleased not only in the shop but also down at the tracks. And frankly Sora hated it, hence why she didn't refrain from demonstrating her hostility towards Y/N and Lynn, but especially towards the latter for more personal and complicated reasons that everyone was aware of but Lynn herself.

"I don't know why you go out of your way to be friendly towards her. She's been needing to take a chill pill ever since high school." Lynn retorted. Putting down the bags she was carrying for a moment, she pulled the sides of her oversized denim jacket back over her shoulders, the top having slipped off rather uncomfortably on her torso.

"Honestly?...... merely to piss her off." Y/N snickered maliciously, her true intentions finally coming to light.

"Well I'd say you do a fantastic job then. She just takes one look at you and her blood is boiling." Lynn pointed out as she picked up the bags once more.

"Trust me Lynn, you anger her more than I do." Thay statement made the petite girl do a double take at the office behind them.

"Me? Whatever did I do to Barbie?" She questioned, never once recalling a moment where she even spoke two words to the preppy girl that wasn't a casual greeting or goodbye.

Y/N looked with a deadpanned expression to her friend.

"You seriously don't- you know what? Never mind."

Not wanting to waste time trying to explain to her frequently unobservant buddy why Sora had a price on her head, Y/N just quickly rushed over towards the group of men huddled around the red Ferrari F40, one of them hidden underneath it, no doubt in the process of checking or fixing minor issues. Seeing the girls approaching them, all of the boys quickly sprang to life, Wooyoung leading the entourage as they came up towards them.

"So our lovely diner girls actually decided to join us for a movie night. I knew you guys couldn't resist my deadly charm."

Not only were the girls unamused by his little joke, but even his friends behind him shook their heads, disapproving greatly of his overly confident and light narcissistic attitude that he exuded at times.

"I only came cause I am not going to spend a perfectly good Friday night cooped up in my house watching Dynasty." Y/N firmly stated, shutting down any further attempts of flirting directed towards her.

"I like to see people get stabbed or gutted to death."

Cringing at the macabre girl's overly calm response, Wooyoung tilted his head back and looked at the tallest member of the gang, nose crinkling significantly as he silently mouthed a few words over to him, deeply questioning his friend's taste. Said friend simply shrugged and stepped up closer towards the girls, not surprising anyone that he'd pick a stance that had him facing Lynn from the front as he always liked to do.

"Well I'm just really happy you guys decided to join us. I thought you would be happy at knowing it was a horror film."

Not too far behind him, San and Mingi were already giggling amongst themselves, sending each other signals and jokingly theorizing how the night was going to go like.

"I am exceedingly happy Yunho. My body is so filled with joy and immense contentment that I can hardly keep myself from grinning." Despite the jubilant sentence, Lynn's face displayed absolutely no emotion and her raspy and low toned voice was still as monotone and lifeless as it tended to be. Yunho's bright smile nearly faltered, feet rocking back and forth awkwardly as he did not know how to proceed after such a statement. Luckily Mingi stepped in and changed the topic.

"Please tell me there's food in those bags and that we can have some." He pointed to one of the many bags that the girls were carrying.

Lifting one hand up then the other, Y/N shook the contents lightly.

"Your favorites." She chuckled when San came up and tightly squeezed her body into a hug.

"This is why I love you both." Y/N did not mind the slightest bit when he suddenly pulled her face towards his, mouth pressing hard and intense pecks on her cheek repeatedly as a show of gratitude. She was so used to his affectionate nature.

Turning around, Wooyoung cupped his hands over his mouth so that his voice could resonate loudly.

"Yeosang quit tinkering with it already! You're going to get dirty and we have a movie to catch." He shouted at whom the girls presumed was under the race car.

"You literally have speakers built into your vocal chords, there was no need for that makeshift megaphone." Lynn grumbled at him, causing the male next to her to burst out in a fit of giggles.

"Speakers built in hie vocal chords. Good one." Lifting his hand up, Yunho held it up towards Lynn, expecting her to high five him back but was instead met with her cold, squinting eyes that inspected his palm.

"Your aura is overly forced....and you have leftover grease on your hand." She looked away after finishing that sentence. Hearing her say that made Yunho instantly check his hand, immediately wiping it off on his jeans as he mentally slapped himself for looking like an idiot in front of the girl he fancied.

Not paying mind to whatever was happening around her, Y/N's eyes were glued on the figure that emerged from under the car. She couldn't help but admire the strong and buff biceps that were peeking out of the plain white tshirt the man was wearing, sleeves slightly rolled up above his shoulders. The angelic face belonging to him looked even more dazzling due to the light sheen of sweat around his temples, no doubt caused by the work he was doing. Even as he reached for one of the cleaning towels so he could wipe the grime and oil off his hands, Y/N continued to gaze at Yeosang, mind already conjuring up many ideas and fantasies with him as the main protagonist.

"Oh sweetie, you're not making this any easier." She mused inwardly, one of her fingers twirling a strand of her hair.

Discarding the rag on one of the toolboxes nearby, Yeosang carefully approached the group of friends, still awkward in interacting with all of them, trait that only helped in making him stand out like a sore thumb, more than he already did. Clamping a hand over his new buddy's shoulder, Wooyoung brought a hand up and patted one of his squishy cheeks.

"Now that you're finally here we can go." Looking around, Wooyoung gestured around.

"So who's riding with who?"

Immediately Yunho turned his face towards the girl next to him, about to voice out his want of having her in his car, but it seemed as if his plans would fall through as Mingi latched an arm around him.

"I'm going with Yunho." He seemed determined not to let go of him.

"Why? So you can cling to him during the scary parts?" A chorus of laughter poured out at San's amusing words.

"As if!" Mingi huffed, though it was more than obvious to everyone that it was precisely as San had predicted.

"Mingi... I was kinda hoping I could... you know?" Yunho tilted his head over to Lynn, making him get the picture of what he wanted.

"Whatever happened to bros before hoes?" Mingi sighed as he detached himself from Yunho.

"Ok then. Yunho you go with Mingi, San you can take the girls and I'll keep Sangie here company since he's still a little bit shy you know."

It seemed as if it was all decided about how their night was going to run, so Y/N knew she had to speak up and take the opportunity before it was all settled.

"Why don't I ride with Yeosang instead?"

Hearing her suggestion, the male in question widened his eyes in shock, not expecting her to voice that out loud. Even Wooyoung found it slightly odd and suspicious that she'd say that. But then he remembered the type of girl Y/N was and it started to set off alarm bells in his mind.

"Oh it's ok Y/N. You probably won't like to have him scream in your ear and cover his eyes like a baby at the jump scares." Not taking kindly to such blasphemous talk about him that painted an inaccurate picture.

But Y/N remained undeterred. She would stand her ground no matter what.

"Oh please, I insist. I'd love to take care of him..." She did not hide the sultry way she said that last part, eyes locked on Yeosang's, the boy swallowing hard and pressing himself further into Wooyoung's side. Wanting to bargain even further, Y/N took hold of her friend.

"How about this? Lynn goes with Yunho and Mingi, you ride with San and I get Yeosang?"

San cupped a hand over his mouth to muffle the laugh he wanted so desperately to release.

"I don't think it's just him she wants to get." He chuckled to himself.

"You're seriously leaving me alone with these 2 giants?" Lynn pointed to the two men at her right, one of which obviously was more than willing to welcome the arrangement.

"I promise Mingi won't disturb you too much with his crying." Yunho swore to her, hand coming up to clasp around Mingi's mouth when he attempted to protest that decision.

Wooyoung looked over to Yeosang, leaning in and dropping his voice so that only he could hear.

"If you don't want to, just say the word and I'll get her off your case." He offered. Although they had only met just a couple days ago, Wooyoung felt compelled and obligated to look out for the new boy, even if it meant protecting him from his other friends.

Knowing that he probably shouldn't and that it was a bad idea, Yeosang glanced over at Y/N. Meeting her eager eyes and cunning smile, any resolve to stay close to Wooyoung was immediately dispelled from his mind. He might never get another opportunity such as was presented to him and he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he was rather curious to find out more about the young vixen that he had heard so much about since he moved into town. With an assured smile that slightly worried Wooyoung, Yeosang stepped forward and held out his hand towards Y/N.

"Shall we get going then?"

█ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █

Unable to focus his attention towards the gigantic screen right in front of him, Yeosang slumped down further in his seat, fingers tugging his red sweater over his body. Every few seconds or so, he'd turn his head to peer at the girl on the passenger seat, looking exceedingly calm and collected unlike him. He was overly anxious to the point his food was still untouched, sitting in the backseat, long forgotten. Y/N, although collected, was bored out of her mind, elbow rested on the window, head being supported on her palm as her eyes never lingered away from the gore filled scenes being displayed across from them. There was a deafening silence inside the black Iroc Camaro, the tension between both individuals becoming increasingly thick.

Becoming desperate after 40 minutes of not getting him to make a move or even attempt to break the ice, she decided it was time to take matters into her own hands. Unzipping her green varsity jacket, Y/N began to slide it off her shoulders, revealing the low cut crop tank that she was hiding thus far.

"It's so hot today, don't you think?" She asked him as she tossed the clothing item behind her before settling back into her seat, fighting hard to keep her signature smirk off her face.

If he wasn't feeling hot before, Yeosang certainly started to feel heated after she had taken off her jacket. His hand reached out to grab the cup of soda in the cup holder, gulping most of the contents and ice down to help cool him down. He made an effort not to glance back at his companion anymore, knowing if he did he would have been unable to keep his eyes off her chest. Although it was dark and he turned away almost immediately, he had not missed the fact that she had chosen not to wear a bra, her nipples slightly poking out through the thin and flimsy shirt that even slowed one to make out the outline of her areolas. It was definitely a weakness of his, and Y/N was quick to find that out. Thumb coming up to her mouth, she began biting down on the nail to keep from giggling at Yeosang's reaction. He was devastatingly adorable with his wide eyes and stiffened posture, knee restlessly bouncing up in an agitated fashion. Looking in between his legs, she felt disappointed that she hadn't caused enough damage to earn a tent forming in his pants. He obviously knew how to calm himself in time. That wasn't enough to make her give up. On the contrary, it only hardened her resolve to get him to break.

Letting out an overly dramatic sigh, she reached her hands inside of her tank top. Cupping her breasts in her palms, she started off with slow movements, massaging them gently. Her eyelids started to flutter, closing only briefly as very faint and soft sighs were being exhaled through her nose. Although it was mostly done to tease the boy next to her, she got carried away and started to become more and more turned on with what she was doing. Each time she'd purposefully pinch and pull at her hardening peaks, a muffled whine would be heard coming from her throat, legs starting to spread inch by inch as her planters started to stick against her core.

Opening her eyes and tilting her head, she witnessed Yeosang's astounded expression that also held some lust in it. He was no longer sipping from his drink, but rather his teeth and tongue were merely toying around with the blue plastic straw as the grip on the base of the cup was lightly crushing it. The movie ultimately failed its purpose of keeping him distracted as his attention had fully diverted over to the sexy girl next to him, watching intently as she pleasured herself, wishing that it were his hands instead that were ministering such devotion to her breasts.

"Wanna be a doll and help me out here?" It seemed as if she had read his mind.

Without even a second of hesitation, Yeosang reached down and adjusted his seat back as far as it could go. Jumping at the invitation, Y/N climbed on top of him until she was straddling his lap. Yeosang's hands eagerly clasped around her waist, thumbs circling on the skin of her exposed abdomen. Cupping his cheeks, Y/N leaned her face down and harshly entangled her lips over his own. Yeosang hummed softly as he tasted the remnants of her cherry flavored chapstick, head tilting back when one of her hands tugged at his hair. His hands didn't hesitate to trail up and cup her mounds through her shirt, taking over the job that was previously being done by the owner's hands. Her insistent mouth parted his trembling lips, tongue poking out ever so slowly until it began divulging in the sweet taste of his wet cavern. Although he was no stranger to French kissing, Yeosang had never experienced a makeout session as intense as the one Y/N offered. She was very skilled and experienced, as proven by the swirl and swivel of her tongue against his own. He couldn't stop the moans pouring out from inside him, his hips bucking up into hers as if on instinct while his hands became more harsh and aggressive as they grasped at her breasts with near ferocity. Y/N would only pull away from their kiss for a few seconds to allow him to catch his breath before her lips lured him back into her. It was finally dawning on Yeosang's mind why so many men became captivated by her charms, even when knowing what the outcome would be. Here he was, the most lovely and hottest girl he'd ever met in his life, on his lap, making out with her while simultaneously getting to second base. He felt so damn lucky. But Y/N wanted to take it up a notch, not satisfied with ending the night with just heavy petting.

Sliding off his lap, she suprised him when she took hold of his belt and began to take it off him. Getting an inkling as to what she might have had in mind, Yeosang took hold of her wrist, making her head shot up at him.

"Is something wrong?" She began to get a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Had she really fucked things up already.

Yeosang turned beet red as he swallowed harshly, trying hard to form the words his head was attempting to sought.

"Are you.... are you a virgin?" She felt like she would have died if the answer was yes.

Seeing her worried face, Yeosang quickly shook his head.

"No! I'm most certainly not a virgin." He sounded almost offended at the insinuation, but it helped calm Y/N down, releasing a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"I just...I've never tried...that before."

His confession just made him cuter in her eyes, previous desire to corrupt and play with him only heightening to new levels after that revelation. Wanting to entice him, she moved her hand to cup at his bulge, loving the way he immediately gasped when she started palming him through his jeans. He bit down at his lip so harshly he believed it would draw blood. He wouldn't contain himself as he bucked his hips up into her palm, desperately wanting her to help him out with his problem. When her fingers reached for his zipper again, he didn't stop her, he merely lifted his hips up to help her as she pulled his pants down by the belt loops, his hardened cock popping out to greet her, surprising her when she noticed how large and thick it was, the head leaking with precum which she used to her advantage and began spreading it down his shaft. The contact of her hand gripping him had Yeosang shuddering, low groaning spilling out his lips. Looking up at him with a devilish grin, Y/N began lowering her head until her lips brushed against his tip.

"Just sit back and relax pretty boy."

A raspy wheeze was caught in Yeosang's throat as soon as he felt her warm mouth on his length, hands flying behind him to clutch at the leather seat of the car. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. It felt so dirty, so wrong and yet he wanted it. He wanted her........

He didn't care if he was playing with fire and he'd get burned by the end of it.

█ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @multidreams-and-desires @yunhofingers @deja-vux @hanatiny @brie02 @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @a-soft-hornytiny @yunsangoveryonder @mingismoon @ateezbabysitters @minhyukmyluv @rainteez02 @nanamarkie @serialee

[leeknowsredeyeliner]

break up - choi hyunsuk

hyunsuk x fem reader x yoshi (?)

summary: you finally confront your boyfriend and get everything off your chest. how does it result into a break up?

genre: college au, break up au

word count: 3.8k+

warning: minor cussing, mention of anxiety, minor anxiety attack (passing out), mention of anxiety pills/meds, break up

note: the first sad fanfic i’ve ever written so i hope you enjoy :)

You're trembling at the sight of the audience from backstage, basically the entire university is present. Having anxiety and dreaming of becoming a performer is obviously not the best combination, you always need to have your pills ready in case of an emergency. You're completely used to performing in front of your classmates and a large crowd but they opened the theater until every seat was filled, you can barely see the people in the back.

The only thing that keeps you going is your best friend, he's always front seat at your recitals and other performances. Even when Yoshi's not physically there to cheer you on, you know he's watching from a FaceTime call with your moms. You've been best friends since freshman orientation, you've even thought you would end up together but there was someone else that caught your eye -- your current boyfriend, Hyunsuk.

Most people suspect that Yoshi's your boyfriend because he's always seen around you, but you don't blame them, it logically makes sense. Even you sometimes feel like Yoshi treats you as more than just a best friend. Hyunsuk tends to be busy on weekends which is totally understandable, you just wish he'd make the time and effort to see you perform just once. He's never been to any of your performances or recitals, you wouldn't be surprised if he was unaware of them. Your moms are concerned for your relationship but you repeatedly remind them it's no big deal to you and he's just a busy guy.

"30 seconds," one of the backstage staff whispers passing by you. You mentally prepare yourself for your last performance of the year. 'I can do this.' Is all you repeat in your mind. The only way you can survive is by searching for your silver haired best friend in the audience and he'll give you all the encouragement you need.

"You’re up," the same person from earlier whispers from beside you. You take a deep breath in and out to slightly calm down the rollercoaster of nervousness mixed with puke in your stomach. You make your way on the stage and before the song starts, you don't hesitate to distinctively skim the first row. Your eyes stop near the middle as you see Yoshi with a big smile on his face. He gives you his iconic thumbs up of motivation and the song starts.

You sing your heart out to the audience but caught yourself looking at Yoshi a bit too often. Then again, he's the only one out there that came for you. Not even your moms could make it because of how close the performance is to the holidays.

[7:09pm]

You gather your belongings from the dressing room and speed walk out of the hall. Opening the door to the main hallway, Yoshi is leaning against the wall holding a box of chocolates. You run up to him as his arms open wide, ready for you to tackle him. Your bodies clash together, pulling him into a tight hug. His head nestles into your neck as he mumbles, "You killed it as always, (Y/n)."

"Only because of you. You know I can't do anything without you around," you giggle. You both pull away from the hug then he takes your bag away from you, slinging it over his shoulder.

"What? Am I like your lucky charm?" He jokes and you both laugh but in the back of your mind you take it seriously, he technically is. Whenever he's watching over the phone, you make the slightest mistakes and just pray the audience doesn't notice. His live presence is much more comforting to you. "These are for you. I know you hate flowers because you consider them a waste of space in your apartment." He hands you the box of chocolates -- your favorite box of chocolates.

"Thank you. I'll finish these tonight. Do you wanna go for some cheesecake?" Yoshi and you celebrate after every performance with food or if he's feeling generous, he takes you out to go shopping.

"Ooh, I can't. I'm going out with Asahi and Jihoon. I'll make it up to you tomorrow though."

"There's no need to make up for it, the chocolate's enough." The two of you don't always need to celebrate with food afterwards. Maybe going back to the apartment and spending the rest of the night with Hyunsuk will be better anyway.

"You don't need a ride home?" He asks as you make your way outside of the building.

"It's across the street, I can walk." Perks of living close to the university means saving cash for food.

"Alright, you be safe. And don't forget to take your anxiety meds once he get home," he orders, throwing your bag at you. You say your goodbyes then part ways.

[7:32pm]

You unlock the door to your apartment and while taking your shoes off, you see Hyunsuk's daily pair. It seems like he casually threw them onto the floor with no care in the world. You neatly place them in an available cubby and put your shoes away in their rightful spot.

You walk into your room to see Hyunsuk passed out across the bed. You clean out your bag, putting your belongings away where they belong. While getting dressed into your house clothes, you hear movement from outside the bathroom. Walking out of the bathroom, you throw your hair up into a ponytail.

"When did you get here?" Hyunsuk asks as you join him in the kitchen.

"Around 10 minutes ago? How long have you been home for?"

"I came here straight after school. Where were you?" He casually responds, grabbing a popsicle from the freezer. "Out with Yoshi again?" He asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice, but maybe you're just annoyed with the words that came out his mouth. It's obvious he doesn't listen to a word you say. He really had no idea about your performance? Also, what's the reason for bringing up Yoshi in that way?

"I had my monthly performance," you bluntly say. If he really had no clue, there's no way you'd be able to tolerate his ignorance. The list of things he does that piss you off keeps growing longer and longer.

"Since when do you have monthly performances?" Your eyes follow his body moving from the kitchen to the couch. The TV flickers on and you notice his interest beginning to fade away like in any conversation you've had in the past.

"Can you please turn the TV off when we're talking?" You order him like you're his mother. Does he have even the slightest drop of respect? He treats you like his sidepiece, like you're there to entertainment him whenever he feels like it.

"Don't worry, I'm still listening," he responds with his eyes glued to the TV. His eyes haven't met yours since you've arrived.

Hyunsuk is your first boyfriend. You were never the type to date before college because the only thing occupying your mind was school. Although you started off clueless in relationships, after being with Hyunsuk for a year, you eventually learned the attributes to a toxic relationship and how certain behaviors are formed.

In the beginning, it was never like this, Hyunsuk did anything and everything just to gain your attention for more than 20 seconds, trying to win you over every day. You loved playing hard to get with him, testing his limits. One day, you gave in to him and his constant courting. The two of you became the happy couple everyone aspires to be.

"But I don't want coffee today!" You whine and jump a bit in place to show how desperate you are. "Ice cream please."

"Fine, only because I love you." The word 'no' doesn't exist in his vocabulary, at least when it comes to you. He feels bad when he sees how disappointed you get when things don't go the way you want. You and Yoshi walk through the campus on your way to the ice cream parlor nearby.

Acting like a child is a natural instinct to you. You're the youngest in the family so you were babied the most and those behaviors never faded away. You enjoy your foot to stay in the squares, never touching the lines as you walk along the sidewalks. Yoshi found your actions interesting and would sometimes copy you when he felt like it, other times he'd watch you from behind as your pace quickens.

"Do it with me," you say. It was supposed to come out as an order but the baby side of you stopped yourself. You take Yoshi's hand in yours to line him up to your speed. As you hop over each line, Yoshi walks beside you looking like a loser. "You're so lame. You owe me two ice-"

"Hey, (Y/n)!" Hyunsuk chirps from beside you, cutting you off. Hyunsuk's been convincing you to let him take you on a date for too long. Every day it's the same thing, 'How does this weekend sound?' 'Just one date.' It's not that you didn't want to go out with him, you'd actually enjoy it very much. You just want to test his patience, see how long he can last, and to what extent he'll go to.

You let go of Yoshi's hand and bring your hands to the straps of your backpack. "Uh, hi?" You act totally uninterested. You like to see him stutter and think of ways for you to say more than four words at a time.

"Did you tell Yoshi you want two ice creams? I can buy you two ice cream cones, if that's what you want." If someone is willing to buy you more than one of any kind of food, you're not passing up on that opportunity. Hyunsuk willing to pay for the food just to win you over is quite worrisome though, it's a sign of easy manipulation.

"I guess," you keep your response short.

"It's okay, dude. I can buy for (Y/n)." Yoshi says from the other side of you. He may have not gotten the message that this was a test for Hyunsuk.

"I just got paid, paying for her ice cream won't hurt," Hyunsuk throws a sassy smile at Yoshi. Hyunsuk runs in front of you to get to the ice cream parlor before you and Yoshi.

"You really got him using his money for you, huh?"

"Yup! You know, he seems to like me a lot," you state the obvious.

"Really? Hm, I don't know. To me, it seems like he doesn't even want to be around you," he sarcastically says.

"I kind of like him now," you blurt out.

"A Hyunsuk confession to me? That's a shocker." He's known about who you felt about Hyunsuk for a few days now. He was neither happy nor upset about the news, he must've seen it coming. "What? Are you finally going to answer him today?" He laughs with no idea that you've already created a plan before today.

"Um, yeah." Yoshi stops in his track but you continue to walk, not caring if he gets left behind or not. "Can you walk? I have ice cream waiting for me."

"You're going to tell him? Today?" He sounds absolutely shocked. It's hard to tell whether it's because he's afraid you'd abandon him or maybe he'll feel bad if things don't work the way you'd want.

"Is that not what I just said?" You walk back over to him and wrap your arms together. "Now, let's go."

The two of you walk over to the ice cream parlor and Hyunsuk's already waiting at a table with your two ice cream cones in hand. Yoshi orders his ice cream while you sit with Hyunsuk. "Thanks," you say as he hands you both cones.

"Yeah, no problem. I remember you always had strawberry ice cream at uni so that's what I got you," he flashes a cute smile.

"Do you not have some for yourself?" You ask and he shakes his head. A frown forms on your face, it's unfair that he's bought you dessert but left himself empty-handed. You extend your arm out and force him to take your extra ice cream cone.

"Are you free this Saturday night?" You blurt our before taking a lick of your ice cream.

Hyunsuk's taken by surprise, you're never the one to initiate any conversation that demonstrates interest but you had a sudden burst of boldness. His eyes widen and he begins to stutter, "Oh. I- Well- It's a weekend- Uh-"

You cut him off, his stuttering's cute but you want a straight up answer, "If you're not free, just tell me. We can figure out another day."

"Thursday night?"

"It's a date."

The date is what initiated your relationship, it was a new beginning as a couple and for you as an individual. By the end of the date, Hyunsuk's impatient self had asked you to be his girlfriend and you proudly said yes.

You can't put your finger exactly on when your relationship went downhill, all you know is leading up to your one year anniversary, things changed.

Hyunsuk started off sweet, caring, a whore for your attention but turned into an unsupportive and distant boyfriend. He never takes you out on random dates, walks with you to school in the morning, and most importantly, you don't sleep in the same bed anymore and if you were, there'd be a line of pillows separating you. You're the only person putting in the effort nowadays and it's tiring.

You snatch the remote from beside him and turn off the TV. "What the hell? Give me back the remote!" He slightly raises his voice but it doesn't bother you. He's done it way too many times for it to have any sort of effect you.

"Oh? You want the remote back? Here, take it." You rip the batteries out from the back and slip them into your back pocket. Mercilessly, the remote is thrown onto the couch next to him.

"What the fuck was that for?" He yells yet again. His eyes meet yours for the first time, his eyebrows furrowed and face burning red.

"I can't take this anymore! I've been taking your shit for way too long. What happened to you the past few months, huh? You are a whole 'nother person. You're not the Hyunsuk I met in literature class my freshman year," I scoff. "The old you would do anything to see me, spend time with me. Please, just tel-"

"What do you expect? People change, (Y/n)! Do you want me to stay the same for the rest of my life?" He has a point, people change but never to the extent where they begin to lose interest in their girlfriend's life.

"I expect you to act like my boyfriend! You're never there for me. I'm always at your dance recitals and soccer games but never have you been to one of mine." Your vision becomes blurry because of your teary eyes. "I- I'm so fucking tired. Tired of- of having to look in the crowd and not see my boyfriend's face. Do you know how helpless I feel up on stage? You're supposed to be my number one supporter."

"You have never mentioned your performances before. How was I supposed to know?" This is his excuse? That's the fattest lie ever made on the planet.

"What do you mean?" You raise your voice. Your voice is very unstable and so is your mind, you could break at any second. "I've been bringing it up even before we started dating. I'd tell you every month, 'I have a performance next week. Do you want me to buy you a ticket?' You always have an excuse, it always has to do with work or going out with your friends. Do you just not have time for your girlfriend?"

"No! I don't! I have a social life and I need to pay the bills. All you do is go out with that stupid Yoshi boy!" He had absolutely no business bringing him into this. Is he using Yoshi as an excuse to ignore his own girlfriend?

"Pay the bills?" You quietly say to yourself before repeating it as loud as possible, "Pay the fucking bills? Your money goes straight to drinking with your friends. I am the only one paying the bills here. Me!" His head lowers down from embarrassment because he knows he's wrong. Yes, he makes money, but where does it all go? To food and drinks with his friends the night after earning it. It's a complete waste of money and a complete waste of your time. Because of how much money he spends, you end up working night and morning shifts to earn the money that he's responsible for paying off.

"And what the hell does Yoshi have to do with this? The only reason why the two of us are together so much is because he actually makes the effort to support me. He's my best friend and you're supposed to be my boyfriend. Instead of being a jealous brat, bringing up his name in an argument that has nothing to do with him, why don't you try to act your part?" You say all in one breath.

Just then, you break down into tears. You were holding it all in for too long that the pain and frustration hit you all at once, bringing you down into a ball of tears. Your breathing was obviously uneven as you were crying but it soon became hard to breathe. Hyunsuk stayed quiet the whole time, not knowing what to say or do. Was he supposed to comfort you or let you cry on the floor by yourself? After listening to your constant hiccuping and sobs continuing for god knows how long, he kneels in front of you.

Your cries were longer than usual and from the sound of his voice, he was concerned. "(Y/n)? Di- Did you take your pills when you got home?" You shake your head in response. This is why Yoshi is always there to remind you to take your pills, he knows you tend to forget at night.

"Okay." Hyunsuk disregards everything that's been said the past few minutes to focus on you and your health, "We're going to stand up and get you to the bed." He holds you up from your armpits, lifting you up from the floor. Once all of your weight is on your feet, nothing.

You see absolutely nothing. Pitch black.

[9:12pm]

You open your eyes to face the ceiling and stretch your arms and legs. "You're awake," a voice from beside you says.

"Yo- Yoshi. What are you doing here? What time is it? Where's Hyunsuk?" The questions flood out as you have a hard time remembering what happened to you.

"A lot of questions, huh? It's a bit past 9. Hyunsuk called me and told me about the fight you had and how you passed out. He didn't know how to handle you so he asked me to come over and help. He also didn't know how you'd feel if he was the first person you saw," he lets out a soft giggle at the end.

You forgot about your fight with Hyunsuk. Everything's coming back to you: The annoyance, the slight confusion of his words. You know if he were to walk through the door right now, you wouldn't hesitate to pounce him.

"You forgot to take your medicine when you got home, didn't you?" He breaks your train of thought. He knows you so well.

"Ho- How did you know?"

"Who's the one to call you at 7:40 every night to remind you?" He asks pulling out your phone to show you a missed call from him at exactly 7:40pm. Sometimes, you learn new things about yourself, like how high maintenance you are to the point where you need another person to remind you of what to do every single day.

"I didn't have to take my meds. I just shouldn't have went off on Hyunsuk, then this would've never happened."

Yoshi sighs and gently pats your head, "We both know it was bound to happen. There just needed to be something to trigger it." Again, he knows you so well, a bit too well.

"Can you bring him here? I want to finish my conversation from earlier." Maybe you won't pounce him, you have absolutely no energy for that. But you do need this weight to be lifted off of your shoulders.

"Only if you promise to not attack him or yell at him," he holds out his pinky. You connect your pinkies and do your quick handshake.

"Promise."

Yoshi leaves the room and shortly after, Hyunsuk walks through the door sending you a soft smile. You pat the spot next to you on the bed and he respectfully and quietly sits, waiting for you to say something.

"I think it's time," you softly say. You avoid eye contact with Hyunsuk because you knew if you were to look into his eyes, all it'd reflect is pain. Even though he wasn't the perfect boyfriend, maybe didn't even act like your boyfriend at all, he loves you and no matter how he acts, you both knew that. You never stopped loving him despite how many times he angered and tested you.

"Can we please try again? I swear I'll be the perfect boyfriend to you, (Y/n). I- I was thinking while you were asleep, looking back at the past few months. You put up with so much shit that you shouldn't have had to go through and I'm truly sorry. I want to make it up to you by making things right," he says with hope in his voice. "Please, (Y/n)." You look up at him, he genuinely is sorry. The regret and pain in his teary eyes are strong, no one could see past it.

You take a deep breath to quickly recollect your thoughts, "I'm sorry, Hyunsuk. I'm not happy in this relationship anymore. This could be the time to better ourselves." You keep it short, not wanting to hurt his feelings even more.

"I- I don't get a second chance?" A tear rolls down his face.

"I've given you more than just a second chance these past few months. Maybe in the future we'll have a chance to try again together." You still love Hyunsuk. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, there's bound to be mistakes and obstacles in the way to drive you apart. If the two of you are truly meant to be then you'll meet again.

"Maybe," he softly says. "Or maybe it's Yoshi that should be given a chance."

[ziamhaze]

Hi, I hope you're well! I just want to start off by thanking you for all the wonderful fics you have blessed me with!

I just finished Red vs. Black and was hoping you wouldn't mind answering some questions I have. As someone who risks his own life to save others, how does Liam justify being with someone he knows has killed innocent people? It'd be one thing if Zayn had only killed those directly involved with what happened to his family, but he's killed innocent civilians over minor inconveniences (such as the teenagers in the convertible). Does Zayn still think he is justified in doing so? Does he ever feel guilty about it? If not, how would Liam and Zayn be compatible if their moral compasses are so different?

Also, did Zayn's father ever make his way to the UK? Or was that just a lie he told Zayn to comfort him? Does Zayn ever find his family, especially his younger sister?

I know it's a lot, but I'd really love to hear your answers if you want to give them! Again thank you for all of your wonderful works!

So sorry it’s taken me this long to reply, but I didn’t forget!

To start I’d like to thank you for clicking, and finishing, Red vs. Black.  It isn’t the shortest of fics, nor is it the most delicate - to put it lightly.  For the latter alone, thank you.

These are such poignant, important questions.  Ones that are nearly word for word what I asked myself while planning the ending.

                         SPOILERS FOR ALL OF RED VS. BLACK

1)  How does Liam stay with Zayn after learning of all his senseless killings?

Honestly, I questioned this the most when feeling out the concept.  As a fic writer it’s expected of me to write not only a romance, but also a happy ending.  Of course fics exist that do neither, but they’re very rare and not exactly well-loved.  And truthfully, a massive point that I wanted to get across - and which in effect answers this question - is that despite people’s pasts, they cannot overcome them without being given the opportunity.  100%.  No ands, ifs, or buts.  For a prisoner to assimilate back into society and not go back to their old ways, they need to be trusted with a job.  With a salary (no matter how small), they need to trust themselves to be able to not buy anything that may contribute to poor habits: drugs, alcohol, weapons, gambling, a means of transport that will give them the ability to visit bad influences (more of a psychological thing, but still).  A lot of prisoners are never given this opportunity (especially in the United States), and therefore fall back into their old ways, which are more often than not coping mechanisms to deal with the fact that they can’t fit into society as easily as privileged people to begin with; it’s a terrible cycle.  However, there are plenty of success stories of those that truly wish to change and are lucky enough to stumble upon an employer or mentor or sponsor of some sort that hands them an inkling of hope/trust that they use to fight their way back up.  The fic is fantasy, and while Zayn’s story is rooted in real world PTSD, I think the prisoner analogy is easy for us to envision and therefore, understand why Liam acts the way he does.  I also made it a point in the last scene when they’re talking things out to have Liam voice his contingency: if Zayn so much as spits at anyone, he’s done for.  That’s to say, he’s not wiping his slate clean just yet.

2)  Does Zayn still feel his useless killings were justified?

I’m going to answer assuming that you’re referring to the time after the fic ends.

Looking back at his actions is something that would be inevitable when he starts therapy, and this is a perfect example of one of the questions his therapist would ask.  You may not like my answer, but as an author I find it imperative that I speak of my characters realistically and to keep them true, not how I want them to act.  That said, yes, Zayn would still find justification in why he’s done what he’s done.

There are a few instances in the story where this is actually explained.  Take the scene in the bar with fancy mixologists.  Zayn begins to get aggravated over the people in the room simply because they’re ignorant to the feeling of significant pain.  There’s also the scene where he’s back home in Cheshire and Harry straight out tells him, he may be furious at the unfairness of the world, but he needs to learn how to come to terms with it.  It’s not going to change.  This right here is what a therapist would work with him to do, and also why I had Harry be the one to bring this up in the story - he is one.

I know it sounds incredibly foreign to the average person, but trust me when I say that people struggling with anger problems founded in (un)fairness, exist.  I’ve spoken with professionals about it.  Add on crippling childhood PTSD and a villain like Zayn can definitely be born.  It’s why treatment is needed, and why the answer is ‘yes’ in the beginning of Zayn’s journey to peace.  When his answer switches over to ‘no’, that’s when it’ll be outwardly apparent that he’s beating his ailment.  Unfortunately, for many, the inner battle with mental health is lifelong; the answer ‘no’ will never turn solid.

3)  Does Zayn feel guilty about the above?

Again, there are a couple times when I write Zayn to literally mention how he feels zero guilt.  However, if you really really pay attention you’ll notice that these instances aren’t villain related.

For example, meeting Liam’s parents:

After handing his father and Zayn each their tea, Liam looks between them suspiciously. "Leaving the two of you in a room together was a bad idea."

"Don't know what you're on about," Geoff replies innocently. "We were just talking about cars, weren't we Zayn?" Even with all eyes on him, the pressure of lying doesn't get to Zayn. It never does.

"Yeah," he agrees, bringing his drink up to his lips carefully, "cars."

Or, after Zayn walks out from the comedy club:

"It takes a lot of courage to get up there and do something like that, don't you think?"

"Not really."

Liam looks to the side, hoping that he can interpret more from Zayn's answers by seeing the expressions that go with their frankness. "So if I signed you up, you would do it?"

"Why would I want to make a room full of strangers laugh?" Zayn retorts, his right eye scrunching up in distaste, like it's a mannerism of his provoked by moronic questions. "I don't have a superiority complex." Liam thinks he might, but. "I know I'm better than those people, no mediocracy to cover up here."

So we’ve got those, but then we’ve also got this massive character point:

Right as the last of the snake's body emerges, Zayn snaps his fingers, triggering heavy hip-hop music to flow through his headphones and drown out the man's blood curdling cry.

If he could permanently damage people who deserved it, not always because they did something to Zayn, but because he liked to play god and throw them a massive curveball like life had done to him, then why shouldn't he? So long as he pulls his soundproof headphones off the little robot on the inside of his right arm to avoid listening to the pain his choice brutality caused, there's no valid reason he shouldn't take advantage of the gift he was given.

From where he's sitting, he probably won't be able to hear anything, but he fastens the equipment over his ears just in case.

All at once, the atmospheric sounds of central London, mixed with the terrified screams of those in the burning building beneath them, hit Zayn at full force. The sensory overload alone would normally be enough to piss him off, but tack on his protection from audible trauma being taken and being spoken to while in villain mode, and he's seeing red as deep as the pits of hell he knows he's destined for.

I wrote Zayn’s headphone usage as a way to alert that the reader that he does, in fact, feel villain-related guilt.  He can’t act on his anger without them on.  He’ll have his victims screams stuck in his head, and he’d never be able to handle that a.k.a. there’s zero satisfaction from their literal pain.  Think about that and it’ll answer your follow-up question.

4)  What happened to Zayn’s family?

Zayn’s father meant what he said - he’d do whatever he needed to reunite his family.  That wasn’t a falsity at all.  The problem is money.  And politics, but let’s start with the issue of money.  It took Yaser nine years to save up the amount he paid to have Zayn and Waliyha smuggled across the border.  The whole concept of smuggling is that it’s a cheaper option than the legal one.  So if we look at this, you can see how long it would take him to save for three adult visa fees, three adult plane tickets, and enough to stay afloat for a month or so when they get to England.  Now add in the politics of the early 2000s and the Afghanistan/Pakistan region.  We know that Yaser fixed air conditioners for a living.  No person with that average of a background is going to have an easy time immigrating anywhere.  Even so, would it really take him over 18 years?  While it’s plausible, perhaps a man with such determination would find another way.  Or...was that unnecessary because he was fed lies?

Think about it.  After several weeks and no word from his children, don’t you think he’d cause a riot?  He’s the type to drive over to Badar’s house and demand his relatives get in contact with him to find out what’s going on.  But, given the flashback Zayn has, it’s obvious that Badar never planned on accompanying any of the children to the UK, and if that’s the case, he clearly couldn’t return to Quetta.  I imagine a fully rehearsed story was told to all of the children’s parents about how they were killed somewhere along the way.

As for Waliyha, her whereabouts were told to my gang over on Patreon a while ago.  In short, yes, she’s still alive and I plan on pitching the book’s sequel to publishers as a graphic novel series revolved around her location.  Louis’ dark web bot finally found a hint as to where that might be, so Zayn and Liam go on a journey across Europe to find her.  Each issue would (probably) take place in a new city and involve both fighting a single bad guy.

Just a quick reminder to anyone who reads this, Red vs. Black and all involved characters are my intellectual property and cannot be replicated, manipulated, or stolen.

Again, thank you for your question and time!  I know my fics aren’t short and take a huge time commitment to finish.  If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to send them my way!  I’m super busy writing the next story and doing critical work, but I promise I’ll get around to it.

[scripttorture]

Hi (sorry if you're not taking asks right now)! I know that torture can't force someone to comply or obey their captors, but I'm assuming torturers still try this (if not please correct me). If they don't, what other methods do they use to get information? I have a character who is captured and tortured for information, but he doesn't give anything up. Why would torturers bother with it if they're going to be unsuccessful?

Torturers do still try thisand they often claim that what theydo is effective.

 The question of whether they actually believe that or not is aninteresting one.

 I get the impression that a lot of the time they do honestly andgenuinely believe torture is effective. They are….more than a little delusionaland tend to be rather convinced of their own importance.

 But- I think one of the things we need to understand in order topractically tackle torture in the real world is that information really isn’t the point. If it was then torturewould have been abandoned completely a very long time ago.

 The point is usually power. Kicking someone lower down the peckingorder. ‘Revenge’ for perceived societal level slights.

 How dare those homeless peoplewander into a nice neighbourhood. How darethose minorities ask for the same opportunities as everyone else.

 And so on.

 Italked a little bit about the reasons torture continues in an ask here.

 As you’ll probably be able to tell if you read through the ask the wholething makes me very very angry. Because it isso very pointless and preventable.

 So there are ‘reasons’ poor asthey are, even if torturers know they won’t get any information. And generally most torturers do seem tobelieve what they say that torture is ‘effective’.

 The extent to which they believe that doesn’t change the facts.

 As for how people get information- well that depends on whether you meaninvestigators or torturers.

 Torturers generally don’t tryanything that isn’t torture. I’ll talk more about that in a moment but I’d liketo cover genuine investigation first.

 Genuine investigators usually won’t put much stock ininterviews/interrogation, talking to suspects isn’t a particularly good way to get information.

 Igo into more detail on genuine investigation here but the crux of it isthat people willingly volunteering information is the backbone of police workand without it policing systems can’t function. Systematic forensicinvestigation also makes asignificant contribution. Watching people, mapping their routine and contacts,going through their documents, emails, phone records and so forth. Those areall possibilities for getting good, accurate information.

 Torturers don’t do any of thosethings.

 They tend to suffer from something Rejali called ‘deskilling’. Inessence when they start to torture they stopdoing everything else. And that means they gradually lose the skills theylearnt previously. They’re out of practice. They miss blindingly obviousthings.

 As an example Rejali quotes a case where a particular police departmentarrested a suspected terrorist. They confiscated his phone and computer. Theystarted torturing him. They tortured him for days without realising the information they wanted was on his computer.No body checked, they didn’t eventurn the damn thing on.

 That’s typical of how torturers operate.

 They also have a toxic and corrosive effect on any organisation they’repart of.

 They tend to basically split an organisation into torturers and peoplewho follow the rules. A group of people who shouldbe working together in order to achieve a goal, such as a police departmenttrying to get information, gets divided in two. The two groups spend most oftheir time trying to get around each other.

 Sometimes it gets so bad that the group fractures completely and the twofactions start killing each other. That’s not an exaggeration, (it happened inBrazil and Rejaligoes into it in some depth if you’re interested).

 The presence of torturers effectively hampers the investigative abilityof any organisation they’re part of. Both by having large numbers of people whoare torturing rather than working and by the strong negative effect torturershave on the people around them who actually areworking.

 In addition to this the presence of torturers makes people much lesslikely to volunteer information. That cuts off a major source of informationand hampers investigations further.

 So- basically torturers don’tuse methods of investigation and their presence in an organisation hamperspeople around them who do.

 But there’s nothing about the scenario that you’ve outlined that’simplausible.

 What you have is a good andrealistic use of torture in fiction.

 If you feel more motivation is necessary for some or all of yourtorturers then I do have a couple of masterposts that might help, as well asthe ask I linked to earlier.So this one here is how Rejali classifies torture in democratic countries,it talks a bit about the systems that encourage torture and stated motivations.

 I think you might also get something from some of the little studies Idid of torture being used for different ‘reasons’. I came up with this divisionto help writers so it’s a pretty different approach to Rejali. I think the poston Syria,focused on humiliating victims, the post on the Mau-Mau,focused on maiming victims and the post on Haitiand the slave trade, where torture was used to terrorise a large section ofthe population, would all be helpful for you.

 Honestly though? I don’t think you’ve got much to worry about.

 I hope this helps. :)

Disclaimer

[ganymedesclock]

Hello, I like your blog and all the metas that you have done. I'm in the process of writing a Voltron fic taking on account some of the metas that you have post and I hope that you're not offended by that. Only I have a doubt, do you think that Lance has some trigger in regards of his experience on the Castle? First was the bomb, then the cryo pod and later was almost expelled to the space. Do you think that he doesn't think about that or that experiences marked him unconsciously?

Oh dude, I’m honored if people take my meta and ideas and use them in fanworks. There’s a reason I make all this stuff available to everyone!

As far as Lance... I don’t know if the bomb would really have a big psychological effect on Lance because of the fact of- it didn’t exactly catch him off guard. He realized it was there before it went off, and his responses around the incident seem pretty mellow- Lance is the type where he virtually never bottles something. When he’s troubled, we as an audience see it.

I mean, I think you could still do some kind of follow-up writing to it. He probably does have a scar from that- I personally like the idea that the healing pod leaves faint, pale/bluish marks where it treats a wound so it might not be an obvious or ugly scar but it’d really depend on what you imagine, since not much of Lance’s state is elaborated on besides “bad” and the blast caught him in the back.

(he could’ve been struck in the back by shrapnel from the metal drone that was carrying the bomb, even- but I think in that case we would’ve seen blood and Shiro wouldn’t have laid him on his back)

The cryopod and the airlock incident, I think you could make a much bigger case for scaring Lance, because not only was he visibly unnerved both times but they had a similar theme of confined spaces. @leonawriter has kind of sold me on the idea of Lance who has never been claustrophobic before, but develops it after those incidents.

With my headcanon of neurodivergent Lance who knows himself and his brain pretty well, I could see the new addition kind of frustrating him, but also him trying to manage it more or less on his own- not hiding it, but not bringing it up unless he feels like it’s necessary, which might lead into a situation where he might agree to go into like. a mine shaft of “yeah, I’ll be fine!” and something happens like a cave-in that nobody was planning on and “oh jesus I am not fine”

It could even be that Lance might not realize the sort of lurking discomfort is part of something ‘that bad’ until it comes up one way or another and really sets him off- in which case I could see it going very interesting who you want to pair him with narratively.

Hunk would probably respond the best/easiest because he has a front-row understanding of how anxiety works, not to mention he’d be literally and figuratively in his element assuming he’s in the situation with Lance. If he’s on the outside in the hypothetical cave-in mission, he’d probably be the one digging them out via Yellow, so this could even be a relatively minor exploration of Lance and a more major exploration of Hunk, kind of like Greening the Cube was Pidge’s opportunity to save the day.

With Pidge I can imagine her initially snapping at him because she doesn’t realize quite how serious Lance’s response is, and then immediately after catching on that something’s really wrong and getting scared herself- and feeling guilty that she didn’t pay more attention or identify earlier that Lance was distressed from whatever warning signs he was giving off.

I feel like Keith is so used to a particular back-and-forth with Lance he’d catch on faster, but probably stress out more- he’d feel like he’s personally failing Lance because he doesn’t know what to say. I’m imagining Lance going uncharacteristically quiet and Keith is massively uncomfortable with this and starts chattering nervously to try and fill that void (it’s uncommon, but Keith does run his mouth when stressed sometimes- see his awfully transparent fibbing in s2e6)

With Shiro- we’ve seen with Slav that Shiro sometimes has a hard time understanding others’ trauma since he seems to be at kind of a rocky point with his own, kind of a “we can’t afford this now, we have to get everyone to safety!” but I don’t think he’d be that harsh or frustrated with Lance- because Shiro really does care about Lance, think about how upset Shiro was when Lance was hit by the bomb. So it’d probably be an interesting kind of roller coaster of Shiro being frustrated but trying not to take it out on Lance because he knows Lance doesn’t mean to do this, you don’t plan a breakdown- but it might push Shiro towards some personal epiphanies or reconsidering how he handles this situation vs. his own situation vs. Slav’s.

Allura, it’s hard to say. I think she’d try to sort of muscle through it initially because she has a bit of the same “we can’t afford this now everyone is in danger, can you try and keep it together” but if/when that doesn’t work she’d probably be more sympathetic, because Lance really is someone who works hard and carries his own weight with the team. They’d all notice, and worry, if he was having a major breakdown. 

I feel like Coran would notice fairly quickly, and probably comment on it first (“Looking a little drawn there, number three,”) and then kind of play it by ear, see if he can’t distract Lance, and in the cave-in scenario I imagine he’d be keeping Lance posted on Hunk’s progress. A more technical and slightly removed approach but one ultimately born from caring. 

Specifics of the dynamics could be jostled around with the situation and context; I’m personally a big sucker for Lance and Keith’s dynamic so if I was going to write this as a fic I’d probably have Keith, Pidge, Allura and Shiro in the cave with him with Coran and Hunk on the outside trying to dig them out. But you could pretty much tweak it to taste.