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the-mandalorian-clone-lover · 4 years ago

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Aces in Space Chapter 5

Happy Ace Week Y’all!!!!!!!

Ok I am so Excited for this part (I hadn’t planned for it to be during ace week but it actually works perfect!)

Roman is finally getting to go to the support group he told Butch about! I put a reminder of what Butch looks like because I’m also introducing a new character, Hannah, her reference photo is below (one of my real-life model friends, she’s cool:) as well. Tags: @sunshinepascal @rentskenobi @maybege @obaby-wan @princessxkenobi

I’m going outside to muck about with my lightsaber again, I’ll add the links to the previous chapters tonight :D Enjoy and thanks for reading!!!

Warning for excessive cuteness y’all this gets adorable

(Roman at the support group at the local library, brought Butcher along, 2 months dating)

Roman is absolutely certain it’s been years since he sat in the passenger seat. Thankfully, it isn’t Butch’s first time in years driving or he’d be thrilled to get out of the car. As it stands, they’ve been sitting in the parking lot of the local community center (its adjoined to the library) for three minutes and neither of them have moved. It won’t make them late, they got here 26 minutes early out of a panic induced need to be over-prepared, but it doesn’t make the silence any less awkward. Butch had insisted they would look even more out of place in the suits they’re both used to wearing so they’ve somehow ended up in jeans (again) and t-shirts (Butch added a flannel but Roman is convinced it’s to hide his side-arm and not to ward off any chill, the rolling of the sleeves further cements this thought). Roman settled for a band t-shirt that Erica had bought him though he’s never heard their music, and he has a leather jacket but he’s somehow convinced it’ll look like he’s trying too hard if he puts it on.

“It’ll be cold in there boss. Always is” Butch says helpfully, as if he knew the struggle of the other man, though his eyes haven’t left the window since they arrived.

“Yes. Well.” Roman starts, unsure where exactly this sentence is going “I’m, glad, you came along.”

Butch huffs out a laugh, “Well, Ms. Erica is a good one, so if you coming around here helps keep her around, I’ll be along as long as you want me” He finishes smiling at Roman and Roman is certain that he’ll never find anyone as good as Butch as long as he lives, no matter the standard of measure.

“We better get in there.” Butch speaks again helpfully.

“No, no,” Roman starts “best wait till 45, any sooner we might be the first one’s here, and I’d like to avoid that.” Butch shrugs again, conceding the point. He supposes they’ll be facing this either way, sooner or later.

When they do make it in, Roman walks to the desk with every intention of finding out from the librarian where he should be. He’s put on his business air, he can feel it, and it’s a nice change from the panic of the parking lot. He starts in a low tone to avoid startling her “Ma’am?”

Her eyes shoot up and then to his right where no doubt butch is looming, she swallows, then smiles and looks back to Roman. “Yes? Can I help you?”

Choosing to ignore the obvious glance that was directed to Butch (he has every intention of inquiring further into that during the car ride home) he pushes on. “Could you tell us where to find the, well, the support group for Asexuals?” He has to take a breath in-between but decides to be brave about it, using the full title instead of ‘aces’ reminding himself that this is for Erica. Her eyes widen slightly, then flit between the two of them and Roman realizes in a moment how they must look and decides there isn’t anything for it other than to grin and bear it.

“Oh,” she starts, and sounds, almost disappointed? “Yes, down the hall and the room on the right. They should be starting soon.” She indicates with a (rather long) manicured fingernail.

He nods then, giving her a small smile, and starts down the hallway, only getting a few steps in before realizing Butch isn’t following and he hears a small “what’s your name?” from the large man as he turns. The sight shouldn’t be shocking, Butch is a grown man after all, and fully allowed to find people that interest him but he’s become so soft in the moment; leaning over the desk to look deeply into the eyes of the librarian who is now looking short of breath.

“Hannah.” She manages to gasp out and Butch smiles kindly, “I’m Butcher, but I go by Butch pretty often”. He seems to have gotten nervous halfway through and is looking at his feet, but she’s smiling and reaching to cover his laced fingers that are on the desk. “That’s lovely” She says, smiling like Butch was a bouquet of flowers. Butch looks up, slightly shocked, looking at their hands (his dwarf her own to a ridiculous extent Roman notes) before looking back up to her eyes.

“Not as much as you are”

It’s the final nail in the coffin before they both start giggling and Roman is absolutely certain he’s never seen anything so adorable (even as he goes to a support group in order to better understand his girlfriend). Butch stops laughing before she does, pausing to appreciate her (Roman knows that’s what the look on his face is, he looks at Erica like that all the time now himself) before he watches Butch tell her he better get on now. Roman has the decency to act as though he were extremely interested in the shelves to his left- away from them- before he’s rejoined by a Butch who has the softest grin he’s ever seen on his face. As they walk down the hall Roman decides to leave the whole thing till they’re in the car again, if the dopey smile is anything to go by, he won’t be getting much from Butch anyway. He takes a deep breath at the reminder of what they’re both walking into, ignoring the urge to feel ridiculous, and brings out his phone to open the notes app before sliding it into his pocket again. They walk through the door, Butch first, he’d insisted on the drive over that he was still Roman’s bodyguard and would act as such, and find a group of about 15 milling around the room quietly, cake and bottles of water sitting on a table on the far end of the room. Beyond that (and Roman has to suppress the urge to sigh audibly) is a circle of chairs. They’re approached by a smaller blond boy, who greets them with an energy filled “Hello! Are you here for the support group for aces?” he pushes the large rimmed black glasses he wears further up his face as he looks between them and Roman exchanges a glance with Butch before answering

“Yes, is um, is there a protocol to this?”

He blames his nerves for the formality of his response, but the boy seems too thrilled with his presence to be bothered.

“Not at all! We all grab a snack, because cake am I right? And then head to the circle, though, to be honest, most of us couldn’t sit in a chair to save our life.”

Despite his confusion at what he’s sure is a joke the boy is assuming he’s in on, he nods. “We’ll just, help ourselves then.”

The boy nods back at him before freezing and exclaiming “Oh God! I forgot!” his hand shoots out and Roman knows Butcher is already having a conniption at the outburst before the boy finishes “I’m Tom! Jenny says it’s important to tell people my name when I meet them”. His eyes flit behind him as he mentions the other name and a similar looking woman, an older sibling maybe, Roman thinks, smiles affectionately. Roman nods to her then, before bringing his eyes back to the boy, shaking his hand with a “I’m Roman, and this is Butch”. He doesn’t think he needs to add more but the boy’s brow seems to furrow as he shakes Butch’s hand.

“Do, um, are you both Ace?” It’s a timid question but Roman can tell the boy means well, he can also however see the woman, Jenny his mind supplies, making her way over to them quickly.

“I’m so sorry” she says, barely reaching them before apologizing “Tom hasn’t quite learned yet that not everyone wants to say” her hands find the boys shoulders and he turns with a protest “Jenny! I’m almost 22! I’m not a child!”

“Have you said hello to Marie yet?” She changes the subject “I think she brough cookies today”

Almost immediately the boy lights up and is off to explore the new person. Jenny’s eyes go back to Roman, “I’m sorry, he’s on the autism spectrum, I’m still working with him about filters”.

It’s Butch that cuts in this time “It’s alright, I had a sister who was too, I’ll keep him company”. He walks to the snack table then, leaving a stunned Roman alone with Jenny. As long as he’s known Butcher, he never knew he had a sister, let alone one on the spectrum. He makes a mental note to ask Butcher about that on the car ride too. He turns back to Jenny then and manages a smile.

“I’m uh, well, neither one of us is ace” he sees tension begin to fill her body at that so he rushes on “but my girlfriend is and, I want to better understand the whole thing. Butch is here for moral support.” He jerks his head to indicate the other man in case she hadn’t heard the name and hopes for the best. She does seem to relax at that, eyeing him gently “That’s sweet. Of both of you.” It’s said kindly, and somehow, Roman is already feeling more comfortable about this.

He stays a little longer after they finish to ‘confirm next week with jenny’ give Butch time to get a phone number from his librarian and tells Butch he’ll meet him at the car.

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Chapter 4 Chapter 3 Chapter 2 Chapter 1

#asexual #ewan mcgregor #aces in spaces #ace character #original characters #original fic #new chapter #might make a masterlist?#then i don't have to hunt for the links each time

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rosesisupposes · 6 years ago

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Ordinary Night

“send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it”

Prompt Tag

word count: 3,875

pairings: Ex-Anxceit; Background Remile;

warnings: divorce/abandonment; lost child; mentions of depressive and manic episodes; distressed nonverbal episode;

reader tags: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @bewarethegrammarpolice @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty

I came up with the Single Dad AU a while ago but it’s never emerged from Discord to become a full story, but I love it very, very much. So thank you, nonny, for the excuse

Read on Ao3

“Give it back!”

“No, Dad said it’s my turn to pick the movie!”

“You always pick the same one! I’m tired of Winnie the Pooh!”

“But I like it!”

“Can we at least watch the Tigger one?”

“No! Pooh Bear!”

Young voices whined back and forth in an argument that had been held at least once a week for the last three months in the Sanders household. Six-year-old Patton was climbing on top of the couch cushions, brandishing the remote as eight-year-old Roman tried to reclaim it. Their younger brother, four-year-old Logan, watched from the corner in silence.

Their dad entered the room and, with practiced ease, plucked Patton from his teetering perch on the couch.

“Hey, hey, buddy, careful, okay? You might fall from up there!”

“Daaddd, Ro is trying to take my night again!”

The single father balanced his middle son on his hip as he looked sternly down his eldest.

“Roman, what have we talked about with movie nights?”

The second-grader sighed heavily, crossing his arms. “He gets to pick whatever movie he wants,” he recited, blowing strawberry blonde hair out of his eyes. “Even if it’s boring.”

“Pooh Bear isn’t boring!” Patton objected loudly, making his father wince from the volume.

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Boys. We will skip movie night entirely if you can’t behave,” Dad warned. Both children immediately went silent, but stuck tongues out at each other when they thought Dad couldn’t see.

“I’m going on an adventure, so that at least not all of today is boring,” Roman announced, running to the toy box for his tiny foam sword. “Where’s my noble steed?”

“I wanna come!” Patton cried, wriggling out of his father’s hold. Taking the remote back, Dad let him go as a small smile crept up at the corners of his mouth. How quickly they went from feuding to playing.

“Let’s go slay a dragon!” Roman cried, stabbing the air.

“What if we fight a witch?” said Patton with huge eyes, grabbing his matching foam shield.

“A dragon-witch!” Roman announced happily. “Lolo, wanna come?”

The youngest looked at the floor through glasses he already needed. “…don’ wanna”

“Aw, Lolo, you sure?”

“…scary,” the toddler said.

“We’ll protect you,” Patton said, crouching to look in his brother’s eyes. “Roro is the best knight ever! And I have a shield!”

Logan shook his head. Patton sighed and carefully patted his hand. “Next time? But only if you wanna, okay?”

Satisfied at the small nod, Patton trotted upstairs. Roman cast around before crouching behind the couch. “Ah! My steed!” he said happily. He stood with a cat in his arms. The tom bore being carried with long-suffering patience, held around the middle by small arms that could only just make it all the way around.

“Ro, be careful with Thomas, okay?” Dad warned. “Pat’s taken his medicine, but don’t let him bury his face in fur again.”

“Yes, I’ll be careful,” Roman said with all the indignance a eight-year-old could muster. He jauntily strode up the stairs after his brother, arms full of cat and sword.

His father watched him go as he settled on the couch. Logan crawled up into his lap and settled there, sitting up straight but balanced on his dad’s knee.

“Hey there, L. No adventure today?”

Logan shook his head.

“Just don’t want to, or something wrong?”

The little boy was silent.

“How is touching today? Thumbs up?” his dad asked, hand creating the gesture he referred to. His son responded in kind. Moving slowly, Dad pulled Logan into his chest, resting a hand lightly in the boy’s dark brown hair.

“Do you have the words for the something wrong, or is it just bad?” he asked softly.

“…miss Papa,” Logan replied, turning his head fully into Dad’s chest.

His father kissed the top of his head and held him close. He knew of his son’s tears from the dampness on his shirt rather than any sounds or shaking. When he could finally speak evenly, he replied, “I miss him too, Lolo.”

“When does he come back?”

“Maybe never.”

“Why?”

“I wish I knew, kiddo. I’m sorry I can’t give you a good reason.”

Logan clutched at the fabric of Dad’s shirt, still not looking up.

His father kissed his head again and leaned back against the couch, looking up at the ceiling as he blinked away tears. He was so tired of crying, so tired of knowing neither he nor his sons might ever understand why their other father had left. But it had been months without any communication, since they came home from the park to an empty house and a missing suitcase.

Three young boys, one beloved cat, one father who’d just lost the love of his life and his partner parent all at once. That was the Sanders household now. A night of childish yells and tears from the boys and their father alike: this was an ordinary night.

So how was Dad doing? He was a nervous wreck, of course. If he’d been a bit on edge before, it was nothing compared to the absolute personification of anxiety Virgil had become now.

As he breathed deeply to calm himself, Virgil ran a hand lightly through Logan’s soft, wavy hair. “What do you say to some Magic School Bus before dinner, Lo? Would that be good?”

“Mmhmm,” the toddler said with a nod, sliding off his dad’s lap.

As Virgil stood, Logan reached for his hand and pulled him towards the stairs. Virgil let himself be led to the smallest bedroom, where Logan immediately went to his small but growing book collection. He pulled out a CD that Virgil then placed in the small speakers he’d bought, back when he and his ex had adopted Roman. The “Baby Boombox,” Ethan had called it, as he filled Ro’s room with all his favorite Broadway soundtracks and Disney ballads. Then had come Patton, with Raffi songs and lullabies because they were the only things that would send him to sleep smiling when Roman was still active during naptime. And now there was Logan, who was soothed by the smooth strains of classical musicals and who listened with rapt attention (if not complete understanding) to audiobooks of all kinds. Virgil popped in Logan’s choice, “Lost in Space” and set it to play. Logan scooted his tiny plush chair as close as he could to the speaker and sat, staring up in wonder as his favorite narrator read about Ms. Frizzle’s class and whirling planets. Without interrupting, Virgil slipped out of his youngest son’s room and made his way to the kitchen to start dinner.

The pasta was cooking and the sauce bubbling on the stove when Virgil’s phone buzzed against the counter. He glanced at the screen and smiled.

If the past year had taught him anything, it was just how important family could be. He and his brother use to have a rather rocky relationship, never spending much time together. Unfortunately, Ethan had been part of the reason for the rift - Remy had never liked his brother-in-law and was never any good at hiding it. Normally when he was proven right about anything, Remy held it over his younger brother’s head for the rest of their lives. But not this time. Not when they’d sparked into full-on screaming matches over the years as Virgil asserted that Remy was wrong about Ethan. He was a good partner and an amazing father. He’d even said it, hadn’t he? His biggest ambition in life was to be a good papa.

Guess that had been a lie, too.

But no amount of friction and distance could have kept Remy away the night Virgil had called in tears. “Nuncle” Remy had been a near-constant fixture in the Sanders house ever since, particularly in those first couple of months. It had been Remy who’d suggested Virgil get the boys to therapists early, right after the split. It had been Remy’s husband Emile who’d found them matches among his colleagues, ones who made the boys feel safe and heard. It had been those therapists who discovered the reason behind Roman’s mood swings, identifying his bipolar personality disorder early and helping Virgil to get him the appropriate treatment. It had been Emile who’d cautiously suggested he get Logan fully evaluated for autism, and found him compassionate parenting resources to help relate and communicate with Lo better. Virgil would be a wreck without his brother and brother-in-law – or, rather, he’d be more of a wreck.

Which is why, when Logan went missing, Remy was the instinctual first call.

He’d heard Roman and Patton bounce down the stairs into the den, making dramatic sound effects as they fought their dragon-witch. He hadn’t heard the door open, or the soft steps of Logan following his brothers downstairs. He hadn’t seen Thomathy the tomcat be loosed into the yard as Roman cried, “Ride into the sunset, noble steed!” He hadn’t seen Logan stand on his tiptoes to re-open the door and follow the cat outdoors.

He’d just called for the older two boys and gone upstairs to get Logan when he’d found the CD player off and the chair empty. And that’s when the panic had kicked in.

“Lolo?” he called upstairs.

“Buddy?” he asked the den.

“Logan?!” he almost screeched into the basement.

Roman and Patton were obediently sitting at the kitchen table, fidgeting, when Virgil re-entered, eyes ablaze. “Where’s your brother? Was he playing with you?”

“No, he was too scared,” Roman scoffed.

Patton, on the other hand, looked concerned. “I think maybe he followed us? He was trying to pet Tommy.”

“Where is Thomas?” their father asked, the edge in his voice rising. “You were playing with him, where did he go?”

Roman shrank in his seat as he realized this was more than just make-believe. “He… I wanted him to be free?” He pointed to the back door with a shaky hand.

Virgil stared at his eldest son, biting back harsh words of frustration. He was eight, he didn’t know better yet. But the panic was rising, thrumming through his veins and disrupting his ability to think straight.

He grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial to Remy.

“Rem? I need you here,” he said the minute his brother picked up. “Logan got out of the house chasing the cat.”

“Shit, okay, I’ll be there in 5,” Remy said, already hanging up before Virgil could point out that he lived a ten-minute drive away. He arrived in three. Normally his driving habits pissed Virgil the hell off, but at that moment, it was all he can do to not cry in relief as he grabbed a flashlight and his extensive first aid kit from under the sink and ran out the back door.

Remy was soon placing himself bodily in front of the door to prevent either older brother from charging after.

“I’m a bad prince, I’m the villain,” Roman choked out through his tears. “It’s all my fault.”

“I gotta keep him safe!” Patton said. He tried and failed to climb onto the counter, but grabbed what ‘supplies’ he could reach into his school bag, a collection of juiceboxes and goldfish and band-aids.

“Hey, hey, little dudes, c’mon,” Remy said, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “C’mere.”

They were just small enough and he was just big enough to gather them both into his arms at once, even as they wriggled and tried to escape.

“Dad’s gonna get Lo back, okay? They’ll both be back soon,” he said, carrying the boys to the couch. “And Tomma-llama-ding-dong too.” He placed them both on the couch. They were both red-eyed and drippy-noed, but no longer trying to make a break for it. He grabbed tissues and wiped their faces and noses, moving gently. He watched Roman particularly hard. He’d been present for downward spirals before, when the mania and hyperactivity fell, gradually or suddenly, into dark days where the boy could barely get out of bed.

Remy ran soft fingers through Roman’s light hair, remembering. The worst depressive episode had lasted a full week and a half, and Virgil had been despondent. It was right after that bastard Virgil’s ex had walked out on them, and of course Virgil had blamed himself, telling Remy that Ro’s depression was all his fault for not being a good enough father. He would have curled up around his boy and begged him to be okay, if Remy hadn’t sat on his chest reminded him that he had two other sons that needed him. Childish? Yes, quite literally, sitting on him was Remy’s favorite way of picking on his little brother when they had been children themselves. But it had worked, and Roman was getting treatment now, both medications and therapy, and both his uncles and his dad had learned strategies to help keep him from getting trapped in his up- and down-swings.

Now, Patton imitated Remy, patting a slightly-stick hand on Roman’s shoulder in a sweet attempt at grounding techniques. More than any of the boys, Patton took after Virgil, always trying to keep his brothers safe. He was fierce in his defense of them towards others, but gentle and soft when he saw them sad. Remy ruffled Patton’s honey-gold curls with his free hand and stood. He had Roman and Patton Sanders in his care, and they were sad and worried. It was time for some Disney movies.

The sun was falling below the horizon as Logan followed the family cat into the woods behind their house. He trotted as fast as his still-chubby toddler legs could carry him, following the brown-and-black striped tail of the big tabby. Galloping paws quickly carried the pet out of sight, but Logan kept plodding along in the same vague direction. Scarcely noticing the growing dark, he clutched his worn, stuffed octopus tightly in one hand as he walked further and further into the forest. When Papa had asked when he wanted to name it, he’d looked up and said “Octopus.” His tone had been one of “Well, duh,” and his voice had been so deadpan for a three-year-old that Virgil had fallen into intermittent fits of giggles for hours after. But he’d carried it continuously ever since, particularly as he listened to his books on the deep sea. He clutched it tight as he finally caught up to Thomas. The tabby had found a mossy patch under a tree, caught in the last patch of sunlight, and curled up contently. Logan sat next to him and patted his head, content that he’d finally done what he set out to do. But looking up, the toddler realized he could no longer see the edge of the forest and wasn’t sure which direction he’d come from. He was in the middle of the forest, alone, with no notion of how to get home. Logan didn’t cry, or yell, or flail. He just froze, everything locking down in the face of a situation he didn’t understand and couldn’t solve. He might have stood like that for minutes or hours, but Thomcat chose that moment to stand with a stretch and wind his way around his smallest family member, purring as he rubbed up against Logan’s short legs. The warmth drew him out of his paralysis, and he sat heavily on the mossy stump. The cat leapt into his lap, covering most of his tiny torso in warm fur as the beloved pet continued to purr. Clutching tufts of Thomas’ fur in one hand and Octopus in the other, Logan’s emotions thawed and he started to sniffle, then cry aloud. His hiccups and sobs reverberated off the unfamiliar trees that surrounded him.

Virgil crashed through the trees, flashlight and first aid kit in hand, trying his best to keep a level head. Logan was missing. His little boy, the tiniest, quietest member of their family, was alone, somewhere probably dying in the forest definitely kidnapped by child stealers lost in the unfriendly woods. He’d made that promise, over and over again through the long adoption process: he would keep his sons safe. He would protect them. He wouldn’t let anything dangerous happen to them. Ethan may not have meant it, but Virgil had, with every fiber of his being. He would keep his family safe, every single member.

He trusted Remy to be a good caretaker to Pat and Ro right now, but he worried for his eldest. He just dashed into ideas and plans without thinking, so much more than either of his brothers. And of course, Virgil knew why. A memory sprang to life like a film reel in his head without his bidding.

“Papa, look at me! I’m gonna be just like Peter Pan! I can fly!”

“Of course you can, Roro! If you wish hard enough!”

A summer day, lazy and bathed in golden light. It had been magical in a way - no wonder Roman had believed in super abilities. But that moment, Virgil had finally seen what was happening as he rounded the corner, an infant Logan strapped to his chest and Patton holding his hand.

“Fly- Roro! Kiddo, please get down from the roof!”

Ethan had just chuckled. “Shhh, V, he’ll probably be fine. He’s gotta learn somehow, right?”

Patton, all of three years old and still lisping, had shook a finger at his older brother.

“Wowo, get down fwom thewe!”

“You can’t stop me, ‘m a PRINCE!” the five-year-old had yelled back, approaching the edge of the shed roof.

Virgil had dropped Pat’s hand to run, shrieking more than speaking as he yelled, “Roman Sanders, do not jump off that roof! You’re going to get down safely!”

Ethan had barely budged, too busy laughing his ass off. It had ended up being Virgil alone who helped Roman get down, letting him be Dad the Downer while Papa stayed ‘the fun one’ in Roman’s eyes. Was it any wonder he’d blamed himself for Ro’s bipolar swings?

But he’d learned better since then. Being a ‘fun’ dad didn’t matter at all if he couldn’t keep them safe, first and foremost. He would find his little boy, and their cat, and he would bring them home. He checked his first aid kit as he walked and sighed with relief. He’d remembered to re-stock it recently. In addition to the bandages and ice packs and ointments and band-aids in everyone’s favorite characters, he’d packed everyone’s favorite treats. He had cat treats for Thomas, which he immediately took out and started wafting, and he had tiny containers of Crofter’s jelly, Logan’s only favorite food that he always wanted to eat, no matter his mood. Virgil listened to the forest hard for any noise besides the rustling wind. He had his flashlight turned on even before the sun fully set, to make sure Logan would see him coming. His heart still raced, frantically pointing out every passing second and minute that his son remained missing. Every moment he was out here was another moment he could be tripping over roots or eating poisonous berries or getting a rash or being abducted or hitting his head or…

Deep breaths, Virge, he reminded himself. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. The calming reminders in his head spoke with Emile’s voice, gentle and soothing. He could only do his job as Dad if he kept his head and stayed alert. He listened hard again, noting small animals, leaves falling, choked sobs, branches cracking, distant cars, and -

Sobs! Where were they coming from?

He picked up his pace, needing to double back a couple times before he was heading in the direction of the noise. He swept his flashlight in front of him with one hand and shook the cat treats with the other as he called out.

“Logan? Is that you? Logan? Thomas?”

The sobs stopped abruptly, and the flashlight beam illuminated a tiny form unraveling itself from a fluffy one almost the same size. “Dada?”

Virgil sprinted the last few yards. He worried for a moment that Logan might need to avoid touch right now, but that fear was dispelled with the toddler threw himself into his father’s arms.

“Lolo, are you alright? I was so worried, kiddo! Did you hurt yourself? Were you scared? I’m here, I’ll get you home, okay?”

“Dada, ‘m sorry.”

“Why sorry, Loberry?”

“I was bad, an’ I got lost,” Logan said, gripping Virgil’s jacket and Octopus with equal tightness.

“Oh, my little Lo, no, you weren’t bad. We should have been with you, I should have been watching. I’m so sorry, honeybear. But you’re safe now, okay? We’re gonna go home.”

Virgil knelt, picking up Logan and balancing him on one hip, then picking up a long-suffering Thomas and draping the cat over his shoulder. He was a bit encumbered by his first aid kit, but nothing could bother him now that his little boy was safely in his arms.

Searching for Logan had felt like an eternity, but had been less than 20 minutes. When father and son and cat entered the back door, the Disney movie (Sleeping Beauty, Remy’s choice) hadn’t yet finished. The door closing woke up Roman and Patton from where they had dozed off, but they were immediately up and hugging Virgil’s legs.

Their father ruffled their heads as he gentled let Logan stand on his own, then pulled them all into a group hug.

“We’re gonna talk tomorrow, okay, kiddos? About Thomas safety and Lolo safety. But tonight we’ll just relax together, now that we’re all home. I love you all so much.”

“I love you, Dad”

“Love you too!”

“Me too, Dada.”

By the end of the night and the second movie (Atlantis, Logan’s request, and Patton had conceded that he didn’t want any movies with woods), the Sanders house had quieted. Virgil could feel his heartbeat return to normal for the first time in hours as he gazed fondly at his sons. All three had fallen asleep, sprawled across the couch and Virgil’s lap. Remy had helped them change before heading home with a last firm hug and reassurance that, “You done good, bro.” Logan’s head rested on Virgil’s thigh, the horn of his unicorn onesie flopping over as he slept. Patton was snuggled up as close as Logan had okayed, cat ears folded over on his one onesie. And Roman had pulled a pillow on the ground so that he could be next to all of them, a tiny lion defending his pride in the onesie that he was practically “too old for,” but that he’d still wear when Pat asked him to. Thomas the tomcat, exhausted by his forest adventure, was curled into a ball in a laundry basket.

So how was Dad doing?

He’d never be completely at ease, not with so much depending on him, not with so many obstacles to overcome. But for tonight, Virgil was content.

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blipblorpsnork · 5 years ago

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like god okay what a small detail like. okay so like shoves all my thoughts into a cup and shakes it til they meld properly OKAY. So like I’m super used to third wheeling, and not even in an explicitly bad way. I walk a bit slow, and when I’m out with friends and we’re window shopping and shit if it’s three of us it genuinely always ends up that I get left out of conversation because I wander and am a bit? Idk like, zoney? Like wispy, when I’m out window shopping, with or without friends, I’m not sure how to explain that.

oh my god this is three miles long so I’m putting it under a cut

Anyways the thing is, people always end up walking ahead of me; I always get pushed to the back (partly because I DON’T like people walking behind me in groups unless it’s in a structured line, it freaks me out) and like because of that, and because I’m very bad with social stuff sometimes I almost always get excluded from conversations. I don’t know how to add to them, and I don’t get addressed because I don’t participate, so eventually between the autism and the hearing issues I just tune people out because it makes more sense to do my own thing a lot of the time.

Last night we were wandering around Walmart, the three of us, just kinda browsing and window shopping because our Walmart is WEIRDLY nice, like it’s one of the best I’ve ever been in and we get loads of cool stuff none of our other friends do, including J despite the fact that he like, lives maybe a half hour to forty minutes out from us near Atlanta. Like it wasn’t anything special; just looking at stuff and making dumb remarks and like. Plastic Mermaid jokes tm lmfao.

J literally made sure I was included the entire time in a way that didn’t even feel like he was going out of his way to do it. Like, he kind of wandered between me and E, and talked with both of us, and when E was going off on one of his tangents to himself (something he does a lot, which we all acknowledge and unless he’s addressing us directly we’re free to listen or not, at his behest; it’s just a thing he does so we aren’t ignoring him by not interacting, just for reference’s sake) J would like, point something out and make a cheeky comment at me, or silently show me a thing that I could ogle or touch because it was soft and stuff like that. And like E wasn’t really paying attention but J and I kept making jokes about all the shoddy plastic mermaid stuff in the kids’ section and kept finding more and more stuff to make increasingly hilarious jokes about, to the point he was like “This is my new aesthetic now” and I was like “Time to delete your page and make a new one!” (He has like 60K + followers on Insta bc he does loads of emo mua stuff)

Like we had so many little inside jokes and he and I kept geeking out over the FNaF stuff together and like, even the little tacky ribbons and bows (like the genuinely ugly ones) in the girls’ clothing section and how even though it was awful we both liked it and like!! Ya know!! And like the entire time all THREE of us were included, but not all the time at the same time if that makes sense? Like we didn’t all have to always be engaged, but we were still all involved, and like we each had little dichotomies going on between us as pairs (me and J, me and E, them two), idk if I’m wording that right lmao. But it didn’t feel forced and it didn’t feel excluding! Which?!

I’ve never had that. Like he always makes me feel like I matter and am literally a part of the group, instead of an afterthought or a tag-a-lolng. And like he does it in a way that makes me know he’s making sure I know, but also does NOT feel like he’s going out of his way to do it. Like it feels super natural. God like it was such small, little things dude like?

And E isn’t into FNaF pretty much at all, but knows we both really are. So he’ll point stuff out to us because he knows how much we love it, but he can’t really engage in the freaking out lmfao. But J was like freaking out with me left and right over so much stuff like over watches and plushes and figurines and stuff (all in Walmart like damn, now that I’m breaking this down we really DO have a good fucking store lmao) and we like discussed lore and made jokes and like.

I HAVEN’T HAD THIS IN SO LONG OKAY????

And then like, so I work somewhere I get an employee discount, and then an additional clothing discount (even on clearanced stuff, which is FANTASTIC because that means if we have clearanced shirts I like, I can get brand new clothing on the super cheap which is something I very much so value as someone who lives well below the poverty line) and because of that I managed to get two FNaF snapbacks for just over 5 dollars after tax, or just under, idr precisely. But basically two LICENSED OFFICIAL SNAPS for 5 bucks. These are 20 dollar hats lmfao. And I gave one of them to J because that’s why I got two of them, yeah? And so like, he got this new hat a week or so ago that he’s OBSESSED with and he wears it everywhere right now, and of course he was wearing it when he got here. I gave him the snap and he IMMEDIATELY swapped out his bunny hat for the snap, and then wore it the literal rest of the night. (Also? It looked REALLY gd good over the red wig he was wearing, god damn that was a look.)

So many little things, you know?? Like so so many holy shit. I’M NOT DONE AAAA

So then like when we got back we decided to marathon Monster High because E and I have never seen it and J is completely in love with it and does loads of cosplays and makeup looks for it on his account right. We marathoned 2 full seasons of it last night, all three of us bundled on the couch in separate blanket piles. (It was actually really fucking funny looking tbh xD) And like I mentioned he could use the blanket I made if he wanted so he spent the rest of the night with it wrapped around his shoulders dragging it everywhere lmfao and then like he mentioned he was in a bundle up and cuddle something quiet kinda mood (all three of us were pretty low energy yesterday so it worked for the best, I feel) so I gave him Ace, who is my current comfort plushy I got recently (he’s a Squishmallow!!) and he spent HOURS just hugging and cuddling and idly playing with Ace and it was the cutest fucking thing oh my g o d.

And like so he and E are close. Dating. I hate it. I still love E. I don’t want to. It hurts. It. Really hurts. And I’ve never really talked about it because I don’t fucking want to, it REALLY hurts me. And every time E would get kinda tentatively snuggly with J (they’re very considerate of me and kind of not sure what they are, so it wasn’t malicious or anything, but it was painful) I would get kinda quiet and just make sure I was focusing on the show or my phone. But by the end of the night, E was laying half on J’s shoulder, and J was sitting cockeyed and leaning heavily into me in a way that didn’t mush my spine or hips (usually a big issue just because I’m fragile lmfao) and like I was casually in contact with him for the last couple hours he was here and just.

So many small things.

And like god fuck you can all ignore this jfc xD But!! So his favorite favorite character, like kin-level seriously-relate-to-him-so-much cosplay-him-on-the-regs character is Jackson. And he really loves Holt as well cause duh of course he does. And like!!! I relate to him so fucking MUCH. And I’ve only seen two seasons but I was internally freaking out because of the way Jackson is and like the music being the trigger for Holt Hyde because I’m extremely sound sensitive and like!!! AAAAAAAAAa new character attachment babey and he was like SUPER SUPER SUPER excited that we both loved MH as much as we did and that I was so IMMEDIATELY attached to Jackson and just.

Gaaaaaaaah. I just. I’m happy. I’m in trouble lmao but man. Right now,,, I’m just happy.

#kalen.txt #extremely long post vndfvjkndsfjkl #j tag #e tag #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

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