#useless psychiatrist
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Some Hannibals for your dashboard today. He was singing to me from the tree earlier and FLOPPING DANGEROUSLY AROUND UP THERE... then he got a package.
Becca bought him a new bed that is coffin shaped because it was Han sized. He's enjoying it and the lid that doubles as a scratching board.
My big dumb baby.....
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Was doing a warm up on my iPad testing out some brush settings I tweaked and doodled myself. Kinda started laughing and ended up doing a Meet the Artist???? SURE.
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Like he has an appointment.
Owning a black cat is awesome because you’ll leave the bathroom and The Shape will be waiting for you
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guess who finally got a diagnosis after 13 fucking years of wondering what the hell was wrong with me!!
#bpd + bipolar gang#on the first consultation too. man my previous psychiatrists were all fucking useless#dante.txt
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okay. tomorrow i’ll be responsible and beg my gp to prescribe my antidepressants on the nhs but tonight i just want to be self-destructive i think. i’ll be fine, i’m just tired and miserable and realising being off my meds sucks, actually
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seeing my therapist for the first time since watching the passenger what do I say
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i wish i could just sleep forever
#my psychiatrist literally told me that they cant help me anymore and that i just need to go to the hospital#not in those exact words but. yeah you get it.#and all my family thinks im a stupid useless lazy suicidal drug addict . thats nice!#also im sick and my body hurts 😫
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In a turn of events unsurprising to everyone except the bipolar person, the mood stabilizer I've been tritating off of that wasn't doing anything was in fact stabilizing my mood
#bipolar disorder#thinking my meds arent doing anything and wanting to get off of them is a tale as old as time#my poor psychiatrist has been patiently listening to me go off about how useless the meds are and gently directing me to titrate off slowly#unfortunately i cant just get back on them because they are a possible source of my memory problems#however my money is on the memory problems being due to cptsd not med side effects#i think i have good coping skills for the mood rollercoaster#theyre def being put to the test
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Enjoy my Hannibal and William's I've been forgetting to upload 💖💖
hey
you
show me ur pets
(exotic or otherwise i love them all)
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I have such a beautiful and photogenic cat, and he absolutely fucking hates his picture being taken... Like if he sees your phone? He purposely looks away from you... rude little Hannibal.
He loves this stupid coffin bed...
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theres something really funny (aka i want to start killing people) about going to an appointment on the psychiatrist for my autism with big nice posters on the walls about mental health and autism and then the waiting room itself is a small, crowded, noisy place with a tv constantly on. i want to get the fuck out of here
#ughhhhhhh i fucking hate going to this fucking place#stupid ass psychiatrist to take my stupid ass useless meds#got 5 hours of sleep. im gonna end it all
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I don't feel goooood :(
#I've been really nauseous for like. over a week now#two weeks? what is time#but anyway. that and ive been having some like really deep thoughts about my mom since her surgery#and my dad keeps being a dick and I should be able to do more around the house#to help them out but I'm so fucking tired. and my back hurts. and I'm sad.#and the nausea. as before mentioned.#and I have a therapy appt on Thurs and a psychiatrist appt next week#and I haven't been doing any of the things I should#and I'm really upset about that because they're gonna be disappointed in me#it's all so embarrassing and shameful.#and I'm 23 and unemployed and I didn't finish college#and my rooms really messy but I don't ever have the energy to clean it#which is just making me feel even more useless and grubby and pathetic#and I'm fat and I'm never gonna be able to do anything about it#and my skin hurts all the time in eight different places#and today we went out to do something important but I forgot the papers#and then I was going to the wrong place and I missed like 3 turns in a row#I've been having a really fucking hard time lately#but it feels like I say that all the time. so.#whatever I'm sorry to rant#to show therapist
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So apparently a new revision of the DSM has been published and of course the changes are as stupid as imaginable. A new name for what was called Intellectual Disability, now named Intellectual Developement Disorder (God forbid we call a spade a spade and stop using fucking euphemisms to avoid dealing with "icky" realities). The (re)introduction of Prolonged Grief Disorder (ok) and slight changes to diagnostic criteria in plenty of conditions, mainly substituting symptoms/diagnosis/disorder with problems, just to again keep on using euphemisms because people cannot fucking handle reality.
Interestingly they keep on pushing for inclusive language, muddling the already ridiculous criteria for gender dysphoria and claiming they will also discuss the impact of racism/discrimination in mental distress (and of course the latter is important but allow me to have my doubts they will actually write something that makes sense, especially outside of the USA) and a new guideline for self-harm behaviour (I have the same doubts as before).
✨Things they did not do:✨
exploring the impact of new technologies on mental developement (no changes in the ADHD diagnosis, for real?)
exploring the impact of porn
exploring the impact of social media on distress and social contagion
discuss a new paradigm for trauma-related conditions, including personality disorders (on which my position is slightly different than the one Radbr usually has, but that is not the point)
discuss different forms of treatment for various forms of distress (surely in 10 fucking years there must have been some significant innovation...)
So basically this is a useless fucking thing just to try and justify APA's existence and spending 200 euros on a manual that has little to no substance to provide.
Fucking parasites, that's what they are.
EDIT because of course I do not notice stuff and someone else does:
✨The things they did not do✨ also include:
exploring/discussing the impact of Covid, either for the long-term consequence of the infection itself or the isolation and societal changes in the pandemic period
related to Covid, the awfully big number of people whose grief process never began to begin with: people who are not processing the death of a beloved one, a significant distress that APA would keep in mind if they gave two fucks about human welfare instead of money.
#psychology cowardice#useless ramble#psychology sometimes feels so useless#psychology lady at work#ladyalienist has problems#radblr#radfem thoughts#psychiatrists are parasites
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#so on the one hand im having A Lot of existential thought spiraling issues lately. like. idk if its ever been so bad in my life#in this particular manner or about these particular things. so for the first time in literally years therapy is on my mind.#but on the other hand i have a psychiatrist to help w the actual mechanics of my intrusive thoughts-- IS THIS NOT WHAT THE MEDS ARE FOR?--#&i have so incredibly little interest in general therapy. what the fuck is a psychologist supposed to DO for me.#my existential crises are not unique but the circumstances surrounding them are specific&as per there are only a million reasons why#general therapy isnt only probably useless for me it can be potentially literally unsafe if im totally honest-- you know.#how therapy is supposed to be used to actually see results.#so my solution to this has been to read a bunch of fucking books on dialetical behavioral therapy&cognitive behavioral therapy lmao.#next up: acceptance&commitment therapy.#if i could hack my literal physical health hell will be freezing over before i give up on hacking my mental health too lmao.#**therapist. what the fuck is a therapist gonna do for me.
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#um. I don't really want to make a personal post because it gives me anxiety BUT#my anxiety has already been kicking my ass all day today and. I'm so lost idk what to do#I am literally useless rn. completely ditched my classwork. shut down. stuck in obsessing about it. and useless#and I fought for help all summer. like phone calls All The Time pushing for it. and finally got 1:1 talk appointments.#which. ok. but they keep getting (sneakily) spaced further and further out. and it's clearly Not Enough..#and my initial request for a psychiatrist was totally ignored.#I think they just gave me a therapist to say look you have something now shut up#I am literally in tears and just want to give up#and I have 70 pages of a textbook staring at me like hellooo forgetting something?#I'm gonna be sick idk WHAT to do
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there was no preparing me for how lonely post-grad life would be lmfao
#I’ve finally cut my mom off#I have like four total friends and only one who lives here#I work 6 days a week at a smoothie shop where the owner treats us horribly#but I stay working 50 hour weeks bc I need the money for a car & to keep saving for grad school#I finally bought my own health insurance#but apparently it doesn’t matter bc no psychiatrists will take me#even tho we’ve called over 10#my therapist has all but ditched me#it’s been almost a year since the most devastating relationship loss of my life#and while most days I have made my peace with it#I am still sometimes so full of hurt & confusion & regret & longing & the urge to beg on my knees for things to be fixed#my relationship with food is so fucked#I am looking everywhere for the joy in living and I am not finding it#I know it’s there I know it is#but I cannot feel it I am so lonely I am so out of my depth#my mom got rid of the dogs without telling me#I am so desperate for help that I can’t seem to get in this useless country#I want a hug so badly that I am literally have dreams where someone hugs me#I want my mom to just be good and normal and not awful to me#I want to go home but it feels like an intangible place I can no longer go to#i don’t know if there’s any fixing that#I am trying so so hard to be good#and yet I still lose everything & I can only assume the problem is me#but I just want#to be fixed
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