#used to do updates and stuff but no one gave a shit so I didn't see the point and deleted most of it 😂

[extraliga-related]

y don't you post more

Sometimes life just feels like receiving a cartoonish steel beam to the head, you know? There's always shit to do.

Do you want to see more posts? Help out now by:

making your own so I can reblog them

sending in requests so I won't have to pick & choose

telling me what you'd like to see

interacting with the ones I do make?

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - August

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 29.08.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

gif-requests are currently closed🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in August with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 4 Minutes 🇹🇭 (4/8)

Okay. I catched up. I wasn't in the mood for this series, but now I am a little bit hooked. We have a really cute couple here with a really nice love-making-scene. We have a totally messed up relationship of three people, two love each other, two hurt the other one and two are horny for one with very graphic scenes. And yes, I saw it too. Oh, the story itself? Confusing, yet interesting.

2. Cityboy_Log 4.2 🇰🇷 (17/23)

This week was... okayish. They were mostly bonding at a group and doing stuff together. Nothing really happend. They played games, the trouple was cute and JJ tried to act, but really, those moments were more cringe than anything else...

3. First Note of Love 🇹🇼 (4/12)

The looks they gave each other! The constant bickering! The compliments! The necklace as a gift! I see you! I like them. They get more comfortable together and are now forming a band. Hopefully Sea can help Neil getting back on stage without fainting or having a panic attack. I am curious how this whole series will move on, but I am intrigued. But what is that age gap?

4. Hidamari ga Kikoeru 🇯🇵 (10/12)

🥲 I'm fine... the only thing that helped me in the end was the preview for next week. How could he listen to Maya? How? I know why, but still... why? And now Taichi thinks he was just a replacable someone who doesn't mean anything to Kohei 😭 I really don't like it here! And I hope Maya chokes on her words! I don't care that she's going to cry next episode. Right now I still don't like her. Boys! Get your shit together and talk to each other! Please!

5. I Saw You In My Dream 🇹🇭 (7/12)

THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS SO DAMN CUTE!!!!! I like them! And Yu finally collecting his courage to tell Ai, he likes him. I need Ai to tell him he likes him too! But the preview for next week! I can't wait! The best start in my vacation! Do I feel bad for Wann? No, not really. He saw the signs, he got the vibe between Yu and Ai, but he still tried. I guess he is a good guy, but he is not Yu.

6. Seoul Blues 🇰🇷 (3/8)

Well... Our bad boy got together with their mutual friend. Little Mr. Angsty likes our bad boy, but is to afraid what might change, so he didn't take his change when bad boy confessed to him. And of course he now is unsure about bad boy's feelings. And our lady in denial knows that her bad boy doesn't like he like that and I guess she can feel those two are very much into each other, but she still wanna try it and give it a shot. Well... good luck. And while she is thinking about her bad boy thinking about someone else while kissing her, her bad boy is now kissing little Mr. Angsty. I don't know how this friendship can be fixed. There is so much wrong with their entire realtion-/friendship... and I love it!

7. Takara no Vidro 🇯🇵 (9/11)

I started with mixed feelings about this series and I ended up totally loving it! I enjoy this series very much! They talk with each other and they understand each other. They have such a good relationship at this point and I love how Takara is opening up and questioning his plans for the future. Life is unpredictable, love is unpredictable and there can be people who change your plans for the better or worst, but that is something for other shows.

8. The On1y One 🇹🇼 (4/12)

Best chemistry! I love them! I love pounting Wang and this absolutely smitten boy Tian so much! Tian was everything this episode. He couldn't stop looking at Wang and couldn't stop smiling. He is already in love. And Wang uses Tian for learning, but he is slowly falling. And I hope it will be this: he fell first, but he fell harder! Good series!

9. The Trainee 🇹🇭 (8/12)

This was one of the cutest episodes ever and at the same time one of the saddest with the most wholesome break-up ever. Ba-Mhee did something wrong, she apologised and Tae realised that he is part of the problem. I am cusious how they work around this whole story. But Jane and Ryan. Oh the cuteness! I loved every scene with them. And I loved that Jane was jealous and Ryan reassured him. I am a little bit anxious about next week. Guess this was my favorite episode so far!

10. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)

Those two flirt a lot and are a married couple. Everyone knows that. And I love and enjoy that! Overall this is such a fun watch and the different sects and intrigues are sometimes a little bit confusing, but interesting. I love this world of martial arts and I love how protective Wen Kexing is over Zhou Zishu. I haven't felt like watching this lately. I wasn't in the right mood.

Finished in August

Series

His Man Season 3 🇰🇷

What was that? I enjoyed the first two seasons so much! And this one felt very manipulated by the production. The secret missions were just there to cause drama and misunderstandings. And othe rparts really felt just boring. I was not really invested in the couples this time. I wish we would have seen more of their friendships. Perhaps that was because the fight between JY and MK was so centred. In the end I am happy MS and MK made it and became a couple. And it is nice that SM and JS got together too. But who thought it was a good idea to keep that "break-up" between YJ and HM in the show? That was just awful to watch! I never saw them vibing together, but a short notice that they decided to stay friends would have been enough. I don't have to see that Hanmin gave the ring back, they made together. I get where he is coming from, but I wish they could have talked about this in private! There were some bad coices of the production which was not favourable for the show! If there is a season 4 I hope it stays away from artificial drama! Just a 7 out of 10 for me.

Century of Love 🇹🇭

We got a happy ending. Hm. Great. I don't know. I guess I wouldn't have mind if San had died. It was a little bit too constructed with the little piece of that stone in the end and the change of heart from the fake Vad... So I am a little bit dissappointed with the ending. Yes, I cried, because I have feelings, but at some points I had to skip parts because there were just too many emotions that clashed in my face. But I am happy for San and Vee. Overall a good 8 out of 10.

Bad Guy 🇰🇷

Honestly? I like cheating stories when my couple wins. In conclusion, I liked this short series. I am curious if we get a second part like with Blue Boys. I would be happy if we could just end it here. The two sad boys finally got their happy ending and can now be enough for each other. I like that. Wish we could see a little bit of their everyday life or how this decision impacts their lifes. I liked it. I give it a 8 out of 10.

Cosmic Playlover 🇯🇵

I enjoyed the show. It felt a little bit rushed, but over all, I enjoyed the plot and the love story. Two men working in the beauty industry and both go their own way and just loving what they do. That was also really good to see! I especially enjoyed the dynamic between these two. And they talked! Sure there was drama, but in the end they talkes to each other and listened to each other and could solve their problems. Such a nice little show. I give it good 8,5 out of 10.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in August

My Love Mix-Up! 🇹🇭

I guess I've dropped this one. I don't know why exactly. I think it was a cute story and I liked watching it, but right now I don't have the energy to keep going. I will come back to this one when it is finished and when I am in the mood for some fluff.

Looking forward to in August

The Last Time - Trailer (Aug 16th)

The Loyal Pin - Trailer (Aug 4th)

Sugar Dog Life - Trailer (Aug 4th)

Summer Night - Trailer (Aug 5th)

Cosmetic Playlover (Aug 6th)

Monster Next Door - Trailer (Aug 8th)

First Note Of Love - Trailer (Aug 12th)

Addicted Heroin - Trailer (Aug 13th)

Love Beneathe The Stars - Trailer (Aug 16th)

The Paradise Of Thornes - Trailer (Aug 22nd - Thai Cinemas)

The On1y One (Aug 22nd)

Affair - Trailer (Aug 30th)

[anundyingfidelity]

YES, MA’AM — Sam Winchester/Sam Wesson ft. Dean Winchester/Dean Smith (Chapter I)

Summary: Sam is the new tech support guy at Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc., and he thinks you, his supervisor, are related to him in ways more than professional. He not only dreams of ghosts and Dean Smith, the sales and marketing director, but you, the pretty boss who seems very fond of him, maybe a little too much.

Word count: 1.3k.

Pairing: Sam W./Sam Wesson x female reader (main), Dean W./Dean Smith x female reader. Situated in 4x17 - It's a Terrible Life.

Warnings for this series: smut with plot, sexual tension, sub!Sam, dom!reader, switch!Dean, co-workers with benefits with Dean, boss/employee dynamics, canon violence and stuff. Slow updates oops.

Notes: welcome to my very first spn fanfic, hope you enjoy this short series of Sam and Dean!

If you'd like to be added, the taglist is here!

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

Chapter I | Chapter II

Chapter I: A Boring Life

Taking a quick look at the clock on the corner of the screen of his computer, Sam let out a long sigh. Lunch hour was far from near. He continued drawing the monsters he saw in his dreams on the notebook, those who wouldn't let him continue his abnormally boring and stupid life.

"Hey, Sam," a voice called, making him jump slightly on his seat.

He cleared his throat shutting the notebook and sitting right this time as he took in your figure towering over him in the cubicle with a smile on your lips.

"Hi, uhm... Is something wrong?"

You chuckled slightly. He wanted to slap himself for saying that. For Sam, bosses coming to him meant he might have done something wrong. He didn't want to know what he screwed up. Barely three weeks have passed since he started working there. As much as things were strange and weird around, Sam just wanted a quiet life.

"Not at all," you answered in a friendly manner. "Actually I just wanted to give you kudos. I've received good compliments from customers who called for help, you're doing excellent!"

Sam breathed out, feeling a heavy weight on his back dropping. He smiled. "Well, thank you. It feels good doing that."

But a raise or something would feel absolutely better, he thought.

"Sure! You're brilliant, have you ever been told that?"

"Uhm, not here. I mean- I want to say you're the first one. Sorry, the first one to say I'm brilliant, I- uhm I never really got kudos before? I don't think so but it does feel great."

He stumbled so much with his words that it made you laugh a little but he noticed you tried to suppress it. So you gave him a nod.

"Yeah, of course. I also see you're very organized with your stuff and reports," you remarked before taking a quick glance around and leaning a little bit toward him, your face morphing into a shy look. "Probably I shouldn't but could you help me with some reports today? You'd be off the phone, I just really need to send them by the end of the day and I'm extremely busy."

You bit your painted lower lip with big doe eyes, waiting for an answer. Since the first day he saw you around the company, he thought you looked extremely familiar. Like he had seen you before. Hell, it was like he knew you ages ago. But he wouldn't say it out loud, he might look like a creep.

You'd usually come like this to his spot just to talk and get into business, sometimes he'd go to ask you something he wasn't sure about from a call, but he never, ever herd from a complaint or that his work was shit from you. In fact, you were very kind and smart, always letting him know you were there if he needed anything. And you were pretty. So damn beautiful that you got his heart agitated and his body aching when you bent over a desk wearing tight black pencil skirts and those matching high stockings. He began to think probably you liked him but you used to get close to all of your employees on the tech support floor. You were just being nice to everyone.

"Uh, sure. I can do that," Sam curved his lips into a smile.

"Thank you, you're a lifesaver! I'll send you those in your email, ask me anything if it's difficult, okay?"

You responded with happy demeanour and quickly walked away back to your office, leaving him alone before he had the moment to say something. Just two minutes later he received an email from you with a bunch of reports and data to organize.

Sam scanned the files quickly while hearing the sounds of a chair rolling to his side.

"I think she likes you, man," Ian, the messy and chill coworker of his, teased. Sam chuckled.

"Nah, she's just nice to everyone. Besides, she needs help."

Suddenly, a notification popped from the side of his screen on the computer.

It was a message from you. It read:

Put on the headphones and listen to some music if you want ;)

"You were saying?" Ian joked again.

He smiled. Well, at least he'd be off the phone. Shouldn't be that hard, right?

The night fell and Sam found himself alone on his desk at eight o'clock working on your reports. Seeing the long reports and files he thought could make it on time to finish his shift at four and leave on time. It was fucking Friday. Poor him.

At least you ordered delivery for dinner for both of you. The good thing was that he wasn't really alone on the floor, you were in your office but soft music played as you worked on your stuff. Moments later, you found yourself sitting by Sam's side as he worked the final things on the last report.

"It's done," he announced, his body falling to the backrest of his chair.

"Thanks," you whispered shyly as he sent the finished files back to you. "I'm so sorry though, it's so late."

"Well, didn't have anything to do either."

"Really?!"

Your surprise made his eyes fall on you. He shrugged. "Just sleep."

You raised your eyebrows. "I thought maybe a girlfriend was waiting for you or something?"

He shook his head, pressing his lips together. "No, nothing like that."

The question was odd coming from you, so he decided to play a little.

"What about you?"

This time you shook your head. "Just my books and my TV."

Sam hummed. "It's a boring life, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well I get to pay my bills by the end of the month... And I meet nice people here... And I see you- Sorry."

You cut off your words all of a sudden, your eyes blinking rapidly saying you realized what you just said.

"My bad. We should get going."

You gave him a smile to try and brush off your words, but they were strong enough to get in Sam's head unnoticed. He watched you walk away, turning your computer and lights off on your office as Sam did the same on his spot. Once done, you walked out the floor together in silence.

"Thank you again. I don't think no one would ever do this for me here," you admitted with a deep exhale.

"Yeah, no problem," Sam smiled kindly as you got closer to the elevator.

"Really, I owe you. Do you have a car to get home or something? I can give you a ride if you need."

"I do, don't worry," he said as you stopped in front of the elevator, the doors opening.

"Great, so I think this is it," you grinned at him. "Have a good night."

"Thanks. I hope you have a good weekend, boss."

You nodded. "You too, Sam. Take care."

He saw you disappearing inside the elevator with a wave of your hand and a beautiful smile on your face. With a sigh, he made his way to the locker room and took his briefcase and stuff out. It was just a couple of minutes that he saw you leaving when he went back to the elevator. Checking his watch, the lift arrived and before he could get inside, he got a shocking picture in front of him.

Dean Smith, the marketing director, had you pinned against the wall and kissing down your neck. Your blouse unbuttoned, skirt up, lips open and eyes closed in bliss. Dean noticed the doors were open, pulling away his plump lips from your skin.

"Sorry buddy, wrong floor," he beamed and pushed the right button.

When you opened your eyes once again, you met Sam's open mouth and wide eyes as the doors closed. Great, now he might think you're a slut. 

[niningtori]

let me into your world | chapter two: you've been on my mind

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, choi soobin x you

summary: it's been 4 years since your last encounter with beomgyu, and you're happily engaged to soobin. you're ready to get married to the love of your life, but are soulmate ties really so easy to break?

genre(s): romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?), soulmate au

word count: 2.8k

notes: SURPRISE! i know this is a really quick update, but i'm so geeked by txt tour dates i wanted to get something out to celebrate lmao. i hope you all like where this story is going. truly, i do. also, there's some suggestive stuff in this chapter and the next. nothing explicit, but i want to warn everybody. see ending for more notes!

4 years later

you're nervous. your company is joining up with your sister branch and you're torn between excitement and trepidation. your company is really pushing the "unity" narrative and you can't help but grimace at the happy horseshit they're spewing about how the merge won't affect the team dynamic, because it almost certainly will, and you dread having to walk on eggshells with new coworkers.

your friend and coworker, danbi, is currently greeting your new coworkers with alarming generosity. it's not that she isn't friendly, because she is, but she's enthusiastic in a way you did not expect.

"why are you so chipper today?" you ask, genuinely curious.

"you haven't heard? one of our new recruits is supposedly criminally sexy. i'd hate to leave a bad impression on anybody and have him not like me," she explains and it all makes sense to you now.

"so you're only acting nice to potentially get some dick?" you ask.

"pretty much, yeah." you both laugh and you shake your head.

"i just don't get you," you joke.

"of course you don't," she quips, rolling her eyes. "not everybody is head over heels in love with their super hot fiancé." you blush at this. it's been 4 years with soobin, but you're still very much in love.

"shut up," you say, face tinged red.

"wait! oh god, that must be him," danbi whispers and you shake your head while opting to steal a glance behind you to catch a look at her next victim. what you see makes your sarcastic comment catch in your throat.

you knew soulmate ties weren't easy to break, but you never imagined you'd see him here. you had gotten incredibly comfortable with the thought of never seeing him again, actually. but there he stands, as tall and good-looking as ever. his hair is shorter than it used to be, though, revealing the pretty pink seal you've tried your hardest to forget, but never fully can. there's a moment before he sees you too, and you relish in it before his eyes make his way to you. when they do, it's like you're completely frozen. you should avert your gaze, but it's almost as if you have to look at him. when he sees you, his eyes widen in surprise, not unlike the first time he saw you. however, his second response is unreadable, completely differing from the demeaning look he once gave you all those years ago.

"is that a seal behind his ear? damn it," danbi curses, whisking you away from your entrancement and back into cold, hard reality. you stare is effectively torn away from him and back to your friend.

"i guess so," you manage to squeak out.

"shit, he's coming! hold on, do i look pretty? is my makeup smudged?" she says, primping her hair and clearing her throat.

"you look fine." she doesn't seem to notice how fucking uncomfortable you are as beomgyu makes his way over to you both.

"hi," he says, baritone resonating somewhere deep in your bones.

"i'm danbi!"

"i'm beomgyu," he answers perfunctorily, eyes never leaving you. you look away before introducing yourself as if he didn't have proof of your existence on his skin. he shakes your hand. the pure electricity you feel reverberates from the tips of your fingers straight to your heart. you carefully tuck the feeling in your back pocket — you will deal with it later. danbi clears her throat and snaps both of you back to reality.

"do you two know each other?" she asks suspiciously.

"you could say that,” he chuckles. “you could even say we're —"

"we were classmates in our senior year of college!" you interject, not wanting a single soul to know about your entanglement. beomgyu doesn't shoot down your little charade though, he just softly smiles as if watching a show and you hate him for it.

"classmates... oh that makes sense. wait, didn't you meet soobin that same year?"

"soobin?" beomgyu asks.

"her fiancé!" she says. almost robotically, you raise your left hand and show him your ring. you don't know why you do this. maybe to prove that you're doing just fine without him? you don't know, really. you don't want to know.

beomgyu doesn't seem surprised in the slightest. his eyes linger on your ring for a moment too long, but that could just be in your head. what you don't know is that he knew soobin had proposed the exact moment you did. if he didn't figure it out from the peace you felt and just how in love with soobin you really are, he would've found out from your instagram, anyway. as it stands, he feels the love you have for soobin every day and it's enough to make him want to swallow himself whole.

"you're engaged now? congratulations."

"what about you, beomgyu? are you seeing anyone?" danbi asks shamelessly. you don't intend for your ears to perk up at this, but they most certainly do.

"me? no, nothing like that," he says.

"that sounds about right," you mumble bitterly.

"what was that?" danbi asks. you want to astral project and wring your own neck right about now, but instead you settle for:

"oh, it's nothing. beomgyu just isn't the settling type," you shrug, feigning innocence.

"i'd settle for the right person," he says pointedly. you almost want to laugh at that, but you won't deny that deep down, it still kind of hurts. he had effectively stomped on your heart — on your sincerity — and the flippancy with which he says he would be with the right person cuts deep. you almost wonder if he means to hurt you even more than he already has, but that would imply he cares enough to hurt you in the first place. you won't delude yourself into thinking you could hold space in his heart. not anymore, anyway.

"there's someone for everyone," you say plainly, hoping to end the conversation there.

"yeah, no kidding," she says, wiggling her fingers as her cobalt blue seal sits perfectly on the back of her hand. "know anybody with this seal?" she asks beomgyu.

"i do not," he says with a polite smile.

"oh well, having a soulmate doesn't mean you have to be with them," she hints.

"i don't know, i think having a seal is pretty definite," he shrugs, and you wonder how and why the conversation has turned so serious. you feel like he's just bullshitting her so she'll stop hitting on him, but the callousness with which he speaks about fate when he did what he did still stings. it's like a scab that won't fully heal, and he's picking away at it with each and every word. you want to knock on his head and see exactly what the fuck is going on in there, but instead, you sit in silence.

"oh no, it's time for our meeting! it was nice talking to you, beomgyu! i hope we can talk more in the future," danbi says.

"same to you," he answers noncommittally.

-

the meeting is awkward, to say the least. you can't get beomgyu's words out of your head to the point where you don't even feel his gaze searing into you. if it's not awkward enough as it is — and it is — your boss, sooyoung, has the bright idea to pair people from the opposing branches together to build company morale and break the ice.

you already know who will be your partner, because of course he will be, but that doesn't mean that you're still hoping beyond hope that you're wrong. you are not. when sooyoung calls your name and beomgyu's shortly thereafter, you want to drop to your knees and yell at the universe to stop tormenting you, but you do nothing of the sort and give a terse smile instead. beomgyu's expression is, again, unreadable. you have to wonder how much he hates the idea of being paired up with you, but you try not to dwell on it.

-

beomgyu is, of course, not disappointed. he's the farthest thing from disappointed, to be clear. his heart almost jumps out of his chest when he hears that you'll be paired together, but he keeps a lid on his emotions. he kind of knew that you'd be his partner, but he's still ecstatic. if fate wants to bind you together, he won't do a thing to stop it. not anymore. as you're walking around the building and showing beomgyu around, you try to keep conversation simple and clean, but he seems hellbent on making you uncomfortable when he asks you how you've been.

"good, i guess," you reply. he wants you to ask how he's been doing so he can tell you just how bad it's been for him. he wants to tell you how much he regrets throwing away your heart when you held it out for him all those years ago and how he didn't know that he'd end up feeling every bit of happiness you have. he's aching to tell you how much he aches, how much he yearns. the words are on the tip of his tongue, but you don't ask. you just show him where the fucking copy room is.

-

you come home from work looking more haggard than you have in a long, long time.

"hey, baby," soobin croons as you slip your shoes off and sigh.

"hi," you say. he can sense your tension immediately.

"what's wrong, my love?"

"you'll never believe who my new coworker is," you say, cutting straight to the point.

"beomgyu?"

"what the hell?" you giggle in disbelief. "how'd you know?"

"easy, there's only one person who could tire you out like this," he says with a shrug.

"not true. you tire me out like this too," you say suggestively, kissing his neck, earning a blush from the boy. "i'm sorry, i know us working together must make you uncomfortable."

"hey, what did we say about you apologizing for things that aren't your fault?"

"i know, i just hate that he's back in my life."

"i'm okay with it. it's just work, after all. as long as you don't leave me for him," he jokes, but there's a slight edge to his voice only you would notice.

"never. i love you and only you," you say, grabbing his big hand and placing it in yours.

"i believe you."

"well, that was easy," you smile. "i mean every word." you place your head on his shoulder and you want to stay like this forever. just you and him in your own little world, no one else. 

-

interactions with beomgyu stay cordial and distant, though not for lack of trying on his part. he asks what you've been up to, if you've heard of certain bands and songs, if you miss your college days at all, and by extension, if you miss him too. he already knows that you don't, if the contentment you've felt for the past 4 years is any indication of your state of mind, but that doesn't change the fact that he wants to ask.

you want to know what game he's playing at. he had told you in no uncertain terms that he did not want anything to do with you, but it feels like he's just fucking with you at this point. his kindness feels a lot deeper than mere coworker cordiality, but you can't pinpoint any one comment as inappropriate, so you can't very well blow up on him and ask what his problem is. that doesn't change the fact that you want to, though. you want to ask why he's so damn calm and why you can't get a read on his intentions. you almost wonder if he's just trying to be friends again, but that seems extremely cruel of him after what he did to you. you don't want to believe that he'd jump through the hoops he's jumping through just to rekindle a friendship that was doomed from the start, but what else could it possibly be? honestly? it doesn't even matter to you, or it shouldn't, anyway. he made his choice all those years ago, and you'll let him live with it forever.

-

beomgyu doesn’t want to live with it. he thinks he’s lived with it for long enough, actually. when you brush off his advances, parts of his heart he didn’t even know still existed die. it’s throbbing so hard at this moment, as he listens to you talk to soobin on the phone while you’re stuck in the same elevator, that it actually feels numb. he doesn’t quite catch what soobin says to you, but he does catch your laugh that he’s missed so damn much in response to it.

“mmm,” you hum. “i love you, too. i’ll see you soon, okay? mhmm, bye.” 

he wishes your dopey smile would drop after the call, but it doesn’t. he thinks you’re actually fucking humming under your breath, – that’s how happy you are. he feels familiar pains in his chest and watches your expression for a semblance of a reaction, but you remain perfectly unfazed. you barely even seem to notice that he’s in the same elevator as him, actually. he clears his throat and waits for you to glance his way, but you never do. you just keep humming a tune he wish he knew. 

-

it starts off negligibly. first, you watch soobin as he sometimes sits dazedly, even during conversation. your attempts to pull him back to you are futile, but you give it a good, honest try anyway. second, he's working overtime, needlessly so. it's like he's trying to work himself to death. when asked, he shrugs it off and says he's busy. third, and most notably, he's colder than he's ever been, resisting your advances on him. his kisses are fleeting and you feel his hesitation when you suggest doing something more, so you don't push. things stay in this odd sense of limbo for a week or so before you finally can't take it anymore.

"what's wrong, baby?" you ask one night on the loveseat you share, unable to take how indifferent he's been lately.

"nothing, babe. i'm just tired these days," smiling weakly. you can understand that, you think. seeing beomgyu every day has worn you out. you're ready to accept his explanation as his fingers lace with yours and you can feel yourself calming down before the anxiety comes back full force — he isn't gently rubbing his thumb across yours the way he usually does.

you can feel him slipping away and you don't know why, but you have a guess you don't dare to vocalize.

"do you not love me anymore?" you try.

"what? no," he dismisses.

"why are you doing this then? it feels like you're pushing me away and you won't tell me why. how can we fix it if you won't communicate with me?" and your voice is even weaker than you thought it would be.

"i'm not trying to do anything!" he snaps and you wince. he immediately looks sorrier than you've ever seen him.

"listen, i love you, i really do. i-i just... i'm not in love with you anymore." the silence is excruciating — almost as excruciating as the pain in your heart. your fingers unlace with his and you immediately regret it. your next question is quiet, so quiet it's almost inaudible, but he hears it all the same.

"you met her, didn't you? your soulmate, i mean." he takes a sharp breath and hangs his head in shame.

"i did. i'm sorry — i thought i could hold onto you, but i just can't anymore. i'm in love with everything about her. just thinking about not having her in my life makes me sick." you feel like you just got punched in the stomach.

"what about me? what about us?" you gesture to nothing in particular, but it encapsulates everything from your ring, to your apartment, to the house you're planning to build together. to the life he promised you and you to him. 

"i'm so sorry. i love you. you know i love you. i used to wish my soulmate was you, but i finally understand it can't be anybody else. when i look at you, all i can see is her." your body freezes as if you're a deer in headlights. you're so tense you feel like if you move you'll snap in two. eventually, you're able to squeeze out a simple nod.

"you know, even after everything you just said to me," you pause, "i still wish it was you. i just hoped you'd love me enough to feel the same."

"i know," he says, voice choking on tears. "i know."

his leaving comes naturally. no dramatics, no fighting. you come home from work the next day and it's like he's never even been there. the bed you shared feels empty. at night, you find yourself reaching for him and your arms fall flat against the cold sheets where he used to be.

notes pt. 2: sorry ;-; i know it's kind of sudden but i've been racking my brain trying to think of how else to put it and it's making my head hurt. if u don't like it i'm sorry 😭 editing this to say there will be another part :* maybe even 2 more parts actually

[ask-funnybunnydoll]

Hi!

I think I have to move on.

You may have noticed that all of a sudden my posts have become less and less frequent. That's not on purpose I simply don't have the motivation to keep this ask blog going. I made this blog at the peak of my TADC hyperfixation because I knew it would give me the boost to work. At the start I made like, what? 2 a day, wowzas! Then it became like every other day posts. It's not that I don't enjoy the blog, the ship, the asks. Hell, the asks were the best part of this, I love just seeing what you guys come up with for these three and I get to do the even more fun part of drawing the answer.

But I still have no motivation to keep this going. And I have fixated on something else if you follow my main.

So, thank you for being here and still liking my posts even if I hadn't posted often. This was the most fun I've had and being my first ask blog I ever created just makes it more important to me.

I probably won't ever revive this blog but I'll keep it open for you. And if you want to see what the story I originally planned out was gonna be then check below the cut! Or if you wanna stay curious and theorize then just scroll by. Thank you again, hope ya have a great day and year. I hope my shit was at least okay to you.

I'm not gonna lie. Most of the stuff was just created along the way of drawing. I was like, huh this would be cool let's add that in. And ofc I didn't get to any juicy lore in this but it would've been rushed because I didn't plan beforehand... which you probably could tell xd

For Pomni, here's the plot twist: she's dead and her conscience was updated into the game to keep her somewhat alive. She worked in the place that created the game, she even took part in putting people in there. The entire game was just an expirement to test if immortality was possible, but of course.. everyone goes insane in there so they have to keep on and keep on trying with more and more people to get anywhere. They wait until someone goes to edge of absolute insanity and that's when they take them out of the game, their bodies are still kept alive and they go back to normal. They forget everything that happened while in the game. For Pomni she died just after her conscience was converted to the game, for others they were forced to go while alive. Who killed Pomni? Well, her boss, the head of the experimentation. Why? Idk 😭

For Jax, I gave him a dark story. He was isolated in his home and kept away from the outside world, which is why he lacks empathy, because he simply doesn't know how to feel that way when he never really had knowledge of emotions outside or even inside his home. His father was emotionally and physically ab4sive so.. that didn't help. He latched onto his mother the most but they never saw eachother often. That's all I had for him in mind.

For Ragatha, she lived in the country on her own land with her husband. Yup! She had a husband and a daughter too. Husband was a total jerk and she couldn't leave because she didn't want their kid to experience separated parents. She's a doll in the game because it resembles the doll she made for her daughter.

I also had some plot that I made up in my mind. Like.... Pomni at the end would be the last one alone in the digital circus. That being since she's dead she would just be yknow. Dead if she left the game. Jax and Ragatha leave but only because Pomni forces them. Again don't know how, I probably would have made it up while I went along with the story. So, Pomni is just there alone, with Caine. And she lives like that for eternity. She doesn't go insane anymore and it isn't as lonely as it used to feel like. It would feel like home kind of. But she would be there, longing for her partners forever unless she decides one day to just. Yknow, die..

Also since Jax and Ragatha would forget everything after they leave the game, they just don't remember they were in a relationship and would live their lives like before. Sad and lonely.

Goodness, I forget I make the most sad stories ever sometimes 😭

[incorrectelswordquotes]

Do you remember when the job progression quests had dialogue cutscenes and difficult quests? Each town had its own gear and you'd have to drop blue-background items to upgrade it. And it was character-specific too. Ice statues had to be crafted, and the ingredients would just pile up in your inventory. There was Unique equipment for every region you had a chance to drop after a boss battle, and it'd be shown in the chat. Plant Overlord's accessory was the top trending thing. Rena was blonde and did a flip when she double jumped. The first field introduced was the one between Hamel and Velder. The level cap was 40 and it was *hard* to get there.

I sure don't miss a lot of this stuff, but looking back, it feels like a wholly different game.

i played around when the game was still like this for the most part, except the level cap at the time was 70? and then over time it jumped to 90 but my middle-school/high-school ass couldn't keep up. actually, i remember seeing the new UI the game has for the health bars and that was already enough to throw me off. not that it looks bad, but i remember seeing this UI for the longest time:

vs this:

like as much as i miss the one i got acquainted with, this new one is a lot simpler and cleaner? yet it retains that cartoony vibe with the slanted bars so thats neat. and then there's THIS:

i'll admit i havent played during this era but man this looks busy af. it was simple yea, but something feels off about it. like i love the look here too but it kinda clashes colors-wise. there's not too much of a difference between the original UI and the one after it but i could tell it needed slimming down.

while i was gone i also learned that the previous privately-hosted server VoidEls was shut down but was eventually replaced by another, which is fair enough i guess.

"Each town had its own gear and you'd have to drop blue-background items to upgrade it. And it was character-specific too."

this was both cool and annoying, for me personally at least. it's cool in that every town having gear gave you a way to progress before getting even stronger gear. sort of like a jumping-off point for every town you got to as they handed you their own version of stuff you could use. and you could emulate their aesthetic by wearing their gear. the annoying part is that constantly switching gear means item management is necessary to prevent your inventory from maxing out, and not every item looked good on you. if you didn't have skins? tough luck. (my memory might be wrong here so please correct me if i messed something up)

"...job progression quests had dialogue cutscenes and difficult quests?"

THEY GOT RID OF THOSE!? maybe im jaded but as a writer, i liked seeing the player-characters' personal struggle as they progressed through a job-specific mission. those short cutscenes let us see what they're really like. even if some of the requirements really were trash. i still remember spamming the same dungeon over and over hoping for a quest drop (or multiple) so i can move on. but after hearing the story was consolidated to be one singular, linear path regardless of who you played, maybe they streamlined the job class progression system too?

update: yea it seems you still have to spam dungeons to upgrade to Master Class but it looks less tedious than before for previous class ranks.

"Plant Overlord's accessory was the top trending thing."

boss accessories were the bane of my existence so this makes sense. it seems like it's unobtainable, as many overworld zones and dungeons have since been removed based on what i just looked up

im assuming Plant Overlord isn't fightable anymore or only shows up in some elite zone now so rip

"Rena was blonde and did a flip when she double jumped."

i didn't know this. in fact when i checked her wiki page, the change was because her hair wasn't green enough despite her class art showing her as having green-hued hair.

speaking of the wiki,

holy fucking shit thats a lot of classes

[k-s-morgan]

Recently checked back up on ATLWETD to see if it had updated and followed the tumblr thread here. Imagine my surprise seeing all of the wonderful snippets and asks you answered. Tom using the mood stone? I almost forgot that was a thing. And finding out that Tom was just being a possesive/calculating bastard when he took Harrys food is embarassing to me since my guess was so far off. I thought that Tom inferred that Harry suspected him of poisoning/ truth seruming his food when he told Tom "Happy Poisoning".

Anyways, I decided it was finally my time to step up and praise you like the glorious writer you are. How on earth you could ever believe that your works arent as creative or as plot heavy as other tomarry works is beyond me. To me, your fics have lovely foreshadowing that makes me pay very close attention to anything that is mentioned offhandedly by a character because in your works everything means something. (Like seriously, one detail I missed in WHGTB on the first read was Harry reading the description of the book Tom was going to use to bond him and you stuffing permanent bonding inbetween fertility and necromancy. You had Harry misdirect us by having him muse about necromancy so we wouldn't notice. And you're right, I didn't)

And the humanity and characterization that you give to any character you write? Hell, i'd say you give them more layers than the origional authors. I always know that you won't make the characters make stupid and out of character actions just to advance the plot.

My experience with your writing started with WHGTB (my first convincing tomarry fic btw, you were the one who snagged me). After that, I trailed after your content like a lost puppy. I consumed your hannigram fics without having a spec of knowledge other than "haha cannibal eats the rude". I have now watched the telltale John Doe/Bruce Wayne playthroughs on youtube and rewatched the lego batman movie for the first time since i saw it in theaters when it came out. A Rule for a Rule is shaping up to be the best thing that happened to batjokes (outside of Half Way Across). I've even tenatively read through your Black Butler work, which I was hesitant to look at given the age gap and having never watched the anime. Should have never doubted that your approach to their relationship would make sense. You make an anime which could be categorized as ridiculous (I apologize, I have no nostalgic memories of this anime holding me back. I read your fic first, the anime can't compare) into something psychological and beautiful. Just so so real.

Anywho, there's my small (because I could genuinely write an analytical essay on your works and enjoy it) love letter to your writing.

Stay safe angel, it's unfortunate that I can't do anything to help you or your country. Even more disgusting that my country could help if they gave half a shit but won't. I would say I'm praying for you, but given that I'm not religious that goes nowhere. So, pathetically, my 11:11 wishes will be used for your continuted health.

Hope your writing continues to bring you joy <3

Hi! Thank you so much for such a lengthy, wonderful ask - I have a few more unanswered ones in my ask box, and I'm so delighted that my stories evoke so many thoughts and feelings in my readers!

Funnily, quite a few people thought that Tom sharing Harry's food and drinking from his cup is related to Harry's 'happy poisoning'! This never occured to me. I admit I love when such stuff happens because it proves how a text is its own thing, a living organism, something that the author and every reader can have vastly different interpretations of. In this case, yes, I intended for Tom to keep testing the intimate boundaries and to see how much Harry would allow, to gauge what exact type of relationship they used to share. Slowly turning him into a possessive, obsessed monster in love is such a delight.

I'm so gratified that you enjoy the foreshadowing I'm trying to build! I do love it, and I can tell that in ATLWETD, the seeds of the largest plot twists and the ending have already been planted. It's difficult to recognize them without knowing the rest, but if someone re-reads the whole story after it's done, these little hints should become obvious.

Also, it's so flattering that WHGTB became the first Tomarry story you really liked! Really, it's an honor, considering how big this part of fandom is and how many brilliant stories fill it. And knowing that you followed my fics across the fandoms despite not being a part of them - wow! I'm speechless! You honestly made me blush, I'm so happy to hear all this.

I appreciate every word you wrote - this means so much to me, I re-read your ask a couple of times because of how happy it made me. I hope you continue to enjoy my stories and discovering new great fandoms :D Thank you!

[ravings-of-a-mad-scientist]

I think there is something of a story that could be made out of tech no longer being supported by the tech is life supporting

You know what? YES! There is a story to be made out of tech no longer being supported even though it's life supporting! My fuckin emails!

I used to use Windows' default mail app, which sucked. It couldn't work with custom email addresses and was generally janky, but you know what? It was my janky default mail app, because I was too lazy to change it to a better one. Just like with every other default app included with Windows 10 (which I still use even though they came out with a Windows 11 (even though they said they'd never do that (fuckin tryhards)))

But then Windows was all like

"mail app will no longer be supported, please switch to Outlook, bleh".

And that's when my alarm bells started ringing. I knew shit was going down hill. First they took Flash, and now they're after my fuckin MAIL?!? Is nothing sacred???

And what's worse, they had the gall to make *me* do something, and accept change, when I'd much rather be embracing stagnancy. What? Are we too good for the bare minimum all of a sudden?

But, I also knew the deadline was like six months away, so I didn't do shit and forgot about it. Because I have a heavy prescription for A.D.D., a mental disorder which makes it difficult to not put things off until the last minute since I can't think in scales longer than about six days. I am heavily dependant on my calendar app to tell me when to do stuff.

But then it happened. Six entire months had passed, and I finally had to change to Outlook. That made my afternoon a SLIGHTLY more stressful and busy than it'd have normally been, the bastards

But, you know what? There's no point getting angry over that. I think I might have just been too complacent with my old shitty default mail app all that time, and was too lazy and had too many dysfunctioning executives to look for better options. I might never have known what other mail apps could be like until someone gave me that little push. There really is a lesson to be learned here. 😔

And you know what that lesson is?

DON'T EVER FUKIN TRUST WINDOWS! BECAUSE OUTLOOK IS WAY SHITTER AND JANKIER THAN MAIL APP! WHY DID THEY MAKE ME SWITCH TO IT???

It takes forever to open, it also fucked the calendar app because apparently those can't be separate windows anymore so I had to spend like 20 minutes fixing it, then it fucked my wife, and just today it refused to open at all because it FALSELY believed it was already open.

I ended up having to restart my entire ass computer, WITH A FORCED WINDOWS UPDATE, giving me plenty of time to write this post. Haven't slept in 42 hours btw (unrelated). Then Outlook decided to log me out, so I had to find my password to sign back in. Meanwhile, I couldn't do any work because the only thing I needed to do was see my goddamned emails! So I finally get in, and I discovered that apparently that Windows update was updating Outlook, because I had to tell them that NO, I DON'T WANT MY DATA HARVESTED.

All this and for what? Fashionable looking UI design? Compatibility with email handles that don't end with @gmail.com?

What do I look like, some kinda jackass who owns multiple alternate email addresses with custom domains? Custom domains that I've been using an entirely separate web based email service to check since the old mail app wouldn't let me open them, but I was just too lazy to switch over to completely for my primary work and school gmails? Do I look like someone who bought themadscientist@ravingsofamadscientist.com thinking that somehow a *mailing list* would make me INTERNET FAMOUS?

Because yes, I am and I did do that. But you know what? I STILL do all that because I haven't gotten around to putting those emails into Outlook!

YOUR FORCED EMAIL SERVICE MIGRATION ACHIEVED NOTHING! SUCK IT BILL GATES!

[dogbound1128]

Punch Out!! Headcannons Masterpost!

This will be updated every time I come up with a new one!

Make sure to read the trigger warnings in the tags before continuing!

Little Mac 🟢🇺🇲

☆ Transmasc!

- All he had to do was knock off the "Kenzie" and he was good to go lol

- He is also pan

☆ He's actually the standard amount of talkative! He just goes quiet when he's annoyed.

- Which is why most of the boxers have never heard him speak lol

☆ His main social media account has like a pink anime pfp and says stuff like "( >w<)"

- He tries to let as LITTLE people as possible know this

- He keeps on accidentally replying to wvba posts with his main account then quickly deleting them

- One time, after deleting a reply on his main, he thought "Hey, if I reply with my official Boxing account and say "I DIDN'T MEAN TO REPLY ON MY MAIN", people might think that I was joking, and meme the heck out of it! That would be fun!!" Nobody thought he was joking.

- Is the Antonymph of the Internet (✿ UwU )

- Still fighting on Newgrounds over if his love is valid • m •

- Fuck the cynicism let the colors fly >X3

- Don't care you think it's cringe because it's not your life B)

☆ Gave the most DEVASTATING side-eyes as a baby

- He didn't even do them when he was dissapointed, his face just looked like that when he looked to the side

- One time Doc was showing off some jab techniques when babysitting, and asked "How was that?" and Mac just hit him with the (¬_¬ )

- Doc knew he didn't mean anything by it, but it still hurt

- It made him laugh though

☆ Backstory (warning this shit is just upsetting)

- His Dad is abusive

- He just spends all his days watching TV and taking his anger out on Mac when he feels like it

- This was one of the main reasons Mac got into boxing

- When Mac asked how old his Mom was, his Dad said she was exactly as old as him. Mac did the math and realized that the chances of an accidental child born completely healthy at 50 are highly unlikely. Every time Mac asks his Dad about it, he shuts him down, so Mac has his suspicions about how he's actually related to his "Dad".

- At some point in his early childhood, he got a best friend.

- They were inseparable. Even to the point where they'd share a cot at daycare

- He was the loud, and all-over-the-place one, Mac was more timid.

- This best friend LOVED birds. He also loved surfing, but he had, as his mom said, "noodle bones", so that wasn't really in the foreseeable future.

- He had a nickname that only Mac knows.

- One day he just stopped showing up, even for school. And Mac's Dad didn't care enough to call their family. Mac knew for a fact his friend would've never just left him like that, so he just spends his days not knowing what happened to him

- Mac sometimes wonders if he still thinks about him, too (he does. a lot)

- Not even Doc knows about Mac's old friend

- Despite his Dad being abusive, he still tries to make up excuses for him

- "Well, he grew up in a different time..." all that

- Nobody is happy with this

- Needless to say Doc hates Mac's Dad with a burning passion

- It's a miracle his Dad doesn't want to take care of him so much he lets him spend most of his time at Doc's gym

- It's to the point where Mac has his own bag with a toothbrush and deodorant and shampoo for the nights where his Dad is too drunk to drive him home

- Has a mat with a pillow and blanket specially for him but he usually just falls asleep on the couch while Doc does taxes on the computer

- He's completely fine with jokes about murder, stealing, shootings, or any of the bad shit, but for some reason he CANNOT handle car crash jokes

- He genuinely can't understand why or how someone could bring themself to be fine with jokes like that

- Doc's been meaning to point out to Mac that he treats car crash jokes way differently from other kinds and ask him if he's ok, but he hasn't found the right moment.

- He can sort of assume why, considering every time Doc tries to use his arm as a seatbelt for Mac (like if they're on a bus or using Doc's ancient-ass pickup truck) Mac will start freaking out and not talk for a while

☆ After everything, he considers every building associated with boxing his home

- Because his happiest moments came from boxing and training, he finds the feeling of leather and vinyl comforting

Aran Ryan 🍀🇮🇪

☆ Despite him being mostly an Irish Stereotype, Aran prefers to stay sober

-That's because the first night he ever drank he was so excited to get that high but it never came. All his friends were giggling and hooting and hollering and throwing shit and trying to stand on each-other's shoulders but Aran didn't feel different at all. If anything it made him tired! So he doesn't drink because of that and everyone who finds out is BEWILDERED by it

☆ Might be part fish 🤨????

☆ So... how is fucking Undyne Undertale Aran's Sister?

- Take the Gumball Episode "The Origins"

- Replace Gumball with Aran and Darwin with Undyne

- There's your answer

- If you haven't seen the episode and plan to watch it REMEMBER TO DO IT IN AN ETHICAL WAY. Like don't give money to a company that's sending it's money to a genocide or abusing it's workers or something like that

[c3rnunnos]

Gonna be a downer tonight and say that as much as I love the opportunities to learn and to meet new people that technology has given me, I still hate it more and more the older I get.

This is kinda weird coming from someone that seems to be always on Tumblr, but I really.... Really am coming to hate technology with a passion. Nothing seems to work. Everything has to update or else. You could be using your computer in the way that you always did and suddenly boom, your antivirus decides a problem is happening even though you didn't do anything. Corporations steal my information and I have to always be connected. "oh we don't use that app for videocalling, can you download this one?" "oooh we need you to sign up for this, or else we will deny you service!" "oooh there are sudden damaged files in your pc, make a scan to fix it!" how about I cry instead.

I am becoming increasingly technophobic, yet I rely on technology to keep in contact with loved ones and do my hobbies, and I just wish i could stop, or that all of this continuous updating could stop and tech companies would finally optimize their damn products instead of releasing wildly unoptimized and vulnerable shit into the world. I am currently so full of rage and anxiety because my pc gave me and alert and I will not be able to sleep tonight. Thank fuck my dad is there to check things with me and hold my hand as I scan stuff, and I dread the day when he will be gone and I won't have his calming presence beside me as I do yet another scan or try to download a program.

This is depressing, and anxiety inducing, and I'm so done with technology and cannot let go of it. What the fuck.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Life Update: Stuff Sucks

Well I talked about it briefly before but I figure I might as well just lay it all out on the table. But I'm unemployed yet again.

I kinda wanted to do a "short version" of this, but all you really need to know is that I'm unemployed and having financial issues due to added bills I didn't expect.

my kofi on my pinned message is always open. But I'm not expecting anything, this is not a cry for help, more like.. a cry of complaining.

Everything else past this point is just clarity, transparency and venting.

Unemployed, financial issues, and Stupid Elitist Teacher Drama.

Funding for my program got cut, It was a temp job that only lasted a year but I had hope that they would hire me back for next year, but that wasn't the case. As my evaluation didn't meet "beyond expectations" and they "wanted someone with a different set of skills"

But it was a paid Volunteer program that's funding got cut, so I don't think they can afford to be picky.

The thing about that job is that I was a paid volunteer hired as someone to organize and program the School Library. The issue is that a lot of my ideas that I gave them, they didn't like, would take someone else's ideas, and then yell at me for not doing things independently or on my own. But when I tried to do something independent without their permission like they requested to, they would get mad at me anyway and take someone else's ideas that has worked with the school longer. No matter how many interviews and research I did on how School Libraries function. (I legit interviewed about five schools in the district for information I was super professional about this)

There was also some drama involving the Teachers not wanting a Librarian on staff. I also got accused of "stealing food" from the PTO money. Which, wasn't the case. The PTO has snacks in the breakroom that anyone can take. And teachers told me sometimes they take snacks without paying, only to pay back way later in the week when their paycheck was earned, and it was a more casual "takeapenny/leaveapenny" thing. So yeah, I did take food, and was planning to pay back, and i know I wasn't the only one who did this. I was following the examples that the teachers were doing with their PTO snack shelf. Well, word got out, and there was a huge witch-hunt. And they beat around the bush and banned all Library staff from entering the Teacher Breakroom. Which was just a little stupid. Especially since I paid them all that money back of all the little snackies I 'stole' (stole in big quotation marks. I paid them all back easily. and this was all over some candy and potato chips..... They didn't even allow me into the break room during christmas and I wasn't allowed to eat "teacher staff food" for any hoildays or even if they brought in Pizza for the staff. They were singling out the Librarians as "OTHER" and not welcome in their school. They were doing petty shit before the whole "food debacle" but this whole thing made the entire situation worse.)

There was a huge thing of "we can't prove it's you, but we know it's you"

I do think the issue probably could have been resolved better, if I explained to them my intentions, but it really put a black mark on my record. No teachers really talked to me as much as they used to after that, I was put on probation, but it was dead silent of the results of that probation in December, until they came out and said they won't be hiring me for next year. I think they didn't want to fire me, so they waited until my term was up.

I was not the only one who got fired. A woman who got hired at the same time as me and was working at the Middleschool library got terminated too, and they even said it was all bullshit with how they treated me over this. (we used to be enemies. but now we're friends. We're meeting up for ramen in thirty mins)

I can't deny that their decision to terminate me was partially my fault, but at the same time. Locking the teacher's lounge like "no librarians allowed" to solve the "PTO stealing" issue was completely immature on the Principals part and there were several better ways to handle the entire situation.

One of my main strengths that no one appreciated. (except for this one particular coworker) Is that because I'm autistic, I like to encourage children in weird quests for knowledge. I had a super amazing relationship with the students, and they would infodump to me about FNAF, minecraft and Roblox. And it's clear teachers and parents at home don't encourage, or at least aren't too enthused by whatever passing trend their kid is into. (and I get it it's exhausting) but I would always make an effort to indulge them because if it gets more kids interested in reading, it's all worth it. (I know one girl was asking for "the amazing digital circus" books, but I had to explain to her what a pilot to a tv show is and why there's no books about it. it was a learning experience for her)

I also made student book recommendations forms for them to fill out for what they wanted to see, and would often talk and engage with them on their level.

Which, a lot of teachers didn't see as an asset, because, of course, we're talking about pokemon, minecraft and roblox, or "not school appropriate" things. And by that I just mean something that's a little too dark, like "fnaf" would be considered not school appropriate. Because they're not related to what they're learning. But I think it's healthy to encourage kids into what they're into. Especially if you can easily find books on those topics to recommend to kids who aren't really into reading.

But the amount of Teachers that would give me a side-eye for even mentioning Pokemon casually as they're in the hallways getting ready for Lunch... You would think I was preaching God's Holy Bible on School grounds.

Part of me thinks I could have done something better, but it feels like there was a huge hostility between the Library staff and the Teacher Staff for a really long time and it doesn't matter what I did, I would have been trying to push a huge rock over a hill the entire time.

So it's probably all just a blessing in disguise I'm free from that place.

I loved my job there, and I was sad it kind fell apart, but even knew it was a temporary position, I thought I would hold onto it longer.

I substitute as a teacher aid but it's on call and not frequent enough and trying to get something permanent. So there is like, some small money trickling in but just not enough for my bills, and sometimes none at all if I don't get called in.

On the Money issues: I recently had my old car's brakes completely get destroyed, so I had to buy a new used car, loaning out some money from my family, which put me in the red financially. My grandma thankfully just gave about half of the money to pay my car, my Mom gave the other half, but it's on a loan and she's constantly guilt tripping me over it. Admits she regrets buying her Adult Daughter a car cause "how will I learn?"

Learn what? That I want a walkable city and that the overreliance on just owning a car in America is a fucking nightmare and that the insurance rates on newer vehicles is DUMB?

But yeah, My Mom postponed her loan so I don't need to pay her, but I still have pretty high insurance rates on that thing which will be pretty bad if I don't find something soon.

Also, on top of new expensive bills, remember how I said I was getting free internet? That is a dream that has died. I think the security on my modem/router ran out so I had to pay about 300 dollars in addition to getting a new internet provider, which they are cheap, but compared to the "nothing" I was paying before. This is a notable downgrade, (at least in terms of money. the new internet is great for streaming) and an expense that I did not need, just when I enter into unemployment.

My last day was Yesterday and as of now I am looking for work but I don't know what else to do. I'm like so sick of working and I'm so physically and mentally exhausted from everything.

And you know me, I always feel bad asking for money because I have been unemployed over five times in the past ... year? two years? So I feel bad I always cry about this stupid stuff, and then worse when folks want to give me money, cause I feel I was just complaining about my Car troubles around two months ago.

But my kofi on my pinned message is always open.

[guardevoir]

Another fiber arts update!

Calendar nonsense again, first and foremost:

Days 5-7 were merino/linen, merino, and what I'm pretty sure is a merino/bamboo viscose mix that I had a sample of in a different colorway a couple months back.

The merino/linen will be an interesting challenge, both thanks to the linen content and because I want this to be contrasty and bold like the unspun fiber. The dyed merino is nice dyed merino but it's also dyed merino; been there, done that, had the crocheting friend make a whole-ass shawl out of it. The tweed thing I actually like a lot, color-wise; the product photo never interested me, but irl it's giving Planet Earth with the blues and the splashes of green. Unfortunately, last time I spun this fiber, it kept drafting into clumps because the viscose is so much more slippery than the merino. Let's see if it's less annoying this time I guess. I'd like that, because this stuff makes really pretty yarn actually.

Then, projects:

50g of blue glitter merino down, 150 more to go. (*photo does not show all 50g, my bobbin is tiny. This was maybe 30g)

100g of purely spindle-spun Coburg Fox that I'll now put off washing forever:

I can't skein things nicely to save my life, but what else is new, lol

Put some more glitter merino onto that spindle because I have no impulse control:

The lighting's shit because I was making yarn on company time again, but this stuff is a lovely swamp green, I love it, and I'll never escape the glitter merino. Doing a relatively low-twist, soft single this time; might keep it as a 2-ply or try cabling it to bulk it up a little, not sure yet. I had both a couple grams of sample and the stuff from my advent calendar, so that's neat. Maybe I'll make a wrist distaff out of it; I need one, and it'd be an impressive fiber for it.

And, last but not least, free samples I got!

I'll do a stash update Soon (it, uh. fully hit me that I'll need to spin 700 grams of yarn for christmas lmao. That's about 1.5 lbs. oops!), but I didn't get around to it yet. So, for now, samples! Not shown is the swamp green sparkle merino, because it's been spun.

Left to right: some of the expensive Ashford merino/silk (gorgeous!!! and soft, but oof ouch I better not like this one too much), dyed merino (is dyed merino, I mostly just wanted to see the color irl), polwarth/silk/yak (I am very intimidated, but this is also the warmest thing I've ever touched. Also something I hopefully won't like too much), and dyed (tow) flax (gave it a very quick try, drove me nuts. Maybe I'll get used to it!)

I also have a new shawl made of my handspun stuff, but I didn't get a picture of it yet that actually does it justice, so. Soon! I hope!

[sunny6677]

SOOOO A BIT OF A RAMBLE ABOUT DAMIENS UPDATED BACKSTORY!

TWS FOR TRAUMA, IMPLIED SA AND GROOMING, INSANITY, OBJECTIFICATION, HALLUCINATIONS, DELUSIONS, MURDER, DISMEMBERMENT, DARK STUFF IN GENERAL

@catsockpuppet @fymo-blogs @bulldog-geckorahhhhh

(Since you guys commented on my Damien posts a few times lmao)

Damien was a young child back in the 60s living with his family, and his younger brother, who is Ethans father. He lived a somewhat conflicted childhood. His mother did try her best, but had her own mental problems due to work related stress, and his own dad was hardly there at all due to work and constantly expecting his wife to do all the housework for him. Damien, being an older brother, would always try to look after his younger brother and just help him out—and was forced to help his own mom out a little too much as a child since his dad never seemed to bother. This led to Damien developing a want for people to need him in some way.

In 1968 though, he attended a Ballet class. And.. well, a female teacher of his didn't exactly treat him how she should a student. I won't get into too much detail since it's dark as hell. But all I'll say is that it was like Roy's situation with his uncle. Damien was deeply effected by this and never really told anyone about it. That was until his little brother found him shaking after another incident one day, and Damien was so shaken up and visibly bruised that he ended up breaking down about the whole thing to his mom. His mom got the teacher arrested, but Damien was always shamed by his assault simply because of the fact that he was a boy. And due to the way his teacher treated him, Damien developed hypersexuality, and for a long time, he felt like being treated like an object by other people was love.

In his teens though—his friends from school started to treat him like total shit by basically using him and just worsening his objectification problem. This caused his mental state to noticeably decrease. Damien began to actually hallucinate sometimes, and his anxiety became heightened. His family noticed this, but tried to ignore it for a while since they weren't sure what to do. In 1973 however, an incident occurred where his hallucinations became so bad that he ended up full on screaming at his own brother without knowing and hit him severely with a dust pan by accident, causing his brother to bleed. His mother walked in on this. And rather than giving any explanation or time to think, but also just wanting to protect her kid, she kicked Damien out and left him to fend for himself. Damien had nowhere else to go, so he ran off to one of his friends, who agreed to let him stay. This friend of his was already very manipulative and toxic though, so they began to take advantage of his weakness, and I won't describe all of what they did, but they're defintely the reason nothing ever got better for him.

In his early twenties, he went into college, and got a degree in both Chemistry and Biology. He was skilled enough, and already had an interest in perfumes since he was young, so he decided he wanted to become a perfumer. And finally became one at the age of 25. He made perfumes specifically for his friends as gifts a lot already so he was skilled anyway. (Damien also doesn't even know of Ethan and Morganas existence later on btw. So he isn't intentionally trying to be a deadbeat uncle.)

While on the job though, he ended up meeting a girl by the name of Cassie, who was.. complicated. She was an alcoholic but never seemed to want to get better, was incredibly arrogant and had a bunch of problems but never wanted to fix them, and constantly blamed Damien for everything. But she gave him the attention and 'the other stuff' he felt was love, so he endured it for a long ass time. But an incident occurred that made her angry at him, so much so where they got into a fight, and she basically ghosted him. Throughout these years, Damiens mental problems got worse and worse, until he learnt that she had apparently passed away. One of her friends ended up going to confront him for some reason in an alleyway because they blamed him for it somehow, and actually tried to strangle him, but experiencing a severe trauma response in the moment and a heightened amount of anxiety, he snapped—pushing her away. And grabbing a nearby weapon she had seemed to bring on the scene only to drop it, he began to beat the shit out of her with it, trying to get her to go away. But he ended up beating her too hard and accidentally killed her.

Damien, realizing what he had just done, dropped the weapon and began to have a breakdown. But, he really didn't want to get caught for some reason despite knowing he just killed someone—even if it was self defense. He hid her corpse inside a trash bin. He went back to his house, cleaned himself off, then went back and cleaned the scene off as thoroughly as he could before disposing of the weapon.

Damien lived in years of guilt after this happened, becoming nervous anytime her murder was brought up and even more so when it was always specified they never caught the killer. But he kept it to himself always. Another incident ended up occurring though where he could very obviously tell this female customer of his who was always coming by was being abused by her husband—so he went over to do something about it, but things got violent pretty quick, and he resorted to self defense. Only he did it more violently this time and started to kill him purposefully when he noticed the man struggling to breathe. The wife and Damien were both equally shocked, but the wife was finally free of him, so Damien and her agreed to hide the body together and dispose of everything.

For years and years, incidents like this with Damien kept happening. His reasons for killing were always that the person either deserved it, were abusing someone or being toxic, or that they were a horrible person in general. And this kept carrying on until his insanity maybe got the better of him, and he decided to resort to murdering this one random woman just because she was rude to him at the store. He was caught as he was murdering her though, and was arrested. The woman didn't make it, so Damien received extra charges. He fessed up to the other murders. And was sent to life in prison.

However, this ended up being where he met Bob, who had a cell right next to his. Bob one day started conversation with Damien because he heard him from the next cell over, and they began to describe their reasons for being in prison to one another. Despite being pretty crazy himself, Bob felt pretty bad about all the stuff Damien opened up about since in his eyes it was 'justified' somehow and he also ended up hearing a bit about his childhood anyway, while Damien was afraid of Bob at first because of hearing how he was a cannibal but slowly grew less anxious as they talked. They basically became friends in prison with one another, with Bob promising he'd escape with Damien one night. Oh yeah and Bob also might have escaped at some point to just murder one of Damiens old friends? He was only able to get one of them but it was the one who mainly caused Damien the most trauma so yean. And one night during TT when Bob was set free, he asked for the cult to release Damien too, so they did despite not knowing why.

Damien and Bob went back to their own respective houses, gathering their own things. Damien grabbed himself a hatchet, a cleaver and a syringe while Bob grabbed his own weapons. And they went out on a murder spree (Tender Treats) together. Damien was ran over along with Bob. And he didn't die, but he was knocked out the whole time and was taken to the police station after his injuries were recovered. Where he was informed of Bob's death. This caused him to have a whole other breakdown, and start experiencing hallucinations of Bob talking to him. One night while seeing things, he promised Bob he'd swear vengeance on his behalf and get all the people he wasn't able. And, well.. a year after TT next Halloween, that ends up happening since he's let out by the cult to 'finish Bob's job'. And that ends up being Damiens own episode—Sweet Scents, where he hunts down the kids on Bob's behalf.

Damien also mentally made the connection that murder is 'real love' because Bob was the only person in his life besides a few people who never mistreated him in some way, and wants to show others what 'real love' is by literally killing them.

[tarabyte3]

Fic Updates

It's been a while soo....

I Want You to Show Me Weak — As I've stated before, there are only 2 chapters left in the entire fic. I'm going to be finishing both of them before I post chapter 26. Then I'll be posting chapter 27 the next day. Gonna end the fic with a bang 😏 I have everything outlined and thought out, I just have to finish writing it (I'm very excited about what I have planned/written for the final chapter, which includes the ending). Though I will admit, it's been difficult to write knowing I'll be saying goodbye to this story. I'll miss my boys SO much 😭, as well as this version of Kino x Reader, but I want to finish it for myself and for all of you! Besides, there's always the possibility of oneshots set in this universe in the future AND I'm not done writing for Kino. Not even close! I have no date estimate at the moment, but I'm trying to give this one my full attention so 🤞

The Devil Makes Us Sin — Once Show Me Weak is done, I'm going to give this one my full attention for a while. (Though, to be honest, even though I'm trying to focus on finishing Kino first, I still keep this document open and regularly pop in to write a paragraph or two. What can I say, David is VERY fun to write for 😏, I love him, and I must follow the serotonin). The next few chapters will be shorter so they should go quickly, and I already have around the next 4 of them half written (I actually have about ~25k of future stuff written last time I checked, including parts of chapters MUCH further down the road 😅).

Other Wips

While my focus has been on my ongoing stories, I do have a few other WIPs I have actual content written for! So here's an update on those as well. For fun.

Personal Trainer!Kino x Reader Modern AU — I have the beginning of this story and a few scenes written, and SO many notes for it. (My relationship with my trainer is fantastic. He's 50% big brother energy, 50% wingman energy, but he says THE most out of pocket shit so I immediately write it down after my sessions. Because him saying it does nothing for me, but imagining Kino saying it?? 😵‍💫🫠🥵) It will probably end up ~5 chapters total. Probably.

And Your Heart, Love, Has Such Darkness (David x Reader smutty Oneshot) — I started this one a year ago because I wrote something for TDMUS that didn't quite fit, but I liked it enough to keep it and make it its own thing. It's over half done right now, so it will likely be the next oneshot I post.

I Didn't Want to Hurt You, but You're Pretty When You Cry (Dark!David x Reader) — I think this one will end up about 3 chapters long and will contain a lot of content warnings. It's going to be more horror focused (with splashes of dark humor because I cannot help myself). I adore the opening chunk I've written. It gave me goosebumps.

Secret Andy Blorbo x Reader Oneshot — This one started as a joke on Discord about an Andy blorbo that is not only incredibly niche/unknown, but is actively not attractive (one of the very rare times Andy Serkis does nothing for me. In fact, when I see him, my vagina makes the windows shutdown noise). Except I made the mistake of saying, "I want to try to write for this character as a fun challenge just so I can sexually confuse everyone." And it, uh, spiraled from there and made me rethink my entire stance on this character (thank you for not only indulging me, Hannah, but encouraging me and giving me more ideas 💖 I loved [redacted] thirst day in TNBF)

Halsin x Tav — That's right, I'm writing for the sexy druid. It'll be 2 chapters, and it's about a third of the way finished. This Tav will be a human fighter, but is otherwise written more like a Reader Insert. (Side note: going back to 3rd person POV after writing a lot of 2nd person POV is harder than I imagined 🙃)

Paz Vizsla x Mando!Reader Oneshot — That's right, I'm also writing for the big Mandalorian. It's about a third of the way finished as well. (These last 2 are actually a little intimidating because the fandoms are MUCH larger, but I need to get them out sooo fuck it, it's happening.)

So as you can see, even though I haven't posted very much outside of Liam Black, I'm still writing a lot. Apparently I just have commitment issues and a lot of ✨thots✨ 😌💖

[dreamyeyedrose]

read this if you're confused about the current discord arbitration clause update bullshit going on right now, or if you use discord and have no idea what I'm talking about.

hey so I'm linking the article that Polygon wrote here

BUT TLDR, if you are in the United States of America, this is relevant to you. if not, don't worry about this article, the update is not applicable to you.

discord changed its TOS to make it so that if you're reading this and you currently have a discord account, you have until May 15, 2024, to opt out of their arbitration clause update.

the update in the arbitration clause means that, unless you send an email to the email discord has provided, you revoke your right to publicly sue discord or join any class action lawsuit against discord. LUCKILY discord has stated that, if you don't want that to apply to you, all you need to do is send an email to their specific arbitration opt out email address, the article I linked gave the process.

however, if you're still confused, I'll break down a little more about why discord might have done this, why it's a smart idea and while it's not great, it's not as underhanded as it may first seem.

let's get into it.

why would discord do this, and is it fucked up of them?

simply put, they're doing this because they don't want to be liable for the stuff users do, regardless of why.

say someone makes a threat in a public discord, it gets reported, and discord ignores it, and then that person actually goes out and hurts people. that sucks. that's awful, if anyone ever actually announced that they're going to hurt people, and then they actually go out and do it, that's tragic and horrible all around. and when awful things happen, people want to hold someone responsible. hopefully the person that's actually responsible, but when there's tragedy, sometimes it's hard to tell who's responsible and who's not.

if someone wants to make discord as a company answer for their part in that tragedy, they can just go to the courts and tell the government that hey, people reported the threat, and discord determined that the threat of harm wasn't legitimate. the person that wants to sue them can go to court and say "hey, this guy said he was going to do xyz in this discord server, discord knew and didn't do anything, and then he went and did it, which means they implicitly agree" and under default arbitration laws, the court can go "wow, fucked up of you to just agree with people getting hurt discord, time for app jail" and then the public court gets to force discord to drag everything out in public and defend why they didn't think it was a legitimate threat. now they have to prove that, no, discord as a company does not support hurting people, and the fact that they didn't take this specific bomb threat seriously doesn't mean they support hurting people. regardless of if it's obvious, discord has to prove that they as a company don't condone what happened in this instance. it has to prove used its best judgment to determine if the threat was legitimate or not before it can even clarify if they agree with the events of what happened. when someone turns out to be serious about threats, it can be very hard to prove that when you didn't think it was legitimate, and that you used your best judgment to come to that conclusion. regardless of if that's the case, hindsight is 20/20.

which is understandable! think about how many discord scams there are, the ones that hackers use to get into your account and that type of shit? people who know cybersecurity threats generally know what to look out for, but unfortunately, even if you know what to look for in order to avoid giving a hacker access to your account, you can still get tricked here and there and lose access to your account.

imagine if someone, say, hacks your account, and before you can get back into it, they use your discord account to send a bunch of bomb threats with specific details to the most public discords you're a part of, and then the things happens. shitty, right?

now imagine that the thing happens, and they deleted your account before you were able to get back into it. that rando who only knows you from that one discord server thinks that you were secretly a part of that entire thing and, because your account is gone and you never return to set the record straight, that person thinks you were a sleeper cell asshole. if you didn't approve of the person hacking your account, if you weren't sympathetic to the cause, and if you're never able to get back into that discord and set the record straight, you're going to live in their head rent free as someone who helped plan that awful horrible thing and they were just in a regular discord with someone like that. even if you make a new account, and unless you're able to get back into that discord, whatever user or server nickname you used is now registered in that person's mind as someone who turned out to be A Terrorist.

that's what discord faces, on a company scale, if the wrong people are allowed to publicly sue discord. if enough bad faith actors come together, hack a bunch of accounts, and use discord to announce a terrorist attack, do that, and then delete those accounts, even more bad faith actors can come forward and decide to round up and sue discord. now discord is now on the hook for people who want to hold someone accountable because why didn't they see this coming? discord knew that people were going to die and did nothing? how fucked up is that?

the current laws assume that the person that is pursuing the legal case is acting in good faith, and the person being sued has to prove that they're not acting in bad faith. that assumption inherently makes discord's survival harder, because not everyone that sues someone else does so in good faith.

the way the laws are currently set up, discord has an uphill battle to face all around: that if they did know, why didn't they do anything about it? if they didn't do anything about it, it means that either they didn't take the threat seriously, or they agree with what happened. so which is it? does discord not only negotiate, but go so far as to agree with terrorists?

the issue is that to even get there, we have to decide what terrorism is. and a lot of dangerous people on the internet make threats about doing terrible things, and regardless of how serious they are about the threats they make, a lot of those threats don't come to fruition, either because they were never serious, or bc they were stopped in time. is someone an asshole, a terrorist, or someone who tried to be a terrorist and was bad at it? how is discord supposed to know just by someone saying something in a discord server whether that person is serious or not?

if you don't agree with terrorists, and you're not a terrorist yourself, good news! discord doesn't want to hurt you! they just want to make sure that if someone does something shitty that they don't agree with, that they as a company won't go under because of it. and if anyone tries sue discord for someone announcing they're going to do something that discord doesn't agree with, discord can just say "no, we don't approve of what happened" and thus they avoid being the messenger being shot.

if you don't trust discord to not help people you think are terrorists, then you need to keep your right to sue discord. the Polygon article I linked at the top of the article can give you the email you need to send an email to and a template to use for what you want that email to say.

do what you want with this knowledge.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh hey, Homestuck 2 updated! I was expecting this to be an 11/11 update since that's a Homestuck arc number, but it's the least important of those by far.

Egads! What a despicable plan, devised by a devilish dame with a dastardly disposition. The wretched wiles of a wayward woman with a penchant for the wicked. A hullabaloo most hideous and heinous, hammered out by-

One of the biggest mysteries of Homestuck 2 is who's narrating Candyland with Calliope gone, and the more narration-heavy style of the new team is really calling attention to that. This is very flanderized Jake English dialogue. Also a dramatically more active Jake English than we've seen all...ever?

Under no circumstances can you allow her to get to The Point.

Gonna have fun with that MacGuffin name, huh, writers? It occurs to me that Jake was supposedly a spy the whole time but this is the first indication that he's actually been telling the resistance anything instead of just calling himself a spy as a cope.

I like this art a lot. But also what the hell is Meenah doing here? Last time we saw her, in the epilogues, she was out in space and stole the Ring of Life from John before escaping into a server beacon. Did it lead her into the black hole (lmao get owned), or is this an alternate timeline ghosts? Are her eyes closed in order to drag out that reveal?

JAKE: Shit, sergeant! Cant you add her to the groupcrab? MEENAH: groupcrab MEENAH: cod damn thats good MEENAH: i just been callin em prawnference calls

As fish puns go, "Prawnference calls" is excellent.

MEENAH: idk but hypothetically speaking if i was posted up in my big mean bitch pants just gettin my empress on and you told me insturgeonts were tryin to shore up on some kinda mythic skaian artifact

So, Meenah has her eyes closed to prevent me from knowing if this is the alpha version or a doomed ghost, and now she's dropping very vague hints about what the plot point is. This does feel very homestuck, in that it's teasing out the reveals to maximize speculation. Skaia is, of course, related to SBURB, and thus this is confirmation of the fandom assumption that they're going to start a new game, without actually saying much else.

I have no idea why this air vent is Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff style, but Vriska kicking the sound affect is still funny.

The comedy quotient has increased notably under the new team.

VRISKA: John, she's a Vriska. She can handle herself! I'm sure she can take anything this fake-ass timeline can throw at her! JOHN: what?

Wait, John doesn't know? I thought "Everyone 'knows' candyland is fake and that why they're acting so weird they're just LARPing" was kind of my headcanon for a lot of the weirder candy stuff.

VRISKA: This whole universe is like someone's shitty RP, and everyone's out of character! None of this reads! VRISKA: Like, who the FUCK is Yiffy!!!!!!!! Why should I or anyone CARE????????

I'm so meta even this acronym

JOHN: a long time ago i was supposed to go back and defea- VRISKA: SNOOOOOOOORE! VRISKA: Your ecto-human-guardian-si8ling or whatever is pro8a8ly sending a squad of 8ozos to apprehend your ex as we speak. So I say the less we talk and the sooner we 8low this gru8sickle stand, the sooner we can get there 8efore we lose access to our shortcut. JOHN: yeah when you spell it all out like that i can see what y- JOHN: wait, WHAT!!! JOHN: why didn't you just say that earlier?! VRISKA: John. That's what I've 8een doing this whole time! VRISKA: Now, c'mon! Race you there!!!!!!!!

I don't ship them or anything, but this John/Vriska dynamic where John is kind of the oblivious straight man to all this wacky nonsense is one that Homestuck has been very light on since Act 6.

That was a good update. It was funny, it moved the plot along, and it gave us stuff to speculate about! And the art was really good!