#ur so actually lame be better

[hella1975]

genuinely the moment you find an aesthetic you love and start owning it life gets better

[shopcat]

also by that definition this site itself is "media consumption" which creates a funny world where you're mad ppl do media consumption on the media consumption site that is itself media consumption by your own words. Okayyyy

[technicolorxsn]

blehhh

[adraughtofamortentia]

.

[suiana]

(yandere! prison warden x gn! inmate reader) (FYI idk how the law works ok so DON'T come after my ass) (im the type of lawyer that gets ur sentence increased instead of decreased fr💀💀)

"can i kiss you?"

"dude, i literally threatened to kill you."

"so?"

he stares at you with a raised eyebrow, pouting slightly as he leans against the bars of your prison cell. you choose to ignore him, instead opting to play with the plastic fork from your lunch tray.

damn it, you should've known better than to be caught. now you're stuck in this lame ass prison with this warden you don't even like.

curse that stupid lawyer who got your sentenced increased from fifty years to life imprisonment. dude sucked at his job and still got paid 💀

for some context, you were in prison for tax evasion, fraud, and multiple cyber crimes you shall not name. you got caught by accident and now you were here. sentenced to life imprisonment in jail. in a private cell.

you know, it isn't even half that bad as compared to some other crimes others have committed! so you haven't a slightest clue as to why you were placed in a private cell with no one to keep you company!

i mean, you did try befriending your warden but he turned out to be delusional and turned out to be one of the people you scammed. love-scammed, to be specific. which is why he might've been delusional...

"baby why'd you have to leave me? i was so sad..."

see? this is what you mean! he seriously didn't get the hint that he was scammed! even when you told him straight to his face that you never did actually love him!

god damn it. now you have to hear his yapping 24/7. you're starting to think that he might've been the one to report you. i mean, isn't it a little too convenient? he's a prison warden, you've got a private cell-

"hey! are you seriously not paying attention to me?!"

he hits the prison bars lightly to attract your attention. thankfully, it did. or else he might've thrown another tantrum. and you did not have the mental capacity to handle it. come on! if he did it would've been his third tantrum of the week! and it's only monday!

you cock your head at him, rolling your eyes as you acknowledge his presence. your annoying prison warden instantly lights up at the small gesture. oh well, at least he's in love with you to the point where even you acknowledging him makes him happy...

"babe! you've gotta stop ignoring me! it makes me sad..."

"i don't actually care."

"baby!"

damn it, maybe you should've just bribed the judge to let you have a death sentence instead.

[i6eyes]

%% jean kirstein bf hcs !!

pt 2

contains: sfw and nsfw, implied fem!reader (no y/n), established relationship, soft jean teehee, jean’s horse cawk, nothing too graphic tbh

— who knew a fucking stallion will be the one who's going to bring me back from the dead .

sfw

omg omg he's soo tall right

definitely puts his arms around your shoulder, and kisses u on your temple or forehead too

the sweetest !! i feel like he would be so so attentive to u

oooh u did a double take at the dress u guys walked passed by earlier in the mall? woah it's suddenly in ur bed the next day !! :OO

he's a nice cook ! can cook but the best, his expertise are mostly breakfast foods but he can cook you lunch and dinner as long as he has a recipe

oh he'd be absolutely smitten !!!! i luv big scary men being total sweethearts to their s/o

if ur trying some shoes, he'd be the one to do all of the work ! he'd kneel down, take off your shoes, puts on what you chose on you, will be the who's going to take it off too, then will tie or buckle your shoes up for you

or or or, he'd be out alone and he passes by this little store filled with trinkets and stuff. safe to say, he walked out of the store with a silly little keychain he knew you'd like

^^ one of his love language is acts of service

he loves spending time with you. specially the moments where you two just chill and share some occasional kisses here and there

his favorite thing to do is have you lay on top of him while he's laying down and make you talk about your day !! he'd play with your hair and caress your nape and back while you do so :((

he's obviously attractive, but he doesn't know how much

there's so many simple things that he makes attractive

his attentiveness. you'd be in the grocery then he'd suddenly disappear for a while, only for him to come back with arms full of chips and snacks. "these are your favorites, right?" he said while dumping them in the cart, not even waiting for your answer.

oddly specific but the way he leans on every door way. you know the thing where people place their hands on top of a doorway? that, but he subconsciously does it everywhere. omg imagine he fetches you from your house for a date and the moment you open your door, boom! there's jean, towering you with a smile on his face.

he knows how to slow dance, like the ones in the movies where the main characters would suddenly dance in their living room, to which, he did with you!

slow dancing in the living room with jean :(

if you're still in school and he sees you struggling with a subject or school work, he'd help you as soon as he could, specially if it's something he already learned before. but! if that's not the case, he'd take his time to learn what you're having problems with and try to come up with an explanation to make you understand better

he's so lame (affectionate)

nsfw

oh boy

he's not the stallion for nothing

easily one of the biggest cock in the aot verse

usually, i'd be realistic when it comes to sizes, but jean is at 7-8 inches.

hhhhhhgggh, king of dick prints. he's naturally big even when soft, about 5 to 5.5 maybe. < he's a grower

he's such a big man, his proportions are perfect, of course he needs a big fucking cock to go along with it

he keeps his happy trail no matter what happens. he knows it's attractive and knows that you love seeing it on him

^^ up to you whether you want him to shave or trim, he's fine with anything as long as he keeps his happy trail

wide athletic shoulders that he puts your legs at while he's eating you out our splitting you open with his cock

this man's proportions are actually making me insane i don't know how to put my thoughts into words anymore

his hands are big, but not huge or ginormous. it's pretty and rough looking at the same time. his fingers are longer than most men's but are thick enough like the ones most are familiar with when thinking about a man's hand.

his nape is sensitive, simple touches like brushing his hair back will make him shiver. hickeys also show more easily on his neck, just suck on it lightly and there's already a blooming red mark left in its wake.

oh my god, touch his torso or the bottom of his stomach (ehem, close or at his happy trail) and he's gone. it's starting to become an actual problem because there would be completely innocent moments where you touch those places because you need to get pass by him and he'd just suddenly pop a boner on the spot.

*taps mic* soft dom

he absolutely loves praising you, it's an unconscious thing he does

you'd be on your knees, sucking in his cock on your mouth as much as you could, and he'd groan while keeping your hair out of your face using a hand while the other caresses your cheek, wiping away the tears that lay there.

^^ "there we go, knew you could do it.", "fuckin' natural at it.", "think you could take me a little deeper? uh huh? yeah that's my good girl."

im in shambles

he's SOOOOO good with his fingers my GOD.

he knows what it takes to make you cum with his fingers, he has an actual technique it's crazyyy. doesn't prioritize in making it fast or hard or whatever, whether you like it like that or slow, he will follow his own lead on what he thinks will make you feel spineless.

knows the fingers inside you, palm on your clit thing. has made you squirt using it on multiple occasions

while he adores missionary because he loves seeing your face and folding you in half with your legs beside your ears, doing it doggy will always make him carnal

he has a thing for your backkk. he'd grab the one side of your shoulder while he's hitting it from the back, sometimes he'd bruise your hips with his grip instead

will slap your ass. not really in a sub/dom dynamic. he just likes the way he sees his handprint on your ass while you're writhing beneath him

stroke game is unmatched !!!!!!!!!

he doesn't rely on his size alone, this bitch is actually prepared and knows his shit y'all

even if he doesn't or can't push all of him in, he'd work with what he's able to put inside you and god does he do it well

during missionary, expect him to put a pillow under your hips despite his size and knowledge. he want to make you feel the best at any given time

while he doesn't mind if you're a loud moaner or what, he LOVES hearing you whine.

if you're a whiner, boy is it a good time to be ALIVEEEEEE

he founds it so cute and hot <3

[porcelana-r0ta]

let the mourners come

Title: let the mourners come

Ao3 Link: Only available to Ao3 users

Word Count: 3045

Summary:

It started, as most things do with Danny Fenton, as a joke.

It ended, as most things do with Jazz Fenton, with things better than they were before.

xxXxx

When Danny finally gets a Twitter, it’s during Elon Musk’s shit show takeover. He’s able to secure a good Twitter handle thanks to people leaving en masse and fleeing to Tumblr. He knows about things that happen outside of Amity Park (he is terminally online rather than chronically, after all), but he still doesn’t think anything of using @TheJoker as his handle, even knowing about Gotham City’s clown troubles. It’s just going to be a shitpost account, anyway, one that dances in the chaos of Elon’s electronic graveyard. Nothing will come about him using @TheJoker when he’s merely posting things like, “Just grew a new row of teeth!!! very pointy but can’t go to the dentist anymore bc they might turn me in to the giw.”

So Danny honestly never foresaw The Actual Real Joker breaking out of Arkham Asylum all the way in Gotham City, New Jersey, and deciding to get a Twitter account to terrorize people online as well as offline. And he definitely never foresaw The Joker @’ing him on Twitter, demanding that Danny change his Twitter handle. But, well. Here he was. 

[Image Description: A screenshot of a Twitter reply chain, starting with the real Joker @'ing Danny's Twitter account, which uses TheJoker as his Twitter handle. The Joker, who has a verified account, demands that Danny "change your handle", and Danny replies with a simple "no" followed by red heart emoji. The Joker Tweets, "Kid you don't know who you're fucking with," to which Danny replies, "Ye I do ur some dude w/ poor fashion sense and lame jokes. Maybe try badjokesbyjeff bc originality is ugly on u" followed by a shrugging emoticon. The Joker responds, "Check your DMs." Danny then responds, "Perf [happy emoji surrounded by hearts] I've sent you a time and place. Can't wait to beat the shit out of another disgrace of a clown." Someone with the username "Gregg rulz ok" responds to Danny's last Tweet, "Bro is absolutely RATIOING the joker but the clown keeps responding [three skull emojis] embarrassing frfr too bad he's gonna die for realsies".

End ID]

Danny is quick to respond and then makes even quicker work of roasting The Joker. This soon results in The Joker DMing him his IP Address and a creative threat. Still, Danny isn’t about to cow to a clown with no respect for the art of clowning. He replies to the DM: 

Cool, meet me at the Nasty Burger parking lot in Amity Park IL on tuesday at 2am

The response from The Joker is quick:

Fourteen year olds are too confident these days

Danny rolls his eyes and ignores the influx of notifications from Twitter, and instead makes another Tweet.

Imagine beefing with someone over a Twitter handle lol acc so embarrassing for him

He blackens his screen and stretches in bed, letting his spine pop more than what is humanly possible. He runs his tongue over that second row of teeth, his lips curling into a grin. 

xxXxx

Gothamite Twitter is blowing up over The Joker’s social media beef with a faceless shitposting account. Jason, upon finding out about it, has a series of reactions: first, he looks up the shitposter and follows them. Then, he finds the actual chain between the poster and The Joker, and his vision goes vibrant green when he sees that The Joker’s profile picture is of the second Robin, beaten and swollen in an abandoned building in Ethiopia. 

When his vision clears and he can breathe without wanting to kill, he likes the shitposter’s replies, and he calls the Replacement to see if the other Bats know already.

“We know,” Tim says in lieu of a hello when the ringing cuts out. “We’re working on it.”

“What, you think anything’s gonna come of it?” But even as Jason asks, he already knows the answer. The Joker is unhinged and once he’s threatened something, he’ll follow up unless he comes up with a “funnier” option. 

Tim’s breath hitches, and he says, “I’ve hacked their DMs. Joker knows the kid’s IP address and sent it to him. He knows everything from that address alone.”

He pauses in the middle of suiting up, “Kid?”

He hears Tim swallow, “Yes, kid. He’s fifteen. And he gave The Joker a specific time and place to meet up to fight. In his own hometown.”

“Are— are you fucking kidding me?” 

“No. B is already calling Nightwing. We’re taking the Batwing to Illinois.”

“Jesus fuck. I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Hood, I—”

“Shut up, I’m already in my gear.” He hangs up without waiting for a response. 

He refreshes the Twitter feed and barks a laugh at the newest Tweet:

Jason Todd votes, and the Red Hood leaves his safe house. 

xxXxx

A commercial flight to Illinois takes around two and a half hours. In the Batwing, they get there in an hour, and don’t even have to worry about the drive from Chicago to a small speck of a town like Amity Park. They spend the quick flight learning everything they can about Daniel James Fenton, the owner of the Twitter account, and they can all sense the growing tension from (and between) Bruce and Jason.

But, well. Jason doesn’t care. Let them be uncomfortable. It doesn’t compare to being ripped back into life and finding out his dad didn’t even get justice for his death. 

When they reach town, it doesn’t take long to find the Fentons’ home. This is in part because Amity Park is a very navigable town, and because of the giant neon sign proclaiming FentonWorks on the side of the building. 

“Is that a blimp?” Dick asks. “Why don’t we have a blimp?” 

“Where would we keep it?” the Demon Brat counters practically. “Goliath takes up all of the Cave’s extra space.” 

Jason rolls his eyes and knows veins would be popping out of Bruce’s forehead if it weren’t for the cowl. 

“Let’s go,” Bruce says instead, and they all make their way to the house. 

Nightwing, predictably, goes for the front door approach. Jason rolls his eyes as he takes one of the second-story windows and finds his way downstairs.

He gets down at the same time that a redheaded girl answers the door and nearly slams it in Dick’s face. Jason has to suppress snickers at the sight. 

“Wait, wait, wait, are you Jazz Fenton? We need to talk to your brother!” 

“...We?” she asks, then tenses and turns around to see the rest of the Bats in the hall behind her. Dick takes the opportunity to step in completely, closing the door behind him. “Wha— what’s going on?”

“Where are your parents, Jazz?” Bruce makes every question sound like a demand. Jason rolls his eyes from behind his mask—way to put the teenager at ease, B.

“Why do you need to know?” Her voice has a defensive edge to it. “What do you want with Danny?” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nightwing comforts. “He didn’t do anything too bad, just said some dumb things online. It’s not his fault.” 

This relaxes her, and her shoulders begin un-hunching. “Oh, s-so what’d he do?”

“He foolishly challenged The Joker to a battle in a ‘Nasty Burger’ parking lot tonight.” 

“You could’ve had some more tact, Robin,” Nightwing scolds. But the Demon Spawn just crosses his arms. 

“He did what?” Jazz shrieks. “Like, The Joker from Gotham? That Joker?”

“Are there others?” Red Hood comments dryly. 

Her face goes through several different emotions—disbelief, rage, fear, and then rage again, “DANIEL JAMES FENTON! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” 

There’s a thumping noise, and then frantic footsteps down the stairs. 

“Wha? Who died?” asks the figure of a tiny fifteen-year-old, smaller than even Jason had been when he was alone with The Joker. He’s tiny and lanky. Zero muscle definition. Eye bags to rival the Replacement’s. Something ripples in the Pit, deep and distinct, but he can’t name what causes it.

Oh, this kid is so dead. 

“Danny,” says Jazz calmly while Danny blinks uncomprehendingly at the heroes in their hallway. She is solemn when she says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you now.” 

“What did I do?” 

She stares at him, “Why have you scheduled a fight with The Joker?” 

“Oh, that.” He rubs the back of his neck, “Is he taking that seriously?”

“Of course he is, Danny! It’s The Joker! That’s what he does! He can’t differentiate between a joke and reality! He would tear off his own face for the bit!” 

“Oof,” is all Danny can muster. He digs his phone out and starts typing before Jazz yanks it out his hand. 

“You’re fucking TWEETING about this?” Jazz asks incredulously, and Hood’s hackles rise. She even reads the Tweet aloud, “‘Just found out @TheJ0ker is being fr about fighting me. Sad but i can take a clown.’”

“I was gonna add ‘i’ve done it b4,’ but like the letter and the number four. But yeah.” 

“You’re grounded forever.” Danny opens his mouth to protest, but the look Jazz cuts at him is so scathing that he shuts his mouth. Hood is reluctantly impressed—she had what could be cultivated into a fantastic Batglare. She pockets the phone, “You’re never getting this phone back. Taunting The Joker to Amity? Have you any brain cells? What if he brings Joker gas with him, huh? Or any of his goons? What if he starts hurting other people? Have you thought any of this through?” 

Danny’s face goes from tired to chastised, his lips drawing into a frown, especially at the mention of other people. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t think that he’d take it so seriously.”

“He sent you your IP Address.”

“I thought that was just a random string of numbers?”

“Oh my god,” Jazz despairs. “Oh my god. Grounded forever. See, I know you're lying to me. I know you're lying because Tucker, the nerdiest tech nerd to have ever been born, is your best friend.”

He rubs the back of his neck, “I tune him out?”

“You’re still lying to me?” Jazz scoffs and turns to Batman, “Do whatever you want with him. I’m not going to defend him from this.” 

“Hey!” complained her brother, but Batman just continued on, “Where are your parents?”

“They’re in Sweden for a science convention,” Jazz answers. “They left this morning.” 

Damn, Jason curses to himself. 

“Jazz, seriously. You’re not gonna let Batman kill me, right?” 

“Do you want to be cremated or buried, Danny?” Jazz asks blasély, and Danny gulps, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. 

“It’s my Twitter handle,” he mutters petulantly, and Jason can’t believe the gall of this kid. Or maybe stupidity. Audacity’s a good one, too. “If he wanted it, he should’ve gotten it first. And he gives clowns a bad name.” 

“Not the clown thing again.” Jazz digs her palms into her eyes, sighs, then turns to the heroes. “He has a whole clown thing ever since Circus Gothica came to town and robbed a bunch of jewelry stores.” 

Danny gestures wildly with his hands, as if demonizing clowns was the real problem and not the egomaniacal mass murderer who wanted to murder him for his Twitter handle, “Clowning is an art form, Jazz, and people like Freakshow and The Joker make a mockery of the very serious societal statements that clowns make!” 

All of the Bats very carefully Did Not look at Nightwing, who has made very similar rants on quiet patrols.

“You are never leaving this house again,” she says serenely. “And I’m unplugging the wifi router.”

“You would punish even yourself?”

“Oh, little brother. I would watch the world burn if it meant knocking sense into your thick skull.” 

“Okay, Christ,” Red Hood finally interrupted the siblings’ melodrama. An unyielding redheaded girl and a mouthy black-haired, blue-eyed boy? They’d fit in a little too well back at the Manor, so Jason needs to cut this shit out before Bruce’s bat-doption instincts start tingling. “Stop. Just… Christ. Stop. Is this how you always interact with each other?”

“Sometimes there’s explosions,” Danny pipes up, a cheeky grin on his face. 

Jazz doesn’t dispute it. 

Fucking hell. God damn it. I can’t. I just can’t. 

Batman doesn’t give anything away, “Robin and Red Robin will be staying here with you until Nightwing, Hood, and I apprehend The Joker. First, we’re going to check the perimeter.” 

“Oooh, I get to give the lab tour!” 

Lab?

“No lab. You’re grounded. You’ll only be in there for cleaning duty now.”

“Wh– hey! No fair!” 

“What’s this lab you two are talking about?” Red Robin asks before Jazz can rip into her brother again. 

She sighs, “Our parents’ lab. I’ll show you, but someone needs to stay with Danny.” 

“You act like I’m gonna run off and start World War III….”

“I wonder why,” she says sarcastically.

Batman nods to Robin, who nods back, and the rest of them follow Jazz out of the living room to a metal reinforced door. She types in a code—Jason catches the numbers 03-14-99. There’s an assenting beep, and she opens the door, flicking on the lights and leading them down into what is apparently a basement lab. 

A stone settles in Red Hood’s stomach, cold and heavy. 

The basement is large, likely the floor size of the entire building. There are several work tables, filled with miscellaneous blueprints and spare parts and weapons and tools. Against the farthest wall is another armored door, but what draws Hood’s—and the entire Batclan’s—attention is the south wall, where a circular hole in the wall was glowing a toxic Pit green. 

The stone shattered in his stomach, splintering into his body. Is it harder or easier to breathe? Jason can’t tell. 

“Wow,” says Nightwing. His voice is cheerful, but Jason can feel the stress beneath it. “Do I even want to know?” 

Wasn’t this supposed to just be typical Joker bullshit?

“Our parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz explains nonchalantly, walking further into the lab. “As in, ghost biologists.” She pauses at one of the work tables, picking up a green and white thermos. Pretty boring, considering the rest of their surroundings. 

“Ghosts.” Red Robin’s voice is carefully neutral. 

“Ghosts,” Jazz reaffirms. “I know. I thought they were crazy at first, too. But I can prove it, if you like.” Then, without waiting for a yes or no, she untwists the thermos, and there’s a bright flash of white, and a whole entire body sprouting out of it. 

“WHOO! I’M FREE!” cries the…being, pale and floating and lanky and entirely too big to have fit into a fucking thermos, of all the fucking things. “....And not in the Realms? Wait.” He stops stretching, descending to rest closer to the ground, but still hovering a few inches from the floor. He’s got green eyes and lifeless (ha) blond hair. He’s wearing a trenchcoat and a green skull necklace. Overall, he looks like the type of thug he’d arrest in the Bowery. 

“Hello, Johnny.” The man’s—ghost’s?—eyes flicker around each person in the room, his gaze becoming more and more confused and panicked as he takes in each Bat, before settling on Jazz Fenton. 

“Why are the fucking Bats here?” 

“The Joker’s coming to Amity,” she says. The ghost’s eyes widen. Jazz tilts her head, “How many ghosts would you say passed away in Gotham, Johnny?” 

As Jason and the Bats tense, this Johnny guy lets out a wicked laugh, “Oh, Doll, you have the best surprises. Why did we break up?” 

“You did try to have my body possessed. That ruins any good relationship.” 

“Man, but Kitty’ll love this. Thanks for letting me out of Soup Time, Doll.” He floats higher, “Any advice?” 

She throws him the phone she’d confiscated from Danny and he catches it easily, “Everything’s on here. Have fun.”

“What exactly are you planning?” Batman scowls. 

Johnny laughs, “Aww, don’t worry, Bats. Peace and love on Planet Earth, or whatever. We’ll make it quick.” Then, as the Bats leap into action as one, Johnny turns invisible, the Batarangs passing harmlessly through where he’d once been floating. 

“Where did he go?” Batman turns his scowl, angrier than ever, to Jazmin Fenton, who stares back unflinchingly. “He’s going to solve the problem.”

“You mean he’s going to kill The Joker.”

She shakes her head, “Oh, no. That’d just be asking for him to come back as a ghost. Could you imagine a Joker with powers like invisibility, intangibility, flight, and more? Johnny can be impulsive, but he’s smart. None of them will kill The Joker.” 

“Then what are they going to do?” Red Robin asks. 

“My parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz repeats from earlier. “But I am more of an anthro-ectopologist. I am concerned with the study of ectoplasmic beings’ societies and cultures. And while it is very ancient, there is protocol in the Infinite Realms—that is, where you go when you die, should you remain after death—to prosecute living criminals who have killed a certain number of Realms citizens. So you don’t have to worry about your moral code, Batman. The Joker will be tried by a much fairer court than Gotham can ever hope to have. No offense.” 

Jason stares at Jazz Fenton, who he’d pegged as the sane sibling. He’s not so sure now, but he can’t say he hates it.

“And how do we know it’s a fair trial?” Nightwing asks. 

She waves her hand, “Oh, as Gotham’s Knights, you’re key witnesses. I’m sure you’ll be summoned to testify. You will see then. And don’t worry about your secret identities—the dead don’t care much for that sort of thing.” 

“So if this is a ‘fair’ trial or whatever, The Joker’s going to be locked up forever?” Jason asks. “I mean, that’s the only option for shit like him.” 

Batman sends him a look, but he ignores it. 

“Well, there are several different punishments that could be deemed appropriate, but he’ll never be able to set foot in the mortal world again, yes.” 

Jason Todd grins, “Oh, I’m glad your brother’s stupid, kid.” 

She sighs, long-suffering, “Well, that makes one of us. Still, there’s more important things we should discuss now that you’re here.”

“More important than The Joker trying to kill your brother over a Twitter handle?” Red Robin asks doubtfully. 

Jazz smiles, sharp and dangerous, and asks, ”Have you ever heard of the Anti-Ecto Acts?” 

xxXxx

Several months later when Danny is finally un-grounded, he Tweets his last three Tweets before Twitter can become the foolishly named X: 

Imagine bullying the Joker so hard that it not only lands the Joker in ghost prison BUT it also leads to major law reform in the US lmao someone make the domino effect meme about this pls

Y’allre replying to me with thanks like i did anything other than be an internet troll. My sister literally manipulated local, federal, and interdimensional law so you should be thanking her. 

i just a babie 🥺🥺🥺

xxXxx

Thanks for reading! This is the whole fic, so pls do not ask for tags! Thank you :)

[itsoutrageouss]

PLSS WRITE MORE ELLIOT SMUT, UR THE ONLY WRITER I ACTUALLY LIKE, I DONT HAVE ANY IDEAS SO JUST HAVE FUN WITH IT

<33

a/n: This is actually so sweet , I’m very honoured omg. I’m here :))

warnings: smut, fingering, pussy drunk elliot

—🍊

PRETTY HALLWAY GIRL

You’ve seen him around school. His bleached blonde locks and his plump lips. His clothes.

You imagined showing up to school in one of his shirts, how it would smell like him. Then you felt like banging your head against your locker because what the fuck? You’ve never even spoken together. Well you’ve never had a conversation that is- you’ve made up excuses to talk to him throughout the year: had he seen a leather jacket around here? Had he done homework for history? And whatever other pathetic idea you came up with.

And here you were in P.E running track. Elliot never really participated, just hung around wearing anything but gym clothes and your teacher had already given up on him. You were out of breath, running and running partly to impress him and party because you feared your teacher a little bit. You run so hard you don’t even notice when you pull the excellent move of running right into him. He grunted and you let out a yelp as you both fell onto the ground, face land in right into the burnt sienna colour of the worn out track.

“What the fuck” Elliot mumbled, trying to get up from the ground. You rolled onto your back to give him access and you looked up at the sky, mortified.

“Fuck me im so sorry” you whispered holding your hands over your face as if that would make it better. He sat up clumsily on his elbows and wiped the dirt from his arms as he looked at you on the ground. At first he looked sort of annoyed, brows furrowed and lips parted as he searched your very hidden face. Then he chuckled, humming as an amused expression spread on his face.

It surprised you so much that you slowly moved your hands from your face to look at him in bewilderment. “I know you like me, but I didn’t know you’d actually fall for me doll” he teased with a cocked brow. Your eyes widen as you hurriedly sat up and winced from the dizzying feeling it gave you.

“I don’t like you!” you huffed, trying to straighten your spine to seem… chill. Casual; yeahhh it’s all good I don’t care.

He actually fucking laughed this time, wiping his plump lips with the back of his hand as he shrugged. “Cool. Well even though you don’t like me” *he said with a very unbelieving tone as he stood up from the ground and stretched out a hand* “you can help me get out of this class by pretending to be a little bit more hurt than that yeah? I have to take you to the school nurse or some shit” he said with a dismissive, careless hand. Your heart pounded as you took his hand and he lifted you to the ground.

“Sure. But I’m only doing this for my own uh, my own sake” you tried. His eyes narrowed as he scrutinised your face and your lips parted in a nervous breath as your eyes fluttered to look anywhere but him.

“Whatever- your lip is actually bleeding but you’re standing wayyy to straight to be believable” He said, enjoying how nervous you got, a small satisfied smile splaying on his lips as his big brown eyes looked you over.

“Right” You mumbled as you doubled over yourself to look more hurt.

“Way too much doll” he chuckled. You blushed. He put your arm over his neck and pretended to help you into the school again. You didn’t even hear his lame excuse to the teacher, too focused on the way your mouth went dry as he helped you limp away until you turned to a secluded corner outside the school where he let you go. You straightened and stiffened as you awkwardly waited for… well you didn’t really know.

Elliot took a step closer, making you bump into the wall behind you. “Relax im just fixin’ your face” he said, amused by your nervous demeanour as his thumb swipes over the slit of blood on your lower lip. You winced, looking intensely at how close his face way. His brown puppy eyes darted up to yours. “You know I can tell when you stare at me right?” He whispered.

Your breath hitched and your jaw ticked as you tried to come up with a good excuse. Anything, anything. You found him ugly. His hair was… ugly… no you had nothing but the truth.

“You’re just nice to look at I guess” you shrugged, but your voice betrayed the casual demeanour.

“Man you can’t say stuff like that” he rubbed his hand over his face as you spoke trying to hide his own flushed state. He might seem cool but Elliot wasn’t exactly used to pretty girls like you acting like he was some sort of popular high school jock. And he hadn’t expected you to admit to anything.

“Why not?” you asked softly, blinking up at him with genuine curiosity and he nearly combusted. Of course he’d noticed. He just didn’t know how to fucking act on it because you were so… soft and…

“Drives me fucking insane” he mumbled in a low voice as his eyes darted between yours. You were so genuinely bewildered and also felt so confident for once. His eyes briefly glanced at your lips.

“Is it still bleeding?” You asked in a shaky whisper, pressing into the wall as your hand basically clawed at the brick behind you. Your lip still throbbed.

His eyes narrowed as he shamefully looked back at your lip. “Yeah. Let me help. A favour for a favour or whatever” he grumbled as he leaned forward. You barely registered what was happening before his soft lips pressed to yours and his warm tongue slid over the wound to soothe it. You stiffened against the wall and he pulled back slightly, his warm breath fanning over your lips.

“I thought you wanted this, don’t go all weird on me now doll” he mumbled with an amused grin. It was enough to snap you out of it.

“Right- right” you whispered and leaned forward again to press your lips to his. His hands slid around your waist as he pressed you to the wall. Your head thumped against the brick. “Ow” you mumbled into his mouth and he blushed and smiled. “Fuck, sorry”

It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter as his warm hand slid under your shirt and ran over the sweaty skin, tracing the line of your shorts. “Elliot” you whispered nervously and he pulled back slightly, a string of spit connecting your now kiss swollen lips as his big brown eyes looked you over with furrowed brows.

“Do you even know my name?” You huffed, fiddling with the hem of his big t-shirt. He arched a brow.

“Pretty hallway girl. Sits behind me in history. Sort of clumsy. Hauled me to the ground.” He recited amused and you stifled a laugh. That was good enough for you and you pulled him back into you. It was clumsy, messy and hurried and suddenly his warm hand slipped under your waistband. You gasped and looked down.

“Is this okay? Can I touch you? Jus’ really wanna touch you.” He asked breathlessly, almost pleading and you nodded hurriedly up at him, keeping eye contact as his hand went under your panties. His fingers were cold compared to how molten and wet you were and you gasped as your hips bucked slightly into his hand. His lips parted and his eyes soften as he felt you, running a finger up and down.

“How’d you get so wet?” He asked with a flush, genuinely breathless at the feeling. Your cheeks reddened profusely.

“I think it started when you looked at me like that for the first time a couple minutes ago” you whispered, aching for the way he suddenly noticed you, and not only saw you but looked like he wanted you.

One of his fingers slipped inside of you and you tightened around it over and over again. People could see you if they walked around this corner and it all felt a little filthy and you ground against his finger mindlessly. “Shit doll I should’ve done this sooner” he said with genuine fascination as he looked at where his hand dissapear Ed into your shorts and your hips bucked. He curled his finger slightly and it made you keen. He had obviously been with people but it felt like he was a damn virgin all over again right now and he couldn’t believe how responsive you were being.

“Can I put- can I put another one in?” He asked shamelessly, pupils blown as he looked at your needy face. “Yeah” you breathed out and whined as he stretched you with another finger, sliding them in and out. Your wetness deeper into your shorts and he stuttered out a breathy, incoherent sound as he saw it. “Shit you’re so tight how are you so…” he felt fucking pussydrunk just from this as your hips ground onto his two fingers.

You fisted his shirt and pulled him closer, and he stumbled into you. Your eyes pleaded up at him. His cheeks were flushed and lips parted and he looked almost mesmerised. It made you flutter all over and your clit throbbed at how you suddenly had his attention, all over you, almost feeling like you were the one in control now. “Please make me cum, Elliot” You choked out at how his fingers moved torturously slow just for his own pleasure of feeling you warm and wet around him. Your words started him out of it and he blinked rapidly.

“Right, yeah fuck.. wanna make you cum” he whispered and pressed into you as his thumb rapidly moved over your clit now, his fingers curling, moving in and out and he used everything he had to get you there. The way his thumb messily, *frantically* swiped over your clit from how desperate he was to make you cum was so endearing and you were obsessed. So obsessed with how flushed he was that you locked up around his fingers, seizing them as your gym shorts got positively ruined. My mouth opened as I arched off the wall. He saw and pressed his chest into yours immediately to feel you. He couldn’t even move his fingers with how tight you locked up around him and he accidentally ground his hips into you, pressing his weeping hardness into your hip.

“That’s it- that’s its doll” he whispered quickly, fascinated, horny as fuck. When you finally relaxed he pulled his fingers out of you slowly and your slick gleamed in the sunlight on his two fingers. He wanted to lick them but tried to contain himself as he wiped them in his shirt instead.

“That was-“ you breathed out but just as soon you heard a group of people around the corner, their shows crunching in the gravel. Elliot moved sickly and took his zip up hoodie from around his waist and wrapped it around yours to hide your soaked shorts. My head whipped up to his face at the small but kind gesture before he pressed a had into my back and I stumbled forward as we started walking to seem casual.

“So uhm” he wiped his nose, glancing at the unsuspecting students turning the corner. “Does the pretty hallway girl want to get out of here?” He asked, feigning casualty as he internally pleaded for you to come with him home so maybe you’d return the favor. He was positively obsessed after what just happened.

—🍊

masterlist

[hqbaby]

five — burn

fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader

you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.4k content. swearing, suna having impure thoughts lmao

“Rin, have you ever been in love?”

Suna chokes on his water, coughing it out as you burst into laughter beside him. He feels your hand come up to pat his back until his throat clears. He downs more water in an attempt to feel better.

“Didn’t know you were so against romance, Rinnie.”

He looks up and glares at you. “You can’t just spring questions like that on a guy!”

“I didn’t know it was a touchy subject!” you shoot back, still laughing. “I expected you to be all wistful about it, not to die.”

He goes over to the sink and rinses his glass out, leaving it in the drying rack before walking back to you. He frowns, wrapping an arm around your waist. On any other day, you’d call him clingy. “Why are you even asking me that?”

You shrug. “I don’t know,” you say. “I just wondered what it’d feel like. In case it happened or whatever.”

Suna’s heart drops to his stomach and he feels a lump begin to form in his throat. He pulls away from you, like he can’t bear to touch you right now. Like you burn somehow.

Weird, he thinks. That’s never happened before. Why is it even happening?

“You’ve—” He clears his throat. “You’ve never been in love before?”

You hum in consideration. “I thought I loved Tooru for a while, back when we were kids,” you tell him. “And maybe I did, I don’t know. It was so long ago, I don’t even remember what it could have felt like.”

“And… you think you might fall in love again soon?”

You look at him with an amused expression. “You’re being weird,” you say. “I like it.”

It’s like your words screw his head back on, the familiar teasing groove of your conversations reminding him of who you are and who he is. Why does it matter to him if you fall in love with anyone? That isn’t any of his business. You’re friends, nothing more, nothing less.

“Whatever.” He rolls his eyes. “Not like anyone would fall in love with you anyway. You snore, y’know.”

You jump onto his back and attempt to tackle him to the ground. You can’t, of course, he’s too strong for your sudden weight to even make him stumble. “Take that back!” you say as he starts laughing at you. “God, you’re such a boy! You’re so lame!”

“Not as lame as your sweater.”

“It’s a Taylor Swift cardigan, you asshole!”

“Oh my god, will you quit smiling at your phone? It’s freaking me out.”

You give Oikawa the finger, eyes still focused on your screen.

“That’s rude, Y/N.”

You hush him. “You weren’t even talking to me,” you say, typing. “You and Iwa have been all whisper-whisper with each other this whole time.”

Your best friend makes his way over to you and flops his body on top of yours, taking your phone away and putting it on the coffee table. It’s his turn to hush you. “We were talking about you actually.”

“Me?” you ask, trying to push him off of you. “Get off, man.”

He ignores you. “Yeah, there’s this party tonight. One of the guys from volleyball is throwing it—”

“Yeah, at Hinata’s place. I know this, Tooru.”

“What? Why? How?”

You put your palm on his face and push him away. “Your breath reeks!”

“It does not!” he exclaims, putting his palm over your face in retaliation. “Now, how do you know about this party?”

“Atsumu asked me to go—why do your hands smell like my lotion?”

“Atsumu asked you to go?!” Oikawa shrieks. “The nerve of that guy!”

“Well, I am kinda hanging out with him.”

“You said it wasn’t serious!”

“I never said it was.” You grunt as you slide yourself out from under him. “You should really brush your teeth.”

“I’m telling your mom that you’re a bully.” He pouts, crossing his arms over his chest. “So are you going to the party or what?”

You lean your body over his. “Maybe,” you say. “Are you?”

Oikawa looks over his shoulder at Iwaizumi. “Are we?”

Your quieter friend nods. “Why not?”

y/n the love of my life: see u ;)

Suna blinks. What are you even talking about? The two of you haven’t made any plans for tonight. Trust him, he would’ve remembered.

He takes a swig of his beer and texts back.

him: wdym

y/n the love of my life: just wait ;)

He groans. Maybe he did forget something. You were talking a lot the last time he saw you so it’s not impossible that he missed something (even if he didn’t because he obviously always listens to you).

y/n the love of my life: look up pretty boy

He glances up from his phone and there you are, phone in hand with a smile on your lips. As you make your way over to him, he can’t help but notice the way your skirt sways to match your steps and the leather jacket you’re wearing does nothing to hide the tight cropped top underneath. You take a sip from the solo cup you’re holding before settling in front of him, maintaining a respectable distance between the two of you when you realize that there are other people around.

“Hi,” you say. “You look nice.”

He smirks. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

You give him a little twirl, the fabric of your skirt lifting as you do. “Thanks.” You grin. “I just got this the other day.”

“It’s cute,” he tells you. He also wants to tell you that it’s taking everything in him not to bend you over and fuck you right then and there, but he figures that wouldn’t be polite. “So why are you here? I thought Oikawa banned you from the volleyball team.”

“Still banned. But he wasn’t the one who invited me.”

Suna furrows his brows. “What? Then who—”

“Y/N!”

The twins are heading your way, Atsumu with his arms open wide. Suna watches as you whip your head around to face the boy, a look of warmth taking over your features.

“‘Tsumu!” you say, falling into the blond’s embrace as he presses a chaste kiss to your cheek. “I was looking all over for you.”

“Sorry, ‘Samu got the directions wrong.”

“No I didn’t,” Osamu says.

Atsumu nudges his brother. “Yes. Ya did, ya scrub.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure, I did. Totally wasn’t ‘Tsumu.”

Suna watches as Atsumu introduces you to his brother. He watches as you make a quip about choosing the wrong twin. He watches as Atsumu scolds you lightly and you apologize with a laugh. He watches as you all turn your attention to him.

“Ya already know Sunarin, right?” Atsumu asks you. “Ya met in class or somethin’?”

“An elective,” you clarify. “Pottery.”

“I didn’t know ya knew how to make a pot, man.”

Your eyes are on him, nodding for him to say something. He nearly freezes under your gaze. “Uh, yeah.” Suna chuckles, trying to mask just how confused he is by this situation. “Better at smoking it though.”

Atsumu laughs, clapping his back before putting his arm around your waist. “I’m gonna go introduce Y/N to the others.”

Osamu nods, taking his place beside Suna. “See ya,” he says as the two of you disappear into the crowd. He leans against the wall. “So that’s the girl. Huh. Wonder why she’d go for an ass like ‘Tsumu.”

Suna feels his mouth go dry. “What do you mean ‘the girl’?”

The twin looks at him with a raised brow. “The girl,” he repeats. “Y’know. The one ‘Tsumu’s kinda been seeing.”

“What?”

“Yeah. They’re not together yet, but I think ‘Tsumu really likes her.” Osamu frowns when he sees Suna’s face fall. “Ya good, man?”

He nods quickly. “Yeah, uh, I just need some air. Feeling a little sick.”

He’s walking away before his friend can even say another word, making his way through the sea of people and out the back door. It’s like his lungs are on fire. It’s like he’s burning. He thinks it might be the alcohol, but he knows it isn’t. He knows it’s you. Somehow. 

It’s Atsumu beaming at you as he introduces you to his brother. It’s you teasing the boy and him making you laugh. It’s Atsumu holding your waist—holding your waist the way that he does—and leading you away from him.

It’s all of that. It’s everything else. It’s you.

It’s you that’s making him burn.

notes. i'm gonna be honest, my real intention for this series is for everyone to flip-flop between suna and atsumu at all times HAHSHAHA we will never know true peace 😩 but isn't that so much more fun anyway ;)

[zgvlt]

sending your crush a survey form hcs first years (and idia shroud) x reader (separate) *ortho's is platonic, with reader having a crush on idia instead

author's note: insp. by that youtube trend! i haven't seen another writer do this for twst, but regardless this will be my own rendition and take on the trope! even though the gen concept is the same, each character has a different twist with theirs

general tags: gender neutral reader, fluff + attempt at humor, sfw, time skip after NRC graduation, not beta read, mix of text and images (for images, image desc/text version available for screen readers and those who prefer to read text over image)

wc: approx. 6k+ total (around 1k per character)

character: ACE TRAPPOLA premise/trope: sending the survey form to Ace, who's already your signfinicant other

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

The initial reaction is nothing out of the norm for Ace. Sure he doesn't seenzone or ghost you, but his quick replies consist of him typing variations of "LMAO" and "ARE YOU FRFR", as well as laugh reacting the message itself.

He also asks you if you're planning on becoming an influencer or streamer or something along those lines, why else would you want to make and send him a form like that?

After a few minutes, though, he'll start trying to call you, mentioning/pinging you to make sure you answer. If you're able to ignore his calls, he's going to make sure your phone is unusable with the amount of notifications he sends your way. Hey, maybe you'll even click on it and answer the call on accident!

Ace, as your significant other, probably knows your schedule so he's fairly confident that you have nothing else better to do than to answer him (he wouldn't be spamming you otherwise), so he's smug and not surprised that you eventually answer him. The first thing he tells you on call is,

"You're so lame, we're literally dating?! By the way... did you actually send this to other people?"

Makes fun of you if you say he's the only one but he also thinks it's sweet, and he says as much in a tone that sort of comes off as mocking at first, but it's clear after the first few seconds that he does think it's cute.

He's mature enough if you say you've sent it to other people. Rather than jealous, he's smug at the fact that he's the last crush, he's the end game.

Tells you to stay on the call as he answers the form. You'll notice that even as he's making fun of you with each question, the things he says versus the things he types differ from one another.

(And even if it didn't, you've become an expert at figuring out how to read Ace Trappola)

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

Q: did you know that i liked you (don't lie) A: wtf did you downgrade me?? did i go from L O V E to L I K E...? damn 💔💔

Q: if yes, how did you find out A: because you were ALWAYS clinging onto me in our NRC days 🙄 like come on could you not leave me alone for a little bit damn you really had to spend every minute with me and then after graduation ur still all over me tsk tsk also you were all heart eyes whenever you looked at me I'm not dense!

Q: okay so did you ever like ME A: the way i know you’re asking this so you can get some new material to make fun of me with. who did you get that bad attitude from huh 🤔 anyway unfortunately i did, and because i know you’re going to try to punt me for that i’m jOKING we’re literally together of course i did and do

Q: what do you like about me A: [ticks the boxes: everything, about, me, other] wowww maybe i do hype you up too much what is this behavior

Q: how did we meet A: you were in trouble and i saved your butt no this is not historical revisionism

Q: most memorable moment(s) w/ me A: to get the sap out, every moment with you is memorable awwww im so sweet, anyway now that i said that - everytime we got in trouble w/ trein or crewel bc we kept passing notes - group bonding activity by making fun with deuce (with love!) - the time we got caught sneaking out by riddle, trey, AND cater like triple kill?? - i guessss our first date (see point three) (theyve NEVER let me forget it bruh)

Q: is there something you dont like abt me A: well if were being serious there are just like there are things you find annoying about me but weve talked about it before and were working through it anyway serious talk over!! if there are other replies to this let me know if i have to fight someone lol (or you can do it yourself and i can watch) (or just prank them or smth i support your rights AND your wrongs)

Q: answer this only if ur my s/o: ily A: why are you being so cute today should i be worried? KIDDING i love you too

Q: ty for answering any last words? A: its been a while since weve gone out, we should go on a date again tonight

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

Once Ace submits the form, he tells you to read his answers already, almost as if he's expecting you to speedrun through them.

You're totally free to make fun of him back for the things he typed out—he can try to complain or whine, even retaliate whatever you say, but the banter and playful arguing makes things more fun for him. He likes any and all of your attention, you know it as well as he does.

If you sent the form to anyone else, he asks if he can read their answers as well. He won't budge if you'd rather keep it private because the knowledge of him being the final choice bloats his head just fine, but wouldn't it be more fun to laugh at those who, to quote, "fumbled the bag" when it came to you?

(And, well, you can listen to him agree with the nice things they wrote about you, because he knows first hand just how lovable you really are and how lucky he really is to be with you)

When you get to the last question, he's grinning to himself—even without the camera turned on, you can just hear him smiling, like he knows that you're rolling your eyes.

Whatever, you can both share your sweet nothings in person, when the both of you get somewhere more comfortable to be more vulnerable with each other.

"So, you up for a date some time tonight? My treat!"

character: DEUCE SPADE premise/trope: Deuce getting the form from someone he's highly admired for years

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

He doesn't answer you for a few minutes, even though it's considered rude to just view your message. You can see that he's viewed your message, for sevens' sake! Still, you send one final message telling him to take his time with answering—Deuce was probably panicking or overreacting behind the screens.

He was. He gets the message while he's at work, and he has to try very hard to swallow his shout—it would be bad if he alarmed his co-workers, after all!

Tries to answer—both your message and your form—during his break, but decides that he needs far more time than his work break would allow, so he tries to focus on his job until he can go home.

His hands hover over the keyboard, and he reads the things he types out over and over again just to make sure he doesn't have any typos. If he's made you wait this long, he'll at least try to have good spelling!

DEUCE : are you sure you sent this to the right person?

Deuce has a bit of a hard time grasping that you could even have a crush on him—he's harbored a huge crush on you for YEARS, an admiration turned romantic affection that he's been, unfortunately, made fun of for his whole NRC career.

(His friends made fun of him for being such a coward, but confessing seemed so out of the question years ago! He had to focus on becoming an honor student, and you were just so...???)

When you reassure him that, yes, you did mean to send it to him, he replies that he'll answer it A.S.A.P! The sudden vigor gives you whiplash, and out of fear of formality you have to tell him that he can be as honest as possible.

It takes Deuce an hour at least to send in his answers, but when you look them over later you'll find that although he's trying to be polite and is clearly holding back (it's alright, you can have a proper talk about this some other time), his answers are genuine and his sweetness shines through.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

Q: How do we know each other? A: We both went to NRC and we shared a few classes, then we became friends

Q: Before this, did you know I liked you? A: No?! Not at all?! I mean I knew you liked me as a friend, because we were friends, but like-like? Like as a crush? I mean Ace and a few other people teased me about you liking me back then but I always thought it was a joke because you know? You’re you???

Q: Did you ever like me back? A: I didn’t think I would say it this way but yes?! Of course? I would be blind not to!

Q: If yes, how long did the crush last? A: [ticks the boxes: 3+ years, other] Um am I supposed to answer 3+ if it's ongoing...?

Q: If you liked me, why didn't you tell me? A: There were two main reasons… first I never thought I could have a chance with you, I didn’t want to ruin anything, second is just that I wanted to grow first into a better student and person, so I didn’t think I was ready to date either.

Q: What do you like most about me? A: Do I say just one thing…? It’s kinda hard to choose, and this is super embarrassing, you know. I guess I like that you never look down on me for my past and the fact that I’m still… not very cool. Even though you tell me I am. I like that you try to help me in whatever way you can, and I like that you’re always one of the first people to defend me when a bunch of jerks feel like causing trouble. And when you ran into my mom that one time, you told her really nice things about me (she told me even though you told her not to, sorry!) and I ended up liking you even more… I just find you reliable and respectable and I’ve always wanted to catch up to you since you were (are?) so out of my league?

Q: Could you imagine yourself dating me? A: Absolutely

Q: Thank you for answering! Sorry if this is awkward. Anything else to add? A: Wait can you tell me how long you liked me for? And a few other things I kind of want an explanation :’) Should I send a form too or do I just DM you?

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

Aside from wanting some explanations (as much as you're willing to give), honestly, Deuce is a little distraught (okay, more than a little—the crush had never really disappeared even after graduation). He genuinely thinks he lost his chance with you. After all, the title was in the past tense!

No he didn't lose his chance, but he's gearing himself up to just accept that you saw something good in him to the point that you once liked him—that, in a way, gives him a sense of happiness.

Maybe you're a mind reader, or maybe you're just good at detecting Deuce's tone from his answers and later messages, because you let him know that you're very much still into him, and if he still is then maybe he's willing to give the both of you a shot...?

At that point Deuce is very much glad to be at home because he's grinning ear to ear, face flushed like the color of his alma mater dorm. He feels like those teenage girls from those movies he watched with his mom on occasion—the ones who got butterflies in their stomach.

It's the fastest he texts back yet, sending you a stream of messages that all form the answer of a resounding YES.

Yes, he does call his mom later that night and tells her that he has a date coming soon. His mom always did wonder if he'd ever find a significant other amidst his busy career.

(His mother teases him a bit, but as embarrassing as it is to be teased like he was still a high schooler, his happiness overthrows it)

DEUCE : HUH?? OF COURSE I WANT TO GO ON A DTEA WITH YOU?? DEUCE : *DATE sorry I got excited. obviously, duh.., wow i'm seriously still not very cool, huh DEUCE : so... no pressure but when are you free to meet up?

character: JACK HOWL premise/trope: two best friends with very obvious mutual pining but have never said a word about their feelings, and now they live far apart. you send the form to Jack for closure (or resolution)

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

He wants to ask if this is a joke (even though the form title said it was not a prank), but refrains from sending in what he initially typed out. If you were serious, and he thinks you are, then it wouldn't be right for him to doubt or question your feelings.

It's going to take him a while to actually fully process the form title and form description alone, but he lets you know that he's not ignoring you or anything, he just needs a hot minute

JACK : Don't worry, I'm not ignoring you, but I need a moment. By the way, do you really want me to answer the form? Or do you want to just... call.

For one reason or another, perhaps you wanting to gauge his own interest in you, or perhaps you needing some time before properly having that conversation with him, you request he answer the form first.

Jack doesn't exactly like it when people beat around the bush, but he knows it must have taken a lot of courage out of you to confess to him. Braver than him, really, who never had the strength to let you know what he felt for you, feelings that were apparently required all this time.

Later, Jack would laugh to himself (or with you) at how silly the both of you were, wallowing in angst over unrequited love that was never actually unrequited.

A part of Jack does wish he knew earlier, maybe the both of you could have been dating all this time, but perhaps this was the timing that was meant for him and you... not that Jack knew anything about destiny or fate.

His answers are serious, but not cold, not completely. Warmth lingers, mostly from you imagining him reading the words to you, imagining his expressions as he does so.

His answers are also quite honest, although you can picture him getting somewhat embarrassed over how vulnerable he's being. Maybe typing things out instead of immediately saying them verbally helps him be less shy and awkward about this, too.

And when you read them, you can easily identify his fondness and affection for you, the one he's always possessed. Really, it's a wonder that it took him spelling out his feelings for you to realize how much he adores you.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

Q: did u ever realize i more than liked you? A: There were a few times where I really thought you might have liked me back, mostly by watching your body language, or the things my seniors (Leona and Ruggie) pointed out, but the “signs” felt so natural that I just pushed it aside.

Q: did u ever have feelings for me too? A: Let me say something first: why are you immediately assuming that I don’t have the same feelings for you? Like you’re expecting me to reject you? Really, you’re so… anyway. For the record, it’s not “did”, it’s “do”, I do have feelings for you, since we were students in NRC. That hasn’t changed even after we left and went our separate ways. And I don’t want to assume, and since I checked the other questions and you didn’t ask… I’ve probably liked you for just as long. Look, I know I’m actually a lot more dense than I thought I would be, but I didn’t think you would be, too.

Q: did you ever want to date me? A: I did, and I still do.

Q: if i said i still have feelings for you, and that i miss you, how would you feel? A: I would say I’m the same, and that I wish we lived nearer each other so I could see you right now, and tell you these things in person instead of a form.

Q: jack when’s ur next vacation/free day :( A: No vacation until next month, but I can free up my Sat-Sun if you want?

Q: what things do you like about me A: Everything? Is that bad to say? Even though I tried to push you aw[a]y at first, you still tried to be my friend, and then we got closer and closer. You appreciate my space, but you also keep me company. I’m used to being alone, but I’m glad that I wasn’t because you were always around. I think it would be easier to say what I don’t like about you, it’ll take less time.

Q: umm ive been asking so much, do u have any questions for me? A: A few, though I can ask the rest later 1) Is there a certain type of place you would want to visit any time soon? 2) Is there anything you want from my hometown? 3) Just making sure, you’re still single, right? 4) Do you really want to stop liking me?

Q: jackkk i really miss you :((( huhuhu A: i miss you too, more than i let you know. im sorry i rarely tell you that

Q: sorry im a mess, do u wanna add smth A: please call me when you’re done reading this (or when you can)

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

It's difficult for Jack to proceed with the rest of his day, especially when you tell him you're going to read his response, when you haven't called him yet.

Thankfully you don't make him wait for too long, although Jack was willing to wait if you had other urgent matters to attend to, or if you just needed more time to compose your thoughts.

Once in call, Jack takes the initiative to steer the conversation to the topic at hand—your feelings for him, his feelings for you, and what that meant for your relationship going forward.

The both of you lived quite a ways apart, and while that wasn't necessarily ideal (Jack desperately wanted to see you and hold you in his arms right now), he was sure he had the ability to make it work with you, as long as you were willing to do the same.

Weekend trips to see each other, perhaps moving closer to each other and moving in together in the future, those weren't out of the question.

There were certain topics that could always be decided on later, and he lets you know as much; he just needed to call you now so he could tell you what he's always wanted to for years.

"Hey, don't get over me just yet, not when I've been wanting to see you again."

character: EPEL FELMIER premise/trope: you have been flirting with Epel for years, even though the two of you are merely (unfortunately for you AND him) best friends. you send the form for fun, and get the retaliation you very well deserve

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

Seconds after sending the form, you're immediately laughing it off, launching excuses and reasons as to why you sent one (and made a form to begin with). In fact, even before you sent the link, you were already building it up to be "just another one of your flirtations" instead of what it really is

Epel loves you, really (and wow did it take him a while... and a whole bunch of people pointing out his feelings to actually realize it wasn't just the friendly kind of love), but he's very tired of... whatever was going on with the both of you

It's cute when you flirt with him to be honest, even though it's embarrassing and downright flustering more than half the time (probably the thing stopping him from ever trying to do the same unto you), but it always felt... nice. Even if he did lose his shit one too many times.

It'd feel even better if the both of you were actually dating, though

He doesn't think you've been flirting with him as a joke or anything, he'd definitely would've put a stop to it otherwise, but he still wants his feelings to be taken more seriously, and for you to consider that he is very capable of liking you back, and for you to actually give him a say

Well, this form would be a good chance for that, right?

His voice message is enough to make you nervous, the incoherent keyboard smash you sent right after is proof of it

"Hehe, just give me a few minutes, I'mma answer it properly!"

Epel tries to be smooth but his answers have some awkwardness to them, clearly attempting to emulate you and how you enjoy talking to him, but the attempts at flirting are not lost on you.

Still, you can just tell that it isn't just payback—he's very serious about the things he's writing, even with the quips and joking responses to your questions here and there.

It's his sheer honesty though, the way he writes like he just spills his feelings for you all over the keyboard without regard for any proper form, that ends up the most romantic and impactful.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

Q: hypotheticallyyyy, would u like me back A: Why would you need hypotheticals when I DO like you back? (Also, didn't you say you "hypothetically" loved me? Why is it "like" now?)

Q: *shakes 8ball* would u date me if ever A: The following is ticked: - signs point to yes - it is decidedly so - without a doubt - yes - definitely - outlook good - most likely - other: My sources (my heart) says yes

Q: so, did u know ur the apple of my eye A: You're so silly why am I even into vou..? Right, it's because l'm apple-solutely a fool for you.

Q: epel why are u still here TT A: WellI, if you want me to answer this seriously, it's because I'm getting impatient. I like/love you, you feel the same, we kind of act like we're dating half the time… actually a lot of people already think we're meant to be, so why aren't we dating yet? it's driving me crazy honestly, sometimes i think i'll just kiss you to shut you up whenever you think up some lame pickup line or when you want to hold my hand

Q: when'd ya realize u LOVED me <3- delulu A: Vil pointed out that I didn't bite your head off when you called me cute

Q: whats ur favorite moment with me <3 A: When we went to my hometown w/ the rest of our schoolmates, and then we separated from our group so I could give you a personal tour of my home. You joked that you would get lost and that we were on a date so you needed me to hold your hand, maybe u did want to hold hands but I also knew your hands were cold be SOMEONE forgot their gloves. We held hands the whole tour, and be people recognize me everyone assumed we were dating… but you didn't care if people thought (realized) you loved me, as long I never found out.. and because I was dense, I didn't until I recalled that day again

Q: not to fish for compliments BUT i will. list EVERTHING you like about me <3 A: 1) everything ;) INCLUDING your flirting, believe it or not 2) the way you can tease me and poke fun at me w/o belittling me 3) when you call me "cute" it makes me feel the same as when u call me "cool" 4) the way u enable+join me in, as our friends would say, ; "being chaotic good"

Q: what do you hate about me hehehe A: i hate that ur single and not dating me yet

Q: why did you finish this form epel A: because i want to raise apple trees and make jam with you in the future

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

The both of you have always been the type to joke with one another. It's not that neither of you take to having serious conversations, but it's always been about things you wanted to vent about, or Epel's thoughts on his appearance and femininity, or a few other things the both of you felt like bringing up. Never a love life.

(You have asked him if he was in a relationship a few times since graduation, likely to see if you had to steer clear and fully give up on him. He's guilty to asking the same questions.)

For someone who flirted with him a lot, you never brought it up seriously before. Not since the incident with the ghost bride.

Of course, he knows he could have stepped up much earlier, that the both of you could have been dating even back in NRC, but perhaps he wanted to wait (until he eventually became impatient), or he needed reassurance or a sign.

Epel's not very sure, and he doesn't think there's one definite reason, but that's besides the point. He finally got to tell you his feelings, and even though you've more than hinted that you feel the same, he wants to hear it from you this time, without you taking it back or pushing it as a joke it never was.

He has his moments of insecurity, too many to count especially in the past, but when he rings you on the phone and you pick up immediately, he's full of confidence, grinning in anticipation of what's to come.

"So, if I said I loved you, too, what would'ya think about it?"

character: SEBEK ZIGVOLT premise/trope: pretending the form you're making him answer is a regular survey you need participants for

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

If asked, you pretended it was a requisite you desperately needed participants for because Sebek would definitely take some time off his ever busy schedule to help a friend out. He gets it, getting participants is difficult! And because he's such a good friend, obviously he'll take some time out of his day to answer your survey!

Asks if he should send the form to Malleus and Lilia too but you absolutely refuse. You cite that they've exceeded the maximum age range, an answer Sebek readily accepts. An age range, how diligent of you to put that into consideration!

You can expect him to answer your form as soon as he's able to, and he tells you as much!

SEBEK : What an odd research topic. I never knew this was one of your interests! Still, I applaud you for your dedication and for your interest in studying fae; I shall aid you in your study! And if you have anything more to ask, feel free to call me any time!

He is... more than confused when he goes over the questions. It's always important to read all the questions before answering a test, so he employs the same tactic when he looks at the survey. He's not sure if he regrets it, but his throat certainly hates him for it—choking on nothing but his own spit.

His instincts tell him to message you IMMEDIATELY, face flushed at the idea of you playing a joke, making a fool out of him, but then... he stops himself from doing so.

You're clearly teasing him, yes, but all the same he's curious about your motives, about how you would react to his answers, about the answers you want to get out of him... or anyone else. Did you send the form to anyone else? What if you were getting answers from other people?

Oddly enough, what motivates him to answer instead of interrogating you about the form is the idea of someone else sending in the form before him. He can't have that! He had to show that he was your most reliable friend, the one you could count on if you really needed help.

Most of his answers are predictably... Sebek, loud even in text, honest in his confusion and feelings. Well, in the ones you allow him to type anyway. Probably your fault with your choice of questions. Still, it's enough to reassure you of his feelings, that you weren't just delusional and seeing things.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

Q: When you see a picture of me, what emotions are you likely to feel? A: The following is ticked: - Happy, Glad, Pleased - Shy, Nervous, Hesitant - Ecstatic, Excited, Motivated - Delighted, Charmed, Exhilarated - other: You don’t have a study at ALL, do you? How brave to fool me like this!

Q: What traits do you associate with me? A: The following is ticked: - charming - bewitching - endearing - lovable - good-looking - fascinating - other: If you’re going to list everything, why even give the option for other?

Q: With this vague scale, how would you rate your feelings for me? A: [Sebek selects the choice with the highest rank]

Q: How compatible do you think you are with me on a scale of… on a scale? A: [Sebek selects the choice with the highest rank]

Q: If I asked you on a date, how likely are you to say yes A: [Sebek selects the choice with the highest rank]

Q: How sure are you of the extent of your feelings for me A: [Sebek selects the choice with the highest rank]

[ SECTION BREAK / NOT A QUESTION ] Not a question but based on my pre-existing research, it seems our feelings are quite similar! Just sharing!

Q: Hi, I will finally allow you to rant away now :) Thanks for answering this! A: This was not only the most ridiculous test/survey I have taken in my LIFE, but also the most DIFFICULT. The way I’m not allowed to explain myself, well, expect that I will most CERTAINLY be explaining myself at a later date. It has to be on a later date because WHY DID YOU PUT A CHRACTER LIMIT ON THI

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

Are all humans so... odd and creative when it comes to expressing their feelings? Was this an expression of your feelings? Was this you wanting to court him, or perhaps asking him to court you?!

Sebek's thoughts are all over the place, but they bring out the feelings he thought had died down after graduation. Whatever charm you had placed on him had never worn off, remaining even when you weren't in his presence.

Before typing out his (very lengthy) paragraph of a text message, a paragraph more suited for an email, really, Sebek thinks of two things.

First, that Briar Valley needs better cell reception—a bunch of your text messages just came in, asking if he was answering the form, or if he was busy and got called on to do something, or if he was plain ignoring you.

(Well, by your texts, he at least knows he's the only one you've sent the form to. That gives him far too much pride than it should)

Second, that he wasn't in Briar Valley right now (the younger him never would have thought of thinking such a thing), or that you were in Briar Valley right now, so he could go up to see you and express his feelings most appropriately.

He supposes a text will do for now. A nicely worded text, if he can't send a letter (he could, but it would take too long). He can just... do something more romantic later.

SEBEK : DEAREST HUMAN! Even with our time apart, you are still as confounding and befuddling and CONFUSING as ever, you and your unusual ways of showing what I presume to be your affections for me, or at the very least signaling your interest, gathering information to analyze my own interest levels! Admittedly your attempt was, for the lack of a better way to phrase it, lacking good prose, unpoetic, and extremely weird, but nevertheless your feelings have reached me. Somehow, you have managed to render me speechless (for a few minutes), and you, in spite of your general lack of romanticism, continue to set my heart ablaze. With that said, even though I find your methods cowardly, I accept your advances, but I ask we hold off from pursuing anything until I can tell you in person. That is to say, I want for us to meet again.

[ BONUS ! ]

character: ORTHO SHROUD (& IDIA SHROUD) premise/trope: sending a form to your crush's younger brother, Ortho, mostly because you don't want to commit to confessing to Idia yet

HOW HE REACTS WHEN YOU SEND THE FORM LINK

He already knew you had feelings for his brother, but there's a different type of happiness in knowing you're willing to admit it (at least to him, if not yet Idia)

It's one thing to like his brother, and it's another thing to be able to say it. From his observations (of you, of others, and the games his brother played) and research (on online forums... and also the games his brother played), there was that probability that you would be ashamed of yourself for liking Idia, his wonderful but flawed brother. He's glad you don't seem to think that way.

That aside, he thinks you sending him the form is fun! He's more than willing to answer anything you want to know (whether it's just about him or if it's something to help you get closer to his brother)

Plus, he got called your BFF! :D

ORTHO : Your secret is safe with me! Don't worry q(≧▽≦q) My metaphorical lips are sealed!

When it comes to answering, he's straight to the point but cute, even when he says things that could come off as burns towards you or his brother. Most of all, it's very clear that he not only adores his brother, but that he cares for you, too.

HOW HE ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

Q: hi ortho! first of all, i missed youuu 💙 A: I missed you too! I haven’t seen you since graduation ＞︿＜

Q: so since i’m sure you know i like idia, when/how did you realize? A: I was walking with you to class one day when your heart rate increased! I was really scared that something had happened to you ::>_<:: I ran a few tests out of concern, even though you were confused about why I wanted to do that. Everything was normal when I checked it, but when I suggested my brother help investigate the anomaly your heart rate rose again!

Q: just making sure, do you think idia has a clue that i like him A: Oh, absolutely! He… just kidding! Not at all! I never told him, even though I wanted to sometimes, but even if I did I don’t think he would belive me! My brother is not dense, he gets flustered by you a lot, but I think he’s too in denial that it’s possible you like him!

Q: do you think idia likes me too A: That’s a secret! Please confess to my brother first, or wait for him to confess!

Q: its okay with u if i dated him, right? A: I approve! I like you very much o(^.^)o Me and Idia always have fun with you!

Q: serious question do you think idia would open to dating right now? A: Hmmm I think it’s better that you talk to him about it! I know the both of you can come to an agreement that you’ll both be happy with ( ˇ v ˇ )

Q: aside from the fact that you love your brother and that you like me, why do you think we’re good for one another? A: I have prepared multiple answers for this question! [ 1 ] Because you like him! [ 2 ] Because you like me, too! ヾ(•ω•`)o [ 3 ] Because you understand and accept Idia without forcing him to change. [ 4 ] Because you know when Idia wants space and when he wants to hang out with you. [ 5 ] Because you smile brightly around him and he smiles brightly around you. Idia is happier seeing you than seeing Gakemo live, or getting an SSR!

Q: do u have any tips for meee A: Just be yourself! ヾ(≧ ▽ ≦)ゝ

Q: if i get rejected by idia, are you still down to be my little brother? hihi A: I don’t want to tell you the probabilities of anything, but you should have more faith in yourself! And of course! o((>ω< ))o

AFTER HE ANSWERS THE FORM

The chances are, either he gives you enough assurance to confess to Idia in the coming days/weeks, or he convinces you to wait it out when the time is right—dating sims usually had confession scenes at very specific and special locations, right? Maybe you had to wait for a sign.

Either way, it's hard not to believe you have a chance when Ortho tells you—not because of his godly skills (seriously, what kind of genius is Idia?) in analyzing data and making predictions based on probabilities, but because Ortho's the one who knows him best, who's always going to be there when he needs it.

How can you not trust him when he implies (implies, only so he won't take the chance from his brother to confess to you properly) that his brother might just have a crush on you, too?

After a while, the conversation divulges from Idia to simply catching up with Ortho, asking him how he's been doing, setting up a day where the both of you could play a few online games together (with and without Idia), but his sweet messages remain in your head all day.

ORTHO : Even though I want you to date my brother as soon as possible (please I promise the probability of him liking you back is much higher than you think!), I promise I won't interfere, so take your time! ORTHO : Even without dating him, I already see you as my other big sibling anyway \^o^/

masterlist | end notes

[ 1 ] made this in 2 days because i was just really tired from school and wanted a break, but wanted something a little less taxing brain power wise than a one-shot. i've had this idea in my head for a few months now so i thought i would finally write it out!

[ 2 ] figuring out how someone would type is a struggle, so i had to make guesses based on how they write the valentine letters + voice lines, then take some liberties based on their relationship dynamic with the reader + the tone of the premise

[ 3 ] epel: "because I want to raise apple trees and make jam with you in the future", referencing one his suitor suit (the groom outfit, i forgot what it's called in EN) voice lines

[ 4 ] speaking of epel, i asked for ideas basically on what dynamics people liked with him. unfortunately i couldn't employ EVERY idea, i mostly went with @ / syl-lithy 's with a dash of everyone elses. ig ill just have to use the other dynamics in some other work for epel 😌

[glitterincandles]

hi hi!!!! i love your blog smmm!!! if you're still accepting requests, i was wondering if you could do allan (smiling friends) x talkative/very social! reader headcanons? :3

do you think he'd be jealous because his crush/partner has a large social circle or he'd just go along with it?

hii! i'm sorry it took so long for me to respond to this (college stresses me out soo bad) but i finally have enough free time! also i made the formatting quite strange i hope it doesn't ruin anything

allan x talkative/very social! reader :･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

socially

allan definitely leans more towards the jealous side at first

since he's dating you/committed to you, there's a high percent chance that he's completely devoted to you and will do a lot to maintain your relationship even if it means bailing on his coworkers

if he sees you interacting with other people or friends normally, it's fine

^ the least he'll do is lean in and stalk the conversation just to make sure he doesn't hear what he doesn't wanna hear

^^ it is not in a toxic way thankfully he just wants to make sure you aren't being flirty or sharing an embarrassing story about him (becausehe'sinsecure) (and awfully suspicious abt others)

and he doesn't really trust people who are too social/talkative and out there so this relationship would be a learning experience for him

later on after observing the people you're talking to long enough, he develops the habit of randomly jumping into your conversations with people if he doesn't like what he is hearing

person a: hey actually i think nirvana is lame

allan, out of nowhere, for no damn reason: aCTually i think nirvana is kewll and maybe if u had a brain u would think the same thINg

any flirtatious comment said by others also gets shut down. immediately.

^ this doesn't usually apply to compliments besides those that are like very clearly and very obviously attempts to flirt

^^ "ur hair smells soooo good" gtfo

as time goes on and as he learns more and more about your large social circle, his jealous tendencies will definitely diminish for the better

he'll learn to appreciate that you are able to connect with so many different people at once and have a soft spot for it since he really isn't the type to be that way

he'll definitely loosen up more and may even willingly tag along to any event you want to go to with them

^ it'll definitely take a while though

talkative..ly

as for the talkative side of his partner, he'll definitely get great pleasure out of you just talking about anything (more than most would expect)

he isn't much of a talker in general so he appreciates listening to someone who's passionate and always has something to say (especially you) (very specifically made an exception just for you)

he'll let you go on for hours and he'll reply when he has wiggle room too, even if his tone sounds a little hostile, he still enjoys chatting with you

i genuinely don't think he'll hate it at all i think he'll find it pretty cute tbh

•☽──── ✧⋆⋅☆⋅⋆✧ ────☾•

[suzukiblu]

currently having EMOTIONS abt your 'Billy adopts kon and it goes p good actually'. Billy's there just like oh man I'm rambling they're gonna think I'm so lame...meanwhile I as a reader (and presumably also Kon and possibly the other characters present??) are actually going 'oh my god. oh my god he's known Kon for like one singular minute and already arranged a flat according to his best predictions of Kon's needs/wants, gave Kon FIRST PICK OF BEDROOM, and has freely offered to learn how to cook AND how to drive for the sole purpose of taking better care of Kon'. like. oh my god. oh my god. Billy is so precious and I want to give him a hug. I hope Kon isn't too overwhelmed or suspicious due to Billy's enthusiasm tho lmao. (pls could there be..more? more Billy adopts kon, if possible?) anyway I love ur writing. thank you. idk how to ask from a sidelong but this is tryingahandinholdingapen btw :D

I gotchu, friend, lol. @tryingahandinholdingapen But yeah I love a good unreliable narrator, one way or the other it's just so fun peppering in all the bits of "the actual situation that the narrator is oblivious to", hahaha.

Rich people are weird, Billy decides, then sets the swiss rolls and zebra cakes and rest of the strawberry shortcakes on the counter in case Kid Flash is still hungry or Superboy wants any of them and closes the pantry. Batman’s just doing his best, he guesses. Though Billy hopes he knows how to coupon, if he’s always buying brand-name. 

Well, he’s Batman. It’d be weirder if he didn’t know how to coupon, Billy figures.

It looks like Superboy ate all of his snack cake while Billy and Kid Flash were in the pantry, at least, which Billy hopes means he liked it. He doesn’t know how much real food Superboy’s had, but Batman’d said he should be fine eating solid stuff and not just whatever he’d been getting in his cloning pod. Though Billy’d still asked if they could get some bottled smoothies and protein shakes and stuff like that to keep in the fridge, just in case. He figured those might be easier for him to eat and digest, if it came up. Or like, maybe appeal to him more, if nothing else? 

Billy has no idea, honestly, he’s just doing his best here. The wisdom of Solomon is pretty useful but it’s not really, like, that much of a parenting guide. 

He is not going to cut Superboy in half. Like, ever. Like he understands the idea of that story but also it is an insane and incredibly freaky story and he is just not invoking it, ever. Just no way.

“If it’s alright, Captain, we should get going. We’ve got a bit of a drive to get home,” Mrs. West says, then sighs as Kid Flash empties the boxes of swiss rolls and zebra cakes in lightning-fast succession, though he leaves the strawberry shortcakes alone. Billy checks in the fridge and offers him a couple of the more filling smoothies–peanut butter and banana should be more filling, anyway, even with a speedster’s appetite. He steals those from convenience stores sometimes, when he can. He can’t be Captain Marvel all the time. 

Well–maybe he could, he guesses. But he does miss being himself, sometimes.

“Thanks, man,” Kid Flash says eagerly, then immediately shotguns both smoothies. 

“Wally,” Mr. West says in exasperation as Mrs. West sighs again. “Don’t eat Captain Marvel out of house and home.” 

“It’s okay, we’ve got lots of food!” Billy promises cheerfully. “I work with Flash, I know how hungry he gets. I bet it’s way worse when you still have growth spurts to get through.” 

“It is so much worse,” Kid Flash mutters vehemently, eyeing the empty smoothie bottles in his hands accusingly. Billy gets him another peanut butter banana one on principle. He really doesn’t want Kid Flash to be that hungry. It’s . . . not a good feeling. 

“We appreciate it, Captain, really, but we’ve got snacks and a cooler in the car,” Mrs. West says. 

“Oh, good,” Billy says, relieved. Mr. and Mrs. West both give him strange, inscrutable looks, then glance back to Superboy. Billy wonders if he likes peanut butter banana smoothies. Though if he liked the snack cakes, there’s strawberry banana ones too, so that might be better? And strawberry kiwi, but that’s probably less filling. “Superboy, do you want a smoothie too?” 

“No,” Superboy says. Billy pauses again, then gets him a strawberry banana one and tosses it over. Superboy catches it, eyes it, and then opens it and takes a sip.

Okay, Billy thinks he’s getting the hang of this. But also they should probably talk about how “no” needs to actually mean “no”. Like, for Superboy he’s sure it’s just like that phase when toddlers want to say “no” to everything no matter what, but it’s still important for him to understand. Billy doesn’t want to accidentally upset him or overstep because Superboy doesn’t know how to really say “no” to something.

Yeah, they definitely need to talk about that, he decides.

[rinstrumental]

ellie gf headcanons

# modern au. im in luv with her. this is so long oh my god its an illness

did karate from 1st grade all the way up to high school and basically considers herself your bodyguard

immediately offers you her hoodie without a second thought when you show the slightest signs of being cold. she lets you keep it too, of course. what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t ???!!!!

she needs either your hands on her or her hands on you at all times. sosososo touchy and BIG on pda her kisses are inescapable. constantly has an arm around you or resting on your waist… the whole world needs to know. she’s actually insufferable i’m sorry but in the most endearing way ever how can you resist

“would you still love me if i was a ____???” she wants a serious answer too

genuinely thinks ur the prettiest person alive. which is kind of the bare minimum but she worships you truly

happy with any sort of date as long as it’s with you. fancy dinner? this is the only reason she keeps a suit and tie. staying in? what movie do you want, babe? running errands? she’s already waiting for you in the car!!!

speaking of cars she drives an old station wagon which used to be joel’s. ellie used to moan about how lame it was until you said that the back was perfect for sitting together during camping or stargazing…. and other activities too ;) wink wonk

gets flustered when she makes you flustered because you’re telling her that SHE did that?? she made u nervous??? shit man now shes blushing too

her love language is gifts she loves to spoil you with your favourite snacks and soft toys and even homemade gifts. she just wants you to see her in your room and have her on your mind as much as you’re in hers!!

it’s no secret that she’s an artist and it’s also no secret that her favourite subject to draw is youuu!!! her favourite thing to do is just have you sit across from her and draw what she sees

of course naturally that means she takes tons of pictures of you… to study for her drawings… and keep in her special photo album of you… and to look at when she misses you. Ofc

makes fun of you/teases you sometimes. she can be a mean bitch to other people but she would never actually hurt your feelings and you know that

ellie hates goodbyes. even if it’s after spending a full day together and you’re going to see her soon anyways… i just know she’s the kind of person who feels empty after hanging out with someone.

calls and texts about everything… and it’s always so cute :( she definitely has autocaps on

ellie: I drew you again!!

ellie: Hey babe I saw this funny bird it reminded me of u

ellie: I miss you so much. When can I see you again?

ellie: These cats r like us lol

keeps a pet gecko or something like that for sure. it’s you guys’ baby

her top two movie genres are horror and romance after that. the only reason romance is that high up is because it reminds her of you

does stupid romcom shit like hold a boombox outside your window. makes you mixtapes even though CDs are basically extinct (joel has a player thank god). corny pickup lines. asks you to be her valentine publicly. runs to your house in the rain. dances with you in said rain.

when she gets sick it’s like the end of the world omg… she needs u to be at her side 24/7 and hold her and keep her company and give her get well soon kisses, it’s essential to her recovery. doctors orders. he said it not her!

gets along so well with your friends and family. she does her research and takes this shit seriously! whatever it takes to make you happy because what’s better than watching your girlfriend get along with the people you love

she also takes her own family seriously - family time is important to her and she spends a lot of time with joel. it’s even better when you can join, some of her best memories are with the two of you

“i’m happy as long as you’re happy”

pet names galore. her personal favourite is just babe (classic) but when she likes others too (sweetheart, honey, darling etc she’s so cheesy it’s awful)

in conclusion she’s just a clingy sappy lesbian who’s absolutely head over heels for you. and you wouldn’t have it any other way <33

bonus: (these tweets that are so ellie)

[bambiilooloo]

HI I SAW UR DT17 RANT AND I AGREE SO HARD. i love gandra but i HATE fendra and the writers just genuinely did her so dirty (and im gonna say it. she was way more interesting as an antagonist). and re: gladstone and fethry, FUCKING YEAH. it makes me so fucking sad how fehtyr is treated in dt17 and the fact that its never properly acknowledged just makes it even worse :( THEY LEFT HIM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN FOR 4 YEARS???? ALONE??????? AND THEN GOT ANNOYED WHEN HE ASKED FOR THEIR COMPANY?!?!?! BE FR MAN!!!!! and while i'm on this topic, what ESPECIALLY stings is how donald dislikes both fethry and gladstone in '17. one of my fave things about the comics is the friendship between donald, fethry and gladstone. like sure, donald and gladstone have like a rivalry going on but they're still buddies at the end of the day!!! theyre FAMILY!!! and fethry is just straight up always pals with donald and gladstone. and yeah i feel like the absence of their friendship in '17 is such a missed opportunity espcially since we also have della in the show!!!! the cousin trio couldve upgraded to the cousin quartet but nooooo!!! anyway yeah the show's cast is too big. for a long-running comic series a cast of this size is fine because you can give each character a decent amount of spotlight, but for 3 seasons of an animated show it's less ideal

totally agree with you!!

this is also a badly structure rant

with fendra, u always know it's gonna become canon cuz it's a het ship that was introduced in one of the character's debut episode but the lack of build up is actually so lame. i like gandra and i like fenton but like their canon relationship just happens. and it's like oh i guess this is a thing now?

and we're expected to be a ll invested cuz gandra getting captured by FOWL and her working against them is supposed to be a plot point and cool i get what ur doing but also what? where is the build up?

and i liked her as a villain and she was actually an antagonist which is what makes her sudden flip so weird for me. we're welcoming her to be a part of our family!! um yea ok but she did help the guy that wants to end said family. she needs more screentime simple as.

sidenote: i also wish they focused on her hypocrisy more. 'i follow nobody' and she has worked for both mark beaks and FOWL. i get why and she has her reasons with needing the resources and stuff but that kind of hypocritical behavior in 'cool' ppl is smth i see a lot in ppl and i wish it was explored more. that's an interesting duality to her character.

and omg on gladstone and fethry. HOLY SHIT THEY DID THEM DIRTY. THEY ARE BARELY IN THE SHOW AND IT MAKES ME SAD.

yea i haven't seen the og show but have read the comics and i love them. they're really funny and don's dynamic with his cousins is great!! i hate the simplistic, actual hatred they gave donald towards gladstone and gladstone's characterisation makes a lot of ppl hate him - and i get why but i don't. and i hate that cuz he's a really fun, oringinal idea with the luck motif and they don't do anything substantial with him!!

and do not get me started on fethry. i love dt17 donald but when ppl call him the unproblematic one, i point to his treatment of fethry. dt17 fethry did NOTHING wrong and they LEFT HIM THE OCEAN I HATE THAT SO MUCH. AND THE ONES THAT LEARN THE LESSON ON ACCEPTANCE ARE THE CHILDREN NOT THE GUY HE GREW UP WITH AND THE OLD FUCK THAT SHOULD'VE KNOW BETTER

those two barely feel like family to the main characters and their inclusion in the picture in moonvasion is cute i wont lie. but i wih i'd seen more of it. like scrooge straight up HATES gladstone and fethry, why are those two included in his group of kids? i like that they are and i want them there but there is no build up.

they're supposed to be the huey and louie of the cousins but donald hates them? they're not a reference to the triplets like they were intending, and the intention makes sense and i like the idea, they're JUST there. honestly gladstone and fethry can be seen as louie and huey if they didn't have a good relationship with their family. i think that's interesting too.

and i just wanna say i get why ppl dislike dt17 gladstone but i like him because 1) i think he's wasted potentional in the show 2) i like gladstone in general in the duckverse. his whole luck concept is fun and he's like a preppy kuzco. and 3) he has the mr peanut butter voice and that's realy funny to me

and finally, yea the cast size is insanely big and it feels like there's a new character every episode and like ik why. we wanna see new interprtations but like, they did not have enough time to give all of the characters enough screentime.

[lottiecrabie]

answering asks 💌

while i am here let me catch up on my asks😭 making a general post as to not overwhelm the tl with my collarbones

and just like jesus….. she died again three days later

i NEED to be in a quirky situational comedy with host adam STAT omg. want to be back to back crossed arms and he rolls his eyes playfully at me at the end of our generic. nothing sexual, just his suffering and misery played off for laughs from our live audience

you are unfortunately begging the wrong tree as i am both retired and extremely NOT british. famously placing all my fics in america cos i don’t know what’s going on overseas. matty forever an immigrant in the crabieverse fr

stop i’m sorry 😭😭 i hope it’s not sending too many war flashbacks lmao. at least delilah is a delight and has done nothing wrong and is generally regarded as deserving better so ur truly the person with the moral highground in this story❤️

(as a galatea i genuinely had not considered people might relate to this story from the other angle lmao)

it haunts me too friend. literally as it was based on my real life 😭 lottiecrabie Will be farming her inner turmoils for content ☝️☝️ i wish i had finished it because i genuinely love the beginning as well, but it might be for the best since i don’t know how i would face my childhood friend after that lol

there are pfms references everywhere for those with the eyes to see

sooo true. he’s the most perfect lame loser angel<333

i see it….. he definitely has not picked up one social clue in his life

sorry i took him out back and shot him

PLSSS she rly just needs to be in pink and it’s perfect

this is how i want to be remembered❤️

yes. it’s also me in your closet speaking in tongues btw. if you want to see sims pictures i’d love to see them !!

found in some creek wailing…. matty makes rock covers of hozier songs lol

i will not go back on my fic grind But i might make another blurb if the whim takes me 🙆‍♀️

this is how the lottiecrabie pipeline goes actually

this i…. you’ve found me 😣

omg is the fairy village okay how are they surviving the no birth blight 😭 this aging ass fairy population damn (thank u though ily)

YASSS im so happy for you!!! its really what the main virgins anonymous advice has always been: someone you trust and lube lol

[solaarbeeam]

Walking in public with Nishinoya Yuu is odd to the outside perspective for two reasons.

One, you’re way taller than him. Two, the style of dressing was completely different.

Nishinoya, is clad in a pair of baggy jeans, beat up high tops, a hoodie that reads ‘Guardian Deity’ on the back that the Karasuno First Years (Yachi included) had gotten for his birthday, and black headphones around his neck.

You, on the other hand, completely contrast the outfit he’s wearing, and it’s making people stare. It’s totally uncomfortable.

“Meh, let them stare. They’re just made they saw someone totally awesome wearing better clothes than them and got jealous!” He jumps up and down, which gets a chuckle out of you.

- If we’re going to be honest here, Noya is totally the kind of person to be peeved about people taller than him. He literally gets pissed when someone gets at him for his height.

- Of course, what he doesn’t have in height, he makes up for it in two ways. One, volleyball, and two, being in a relationship with you.

- The first thing that he said when he saw you for the first time, was “God fucking damn.”

- Now, he’s seen some pretty tall people in his lifetime. His own kouhai being some of them, and Amanai, Tanaka’s childhood friend.

- But you were different.

- He’s seen you in the hallways of Karasuno before. Most people just know you as ‘that one kid who doesn’t really wear the uniform’, and they aren’t wrong in that sentiment, but not completely right either.

- All you did was style the uniform to fit your style more. He was captured by the look.

- And you were tall. Way taller than he was. Somehow, that just drove him further towards you.

- He was worried of coming off as weird, especially with his height. Even if he’s tried his best to have people ignore his height for the person he actually is, it’s not going to stop people from drawing their own conclusions.

- Until you, naturally.

- He got intimidated by your style of choice, to the graphics on your shirt to the chains and clips, shit, he had no idea what to do.

- He didn’t want you to think he was lame or anything, so he actually tried to start dressing like you. Key word being tried.

- He failed miserably. You on the other hand, simply laughed at his antics and decided that you’d give him a try.

- If we’re going to be honest, Noya was indeed a little miffed about having an S/O that was taller than him. He can’t help it! However, he slowly but surely came to terms with it and now he simply doesn’t care.

- His S/O is like a giant model! You stand out from the others with how you dress! You look stunning, amazing, show stopping, and drop dead gorgeous! All Monster High slang intended! (Okay I’m sorry moving on-)

- During post-timeskip, his instagram follows go up by like 10K each day just because of you. Of course, he travels everywhere, and on the trips he takes you on, it’s like two million likes per post.

- All in all, pre and post timeskip Nishinoya Yuu loves his S/O, loves the way your style fits you, love how it contrasts to his, and anybody who wants to say otherwise can fight him.

- Also, please piggyback him places. He likes heights more than solid ground.

@kyoghurts

this was a request from kenji <33 i hope its to ur liking, if there’s anything I missed or something you wanna see i’ll make a pt 2