#uploading theories is always mildly terrifying

[lord-lunatic]

Ren 2.0

 After a midnight bath wit Rens playlist I went back to my old theories (back from December?!) and quickly came to the conclusion that these need some updating.

Here’s your update @vagueenthusiast @d20error

1. Alcatraz:

“Prison is home”

I still think this is about Rens house. We knew it was like a prison for him back then, now we know it was a straight up horror house.

Masses of animals, beasts, celestials, fiends, goblins,... all to break them and to change them. 

Ren was a part of a family and he also wasn’t. It takes a while for a child to understand that things like torture are not normal. It takes a while to figure out what your mom is doing behind those closed doors. Ren did not always fight his family and sometimes he couldn’t fight them.

“Bulletproof vest my only clothing”

It seems that Ren at least tries to not let anything too close to him. Within his family taking things even harder than they already were probably would have killed him. His family seems to have been pretty cold hearted and I feel like Ren has some of that coldness well.

Rens family liked dominance over other creatures and breaking them over and over again. Somehow I feel like they broke their children as well. Just a feeling.

2. Between the bars

I feel like Ren spent part of his time in his home in the cages that they normally kept the beasts in. As a punishment or lesson or both I don’t know. But I can imagine Ren talking to the animals and beasts and other beings he sees. Whispering between the bars. Promising himself to one day be free and free everyone and everything from the cages he hated so much.

Drink up with me now and forget all about The pressure of days, do what I say And I'll make you okay and drive them away The images stuck in your head

Drink up, baby, look at the stars I'll kiss you again, between the bars

Honestly I don’t know if I was just completely oblivious the first time I listened to the playlist but I’ve only recently began thinking about D20error’s characters and love. And keeping possible romance in the back of my head while listening to the playlist definitely opened some more doors.

I feel like Ren definitely had some kind of romantic relationship during his time that he still lived in Higash, possibly someone within the cages. We know that his family took in humanoids as well as beasts.

Ren tried to help the hurt humanoids more than anything else, he tried to bring them food and water. But he wasn’t allowed to be caught doing it.

So having a relationship with someone within the cages is probably another thing best to be kept secret.

Honestly I feel like saying anything else than yes and amen probably resulted in some kind of punishment for him.

When the gang went to see the divination lady Ren wanted to know if a specific person, Ember, was still alive/ what they were doing tonight. I can only imagine this being the person Ren loved. Although upon hearing that they in fact were still alive Ren said nothing more than “Oh”

Does that mean Ren thought they were dead, were they in the house when it burned, did he believe them dead even before that.

The one question that always came with Ren for me was why he stayed so lnog with that family that he hated so much and that obviously didn’t have a lot of love for him. I feel like this might be another answer. 

There weren’t a lot of people who knew about what was going on in the house of Anga’elin and leaving meant leaving everyone and everything down there to their fate. 

3. Dancing in the moonlight

The moon seems to be a reoccurring motive in Ren’s story.

Disobeyed another warning I should have been home by ten I won't get out until Sunday I'll have to say I stayed with friends But it's a habit worth forming If the means justify the ends

Apart from that I can only imagine this song also partly being about the relationship he possibly had. 

4. Smother

I want him but we're not right

For my bones have found a place To lie down and sleep Where all my layers can become reeds All my limbs can become trees All my children can become me

Yeah no I must have been completely oblivious.

Another theory of mine actually is that Ren’s family did find out about about his relationship or at least did know about a special connection between him and one of the prisoners (for a lack of a better term I’m gonna use prisoner). They knew he was helping others (Ren said he was being punished if he was caught helping). And Rens s/o disappeared from view and Ren believed them to be dead. I find it hard to believe that Ren would have just left them behind when the house finally burned down.

Also just to say it again Rens family reaaally sucks.

It must be a weird position, being part of that family and being a prisoner part of the time as well. Trying to help while having to fight not be pushed to bring those same wounds and scars to yet another creature.

I love this song a lot. 

5. The chain

Still not too sure what to make of this song. 

I can still see the chain being the bond between him and his family, the reason he never really could leave. 

Lyrics like “damn your love, damn your lies” lead me to believe that it is about them rather than about a possible s/o. 

Then again to speak of “love” in any way when talking about Ren’s family seems a bit off.

But I could imagine it being about Ren’s s/o in another way:

(Hang on to your seats this is gonna be a very hypothetical theory)

What if Ren and his s/o knew that they would have to part ways at some point. What if they knew about the fire or at least that the end of the Anga’elin’s was kinda close, maybe even were somehow involved in the planning of that (Ren has Arsonists lullaby in his playlist and I said it before that I think he has something to do with it). What if Ren planned on going down in flames with his family.

The chain being the bond between them that they wouldn’t break no matter what happened and if they ever saw each other again.

Then again I can also see Ren believing his s/o already dead when the fire came. 

I’m really unsure about these two theories but yeah, just to have put those thoughts in here.

6. The war

The fire.

Rather than what I said before (it being a song either before or immediately after the fire)  I think it’s about the moments when the house burned.

Ren is conflicted. Scared, relieved, confused,...

Here stands a man at the bottom of a hole he's made still sweating from the rush his body tense his hands, they shake oh this, this is a mad boy

I still think he had something to do with the fire so guilt probably mixes in with the rest.

Don't you ever leave me alone my war is over be my shelter from the storm my war is over

Ren has been fighting his family for a loooooong time and suddenly they’re gone and his “war is over” in a way.

Now all he’ll ever do is run.

The last time I said these lines could be about Nora. I still think it’s possible, but at the moment of the fire she was just that librarian girl that happened to save him from a fire (that he possibly didn’t necessarily even want to be saved from). So it still seems a bit off.

Again they could be about the s/o though this seems even more unlikely because Nora saved Ren specifically in the library, meaning he probably was alone in that moment. I don’t think they saw each other again after the fire. So there’s no shelter to be had.

7. Arsonists lullaby

When I was a child, I heard voices Some would sing and some would scream

I mean... his family broke creatures. Ren probably heard A LOT of voices in those rooms.

When I was a child, I'd sit for hours Staring into open flame Something in it had a power Could barely tear my eyes away

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

I feel like Ren wanted to see his family gone for a long time. 

But it took some time for it to become true.

When I was a man I thought it ended When I knew love's perfect ache But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake

If Ren found some kind peace in being with his s/o maybe that would have been reason enough to stay with his family for longer than he wanted to. (I imagine he’d probably hang on to that one positive thing he has, running away never really seemed like an option I think knowing that his family had a whole network of people working with them, so he probably would have been found rather quickly). But if that person was gone for whatever reason...

I said it before but I’ll say it again: He wanted his “family” dead and gone in some way.

8. Run

No change of theories here. I know why it’s in here.

9. Leaves, trees, forest

And my heart is a ghost And he drinks and he smokes And he keeps me awake All through the night my heart shakes

But he’s not okay. After being freed from his cage he now is caught in this constant state of running.

Worrying. 

Is s/o still alive? Will he ever see them again? 

What will happen to him? Are he and Nora gonna survive the next day?

I know there is hope but I can't look for it

Their situation seems hopeless. They can’t run forever, yet they can’t stop running.

Oh out in the woods Out in the field, it's a hard rains fall Rust on the wheels of my ten speed And I ride in the lane And the lane is a wind and it keeps me sane

But as long as they are moving, somethings happening. They escape whoever might be following but also lose their thoughts for a while. 

There are leaves in the trees, there are trees in the forest

And that’s about the only thing that stays the same.

I feel like this song could be about something more specific that we don’t know about yet. So I’m just gonna stay tuned.

10. Leaving on a jet plane

I'm standin' here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye But the dawn is breakin' It's early morn

There's so many times I've let you down So many times I've played around I tell you now, they don't mean a thing

I’m not really changing my theories for this one. I still think it’s about the moment Ren left Nora with nothing but a note to say goodbye.

So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go

Again it could be about a possible s/o but it feels like it’s a weird place in the order of the playlist to have it that far in the end. 

But maybe something happened with them later on and we just don’t know about that yet. 

11. In dreams

Always a riddle in the world she says Always a riddle inside my head Always a thing to wonder the way we come to be Oh it's a big old place for me, yeah it's a big old world indeed Everyone is killing me and everything conspires

Everything that happened when Ren was unconscious while being sick was a whisper so I’m not gonna say much. But I think it’s about those dreams and visions.

Oh in dreams I have watched it spin Seen a violent crack of atoms were all that comes in Oh in dreams I saw Aesop's kin Just a carcass of a man, I belong inside his skin

His family.

I live alone, I live a lonely life without you

His s/o?

And I may be troubled but I'm gracious in defeat

12. Meet me in the woods

Another song about the visions?

I took a little journey to the unknown And I come back changed, I can feel it in my bones 

I fucked with the forces that our eyes can't see Now the darkness got a hold on me

I mean he literally changed his goals after he saw that lady with the white hair, he wants to go where she told him and I think he listens to her.

I have seen what the darkness does (Say goodbye to who I was) I ain't never been away so long (Don't look back, them days are gone) Follow me into the endless night (I can bring your fears to life) Show me yours and I'll show you mine (Meet me in the woods tonight)

Yeah, the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams

I think he’s also a bit confused, because he doesn’t really know who she is. But she seems to guide him towards something good.

Holy darkness got a hold on me

I just feel like it fits.

13. I’ll be good

I never meant to start a fire I never meant to make you bleed

If he knew about the fire, he’s also in a way responsible for Nora losing her home and probably everything she loved. He never meant to hurt her. He didn’t even know about her at that point. I just don’t think that he ever even thought about anyone actually liking this house that meant pure hell for him.

Grace is just weakness Or so I've been told I've been cold, I've been merciless But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today

As much as Ren tried to fight his family he was a part of them in a way and as I said before I don’t think he was always able to fight them. He caused pain and saw people suffer. A lot.

For all of the light that I shut out For all of the innocent things that I doubt For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears For all of the things that I've done all these years And all Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out For all of the perfect things that I doubt

I'll be good, I'll be good

But he’s trying to be better now. 

Trying to learn how to people.

Again Ren’s “He’s a dick but he’s trying” anthem

14. With a little help from my friends

Oh, i get by with a little help from my friends mm, i get high with a little help from my friends mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

He is part of a group now and slowly learning how that works. 

And I think that he’s slowly beginning to actually like these people. Though of course he will not admit that.

They’re all helping each other to get through this mess. At least they didn’t die yet.

15. The woods

We're all falling and We need a place to hide A safe place somewhere in the woods We can start the fire

They all have their stories, their secrets but they are writing their own stories now.

And we leave it all behind Can't you see we need some time? And we all sit around the fire We feel a little warmer now

It’s all new and weird but at least they’re not alone anymore.

I still think it’s about TAVRN what can I say.

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There are probably some typos in there and parts of this were written at 4 am so excuse my grammar as well.

This was meant to be a small update but somehow ended i me rewatching all the important Ren scenes and crying a little. I love this angsty elf boy.

Can’t wait to find out more about him.

[yikestripes]

For the First Time

humans of tumblr, friends and fans of my blog, mamma mia here we go again. ya girl is BACK and better than ever with her new obsession, criminal fuckin minds. this was such a fun one shot to write; enjoy!

Summary: You’ve been working for the FBI for 3 years now, and have never seen the sights. Spencer,  of course, volunteers to take you along for a wild ride. 

“Spence!” You called as you entered the BAU, your bag swinging wildly on your shoulder as your crazed (Y/E/C) eyes searched for the lanky doctor. Although it was mildly quiet despite the typing on a few keyboards and phones ringing here and there, the office was nowhere near as excitable and filled as it usually was on a Friday morning. The man in question poked his head out of the break room, quickly accompanied by the rest of his body as he strode across the catwalk.

“Yeah, (Y/N)?” He materialized at your side and held out a coffee mug with your name on it. You grabbed it gratefully and sucked down a few gulps before recollecting your thoughts.

“I was up half the night thinking about it, and I think I finally understand!” Spencer gave you a confused look, scrunching up his face as he thought through whatever it was he said that could have confused you.

Compared to the other members of the BAU, you were the only one who understood what he was saying at least 95% of the time- something that Spencer found both impressive and is what initially drew him to you. Here you were, 3 years later, on the anniversary of your joining the BAU. Little did you know that this was the day Spencer had realized his feelings toward you were a lot more than friendly. Nevertheless, the boy genius was terrified of how you would react, whether that be to laugh at him or possibly worse- feel sorry for him.

Taking in the confused look on his face, you giggled and your hand flew to his arm in excitement.

“The Star Trek theory you were talking about to Morgan and I yesterday- I finally figured it out!” Spencer smiled and took a careful sip of his coffee, taking in the easy-going smile that was plastered across your face and the accompanying gleam in your eyes. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, something that based on his current job, was very apparent to him. He could spend hours staring into your eyes, whether it be to distinguish each different color that presented itself and understand why your particular set of eyes were so beautiful, or to finally get some sort of a grasp on why he fell so hard for you so quickly. It would take a lifetime, he thought, to finally understand what made you so different from all the other people he had met in his lifetime.

Meanwhile, you had been going on for a solid 3 minutes about his Star Trek theory, he could only nod along, buried so far in his own thoughts that he couldn’t even hear you.

“You know?” You finally said, taking a second to catch your breath. Just like Spencer, you had a hard time with knowing when to stop talking without being told to do so. You tended to ramble, so if no one stopped you, you would go on forever.

Spencer simply smiled.

“Yeah. I know.”

Several hours had passed when you were finally able to move the mountain of paperwork from your desk to Hotch’s. You grinned, this was one of your favorite parts of paperwork days. You fiddled with the stack in your hand to reach up and knock on Hotch’s door, when you heard him already saying come in from the other side. He knew you were coming, considering how clockwork-like your work habits were.

“Hey Hotch, these need to be processed for Monday.” Hotch tried his best not to crack a smile at the smirk displayed on your face, and give you the pleasure of making him laugh. He thought you were hilarious, constantly having everyone in stitches throughout the day to make the reality of your careers a little less heavy- which is one of the reasons every person at the BAU loved you immediately. You were sarcastic and creative, and had great dad jokes to boot, ready at any opportunity.

“Thank you. Does Garcia need to see any of this to upload it into the system?” He asked, returning to the stone man he was previously.

“Nope.” You popped the P as you headed towards the door.

“(Y/L/N).” Hotch said. You turned around and he hadn’t even looked up at you. “You did some excellent work this week; grab Reid on your way out, I don’t want to see either of you for at least 3 days.” You grinned and wished him a good weekend, as he watched you walk out smiling. He shook his head and buried his head back into his work.

“Hey Professor,” You called as you bounded down the stairs. Reid flashed you a tight lipped smile as he so often did, and raised his eyebrows in response to the nickname.

“We’re done for 3 whole days!” You said as you packed your stuff haphazardly into your backpack. Spencer grinned and began packing his own things much more meticulously.

“Do you have anything exciting planned for this weekend?” He asked.

“Nah, unless you count going home to Gerald something exciting.” You said with a laugh. Reid smiled at the thought of the orange tabby that was oh so fond of him.

“Did you know that cats are actually an excellent judge of character? In a newspaper article I read from the early 90s, cats are actually extremely perceptive of humans upon first or second meeting, meaning that they can distinguish between good and bad based on a human character and emotion.” He said.

“I KNEW my cat hated Steven for a reason!” You said, recalling how your cat would do nothing but glare and his at your ex boyfriend, who ended up using you. “Do you have anything going on?” You asked. Spence shook his head, before looking at you with a small grin.

“How long have you been living in Virginia?” He asked.

“I don’t know, 3 years? Whenever I started working here I guess, why?” You hadn’t really given it much thought, it seemed like whatever life you had been living before this one seemed so far away. It hadn’t originally occurred to you that today was your 3rd anniversary of being with the BAU, and meeting Spencer.

“Have you ever been to the tourist sights?” He asked, pausing his stride outside of the elevator. You thought about it for a minute, and realized quickly where he was going with this.

“Nope! I always thought they were way too crowded for me whenever I got the free time to go.”

Spencer grinned. “Well then, Miss (Y/L/N), today is your lucky day.” You grinned back. No idea could have been better for your third anniversary of knowing and secretly loving Doctor Spencer Reid.

You had parted ways at your cars to shower and change, before meeting up around 8 pm so Spencer could show you around without tourists.

His hands were deep in his pockets as usual, as he carefully explained each monument in great detail. Considering you were a history major in college before going to FBI training and schooling, you were appreciative of Spencer’s long winded rambling, even able to inject your own knowledge in the quiet moments.

“And last but certainly not least, one of my favorite places in the city.” He said as you entered the World War II memorial. The water from the fountain was glistening in the moonlight as you took a deep breath, both from the breathless feeling Spencer gave you whenever he was around, and the sight before you. The stars and the moon lit up the night sky before you as the memorial itself framed it. No wonder this was one of Spencer’s favorite spaces, it was breathtaking. Then again, so was he. Very fitting.

“Spence…” You began, unsure where to go. You took a seat on the stairs behind you and took in the feeling in that moment, where you felt so relaxed and happy, beside your favorite person in the world.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He said, looking at you and smiling softly. “Really, really beautiful.” he whispered. You glanced in his direction to see his attention was focused on you, not the sky or the fountain beneath it. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“(Y/N),” Spencer swallowed hard and licked his lips quickly, a habit he had when he was nervous about something he had to say. “I-I don’t know how to say this but I’ve kind of been in love with you for about 2 years now. Sure, I knew you were beautiful the first day you stepped into the BAU but once I got to know you, the real you, when you really let your guard down and allowed me to fully understand how truly intelligent, kind, and hilarious you are is when I fell hard for you and I’m sorry it took me so long to say it but I’ve always been so afraid that you wouldn’t fe-” You grabbed Spencer’s face and pressed your lips onto his, immediately feeling him soften into the kiss after a moment of anxious surprise.

You pulled away first, your eyes wide and your mouth hanging slightly agape. Spencer just looked mildly surprised, before softening into a shy smile.

“I love you too, Spence. I knew the day I met you, that you were going to be the most unforgettable human being I had ever known.” You said softly, rubbing your thumb gently across his cheek.

“Um,” He looked down and flicked his eyes upwards, gently tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. “Can I kiss you again?”

You grinned and met him halfway, the second kiss equally as sweet as the first.