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erin-epica · 4 years ago

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Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

#unikitty #unikitty!#master frown #brock #lord Scarlet #brook #vic #vicslayer #scream queen savage #Victoria #update #amino

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stcfvnia · 4 years ago

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...so I ended up editing Stef’s intro because of the changes made to her basics & backstory!! It’s almost the same, I just added the part about her birth mother dying & her father remarrying c: The bio is quite long so there’s a tldr at the bottom!

here it is!

&&. announcing her grace, ( stefania kalena czartoryska ), the ( 37 ) year old ( queen ) of ( poland ). she is often confused with ( anne hathaway ). some say that she is ( too stoic and altruistic ), but she is actually ( clear-headed and meticulous ).

basics

Name: Stefania Kalena Czartoryska

Gender: Cisfemale

Place of Birth: Warsaw, Poland

Date of Birth: September 21, 1982

Age: 37

Title: Queen of Poland

Education: graduated with a double major in Political Science & International Relations from Oxford University

Positive Traits: clear-headed & meticulous

Negative Traits: stoic & altruistic

Birth Parents: (name to be updated) Czartoryska & Kazimierz Czartoryski (both deceased)

Stepmother: Simonetta Di Savoia-Czartoryska

Siblings: Samuel (full), Sasha (half) & Serafina (half)

introduction

Not every life starts on good note

Being the first born of Queen (name to be updated) and King Kazimierz, it was a given that her parents showered her with their love and full attention. That did not change when her younger brother, Samuel, came along. It did change, however, in the year 1987 when her mother passed away. Stefania did not understand that concept. All she cared about at the time was that her mother never kissed her goodnight anymore.

Fortunately, their home did not stay cold forever. King Kazimierz remarried in the year 1990 and his second wife, Queen Simonetta of Italy made Stefania the love of a mother again. She may still hold her birth mother close to her heart but that did not mean that she didn't share the love she was capable of giving with her stepmother. She did, and she shared that love with her two step siblings as well.

but you have only one life to live,

It was also a given that there was pressure on Stefania’s shoulders. Her name alone reminded her of what she was supposed to do in her life which was to take over the throne and rule her country one day. It made sense, then, that she was given everything she needed to do that. She was given the best education, received assistance from the most notable tutors, had the most reliable ladies-in-waiting that one could ask for.

Being raised the way that Stefania led to some people wanting an out of their “calling” but that wasn’t the case for her. No, she wanted to live her life this way, to see how things are done, to have a say in how things are done and to give her people the sense of security and peace that she was fortunately born with. She wanted the power and was set on using it to make things better. The thing is she had only one life to live. Can she say that she was actually living it? The answer is no.

one chance to make it worthwhile,

Give a smile, shake some hands, engage in conversations and show your siblings what they should do.

For years, Stefania wanted to find a balance between doing what was expected of her and actually living her life but all her efforts were to no avail. It took one day filled with too much pressure and anxiety about the future to get her to set everything aside and to finally take the break that she deserved.You see, everyone has a breaking point and what caused Stefania to reach hers was an argument with her stepmother. Now, it was rare for her to ever answer back because she was honestly afraid of the queen at the time. However, she could not keep her mouth shut when she heard the words “You cannot make mistakes like this.” It was said after she was caught sneaking out of a palace guard’s room. She was twenty-two at the time.

She was tired of setting aside the things that she wanted to do all the time, and she hated that the one time she actually did something for herself, it led to her mother looking for a more “suitable” man for her. That’s was caused her to run away for a while. That’s when she started living her life.

For a year, she never stepped foot in their palace. Instead, she she travelled the world, attended the parties that she used to skip and ticked things off the bucket list she made when she was eighteen. Throughout that year, her name was not a stranger to the headlines and, obviously, Simonetta was not happy about this. Surprisingly, however, Kazimierz was. When she finally went home, the first words her father told her were it is about time you had a life outside this palace. That was the start of his support for her living a life that balances her responsibility and her fun.

one chance to get it right.

Unfortunately, that kind of life was not meant to last forever for Stefania and she knew that. She knew that there would come a day when she’d have to give up her fun for the sake of her responsibility, and she was willing to do so.

The thing is she had to do it sooner than she expected to. It was one thing to watch her father get weaker as the days pass, it was another to have to deal with his death and all the power that was in her hands. She didn’t give herself the chance to grieve. Instead, she put up a tough front, held on to her siblings as they grieved and assured them & her people that things will be okay.

Ever since, she either did not acknowledge or kept her sadness or fear to herself because she felt like doing otherwise will not do her people or her family any good. It may have been a heavy burden for her to carry but it was a price she was willing to pay.

So, your majesty, what are you going to do now?

tldr

She was named Stefania which, in Greek, means “crowned” so she had a daily reminder of her responsibility. It didn’t help that her parents (especially her mother) made her feel the pressure.

She rarely does things for herself like she has that “responsibility over me” mindset. One of the few times that she actually did that was with one of the royal guards. She was twenty-two at the time, so was he and they were in a relationship. It was going fine until she was caught sneaking out of his room lols so that didn’t end well for her or for him. It’s what led to her mother making it her personal mission to arrange an engagement for Stefania. She’s had her fair share of those engagements but none have worked out.

That argument with her stepmother after she got caught was what led her to run away. Like she wanted to live a life without any of the pressure so she spent a year traveling the world, partying, ticking off things on her bucketlist and doing things that caused her to be a headline a lot.

She thought that when she’d go home, she wouldn’t be the heir to the throne anymore but, surprisingly, her father supported her living a life like that. After years of doing nothing but what was expected of her, he felt like it was only fair that she get time off. So, with her support and despite being against Simonetta’s wishes, she lived a life with both responsibility and fun. As long as you don’t do anything too stupid was what her father always told her.

Then her father died which caused her to give up the fun part of her life. Don’t get wrong, she was willing to do it but she just had to do it sooner than she expected. Ever since, she’s had that “responsibility > me” mindset again and she does not show her siblings or her people if she’s feeling sad or afraid because, for her, doing so will not do them any good. It was a heavy burden for sure but she was willing to carry it on her own.

tidbits

She is very compassionate (sometimes too compassionate according to her mother). Think Princess Mia from the Princess Diaries Typical, I know (and a little funny now that her fc is Anne Hathaway) but she’s one of my inspos for Stef!!

She’ll do anything and everything for her people. And when she gets an idea that will be for their betterment, she won’t stop until she gets it done.

She rarely gets into arguments with people but when someone is being too cruel, she will not be able to keep her thoughts to herself.

She loves all her siblings with all her heart and whenever she feels like they need her, she’d cancel her plans for them. She’s the type of person who calls her friends out on doing something stupid only to support them right after. “As long as you’re not hurting anyone, yourself included.” - that’s what she always says.

She wanted to get married and have a family of her own before she took the throne but then things don’t always go as planned.

#hshqintro #death tw

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devandahlcourte-work-in-progress · 2 years ago

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Section 10. 4 chapters, ending with chapter 54

I am reposting these first eighty-two chapters (in 22 sections) plus the prologue and the preface.

These posts will be the updated versions from my DeviantArt account, and since Tumblr may not display all the text correctly (it destroys anything I had in italics or underlined) I would still recommend reading everything there, on DeviantArt. They will also include internal links that navigate between the chapters on DeviantArt and will take the reader off Tumblr if clicked.

This came about because I noticed search engines were finding random sections of my book and displaying them along with some other people’s blog posts.

Okay, so that’s why I installed those internal links in each one… so that if anyone gets to a random section by way of a search engine and would like to read the story from the beginning, they can.

Only then did I realize that it wasn’t getting it’s search results from DeviantArt, but from old Tumblr.

There’s another problem at work here besides unrefined searches…

There is a new species of virus on the internet that likes to eat ancient Tumblr posts and barf them back up infested with adware - spyware - malware etc. The virus goes by names like TumGIR, TumBIG, TumPIK, or Tum(anything else but ‘blr’). The caps were added by me for emphasis so that maybe you can double check in case you’re not looking at an actual Tumblr post right now but one of these so-called “mirror” sites.

If you’re looking at this text through one of the counterfeit Tumblrs that I mentioned, then no link you click (assuming it even copies it with my links intact) will take you out; it will redirect you and show you all of the spam ads it wants to. So read carefully what url is showing on your browser right now.

If it is one of the untrustworthy ones I would suggest closing your browser window and doing whatever else you normally would in order to reset settings.

As far as my science fiction novel entitled “If And Only If,” the safest way to find it is by going to my Instagram:

@michelle.de.vandahlcourte

From there you can click on the link in my bio. It will take you to the beginning of the story on DeviantArt… the safe one! No malware.

P.S. None of this is Tumblr’s fault! It’s the malware/adware/spyware developers who are stealing people’s tumblr posts.

The actual content of this page appears below here👇

Section 10. 4 chapters, ending with chapter 54

↩️return to previous section, section 9

↩️↩️…and if you arrived here because of a search engine and you would like to read this story from the beginning, click here.

Brenda

All right, full disclosure, I am not really Brenda. This first part of her story is being relayed to whoever may find this, in the future or past or on some other timeline or in some other parallel universe, by a friend of hers: me.

My name is Renaldo. And Brenda gave me something for safekeeping. This is going to sound super weird. But she gave me something to hold onto for her in case her memory was ever erased.

And by that, I mean the memory in her head; Her brain; her mind. Whatever you want to call it – I’m not talking about one of her devices having it’s memory wiped like a phone or notebook or tablet.

And as weird as it sounds, it actually has happened now. Someone erased her memory as she feared they might.

To be honest I was just kind of psyched that she wanted to talk about all this at first. It was fun. Kind of like a theoretical conversation about different types of science fiction. But I’ve come to realize now that this is all too real. I don’t know what to make of it. It’s scary.

Is Brenda going to be normal again? Healthy? She seems to be doing okay. She just has absolutely no idea that a particular fictional character on the Internet ever existed. And someone can live the rest of their life happily ever after without knowing about some obscure open-source cartoon, right? But then would she want to know that her memory had been erased and try to find out who did it and why?

I didn’t know that that character existed either; not until recently. But that’s simply because I should “get out more” as both my brothers frequently remind me. I tend to not know about fun stuff or trendy things. I found out that it existed because she told me. Now, I am finding myself in the peculiar position of having to tell her something that she not only used to know, but knew well enough that she was able to teach me and other people about it.

All right, enough drama. Time for specifics. As fortune would have it, Brenda decided to confide in me after all about what she called the Marky Mark signal. I went back and found the movie and streamed it on two different nights; I had a research paper due so I couldn’t see it all in one evening. But I watched it as quickly as I could so that I would understand what she was talking about.

And yes, it would make more sense to do it that way: A signal that goes out worldwide and makes people stop what they’re doing and go into some sort of hypnotic state where they immediately grab whatever materials they have on this fictional character that they are not supposed to know about, and destroy the things.

That could include erasing files from local drives and clouds. But also physical hardcopies; printouts of related articles. Handwritten notes. Art that someone drew on their Wacom Intuos. (Hers is wiped clean of it, by the way.)

That actually makes a lot more sense than a neuralyzer / flashy-thing or or the like. As I told Brenda, let’s just crunch the numbers.

While that may work for just a few people, we’re talking about a number in the hundreds of thousands or millions, if the figure I read on the creepy pasta website stats is correct. How many people can one agent flashy thing in a day?

Assuming they have to go driving around visiting each person, would 10 a day be reasonable? That assumes an 8 hour work day, which would be 48 minutes per person. Assuming mostly urban environments, most of that 48 is spent driving, parking, and walking to and from the car... plus a little time for knocking and getting into a private place where no one else could see them use their gadget.

If so, then that agent could erase 300 people’s memories per month. How many months do they have to do this? Let’s say that the agency, government bureau, or whatever they call themselves, doesn’t mind moving at a leisurely pace. So let’s say they allocate 10 months for this project. Working with no vacation for 10 months straight, our agent can erase 3000 people‘s memories.

The website indicated something like 8 million viewers when I checked. Let’s suppose not all of them were fans of Stalko-Taco. You have only perhaps 3 million of them who were either fans or read the story then decided they didn’t like it but remembered it anyway…

How many agents would you need? If we’re sticking with that 10 month figure, then that’s 1000 agents. To personally visit and flashy-thing 3 million people for the purpose of erasing their memories. In ten months. If you wanted to hurry the process up and get done in only a month, you would need 10,000 agents.

Never mind which one it is. If it’s 1000 agents or 10,000 agents, that’s still a lot of government employees out there running around fully aware that there is a memory-erasing technology and that the government has some kind of organized campaign to go out and track down specific citizens and erase their memories. No way in hell does someone not talk when the numbers involved are that large. With anything more than 10 people it would be hard to manage. (And I am fully aware that during this rudimentary calculation I have completely neglected the complications presented by dealing with international fans of the story, i.e. outside the U.S.)

So what else could you do? Have some kind of super elite spy agency within the agency? Maybe 10 hard-core guys who systematically erase the memories of the memory-erasing agents once they’ve done their jobs?

I suppose it’s possible, but it’s just cumbersome. However this is happening, whether by “flashy thing” or “Marky Mark signal,” it almost certainly is occurring using alien technology. I made it clear to Brenda how I preferred to interpret the Drake equation.

So if it’s alien technology either way, and I am the aliens, I would go with a solution that’s less logistically cumbersome. So, Marky Mark it is.

As a safeguard against us being hit by another Marky Mark pulse which would be more thorough than the last one and would wipe Brenda’s memories as well – something the first one had failed to do – Brenda tried to do an end-run around the process.

Another old phone from her sister. Still another old phone that her dad didn’t need anymore. Both with the Sim cards removed in the course of their deactivation. She placed the videos on each of these phones. In the photos, yes, the obvious place. But also, as these phones allow you to do, the videos were embedded into some notes files. It doesn’t let you lock a notes file that contains a video. One that has pictures in it, yes. But not one that contains a video. But she gave it a shot anyway.

It was just another way to possibly foil their plans if they found the phone and just scanned for audio and video. Then yeah, they would erase that. If they looked at notes files – in other words, text files – the paragraphs would contain nothing but articles about fashion, complete with pictures of different outfits. But if you scroll down far enough, in between what’s in and what’s out for this autumn, there would happen to be an occasional video file imbedded.

She gave me one phone and let it slip out that she gave Wheeler the other.

There is more than one way she could show up asking for it back. One possibility would’ve been that Brenda, the normal version of her, comes to me/us and simply asks for the phone back because there’s some reason why she needs it/them.

The other possibility is that she asks for it back... but the person doing the asking isn’t quite the normal Brenda. To ascertain just how “normal” she is, she gave us a series of questions that we are supposed to ask her; somewhat more advanced than a simple password. A series of questions which when answered correctly would reveal that her memory was still intact and had not been tampered with.

I saw a potential problem with this. But telling her what this problem was would not only fail to solve it – it would in fact create a situation wherein she would fail altogether. That is, a situation wherein the whole procedure of making backup videos would automatically become useless. I couldn’t tell her about this. The only way to help her achieve what I know she’s going for is to change her plans without telling her.

I searched for the name in my head. I had to remember. Only one university here, I was fairly certain, had an actual law school. Scanning through their website’s list of faculty would probably trigger my memory. I’d know it when I saw it. Phone all the way dead; I could just wait about 70 seconds and then use it at 1% while plugged into the kitchen outlet. Asking my mom would have been a guaranteed way to find out his name, but she’d be infinitely curious why I wanted to know, and she’d never let up. Then as the white apple popped up, I saw one of my dad’s old coffee cups, from Flagstaff. Lowell Observatory – that was it. Professor Lowell.

Eileen

I trusted a time-traveler who doesn’t wear a watch. If that one mistake could have been avoided I might not be facing life in prison. I wasn’t handcuffed to a hospital bed; they hadn’t made an arrest yet. But it was just a matter of time and I was under guard, I could tell – more than just hospital security. I couldn’t leave. If I tell the whole truth? Then they might arrange for some of the time to be in a nuthouse instead, because they’ll never believe the truth. This isn’t how the future was supposed to be. Because I’ve already time traveled to the future and this wasn’t it.

What happened to My Future – the one I Saw? That little so-called Chronopolitan? That punk troubadour who prefers to live in medieval times? Yeah. And even though he’s from the future and could easily wear a watch, he chooses not to because he’s in love with that era. I want my EMPIRE dammit!

Narcissistic personality disorder! Bull Fucking Shit. I sometimes go days at a time without wearing makeup or looking in mirrors. It’s them! They’re the narcissists. The two doc-tards and the last five nurse-tards. All of them and their mutual admiration society. And all that eurotrash from Stuttgart and Trieste! They probably caused this. That’s it! I’ve made up my mind.

I’m tearing this shit up and flushing the tiny pieces down the toilet, as long as they’re letting me in here unsupervised back in 2006. I can’t have these notes ever be found. Because I’ve decided that it might be easier to escape from a looney bin someday than from prison, I’m going to do something that violates my personal philosophy of success: I’m going to tell the truth. That alone oughta get me locked up on the funny farm. That plus I have knowledge of psychology they don’t know I’ve got; enough to fake several mental illnesses in case the truth doesn’t make me sound crazy enough.

Plus my shysters being paid indirectly through offshore accounts will push for it and bring in expert witnesses to demolish my mental competency standing. More of what’s supposed to be my empire, crumbling because the vultures know there’s untraceable money there.

The Pyxis! I could clearly hear its sounds coming from down the hall now. My nurse-tard is habitually late and has to wait in line for it. She’s too much of a pushover. Let’s others walk all over her. Yes, perfect, just what I need. So I’ve got a half hour at least to tear up these tiny strips and flush them. My last chance because I’m pretty sure unsupervised use of toilets is going to be a rarity for me soon. As well as unsupervised electrical outlets. And towels. And salt packets. And straws.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

C’mon Eileen, I encouraged myself, it’s just like BDSM with Jared. And... ZAP!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Eileen?” The nurse politely asked, even bothering to knock on her already propped-open door, she could hear because she was still semi-conscious but convulsing.

Shouted calls. Urgent instructions. Through it all she heard cries of “get the power shut off!”

Unknown and unseen voices chattered back and forth. “Where did she get wires?”

“It’s brine.”

“What?”

“A slushy paste of salt and water. Inside two lines each of about twenty plastic straws stuck together.”

You would think these losers had seen it all by now. They seemed truly surprised. Another one, on the phone with a doc-tard who was apparently in charge but too important to actually be present in the ward, sounded genuinely panicky: “Holy shit! She made two long tubes by working the straws together end-to-end, filled ‘em with salt water slush and plugged them into the outlet like wires. The wet towel wrapped around her neck may be soaked in salt water too. Yes sir, the current’s been switched off and she’s still breathing.”

It’s a good thing we aren’t further in the future, she thought. Bernart just happened to mention one day at a burger joint in Loma Linda that plastic straws would be outlawed on the entire west coast by the 20s, if not sooner. She’d silently cursed to herself:

“What other kinds of idiocy await in this wrong-future that I got railroaded into?”

The flashlight irritating her eyes was her cue to try and speak. With some difficulty since her “electrocution” stunt had almost worked. Fortunately she was able to attempt several tries since this moron kept flicking the thing back and forth about a dozen times. She fought the overwhelming temptation to shout: Dude! If my fucking pupils haven’t done whatever it is you think they’re supposed to by now, they aren’t gunna! You’re annoying as shit.

Finally her mouth worked well enough.

“Time travelers.”

Moron b repeated it to flashlight moron:

“Did she say time travelers?”

Time to get busy acting Eileen, she thought happily, shifting into high gear but still speaking in a groggy voice: “They already copied me and sent my new body and mind to the future. I don’t need this body anymore. It’s okay, we can go ahead and kill it.”

Brenda, by way of Renaldo again

I ran this whole scenario by my mom’s old friend, Professor Lowell. He was not just a lawyer but a professor of law at a nearby university. I had a voice conversation with him, in person. Totally non-electronic. I couldn’t rig the room and make it a SCIF or suchlike, or even pipe loud music against his office windows.

But one thing that worked in my favor was construction; whatever they were doing in the parking lot outside his building involved at least one jack-hammer going for the majority of the time, against a blanket of constant background noise created by heavy machinery – backhoe loader type vehicles. And at any given moment it seemed like at least one of their backup warning beepers was going; definitely more than half the time from the sound of it.

He apologized for all the racket out there. I told him it was okay. But didn’t elaborate as to why I thought it was okay. It would have made me sound disturbingly paranoid. And on that note, I was taking a calculated risk by assuming that his office wasn’t bugged beforehand. Statistically it was unlikely. Given that the “Taco Erasers,” whoever they were, were primarily targeting people who liked Creepypastas and they in turn seemed to be of an average age of around 18... it was unlikely that Professor Lowell here would even be on their radar.

Might he be involved in some other matter that could have caused someone to bug his office and thus allow my group of hypothetical spooks to patch into the preexisting circuitry and listen? Sure. But also unlikely. Although he was still officially licensed by the state bar association to practice as an attorney – if that’s the right phraseology – he was semi-retired now and primarily focused on teaching and coauthoring some publications with his peers.

Moreover I wasn’t running the scenario by him to ask if it would be legal, but to see if he agreed that it would be logical. And I admit that I also wanted his take on whether it would be ethical.

I mean, I’m basically lying to Brenda. But I’m doing it for her own good. Is that truly possible? Or am I just kidding myself? This guy had taught a course called The Philosophy of Logic, as a visiting assistant professor at another university in town, through their philosophy department. He’d also taught ethics both in his law school capacity and through that other university’s philosophy program.

He vaguely understood that I was writing some kind of literary work in the science fiction genre; a necessary cover story since it wouldn’t likely be possible that I hung out in circles where memory-erasure and mind-control were readily practiced.

To begin with, he assured me that my logic was sound. The two possibilities that I mentioned, one being the normal Brenda, and the other one being the Brenda whose memory had been tampered with, would give identical answers to anything requiring passwords or challenge questions. It would not be possible to tell them apart.

If this hypothetical technology could force people to do things they didn’t want to do, then that would also apply to keys to a desk drawer, passwords for computers or other devices, and answers to challenge questions that I or Wheeler might pose... it would even extend “to pulverizing a block of concrete with a jackhammer,” he said looking out his window somewhat perturbed, if the subject had chosen to encase the evidence in a concrete foundation.

If “they” truly had the ability to make you do anything they wanted for the purpose of destroying whatever evidence you had, then your involuntary cooperation would also extend to revealing all hiding places, passwords, locations of keys, etc. So your character’s actions and answers would be indistinguishable whether she was a victim of their mind manipulation or just genuinely realized that she needed her phone back for some other purpose.

Since she would voluntarily provide them with all the information necessary to look like she was normal Brenda, and not mind-manipulated Brenda, when she came to their door asking for the phone back they could expect her to have all the correct answers.

After that, the professor was good enough to give me quite a bit more of his time to discuss ethics. Personally, I think he’s always been hot for my mom, who is just now coming out of her six-year long social withdrawal since being widowed, and maybe he thinks getting on her kids’ good sides might be helpful.

Later I reassured myself in my nightly journal, that what I was doing was ethical and moral. It was flimsy reasoning, I knew, and what I did was tantamount to seeking absolution from someone I was already sure would give it to me. Ultimately, it will not be time but Brenda herself who will tell; tell me if I did the right thing. So let’s get back to my “confession,” I suppose.

That thing Brenda feared would happen? It would work roughly in this way:

The pulse or signal (which we are no longer calling the Marky Mark signal because we have determined that it is not biochemically based in, and distributed by, plants... but in fact is likely of an electromagnetic nature) goes out into the universe to alter the minds of anyone who the Powers-That-Be determine has a knowledge of Stalko-Taco.

It tells these people: “go track down everything you have on Stalko-Taco. When you find it, destroy it. Then forget everything you know about Stalko-Taco.”

That would also apply to a personal vlog that they created which explains in detail exactly what Stalko-Taco is. Whether it’s on a device on their desk in their rooms, out in a storage bin in their garages, or in a desk drawer at their offices or wherever they work, it won’t matter.

They will go to whatever location necessary in order to get it. That also includes going to see a friend named Renaldo at his house – which for Brenda is quite a bit shorter a distance than most people’s average morning commute. But she’ll also drive the longer distance of almost 70 miles to get to Wheeler’s place in Austin.

If there really is a signal that can make people do this – destroy all evidence – then she’ll also cough up passwords, find keys, act normal or however she’s supposed to in order to get the things back from people...

The professor’s words still echoed through my head: even rent a jackhammer to extract “it” from a slab of cement if you had decided to hide it there.

The only way my character’s plan might work then, he conjectured, would be if she gave “Wheeler” the phone in a one-way transaction – admonishing him to “Never give it back to me for any reason, no matter how much I plead for it.” Instead, if she ends up dead under suspicious circumstances, or in a persistent vegetative state, or just generally acting goofy like her mind has been erased? He is to go Woodward-and-Bernstein and expose the video files to the world! Publicize it to the maximum extent possible.

I gave Professor Lowell the name Wheeler for the “other character” in all these cases, since I couldn’t very well use my own name. It was supposed to be fiction.

So when Brenda called me one afternoon just a few days later and said that she needed to come over for something soon, I already knew what it was going to be about even without her elaborating on the phone. I was fully prepared insofar as the hardware I would need; still not totally prepared in terms of my mindset. The guilt easily managed to taunt me through the holes in the pseudo-absolution process I had tried so hard to build for myself.

Why? Why all this guilt? Well, because I like Brenda, I suppose. And I’m just flat-out lying to her, stealing property from her, and burglarizing the house of a friend of hers... and ostensibly doing it all “for her own good.” How many times in human history has anyone who’s ever done something that they knew was wrong, but “for the right reason...” actually been right?

And when I say I like her, I don’t mean that I like her in that way. Brenda knows I’m gay. I’m fully out. As a popular girl who was walking between a clothing store and a makeup boutique with a group of her popular friends in her new town, she used her social currency to stop some guys from bullying me when I was waiting for my mom at a mall after summer school on my 14th birthday... before high school even started and before I had any idea at all... about what I was.

Now I have my network of people whom I feel safe enough around to wear my “Love is Love” t-shirt, which I also wore for the trip up to Austin to meet Wheeler for the second time. The first time I had on a different pride shirt. All I had needed to do was mention to the guy that Bren might be having some kind of trouble and I had his undivided attention.

Also, I hadn’t wanted to just blurt out the question and ask him: “are you gay?” But Babadook cosplay? Really? For some things you can simply read between the lines.

That, and what 18 year-old cis het-boy from Texas can even name ten prominent artists other than Andy Warhol, let alone give you detailed descriptions of them and their work? Or how many who even knew who Warhol was in the first place? It helped that Wheeler was cute too. I ran one of his Instagram photos through a “celebrity twin” or look-alike app to see who he reminded me of and it gave me some actor from an old Disney show that ended seven years ago. No, it wasn’t anyone I recognized. Well never mind that; We hit it off.

Weird Shapes

The artwork on their wall was different in a hip tech way, he thought. Not exactly a hologram but a diffraction grating sheet over some images perhaps? From their concealed positions and in their two-dimensional forms they heard him compliment Wheeler on it, since he knew by his reputation through Brenda that the dude was an artist.

The Princess of Pentacles, as that particular mass of quarks and leptons had come to be referenced by the ᢈᯒၔ᎘, had selected an excellent hiding place for them this time: a piece of Nancy’s avant-garde trash, as Princess Pentaculum called it.

“Oh, thanks man, but that’s actually one of my mom’s pieces. And yeah, it is some kind of diffraction grating that you’re viewing it through. She keeps changing the underlying images behind it and I’ve lost track, cause I’ve just been way busy lately.”

The shapes were “thrilled,” or whatever the close analog for it in their universe was: they immediately instructed the others to produce many extra batches of quarks and leptons for the Princess – in the form she liked: seventy-nine of the two-ups-and-a-down trios of quarks; enough of the two-down-and-one-up kind of trios to make it stable. Let some of the appropriate leptons tag along. The rules of charge in this strange universe will see to it that the right number automatically distribute themselves. A face centered cubic lattice for these blobs of matter. Let’s say, a thousand units. But no more than about 10²³ of the blobs per unit. Correction, the ᢈᯒၔ᎘ communicated to its assistant, multiply that by 0.950 and that should make them one “troy ounce” each.

Anything bigger than that made it difficult for her to move them on the “pawn shop” circuit... whatever that was supposed to mean. They didn’t really care to know all the nuances of her universe. The Princess was giving them the best results they’d ever seen in this dimension. They were happy with what they were seeing as the two human boys successfully defeated Agent Ranganathan’s best laid plans, backed up by the full strength of the Laniakea Supercluster Amphictiony. So, yes, they definitely wanted to keep The Princess of Pentacles happy.

The one called Renaldo looked on curiously at Nancy’s art. He didn’t have time for a detailed study. It was almost as if she’d placed a video image behind the grating sheet. As expected, it did that hologram-ish thing where you saw a different image as you walked back and forth, looking at slightly different angles. But it was almost too many images for just a hologram. A giant flat screen monitor behind the diffraction grating film might explain it.

Thoughts rang out loudly in his head, which the ᢈᯒၔ᎘ could read but not comprehend. The dude told himself to focus; never mind this art. He needed to learn the layout of the house and identify security measures, since his next visit here might very well be as a burglar.

A few hours later in her extended stay motel room, Eileen got off the bed in a hurry when a bi-location opened up about a meter above the middle of her mattress. It was just like the one the paranormal investigators were studying in Poltergeist. She knew it would be something good, but had to get clear of it to avoid bruising – these things were still utterly clueless about how physics worked in our universe.

Her bare feet were freezing on the simulated hardwood floor, but she looked on gleefully as the torrent poured in from another dimension. Before counting them, she made sure to arrange the tarot cards in a way that thanked them. She no longer had to introduce herself every time with the Princess of Pentacles card; they knew her well enough now. They got the size perfect: 31.103 grams each on her portable balance. And after grouping them into rows and columns, she realized that there were precisely one-thousand of them! Good, she thought, they’re learning to stick with base ten numbers for things, as she’d been trying to teach them.

Next, the tv. On! To the financial channel that always had that stock ticker scrolling across the bottom of the screen. Less than a minute wait to see the precious metals prices. It had spiked a bit in the last week. After her fences and contacts got their cuts, there would still be well over a million dollars left for her! It had been her most profitable day so far that year.

Continue on to next section…

If And Only If

by Michelle Viviénne de Vandahlcourte

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

First Edition. © December 16, 2015.

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inawickedlittletown · 7 years ago

Text

Walking The Wire (1/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn't know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I've taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony.

Enjoy.

2000

The fact of the matter was that paternity claims came in all the time. They weren’t an everyday thing, but they happened often enough that Pepper had actually gone through the trouble of creating a folder for them just so she could keep track. Jarvis helped to make correlations between the ones that were fairly possible, but everyone knew that while Tony liked to keep his bed warm that he was also a stickler for protection. Still, every contraceptive was only 99.99% effective so there was a whole set up to verify pregnancy and paternity if there even was a pregnancy. Some girls just showed up trying to get a marriage out of the claim, while others wanted a hand out. Pepper gave them nothing. Tony left it in her deft hands -- just like everything else -- and things just went on.

Then, came Mary Fitzpatrick.

Pepper had met Mary sometime after Mary started working for Stark Industries. She stood out a bit in part because her background wasn’t in mechanics but instead bio-chemical engineering. Pepper didn’t know the logistics behind what Mary did for Stark Industries, but she knew that Mary was a good conversationalist, absolutely brilliantly smart, and that she was beautiful. She looked the part of the kind of girl that Tony went for, but Pepper thought she was too smart to get ensnared in that web.

Mary had worked for Stark Industries for about a year before she met Tony. It happened at an office party and Pepper remembered seeing Tony break away from Obadiah to speak to her and had known that Tony would either charm Mary or get shot down hard.

Pepper knew everything about Tony and was in charge of almost every aspect of his life, so she was well aware of the moment when Happy picked Tony and Mary up and drove them back to Tony’s house.

Tony and Mary became friends. It surprised Pepper, at first, because Tony never befriended the women he took to bed, but she shouldn’t have been surprised because Mary was different and she seemed to keep up with Tony when it came to all the science talk. Tony even invited her into his workshop at SI a few times and they seemed to work well together. Pepper saw promise in the partnership and she could see how easily Mary could change Tony for the better.

2001

Two months later, Pepper found Mary crying outside her office.

Mary just whispered two words. “I’m pregnant” and Pepper knew. She invited Mary into her office and gave her a drink of water and let her calm down before asking if she was sure.

Mary gave her the full story. She had a long-distance relationship with a man named Richard Parker. He was in New York City but it was temporary and he was moving out to California to be with her and in the meanwhile they had an open-relationship to make things easier. Mary hadn’t expected for Tony to come into her life the way he did and she definitely didn’t love him. Mary loved Richard. There was no possible way for Richard to be the father and Mary hadn’t allowed herself to see anyone else in any sense except for Tony.

“So what do you want to do?” Pepper asked.

“I can’t have an abortion,” Mary said at once. Then, unlike all those other women claiming to be pregnant and carrying little Starks, Mary demanded that Pepper never tell Tony.

“I’ll talk to Richard. He’s -- he’s very understanding and we always wanted to have children. Tony doesn’t want kids. He doesn’t need this and this life he leads is not one that a child should be introduced to. This is my two weeks notice. I just need you not to tell Tony.”

Pepper couldn’t keep it from Tony. Not only did she not want to try to keep it a secret, but she knew enough about Tony Stark to know that secrets were not things he handled well. What he did handle well was being told how something was going to be.

“Mary Parker tendered her resignation. She’s pregnant, Tony.”

Tony’s expression was surprise and he was at a loss for words for once.

“She is leaving for New York in two weeks to her boyfriend. She doesn’t want anything except to be left alone. She’s going to raise the baby with her boyfriend or on her own. Mary didn’t even want me to tell you but I figured you should know.”

Tony responded just as Pepper had expected him to after the immediate shock had blown away.

“Set up a fund for the kid,” Tony said, “make it accessible on his or her 18th birthday and make sure that Mary gets some sort of paternal support. She has the right idea, you know, I wouldn’t be good for a baby.”

Mary sent Pepper pictures and stories and little tidbits about her and Tony’s son over the next four years and even though Tony never acted like he was interested, Pepper showed them to him and had Jarvis keep a file on him. Peter Parker was a beautiful boy with chubby cheeks, a huge smile, and just a tuft of brown hair on his head. His brown eyes were Tony’s and Pepper suspected that he would look more and more like Tony as he got older. Even though Tony had been reluctant to look at the pictures, once he did he seemed to be fascinated by them but even then he didn’t ask to contact Mary or ask to meet his son.

Every year brought more pictures and stories and a toddler Peter looked more and more like Tony had in the baby pictures that Pepper had found once in an old photo album. It was almost sad that they didn’t actually know Peter.

Then, Mary and Richard died.

2005

Pepper found out when May Parker called searching to Tony and for a long moment Pepper had feared that this woman who wasn’t even related to Peter by blood wanted Tony to step up and take his son or that worse she wanted some sort of incentive to keep the secret of Peter’s parentage. Having worked for SI for long enough, Pepper was well aware of how horrible some people were.

She was surprised when instead, May said: “My husband and I are going to take Peter in. He’s a wonderful kid and it’s what Mary and Richard wanted and specified in their will. I just figured that you might want to know. That Mr. Stark might want to know where his son is. He’s in good hands, Ms. Potts. Mary told us about Peter’s father and she always felt respected because Mr. Stark followed her wishes. These are her wishes.”

To Pepper it had felt a little bit like May was making sure that Tony wasn’t going to try and get custody because as Peter’s father he had more of a claim to be Peter’s guardian than May Parker did.

Since Tony had never expressed interest in actually meeting Peter, it felt better to just let May and Ben Parker take Peter. They were his family, after all, and Tony had only gotten worse since Mary. He had men and women both in and out of his bed and Pepper was just the face they saw in the morning on the way out. No one ever got as close to Tony as Mary had and while there were still paternity claims, none were true or Tony’s in one case. That girl had been happy the baby wasn’t Tony’s and so confused that Pepper had had to wonder about where he’d picked her up in the first place.

May didn’t send updates as often as Mary did, but she always sent a thank you note after all of Peter’s birthdays for the birthday gift that Pepper picked out and sent with Tony’s signature -- which she had perfected over the years. Along with it usually came a few pictures and tidbits about Peter’s day to day. Even though his parents were gone, Peter seemed well adjusted and happy.

Pepper knew that it didn’t matter what May sent because Tony looked in on Peter in his own way through Jarvis. He had files on him that had things like his school reports and medical records and all kinds of things that Tony really shouldn’t have had and yet there they were. He still sent money for Peter too and when that wasn’t enough made sure that Peter went to the best school in New York City, even if he was still just entering elementary school. He cared in his own ways, a care that intensified in some ways after Mary and Richard died.

Then, Afghanistan happened.

Chapter Two

#Peter and Tony fic #mcu fic #Tony is Peter's dad #dad!Tony #Peter Stark

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dailytechnologynews · 7 years ago

Photo

PCPer's Response to the Recent Ethical Concerns and Accusations

Hi hardware fans. It's been an eventful couple of days in the offices and home for me (and Allyn). A video from YouTube channel AdoredTV was posted late Thursday night (US eastern time) that directly attacked our credibility, which has been taken down, reposted, and taken down again. In all honesty, we tend to have a policy of not responding to verbal accusations online, because if we did, that's all anyone that writes reviews would ever do.

This one was more impactful though. We were called out directly by name (me and Allyn) and some very specific statements were made against our reviews on pcper.com and our new company at shroutreseach.com.

Most importantly from my point of view was that I woke up on Friday morning to find that I had been sent pictures of my home (and my office) from Google Maps along with my address from random viewers of this video. Obviously when you start to get into areas of personal and family safety, things get ratcheted up quite dramatically. With recent events showing that sometimes crazies on the internet can in fact do crazy things when incited, I was legitimately worried about my wife and daughter.

Jim at AdoredTV initially agreed to take the video down in an email exchange after I expressed those safety concerns. But after he didn't think I addressed all the points his video accusations covered in the response that I sent him (that will be included below), he re-posted it. After some more emails back and forth, he took the video back down as of Saturday morning.

At this point, I wanted to make sure that the response to his video that I sent him was public, so that the readers and viewers of both of our content can make their own decision.

In the end, I agreed to make edits to the FreeSync story/video that he brought up. These are reasonable points from him that would have simply required an email or phone call to address at the outset. We also added a disclosure statement to the end of our Intel 900P review in regards to Shrout Research. My statement of honesty in our review remains, but in order to be more transparent, the disclosure was added.

It's worth noting that not 48 hours before the original posting of AdoredTVs video, our team had been debating not about putting disclosures on the stories, but what the exact wording of them would be. This was prompted by a question sent in to our mailbag series our desire to be honest about things. This is still going to happen, but we are finalizing what that global statement will be.

I do think its important to note that despite the intent to paint it as such, there really are no black and white answers to this. Some will say that I should release financial statements. Some will say this is more than enough. I anticipate that he will still have some issues with our process, as will others. I accept that. We will continue to do what we think is best.

You'll find below a complete copy of an email exchange between Jim at AdoredTV and myself. It's a long read, one that I think is important in its entirety for those concerned about these allegations, but I've also prepared this more succinct list of our responses to the major issues.

Unfairness to FreeSync: We have made the edits/updates that the AdoredTV video called out. We believed at the time that our new article on the topic was adequate due diligence. While it is impossible for any outlet to update all published articles or videos every time something changes, we recognize that this was an important issue and we will try to do better about updating published content when appropriate. As for the FreeSync panel debate, the text of our review stated that the panels shared the same “specifications,” not that they were the same panels. However, in comments related to the article, we did state that the panels were the same. That was our error and we apologize.

General bias against AMD: We have worked with AMD for many years and have spoken with them both on and off the record countless times. The claims in the video that we did not convey pre-launch product concerns to AMD are false. PCPer was also not the first or only outlet to draw attention to the RX 480 power draw and Ryzen latency issues, and we worked extensively with AMD for months in advance of the release of our Frame Rating/FCAT testing. As for perceived bias, we treat all companies and products with respect and fairness, and it has never been suggested by the companies we cover that the reality is otherwise.

Radeon Affiliate Link: The first we heard about our Amazon affiliate tag being present in a link at the Radeon website was when Ryan Smith of AnandTech tweeted about it, as shown in the AdoredTV video. We have absolutely no idea how that link got there, and we received zero commissions or sales data on the Vega Frontier Edition as a result of it. Due to the fact that the affiliate tag present on the Radeon page is incorrect (it has an extra %20 at the end), we’re not even sure if it would have worked had someone inadvertently used it. But we reiterate that there is absolutely no arrangement, official or unofficial, that called for our affiliate link to be placed on AMD’s website.

Shrout Research & The Intel 900P Review: Intel hired Shrout Research to conduct testing of the 900P and produce a white paper for public release if the results were positive. We have conducted similar testing for many other companies, including AMD, and in most cases the information we provide is kept private for internal use at those companies. We also wrote a review of the 900P at pcper.com, with the timing of the release of both pieces dictated by the 900P embargo date. Contrary to the claims in the video, the review and the white paper were not the same. Separate testing was performed on different platforms, although one of the drives (the 480GB model), which was provided by Intel for the white paper, was also used in the review. In short, the tests performed were different, the results were different (in most cases lower in the pcper.com review), and Intel was not given pre-release access or control over the content of the review.

Disclosure: While we did not try to “hide” anything as was suggested in the video (Shrout Research, named after me, has a public website, twitter account, and has been mentioned and published often on our podcasts, weekly mailbag videos, on my Twitter account, and in my freelance writing bio), we failed to disclose the nature and extent of Shrout Research’s relationship with Intel on the 900P review at PCPer. That was our error. We will rectify this by adopting a complete disclosure policy for all reviews going forward, which will clearly state not just relationships related to Shrout Research, but also the terms of our review, any related advertisers, and any other potential conflicts that may appear. It was never our intent to deceive, and we still stand fully by the content of the 900P review, but we will attempt to do better about proper disclosure going forward.

(Times in the email reference a "current time" of about 10pm ET. Copy and paste is funny in Gmail.)

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 9:46 AM (12 hours ago)

to jim Do you have time to chat quickly today? Saw the video, I have lots of questions, many concerns, but most importantly a request. I can call you direct or on Skype, etc.

Jim P <*********> 12:38 PM (9 hours ago)

to me Hi Ryan.

Sorry I'm out all weekend and I'm actually not in my own place right now (I'm in Scotland but live in Sweden) and getting peace and quiet isn't very easy anyway. I might be available to talk a bit on Monday but if you have a request that needs dealing with sooner, feel free to shoot it to me and obviously I'll listen.

Regards,

Jim

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 1:18 PM (8 hours ago)

to Jim Jim,

I'm a little disappointed that you would be willing to post a video with those kinds of accusations without contacting me for input but unwilling to spend 15 minutes on the phone or Skype with me to address it. Although not your intent, we are at the point now of viewers of your content reaching out to me with pictures of my house on Google Maps with my address, as well as my office. Obviously with the recent occurrences in the world, and as the father of a two year old, this is something we take exceedingly seriously. I'm worried that your video and comments, though I disagree with almost all of them, are going to be used to cause more harm than you had intended.

I have a list of corrections and inaccuracies, as well as comments surround some of your concerns, that I am preparing. But I would greatly appreciate some assistance in controlling this situation.

AdoredTV 1:29 PM (8 hours ago)

to me Hi Ryan,

I just got back from the dentist and I'm currently at my sister's house in Scotland. It's dinner time here also. Tomorrow we celebrate my sisters birthday at another venue. What do you want me to do to help? Should I unlist the video? I'm willing to do that for now though it'll blow over in a couple of days anyway. Be aware that if I don't like your response to my points in the video, I wasn't joking when I said I left out more than I put in. I will not be manipulated, consider my offer to unlist the video the final chance of avoiding a real escalation. Regards,

Jim

Jim P 1:32 PM (8 hours ago)

to me Not sure if my previous response got through, resending...

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 1:42 PM (8 hours ago)

to Jim Jim,

I appreciate the offer to make the video unlisted. However, because the video will still be viewable from any number of sources with the URL, I think making it private would be more appropriate.

I plan to send you my responses and comments in private, or on a call, in order to address your questions and concerns in a way that does not endanger anyone's family. I understand that you may choose to take these emails public, and that is fine as I am not trying to hide anything. This can be an "on the record conversation" but the goal is to discuss in private, to understand each others points, without putting anyone else at risk.

Jim P 1:51 PM (8 hours ago)

to me I will make the video private, for now. And I will also write a tweet.

We'll talk later.

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 1:51 PM (8 hours ago)

to Jim Thank you for that. I will follow up with my comments today.

AdoredTV 5:12 PM (4 hours ago)

to me It's rapidly approaching end of day in Kentucky, Ryan. One more hour then the video goes public again. Cheers,

Jim

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 5:37 PM (4 hours ago)

to AdoredTV Hi Jim,

I saw your video posted on Jan 25th about me, Allyn Malventano, PC Perspective, and Shrout Research. While I think your intentions are earnest, I have some serious concerns about the accusations that are made and the facts of your story.

First, I think it is worth noting again that creating this kind of content without requesting input from the accused seems incredibly inflammatory and unfair. As you point out the code of ethics of journalism many times in your video, there are multiple references to “right to reply” that should exist during or at the same time. This opportunity was not given to us.

Second, the impact of your commentary, true or not, has the potential to cause harm to me, my team, and my family. Having already received pictures of my home and my address from viewers of your video, and with the recent events that have occurred around the world, I am now genuinely concerned about the safety of my family. Also in that code of ethics is a section on humanity: “Journalists should do no harm. What we publish or broadcast may be hurtful, but we should be aware of the impact of our words and images on the lives of others.”

The beginning of your accusations of bias on PC Perspective starts with our article on the first FreeSync monitors from 2015. The crux of your argument is that our team, including Allyn and myself, determined that FreeSync was the cause of the ghosting we saw on the display, though others indicated it was not a result of FreeSync, but rather the panel or integration itself. Our assertion at the time would have been that because FreeSync was the “certification brand” of this display, that in the end, regardless of the root technical cause, AMD and the FreeSync team were ultimately responsible. Our original story even details our inability to nail down the root cause of the problem.

*The question now is: why is this happening and does it have anything to do with G-Sync or FreeSync? NVIDIA has stated on a few occasions that there is more that goes into a VRR monitor than simply integrated vBlank extensions and have pointed to instances like this as an example as to why. Modern monitors are often tuned to a specific refresh rate – 144 Hz, 120 Hz, 60 Hz, etc. – and the power delivery to pixels is built to reduce ghosting and image defects. But in a situation where the refresh rate can literally be ANY rate, as we get with VRR displays, the LCD will very often be in these non-tuned refresh rates. NVIDIA claims its G-Sync module is tuned for each display to prevent ghosting by change the amount of voltage going to pixels at different refresh rates, allowing pixels to untwist and retwist at different rates.

It’s impossible now to know if that is the cause for the difference seen above. But with the ROG Swift and BenQ XL2730Z sharing the same 144 Hz TN panel specifications, there is obviously something different about the integration. It could be panel technology, it could be VRR technology or it could be settings in the monitor itself. We will be diving more into the issue as we spend more time with different FreeSync models.

For its part, AMD says that ghosting is an issue it is hoping to lessen on FreeSync monitors by helping partners pick the right components (Tcon, scalars, etc.) and to drive a “fast evolution” in this area.

Source: https://www.pcper.com/reviews/Displays/AMD-FreeSync-First-Impressions-and-Technical-Discussion/Gaming-Experience-FreeSync-*

You then bring up the fact that after we did discover that a firmware fix occurred (after our review), we posted a completely new article four months after our review recognizing the changes and improvements. There is a fair point to be made that we should have gone back to the original story and updated it with links to the new story. However, by doing a follow-up story and posting it in the same channels as the original (main site, video, Twitter, etc.) we believe we did due diligence here.

*In an industry that constantly changing with new hardware reviews, firmware updates, and even software and driver changes, keeping up with it is difficult. Extremely difficult. We will continue to find ways to do it better.

Any claims we made in comments or forums that panels in the competing G-Sync and FreeSync monitors were identical are false, and our error. But in our originally story, where articles are edited and curated, we state clearly that they shared the same “specifications”:

Source: https://www.pcper.com/reviews/Displays/AMD-FreeSync-First-Impressions-and-Technical-Discussion/Gaming-Experience-FreeSync-*

Should comments and forum posts have been more accurate? Yes.

You also mention our frequent streams with NVIDIA’s Tom Petersen as a source bias in our content. While we definitely have hosted Tom in our offices many times, the invite has always been open for any vendor we work with to co-host a live stream to talk to our audience. AMD has taken us up on these offers on seven specific instances:

· [https://www.pcper.com/news/Graphics-Cards/Live-Review-Recap-AMD-Radeon-HD-7970-GHz-]Edition(https://www.pcper.com/news/Graphics-Cards/Live-Review-Recap-AMD-Radeon-HD-7970-GHz-Edition)

· https://www.pcper.com/news/General-Tech/PCPer-Live-Interview-AMDs-Richard-Huddy-June-17th-4pm-ET-1pm-PT

· https://www.pcper.com/news/Graphics-Cards/PCPer-Live-AMD-Radeon-Crimson-Live-Stream-and-Giveaway

· https://www.pcper.com/news/General-Tech/PCPer-Live-Radeon-RX-480-Live-Stream-Raja-Koduri

· https://www.pcper.com/news/General-Tech/PCPer-Live-AMD-Radeon-Crimson-ReLive-Discussion-and-RX-480-Giveaway

· https://www.pcper.com/news/General-Tech/PCPer-Live-AMD-Radeon-Crimson-ReLive-Discussion-and-RX-580-Giveaway

· https://www.pcper.com/reviews/Graphics-Cards/AMD-Radeon-Software-Adrenalin-adds-game-overlay-mobile-app-wider-API-support

We probably have done more interviews with Tom than with AMD or any other vendor, but this is not indicative of anything other than NVIDIA’s desire to communicate with our audience slightly more frequently.

Next, you discuss the RX 480 power issue and indicate that PC Perspective’s stories were inflammatory and without merit. I would point out that not only did AMD acknowledge and fix the issue, but we were not the first media outlet to show the problem. Tom’s Hardware actually reported the problem first, and we linked to them in our first story on the topic. We worked with AMD to supply them with our data as we got it, to solicit input before, after, and during the story writing.

Another point brought up in your video is that PC Perspective appears to be willing to work behind the scenes with some companies to help fix problems and potential issues, but not with AMD. That is factually incorrect. We have worked with AMD in many instances, providing information before product releases, to help them fix problems.

Examples include our Frame Rating / FCAT testing, where we shared data, opinions, and insights with AMD months before the release of the first public story. On the Ryzen latency “ping test” we also sent information to AMD before publication to ask for input and feedback. When Ryzen motherboards were having significant issues at launch we worked with them and partners on updates and BIOS improvements in the background before reviewing those products. The facts are that we work with every company on the same level.

On the issue of AMD using an Amazon.com link that included our affiliate code, the first time I was aware of that was when the link and screenshot Anandtech’s Ryan Smith tweet was sent out. I never had any conversation with anyone at AMD about including it, or why it was there even after the fact. It was not something we asked for, expected, or benefitted from. A search of our Amazon.com affiliate data from July through today shows exactly zero Vega Frontier Edition cards sold on our account, from links on our articles or from AMD’s website.

Now let’s address the Shrout Research side of your story. Shrout Research was started in October of 2016 to allow us to offer services that we were being asked for from companies already, but separated from the PC Perspective website. It is probably fair to say that we have not been as open as we could or should have been about how this works.

But it is crucial to recognize that were not hiding this company or its relationship to me. The company and my position there is listed on my Twitter profile. We often link to ShroutResearch.com in stories posted on pcper.com. We have discussed Shrout Research on the podcast. I have answered questions about the company in mailbags from user-submitted questions. It is listed in my pcper.com profile page. Most (probably all) stories posted on MarketWatch or similar sites list my relationship to both companies. We link to the Shrout Research white papers (including the 900P paper) in some PC Perspective stories.

To address specific problems you have noted, I’ll start with the 900P paper and review. You claim that our test suite for the 900P review on PC Perspective was created for the Intel work done with Shrout Research. This is not true. The first review to use Allyn’s Latency Percentile performance testing methodology was with the launch of the Samsung 960 EVO in November of 2016 and research of this new testing process was first shown with the 950 PRO review in October of 2015. The 900P review was using this same testing method.

Furthermore, the testing that was showcased in the Shrout Research 900P white paper and the review differ greatly. You assert that the review on PC Perspective is simply a copy of the testing and work done on the research side, however looking at the paper and the review shows that isn’t the case. Benchmarks and analysis of applications like AS-SSD, CrystalDiskMark, Anvil, Photo Mechanic, and Houdini are in the paper, but were not used in the review. The data presented in the review is based on Allyn’s custom testing capabilities, of which only two small results are part of the white paper.

The testing for Shrout Research and PC Perspective testing of the 900P was done on different systems as well. The review data was gathered on our standard PCPer storage testing platform and the Shrout Research data was gathered on a platform that Intel specifically requested we configure. The review on PCPer used retail drives, the testing for Shrout Research was using engineering samples. Even more, the performance of the data results that do overlap are actually LOWER in the review on PC Perspective as they were tested on a different platform than the one used on the white paper. The results on PC Perspective and Shrout Research are not copies.

The concern over using hardware and devices received through Shrout Research arrangements for the review on PC Perspective is valid. Honestly, we didn’t see the harm (at the time) to include the second capacity of the 900P in our review as it presented more information to the reader. Was this unfair to others in the media? Probably. Have we seen numerous other exclusives come to websites (including us) over the years that weren’t fair to the media? Yes. Are samples often sent out differently from site to site? Absolutely. See the RX Vega launch most recently and many storage reviews that send different capacities and sets to reviewers.

If you follow PC Perspective at all, you know that we were going to publish a review on PC Perspective of the 900P regardless of the existence of the white paper or our arrangements with Intel. And our opinion of the product would not be have been swayed. Our agreement with Intel was to vet and evaluate the 900P so it could get an idea of how the device stood in the market and how it might be received in the public. The white paper was only to be written if Intel thought the results from our testing were positive in their eyes, however the fee Shrout Research was paid was the same regardless of whether or not the paper was produced.

Shrout Research currently works the biggest, and most competitive, companies in the high-tech world, including Intel, AMD, NVIDIA, Qualcomm, and Arm. We have done similar work for others on this list, in particular AMD. We have done evaluation of hardware prior to media and public device availability, to advise and showcase the performance as our team sees it. In those cases with AMD, which began in March of 2017, AMD used the reports internally and decided to not request a public paper from Shrout Research.

If any of these companies saw me, or Shrout Research, or anyone on our team as unreliable or capable of bias, they would have no reason to work with me, especially on the Shrout Research side. Instead, the 18+ years of work that I have under me and the positive results I have produced in terms of relevant, honest, and useful content leads them to partner with us to help make their products, messaging, and companies better.

As I said at the beginning, nothing about Shrout Research is hidden or was attempted to be secretive. Should we have been more explicit in some disclosures? Yes, clearly. Should we have been stricter in how product was shared between the two entities? Probably. It’s something we had honestly discussed just this past week, and this story further necessitates the need for it.

At the end of the day, the trust of the reader and the companies that work with us is paramount and the only thing that keeps us going. There will always be some individuals that don’t like us or have insurmountable distrust of us for some reason; it’s been that way for literally the last 18 years of my life. But I know that we attempt to treat every company equally, treat every product equally, and every situation equally.

Many people feel a sense of distrust around paid advertising on hardware sites. I obviously disagree that running ads for a company inherently means you are going to be biased towards them, and I have built and sustained PC Perspective on that very point, a similar application of trust must be applied here. If readers and viewers were able to trust our reviews for ASUS motherboards, despite running ASUS advertising on our site, or our videos on EVGA graphics cards despite running EVGA advertising on our site, then I feel that readers should continue to trust us as Shrout Research moves forward.

Here is a list of the companies that we have worked with on the advertising side in the last 10 years:

· AMD

· Antec

· ASUS

· BFG

· Cooler Master

· Corsair

· Crucial

· Diamond

· Drobo

· ECS

· Enermax

· EVGA

· FSP

· Galaxy

· Gigabyte

· Intel

· Logitech

· MSI

· Newegg

· NCIX

· NVIDIA

· OCZ / Toshiba

· Samsung

· Seasonic

· Silverstone

· Thermaltake

· Tiger Direct

· Western Digital

· XFX

· Zalman

There have been years where AMD is our biggest sponsor; several in fact. There are years where Logitech has been. ASUS is generally one of our biggest sponsors. The point I want to make here is that if you didn’t trust us before, there is little I can do to change that. But if you did trust us before, I think we have proven ourselves over the course of many years that the trust is warranted.

And for clarity, the companies we have worked with through Shrout Research:

· AMD

· Arm

· Intel

· NVIDIA

· Qualcomm

I believe that work that you do, despite our differences, is incredibly important to keeping people on their toes and maintaining sanity. I don’t believe that you have correctly portrayed the work we do or how we operate.We aren't perfect, I am not perfect. I don't believe any of us have ever made that claim. But I do know that you have taken our work and intent out of context.

If you still have to have a video calling us out for our practices, I obviously can’t stop you. But I would request that you fix the factual errors in your video. That includes the FreeSync story, the assertion that we don’t work with AMD prior to posting stories (including the ping testing and the RX 480 power), the affiliate link on AMD’s website, the lack of differences between the 900P white paper and the review, and that we have not been forthcoming (at all) about the existence and relationship of Shrout Research and PC Perspective.

I don’t consider this list of points exhaustive, by any means. I didn’t have time to re-watch or transcribe your video in order to dive into details on each and every point. Should something specific come to mind you want me to answer, let me know. If you have other question or problems with how we do things, or how we appear to be doing things from an external view, I’ll gladly answer them.

AdoredTV 7:14 PM (2 hours ago)

to me Thanks Ryan.

I feel you have raised some valid points however it's not nearly enough for me to keep the video private. Specifically, you failed to address the major points regarding conflict of interest and the "FreeSync vs G-Sync Ghosting Comparison" video, both of which have still not been rectified.

Can I again point to the EJN's article where it clearly states...

Accountability A sure sign of professionalism and responsible journalism is the ability to hold ourselves accountable. When we commit errors we must correct them and our expressions of regret must be sincere not cynical. We listen to the concerns of our audience. We may not change what readers write or say but we will always provide remedies when we are unfair.

I will have a closer look on Monday to see if you have remedied these faults before continuing with the rest of your response. Regards,

Jim

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 7:20 PM (2 hours ago)

to AdoredTV Okay. Can you expand for me the points about the comparison story and video that you believe are still concerning? Is it that we have not updated the video and text of the write up to reference the later story?

AdoredTV 8:02 PM (2 hours ago)

to me Hi Ryan.

Sure I'll expand on these points. 1) I see no reason why you would not have rectified your error with the "FreeSync vs G-Sync ghosting" video, given what you have had pointed out to you today. That is literally a 5 second edit to the title which you chose to ignore.

2) The Optane review still looks the same - that is there is still nothing advising the reader of any potential conflict of interest. I'm sure you're aware of all the FTC regulations regarding this subject - but please...neither of us has any desire to go down that route I'm sure. - Jim On a personal level - When your changes are complete, it would likely be beneficial to point them out on social media. You will gain far more from these two small actions than your current course ever will - and by that I mean you will regain respect from your viewers. My bet would be you'd also find it all very liberating, because pride is a terrible thing. It's very late here and this has taken up much of my day so forgive me as I have to retire to bed.

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 8:16 PM (1 hour ago)

to AdoredTV Honestly, I was planning to include links and updates, but, I didn't want it to look like I was doing something manipulative before we had some to some kind of resolution. I agree these are 5-second edits, and I say in my rather long feedback note that I thought it was a reasonable request. You instead immediately posted the video back up, which I didn't think would occur without the dialogue.

The same applies to the Optane review - not wanting to change ANYTHING on the site as it would look like we were trying to change things out from under you, or the community. I assure you that my lawyer and I have gone over the regulations in this country for disclosure before starting the company, we are know what the bounds of "legal" and "moral" are. Also, do you not think AMD/Intel/NVIDIA/Qualcomm/Arm have lawyers that vet every relationship like this? If I was breaking the law, they would never have me working with them.

Are you going to keep the video up, even if these edits occur? What about your claims of correcting content that is known to be incorrect, incomplete, inaccurate? That seems to violate the rule, does it not, with all of the information you have had sent your way?

AdoredTV 8:39 PM (1 hour ago)

to me If you had simply rectified or even given the indication that you were open to rectifying both issues then sure I would have taken that under consideration. There was nothing to suggest that either move would be made. As it was, you basically just regurgitated a bunch of text from your reviews which I've already read. This stuff doesn't translate very well across the Atlantic. I made the video private on good faith Ryan. I was the one who offered to unlist it, then I agreed to make it private on your suggestion. I did what I could reasonably be expected to do to help you but you didn't take the chance. These past hours have been filled with me fighting my own viewers over claims of weakness, selling out or other nonsense like legal threats forcing me to take it down. I spent the last 6 hours fighting my own viewers because of this.

I didn't have to deal with any of that but I did...because I gave you the chance. I was hoping for a real show of accountability and this is what your readers want to see too. Please just apologise Ryan - make a statement, show that you've removed/changed the title of the FreeSync Video and updated your Optane review. I promise you that I will not gloat - in fact I'd be far more likely to applaud you for it. If that is done by the time I wake tomorrow, I'll put the video private again. I need to sleep, it's 1:30 here.

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 9:21 PM (43 minutes ago)

to AdoredTV It is done. The point of the initial email was to have a discussion and clarify things. I'm disappointed that you would repost the video even after the concerns I brought up about some of the rash notes and emails I received.

Here is the video with updated title and link to the updated story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ylLnT2yKyA Here is the FS story with link at top of first page: https://www.pcper.com/reviews/Displays/AMD-FreeSync-First-Impressions-and-Technical-Discussion/Gaming-Experience-FreeSync- The bottom of this page discloses the specifics of the Intel 900P paper and review: https://www.pcper.com/reviews/Storage/Intel-Optane-SSD-900P-480GB-and-280GB-NVMe-HHHL-SSD-Review-Lots-3D-XPoint/Conclusion

I will likely post a thread on reddit to bring up the points that I brought up to you in the long email, since that information is already out there and in the public. No mal-intent intended to you there, just making sure the points I sent you are public.

Jim P 4:43 AM Saturday

to me Thanks Ryan.

I've decided to skip the party today and get a video out on this topic and to clarify what happens next, so that this can be avoided in future. I will put the video private at the same time. Regards,

Jim

Ryan Shrout [email protected] 10:39 AM Saturday

to Jim While I am sorry for you to miss your family event, I appreciate the removal of the video and whatever update you might have.

I will be posting our comments and thread here to reddit sometime this morning.

Congratulations, you reached the end!

Again, thanks for reading and for giving us a chance to state our position.

#hardware #Computer #Technology #Tech #News

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viralnewstime · 6 years ago

Link

Here is a strange little online community to puzzle at. Amazon has developed an unnerving, Stepford-like presence on Twitter in the form of several accounts of definitely real on-the-floor workers who regurgitate talking points and assure the world that all is right in the company’s infamously punishing warehouse jobs.

After Flamboyant Shoes Guy called out the phenomenon, I found 15 accounts (please don’t abuse them — they get enough of that already). All with “Amazon smiles” as their backgrounds and several with animals as profile pictures. All have the same bio structure: “(Job titles) @(warehouse shorthand location). (Duration) Amazonian. (2- or 3-item list of things they like.)” All have “FC Ambassador

” in their name. All have links to an Amazon warehouse tour service.

And all ceaselessly communicate upbeat messages about how great it is to work at an Amazon warehouse and assuring everyone that they are not being forced to do this. The messages all seem cut from the same cloth, frequently along the same exact patterns:

Hello! I work in an Amazon FC in WA and our wages and benefits are very good. Amazon pays FC employess ~30% more than traditional retail stores and offers full medical benefits from day 1. Working conditions are very good- clean/well lit- Safety is a top priority at my facility!

— Phil – Amazon FC Ambassador

(@AmazonFCPhil) August 17, 2018

Did you know that Amazon pays warehouse workers 30% more than other retailers? I feel proud to work for Amazon – they've taken good care of me. Much better than some of my previous employers.

— Shaye – Amazon FC Ambassador

(@AmazonFCShaye) August 21, 2018

On the contrary, we Amazon employees get paid very well. In fact Amazon pays fulfillment center employees ~30% more than traditional retail stores. On top of that we also get full health benefits that includes dental & vision! I almost forgot to mention…we also get stocks!

— Jeremy – Amazon FC Ambassador

(@AmazonFCJeremy) August 18, 2018

The workers say that they don’t receive compensation for being ambassadors; it’s a “totally optional role” they have taken on voluntarily (Update: turns out they are paid to do this). They also claim to be warehouse employees in the ordinary sense. If so, they’re putting their numbers at risk by taking the time out to bang out long tweets hourly on how great they’re doing.

Their most frequent topics of conversation are how they get bathroom breaks, the pleasant temperature of the warehouses, the excellent benefits and suitable wages, friendly management and how the job isn’t monotonous or tiring at all. FC Ambassador Carol, for example, is downright elated to be a picker, and is clearly a Bezos admirer.

I love "couch shopping!" It's ALMOST as much fun as being here at work in the FC. As a picker, we get to see all the unique things people purchase. It keeps the night interesting, waiting to see what is going to come across my screen next.

— Carol – Amazon FC Ambassador

(@AmazonFCCarol) August 23, 2018

Amazon has really developed into something pretty amazing since it's start in 1994. And I, for one, am sure glad it did. I have been with the co just over a year, now and wouldn't trade my time in the FC for anything.

— Carol – Amazon FC Ambassador

(@AmazonFCCarol) August 23, 2018

I can safely say that none of MY ideas have panned out anywhere near what Jeff Bezos has accomplished. I am more than happy, though, to continue working here, at BFI4, in WA. I receive a (more than fair) wage and work with some really good people. Making history, every day.

— Carol – Amazon FC Ambassador

(@AmazonFCCarol) August 23, 2018

You can practically hear the smile on her face.

I have a friend who worked as a picker for a while, admittedly some years back. He said it was some of the most mind-numbing yet physically demanding work he’s ever done. I understand that some folks may just be happy to have a job with full pay and benefits — I’d never begrudge anyone that, I’ve sure felt that — but the unanimous and highly specific positivity on display in these ambassador accounts really seems like something else.

It’s no secret, after all, that Amazon has an image problem when it comes to labor. Reports have for years described grueling labor at these “fulfillment centers,” where footsore workers must meet ever-increasing daily goals, their time rigidly structured and room for advancement cramped. Just recently Gizmodo’s Brian Menegus has had a couple of great stories on current — not past — labor conditions at the company, and of course there have been dozens of such stories detailing exploitation or generally poor conditions over the last few years. And not just here in the U.S., either.

Amazon latest to face UK complaint over ‘bogus self-employment’

Certainly Amazon may have improved those conditions. And certainly they would want to get the message out. But these accounts are equally certainly not the grassroots advocacy they seem to be. (There’s already a parody account, naturally, or perhaps one of the ambassadors slipped the leash.)

I’ve asked Amazon for more details on what this program really consists of, and how it comes to pass that warehouse workers are being not paid to monitor Twitter, regularly rebutting critics with clearly canned stats and the kind of forced humor one would imagine they would indulge in if their overalls hid a shock collar. I’ll update this post if I hear back.

Update: Amazon says these “FC ambassadors are employees who have experience working in our fulfilment centers. It’s important that we do a good job of educating people about the actual environment inside our fulfillment centers, and the FC ambassador program is a big part of that along with the fulfilment center tours we provide.”

And yes, they are paid to do this. Being an “FC ambassador” is a full-time job, it seems. I’ve asked for further details, since the ambassadors seem to imply they do this just as a bit of extra responsibility at their regular job because they like teaching others so much.

from Social – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/2BGnyWF

#Blogger

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number9580-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfuck and Trans Blogs to watch out for

The big sexy, hot, smart, fierce, masculine, amazing, handsome, strong, sweet, thoughtful, bulging, turgid list of Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfucking, Masculine-of-Center and Trans Blogs

The other day, I realized I had a hunger for new butch blogs to read. So I started trolling blogrolls and then realized ‘butch’ doesn’t cover all of what I’m looking for. What really peaks my interest are people talking about and living outside the gender binary. Though I started with a blogroll category of “Butches to Watch Out For”, I’ve changed that to “Bend it like …” because what I’m really trying to get at is the gender bending, defying the default gender system in favor of something that works for all of us.

I always feel a thrill when I find new blogs where the authors are exploring gender, pushing the envelope and redefining the definitions. Because my personal exploration is being done from the perspective of someone who started life female, bloggers who are on similar journeys appeal to me. I want to compare notes, I want to find new words, new ways of describing the smell, taste, sound and feeling of female-born masculinity. I now have a pretty good collection, some are friends I’ve met or chatted with, some are blogs I’ve found through the blogrolls of others. In each case, I’ve found s0me kind of kinship, something I can relate to and learn from.

It’s kind of funny that in the midst of building up my list of butches and others who bravely break stereotypes every day in diverse situations and lives, I found that ridiculous WikiHow article on How to Be a Butch. Clearly, the authors of that article haven’t met very many butches. I’m not going to be foolish enough to write a How To guide for butches, but I do invite you to visit these and look for others.

New as of 5/8/2014

Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide: now that I’m in the midst of evaluating options for medical transition, this website has become indispensable to me. Full of detailed, factual, non-judgmental information on all the things that come up for someone who is looking at options for transition from female assigned at birth to … something else on the masculine side. I especially geeked out on the explanation of the different formulations of testosterone, including chemical structure diagrams and the pros and cons of each formulation.

New as of 8/20/2013

NeutroisNonsense: I surprised myself the other day by finding out I hadn’t already added this blog, written by my friend Micah. Micah’s beginning to make a name around non-binary identities, asexuality and non-binary transitioning. Micah is one of my favorite people and has a lot of really smart, informative things to say about gender, identity and talks about the challenges and rewards of navigating through a binary world as a non-binary person. One of my trans* heroes,

Learning How To Tell You, BD Swain: This is a butch erotic blog after my own heart (or maybe somewhere lower). BD joins Sinclair Sexsmith and I in the very rare world of butch erotic writers and does it with pants tightening style. ”My name is BD Swain. I’m a butch dyke who enjoys writing queer smut – not just because it’s fun, but because sex and pushing my sexual expression is what makes me feel most alive. I am turned on by trust and by pushing the boundaries of it.”

New as of 4/12/2013

ButchOnTap: blogger Butch Jaxon says, “I see the world in a particular way. This blog is about how I see the world, both the good stuff (like beer) and the bad stuff (like idiots), but hopefully always funny.” Though I don’t always see eye to to eye with this blogger on all things butch, that hardly matters because it’s a big enough definition for all of us. This blogger has had a couple of articles on HuffPost (look for Tristan Higgins), will probably have more in the future, and is definitely a Butch to Watch Out For.

LGinDC: formerly the blogger known as G, of Can I Help You Sir, now in DC finding her way amongst the monuments and government entities, here’s what she has to say about herself and the blog, “I’m tall. I’m a smart-ass. I like eating with chopsticks. I’m butch. I love the Chicago Cubs and Bears. I’ve broken my nose twice. I love animals. I look horrible in yellow. I’m engaged. I love bourbon. I’m equally enamored with Beyonce and Ron Swanson. I’ll try just about anything once. I’m Irish. I live in Washington, DC. I’m a Scorpio. And I write about things.”

Genderqueer Pie Please: [no updates since 12/2013] blogger Jake Jacobsen says, “Genderqueer isn’t a new movement, it isn’t even a movement, or new, it’s been around a long, long time, as long as I can remember. Ways of being “out”, seen, heard, and conceptualized are continuously being created through our use of language, and not just by the so called sexual minority, but by everyone. Genderqueer is one of those fairly recent creative wordage attempts at redefining a lived experience of gender that is a reality for a portion of the population.”

The Brown Boi Project is a community of masculine of center womyn, men, two-spirit people, transmen, and our allies committed to transforming our privilege of masculinity, gender, and race into tools for achieving Racial and Gender Justice. These are great, energetic, dynamic people who are dedicated to their mission. If this is of interest to you, check out their website and get involved.

New as of 5/16/2012

Trans Vocals: [inactive] I’m glad to see my friend, Holden, is coming back to the blog-o-sphere. He’s got a new blog, Trans Vocals, and will be talking about his transformation and transition. I’m very happy to see this thoughtful, intelligent person generously offering to share his insights and progress with the rest of us.

New as of 05/12/2011

fuckyeahbutches: this is a tumblr on the theme of butches, from Jenny Shimizu, to old school butches to butches like, well, me. Check it out for eye-candy or for images of people who remind you of you and your friends.

Butch Wonders: this blog shows great promise with posts pondering the potential adverse effects of wearing a tie to interviews, defending her choice to wax and shave, and a great post on Butch Buddies.

New as of 04/19/2011

thoughts ON: [last post 12/2013] blogger Andy posted on the topic of being trans, but not enough to transition, for more on Andy’s thoughts on this ‘middleground’, read I AM trans. I just don’t try very hard. From Andy’s bio: Andy is a recent college graduate living in New England. When not engaged in queer activism Andy spends a lot of time kayaking, reading, and trying to change the world with a combination of twitter, church, and positive thinking while trying to decide on future plans which may, or may not, include ministry; but that’s the direction things are leaning right now. Andy works for various LGBTQ organizations and loves them all dearly.

(L)earned Masculinity: [last post 7/2012] this blogger used to post on a blog called Break it Down, Butch, but recently transitioned to this new space, acknowledging his passage from butch identified to trans identified. Add this one to your readers and follow DK on their journey down the genderbrick road. DK’s about page contains this line, one of my favorites found in anyone’s biography: My soul is blue and smells faintly of cedar.

Debonairgeek: I’m a nice guy. I am just trying to find my voice. Em wrote a post called,Deep Thoughts, talking about being butch and genderqueer and I really relate to almost all of what they’re saying. And, if you’ve ever wondered when and how to ‘pop your collar’ (and even if you haven’t), you should read this: entertaining, informative, funny.

MTF Butches (tumblr): This tumblr was inspired by the existence of other amazing tumblrs such as Fuck Yeah Cute Trans Chicks, Fuck Yeah FTMs, Femme FTM, as well as others. This page is meant to provide an additional empowering space for the multitude of trans* gender expressions. This is an inclusive space for the celebration of all butch, futch, butch-femme switches, grrls, genderqueer, genderfluid and other likewise MTF spectrum folk out there! Let’s represent some butch trans women!

Fuck Yeah FTMs (tumblr): Tumblr dedicated to FTMs, genderqueers, and others along that spectrum. Submissions are accepted, but moderated and you should follow the theme of the day: Muscle Mondays, Topless Tuesdays, We Wednesdays, Underwear Fridays, Fuzzy Sundays. Check the submission link for more information and guidelines.

New as of 01/25/2011

Gendercast: Our Transmasculine Genderqueery: Podcasts hosted by Sean Leao and Jessie. So far there are two podcasts, plus audio biographies from the hosts. Gendercast is a podcast looking to build community and we are encouraging participation at every turn. We speak to the entire transmasculine community, including genderqueer identified and beyond and of course, those who love them!

A Butch in the Kitchen. This blog gets into the nitty gritty of cooking butch with recipes, techniques and even some kitchen gear for the butch kitchen queer. She says she’s a novice but I’ll be her skills are just ready to be discovered. So far there are two recipes up: Cherry cobbler and ice cream bread. As a Butch Baker, I’m intrigued by these, but also looking forward to ideas in the appetizers and main courses categories. Butch in the Kitchen has a list of other food sites to check out and will also take submissions of recipes and photos from other cooks. I’m also wondering if anyone’s doing a Butch Cocktails site… hmmm.. maybe there’s a market for that. Follow this butch on twitter, as Butchndakitchen.

New as of 1/12/2011

Mixing it Up, JizLee.com: Genderqueer porn star, certifiably sexy individual, Jiz Lee says this about their blog — It’s a website and blog I run as a vehicle to share my experiences of sex and gender, film and photography. I hope it can provide a resource to queers and allies out there interested in my projects or wanting to find someone like themselves represented in the work I do and the ideas I express. Follow Jiz on twitter, check out their performances in the Crash Pad Series, the movie Champion and anywhere else you can. My personal connection is fleeting but squee worthy: I met Jiz at the New York City Sex Bloggers Calendar party in 2009 and mentioned I had this blog.. which Jiz totally knew about “Oh! You’re Kyle!” *hug* .. but that’s not all, Roxy introduced herself and got a very long, full body hug. I think that means Jiz approves of my taste in women

New as of 12/29/2010:

ButchLab: Sinclair Sexsmith’s latest contribution to the community: The mission of the Butch Lab Project is to promote a greater understanding of masculine of center gender identities, expressions, and presentations, through encouraging: 1. visibility, because we feel alone; 2. solidarity, because there are many of us out there, but we don’t always communicate with each other; and 3. an elevation of the discussion, because we have a long history and lineage to explore and we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Follow @butchlab on twitter as well.

On Being Butch: a very new and shiny butch-oriented blog by J-Rob, “I’ve only recently come to realize that butch is my gender, not just a role I play, and that has opened a lot of space for me to be who I am. Again, it’s odd, I’m 33 and I have been who I am my whole life, but I’m only just starting to understand what “who I am” actually means.”

Butch.org: by Jenni Olson, director of e-commerce at WolfeVideo.com and an LBGT queer cinema historian. Author of The Queer Movie Poster Book (2005, Chronicle Books), Jenni was also one of the founders of PlanetOut.com where she established the massive queer film industry resource, PopcornQ. She continues to write about queer films, as well as curating, collecting, and creating them. Her feature debut, The Joy of Life is now available on DVD.

Added 11/16/2010

Lesbian Neurotica, by Ulla, a butch dyke in South Africa who writes and draws cartoons and leaves thoughtful comments on a lot of the blogs I read.

Added 10/12/2010

A Stranger in This Place, by Wendi, who describes herself as “a motorcycle riding butch lesbian, retired accountant turned photographer and writer searching for her purpose in life and learning to enjoy the ride.” Wendi’s working on a book and participated in the Gender/Queer Spoken Word event for BV PDX on Sunday. I’m looking forward to reading more from Wendi.

Words of a Boi, by Jessie. This writer read something written during Sinclair’s writing workshop that stuck with me.. so much so that I instantly recognized it when I saw it on their blog a few days later. It’s a beautiful work of prosecomparing gender to a flower. This writer uses poetry, wonderful imagery and an openness that is very engaging.

Added 8/2/2010

Andi HB’s blog. Andi is a butch I met through twitter and another person who met and fell in love with someone through twitter (hey hey, Missy). Yes, the west coast butch fell for the Nawlins femme… can’t wait to see the Disney version. Andi’s a fan of all things Irish, the New Orleans Saints and, of course, Missy. Her latest post featured a damn fine pair of butch shoes. You can follow her on twitter as @andi_hb.

bracketabracket: [a] is a new blogger, just discovering the world of butch, trans, genderqueer, poly, BDSM blogs, since mid-june ’10, has been offering insights and stories of his own. Check out [a]‘s blog for posts about Transgender issues, BDSM and kink, Sex, Love, Relationships, Theater, Art, Politics.

Added 6/25/2010

Bron’s blog, Duct Tape Tomatoes, is new since May of this year, but already has me pulled in with her charm and honesty. I really, really love reading stories about people becoming themselves, it’s not only inspiring, it refuels me. The latest one that I really loved was The Manicure… butch gets mani/pedi, freezes at nail polish choices and plays Mario Brothers with new little brother.

Dear Diaspora isn’t a new blog, and a lot of you probably already read it, but I’m new to S. L. Bond’s view of the world. And that view, as communicated on DD is that of a Jewish Dyke and art student living in New Mexico.

Bee Listy is another blogger who’s been at it a while, Bee is a crafty, savvy butch who writes on a variety of topics. One post that really struck home with me recently was You know what’s awesome?, where Bee speaks of her frustration over the Butch-Trans border wars and wonders why some people don’t think there’s enough masculinity to go around for all those who want to claim it. Bee tweets as Beelisty.

Original list

Sugarbutch Chronicles: my gateway into the world of butch blogging and one of the most popular blogs around. Sinclair Sexsmith’s blog is your guide to sex toys, gender awareness and butch sexuality. After stalking Sinclair through blog posts and twitter for a long time, was happy to finally meet her in person at the New York Sex Bloggers Calendar Party last November. Over two years ago, when I discovered Sugarbutch Chronicles, what first caught my attention was the idea of butch erotic writing, which eventually led to the existence of Butchtastic. Sinclair lent support, practical advice and encouragement and has been a great source of inspiration. Sinclair tweets as @mrsexsmith.

Packing Vocals: Holden is one of my favorite butch erotic writers, a family guy, a snappy dresser and a good friend. Married to one of my favorite femmes, Femmeismygender, Holden tweets as @packingvocals.

NattNightly: Natt isn’t blogging as much anymore, but if you love beautiful writing and honest accounts of self-discovery and gender, it’s worth your time to read through the archives. I’ve been moved to tears more than once, from the sheer painful rawness of some stories and also from a severe case of writer’s envy. Having met and spent time with this super cool, super smart butch, I can say without question, Natt is very tall and is a lot of fun to hang out with. Natt tweets as @nattnightly.

Just Like Jesse James: This Seattle butch is an unabashed Cher fan and will also discourse at length on the virtues of the Golden Girls, if you just give her half a chance. Jesse blogs about Cher, life with her girlfriend and dog and the various other critters who inhabit their lives. Another blogger I’ve had the good fortune to meet and hang out with in real life, we live close enough to do it again, and we’re gonna, so watch out world. Jesse James tweets as @justjessejames.

Mina Meow/Aiden Fyre: Depending on when you meet this blogger you might think.. “Wow, hot femme” or “Mmmgrrr, who’s that sexy boi?” and you wouldn’t be wrong either way. Mina/Aiden is exploring gender thoroughly and with the kind of bravery, poise and intelligence we all should aspire to. This blogger writes about gender, sexual politics and how it all fits into the life of a “try-sexual”. I count it as one of the high points of my life that I’ve shared a deep passionate kiss with this hot and sexy blogger (and watched a make-out session with my girlfriend — yes, you should envy me). Follow on twitter as @aidenfyreand/or @minameow.

Butch GirlCat: Leo McCool isn’t blogging anymore but he was one of the first butch bloggers I gravitated to and fell in love with. Leo’s sometimes heart-wrenchingly honest stories about love, relationships and the journey to find his gender home are a must read for anyone else trying to find their way between the gender poles.

X-Ray Introductions: I first became aware of Arron when he was my secret Santa recipient and I sent him a cool metal studded belt and belt buckle. I finally met Arron during a visit to see Roxy in San Francisco. Over the years, I’ve enjoyed Arron’s video product reviews and stories about life. Arron tweets as @amok_.

The Freezing Flames: Firebolt is a genderqueer youth living in India, dealing with the challenges of a family that doesn’t get it in a society that really doesn’t get it. Firebolt is way ahead of where I was at that age, and living under much more trying circumstances, and has my unswerving admiration as a result. Tweets as @fireboltx.

Bren Ryder: Bren is the butch creative genius behind GoodDykePorn and as such, deserves our unending gratitude. Bren works hard to produce real, hot, queer porn with real queers. Bren is someone I know I’ll get to meet someday in RL, and I’m really looking forward to that. Bren tweets as @brenryder.

Jess I Am: Jess is courageous, thoughtful and honest in telling the story of how he went from being a butch to a transman. Life has handed him a lot of challenges in the past couple of years, but with his wife, Tina, at his side, he’s handled those challenges with grace and strength. I almost had the privilege of meeting these two during my trip to NYC, but it didn’t work out, but I have a very strong feeling we’ll all meet up at some point in RL. Jess tweets as @JessIAmBlog.

How to Be Butch: One of the newer blogs on my reader, Harrison doesn’t really try to tell you how to be butch, because, as the banner says “There’s more than one way”. Instead, you get some fun and insightful posts on Harrison’s exploration of butchness and gender and life. Harrison tweets as @HarrisonTB.

Sartorial Butch: A blog about butch fashion, the culinary arts and all around butch goodness. Another of my newer blog habits, SartorialButch is now featured on Butch-Femme.com and tweets as @SartorialButch.

She Called Me Superman: Yondergen’s blog tagline is “writing myself down so I can be found, or followed” and that’s really the goal of most of us who blog, isn’t it? Yondergen explores the butch-masculine-queer gender mix that is the heart of the matter for me as well. Plus baking, relationships, the quandaries of how to express and understand it all.

Musings from the High Speed Rodeo: Rhett’s writing is rapid and rhythmic, filled with great observations, honesty and humor. Rhett is the Asphalt Cowboy, go on over there, y’all, you’re in for a great ride.

Can I Help You, Sir?: Going by the initial, G, this butch blogs about gender, butchness and identity. G tweets as @canihelpyousir and has (had?) a regular feature called the Swoon List.

Lesbian Dad: I’ve had the Lesbian Dad on my reader for a long time. LD writes about her family, posts the sweetest pictures of her daughter and son and talks about parenting, politics and popular culture. My Suburban Butch Dad Reports were inspired by the Lesbian Dad. Follow her tweets @LesbianDad.

The Butchelor: another brave, honest blog from the perspective of a butch lesbian starting to come out as trans. Even though I’m not trans, I find myself relating to guys like this who are born in a body that doesn’t completely match who they are on the inside. It’s personal, it’s real, you should check it out. Tweets as @thebutchelor.

Break It Down, Butch: a blog I’ve discovered recently written by a butch who isn’t afraid to get it all out there. I appreciate the passion and honesty of this blogger and look forward to reading more.

Transitional Life (Life in Transition): Emmett takes us on his journey from butch to trans complete with family drama, changes brought on by testosterone, new names and the other challenges of life. Emmett is a lovely guy, wonderful with animals (he’s a vet tech) and people (especially kids, kids love him) and I wish him all the best as he continues on his journey. He’s got a YouTube channel, labradork1 where he’s been tracking the changes brought on by his transition. Emmett tweets as @friendtopups.

Butch Boo: BB is one of my earliest readers, a Brit Butch Blogger in London who recently posted a lovely grouping of pictures featuring butch footwear.

A Gender Queer View: Natasha Yar-Routh’s place on the web. A married gender queer trans-woman who posts short little nuggets of political observation and thoughts on life. Tweets as @xiomberg.

Gender Me Softly: The only couple-authored blog on my list, this blog is brand new, they just started this month. T. J. and Rhylee Flint share love, lives and blog space. Thad is a butch, likes the word ‘queer’ (so do I) and enjoys cultivating a masculine look through binding and packing. Rhylee is a queer female who’s exploring her gender and gender expression from a more femme perspective.

Gender Outlaw: this is a blog chronicling Joshua Riverdale’s FTM journey. Even though transitioning isn’t for me, I’ve learned a lot from his blog entries, videos and tweets, and appreciate his wit and intelligence. If you are curious about transitioning, or looking for genderqueer related resources (think binding, packing, etc), consider this blog and his website, transguys.com, as great starting points for the personal stories and resources. He’s got some of the best sideburns ever.. I’m totally having some envy over those. Josh tweets as @transguys.

Genderfork: this is a community blog, who’s mission is to support community for the expression of identities across the gender spectrum. They tweet as @genderfork and post profiles of genderqueer/fluid/variant folks.

Get Off My Lawn: wow.. now that’s a pretty grumpy blog title. Read the About Me and see a lot of bullet points.. this blogger loves bullet points, and was highly influenced by popular culture icons such as Matlock, Hank Hill and Mulder and Scully. As grumpy as the blog title is, I find this blogger highly amusing and fun to read, go check it out and see if you feel the same way. Tweets as @benjamin_bex.

Just a Big Guy with a Fun Sense of Sin: S. Bear Bergman’s Live Journal. I got to see Bear on a book reading tour with Ivan Coyote, and bought his book “The Nearest Exit May be Behind You” that night. Bear is a transman, new father and a gifted story teller. Bear tweets as @sbearbergman.

Visibly Transparent: Bear’s husband, Ishai, has a Live Journal as well. He carried their son Stanley and I can relate to his stories about the fertility clinic, pregnancy, birth and parenting.

Love Kills Slowly (tumblr): tumblr account of Val, known on twitter as @rugby8. Val posts pictures of sexy women, and the occasional quote.

somewhere in the middle: Nezu says it best “This is my place for looking at the middle ground of gender identity and sexual preference. And who knows, probably other stuff, too.” I’ve just begun to explore this writer’s musings about butchness, gender, identity and relationships.

TG Stone Butch Journal: Corey Alexander is a well-known queer kink/sex educator and writer. He can be found all over the country at conferences teaching and speaking on topics as diverse as polyamory, butch faggot play, stone sexuality and a myriad of other topics around gender and sexuality. Corey tweets as @tgstonebutch, look for his queer BDSM erotica under the nom de plum, Xan West.

The Man Sam: Son of T: Former female Sam Peterson tells all in this blog about transition. Looking forward to his chest reconstruction surgery thanks to ChestFest2010, Matt is wonderfully honest, funny and self-deprecating — a combination I particularly enjoy. Follow him on twitter as @ThaManSam.

Transfaggotry: Faggot Boi blogs about pronoun anxiety, leaving the lesbian identity behind, and other topics around becoming trans.

Transifesto: Matt Kailey’s place on the web. Matt shares information and his thoughts on transgender and transsexual issues. He’s a nationally recognized speaker and author on transgender issues and tweets as @MattKailey.

Androgynanomous: DPR (Dread Pirate Roberts) is the sweetheart of one of my favorite online people, Scintillectual. DPR just started blogging not long ago, but has already established a rhythm with poetry, musings on gender and sweet, sensual tributes to her lover. Tweets as @dread_pyrate.

butchboi: this site is run by the infamous Leo, of the Big Pink House. This is a site for cruising and networking, for those who identify as butch, boi, trans, gender queer, stud, drag king & their friends. The free membership opens up some features: forums, events and cruising, videos and a chatroom. The Cruising feature is fun, you can hone in your search by age, geography with more features available to subscribers. Check out the tweets from @ButchBoiLeo and @ButchBoi and@BigPinkHouse to keep up with the ButchBoi happenins.

This is the list so far, I like the length and heft of it (heh!) and I really like the diversity. The bloggers on this list have a stories to tell, experiences to share and I will continue to learn a lot from them. The breadth of this group, from the more female identified butch to the more male identified trans, meet the needs I have to explore the many facets and identities within me. There are some super smart people on this list, and funny too… great writers, open-hearted honest people, sometimes frustrated, but trying to make the world a better place for themselves and others. It may be hubris on my part to count myself as one of them, but these people have nurtured, coached and supported my journey as well. Even if we don’t make the same decisions, or come to the same conclusions, we’re all asking the same kind of questions, and questioning the same assumptions.

I encourage you to visit these blogs, read their stories and add them to your regular rotation if they appeal to you. And if I’ve left someone out, someone you think would fit into this list, please be so kind as to introduce me to them.

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