#update new tag sorry queen
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We Found Love
charles leclerc x female reader (smau) 1/2
summary: you and charles were meant to be together even if the media, society and his girlfriend criticized you.
trope: childhood friends to lovers, ferrari driver x head strategist , mean gf (no hate to any of charles' gf's, ex or current.)
a/n: i know i know im the worst updater and writer ever (I'm sorry okay 😭 I'm busy and I lose motivation lol)but im back slowly but surely, and this is so new! My first F1 fic aahh :D This is very small, I just needed to get this out (monza took my heart away!) hope y'all like it hehe xx.
Months before MONZA
ursernames
life lately - enjoying the break before it's Monza ❤️🔥🌷🌺🌠🪽🥨🍽️🪡⌨️👠💎
iked by charles_leclerc,mlnmarta, and 1M others
lewishamilton looks like someone had fun!
⤷ ursernames obviously mate 🧉!!
charles_leclerc wannabe artistic ass 😘😻🤡
⤷ ursernames shut up donkey 🐴🫏😊
kikagomez 💫💗
liked by author
@Ynniequeenn
I'm surprised Charles isn't spending the vacay with her. Sounds fishy but they still act close 😕. I don't know man.
⤷ @chrshls: people like you suck! get a life.
charles_leclerc
everything is good 🩵
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, ursername and 4M others
joristrouche amazing!
ursernames leooo awwww
liked by author
pierregasly simba and leo meetup soon? 😂
⤷ charles_leclerc soon!
alexandrasaintmleux amores <3
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ursernames
thank you for the wishes everyone, just took another lap around the earth 🌍 🌷🌺🩵
liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz and 5M others.
formula_1 happy birthday to the best-ever strategist!
liked by author
scuderiaferrari buon compleanno stargirl!
⤷ ursernames grazie mille!
charles_leclerc joyeux anniversaire ma meilleure fille
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mlnmarta joyeux anniversaire ma soeur
⤷ usernames 💞💞
oscarpiastri have a great day old lady 🥳
⤷ ursername when i catch you oscar when i bloody catch you! 😵😵
f1wags&insiders
BREAKING 🚨 Charles Leclerc and Alexandra Saint Mluex were fighting at a party! Apparently, it was the same birthday party held for Y/N's 27th birthday. What are your thoughts 💭?
liked by 40K others
alexfp i just can't stand this anymore! It's clear that something's up with charles 😐
leclecice bro, alex is straight up toxic just admit it she is NOT a paddock queen neither the IT wag ughh 🥱🥱
lestappenfpp time for charles WDC lesgoo
ynstan will charles and yn ever date? they have that CHEMISTRY yk
malenalexx it's definitely something to do with charles
⤷ unknownchaaa smartest alex fan..
ynstrategyss literally how crazy can Alex even get until they fuck up yns birthday party?! seriously i lost my respect for her.
alexandrasaintmluex
🌺🌺 floral vibes 🌺🌺
liked by joristrouche and 100K others
alexfp omg our queen 👑!!
foralexa hi alexx i hope you're doing well ❤️🩹 you look gorgeous btw 🤩
liked by author
kikagomez 💫😵⭐
rebeccadonaldson literally so pretty 🌺🌺
⤷ alexandrasaintmluex says the prettiest!
charlesfanpage charles not in the likes? sus.
leclecicecreammm someone's tryna churn content asap b4 the breakup LOLL
⤷ alexandrasaintmluex you're hilarious. 🥱
ynstrategyss hope y'all okay...
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
2 weeks before Monza, at the Ferrari HQ
"Hey, can we talk, please?" Charles asked Yn as the meeting begun to wrap up.
"What do you want, Charles? Does making me look like a fool on my birthday not enough?!" You said very honestly.
"No,no, mon cher, listen to me."
"I'm sorry for whatever Alex caused during your birthday party. I wanted the party to be nice and surrounded by your close friend's and family. I'm regretful I chose to bring Alex as a tag along. She wanted to go and I can't say no anyways."
"What's your point, Charles? I'm tired of this drama. I am." You said,
"Yn, we've been friends since so young, we spent almost every day with eachother, basically inseparable. Maman practically consideres you her the daughter she never had and you're really close to my family and brothers. Even with my exes you had a close bond with them."
"Mhm, that's right I loved your exes." You said slightly smiling,
"Ever since I dated Alex, she.... she liked fame and attention. Even if she didn't show it much. And when she saw us being close and basically just friends, she got mad and jealous. I didn't realise much until you told me when she confronted you."
"She reads a lot of the news, tweets and those tiktok edits of us that is all over social media. She is influenced by them. And I honestly don't get how they consider our bond romantic but not platonic."
"Alex has been fighting a lot with me past few months. We are not close, anymore. Not liked we used to be. She's constantly screaming and I can't stand her anymore."
"Mon ange, whatever happens with you and her, please... just tell me. I saw the texts she sent you and it wasn't pleasant. Why have you been keeping this a secret. Please ange, don't do it anymore."
"I don't know how longer I can sustain this relationship if it continues to be as toxic as this." Charles said earning a pout from you.
" Charlie, I wanted to see you happy with Alex. I'm sorry about what's been happening at home. I'm sorry too.." you said,
" Are we good?"
"Yeah we are, Charlie" you said, earning a tight hug from you best friend.
It's undeniable that you've always liked Charles. He was handsome, he was everything a women could've dreamt of. And obviously you're one of them. You'd never had the chance to confess and you think you'd never will. It's better to blossom a good, sustainable friendship rather than risking it all for a relationship. Your a simple person, you're critical and realistic.
When Alex confronted you about your relationship with Charles, it hit you till the pit of your heart. You begun thinking if you were too clingy or romantic with Charles. You begun distancing yourself from him thinking you were at fault. You did not want to be a homewrecker,ever.
Although Charles confrontation settled a little of your thoughts, you cannot deny the growing feelings for Charles in that heart of yours.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
charles_leclerc
P4. Deluso ma abbiamo dato tutto. Grazie a tutti voi per esserci sempre. E domani, andiamoooooo 😍
liked by carlossainz,oscarpiastri, ursername and 3M others
ursername let's get it ✨✨
speedingcharles we counting on u buddy
anthoinetrouchet let's get it ittttttttt aaa
alexandrasaintmluex 💕
ursername
story, 1hr ago
feels great to back in monza! hoping to make tifosi's proud this weekend 🇮🇹 Let's see what we can do with a P4 and P5.
RACE DAY IN MONZA.
⭐⭐⭐
@F1LiveUpdates:
"Lights out at Monza! Charles Leclerc is in the fight for P1, but all eyes are on Ferrari’s strategy today. Y/N calling the shots 👀 #Monza #CharlesLeclerc #Ferrari"
@LeclercFans:
"Y/N on the pit wall, looking like a boss. Monza is hers to win 🔥 #YN #FerrariFam"
Your heart raced as you watched the battle unfold in front of your eyes. Charles was in second, fighting tooth and nail to close the gap on the leader. Your freshly manicured nails hovered over the radio button, ready to call the next move.
The crowd roared in the background, but your focus was razor-sharp. Charles trusted your instincts, and you wasn’t about to let him down.
Y/N (over radio):
"Box, box. Let’s go for the undercut."
Charles
"Copy. Trusting you on this."
The team jumped into action as Charles pitted. Y/N watched with bated breath, hoping the strategy would pay off.
As Charles emerged from the pits, your hands clenched into a fist. The timing was perfect. They had nailed it. It will take time to pass through lando but it'll be worth it. And you knew it.
Y/N (over radio):
"P1. 35 laps ahead. Now hold it. You’ve got this."
The crowd was deafening as the final lap approached. You stood with her arms crossed, staring at the screens, barely blinking. Charles had a three-second lead, but the pressure was immense. Your heart pounded in time with the roar of the engines.
Y/N (over radio):
"Last lap, Charles. Bring it home."
You held her breath as the checkered flag waved and the roar from the grandstands signaled what you'd hoped for.
Charles (over radio):
"We did it! P1! We won, Y/N!"
Bryan (over radio)
"AND P1!"
@F1Live:
"Leclerc takes P1 at Monza! What a race! Ferrari fans are going wild! #CharlesLeclerc #Monza"
@FerrariFans:
"Y/N’s strategy today was perfection. Absolute genius. 🔥 #TeamYN #Ferrari"
@LeclercNation:
"Y/N hugging Charles after that win? Yeah, there’s something there. No one can convince me otherwise. #CharlesAndYN"
charles_leclerc
Siete i numeri 1, Forza Ferrari ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
liked by ursername,alexandrasaintmluex, lewishamilton and 10M others
ursername congrats charliee <3
liked by author
⤷ charles_leclerc couldn't done it without you, yn 😘
formula_1 tifosi's pride and joy
lewishamilton enjoy the win mate! great job
oscarpiastri congrats charles!
pascale_leclerc my boy
liked by author
⤷charles_leclerc i didnt leave you at the gransdstands this time 😂
ursername
story, 2h ago
FEVER DREAM!! GRAZIE GRAZIE TUTTI MILLE!
@LeclercNation:
"Alexandra needs to chill. Y/N is just doing her job. She’s a strategist, not a homewrecker! #TeamYN"
formula_1
leo meets his papa who just won the italian grand prix! lovely family at sight 🐕🐶🐾
liked by mlnmarta,alexandrasaintmluex and 2M others
alexfp ahh the cutiess, though she wasn't here but mah queen is always here to shine
alexandrasaintmluex 😍
lecleccreamss since when did F1 turn into a wag thing. Seriously F1? This content is unnecessary!
alexandramyqueen omg our couple is back yayyy
mimosahater @F1Dramaa post. look at this post.
@F1Drama:
"Rumors are flying that Y/N and Alexandra had a heated argument in the Ferrari garage. How much longer can this triangle last? #CharlesLeclerc #YN"
@FerrariInsider:
"It’s getting messy. Y/N is too professional to get involved, but Alexandra seems to be on edge. #F1Gossip #FerrariDrama"
@LeclercNation:
"Y/N is just trying to do her job, but Alex is clearly feeling threatened. Charles needs to step up. #TeamYN"
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
You were packing up in the garage, getting reading to back to the hotel, when Alexandra appeared at the doorway. She looked calm, but there was a fire in her eyes.
"We need to talk." Alex said
You set down your notes, bracing yourself. You replied, "About what?"
"About Charles. About you."
"I’m just doing my job, Alexandra. If you think I’m trying to come between you two, you’re wrong."
Alexandra crossed her arms, stepping closer. "I don’t know if I believe that. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. I’m not stupid!"
Your jaw clenched. "You’re right. You’re not stupid. But you’re also insecure. And that’s not my problem. I’m here because I’m good at what I do, and Charles knows that."
"Insecure?" Alexandra’s voice was laced with venom. "Do you have any idea what it’s like watching him put you before me over and over again?"
"He doesn’t put me before you, Alexandra. He’s just focused on his career. If you can’t handle that, maybe the problem isn’t me. Maybe it’s your relationship."
Alexandra stared at you, her expression hardening. "You think you’re so untouchable, don’t you? That because you’re the team strategist, you’re safe. But I see the way you want him."
You took a deep breath, stepping forward. "If you’re so sure about that, then maybe you should talk to Charles instead of blaming me."
"Look here, Charles just won the Italian grandprix. It's a big celebration for team. Let's be happy for the win, instead of bringing this up, now."
"Have a great day, Alexandra" you said and left the paddock without any hesitation.
ursername
thank you bryan, charles, carlos, fred and the team for making this strategy happen! to our biggest supporters, the tifosi ❤️🔥❤️🔥
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 6M others
lewishamilton absolutely fantastic strategy yn, you made it happen 👑👑
⤷ ursername i absolutely cannot wait for you to get on this team any longer!! tysm lewis, really appreciate it 💕💕💫
charles_leclerc tu as réalisé mon plus grand rêve, merci ma belle stratège, ma meilleure amie bien-aimée 🥇🥇🥳🥳❤️❤️❤️
⤷ ursername you were behind the wheel, you make us all dream mon rêveur, mon soleil 🩷🩷
mlnmarta such a shame i wasn't able to witness this but again, ma petite sœur, tu nous fais tous rêver 🥹
⤷ ursername tu aimes me faire pleurer 🥹❤️
After the Azerbaijan Grand Prix
charles_leclerc
story, 2m ago
Part 2 when?
#Spotify#charles leclerc#cl16#formula 1#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#cl16 x reader#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 imagines#f1 social media au#smau#Charles Leclerc smau#charles leclerc smau#bykshre fics#alexandra saint mleux#x yn
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RED FERRARI CHASE | 06
MAIN | MASTERLIST | IRL & Social Media AU
Pairing — F1 Driver!Rafe x High School Sweetheart!(F)Reader
Summary — Before Rafe became one of the best drivers on the grid, he was yours. However, when his popularity skyrocketed, he became one of the most eligible bachelors in F1, leaving you behind to indulge in the notoriety of the sport. Yet, years have passed, and he hasn’t stopped thinking about you: his first love, his high school sweetheart, the only person to believe in him. When new management takes over his team, he’s afraid their new strategy could undermine his role in the cutthroat league. But in an unexpected twist of fate, Rafe discovers you returning to the circuit as part of the new leadership—now, with a ring on your finger. Engaged to his boss.
Content — formula one au
Navigation — Part 05 | Part 06 | Part 07
IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT TAGLIST AND UPDATES: if you want to be notified about all my fics and updates, follow @zyafics-library and turn on notifications! however, if you want to be added to this specific taglist, let me know (but to remain tagged, you must interact with the posts).
TAGLIST FOR RFC: @nemesyaaa / @inthelibrarybtw / @promiscuousg1rl / @st4rlveur / @maybankiara / @harrys-housewife / @tashiagalinda / @bradshawed / @papercranesandinkstains / @murdockcastleslut / @yuckblushin / @helaenas-queen / @perfectprettypisces / @xoxosblogsblog / @w11ore4rina / @aias-fxtns / @searecs / @drewsephrry / @ilovefiction4lmen / @maybankslover / @krtsvig / @evelynffics / @elixirina / @vex-et-soleil / @frankoceanluvr11 / @adribarbie / @chenslucy / @lilithblackkk / @eviiiiieeeeeeeeee / @psychicnatural / @rafeslovergirl / @colbysbrocks / @a-lovers-card / @fahiries / @judesgfirl / @darlingchronicles / @xoxo-ada / @urbrunettebombshell / @cherrygirlfriend / @psychocitylights / @lou-la-lou / @stelleduarte / @yolgart / @faephoria / @zuccheromorena / @cameronspecial / @rafecameronswifeyy / @sweetgoldwoman / @the0neandonlyjules
Zya's Post Notes: So sorry for the short update, and relatively anti-climatic. I was stuck on this part, and wanted to go to the next part, so this is just the filler for it.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron social media au#rafe cameron smau#rafe x you#obx#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe fic#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx x reader#rafe cameron x female reader#outer banks#rafe cameron and you#rafe cameron and reader#rafe cameron and y/n#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe social media au#outer banks fanfiction#f1 x reader#rafe cameron texts#rafe smut#rafe x reader#outerbanks smau#rafe imagine
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Off Track Pace | MV1 , ?
Ships Max Verstappen x presenter! Reader , ? x presenter! Reader , Platonic! Charles Leclerc x presenter! Reader
Genre : Fluff , Angst
Sub tags : mutual pinning , She fell too early , He fell too late,
Summary : A new f1 presenter and journalist has entered the paddock and she brings chaos along the way. And as competition looms , will the current Champion be as fast outside the track?
Face claim: Sofia Wylie
A/N : I’m so sorry luvs! I’m working on updating Clash of Champions , i promise ~ it’s my uni’s finals exams so I gotta focus on that first… so here’s a peace offering.
Part 2.
Media day, usually on a Thursday — a day that most Formula 1 drivers dread. A day where cameras followed their every move, interviews with journalists that twisted their every word and silly PR stunts forced on them by their teams. It used to be just all racing and winning podiums, but modern Formula 1 is all about media politics and sponsorships.
If you were to ask any driver on the grid if they were given the chance not to do PR, they would say yes to skipping it. But not everything about media day is horrendous.
Not when a new motorsports journalist joins the paddock that was an absolute sweetheart and delight to have around. A natural on the job — she always made sure that every driver that she interviewed was comfortable and enjoying their time with her and the segment.
the.Y/N
liked by skysportsf1 , lissiemackintosh, f1 , and 689,270 others
the.Y/N first day on the job? . i’m not nervous, you are! (She said literally shaking)
skysportsf1 Welcome to the team Y/N! ❤️
the.Y/N thank you kind employers. 🤍
lissiemackintosh Babe!! It’s finally official. Congratulations!
the.Y/N Thanks to you Babe!! I swear I would’ve been lost without you 😭
User1 who is she?
the.Y/N literally no one
User2 Ohhhh a new commentator? 🤔
User3 maybe she’s a journalist?
scuderriaferrari the kids had fun. They want their clay statues on display!
User2 Clay statues?? Hello?? Wut?
User3 Same question, Clay statues??
the.Y/N wait and see 🤷♀️ , the interview would drop tomorrow? Maybe~
User4 Its her first day and she literally had an interview with Charles and Carlos in Ferrari???
the.Y/N well no , the first interview was with Lewis Hamilton … so. 🤭
User5 WHAT?? Ok , queen slay!
User4 damnn , imagine being new to your field and already interviewing the big guys.
mclaren Do us next please 🙋♂️
redbullracing get in line!
the.Y/N gotta stop by Aston first , sorry besties.
User6 OK WHAT IS HAPPENING, ms. Y/N who are your connections 😭 i want in.
User7 why are all the teams here??
Y/N L/N was the F1 presenter and journalist who put drivers willingly out of their comfort zones and made them try something new. You genuinely loved what you do and you were passionate about it. You never showed partiality among the drivers, you treated everyone with the same attitude — this earned the respect of all drivers on the grid.
You were quickly becoming a paddock favorite. The fans enjoyed the content you put out and the drivers looked forward to your interview when they saw your name on their schedule.
Interviewing with you usually meant cheat meals and unusual activities that you thought they would like.
the.Y/N
liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 740,155 others
the.Y/N maybe bowling isn’t the best idea. @charles_leclerc you suck, ngl. New vid out on Monday at the sky sports channel🤍
charles_leclerc i hate you ❤️
the.Y/N no you don’t 😌
charles_leclerc no, i don’t
User1 I love their dynamic so much!! I need more of the Paddock siblings pleaseee
User2 I can’t wait for more of Y/N bullying Charles into weird things and Ferrari doing nothing about it🤣
landonorris but why is charles in a cowboy costume?
the.Y/N i dunno? He just showed up in that 🤷♀️
charles_leclerc You told me we were riding horses and you wanted me to wear smth cowboy!!
the.Y/N oh yeah! Lmao
landonorris should i feel bad?
the.Y/N Nope. He’s happy either way. Aren’t you @charles_leclerc?
User2 NOT THE LMAO . Y/N thank you being you
User3 Y/N giving us Cowboy Charles , yes ma’am
User3 JUST DATE ALREADY!
the.Y/N EW. No
charles_leclerc Ok , the ew was unnecessary. But same. No thanks :)) i’m not dating my sister .
User4 Charles call y/n his sister 🥺
However, No matter how much you tried to keep things professional by being just a driver: journalist, something your boss commented during a quick meeting because fans kept shipping you with every driver. What you found weird is that most drivers you see as older brothers and some even uncles (don’t tell Nando). Plus most of them had girlfriends!
Nevertheless, your relationship with them seems to always end up with them hanging around your office at Sky, whenever they are free. Even the older drivers like Nando, Lewis and even Nico and Kevin use your office as an escape from the chaos of their motorhomes.
You didn’t mind hosting the older drivers in your room, as they were usually tame and kept to themselves as they read the books on your shelves in peace. They usually plop themselves down your couch and place the oversized plush you always bring on their lap. They always brought you snacks, so you looked forward to the times when their heads popped in your door and asked if they could come in.
But when the younger drivers visit your office? And if they came in groups — which they usually do. Oh boy, it was either a clusterfuck of them stealing snacks from your secret stash or your office becoming a den for hot gossip in the paddock usually led by the one and only Charles Leclerc.
Case in point. You now have Charles, Carlos, Max and to your surprise Checo in your office. The older Spanish-speaking driver was a rare visitor, but a welcome one nonetheless.
But considering the topic in discussion, you understood the presence of the two Red Bull drivers.
You were in the middle of typing away on your laptop when suddenly they barged in with ice cream tubs and spoons at hand then found a spot to sit and made themselves comfortable.
“Is Newey leaving Red Bull?” Charles asked Max and Checo, as he scooped a bite from his ice cream.
“We have no clue! Christian is saying nothing to us. Nothing” Max exclaimed exasperated as Checo nodded in agreement.
“So Adrian Newey is moving to Ferrari?” You questioned as you pointed your spoon at Charles
“Y/N, I love you like a sister and I know that you’re incredibly smart, but sometimes you are stupid. We’re clueless in Ferrari, hence my question ”
You threw your wooden spoon at the Monaco-born Ferrari driver. Which he easily avoided thanks to his fast reflexes. Freaking f1 reflexes!
“ I wasn't the person who got named for being stupid— HEY! Max give that back!! You don't even like salted caramel” You were trying to rebut Charles’ insult but were distracted when Max took your ice cream for himself.
Max just shrugged and placed his half-consumed chocolate brownie fudge ice cream in your hands — his spoon still in it. You didn’t complain further as you took his spoon and took a bite yourself. Yum! Brownie fudge is your favorite.
“Dude, what is even going on inside Red Bull? What was Horner under investigation for?” Carlos pressed on, trying to find answers. You were curious yourself
“Everyone is being weird. They’re keeping things from us. “ Checo added. You knew that they were truly left in the dark because if they knew they would’ve spilled instantly. NDAs be damned.
“Every interview, people keep asking if we know something! one more journalist and I swear I’ll run them over with my car! I hate each one of them” Max grumbled to himself.
You coughed. You knew that you were an exception but you couldn’t help but mess around with your friends.
“Don’t even, Y/N. You know you don’t count. “ Max waved you off.
“Wow! Thank you for that babe. Way to make a girl feel special” you said jokingly to the Dutch driver, as you winked dramatically. To which he only rolled his eyes — making you and the rest of the drivers laugh.
Max was immune to your flirting, unfortunately. It sucked especially when you had a tiny …. Ok big … HUGE crush on the 3 time world champion.
Max to you was like an Older brother’s best friend — Where you were the little sister crushing on him and you didn’t have a chance. You knew that like the other drivers, he just saw you as a little sister. But still you couldn’t help but fall the star driver of Red Bull.
Everything started when you brought your niece to the paddock because your sister had an emergency. You were scheduled to interview Checo in the RB motorhome and your niece was starting to feel fussy and you were slightly panicking on what to do— when Max suddenly came to your rescue and took your niece out to ice cream.
You admit you found Max attractive even before— like so damn attractive, but that was it— nothing more. But when you found Max carrying your niece in his arms as they played inside his garage, you knew that you were a goner to the charms of Max Verstappen.
You have been pinning for Max for a year now. You wished that you had the confidence and courage to just confess. But the fear of rejection freighted you, so you settled to just keep your friendship with the devastatingly handsome Red Bull champion.
As time went on, and nothing but friendship between you and Max developed — You’ve come to terms with the process of letting go of your feelings. Even when you’ve already met his mom and sister, hung out in his yacht and spent nights over his place when movie nights with Charles and his girlfriend went too late. You knew not to think anything of it.
And you were right to think nothing of it. Because not a week later, rumors had spread all over the paddock that Kelly Piquet had set her eyes on Max. You didn’t believe it at first, but when you saw with your own two eyes them engaged talking happily in his garage. The sparkle in Max’s eyes had solidified your will to move on.
A few weeks had passed and Kelly’s presence was constant in the paddock. Everyone had speculated that she had become Max’s girlfriend. But no one was sure, not even you — Max had been silent about it.
You tried to be happy for them you did. But you can’t blame yourself for wishing that it was you instead. Even to this day, you are still trying to forget and bury your feelings for Max.
“Y/N? Y/N? Oi Y/N” You suddenly were startled out of your thoughts. You forgot that you were still with the drivers in your office.
“What? Sorry, I just remembered something. What did you say?” You asked Charles as he was the one who called you.
“I asked if you had an interview today” Upon hearing the words of the Monegasque, your eyes grew wide as you remembered that you did have a job to do and you were indeed almost late.
“SHIT! I DO I’m late! “ You suddenly sprang up from your seat and quickly gathered the things you needed — while the 4 drivers looked at you with amusement.
“Who’s scheduled for you today, Y/N?” Max had also sat up from his seat and gave you an opened bottle of water.
You received the bottle from Max. You didn’t have to thank the driver — just one look from you and he knew.
The other drivers looked amongst themselves as they saw your exchange with Max. Everyone had a knowing look on their faces.
“I'm going to Mclaren today! I have the whole day with Lando. “ You said as you closed your once abandoned laptop and placed it in your bag — the one Max gave you on your birthday.
“What have you planned for Lando, Y/N?” Checo asked curiously. He still remembered his interview where you both made bracelets and stuffed toys for his daughters — his daughters loved it and went to sleep with it every single day.
“Oh! I’m taking Lando to a rage room, then drive-thru for food.” You explained happily to the older Mexican driver.
“Which part of that is the interview?” Charles had interjected
“While we eat the food in the parking lot, duh,” You said as if they should’ve already known. Well, they should by now.
“You know Y/N, Lando likes you right? ” Carlos had suddenly dropped a bomb on you. You didn’t expect it at all.
“What?” Max had suddenly said — catching all of you off guard. You didn’t understand, why Max had reacted so suddenly. But you pushed that aside for now as you continued to stuff everything you need in the bag
“What do you mean, Lando likes me?” You asked Carlos, with your eyebrows scrunched together.
“He likes you. Like you know? Take you out on dates and all that” Carlos replied as he gauged your reaction.
“Ohhhh, that’s cute! how did you even know about it, Carlos” you asked not taking any of it seriously.
“Cute?” You heard Max muttered under his breath.
“He told me. I won’t spoil anything else. I’m not even supposed to say that he likes you, but oh well.” Carlos shrugged as he finished off his ice cream.
“What do you think about Lando?” Charles suddenly asked you. The Ferrari driver leaned forward
“Will you date him if he asks you ?” Checo then joined the conversation.
“ You should say yes, I mean you two are the same-“ Charles had suddenly grown excited.
“Ok whoa, calm down dads. He hasn’t asked anything yet! “ you exclaimed
“But will you say yes if he asked?” Max then asked you, his eyes piercing your soul. After all of the other questions, Max was the one to Catch you off guard.
“Uh yes, I guess? I mean, why not? Lando is fun And he is single right … ” You were panicking so you said yes, even when you knew that you weren’t ready for anything like that since you still held feelings for Max.
“ YES! I thought that you-“ Charles wasn't able to finish his sentence when you cut him off.
“OK, bye guys! See you later. I need to go!” And just like that you were gone, leaving the four drivers in your office — not letting them question you further.
“I swear, that kid is weird.” Charles shakes his head from side to side at your actions.
“Lando likes Y/N?” Max had asked again just to make sure that he had heard the Spaniard correctly.
“ Lando is a good kid. They’ll make a good couple, no?” Checo asked no one in particular, as Max was not moving from where you left him.
“Wait, wait… since when did Lando like Y/N?” Max asked confused, looking green with jealousy. Fingers tingling as they clenched on itself
“Well he was interested in Y/N since the beginning but he backed off since everyone thought that you two had a thing” Carlos explained as he stood up and went to raid your snack stash.
“Yeah, but now you’re with the daughter of Piquet. what’s her name again? KELLY! yes, kelly. So Lando is taking his shot” Charles added
“You knew? Charles, you knew about Lando?” Max was aghast at the knowledge that was just receiving now.
“Well yeah? I was the one to encourage him to ask Y/N out. ” Charles shrugged nonchalantly. He knew about your feelings for the Red Bull driver, but he also saw how hurt you were when Max started seeing Kelly out of nowhere. Charles wanted to help his friends — specially the ones that he grew to love like his own sibling in any way that he could. Plus it was time for Y/N to have fun, and Lando Norris is exactly that.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Max was conflicted. His emotions growing uncontrollably by the second.
“ Mate, we haven’t seen you for how many weeks! You were always out with your new girlfriend. Even Y/N had no contact with you “ Carlos explained to Max.
silence filled the room, when suddenly pings of notifications sounded all over the rooms.
And Charles couldn’t help but whistle.
“Well he sure does move past” he had added.
Your story
As Max looked at his phone. Your Ig story flashed. His heart had started to hurt and the feeling of a pit in his stomach grew. it was as if someone punched him right in the gut.
And another notification ping had popped . And it only made Max’s stomach churn even further.
landonorris
#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 imagine#red bull racing#mclaren#max verstappen#f1 fic#formula 1 fic#ln4 x y/n#ln4 fic#ln4 imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#mv1 fic#mv1 x you#mv1 imagine#charles leclerc#cl16 x you#mclaren formula 1#ferrari#lando norris x you#lando x reader#lando imagine#max verstappen x you#cl16 x y/n#f1 grid x reader
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right kind of dream (joel miller x f!reader) part one
wc: 12.5k | other fics | rating: 18+ | read on ao3 | PART TWO HERE
summary: rebuilding your life, chasing cans, and hitchin’ a ride to the rodeo with team roper joel
to my pedrostories secret santa recipient @katiexpunk: this was a challenge for ya gurl to be srs (and it’s not a tentacle gangbang, i lied in ur asks babe i’m srry) i hope i hit the mark on a handful of the prompts though, i had high hopes that i could really challenge myself and deliver some breeding kink cowboy but i fear it’s more of a creampie kink—i hope that still hits, i have horse knowledge, but only rodeo adjacent experience so if any rodeo queens find glaring mistakes pls forgive me — but happy holidays bb, i really hope you enjoy-- EDIT: I MADE IT TOO GIRTHY (or something?? sorry!!) and had to split it into two parts, the second part will be up and linked as asap as possible, and i'll add the full text to ao3 so it'll be in one spot
tags: modern cowboy joel au/ team roper joel and tommy, no sarah, enemies to lovers, dbf lite, choose your own age gap, small town romance, city girl returns to the country, miscommunication, guilty yearnful joel, horsegirl!joel, smut, ridin’ that cowboy bareback as the good lord intended, no beta–mistakes are my fault for writing at 4am
thanks: to @syd-djarin, @auteurdelabre, @lovely-vamp-princess for support, eyes, ideas, etc.
The sun beats down on the gravel driveway as you pull your truck toward the old house. It looks almost the same as it did the summers you spent here as a kid when it was your grandparents–the peeling white paint on the porch railing, and the barn standing sturdy, but weathered further down the driveway. The fields stretched on as you rolled down the driveway, dotted with occasional wildflowers and critters dashing into the denser brush.
The air blows warm through the window, same as you remember, but the weight of the memories feels different now. The summers used to feel endless here, the fields seemed endless, as did the sky. It all used to feel so liberating. It’s not an endless summer now. Everything looks smaller and more weathered.
Except for the shiny white PVC fences on the other side of the driveway and the modern-looking house and barn built on the same soil you used to spend hours patrolling with your pony, Clover. She’d search for the best bits of grass as you laid across her back coming up with stories—some days you were an old-timey cowgirl traveling west or Clover was a wild horse you were training or you were on a quest to a magical kingdom together.
But now it’s a new home for whoever bought up the parceled land your dad sold to cover the updates on the house when he inherited it. Someone with enough money for a fancy barn and shiny truck. You pull to a stop and hop out of the cab, still scanning the neighbor's property, making your first impression.
Your dad emerges from the barn, wiping his hands on a faded rag. He gives you a smile and a nod. “About time you showed up,” he calls, his voice warm and teasing. “Thought maybe you had changed your mind.”
You shake your head softly, rolling your eyes. “Nope. Nothing worth staying in that city for.”
The gravel crunches under your boots as you round the bed to grab one of your boxes. All your belongings fit into a few boxes. At least, everything that mattered to you, everything that was still you. “Where do you want this?” You wonder how you’re going to manage living in the same house with your dad now that you’re an adult.
“Just set it inside,” he said, gesturing to the house. “We’ll get you sorted after we have something to eat.”
As you followed him toward the house, the outline of the neighbor's property loomed large. The barn caught your eye. It was close. A pair of horses stood in the near pasture, swishing their tails in the afternoon heat. The contrast was stark. Where your dad’s place still carried the scrapes and scuffs of decades–theirs looked new and polished. Smug even. Can a house be smug?
“The neighbors are closer than I thought.” You cross the porch, the nostalgic screen door squeaking as your dad ushers you inside.
“Don’t mind it. We look out for each other.” He points to the room you stayed in as a kid. “He damn near built the place by himself, and helped me with the new roof on this place.”
You shoot him a sharp look. “You said you were gonna hire roofers instead of climbing around up there at your age.” He shrugs you off. Always stubborn. Convinced he can do it better and cheaper. Despite the toll on his body.
“Paid him to help,” he argues, “wasn’t up there by myself. You don’t gotta worry about me like that.”
You set your box down at the end of the twin-size bed, the room falling quiet for a moment. Your dad stays planted in the doorway, but his brows pinch and lips purse briefly before he lets out a breath. You scan the room, gaze landing on the floorboards, waiting.
Instead of addressing the elephant in the room, he says, “You hungry?”
You grin at that, letting out a shaky breath. Your father’s daughter, neither of you likes to dig into your feelings. He taught you to show love through actions, like keeping you fed, taking on hard labor jobs without a complaint, or changing your windshield wipers before the rainy season starts and you’re cursing yours out.
“Yeah,” you say, brushing past the knot in your chest. “Starving.”
The rumble of a diesel engine jolts you awake the next morning, the deep growly sound reverberating through the walls like thunder on an otherwise quiet morning. You groaned, stretching and blinking blearily at the pale light filtering in through the old curtains. It was barely dawn yet, which explains the dull headache you’ve got.
Sleep had been restless. Tangled thoughts, ruminating on what you’d left behind. A failed engagement, the job you hated, the mix of excuses you had rehearsed for why you’d come back. You’d hoped coming here would ease the ache, but just when you were finally falling back asleep—the truck from hell pulled up to the house.
The engine is already cut off, but now you can hear voices on the porch. Your dad’s, low and steady, just a hum, and another unfamiliar drawl. Whoever it is, they’re carrying on like the rest of the world wasn’t still trying to wake up.
You drag yourself out of bed, wearing your soft sleep shorts and a thin shirt. The worn fabric clings to your body in places it shouldn’t, but you’re not thinking about being presentable, you aren’t really thinking at all yet. You drag your feet crossing to the kitchen to pour yourself coffee, for a brief moment you miss the coffee shop you used to stop at on the way to your old job, but the familiar roast your dad’s been loyal to has its charm. Like the free coffee at an AA meeting. It’s there and you need something to keep you going.
You push past the squeaky screen door, stepping out onto the porch. Your dad sits on the worn bench, coffee in hand. Next to him, leaning casually against the railing is a man you don’t recognize. His black Stetson gives him a classic cowboy silhouette, the morning sun catches on the sharp cut of his jaw and the scruff on his cheeks. His plaid shirt stretches across his broad shoulders, his jeans are worn and dusty in a way that speaks to more than just appearances.
He straightens when he sees you, pulling his hat off with one hand in a fluid, effortless motion. “Mornin’,” he says, voice low and rich. “You must be the daughter. Joel Miller.”
You take a sip of your coffee. “Morning,” you mutter, voice still thick from sleep. “You always roll up this early, or is today special?”
Your dad shoots a look at you, but Joel just chuckles softly.
“Guessin’ you’re not a morning person?”
Your eyes are narrow, defensive. “I’m just fine in the mornings,” you say in a clipped tone that doesn’t support your statement. “Just not when I’m woken up by a jet engine at the asscrack of dawn.” The chill in the brisk morning air causes you to shiver for a moment somehow making you look more irritated.
Joel glances at your dad with a faint smirk before tipping his hat to you. “Noted.”
Your dad laughs. “Should’ve heard her when she was ten,” he says leaning back. “Wouldn’t let anyone tell her what to do. Still doesn’t take shit from anyone I guess.”
“I’m right here,” you mutter, glaring at him.
“Just sayin’,” your dad replies, raising his mug in mock surrender. He turns back to Joel and they resume their conversation about fence posts or something equally riveting. You let your eyes roam as you wake up, drinking the rest of your coffee, tuning in and out of their conversation about their plans for the day.
The easy camaraderie between the two of them was clear. Like a friendship forged through shared labor and quiet mornings. They flow between their plans for work and that subtle gossiping that men do–convinced it isn’t really gossip–as they share updates about other folks in town and a few of the local businesses.
“What about you?” Joel asks, turning to you and pulling you out of the fog. “You’re back for a while then?”
It’s an innocent question, but it grates at you anyway. You stiffen. “Yeah, just taking some time,” you say vaguely.
Joel raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push for a real answer. You can feel the weight of his curiosity in the air between you. He looks to your dad, who doesn’t elaborate, letting something unspoken pass between them.
“Well,” Joel drawls, “good timing. Lot of work to do this time of year. If you’re up for it.”
The comment makes you pull a face. “I’m familiar with hard work,” you reply, your voice sharper than intended.
Joel’s lips quirk again, into something like a smirk this time. “I’m sure you are,” he says with the faintest edge of a challenge.
He takes a long swig from his stainless steel travel mug, trying to fix his eyes on the horizon. But damn, if it isn’t a challenge to see you standing there, looking every bit like you’d just rolled out of bed. In a shirt too damn thin for a morning like this, leaving too little to the imagination.
He knew he shouldn’t be noticing something like that, shouldn’t look at you like that–especially not while you’re standing next to your dad. Hell, he shouldn’t want to look at all, but his eyes betray him. Darting for just a moment to your soft curves and the evidence of the chill in the air–the impression of your stiff nipples protruding in the soft fabric.
Christ. He swallows hard, landing his eyes back on the scowl you wear on your face. You’re his friend's daughter. It just ain’t right. Sweet young thing like you. He battles the devil on his shoulder that reminds him you aren’t a kid. You’re a woman. A grown woman with your own life and clearly your share of grit, if the sharpness in your voice was anything to go by.
He shifts on his feet, forcing his attention back to your dad who was still chuckling softly at something. Joel didn’t catch the joke, head too full of thoughts about you–or how to not think about you. He could feel the warmth creeping up his neck, unsettling him in front of your dad.
You and him made loose plans for the day while Joel’s mind continued to wander. He shouldn’t have asked about why you were back. Your answer was vague, brushing him off like it was a privilege he hadn’t earned. For some reason that lodged it in his head further. He wanted to know more, even if he shouldn’t.
Your dad stood up, stretching and declaring that all of you have work to do. You take that as your cue to head back inside, leaving the screen door swinging behind you. Joel lets out a low breath, shaking his head as he turns back to your dad.
“She’s a spitfire,” Joel comments, keeping his tone neutral.
“She is,” your dad agrees, adjusting his hat. “Good to have her back.”
Joel huffs a small laugh, “S’pose we could use a strong woman around here. Keep us in line.”
“No doubt she will,” your dad says, clapping him on the shoulder. The whole exchange stuck with Joel though. Something under that edge of yours, something unpolished that has him curious in a way he isn’t used to. He shakes his head knowing it isn’t his place to go digging.
Your dad starts down the front steps. “Let’s get moving, then.” Joel moves mechanically, boots falling in line with your dad’s, but his mind is half on you—in that t-shirt, with that scowl on your face, and that faraway look that he’d like to unravel.
You were used to hard work but your muscles weren’t exactly dialed in for the functional conditioning. It was humbling as you found yourself aching and exhausted by the end of the night. However, the fatigue did make it easier to fall asleep once your head hit the pillow instead of spiraling on about your failures until the birds started chirping.
The next few days gave you a jump start into the rural routine. In bed early, up before the sun. Hot showers before dinner to wash away the layer of sweat and sweet-smelling dust from the pine shavings and hay. You found yourself looking forward to the strong coffee and the cool morning air before you started with your day.
Your dad, and Joel, learned quickly to let you wake up rather than ask questions as they caught up on their plans before heading out together or splitting up. You didn’t mind listening, but you could feel Joel’s eyes lingering on you now and then. It made your spine straighten, determined to hide the sore muscles in your shoulders from him. If he was waiting to hear a complaint from you it was never gonna come.
Despite getting more rest and having an endless list of labor to keep you moving–you often found yourself working solo and in silence during the day. A silence that your mind was more than happy to fill. You rehashed memories and dissected those little moments from your relationship with your ex-fiance that you wish you had seen more clearly at the time.
You’re deep in one of those memories, mindlessly stacking bales of hay onto the trailer for a delivery your dad is making tomorrow when Joel enters the other end of the barn. He leans against the door, arms crossed loosely over his chest, just watching you work. The warm scent of hay fills the air, grounding and everpresent in his life.
It wasn’t anything remarkable, just a common chore he’d do without thinking twice. But watching you was a whole different story. Your shirt was damp with sweat as you leaned into the work like you’d done it your whole life. You climb up a stack of bales and toss down some from the top of the next row, unaware of his presence.
He is mesmerized by you. The sharp look on your face like you were mulling over an argument, the fluid movements as you worked, and the determination radiating off of you as you worked at an urgent pace.
His gaze drifts lower as you climb down and bend to heave another bale onto the flatbed trailer. The muscles in his jaw tense as he lingers on the curve of your back as you bend to grab another. The way your legs shift as you work. The outline of your body in that shirt, the soft grunt you let out as you hoist another bale had him thinking indecent thoughts before he could stop himself.
Joel drags his hand over his face, fingers brushing his scruffy jaw. Heat burning within him that has nothing to do with the Texas sun transforms into irritation. He was considering copping out and disappearing before you even noticed him when he was outed by the damn barn cats.
The orange cat comes sprinting towards him, but it’s the black and white one meow-yelling at him down the aisle that catches your attention. A dull thud echoes through the barn as you drop another bale and watch as Joel squats down to give the cats the attention they demand. You watch, catching your breath. He’s gentle with them, murmuring something you can’t hear before he stands and strolls toward you.
“Afternoon,” he greets you in his deep baritone voice. Joel grabs the two-string bale of hay in front of you and drops it on the trailer with ease, grabbing another before you can interject.
“I can handle it.” You huff as you resume your task.
“Never said you couldn’t,” he replies smoothly, setting another down. “Thought it’d go faster with two sets of hands.”
“I wasn’t in a hurry.” You eye him warily for a moment before slipping into a coordinated dance like it was natural. Tossing the rest that needed to be loaded up into the aisle for him to grab. You work in silence, just the sounds of hay shifting and boots scuffing against the barn floor.
You break the silence first. “Dad says you and your brother hit the rodeo circuit in the summer. That true?”
Joel huffs a soft laugh. “True.”
“You compete?”
“Team roping,” he says, his voice warming slightly. “Me and Tommy hit most of the circuits within a day's drive from here. Keeps us outta trouble.”
You roll your eyes. “Hard to picture you in trouble, cowboy.”
Joel’s smirk returned, faint but there. “You’d be surprised, sweetheart.” He matches your playful tone.
His words linger as you work, stirring something you don’t quite know what to do with. Your mind drifts to the idea of rodeoing, the adrenaline of it, the discipline it demands. You forgot how much you missed it, how much you gave up chasing a life that didn’t pan out the way you hoped.
Joel shifts beside you, the faint scrape of his boots pulling you back to the present. You glance at him, catching the way his shirt clung slightly to his back, the easy strength in the way he moves.
For a moment, the quiet feels comfortable. Easy. The steady rhythm fills the space. But eventually, Joel speaks again.
“Your dad said you used to spend summers out here,” he says, in a low and easy tone.
“Yeah,” you say, a little out of breath from the exertion. “When I was a kid.”
Joel brushes some loose hay off of his shirt. “Guessin’ it’s different now.”
“Everything’s different now,” you mutter, more to yourself than to him.
His brow furrows slightly. “What brought you back?”
You hesitate, not looking him in the eye. You’re searching for an answer in the dust particles caught in a beam of sunlight. “Just needed time to…rebuild.” It’s still vague.
“You runnin’ from something?”
You tense at that, before covering it in sarcasm. “I’m not an outlaw,” you jest, earning you a small smile. He doesn’t press further, but you feel his eyes on you, steady, and patient like he’s waiting in case you offer more.
“It’s not as simple as people make it sound,” you say finally, the words slipping out before can stop them. “Starting over, that is.” You sit on a bale and pull your work gloves off, running the back of your hand over your forehead smearing sweat and dust in a most unsatisfying way.
“No, it ain’t,” he adds quietly.
Something in his tone makes your chest tighten, but you ignore the sensation. “What about you? How’d you end up here?”
“Had to start over myself, I reckon,” he muses, dusting off his hands before sitting down next to you. The words hang in the air, heavier than you expected. He doesn’t look at you, instead, he watches the cats play with a piece of baling twine. “This place made it easier—focusing on getting the house built and getting the business running. Your dad helped too.”
That catches you off guard. “My dad?”
Joel nods, finally meeting your eyes. “Just seemed to understand, I guess.”
You stare at him. You’re disarmed by the softness in his tone. Like there’s more beneath the surface if you ask for it.
Joel feels the air thicken. He takes in the way your sweat-damp shirt clings to you, and the heavy rise and fall of your chest. For a split second, an image flashes in his mind—your chest heaving for a very different reason, your skin flushed and shining. His throat tightens, and he looks away quickly, cursing himself for letting his thoughts slip.
The cats weave between your legs, easing the silence. But the air between you still feels charged. Your thighs are nearly touching. The proximity feels overwhelming for some reason and you're suddenly caught up in the details of his profile as he stares down at the floor. The lines at the corner of his eye, his nose, his lips.
He clears his throat and slaps a palm on his thigh. “Well,” he starts, standing up rather abruptly. “Just came by to check-in. See how you’re settling in.”
“What?” You frown. You miss the grimace that flashes on his face, your eyes drawn to the cats darting away from the two of you. “How I’m settling in?”
“Yeah, you know…” he gestures vaguely around the barn and your brows furrow and your eyes sharpen at him. Irritation flickers behind your eyes.
“I told you I’m not afraid of hard work,” you snap, jumping to your feet in front of him.
“That’s not what I meant,” he grumbles, like you’re misunderstanding him.
“Did my dad send you to ‘check in’ on me? Or did you want to see if I could keep up?”
“It ain’t like that.” He says lowly.
“Right.” You cut, crossing your arms. You’re over this rollercoaster of a conversation. Your eyes catch on the deep crease between his brows and the glint in his dark eyes. Something flares in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s indignation or something else entirely. “Then what is it?”
His jaw tightens, gaze locked with yours. Something unspoken flickers in his expression. But instead of answering, he straightens, stepping back. “Doesn’t matter,” he says curtly.
Your stomach twists at the coolness of his tone, the connection you just felt snapping like a wire.
“This was a mistake,” Joel mutters to himself.
“What was?” you asked, your voice deadly quiet.
Joel only shakes his head before striding toward the far door. His boots echo on the floor and the cats follow after him like shadows, their tails swishing as they dart out into the sun. Joel pauses in the doorway, glancing back with a look you don’t understand.
“Don’t work too hard now.” His voice carries easily before he stalks off.
Your thoughts have you spinning. “The fuck is his problem?” you wonder out loud, sharp in the warm air. In the space he left.
But deep down, you can feel the edge of something else. Something more than frustration, curling low and unwelcome in your chest. The weight of his gaze was still lingering, and try as you might, you can’t ignore the way his presence had pressed into every corner of the barn, or the faint scent of leather and bourbon that still hangs in the air.
Your routine locks into place, and the days begin to pass in a blur. Joel stops by for coffee and acts like the conversation you had in the barn never happened. The stoic, gruff cowboy thing works just fine with you.
Except for the moments you catch him staring at you like he’s trying to find an answer to something he never asked.
If you’re honest, though, despite your hostility, you seem to catch yourself studying him with the same frequency and intensity. You’re loath to admit you catch yourself hung up on his obnoxiously broad shoulders, his arms sculpted from the physically demanding work, and that gravelly morning voice he has before he finishes his coffee.
Aside from whatever Joel’s problem with you is, everything else seems to be falling into place. You catch up on your dad’s list of projects. You pick up a part-time job at the feed store in town, keeping yourself too busy to have idle time and too tired to dwell on the past or the future. You get to know folks in the town while you work at the register.
The town seems smaller than it was when you were a kid, but there’s also a charm in the simplicity that you find comfort in. The regulars keep you up to date on the town gossip, and you’re laughing loudly with your boss, Linda, one day over a joke she’d never admit to teaching you when your neighbor struts up to you with a list in hand for a bulk feed order.
You’re cordial to him and the man at his side who gives you a flirty wink that has you raising your eyebrows in disbelief for a moment before you put it together. “You must be Tommy?”
He grins brightly and offers his hand. “And you must be the neighbor?” You give him your name and a polite smile. Your eyes flick to Joel, taking in his neutral expression. His hands rest in his pockets, but his posture is loose, his broad shoulders back in a way that draws your eye before you can stop yourself.
As you enter the details of their order into the prehistoric computer, Linda chats both of the men up, asking them about their horses and when their next rodeo is.
You give Joel his total and take his payment, trying not to roll your eyes when he doesn’t make eye contact with you. You’re ready for the interaction with him to be over when Linda puts you on the spot.
“This one’s been talking about looking for a project horse of her own.” She nods her head toward you. “You boys have any leads for her?”
You can feel your face heating up as they both look at you. It’s not like it was a secret, but you weren’t planning on making Joel privy to your plans. You still haven’t forgotten the way he said this was a mistake after having one conversation with you. Or the way he is always looking at you. Like you don’t belong here or something.
“I’ll do you one better,” Tommy says. “We’ve got a couple of colts just getting started under saddle. They could use the miles, and they’re real sweet-tempered if you wanna come by during the week.”
“Thanks, Tommy.” You give him a genuine smile. “I’m actually going to take a look at one that’s got potential this weekend. Marilyn from the post office said her cousin’s got a six-year-old quarter horse she’d sell for a steal.”
Joel lets out a dismissive laugh under his breath. “You mean that Hancock gelding? The blue roan?”
“Yeah.” You confirm, slowly growing more confused by the reactions on all of their faces. “Why?”
Linda’s mouth is hanging open like you said the devil was gonna sell you his horse. Tommy gives you a modest smile like you’ve told him two plus two equals eight, but he’s too polite to correct you. Joel’s expression remains unreadable, but the crease between his brows deepens.
“Am I missing something?” you ask, hoping for an explanation. You do not like feeling like you’re being played for a fool.
“She’d sell that horse for a dime and a handshake,” Linda says. “Her cousin broke her jaw getting bucked off that horse. That’s why he’s been out to pasture ever since.”
You’re quiet for a beat before the familiar challenge and determination wrap around your heart. “Can’t hurt to look,” you say with a shrug.
“Hancocks are notoriously stubborn and broncy,” Joel adds, his tone low and edged with warning.
“They’re also incredibly smart, loyal, and full of try if you earn their trust and ask ‘em the right way,” you shoot back, meeting his eyes for just a moment too long. Why does it always feel like he thinks you’re out of your element? Does he think you’re incompetent? It only strengthens your desire to prove him wrong.
Joel’s mouth presses into a thin line, but his gaze doesn’t waver, and it stirs something uncomfortable low in your chest.
“So I’ve heard,” Tommy cuts the tension simmering between you and Joel. “Offer still stands if he doesn’t work out.”
“Thanks.” You pointedly direct your appreciation to Tommy, not looking back at Joel. “We’ll give you a call when the order’s in.”
They take that as their signal to move along. You think that would be the end of the drama for the day, but Linda’s got one more tidbit in store after the door closes behind the two men.
“God, those two are so hot it’s unbearable,” she sighs. It catches you off guard, and you blink at her. “Too bad they’re cowboy Casanovas.”
“What?” You give her a scrupulous look, shifting on your feet as she leans against the counter.
“Oh, yeah,” Linda says with a knowing smirk. “Every buckle bunny in a three-county radius knows those two. I hear they have a sign-up sheet at the trailer.”
You laugh softly, shaking your head, but the image comes unbidden—Joel, shirtless and panting, sweat glistening on his chest, his jeans slung low on his hips, every muscle taut as he leans over some woman. His gravelly drawl slides through your mind like warm honey as he murmurs something low and dirty, but you can’t make out the words. Your thought derails violently, and you scowl at yourself, heat rushing up your neck, but Linda’s still talking.
“I’d stand in line for either of ‘em if I were single,” she adds with a shrug.
The image morphs into smug Joel tipping his hat, a self-satisfied grin on his face as some random woman climbs out of his bed. Your throat tightens unexpectedly, and you shove the thought away, scowling at the knot of irritation it leaves behind.
The trailer rocks faintly as you haul it slowly down the driveway toward the barn. Blue shifts inside, and the loud thud of him pawing at the floor, anxious to get out of the small space, echoes loudly in the driveway as you ease to a stop. You cut the engine and hop out of the cab, you can hear your dad’s boots on the porch steps before he’s striding toward you. “You actually brought him home, huh?”
“You knew I would.” You grin. Your dad unlatches the trailer door and you slip past the divider to untie your new gelding and back him out of the trailer. Blue’s ears flick rapidly and he snorts like a dragon, wary of his unfamiliar surroundings, but you steady him with a calm voice and wait for him to drop his head before coaxing him backward.
His hooves hit the solid ground and he blows out a sharp breath, shaking his neck to de-stress. “He’s gonna be perfect,” you say, running a hand along his neck. “Just needs someone who knows what they’re doing.”
Your dad gives you a look that says he knows he couldn’t change your mind if he tried. His gaze flicks over Blue’s body, taking in his confirmation and conditioning, the scar on his back leg, the brand on his flank, and the stocky ranch horse build. “Linda said he’s got a bad reputation.”
“Linda says a lot of things,” you shoot back, leading Blue toward the barn. “He was misunderstood. Had a rough start, that’s all. That girl who got bucked off never shoulda had him to begin with—not after he’d been out to pasture for so long. She was scared, and he felt it.”
Your dad hums, the kind of sound that tells you he’s skeptical but not enough to argue. “Well, he’s in good hands now.”
“And we both know I like a challenge,” you say with a steady voice, edged with something sharper.
The sound of boots on gravel draws your attention and you glance back to see Joel strolling over from the direction of his property. His hat tipped low as his dark eyes flick between you and Blue.
“Afternoon,” he calls, steady and smooth.
Your dad turns and gives him a nod. “Joel.”
“That the Hancock gelding?”
“Yeah,” you reply shortly, adjusting Blue’s halter.
Joel steps closer, his expression unreadable as he studies the gelding. Blue swishes his tail before shifting his weight, resting one back leg like he’s already starting to relax. Joel walks a circle around Blue, before pausing next to your dad. “Well-built,” he comments. “Is he sound?”
You can barely hold back your eye-roll. “I had Barb meet me at the farm for a pre-purchase exam. Passed with flying colors.” You swallow down your irritation. Once again Joel thinks you’re a fool? That you’d go off and pick up a horse without a vet inspection?
Before you give Joel a piece of your mind you take a steadying breath, grounding yourself and whispering into Blue’s ear. “He might doubt both of us but he’ll be eating his fuckin’ words real quick once you and I get started.” With that, you turn away and lead Blue to the barn.
Joel watches the two of you walk off, resting his hand on his hip. “She got a death wish or somethin’?” he grumbles.
Your dad crosses his arms, both men still watching the barn door where the two of you disappeared. “She’s tougher than she looks. And she’s got more patience than the two of us combined—for animals that is. Lord knows she’ll let us have it just for looking at her sideways.”
Joel grunts, ignoring the heat crawling up his neck at the thought of you telling him off. “Hope you’re right.”
“It’ll be good for her to have her own project. Haven’t seen that light in her eyes since she got here. S’about time she started moving on.” Your dad’s words eat at Joel. He still wants to know what you’re trying to rebuild from, but he doesn’t ask. Letting the silence stretch before your dad continues.
“Plus, she’s got the right touch for it,” your dad drawls, tone laced with pride. “Always drawn to the ones that seem a little rough around the edges.”
Joel doesn’t respond right away. His eyes narrow on the horizon, but his gaze flicks back to where you walked off, the sway of your hips lingering longer than it should. The deeply twisted interpretation of your dad’s words messing with his mind.
In the barn, Blue seems less concerned about getting the lay of the land now that there’s food in front of him. He munches greedily, tearing hay out of the net tied in the stall. You’re buzzing with a mix of emotions, already imagining the next steps for the two of you.
Your thoughts fall back on Joel and your dad, their low voices carrying faintly in the warm air. You can picture Joel still standing there, one hand on his hip, eyes fixed on you, that infuriatingly unreadable look expression he always has.
Your chest tightens, heat rising in your cheeks as you lean against the stall door. You hate how Joel looks at you like that. Like he’s waiting for you to fuck up. To prove him right. Like he’s already decided you’re in over your head.
“He doesn’t know me,” you mutter under your breath, “doesn’t know you,” you tell Blue, “doesn’t know shit.”
Blue snorts softly, and you take that as his agreement, a smile tugging at your lips.
Days blur into a steady rhythm—early mornings with Blue, afternoons at the feed store, and long evenings under the arena lights. Each ride sharpens your connection with him, his turns growing tighter, his strides more confident. Progress comes in small, steady victories, each one lighting a spark of hope in your chest.
One afternoon, when the sun hangs low in the sky, painting the fields with warm hues of orange and gold. From his spot near the fence of his own property, Joel leans one arm against the top rail, his black felt Stetson shading his eyes. Across the way, you’re working with Blue in the makeshift round pen.
Joel can tell from the way you hold yourself that you’re tired. Your shoulders seem stiff and your jaw tense. But you don’t stop. Your voice carries in the breeze, warm and steady as you encourage Blue to make another pass.
The horse resists, throwing his head and stomping at the ground, but you don’t flinch. You give him the space to settle before asking again. Joel’s lips twitch, with a hint of a smile. You’ve got grit.
He can’t shake the feeling that you’re working off more than just the horse’s rough edges. You move with purpose and focus, but with a weight that doesn’t seem entirely about Blue.
From where Joel stands, he can’t make out every detail, but it doesn’t stop his eyes from lingering. You draw his attention with a pull that he can’t resist.
Against his better judgment. He traces the line of your spine as you step forward, the way your hips shift when you pivot. He knows better than to look, knows it’s wrong, but he can’t stop himself.
Blue gives in, his steps evening out as he settles into a steady rhythm circling you. Joel watches as you slow him to a halt. The tension in your posture releases and you reach out with ease and satisfaction to stroke Blue’s neck.
That invisible pull between you draws your eyes to where Joel is standing. Your face hardens when you catch him observing your training session. He gives you a nod before pushing off the rail and heading into the barn.
He catches glimpses of you working together in the mornings and evenings. He tries to stop himself from watching, but it’s useless. He catches himself inadvertently timing out his schedule to be able to keep an eye on you. Tells himself he wants to be sure someone’s keeping an eye on you in case something goes wrong. Or that he’s curious about your progress.
He can admit he admires your perseverance and the skill you have. He would never admit the way he finds himself waking up hard and aching thinking about you and what it’d feel like to have your hips rocking on his lap instead of a saddle, your tits bouncing in his face, and your sweet blissed out smile. And when trudges up the steps of your porch in the mornings to see if your dad needs anything from town—he prays neither of you can see the remnants of his sins in his eyes.
He can’t stop himself from trying to talk to you, though. One morning he asks straight up, “How’s the project horse coming along?” He tries to sound casual, averting his eyes as he sips his coffee.
Your smile flickers, equal parts excitement and hesitation flashing across your face. “Good,” you say after a beat, sitting on the wooden bench. “He learns quick, got good stamina and drive.”
Joel hums, tilting his head slightly. “He give you any trouble?”
Your jaw tenses, though you try to hide it. “Nothing I can’t handle,” you reply, tightly.
Joel nods. “Good,” he says simply, but he still looks at you, like there’s something else weighing on his mind.
Your dad clears his throat, breaking the tension. “She’s got him started on the pattern already.”
“You gonna run barrels?” Joel asks, curiosity sneaking into his eyes.
“That’s the plan.”
Joel hums, taking a long pause. “You wanna run him in a real arena? Bring him over to get some practice in with the right kind of footing and see what he’s really got for a motor?”
Your eyes narrow and your shoulders tighten, straining with disbelief. A real arena? It’s like nothing you do is ever good enough for him. “We’re getting along just fine as is, thanks.” The words are dripping with venom as you slip back into the house letting the screendoor slam shut behind you.
Joel’s brows furrow. “Didn’t mean no harm, by it,” he says to your dad. “My mistake,” he adds gruffly.
Your dad looks a bit miffed at the sharpness of your rejection but gives Joel a shrug back. “She’s always gotta do it her own way.”
The conversation with Joel sticks in your mind. You’re still chewing it over that evening as you run Blue through some drills, working on his lead changes and corners. When you finally bring him down to walk to cool down you hear the sound of hooves hitting the dirt across the field. Sharp and rhythmic. You walk Blue along the fence line. Pausing when you catch sight of Joel and Tommy in their outdoor arena.
Their horses move like extensions of their bodies. You loosen the reins, letting Blue’s head sway with every step as you stay transfixed on the two men. Tommy’s bay gelding moves with a quick, snappy stride. His hindquarters tucked under him as he spins on a dime at Tommy’s commend. You can feel the thrill and see Tommy’s grin from where you sit. It’s infectious. You roll your eyes as he tosses his rope catching the dummy steer in a single fluid motion.
You make another lap before you let yourself study Joel.
He’s riding his big red mare, her muscles rippling in the sun as she powers forward at a lope. Joel’s hand is steady on the reins, his posture relaxed but exact. Every movement he makes is calculated, and deliberate, yet to an untrained eye seems completely natural and fluid. Like he and his horse were born to do it. He barely shifts to ask the mare to pivot. Her body arcs beautifully, bending around his leg as they make a sharp turn toward the roping dummy.
You’ve seen good riders before, but there’s something different about the way works. He doesn’t just ride—he leads. Every muscle he moves is a quiet conversation between him and his horse. It’s seamless and controlled. And damn if it isn’t mesmerizing.
He leans forward slightly, and your mouth goes dry watching his arm flexing as he tosses the rope with precision. His red mare halts instantly, kicking up dirt around her hooves. Joel adjusts his hat with a smooth motion, you can see the focus on his face. Serious and competitive.
You swallow hard as you change directions, still walking on a loose rein very aware that Blue’s sweat is long dried by now. You feel warmth burning in your core that has nothing to do with your tired muscles. He looks good out there. Too good. The kind of good that makes you think about things you shouldn’t be thinking about. Your eyes drift, taking in the way his jeans hug his thighs, the line of his back as he shifts in the saddle. You imagine his hands, thick, precise fingers. Something coils hot and tight within you. You shake your head at yourself. You are not having those thoughts about Joel Miller who thinks you don’t know your ass from your elbow. You swing your leg over the back of the saddle dropping to your feet. Loosening your cinch and still trying to shake your thoughts out of your mind when you hear Tommy hollering at you.
“Watch and learn, neighbor!” Tommy calls, snapping you out of your thoughts.
You glance up, cheeks burning as Tommy tips his hat your way with his charismatic grin. Joel follows his gaze, dark eyes locking on you for a moment. Tommy gives you a demonstration of his prowess with the rope–as if you hadn’t been watching–but, Joel says nothing before turning his mare and heading in the opposite direction.
His cool look sends a shiver down your spine.
You walk back to the barn, and the sound of their horses fades behind you, but that image of Joel sears into your mind. His commanding and maddeningly attractive exhibition just stoked a fire you’re desperate to ignore.
You have the same stubborn streak as your father and you’d be damned if you’re gonna cave and ask Joel to use his facility. You find a summer barrel series in a nearby town with low entry fees.
You start hauling Blue out to get some experience. At first, his runs are clumsy, but as you get your miles in, his turns get tighter, his confidence grows, and your times get quicker. And you quickly feel like the two of you are ready to enter your first rodeo.
The air smells like dirt and livestock, as you unload your horse and tie him to the side of your trailer. There’s a hum from the generators, buzzing conversations, and the occasional whinny of a horse or thud as one paws at the dirt.
You had made a point not to ask if Joel and Tommy would be attending, but you catch his familiar shoulders tapering to his slim waist, with one boot on the lowest rung of the fence a few yards ahead when you head toward the warmup pen before your division gets called. He isn’t even facing your direction but you instinctively square your shoulders and raise your chin. You wonder if he’s just here to see if you’re going to fail. Or maybe he’s just watching to earn some other woman’s favor.
Something ugly simmers in your blood and your chest feels tight. You attribute it to irritation, refusing to acknowledge any alternate reasons. You’re going to prove him wrong.
You’re still staring at him when he turns to say something to the man standing next to him. You grit your teeth. Superstitious–as every cowboy is–his usual salt and pepper scruff is neatly trimmed, he’s got on a pair of deep blue Wranglers–nicer than you figure he owned, and a crisp long-sleeve pearl snap. Dressed to earn Lady Luck’s favor.
The devil on your shoulder whispers a thought in Linda’s teasing voice. He doesn’t need to do all that to get lucky. You take a deep breath and peel yourself away from the sight. You’re here to focus on Blue, not your asshole neighbor and his conquests.
Despite trying to let go of your issues with Joel, a scowl stays plastered on your face throughout your warmup. Blue picks up on your distraction and he’s a little hot, as you head him toward the alleyway when it’s time for your run. Against your will, your eyes search for Joel. A wash of heat floods your veins when you find him already watching you. He mouths good luck at you and you can only manage a curt smile before you’re pushing Blue to a lope, making one tight circle before you cross the start. The sound of his hooves pounding into the dirt matches the blood pounding in your ears. The burst of adrenaline is instant. The run isn’t perfect. He breaks his stride around the second barrel and you lose time nudging him back into rhythm, but you finish the pattern without knocking anything over. The announcer calls your time as you slow to a trot, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. It’s such a blur you don’t think to look for Joel. You don’t think about him at all until you’re untacking Blue at your trailer, brushing sweat marks from his coat when movement near another horse trailer catches your eye.
Joel stands close to a woman with long, shiny dark hair. She flashes a wide smile, leaning toward him and resting a hand lightly on his arm. The sight makes you grimace. You shove down the feeling. “None of our business,” you mutter to Blue as you keep brushing. But, your eyes flick back despite yourself. She tilts her head, laughing at something he says, or doesn’t say, you can’t tell. He stands stiffly, hands in his pockets. You can’t see his face from your angle.
The woman reaches to touch him again, and you feel a headache brewing in the back of your skull. Joel glances away from her, landing in your direction for the shortest moment, before his weight shifts and he takes a small step back. You scowl again, tossing your brush back into the tack room shelf with more force than necessary making Blue toss his head. Your heart thuds louder than it should and you run a hand over Blue’s cheek, murmuring softly to calm both him and yourself. When you glance back, the woman is still talking, but Joel’s looking at you again. His dark eyes are sharp under the brim of his hat. He nods, barely noticeable, before turning away from the woman entirely. You clench your jaw, forcing yourself to take another deep breath before loading Blue back into the trailer to head out. You weren’t sticking around to watch any of the other events. Especially not the team roping.
You smile when you pull onto the highway. You count the day as a success and feel ready to enter a bigger rodeo. The idea makes you glow. Finally feeling like you’re getting back to your true self. You feel like a new woman compared to the version of you that showed packed up her truck desperate to put miles between your ex-fiance and your corporate nightmare.
“It’s not that bad,” you argue, crossing your arms as your dad leans against the truck with a skeptical look. “The hell it’s not,” he replies, gesturing toward the trailer. “That’s floor is one step away from dropping your horse onto the damn highway.” You sigh, dragging a hand over your face. “I know,” you grumble lowly, disappointment sinking in your stomach. “I was just hoping you’d see something I didn’t.” “Sorry kid,” your dad says. “S’fine. I’ll figure something out. Or just eat the entry fees I paid.” “Or,” he says pointedly, “you could ask Joel.” You glare at him, fire burning in your chest. “I don’t need his charity.” “Ain’t charity,” he interrupts your sour attitude with a gruff tone. “He’s practically family. Don’t let your pride get in the way of your goals.” The words stick, heavy and uncomfortable. You’ve got half a mind to keep arguing. Joel might be your dad’s best friend, but he’s nothing like family to you. But before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re dragging yourself up the steps of Joel’s front porch.
You realize as your boot hits the last step that you’ve never been to his place. He always offers to have you and your dad over for a whiskey or for a fire out back, but you always brush him off. You see why your dad takes him up on it though.
It’s beautifully made with stunning wooden chairs and a bench for seating on the porch. You’d consider complimenting him on his craftsmanship if you weren’t already dreading what you’re about to say. Joel opens the door, his hat already in hand like he’d been expecting you. “Somethin’ wrong?” “Yeah,” you admit, trying not to hesitate. “Uh, trailer’s shot,” you point your thumb in the direction of your dad’s place. “Was wondering if you’d have room in your trailer to haul Blue with your horses.”
The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches. The gleam in his eye makes you want to say never mind. You brace for a smart-ass remark. “‘Course,” he replies. You blink, caught off guard by the simplicity of it. “Of course?”
He leans back into the house to grab something, then he’s handing you his keys. “Load your tack up tonight, and get your bags in the living quarters.” “No need,” you shake your head, leaving him holding the keys between you. “I’ve got the truck. And a tent.”
Joel leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms. You pointedly avoid how his sleeves strain around his biceps. “You’re ridin’ with us. Not riskin’ that truck dyin’ on the highway.” You glare, lips pressed into a thin line. Of course, you’ve got a trailer with a busted floor and a truck with more miles than you’d like to admit on it—while Joel has a shiny truck from this decade and a horse trailer with a tack room and living quarters. Probably has AC and everything.
You catch the glint in his eye, realizing you’re the one asking for a favor and you steel yourself, reminding yourself to bite your tongue.
“Fine,” you grit out, holding your hand out for the keys.
The truck hums beneath you, the steady vibration doing nothing to ease the thick tension in the cab. Tommy’s passed out in the back seat, his hat tipped low over his face, leaving you alone with Joel and the steady drone of the country ballad playing through the speakers.
“You always listen to this?” you ask, breaking the silence as you reach toward the radio.
Joel glances at you, one hand resting casually on the wheel. “Somethin’ wrong with it?”
“Didn’t know you were a ‘sad songs for sad cowboys’ kind of guy,” you mutter, flicking through stations before he can answer.
Joel doesn’t stop you, but when you pause on something irritatingly upbeat, his hand moves toward the knob just as yours does.
Your fingers brush his, and the contact jolts through you like a live wire.
You pull back instinctively, your breath catching as your heart slams against your ribs. Joel pauses for half a second before retreating, his knuckles tightening faintly on the wheel.
The silence that follows is suffocating.
Joel stares ahead, his jaw clenching as his thoughts spiral. He knew telling you to ride with him was playing with fire. But he can’t stay away from the heat. You glance out the window, pretending the spark you felt wasn’t real. It’s just Joel, always better than you, always an ass. The charged silence stretches on though, every shift of his hand on the wheel drawing your attention. Every shallow breath reminds you of his proximity.
“This’ll do,” you say tightly. Joel huffs softly, but says nothing, keeping his eyes pointed straight ahead. Neither of you speaks again for the rest of the drive, but the weight of the accidental touch remains, thick and suffocating. The rodeo grounds are already alive with motion by the time you’re parked and unloading the horses. The evening sun casts an amber glow over the circus of trucks, tents, and trailers. You help get the portable fence set up and the horses settled before the three of you head off to check in at the visitor's tent and get your meal tickets.
The smell of barbecue wafts through the air and you get in line to fill your plate. Folks chat eagerly. Tommy strikes up an easy conversation with a group of riders near the picnic tables.
You watch as some folks head back to their campsites, hesitating on whether you want to do the same or find a table. Joel passes you and sits at a nearby table and before you can debate any longer a voice interrupts your thoughts. “Long travel day?” the wiry cowboy drawls, tipping his hat and gesturing to the bench next to him. “Take a seat.”
You give him a quizzical look, but you’re hungry enough to take the opportunity to sit and eat.
“Name’s Cody.” He introduces himself while you eat. He tells you he’s a bull rider. Asks if you’re runnin’ barrels tomorrow. He’s chatty with a smooth and easy voice and a playful look on his youthful face. You answer his questions, politely, suddenly keenly aware of Joel’s gaze boring into the back of your head. It makes your spine prickle with something you can’t name. The heat of his stare burns into you, fierce and unwavering, making every laugh at Cody’s jokes feel like defiance. Cody continues on and you find it easy to listen to his stories, but you can’t help feeling compelled to glance over your shoulder betraying the distraction you’re trying to ignore. Cody points out some of the other riders he knows and invites you to come hang out at their campsite and have a drink. You’re still searching for the right words when you catch sight of Joel walking swiftly past your table. He mutters something to Tommy–who seems to be proving Linda’s rumors true with a woman wrapped around his arm and batting her lashes at him–and stalks off. Your stomach twists as you watch him go, irritation flaring hot and fast. “The fuck is his problem?” you mutter under your breath, turning back to your plate. Cody shrugs, clearly oblivious. “Who knows? Anyway—” But you’ve already tuned him out, your eyes following the path Joel struts down before he disappears.
You joined Cody and his friend for one drink, hoping it would ease your nerves. He had a kind group, a little rough around the edges, but tough as nails like you’d expect bull riders to be. They kept your mind distracted with their wild stories, but you decided to head back to the trailer before anyone got drunk and stupid. The walk back to the trailer feels longer than it should, every step weighed down by something stirring within you, something that has you on edge. You check on the horses before pulling the door open and climbing into the living quarters. The cool night air hasn’t soothed the heat that’s been simmering within you since dinner—or since that moment in the truck if you’re honest. You toe off your boots before looking up to see Joel, leaning against the wall, his jaw set tight, and his eyes sharp as they snap to yours.
“Where’s Tommy?” you ask, realizing it’s just the two of you in the small space. “Reckon he’ll be out til the sun's up,” Joel says in a quiet, low tone. “Alright,” you nod. Another point goes to Linda for that one, you figure. Joel’s jaw remains set in that infuriatingly unreadable way that seems to be his signature look. The dim light in the trailer casts sharp shadows across his face that darken his gaze. “You enjoy yourself? With your new friend?” he asks, his voice raw, edged with something you can’t place. You stop short, narrowing your eyes. “Excuse me?” He steps closer, reaching past you to hang his hat on the hook by the door. “Took your time gettin’ back.” He says, his eyes flick over you, dark and assessing.
You’re acutely aware of the scent of the campfire on your shirt and beer on your lips. It swirls with his leather and bourbon musk like they were designed to enhance each other. His words sink in, cutting and daring. “What’s your point?” “Did you fuck him?” The bluntness of it knocks the breath out of you. Your mouth falls open. Shock and fury battling for control as you glare at him. “What did you just say to me?” “You heard me, sweetheart,” Joel says, his voice calm but razor-sharp. “Just wondering if that cowboy got what he was after.” It takes everything in you not to slap him across the face. “What the fuck,” you hiss, stepping closer, your fists clenched at your sides, “makes you think you’ve got the right to ask me that, Joel?”
He shrugs his shoulders, but his expression remains cold. “Lookin’ out for you. Your dad’d kill me if I didn’t.” You laugh bitterly. “Bullshit.” His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t respond. Silence fanning the flames within you. “You aren’t my dad,” you snap, voice trembling with rage. “And you sure as hell don’t get to tell me who I can or can’t fuck.” Joel’s eyes narrow, his shoulders stiffening as he steps even closer. “That’s not what I—” “Save it,” you cut him off, word sharp as a whip. “I don’t know why you think I’m so weak or clueless all the time. Like I can’t handle myself. Like I’m some kid you’ve gotta babysit.”
Joel’s expression hardens, his dark eyes flash with something that looks like hurt beneath his anger. “That’s what you think I see?” his words come out like a dangerous growl. “That’s how you’ve acted toward me since day one,” you fire back, stepping toe-to-toe with him. “If you don’t respect me, Joel, just stay out of my business.” His chest rises and falls sharply, his breath warm against your skin as the air between you thickens. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about,” he grits, voice tight with frustration. “Explain it to me then,” you challenge. Shaking with the force of everything you’ve been holding back. “Or stay away from me if I’m such a thorn in your side.” He works his jaw, and for a moment you’re glued to the corded muscle in his neck and the exposed golden brown skin of his chest. He glares at you, making no move to back off. His voice drops sinfully low and quiet. “You really wanna know?” “Yeah,” you breathe, heart pounding like it’s trying to break through your ribcage. “I do.” His hand moves fast, gripping your wrist—not rough, but firm enough to make your breath catch. “You drive me fuckin’ crazy,” he accuses in a rough and uneven voice. You blink. “What?” “You heard me,” he rumbles, dark eyes locked on yours. “From the first day, you showed up here, lookin’ at me like you had somethin’ to prove.” Anger burns in your veins. “How does that make me your problem?” His grip tightens, his body presses closer. “You ain’t my problem,” he mutters. Guilt twists into his words, “Shouldn’t even be lookin’ at you like this. S’wrong.” He swallows thickly, only sharpening the edge in his voice. “But I can’t stop thinkin’ about you, and it’s pissin’ me off.” His confession hits you like a brick over the head. The trailer is silent, but the sound of the blood rushing in your ears, and your ragged exhale seems deafening.
“Then stop,” you challenge, voice trembling with defiance. “If it’s so wrong, just leave me alone.” Joel’s eyes darken, his other hand settles on your hip, fingers digging into you. “Can’t,” he says, voice so thick with frustration, it sounds like it hurts. “Don’t think I want to.”
Silence stretches and time feels thick and warped. Your ragged breaths fill the space. His eyes search for a reason to stop, but he finds none.
You don’t get a chance to reply before he drops your wrist to wrap a large hand around your jaw, pulling you into a feverish kiss. Nothing gentle about it. It’s raw and desperate, equal parts frustration and hunger. Your fingers curl into his shirt as if you could pull him any closer as your teeth scrape over his bottom lip, in a sharp, biting challenge that makes him groan low in his throat. He angles your face so he can kiss you deeper, harder, until your knees feel like they might give out. Your mind goes blank, flashing white with anger and need. All you can process is the hot slip of his tongue against yours and the sharp bristle of his facial hair against your tender lips. Your back hits the cool metal wall of the trailer before you realize your feet had even moved. Joel’s hips press into yours, pinning you against his body–solid and unrelenting. His lips trail down your jaw to your neck, the edge of his teeth scraping at your skin. The rasp of his stubble sends sparks to your core, and you dig your fingers into the hair on the back of his head. Pulling him toward you, needing him in a way that verges on painful. He lifts his mouth, breathing hotly against your damp neck. “This what you want?” he says, his tone matching the burning desperation coursing through you. “You want me to fuck it outta you? Til you can’t keep runnin’ your mouth at me?” “Shut up,” you snap, but the way your body arches into him betrays the hostility in your voice and the subtle stretch makes you keenly aware of how wet and needy you are already. He makes a low, guttural noise in his throat that makes your cunt throb. His hand slides down to grip your thigh, hitching it around his waist as he grinds into you. The hard ridge of his cock pressing into you makes you gasp. The sound you make sends heat ripping through him like wildfire. We can’t, he thinks, but the words die on his tongue. The thought of how wrong this is flashes in his mind, but it’s drowned out by the way you’re looking at him. The way your nails dig into his shoulders as you pull him closer, your breath hot and shaky against his cheek. He can’t think. He can’t stop. He doesn’t want to. Not when you’re so soft and warm and furious beneath him. He’s helpless. His hand slips under your shirt, rough fingers brushing over soft skin, leaving a searing trail that grounds you as your mind spins. He pushes your shirt up, baring you to the dim light of the trailer. Time slips back into the warped, syrupy dimension as you absorb the unbidden lust and awe in his eyes. You’re the one exposed, but you feel like you’re seeing something just as naked in his face. Time catches up and you pull your shirt the rest of the way over your head, committing to sin wordlessly. You shiver at the sudden contrast between the heat radiating off of his body and the cool air hitting your flesh. “Joel,” you gasp, your head tipping back as his mouth closes over your nipple like a wet furnace. His teeth graze the sensitive skin causing you to spew breathy curses over the top of his head. They only spur him on. He sucks hard enough that you tug him off you by his hair, but he only switches to your breast, delivering the same delicious punishment as his fingers roll and pinch at the wet, puffy, flesh he abandons.
It’s like he can predict your needs before your mind can, biting down harshly enough to pull you away from the angry, hissing thoughts and keep you desperate to stay lost in the physical sensations. He palms the full weight of your tits, gliding his thumbs over both, slick and shining with his saliva. He presses them together before releasing them. “Goddamn,” he murmurs, taken by the way they bounce more perfectly than he could’ve imagined. It’s wrong to have you topless and panting beneath him, but his name falls so sweetly from your lips that it doesn’t matter. The heavy-lidded look you have makes him feel confirmed. When you moan lowly as the pain melts into pleasure when he kneads your soft, slippery skin, his cock aches and weeps for you. He needs more. He needs everything. Needs to wreck you, to see you so fucked out the only thing you can say is his name.
It’s an exquisite brand of torture.
You hate how good this feels, how badly you want him to keep going. To show you every move he knows. To break you down with his hands and mouth. You should push him away, tell him to fuck off. But your body doesn’t want that. You don’t want that. You roll your hips against his, begging wordlessly for more, as you tug at his hair hard enough to pull a throaty groan from deep within him. The sound he makes nearly has you short-circuiting, but he doesn’t give you the respite to fall apart. His hands are everywhere, frenzied like he’s losing control. Hasn’t he already lost it? You wonder distantly. Slowly, you realize he’s littering dirty little threats and filthy promises into your warm flesh. You hate the way his words make you shiver, how much you crave every pledge he makes. “You’re gonna feel me for days, sweetheart,” he husks hotly, just behind your ear. It’s a commitment you unwittingly pray he keeps. Some part buried deep within you blooms at the idea of feeling every memory of his touch as you go about your day tomorrow. “Get to it then,” you snap, hands reaching for his belt with urgency. Joel doesn’t need any more encouragement. His hand slips between your legs, teasing you through the soaked fabric of your underwear, and the sound you make at the pressure—the breathless, needy, whimper—makes him forget how to breathe. All he knows is that he needs to hear it again while he fucks into your soft, warm cunt.
He wrenches your jeans open and works them down your thighs as you tear at his shirt buttons. He’s barely able to let you go long enough to pull his shirt off; watching you kick your pants off the rest of the way makes him nearly trip over himself.
The air between your naked chests is sticky and warm. He dips his hand beneath the hem of your underwear, fingertips gliding over the soft hair on your mound making his eyes roll back.
The edges of your vision blurs when he prods two big fingers between your slick lips, but you’re glued to the way his dark eyes are nearly black now. He looks every bit possessed by a beast, and fuck if you aren’t driven by the sick desire to make him snap.
“You like having me touch you like this, don’t you?” His voice drips with need underscored by the slick sounds coming from between your legs.
“No.” You rasp, as you grind your clit against his palm. He pumps two fingers inside of you, curling them just right to make you moan.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he drawls, thick like honey. You grip the muscle flexing in his arm to steady yourself. His concentration and competence makes your walls flutter around his fingers.
“You’re gonna come for me, right here.” He declares.
You shake your head. “I’m not—fuck—I won’t.”
“You will,” he interrupts. Dark and calm. His pace quickens, fingers focused on the spot inside you that makes you a mindless wreck. His thumb draws circles around your clit.
“Can feel how close you are.” Your hips rock and your muscles all pull taut. “If you’d quit fuckin’ fighting me.” He somehow crowds even closer to you. You feel like you’re about to snap when he pulls his hand away, leaving you feeling empty and ragged. “But you’re too fuckin’ stubborn, ain’t you?”
“Joel,” you whine, angry and devastated. “I hate you.”
You grip the back of his neck with one hand, and both of you watch as he finally takes himself out of his jeans.
The view makes you salivate.
Everything about Joel is rugged and masculine. The muscles carved into his arms and chest. The trail of dark hair leading down his stomach that thickens around his base. The deep flushed color of his thick cock. The ragged inhale he makes when he presses the blunt tip against the drenched fabric that clings to your swollen folds.
“Say it,” he growls, rubbing along your barely clothed seam.
“I hate you,” you whisper unconvincingly, digging your nails into the back of his neck and arching off of the wall.
“Tell me you want it.” You can’t tell if it’s a demand or a plea. This strain in his voice and the muscles tensing across his broad frame make you tremble.
“I don’t.” You lie. You snake one hand down your body, peeling your ruined panties to the side so he can slot his tip at your dripping entrance. You tilt forward, impatiently, stretching around him just enough to override your filter.
“Oh, fuck,” you start. Unable to stop the stream of whispered curses from rolling off your tongue.
“Yeah,” Joel rasps, inching deeper inside of your tight, warm walls. He feeds himself into you slowly, the overwhelming fullness as you adjust makes your thighs shake. He pulls out and you whine, unable to say a word before he’s moving, dipping you onto the thin trailer mattress and slipping your underwear down your legs.
“Gonna fuck you full,” he mutters. You spread your legs, making room for him to settle above you. He draws his cock back through your lips, coating himself in your arousal before driving into you with a powerful stroke.
Your lips part, sucking in air as he sets a pace. He fills you deeper than you’ve ever felt, relentlessly making room for himself as he saws in and out of you. It’s powerful and primal, but refined by his athleticism. Fluid rolling hips and his strong core make you see stars as he fucks into you.
“That’s right,” he rasps above you, and you realize he’s responding to you.
“So good,” you’re murmuring, “so full.”
“Taking it like you were made for it,” he says to himself. The intensity of your tight, warm pussy coaxing him deeper makes him spill his thoughts. Unfiltered.
He sets a pace, slow and deliberate at first, each stroke filling you completely before pulling back, leaving you desperate for more. The friction is maddening, plunging his length into your sensitive walls as he pins you beneath his hard body.
“You feel that?” His breath is hot against your neck. “Feel how deep I am? How I’m splittin’ you open?”
You nod frantically, your nails digging into his shoulders as you whimper his name.
Joel’s control falters at the sound of it, his hips snapping harder, faster, as his desperation takes over. “Thought about this,” he rasps, his voice hoarse. “Fuckin’ hell, I’ve thought about this too damn much. But you’re better than I ever imagined.”
His confession sends a jolt through you, but you’re too far gone to process it, your body tightening around him as pleasure builds again, sharper and hotter than before.
“Joel, please.”
“Fuck,” he chokes the word out, his pace faltering for a split second before he slams into you harder, deeper. “Say that again.”
“Please,” you whisper, your voice breaking as your release breaks through you, leaving you gasping and cursing.
Joel’s hips snap erratically, pinning you into the mattress with a tight grip, as he buries his cock as deep as he can inside of you.
“Gonna fill you up,” he mutters, his voice ragged. “Every drop, sweetheart.” Make you mine, he barely keeps the last thought in his head.
“Yes, yes, yes.” You chant as your body jolts with each collision with his.
“Fuck,” Joel mutters, cock driving deeper and swelling at your words. “That’s it. Take it all, sweetheart.”
Your release hits again, your body trembling violently. Or maybe it never stopped—he only drew it out of you in waves.
Joel curses low, his hips slamming into yours one last time before you feel him pulsing inside of you, hot and thick.
When he pulls back, his eyes linger on the mess between your thighs. “Look at that,” he mutters, his voice low and reverent. His wide hands slide up the back of your thighs, bending your knees to your chest so he can watch the mix of your releases glistening and dripping from you.
He takes one hand and drags it through the mess, pushing it back up inside of you. You squirm, sensitive to the touch, but fixated on whatever is burning behind his eyes.
You wait for him to say something characteristically Joel.
To dismiss you as naive, to rub it in that he broke you down. That he had you crying his name. That you shouldn’t have done that.
But it never comes.
You’re convinced he was trying to put you in your place. To give you another reminder that he thinks you’re useless and clueless. You’re too wrapped up in the thoughts to speak or move.
He doesn’t say anything at all which nearly makes it worse.
Instead, he pins you under a heavy arm, holding you against him until you both doze off. Succumbing to exhaustion.
-> PART TWO
dividers by @/saradika-graphics 🤠🤎
tagging the usual babes in case you want some cowboy!joel for christmas too:
@lovely-vamp-princess @gothcsz @auteurdelabre @adoreyouusugar
@swankyorange @itwasntimethatdidit40 @ivoryandflame @magneticecstasy
@indiegirlunited @syd-djarin @harriedandharassed @bbyanarchist
@94namkooksworld
#pedrostories#pedrostoriesgift24#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller smut#pedro pascal character fanfic
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Beginning | Previous | Next
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Check out my Etsy!
I'm sad to admit I've always been cursed at finishing chapters. Can't tell you how many times I just threw down a gradient over some dialogue and said 'scene'! And half the time the dialogue is bad.
Anyway, "Your Favorite Season" or chapter 2, has officially concluded!
I'm almost completely done drawing up chapter 3, coloring just takes a long time. I know people are wondering what's going on with Simon, but I promise you, the wait will be worth it. Or, I hope it'll be worth it. There's some super important storytelling build up that HAS to happen before Simon returns, and you'll see why, when it happens. He's guaranteed to return in chapter 4, at the very least! And I think you'll like what I got planned.
Also sorry to the Adventure Time tags. I uhhh. I can't stop drawing.
Oh! Also I'm doing two conventions, back to back. Las Cruces comic con this weekend, and Colorado Springs Comic con next weekend! CSCC in particular is a madhouse, and back to back shows are INSANE and a lot of work, so updates will probably be way slower for a little while. I'll probably be drawing pages during my downtime, but coloring takes more focus. That, and the next chapter needs new backgrounds, too.
Anyway, if you happen to be going to either of those two events, my table is under the name 'Crayon Queen Creations', so feel free to stop by!
Now that all that dialogue is out of the way, enjoy!
#adventure time#adventure time fionna and cake#fionna and cake#artists on tumblr#fionna campbell#fionna the human#winter king#the winter king#fionna and cake fanart
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Cut Deep
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, violence, bullying, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Bad news brings the worst out in Logan. [reader is a mutant who can see emotions]
Characters: Logan Howlett (Wolverine)
Note: since this is my first time writing this character, I'd especially appreciate some extra feedback
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
“So, me and Scott just wanted to let everyone know we chose a date!” Jean is ecstatic. You can feel her happiness radiating from her. Despite how often you try to block those vibrations out, hers are so strong, you can’t. “And we’ll send out the invitations soon. Be sure to RSVP! And we know you all can make it because it will be right here at the mansion.”
She beams as Scott drapes his arm around her shoulders. They are such a cute couple. Perfect. Everyone on the team loves them. Well, everyone except for the one person roiling with black clouds of spite.
You glance over at Logan as he stews by the door. He stands with his burly arms crossed, his biceps straining in his leather jacket. He glares at the happy couple and curls his lip. Everyone also knows that he has a rotten infatuation with Jean, too. You feel bad for him really.
He catches you staring before you can tear your eyes away. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes. You quickly look away and swallow. You get up and go to Jean and Scott.
“Congrats, guys,” you smile, “let me know if you need any help with planning.”
“Thank you. Of course,” Jean smiles as Scott echoes her.
You make room for another well-wisher and back away, basking in the good energy all around. Well, mostly. You feel Logan steaming still but you refuse to look at him. You know how he gets when he’s upset. You don’t need to be able to see into his mind to know he’s pissed off.
As the room converges on the happily engaged couple, you opt to leave before the noise can get too much. You’re always a bit more sensitive with the extra effort of trying to block out the sounds that you don’t want to hear. It’s like a buzz on the other side of a wall. If the door cracks open, it will all blast in like a sonic wave.
You go into the library and reclaim the book you set left carelessly open on a leather armrest. It’s a history of mutants written in the 1700s. A secret tome Professor Xavier collected among his endless search for compatriots, both past and present.
Some you know from the history taught in schools for non-mutants. Like the queen accused of witchcraft or the countless people executed for the very same. Emperors who’s legacies are chalked up to folktale and superstition over the reality of their beings.
You sit up as you sense the shift in the air. That greyness seeps in before the door opens. You know who it is already yet you’re surprised to see him enter. Logan scowls as his eyes pinpoint at you. His rage continues to burn hotter and hotter.
“Oh, hi,” you close the book, “sorry, did you need the library--”
“I need you to stop tryna poke around in my head,” he growls.
You flinch as you stand slowly, “I... I don’t do that. Those are the rules. I stay in my own.”
“I saw you staring,” he accuses.
“I just looked. I could... feel. That I can’t control,” you explain. “Sorry.”
“Feel what? Huh? What do you think you know?”
You clear your throat and shake your head. “Nothing, I don’t know anything.”
“Damn right, you know shit all, little girl,” he stomps over to you.
You gulp as you stare back at him. Logan, Wolverine, X-Man. He’s one of the most admired and well-known mutants alive but that’s all you know of him. You’ve seen him hundreds of times in the mansion, but only in passing. He never wanted to talk to you, only Jean. As far as you knew, he didn’t even know you existed.
“That’s correct,” you agree.
You peek down at the book in your hand. You should put it back. You sniff but as you go to turn, he rips you back by your upper arm. His grip is steel. You face him and wince as he squeezes enough to make your bones ache.
“You think I’m what? Some pathetic creature that’s slathering over another guy’s girl?” He barks.
You shake your head, “nope. No. I wouldn’t... know.”
“You fucking wouldn’t,” he grits, his fingertips pushing into your tender arm. You let out a squeak. “Me? What about you? Always around. Riding her fucking coat tails. All for what? Cause you can tell when I’m having a bad fucking day. Every day is fucking bad.”
You stare at him. A vein bulges in his forehead, another in his neck, and he’s slightly red with his fury. You don’t understand why he’s mad at you. Well, people often don’t aim their emotions in the right direction. Often, there’s too much for them to feel and it just spills over.
Logan’s aura deepens to a thick black. Darker and bolder than anything you’ve ever witnessed. It tendrils around you as you squirm. You clasp onto the book and try to wiggle free as the blood throbs in your arm.
“Ouch. Please, let me go. I wasn’t meaning to--”
“You’re never going to be her. You know that? You won’t even be an X-Man. You’re just one of Charles’ pets.” He reaches for the book and rips it from your hand. “He keeps you in your birdcage and you flutter around and read these stupid things.”
He tosses the book onto the floor and steps closer. You step back and whine. He keeps on until you’re against a shelf.
“You’ll never be her and I’ll never have her,” he grits out. “So, we’ll compromise.” He grabs your neck and you writhe and whimper. “What do you feel now, huh?”
A wisp of red tinges the black fog unfurling from his broad shoulders. More anger but something more. Lust. Love is a delicate pink or a pale purple, but lust is a deep and lurid crimson. Mixed with his rage, it is something more. It’s a tainted hue.
“I can pretend. You should try to do the same.”
“Please,” you press your hands against his stomach.
“Don’t try that shit,” he drags his other hand down your arm and puts his knuckles to your side. He lets his claws out just enough to jab you. “You can’t get in my head. Professor made well sure of that.”
You squeak and shake your head, “I wouldn’t-- Logan, please--”
“Shut your damn mouth and pull your pants down. I ain’t got all day,” he snarls.
“What?” You bat your eyes as they glisten. “No, no, what are you--”
His claws poke you again, easily piercing your shirt and scratching your skin. You lean back into the shelf as you peel your hands away from him. He glowers at you as he releases your neck. He crowds you in as you wait just a moment longer, hoping, wishing he would go.
You lower your hands cautiously. You drop your gaze, humiliated. You shake as you hook your thumbs under your waistband and push your leggings down. You gulp as your eyes tingle.
He grabs your shoulder and spins you to face the shelf. You let out an oomph as you catch yourself against the books. He trails up to the back of your neck and pinches. You squeal into a sob. Your disbelief bubbles to horror. You brace the wood as he yanks on your panties.
“Fucking girl,” he mutters. “Lookin’ at me... what d’ya fucking know?”
“Logan--”
“Stop saying my goddamn name.” He shoves your head so it hits a shelf and you groan. Ouch.
You close your eyes and lean your forehead on the wood. Jean says you need to breathe. Centre yourself. It’s hard when you’re terrified.
You inhale, taking in his emotion, his anger, even a tinge of that other desire that drives him so slap your ass. He digs in his nails as you babble. You gather the black cloud and blow it out.
He hisses and recoils as it ripples off of you like fire. He growls and as you go to turn, he sweeps your feet out from under you. You flail as you fall, landing on your elbow so it throbs. You whine and roll onto your stomach. You drag yourself over the floor as he clutches his head and snarls.
“I told ya not to try anything,” he barks.
“Please, please, I didn’t do anything.”
He steps over you and falls to his knees. He straddles you as you claw at the floor, pushing your toes down as you try to escape him. He swats the back of your head so hard your vision blurs. His anger darkness the room and disorients you.
You’ve never felt anything so intense and you feel everything. Love, joy, pain, grief, confusion... fear. His anger strangles you as he forces your head down to the floor, leaning his weight on his head as he pins you.
He raises himself on his knees and shifts. You kick out, thrashing your arms. You open and close your hands and clamp shut your eyes. You can do it. Take his anger in--
You scream as you’re scalded by the corrupt energy pouring from him. No, it’s too much. You’re not ready. All that training and you’re still weak.
You murmur at the floor, “no, no, please, no...”
He traces his hand down your ass and forces his fingers between your thighs. He feels around roughly, scratching your as he flicks along your dry folds. You gulp and heave. Your tears swell in an unstoppable flow.
You slap your hands on the floor and tense as he prods around, dipping a thick digit into your cunt with a grunt. Your legs distend and you push your toes down. He delves, in, out, deeper, harder, smashing into you.
He rips his hand away and you whine again. He leans over you, his hand stretching across your skull entirely. You can feel his strength in your neck. He bends, hot breath scalding your scalp with the flames of his wrath.
You weep as he brings his tip along your flesh and guides it around blindly. He puts more weight onto your head as he stretches you around his tip. You shriek and jut your arm out straight, the edge of the rug curling in your grasp.
“Help, someone! Help--”
He grabs your head with both hands and slams it into the floor. The reverberating impact fractures your voice and thoughts. He rams his hips down and impales you around his thick cock. You murmur as spittle leaks from your mouth and tears continue to smear your face.
He thrusts, holding himself at his limit and well past yours. He grips your skull tighter and tighter with each tilt. He huffs and puffs, growling and groaning as he tears you up from the inside.
Finally, he releases your head. The metallic shink of his claws cuts through the delirium of physical and mental anguish. The pain in your bones can’t compare to the dagger of his anger piercing through your soul.
He stabs his claws into the floor on either side of your neck. The adamantium grazes your skin, keeping you still for fear of cutting deeper. You wheeze and go rigid as he rears back and slams down harder and harder. His flesh clasp louder with each cruel descent.
The black cloud creeps over the floor like heavy fog. It crawls up the walls as a glimmer of red weaves through it. He ruts deeper and deeper, the motion jarring you so that his claws scrape away the skin at your neck.
He bends over you, curling his shoulders as you feel him tense. He exhales as the blackness covers the ceiling and casts you into shadow. You reach to grasp at his claws, slicing your palms helplessly as you cling on.
He thrusts until you feel him in your guts. Once, twice, several time with all the hatred he can summon. He growls and trembles as he spills into you, a heat hotter than even his boiling rage.
Your hands slip from his claws and you spread your bloodied palms on the carpet. You quake in horrified sobs. He buries himself as he lays his entire weight over you limply. He puffs as he dislodged the metal from the floor.
He hangs his head next to yours and sneers, “it shouldn’t be him, Jean.”
You hold your breath. You can’t speak or move for fear of reminding him what he’s just done. Or worse, reigniting his assault.
He groans and slides out, flipping off of you to sit on his ass. He rests his arms on his bent knees and sighs. You watch the black haze dim to a dull grey. He’s still angry but he can contain it. The storm has calmed but it's far from over.
#logan howlett#dark logan howlett#dark!logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#fic#wolverine#dark fic#dark!fic#marvel#x men
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cross my heart (hope to die)
˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ haiii :3 I only write like once a year but that won't stop me from yearning for these new characters. I love Amphoreus because I was a Greek myth nerd growing up and this new update tickles me in aaaall the right ways.
˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ tags : angst, established relationship, mentions of character death
˖ ࣪⭑ ⸱ featuring : Mydei; minor spoilers for 3.0
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Mydeimos, the Crown Prince, has no fears. He tossed away his humanity when he embraced immortality, the tool that he needed to trek on this god-slaying journey. There was no room for fear, not when he had to fight the Titan of Violence. A man such as this was not capable of human emotions; or so he thought.
"So," you hum in a sing-song tone, draping your arms around Mydei's shoulders. "When will you take me to that new restaurant in Marmoreal Market?"
Mydei huffs, but makes no effort to peel your touch off of him. He turns around to meet your eyes; you're so close to him. If it were any other person, they would have faced the wrath of the Undying Lion.
You detect no change in his expression, so you start pouting. "Mydei! You promised me you would."
Mydei shrugs. "Did I?"
You roll your eyes, finally letting go of him and sitting on the empty spot next to him. "Dying doesn't exempt you from the promises you make, you know?"
The Prince can't help but crack a smile at this; you're the only person that he can comfortably joke about his immortality with. With you, it doesn't seem like the big deal everyone makes it out to be. Not the heroic Chrysos Heir trait that Phainon envies him for, or the source of worry for Aglaea and Tribbie. It's just another part of him that you've accepted.
Because you accept all of him.
You cross your arms and look away from him, mumbling about how the restaurant's been open for a month and it's not new anymore so there won't be as many people and why do you always have to go on such long expeditions, but Mydei shushes you by taking a strand of your hair and tucking it behind your ear.
A whisper of apology.
"It's okay," you mumble, extending your pinky. "Just promise again, for this life."
"I'll make a thousand promises if that's what you want," he says, and it comes out rough, like he's doing it to get you off his back. But you know better, you know him better.
He raises his own pinky finger to entwine it with yours. "How does the saying go again?"
"You're so forgetful," you laugh, and it's the most melodious tune he knows.
"Cross my heart..."
Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. He's content with this destiny, because he knows he is not given the privilege to choose. He must lay down his god for the glory of what little humanity he has left within him. He will trade a thousand lives for peace, and he will enter a losing battle with only his faith in the infinite lives that he has.
Perhaps this is what made him forget how flimsy a life really is.
In his usual boredom, Phainon once riddled him. "How heavy do you think the world really is? Like, a thousand Dromas?"
Mydei's response, in typical fashion, was to huff and call Phainon's musings irrelevant. But now, he thinks he can answer that question.
The world is really light in his arms. The world is pale, cold, and losing a lot of blood.
"I'm sorry. Don't hate me," you manage to say before your last breath. Your voice is hoarse, but Mydei would beg Oronyx to loop it forever because he still thinks your voice is his lullaby.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. He promised to take you to that restaurant, and many more. He vowed to bring peace to this world to one day crown you as his queen.
Mydeimos knows that he must suffer a thousand deaths, and a thousand more. But this was worse than death. For you, he would trade it all; his status as Crown Prince, his pride as the Undying Lion, his immortality.
A thousand life for yours.
"... and hope to die."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
©2025 starrygazers. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.
if you liked this, consider buying me a ko-fi! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ
#imagine blog#honkai star rail#hsr#mydei#mydeimos#mydei hsr#hsr mydei#mydei x reader#xreader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#mydeimos x reader#amphoreus#honkai star rail mydei#☆—starrygazers
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strawberry shortcake ⋆ carlos sainz smau
pairing: carlos sainz x reader (fc: various from pinterest)
summary: everyone is surprised about the woman that carlos is dating, knowing how classy he is
warnings: some hate comments
a/n: i'm blonde and i'm planing to do pink highlights for this summer, so this seemed fun to do <3
masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd
yourusername just posted!
liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,409 others
yourusername 9 to 5 🌶️
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yourbff stop being so cool you're making others seem lame
user1 is this carlos new gf?
user2 i think she is! they were seen together two weeks ago, he soft launched a dinner and now she's posting watching the race, so they probably are
alexandrasaintmleux ohh gorgeous 😍 liked by author
user3 girl you're like 27 what are you doing dying your hair pink
user4 nah some people are allergic to having personality
carlossainz55 🥰🌶️
user5 pls tell me that he's just being friendly user6 no bc what is he doing with a girl like that... she looks so messy user7 that's exactly what i was thinking! nothing against her, but she's not the type of woman for carlos
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user1 i'm sorry, but she's a no for me
user2 she works in fashion????
user3 ultimate cool girl frr
user4 ok i've stalked her and she is GORGEOUSSS, and effortlestly cool?? i would die for being half cool of her
user5 dying my hair pink rn
user6 i can't believe there's people saying that she's not enough for carlos?? girl, carlos is not enough for HER
user7 FRRR she is THAT GIRL, in capital letters and bold
user8 i've dig a little and i found a few things: she was born in ireland (irish queen, i can't imagine how cool is to hear her talk), studied marketing at trinity college and moved to london a few years ago, she was a month in madrid last march (probably when she met carlos)
user9 i mean cool, but please go touch some grass
carlossainz55 just posted!
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carlossainz55 So excited to race in Australia this weekend 🔜 🇦🇺
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yourusername 🤞🏻🔜
user1 SHE'S COMING TO A RACE? user2 honestly i would be embarrased to go to a gp with her
user4 carlos you have to update your taste in women bc wtf
user5 imagine calling yourself a carlos fan and hating on his gf who literally did nothing
user6 we're not hating, she's just vulgar, that's factual
user7 i can't believe people is making this post all about his relationship
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user1 her outfits are in another level
user2 Carlos couldn't stop touching her, he's DOWN BAD
user3 she looks so sweet, i don't understand the hate
user4 she's iconic, you guys are just boring people
yourusername just posted on her story!
[caption 1: gettin ready for the race 💋] [caption 2: thank you for this @scuderiaferrari]
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carlossainz55 c'mere i need my good luck kiss
carlossainz55 i mean you ARE the prettiest and i'm the luckiest
user1 ok you actually look nice
user2 first time i see one of the wags being grateful with the team
Carlos interview after quali
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f1 CARLOS SAINZ WINS IN AUSTRALIA 🤩
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user1 SMOOOTHHH 🌶🌶
user2 and this man doesn't have a seat?? be ffr
user3 ALL I SEE IS SAINZ, ALL I SEE IS CARLOS SAINZ 💅🏼
user4 and that podium>>>>>
user5 YESSS his gf was there and looked so so happy user6 omg i saw it!!
yourusername VAMOSS ❤️💛
user7 oh hi y/n user8 you speak spanish? user9 i love her. i don't care you guys don't, but she's da best
carlossainz55 just posted!
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carlossainz55 Unforgettable weekend ❤️💛
tagged; yourusername
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yourusername Beyond proud of you darling ❤️🥹 liked by author
carlossainz55 Te amo ❤️ user2 AAAAHH I LOVE EM user3 brb im taking a bath with a toaster
user1 so we're hard launching now?
user2 she's his lucky charms, 100% sure
user3 bro casually hard launches in his race win post
user4 carlos and y/n picture was a jumpscare. but like a good jumpscare, and not scary at all im actually in love with them
user5 looking for a third?
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yourusername Left the office to support this handsome fella 💞💞
tagged; carlossainz55
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carlossainz55 Te amo, hermosa. My lucky charm 🍀👩❤️💋👨
yourusername Can't wait to the next one 😊😊 user2 I CAN'T THEY'RE TOO PRECIOUS user3 there's nothing better than private but not secret but also not too private relationships
user1 I thought i was early but carlos' already here
user4 and they've been dating for over a year, if i had to wait so much to post carlos sainz i would've died
user5 ugly as fuck liked by author
user6 not y/n liking it- user7 LMAO I ADORE HER
alexandrasaintmleux Coolest ❤️
yourusername i'm afraid that's you hun ❤️ user8 this is so cute ngl user9 wags that get along with each other >>>
user10 y/n, do you speak spanish?
yourusername Un poco, Carlos me está enseñando 🥰 (a little bit, Carlos is teaching me)
elleuk and carlossainz55 just posted!
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elleuk He was the only non-Red Bull Racing race winner in last season in Formula 1, and the first one this year. And althought his place in F1 is still unknown, it is certain that Carlos Sainz has already left a legacy in the sport.
The April issue of ELLE UK is out March 28. Read the interview at the link in our bio.
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user1 Oh we all know who edited this pictures
user6 and he even changed the pfp to the first one, he's obsessed
carlossainz55 Thinking of pursuing a modeling career after this
yourusername You should. I'll edit your pics 🤝 user3 i'll tell my kids they were adam and eve
user2 the pictures are fabulous
user7 we all say together: thanks y/n
user4 WE'RE BEING FED WITH THIS PICTURES
user5 why is anybody talking about the interview?? he's the CUTEST talking about her
user8 YESS, i read it and i died of sweetness user9 they're so wholesome i love them
#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x female reader#f1#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x y/n#formula 1#noraverse 🫧#f1 fanfic#formula 1 one shot#f1 fic#f1 fluff#carlos sainz one shot#carlos sainz social media au#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz imagine#f1 instagram au#formula one imagines#f1 smau#cs55 fluff#cs55#cs55 x reader#cs55 imagine#cs55 fic#carlos sainz jr
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"Chega de Saudade" - Alastor X Reader fic
Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader.
Summary: When Alastor breaks into the V's building seven years later he expects to find a lot of things, lot of obnoxious, enraging, tacky things. He did not expect to find you. The Radio Demon does not take betrayl lightly and you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to his worst enemy. Better yet, you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to Vox and Alastor finding out. The soul you sold because Alastor left you for 7 years. Safe to say, it's a mess. A pretty, angsty, dark and delicious mess.
Warnings: Alastor is in Hell for a reason,general hellish violence,general hellish creepiness,eventual smut, i carioca coded valentino bc i can and bc he is very carioca sorry everyone,blackmail, Soul Selling, author is really invested in politics and decided to micromanage hazbin hotel canon, Corruption, Extortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, but nothing too explicit,mature themes in general, canon divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, Alastor gets insane in this one you've been warned, fear play, Possessive Behavior, posessive sex, big bad radio demon is gonna fuck up the guy who stole his girl and will make it everyone's problem, Reader-Insert,no y/n,no beta we die like men here, i feel bad for tagging vox in this fic cause i think it's a disservice i really hate him and i make it clear so vox stans be warned, it's hell i hope y'all remeber ethics are fluid, posessive!Alastor, unhinged!Alastor, Isane!Alastor
Taglist: honestly only my queen @jyoongim i have no credibility to tag anyone anymore after being away for so long. If you wanna be tagged on future updates just let me know!
A/N:HI HEY BUNNY ANON IF YOU ARE STILL HERE THIS ONE FOR YOU!! Hiii everyone guess who's back. I had this fic cooking for a while now, actually i had a lot of writing cooking but in a very Ao3 author fashion a lot happened. You see i was on this writing streak and then my 15yo dog died while i was out of state. I had to go back on anti depressants and take a sabbatical. I got a new puppy and she's the light of my life. Got super sick, won a horse show. My first plan for this fic was having the first 3 chapters done and ready for debuting together because i always feel i'm lacking when i show up with only one chapter lol. After a while i realised i needed to get this first chapter out too see the light of day if i wanted to write again so here it is. This fic is a bit different from my other Alastor fics and i have a rough outline of 5 chapters so i think this beast will be more than 20k words long for sure. I decided to get a little deeper into Hell's politics and all the "no one ever thought of using heavenly weapons against hell even tough Hell's ancient and the best worst of humanity and demonkind is here". I call that bullshit sorry i'm brazilian i'm well versed in shady politicians and shady politics and unfortunatly, dear reader, you are in for this ride too. This fic kicks off right after "Stayed Gone". Also did i mention i'm brazilian and that my works are heavily inspired by brazilian media. This entire fic was inspired by one of my favourite songs of all time "Chega de saudade". And let's be real, Alastor and bossa nova are the perfect match. So yeah, english is not my first language and this isn't beta'd so sorry for any confusion or mistakes. Thank you so so much for reading my fics and always leaving the most kind beautiful and heartwarming feedback. I hope i can still deliver a nice story to my darling readers.
Click here for my other fics.
CHAPTER ONE: chega de saudade a realidade é que sem ela não pode ser.
In the first year you were calm and collected. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation to why he is gone. Is he even gone, gone? He’s coming home soon, you can feel it.
In the second year you convinced yourself there were signs everyone explaining why he was gone and when he was coming back, you were just too oblivious to them before. But everything can be a sign when you are delusional.
In the third year you cried so much you felt you were constantly drowning. You barely left home and some thought you were gone too. Gone to him.
In the fourth year you finally gave in and took the deal. Lack of self-preservation and machiavellian schemes working together to create a trap for him. He would come home out of anger, ire. But you can't outfox the fox.
In the fifth year you decided to scour hell and beyond after him. You went to places just to taunt him. Paranoia became your best friend, blood sweat and tears as you repeat “This time it will work, I'm sure of it”. Can a lie be said so many times it becomes the truth?
In the sixth year you accept defeat. You buried him deep and went about like he never existed in the first place. Isn’t it mystifying how this city screams his name?
It’s the seventh year now. The alarm on your phone rings and rings and you feel like scratching your face off. It’s time to meet your damned executioner.
Rolling out of bed you open the curtains to let some light in. The penthouse from the V’s building has a great view of Pentagram City, looking down you get the feeling of dystopian sci-fi that is so characteristic of the technology district. Limelights, digital outdoors, and big opulent, oppressing screens greet you like a constellation of dead stars, long distorted from their original purpose and form.
You follow processional routine as you get ready. Choose a beautiful dress, put on make-up, and do your hair. It all feels like preparation for a sacrifice. One thing you learned from Alastor is that appearances are the best strategy and you intend to greet your handmade battlefield like a roman legion.
Alastor. Even thinking of his name hurts, especially today when you need to face the consequences of your actions, the consequences of his actions. He is gone, he left you. And now Vox owns your soul. You blame your fall from grace entirely on him, he forced your hand, he made you do it. Out of desperation, out of defiance, you sold your soul to Vox so he would come back and save you, so he would come back out of hatred, anger and ire to tell how foolish you were, how betrayed he felt.
Betrayal. Selling your soul to his sworn arch enemy should be treason worthy of him dropping anything he was doing to come and punish you, to address you. You just wanted to get a reaction out of him, proof that he still cared. That he didn’t just get bored of the empire of terror he fought so hard to build in Hell. That he didn’t, deep down, just disregard you like a shiny novelty, to be left when it got old.
You dry the persistent tears that insist on falling with clinical coldness. You are past feeling sad now, you don’t even feel angry anymore. You are past any emotion really, you just want to get this over with and get back home.
You went about your deal with Vox in many different ways, sometimes you felt like it was a good alliance, a slap on Alastor’s face. A side quest to gather as much information from the V’s inner circle, a social experiment. The truth is, during these past almost four years you were a mental gymnastics pro to justify your new arrangements. The cognitive dissonance required to live with the decision of being forever tied to Vox was an herculean task and boy he didn’t make it any easier on you. He would never be as refined as Alastor when it came to torture but there’s something about the coldness and calculated reality of the television business that was it’s own type of Dante’s inferno.
As soon as he got word of Alastor’s disappearance the TV overlord was on your scent, and he wasn’t shy about it either. You dodged him and led him on for almost four full years before finally giving in, everything was more or less under control during the early years of Alastor’s disappearance.
Until you saw the angel army leaving.
Death and gore were all around you. The sky rained blood. You couldn’t breathe. You tried to take a step forward only to realize you were knee-deep in demon blood. Adam was particularly ruthless this time, he seemed to have realized the unbalance in Hell’s power structure with one of the most prolific demon overlord’s absence and took full advantage of it. You choked on the sulfur filled air while the portal closed and Adam threw a last middle finger at the Pride Ring. A clawed hand offered you support as you were about to fall, your heart skipped a beat, for a split second you felt elation. In that split second a thousand thoughts, four years of misery and confusion passed through your mind like a movie. You were sure this was Alastor, showing up after the unprecedented carnage of today’s reaping. With the next heartbeat came the delivery of the most cruel reminder: the hand reaching for you was Vox’s. Alastor doesn’t care about anything anymore, not even losing territory.
The TV overlord was covered in thick, red blood and looked vindicated, a wide chesire’s cat grin on his face. Baptized in carnage, Vox had finally triumphed for the V’s.The V’s were now a force to be reckoned with in Hell, there’s no argument to be made. A good chunk of Alastor’s territory was now under their control, and everything that came with it too. Including you.
“My darling doe, be careful, we can’t have you hurt after the battle is won can we?”
Darling doe.
You threw up at the casual cruelty of the name Alastor called you with such affection being desecrated by Vox. He still supported you as you spilled your guts, you’d blame it on the nerves, the adrenaline, the reeking smell of death. Not on the fact that you knew he finally won, that the thing that broke you was to hear your name like that, on your lover archenemy’s lips. After that it happened. You sold your soul to vox. Of course he coerced you into it, and you were so mad with grief and betrayal that you felt like betraying Alastor back was the just thing to do. Pettiness and paradoxical hope dripping from your lips as the whole thing was done.
Every year this same flashback assaulted your mind as you got ready to meet Vox on the anniversary of your deal. It never went past the look you gave those pixelated eyes as he held you on that barren land, stopping right there when you made the decision that finalized your ruin. You still wouldn’t, couldn't face what really went down when you formalized your deal with Vox. Those memories were suppressed and tucked in under layers and layers of regret and self-hatred.
You gave yourself a final look in the mirror. No makeup smudging this time, you were getting good at numbing your feelings. Just a few tears, no more sobbing.
The yearly meeting with the V’s after the extermination was the perfect cover actually, everything was done in a way that it seemed like you were all cooperating. After all, you did hold a very good knowledge of the inner workings of Alastor’s deals, subordinates and territory. You knew who the V’s could “call in favours” and how to keep the peace. Or as close to peace as peace came when an abrupt power transition happened in Hell. You were a valuable asset to anyone really. Articulated in politics, masterful at the art of persuasion, kind, soft, charismatic, assertive, all in perfect balance, and frankly, breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t without reason that Alastor fell for you and that you became his most trusted advisor. You and Rosie were able to conceal his absence and manage his affairs for good two years and the better part of the third without raising any suspicion. Of course, the bigger they are the harder they fall and now you were walking down the corridor of the V’s building carrying a bulk of important intel that would dictate the fate of the Overlord power structure for the next year, at least.
The hallways of the building changed a lot since you first walked them. As the V’s grew in power, the building grew in grandeur. It was now an imposing beast, looming over Pentagram City. Modern corporate architecture that incorporated the savage capitalism of Vox Tech. Savage, cold, sterile, overbearing that’s how being inside the lair of Hell’s most up and coming trio felt. The tall ceilings and big glass windows were exactly what you would expect of a broadcasting network and silicon valley Big Tech company combined. As an esteemed guest, you got the privilege of staying in the coveted penthouses, with someone to attend to your every wish and demand. You also got an idea that Vox went a little extra with your treatment as a form of flirtation, he has been trying to convince you into moving in for a while, every time you stayed in, your usual penthouse had some shiny new thing that was made just for you, as he repeatedly emphasized.
This year’s token of affection was a makeup mirror-gadget-thingy, that looked out of a Totally Spies episode. You had to admit to yourself that this was way more thoughtful and useful than the gifts from the previous years. The thing was cute, practical and would come in handy, which was a big improvement. Vox had tried to sway you with all types of guns and high tech devices in vain. Well, there was also that embarrassing stance with the wire flowers with a hidden recording device. Needless to say that after that entire debacle Vox learned that he may own your soul but you weren’t a damsel in distress and you would reinforce your side of the bargain if he went too far.
You reached the elevator and went in, pushing the button for your destination.
The earlier you start this the earlier it is over, you remind yourself.
The panoramic elevator descended to the well guarded conference room, the guards didn’t bat an eye to you entering. You realized you were becoming a familiar face around here, that made you dread what’s ahead of you even more.
“There she is! Hello princesa, I missed that pretty face!” Valentino greets you. He’s the only one inside, sitting on the edge of the table. Well, that’s unusual… you think. Vox was always the first to get to the post-extermination meetings, plus he always gave you a slightly early timetable so he could have some alone time with you. Something must be going on.
“Hey Valentino, it’s nice to see you too! What gossip do you have for me today?” you give your best chirpy tone to the love moth. Look, you know how bad Valentino is, he is despicable really, even to your standards. But ethics are fluid, to say the least, in Hell. The acclaimed porn king was surprisingly engaging to talk to. He was fun and actually treated you like a person, which was paradoxical in itself, considering how infamous he is for exploiting and commodifying souls. You drove yourself mad with theories of possible agendas behind Valentino’s kindness towards you, but it was the simplest of answers really, for some reason Valentino liked you and he never denied himself of what he liked.
“You have no idea! We have a lot to catch up on, did I tell you about that bitch who was trying to spy on us?” a set arms gestures to you to sit down next to him. The next 10 minutes are spent talking frivolities with the moth. You’re not complaining, it's nice to get your mind off this dreadful day and you don’t get many.
Valentino, as always, has a lot to say, little goes on in Hell without him knowing who, what, where and why. Information, gossip, rumors, facts, if a single out of context word can be weaponized you better be aware that he knows. Pentagram city can be divided into districts and ruled by lots of different overlords, still, Valentino’s intricate web of influence and coercion stretches across all territories. Another poor soul manifests here and goes somewhere they should not be, talk to someone they should not talk to, discover something they should never know. All cases of “wrong place at the wrong time” are happily solved by a large sum of money from the moth and suddenly another thread is weaved into his web of knowledge, another secret made his. Valentino doesn’t operate like most Overlords and that’s where his power lies. He bribed and fucked his way into every major circle, every overlord’s inner circle, Hell’s best kept secret. If you were anyone in the hellish afterlife Valentino either fucked you or fucked someone very close to you.
Knowledge is power, and Hell’s gossip girl was proof of it.
You swallowed a lump you didn’t know existed, hearing the moth talk about how things changed in a matter of hours during the early post-war made you even more aware of the severity of the intel you were carrying. It was earth shattering (no pun intended) information.
Angels can be hurt. Angels can be killed. That meant a completely different way of existing in the afterlife, if this information goes public, the consequences are unpredictable and dire.
You don’t feel excitement knowing you technically can fight back, you feel pure dread.
To be completely honest, you feel like these “news” are not really news. You were pretty acquainted with politics back on Earth and this whole “omg no one knew about this! even though this was staring us right on your faces! is total bullshit. Hell is ancient, the exterminations are not a new thing, and there are some pretty smart people down here. To think that millenia after millenia masters of torture and skilled killers never thought of using heaven’s own firepower against them is wishful thinking at best. Sure, maybe after a few generations most sinners, even those who have power, may have been kept out of the loop about the chick in the holy army’s armor… but not knowing this at all just feels like a pretty convenient case of collective amnesia.
Convenient, that’s exactly what this is. It’s brutal, but that’s Hell. A scheduled massacre is a blessing to those who rule to maintain, reinforce and extend their power. And if you get lucky enough, empires will fall and you will make your move.
Vini Vidi Vici, that’s all you need to know about how Hell's politics work.
It’s true that with every massacre the Angel Army gets more and more brutal and unhinged. What was once justified as righteous mercy killings to stabilize the ever growing hellish population now is just a display of cruelty, these angels kill for sport. There have been rumors floating around of how the disproportional annihilation tactics are preparation for something bigger for a while now , and with the demonic royal families either operating totally off Pride Ring or being completely MIA, it is no wonder those influential enough are starting to get restless.
And that ties back to your first point, the thing that got you picking the skin around your nails while Valentino gossips. There’s a reason why this is being revealed now, you know how creating a narrative works, a few smart words and ideas become beasts of its own. A beast of its own that will tear anything on its way with the right fuel. The V’s have fuel to spare. Whose interest is that this information stayed hidden? Whose interest is that this information was allowed to be shared now?
Hell is constructed by layers and layers of complicated militias and parallel governance, each one a locked room of secrecy that is impossible to enter without a huge amount of connections and power.
“In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king. And, honey, you should see me in a crown” Valentino wisely said to you once. He’s a man of many many keys, and right now you are holding the fucking master key under your arm.
Speaking of Valentino, he notices that you dozed off and snaps his fingers, grounding you back to reality.
“My, my. You must have extremely sensitive information today to keep you from hearing the nastiest, hottest gossip of the moment babe” He takes a hit from his cigarette, an elegant and sensual move straight from an Old Hollywood film. The heart shaped smoke rings caress your face and for an instant you feel hypnotized, nodding your head profusely.
“But I already knew that” behind the rose coloured shades, you see a playful wink from his infamous red hot eyes.
The porn overlord quickly snaps his head towards the huge automatic doors, that open and reveal Vox and Velvette walking side by side exchanging looks between them that scream conspiracy.
“Sorry about the wait, my darling” Vox purrs on your way, stopping behind your chair and placing his hands on top of it, fingers dangerously close to your neck and shoulder. He pushes your hair to the side and lingers there, on your neck. “but as they say ain’t no rest for the wicked, am I right?” Velvette takes her seat beside Vox’s empty chair, meticulously placed in front of you, polite pleasantries leaving her mouth. She’s still a mystery, you never know her true stance on you, she keeps you on your toes. Does she like you? Does she hate you? Does she even care?
“If you say so, boss!” you give him your best pageant smile. “So, who’s climbing up the ladder of the food chain today?” You bat your eyelashes at him. Your performance begins.
“Aw baby, you know I love when you call me boss! keep talking dirty to me” Vox lands a wet kiss on your cheek and makes his way to his chair.
Right in front of you, so he’s always staring at you, drinking in your every move. You cannot fail, you cannot falter.
As much as you’ve gotten used to pretending, pretending you like the V’s, pretending you don’t feel disgusting inside for being here, pretending you don’t hate Alastor for putting you in this situation with a burning passion but still missing him so much you feel someday your heart will stop beating in protest to him absence, it’s still hard. Especially when Vox touches you. Your eyes focus on cybersharks swimming behind Vox’s seat and concentrate on keeping your awarding winning poker face.
“This year looks really promising I will tell you that! The orders for both your weapons and tragedy porn cameras doubled since the last extermination! I will give credit where credit is due, that fuckboy Adam knows how to put on a show!” he snaps his fingers graphs, stats and footage appears on the various screens. But it’s all irrelevant, it won’t matter when you spill your secret.
“Lot’s of veeeery interesting happenings but I thought this year we might… start differently. Let’s forget the profit talk for now, change things a little. Did you guys see anything out of the ordinary? Did something stand out?!” he spins around his Big Boss ™ chair and stops with his hand under his chin, leaning in to you like a schoolgirl with the hottest new gossip.
“Oh! I heard things -” Val also leans in getting closer to the TV overlord face.
Vox’s grin shrinks, lifting a finger in protest
“We know, we know, you always hear things Val” he replies in a monotone tone
Velvette, who spent this entire time typing away on her phone, interjects
“Look, don’t take this the wrong way girlypop” finally looking at you she asks, or rather, states the million dollar question “ but what Vox means is that we know you have something big cooking inside those files, so let’s drop the bullshit and go straight to it”
The doll puts her phone down, she knows how important this is, how this secret will probably dictate how things will go from now on. You can call Velvette many things, but she is clever and under all that attitude and posh accent lies a brilliant strategist.
“Plus, we all know you are contractually obligated to tell anyway, so spill, and can make this quick and painless to everyone involved”
Right, your cartesian, empirical proof that angels can be killed. Caught on the scene of the crime with the gun in your hands.
You don’t waste anymore time, the words leave your lips like you’re choking with the threat they present. You tell them everything: where the exorcist was killed, how he was killed, the golden ichor blood that oozed from the wound, where the body was hidden. Everyone is silent while you speak, even the mechanical sharks seem to have stopped swimming to listen.
After that you don’t remember much more of the meeting, it felt like you took the backseat of your own mind, the overwhelming feeling of dread making you so out of breath. Something is coming, something fucking coming and you can’t breathe. Anxiety sets under your skin like a second skeleton begging to crawl its way out and you find yourself sitting in one of the lavish anterooms of the V’s building.
“So, the cat’s out of the bag then” you recall hearing Vox saying when, as if on cue, a few moments before the meeting was being declared over, the emergency broadcast about the reduction of the extermination date from a year to six months was issued. You four watch the transmission and you wonder if that’s what it feels like to get the news of the end of the Cold War, the doomsday clock finally hits midnight and we are nuking each other out.
Mutual destruction assured.
Your mind wanders back to your life on earth, if life up there is better or worse these days. You died so young, everybody told you, your Untimely Demise a big topic of conversation that you yourself didn’t know much about. But nothing, nothing in all of your living years and your years from Hell to eternity could prepare you for what comes next.
“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why is he hanging around? What does it mean for your family?”
The news hit your ears like a tsunami and you feel dizzy. It’s easy to find a big screen here and you are running to the closest one before your brain can even compute the words.
Alastor is back, Alastor is back, and he didn’t come find you.
The next sound wave is even worse, dragging you ashore to your feelings without any reprieve.
“Salutations!
Good to be back on the air! Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast
Sinners, rejoice!”
This isn’t a prank, there are no cameras and a sadistic tv host waiting for your humiliating reaction, instead all pairs of eyes in Hell are glued to the screen watching as the two Overlords fight it out.
Thus, no one notices how your entire body shakes and your vision goes black. It’s too much, and you grip the rails from the stairs that lead to the foyer for dear life. Your heart is beating out of your chest. No one notices how you cry, how you whimper Alastor’s name like a prayer, how the tears run down your face and you feel paralyzed. You want to run, a million thoughts per heartbeat making your head swim. The best you can do is collapse on the floor. So you do, you collapse trying to catch your breath as you plan your sweet escape, how you are going to Houdini yourself out of this situation right to his arms.
“Tune on in
when I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run”
You want to kiss him, you want to slap him, you want to tell him how much you missed him, you much your fucking hate him. You want him to drag you to his rooms and make you pay for cursing him out. You want him, you want your Alastor back. You cannot breathe.
“Oh, this will be fun.”
and then all the lights go out.
There’s a beginning of an uproar happening, the electric building dies a quick and unforgiving death, demons run around and Vox is flying down the stairs trying to do damage control. But even he is failing to keep his composure, because he knows. Oh how you know too.
Alastor is like a natural disaster, a shattering force that bends everything on its way with the sheer force of will. The inevitable reckoning that comes to your town, that judges and executes everyone that you love.
And now he is here.
You see the burning red hot pair of eyes first, their predatory gaze hold the entire room hostage, looking for his prey and then they land on you.
The piercing intensity of Alastor’s eyes, the flickering reds of damnation itself, regard you with surprise, elation and something more. So overbearing those eyes are, they make you shiver, bearing the weight of his gaze that penetrates deep into your soul. Your soul that is not yours anymore, it belongs to the man he hates, the man he despises.
The Radio Demon’s towering frame closes the distance between you two in five long strides, you do your best to keep yourself upright and not cower at the sight of him. He looks like Rapture and righteous torture, coming to deliver your setance. Vox knows his sentence is being delivered here and now too, so he runs, runs to you. You feel static and an electrifying pull, metal clinking. A chain. A glowing blue chain on your neck and Vox’s pulling it tight.
“What? what the fuck is going on? what’s this?” snapping your neck quickly towards Vox you whimper, you beg. The few seconds you stopped looking into Alastor’s eyes causing seething rage inside the deer demon, ire that makes the room tremble.
‘“Talk over the radio, that way everyone can hear, baby” Vox says straight at Alastor, like it is a shooting gun. The look on the TV Overlord is maniac, a sideway cocky smile that drips pettiness. Just because Vox clearly lost this battle, with all tvs and electricity on petagram city going dark, it doesn’t mean he can’t still forever tarnish this victory.
Alastor’s demonform covers the already dark building in opaque, thick shadows, radio static picks up around the room like a tornado chocking the majority of the unfortunate demons that are still inside, in a desperate attempt to seek shelter.
No words leave the radio host’s lips as he grows even taller, breaking the posh entrance of the building, debris flying down causing even more damage, the tall glass windows shatter in a million pieces courtesy of his tentacles tearing down everything on their way. The sounds of destruction and despair are loud but you haven’t been listening to the world outside you and your returned lover’s radio dial eye’s for a while. A doe caught in the headlight of his eyes the best you can do in brace for the inevitable impact that is coming your way.
In a flash of his scarlet eyes a fire ignites, the flames born from it are unnatural, behaving like a hive mind to kill and destroy.
You always knew that facing Alastor after these 7 years would not be easy, but you never imagine your reunion like this, in the midst of pomppeian fire, a wild raw power, the oncoming storm that is Alastor when he attacks.
Vox knows this fight is over, his ego hurt and today’s accounts always written as a victorious comeback from the Radio Demon, nevertheless, between the three of you Vox will always know who really won, who drew the last card, had the last laugh. He did, holding Alastor’s girl on a leash because he owns her. The soul of the woman the Radio Demon dared to love is his, the man Alastor despises with a burning passion, and that’s enough for now.
The raging flames circle the three of you and without much more flair Vox drops his act, your chain disappearing from your neck. You drop to the floor, branching yourself on all fours. You consider crawling your way to Alastor, so you can explain, so you can cry, so you can beg. You don’t know for what exactly you will be begging for: your life? his forgiveness? his punishment? you just know a lot of begging and pleading will be involved.
But the decision is made for you.
“Run, run my little darling doe” Vox commands “Run and do whatever you need to do”
You get up on your feet in a completely ungracious move and Alastor’s out of the room instantly. The flames never touch you on the way out, the outside world greets you: a cacophony of screams, sirens, burning sounds, the infernal orchestra that becomes the soundtrack of your life.
“Oh, and by the way” Vox screams from the threshold of the decaying building “we just got news that your place on Cannibal Town got trashed by some wayward sinners during extermination. But don’t worry you can always come home here, come home to me!”
You do your best to ignore his taunting, and you pray to whoever is listening that Alastor didn’t hear it. But it’s futile, the pavement where he is stepping cracks a dark cloud of static and shadows trail after him. He definitely heard and felt the implications of these words.
“Al.. Al!” you scream running after your lover.
Fuck, you’re still in heels, and those aren’t your running heels.
Kicking the damned shoes off you run faster, you cry harder and plead faster.
When you lived, your life always felt a bit surreal, weird stuff happened to you that you couldn’t really explain. People always joked that screenwriters of your life were the most creative people alive, the thing that happened to you never happened to anyone else. You died young, with a big, full life ahead of you, but you took this as gospel to your afterlife, after all everything related to your death was a mystery to you. But the things that happened to you living or dead were a raw reality impossible to make up.
The uncertainty of your death only fuels your resolve to fight for the life you found in the afterworld.
“Al, wait!” you are starting to get truly desperate, you need to get to him otherwise you are pretty certain you will drop dead here and now.
“Alastor please, please listen to me” your voice failing, you finally choking from the smoke, from the suppressed tears. If Alastor doesn’t hear you now you are not sure you can carry on after him, you’re too tired too scared. You him to save you like the damsel in distress you are right now so bad.
Alastor dramatically comes to a halt.
“I. am. Not. Having. This. Conversation. Here.” his voice is staggered, still. Filled with static and a murderous edge to it. His long arms catch your wrist and pull you close, flush against his chest, you almost stumble but a powerful arm around your waist locks you tight to him.
It’s the first touch in seven years, your legs shake at the realization that he’s real, he’s here. You lock your arms around his neck, the familiar fabric of his overcoat, the soft strands of his hair, they all feel like coming home.
Something inside Alastor snaps when he remembers, when he feels how small you are in comparison to him, only one arm securing you safely to him. Some paradoxical fight starts inside him, wild wild want, wild wild rage against tameness, the docile calm you bring whenever you are at his side.
The world disappears for a few seconds as darkness engulfs both of you, inside the black moving vacuum only the two of you exist, greeting each other in bloody homecoming.
Alastor takes you back to the Hotel, landing with a low thump inside his room. For a second his hand supports the small of your back, preventing you from falling forward. After all it’s been 7 years since you shadowtravelled with him, he knows you are terribly out of practice.
His consideration towards you only lasts this precious second thought, because he makes his way across the room, creating as much distance as he can between the two of you. Your touch disarms him, he is aware of that since the first time your hand brushed against his, the first time his lips ghosted on top of your knuckles. If Alastor is touching you he is extremely likely to get soft, to remember how much you mean to him, what you do to him, so he will be merciful. And right now the last thing the deer demon wants is to be disarmed, to show you mercy. He can feel your betrayal burning inside his veins, clouding his judgment with ire and jealousy.
Alastor doesn’t fight those feelings, on the contrary, he lets them take him by storm adding fuel to his already bad temper. That’s the only way he can face you now, that’s the only way he can make you understand.
You don’t get any time to gather your bearings, from the corner of your eye you notice a forest. His room is bigger on the inside and has a fucking conservation area but that’s hardly the most pressing matter at the moment. The pressing matter at the moment is that you are getting whiplash from touching your demon lover for the first time in seven years and his subsequent refusal to touch you, stationing himself across the room to you.
Why isn’t he with you? by your side as you ride the shockwaves of today together? You are scared, but above all you feel overwhelming sadness.
“How did it happen?” he finally snaps, breaking the deafening silence. It’s the first time Alastor regards you, directly, in 7 years and the weight his words bare is so heavy you wish for more of the silence. “Tell me, how did it happen?” his eyes are wild, dangerously close to radio dials.
“How did it happen? You tell me Alastor! You left me, you fucking left me!” you wish you could be your usually articulated self, you rehearsed this conversation so many times in your mind and in none of them you started with such venom on your lips. But it has been too long, and maybe the poison from all those years alone and afraid beside Vox drips through.
The Radio Demon sees the tears that fall profusely from your big doe eyes, and they sting more than an acclaimed torturer like him could have anticipated. Alastor finds himself still disarmed, because with every single glistening tear that falls he can see how hurt, how scared you are. He is the only one allowed to make you scared, he owns your fear.
But that’s the problem isn’t it? He owns nothing. Vox does. And that realization turns him back to feeling seething rage.
“So my mere absence is enough to change your devotion? Is me being here the only thing that stopped you from falling into his arms?” more poison. By the end of the night you both will choke on it.
“Al.. Al” you are sobbing now, your throat tightens and it’s hard to breath it’s hard to speak. “ I had to do it. You don’t get it, you don’t get it.” your voice breaks “hemademedoit, hemademedoit!!”. You swallow half the words, whimpering, as if you say it fast enough the action will quickly become the past, as if the memories won’t haunt you. And yet the memories flood your mind
A dim-lit room, the smell of blood and something burning.
“He is gone baby, and he isn’t coming back”
Electricity makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
A stranger’s hand pushes the hair to the side of your face, dread creeps up inside of you.
“This is the only way my dear, the best decision you can make”
The same stranger’s hand grab you by the waist
“I’m the only one who can protect you now, you know that right?”
eyes that make you freeze, it’s hard to think. eyes that make it hard to say no.
“If this is hard for you, you can pretend that I’m him”
a wrong type of static pricks your lips
“This won’t hurt”
a shockwave hits your body and it feels like you are being split open
You have to steady yourself on the closest piece of furniture. You cower as the repressed memories from the night you finally gave in to Vox assault your mind, trying to make yourself as small as possible, like he is coming back to do it all again. Cries and incoherent words leave your lips and you don’t know if you actually said what happened or if this entire time you have just been crying. You entire body hurts as you hyperventilate “Al, I’m so sorry” you whisper
That’s what undoes Alastor, you curling yourself in a ball, defeated and scared at the ghost of the man he hates. You looking away from him like you are undeserving of him, of his punishment, of his love. Like you are tainted. Alastor can’t make the exact words of your confession about how it happened, but he heard enough. Vox would never make you come to him willingly, Alastor knows that. Whatever Vox did - and Alastor has a lot of ideas of what he did - he will pay double for it.
Alastor’s blackened heart shatters when he calls your name and you don’t look up to meet his eyes, like you always do. He was always your lantern for when you were drowning. He meant to break you, hurt you like that. He just wanted to make you come to him, beg for his forgiveness, beg him to soothe the pain.
“Mon coeur, my sweet darling doe you are safe” Alastor voice goes so soft it hurts “Don’t fret, it’s in the past, it’s over, you are safe with me now as you are meant to be” he coos.
Still, you can’t read your lover’s mind. So you don’t know his heart is shattered, you don’t know how much he loathes himself for letting this get this far. You are so caught up on your own feelings, reeling the rage and the memories that you miss the softness of his voice and his outstretched hard and you inevitably choke on the poison.
“No. No!” you snap “You don’t get to say that. You have no right to say that!” you scream as you get up “I’m not safe, I will never be safe because you weren’t there to protect me, you promised Alastor, you fucking promised” the poison is now inside you, heartstopping waves of hurt consume your body and sprit. Right now the same burning passion that makes you heart beat for Alastor makes you hate him too. You were never good with ugly feelings, you always pride yourself for being soft to be strong. Your kindness and act of rebellion during the hellish reality you lived. You were never good with bad feelings, so you do something you never thought you’d do.
You shove the Radio Demon, that man you love so much it drives you to insanity. You shove him because the shame is too much, all the ugly feelings ball up inside, convincing you that you don’t deserve him, that you already lost him. And you won’t survive his dismissal.
You never talked back to him, you never raised your voice. Not because you were afraid to, but because you never had to, hence the reason why Alastor is so taken aback that your pitiful attempt of violence actually moves him from where he was standing.
Alastor shoves you back, pushing you up against the wall with a searing kiss. He kisses you like you are his last chance at salvation, like he wants to be redeemed. He licks your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, pushing his hips hard against your core, making you straddle him. Alastor doesn’t grant you a moment of reprieve, his lips come crashing down on yours again, his tongue inside your mouth dancing to a madman’s tune. He does what he does best, he takes and takes and takes. He takes your breath away, he takes all the callous words that threaten to leave your lips, aimed at him.
You succumb to your demon lover, your nails dig into his skin and he moans inside your mouth, he bites your lips enough to draw blood. In the end Alastor is still Alastor, and of course he gets all hot and bothered when fighting. You feel delirious with the taste of his lips, your blood and your salty tears mixing together, an unholy ambrosia. His hardness press just the right way to make you sing creating a current of desire after a seven year long drought.
His hands are quick, ridding up your shirt making he grab your ass and then your hips, strong enough to bruise. His clawed finger is already tweaking your nipple that way he knows you love. Your bravado melts, in perfect synchrony to when he sinks his teeth deep into your neck, drinking everything: that wretched poison that tarnished your words, the sacred warmth of your blood. You moan his name like a prayer that he promptly answers, he’s kissing you like a drowning man again, your blood on his lips painting your lips red like you both just drank from the holy grail, his hand cups your other breast and you vow to never speak to him like that again, only if it’s gonna get you up against the wall like that with him.
And then he stops.
“I hope this kiss haunts you” he says, voice still drunk with desire, low and threatening. He swiftly moves you off him, walking away and creating the same distance from when this all started “haunts your every breath, finds its way inside your every waking moment until you are mad with regret”
You are bewildered, eyes widening in disbelief. What is he doing? How can he go from 0 to a 100 so fast?
“I hope this kiss haunts you, so you never forget that you were the only woman who ever had me at the palm of her hand and you decided to throw it all away with that calamitous cynicism of yours.”
So that’s what’s happening. You can never expect to beat a master at his own game, Alastor is still cruel when he is merciful. When push comes to shove he will always win. There’s only so far you can get with taunting his repentance, playing with his heart laid bare at your feet, filled with sorrow and begging for forgiveness. He was ready to apologize, to dry your tears and soothe your fears, worshiping your delicious body and the ground you walked on. He was ready to admit that this was half his fault until your venom stung him beyond the realm of spoken word.
“I understand it now, it must be hard for you to cope with your own decisions, your own failings, so you take it all on me. I hope you remember this when you come back to beg, on your knees for my forgiveness. And trust me, you will.” Of course Alastor would torture you with the knowlodge of his guilt and despair, the loss of his benevolence, the promise of desire and carnality. He will always be a torturer at heart, and you forgot that’s the first rule you need to always remember when dealing with him.
“You’ve got your demons darling” never was your precious pet name said with such disdain. Static starts to gather around you, and in a flash his hand is on your neck
“and they all, Look. Like. Me” his voice is distorted when he finishes cursing you, there’s a tempest behind his eyes that entraps you, the burning red of his irises condemn you.
The Radio demon is a raging fire, an oncoming storm. But he is also meticulous, cruel and calculating, if you dared to question him, to step on the grace he gladly gave you, you clearly were aware of everything he did to lull his absence. All the plans and contingencies he made to hush your worrying thoughts about him and bathe your threshing heart on tranquiline waters.
And you decided to mock it. To mock him and his love for you.
You are crying again, but this time Alastor is fucking glad he was the one to hurt you, to reduce you to a mess of regret and tears.
Tonight in Hell, power shifts from one Overlord to another. Sinners plan and freak out accordingly.
But their machinations are all meaningless.
The 7 years you spent away from Alastor made you sad, the three years spent on Vox’s side made you bitter. The V’s operate on poison, it’s their fuel. And maybe the poison drips through.
Tonight you drank the poison and it broke you.
Tonight, for the first time, the poison broke Alastor too.
#HEY BUNNY ANON THIS ONE IS FOR YOU I NEVER FORGET A REQUEST I TAKE 5 MONTHS BUT I DONT FORGET IT#alastor x reader#alastor x reader smut#alastor x you#alastor fanfic#hazbin hotel x reader#the radio demon x you#im insaneeeeeeeee#baixaria#im sorry everyone#alastor#the radio demon#hazbin hotel fic
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castle on the hill // lando norris
summary: young and in love, with money to burn, lando treats his girlfriend to the winter disney trip she’s always wanted.
pairing: lando norris x youtuber! reader
guys ignore that it says receptors where it’s supposed to say recipes in one of the tweets I have no idea how that happened 😭
landonorris and y/ntube just updated their stories!
liked by riabish, landonorris and 2,345 others
y/ntube walking in a winter wonderland
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maxfewtrell please tell me that you made lando buy a pair of mickey ears
-> y/ntube tackiest ones I could find, sending u pics rn
-> landonorris blocked (i love you and I would wear the tackiest mickey ears in the park just to see you smile)
yourbestfriend marry me pls
-> y/ntube my heart is yours (just do not tell lando under any circumstances)
user god how do i find a lando?
user queen I think u dropped ur crown
user leave ur boyfriend for me queen 🥺😏
-> landonorris no
-> y/ntube double no (sorry love, i hope you find someone who cherishes u!)
y/ntube just updated her story!
landonorris just posted!
liked by maxfewtrell, maxverstappen1, y/ntube and 53,471 others
landonorris i walked with you once upon a dream
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y/ntube guys i cannot make this up, lando is currently being chased around by a mickey mouse actor who wants his autograph but lando thinks this is some kind of "five nights at freddy's shit"
->riabish lando knows that they're just actors in suits, right?
-> y/ntube honestly sometimes i doubt that...he was very starstruck meeting peter parker
-> mclaren so are we expected to keep the mariachi skeletons out of the garage in mexico?
maxfewtrell if she's wearing mickey ears and eating a mickey cookie, does it become cannibalism?
maxverstappen1 lando norris in mickey mouse ears . . . never thought i would see the day
-> landonorris don't get used to it. you will never see it again
y/ntube all jokes aside, i love you darling
-> landonorris i love you too, my darling darling girl.
-> danielricciardo god he used the words 'darling darling girl', he only ever does that when he's horny, you guys know there are children here, right?
user lmao lando is getting fucking DESTROYED in his own comments section
-> landonorris unfortunately thats not new
TAGS
@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @diorleclerc @userlando @lorarri @cartierre @love4lando @oconso @thatsdemko @sidcrosbyspuck @httpiastri @twinkodium
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#formula one x reader#f1 imagine#f1 social media au#ig aus#the christmas collection 2023#lando norris POV#lando norris smau#Spotify
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deep crust
firefighter!poe dameron x reader
happy poevember<3 here's this little alternate universe oneshot as a treat! it takes place not too long after the events of ashes to ashes, but you can read this even if you haven't read it (though it's probably more enjoyable if you have the whole context!)
summary: poe is utterly horrified to hear you've never tried a chicago pizza.
warnings: none<3
tags: poe being a drama queen, poe being absolutely whipped, fluff, kissing, just sweet stuff and moments tbh
word count: 1.2k
I gotta admit, my non american ass had heard of chicago style pizza but had never seen what it looked like before writing this so I realized it lowkey looks unappetizing (I'm so sorry chicago people)
heat me up masterlist
masterlist | taglist | ao3
updates blog: @eyelessupdates
The topic comes around the first time you officially invite Poe to have dinner at your new apartment. He's properly appalled, his jaw dropping in shock as he lets go of his fork.
“You’ve never had a deep dish?”
You smirk, knowing it would draw this reaction from him – or from anyone you know here, as a matter of fact. You know from experience, and it being so amusing each time kinda participates in the fact you’re refraining yourself from trying those famous Chicago style pizzas.
You give him a shrug of your shoulder, indifferently keeping on chewing on your salad.
“That’s fine. I’m doing fine living this way” you chuckle.
“Oh but you’re missing out.” he shakes his head, his hand closing around his glass of wine. “You don’t know it but you’ll realize and you will hate yourself for not trying them sooner.”
He sips on his wine and you scoff, looking at him, at his handsome face bathed in the warm glow of your apartment light. “You’re so dramatic.”
He points a finger at you, a stern expression over his face. “This is a proportionate reaction.”
You huff out from your nose.
He shakes his head in feign disappointment. “I can’t believe I kissed someone’s mouth who’s never had Chicago pizza” he mutters under his breath, a laugh escaping him when you playfully swat him with the back of your hand.
From there, Poe takes it as his personal mission to get you to try a Chicago pizza.
At first, it’s just a running joke. Every time he sees you, he manages to smoothly slip it into the conversation.
“I still can’t believe you’ve never had a deep dish,” he’ll sigh, shaking his head in fake dismay as you roll your eyes. Or he will go off on mini monologues, exaggerating the “wonders of Chicago’s pizza crust” – as he calls it, then proceeding to babble out an elaborate description of the layers of cheese and sauce with a genuineness that borders on comical.
And each time, you brush him off with a laugh, stubbornly sticking to your claim that you’ll get around to it eventually.
But Poe is nothing if not persistent. And the principle of making you try a Chicago pizza is also what would be considered a date with you.
One evening, you receive a text from him, a link revealing “the top ten pizzerias” in Chicago, even though he knows which one is his personal favorite.
“It’s so you have multiple options to choose from. Whichever seems the most appealing to you” he attaches to the link.
You receive another text not long after. “I’m willing to drop my favorite place but I know the owner and he would be pissed if he learned that the man that put out his kitchen fire went to another pizzeria.”
You can’t help but laugh and text him you will think about it, but he still doesn’t let up, because he has not won until he's leading you arm in arm to a pizzeria.
Finally, the very next morning, you receive another text from him while he’s on shift at the firehouse. “Even my crew thinks it’s crazy you haven’t had a real Chicago pizza. Don’t let us down here.”
You smile, shaking your head as you type back, “You’re relentless, Lieutenant”
Seconds later, his reply comes. “This is important. History is watching”
Characteristically dramatic. Then, a picture pops up. His face, mouth twisted into a small pout, and a something in his pleading eyes that makes you think he knows exactly what he’s doing because you’re quick to text back,
“Fine. Pick me up on Friday”
—
“I’m gonna show you the best in town” he assures you on Friday, his face lit up with excitement and a hand at your back as you get close to his pizzeria of choice.
You raise an eyebrow at him. “You know, I have high expectations now”
“Yeah, maybe I’m overselling it,” he laughs. “But trust me” he grins, pushing the door to the place open.
Comes the time you’re served and you take your first sample of your awaited first Chicago deep dish experience. Poe has pushed his own plate aside, waiting for the conclusion, the denouement of that whole affair.
“So?” he asks after a while, forearms leaned against the table as he intently awaits your reaction. His teeth sink into his lip, gaze thoroughly focused on every micro expression of your face as you take your time chewing on your first bite.
You lightly clear your throat once you’re done, taking the time to wipe your mouth with a napkin.
Poe impatiently shifts his position onto his seat, and you take a deep breath for the dramatic effect and impending suspense.
“Don’t get mad,” you start, pinching your lips. He stammers, his expression turning into a remorseful one at the idea you think he would truly be disappointed for you not liking it, his hand reaching for yours over the table. “–I should have listened to you. You weren’t lying” you smirk as you continue, witnessing his face clear up almost instantly, a startled laugh escaping his mouth.
“You had me in the first half” he admits with a grin, leaning back in his seat. “See? I would never lie to you.”
You glance up at him when you savor your next bite, but he’s not eating – he’s just watching you. There's a soft look of satisfaction and an underlying sweetness in his gaze, and the expression is so open and so unmistakably Poe it makes your stomach flip.
“You can breathe now,” you tease, lightly nudging his foot under the table. “Come on, eat before it’s cold”
—
You keep on teasing him when you exit the restaurant, telling him that maybe his reaction was a bit too excessive and dramatic for something that is “just pizza.” Only he’s quick to exaggeratedly counter, telling you that “it’s not just pizza, it’s a life experience”
It’s cold outside as you walk side by side down the street, in a comfortable silence between the both of you.
Your hands lightly brush and Poe's smoothly slides into yours, taking a glance over at you to make sure it is fine, and without even looking over at him, you squeeze his hand in silent assurance, firmly looking ahead of you as the feeling of his touch makes something flutter inside your chest.
His hand is warm and his grip is steady against your fingers numb from the cold, and it feels undoubtedly right to be holding his hand.
When you finally reach your building, he pauses, still holding your hand as he faces you, a soft smirk tugging at his lips.
“Can I kiss you again now that you’ve tried Chicago pizza?”
You laugh wholeheartedly, spontaneously nodding, a wide smile over your face as you lean into him. His lips are soft as they press against yours, his grip on your laced fingers tightening when you rest your other hand at the side of his face.
“Goodnight,” he says quietly, the feel of him lingering as he pulls back with a soft smile.
“Goodnight, Poe.”
You feel hollow saying this, already missing his presence.
You only let him go after kissing him again.
—
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Fox. Stockings. I won't ever be the same.
Out of curiosity, would he want his partner to put them on while he watches? Or would he want to be surprised?
I’m so glad you asked, Alli! I’ve never opened a blank doc as fast in my life as I did when I saw this.
In the Matter of Marshal Commander Fox vs. the Stocking Kink, the Court Finds the Defendant Filthy.
A/N: Great news! The insomnia thotting hours are back. Now if I can just harness them to finish my WIPs.
Pairing: Fox x Reader (Fem; has hair)
Rating: M (mature content intended for readers 18+; minors DNI)
Wordcount: 2.5k
Warnings and tags: SMUT; blatant misuse of diplomatic privileges; workplace sex; stocking kink; allusions to bondage and knife play; slight exhibitionism/voyeurism/objectification; minor predator/prey dynamic; oral sex; masturbation; spanking; cum marking; quiet dom!Fox.
Summary: Marshal Commander Fox requires your assistance.
Suggested Listening:
This fic smells like: Jasmin et Cigarette by État Libre D’Orange (condoms and cigarette smoke)
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You’d been reviewing the finer details of a proposed Senate bill for more hours than you could remember. The words seemed to shift and pulse before your gritty eyes, but you were in too deep to notice that you’d reread the same paragraph three times and still didn’t grasp its underlying meaning. A brief knock startled you out of your hyperfocus, and you glanced up from your datapad just as your aide leaned into the room.
“Sorry to bother you, Senator, but a priority delivery just arrived from the Coruscant Guard headquarters. It has a diplomatic seal. I thought you'd want to know right away.”
The kriff?
“You are absolutely correct. Thank you.”
The aide set the parcel on your desk and withdrew, discreetly closing the door on the way out of your office. You took a moment to stretch and yawn before you picked up the pouch and inspected it curiously. It wasn’t the seal that was unusual; the embassy received dozens of such secure deliveries every day. Nor was it unusual for you to receive missives from the Corries: security alerts; logistical updates; requests for information which you routinely ignored, to the chagrin of the Marshal Commander. But a diplomatically sealed delivery from the Coruscant Guard itself? That was unusual.
You broke the seal and dumped out the contents: an official memorandum printed on actual paper, and a small, plain envelope. Damn. If it’s sensitive enough to need to be printed instead of sent as a holo, my day is about to get complicated. You picked up the memo, clenching your jaw as you read the heading.
TO: Senior Representative, Planet Haneli FROM: Marshal Commander Fox, Coruscant Guard SUBJECT: Notice of Compulsory Testimony Under the Enhanced Security and Enforcement Act #192358691 Senator, Due to the Haneli embassy’s persistent lack of cooperation in regards to my repeated official requests for information in the matter of CSF-32610/CG-854201, I have no recourse but to invoke ESEA. Please report to my office tonight at 2100 hours for debriefing. Failure to comply will result in your immediate arrest and detention, and an official investigation will be opened into the matter of your obstructive actions. I trust those steps will be unnecessary. Regards, Marshal Commander Fox
I’m going to murder him. I’m going to make him eat this goddamned sheet of flimsi. I’m going to—wait, what’s in the envelope?
Your hands shook with rage as you tore it open. Inside, you found a brief handwritten note and—you froze, mouth dropping open with shock as you stared wide-eyed at the item inside. Holy Force. You glanced at the clock. Kark, kark, kark. Eight o’clock already. I need to leave now.
You sent a terse comm to your aide to notify your driver that you would require transport immediately, then grabbed the memo and the rest of the delivery, made a quick stop at the refresher, and hurried out of your office. Traffic was kriffed, and you barely made it to the Corrie Guard HQ in time. Luckily, the Commander appeared to have notified his men that you were expected, because nobody stopped you as you strode through the corridors to his office, propelled by adrenaline.
You smacked the control panel to open his door, marched to his desk, and slapped the memo down in front of him.
“What the hell is this supposed to mean?” you demanded.
“Senator, he replied mildly. “So good of you to join me.”
“You didn’t give me much choice,” you snapped. “Threatening to arrest me? Really, Commander?”
He tapped a button on his vambrace, and the door slid shut behind you, beeping softly as it locked. “That was only half of my message. Did you read the rest?”
“Oh, I read it,” you replied in a dangerous tone. “Every single word.”
“Good. I’d hate to have to repeat myself.”
He stood and moved out from behind his desk. He walked deliberately, purposely invading your space, but you refused to back down. Once he was close enough that his chestplate nearly brushed against you, he stopped and removed his helmet and gloves, meeting your eyes with a hint of a smile.
“You look absolutely stunning tonight,” he murmured, stroking his knuckles lightly across your cheek.
“Thanks, it’s the looming incarceration. Really brings out my eyes.”
He laughed quietly and threaded his fingers through the hair at the base of your skull. He rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes for a moment before his lips met yours softly. “You didn’t really think I’d arrest you, did you?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had me in binders.”
“Nor the last. But I have something else in mind tonight.”
“So I gathered,” you murmured, kissing him again and again as you began to unbuckle his armor. “Any particular reason we had to do this in your office instead of at the embassy in my lovely and very clean bed?”
“My office is clean.”
Your gaze dropped pointedly to a suspicious stain on the carpet.
“Mostly,” he added.
“If it’s an office hookup you’re after, we could have used mine. It has a sofa, you know. Very roomy. Very soft.”
“No good,” he replied as his lips traveled down your throat. “Has to be here. That way every time I look at my desk, I can remember what you look like spread out on it.”
“Fair enough.” You eased open the seal of his undersuit and pushed it off his shoulders, pausing for a moment to admire the view. “You’re so fucking gorgeous. I’ll never get over you.”
He rumbled in approval as you trailed your hands over his exposed skin, tracing the scars—both familiar and new—and lines of ink.
“What happened here?” you asked, flicking your tongue over a recently healed scar on his shoulder.
“Trando bounty hunter. It’s a boring story.”
“I doubt that,” you replied dryly.
“It was only a scratch, my love,” he murmured. “A bit of plastcrete shrapnel. No need to give me that look.”
“No doubt they gave you another medal for your display case.”
“Not this time,” he chuckled. “But it’s a good story to tell the shinies.”
“You take too many risks.”
“And you’re stalling,” he said in a low voice. “Take it off.”
“Take what off?” you asked, the very picture of innocence.
“Take it off,” he repeated, trailing his fingertips along your neckline. “I want to see you.”
“Say please.”
His fingertips reached the bottom of your neckline and slid beneath the fabric to caress between your breasts. He lowered his face to your shoulder, then grazed his nose along your neck, breathing in your scent before he whispered, “Take off the goddamned dress before I cut it off you.”
You inhaled sharply as your heart began to pound. That was tempting. Very tempting. But the thought of leaving Corrie HQ in nothing but the tattered remains of your senatorial robe was enough to persuade you to choose the wiser option. You began to unbutton the garment slowly.
Fox drew back to lean against his desk, intently watching the progress of your hands as they descended, revealing a hint more skin with each button that opened. At last, you reached the final button and allowed the gown to fall to the floor, fully exposed to his gaze and wearing nothing but the shimmersilk stockings he’d sent in the diplomatic pouch.
His eyes traveled lazily down your body, taking in the sight of you. All the oxygen seemed to disappear from the room. Your skin prickled with awareness, and for an instant, you felt like a prey animal caught in the grip of a dangerous predator. You swallowed as your pulse began to race, but you forced yourself not to cover your vulnerability in the face of his intense scrutiny.
“Turn around,” he ordered quietly.
You complied, resisting the temptation to look back over your shoulder at his reaction. He moved without a sound, and you nearly flinched when his hand slid around your hip and down your thigh, feeling the sheer, satiny fabric that stretched over your flesh. His breath ghosted over your shoulder, soft and warm, triggering a shudder of desire that raced down your spine.
“You did just as I asked,” he murmured, gliding his other hand up your abdomen to cup your breast, squeezing your nipple softly between two fingers.
“Your note was extremely clear,” you replied.
I don’t want to see anything but these when I get you out of that dress tonight. —F.
“And for once, you followed my orders,” he said. His lips grazed along your jaw. “I think that deserves a reward.”
He pulled you back against his body so you could feel his erection grinding against your ass through the stockings. He stroked back up your thigh and between your legs, and when he reached your pussy, he let out a low groan. “Fuck, love, you’ve soaked through them.”
“In my defense,” you said breathlessly, “I had plenty of time to speculate about what you were planning on my drive over.”
The soft puff of his laugh was warm against your skin, and he began to kiss a slow trail down your spine as he knelt behind you. When he reached your ass, he nuzzled against it, rubbing his face over the shimmersilk, kissing and nibbling, taking the fabric between his teeth and letting it snap back against your skin.
“So good for me,” he whispered. “Such a sweet little thing.”
He turned you around, guiding you with his hands on your hips until you stood facing him. Your mouth went dry at the sight of him on his knees for you, gazing up at you with naked desire in his eyes.
“Spread your legs for me, darling. I want to taste you.”
“Who am I to disobey the Marshal Commander?” you asked, your cheeky tone slightly less than convincing thanks to the noticeable rasp in your voice.
He shot you a lopsided grin, and then his hands slid up the backs of your thighs to grip your ass and pull you against his face.
“Fuck!” you gasped as his tongue slid over the gossamer fabric that covered your pussy.
He let out a soft, choked moan as he finally tasted you. The sensation was strange. It felt almost like a tease: you could feel every movement of his lips and tongue over your skin, but it was muted, subdued by the delicate layer between the two of you. His hands roamed greedily over your legs, massaging your flesh, tugging at the stockings, feeling the smooth, satiny fabric.
Abruptly, he pulled away and stood, gripping you by the waist and spinning you around to sit on his desk. He kissed you hard and deeply, then pressed your shoulders back until you were lying down with your legs dangling over the edge. He knelt once again and kissed a path up the inside of your leg until he reached the top of your thigh, then his hands slid up and tugged down the waistband just far enough for his tongue to plunge into you.
Tightening your legs around his head, you let out a hoarse whimper. A deep, satisfied rumble vibrated from his mouth into you as you writhed beneath him. Your fingers found their way into his hair, twining and tugging. All the while, his hands never ceased to explore and tease and play with you, gliding over your thighs as he reveled in the feeling of you wrapped around him.
He sucked and kissed and licked and teased, working you inexorably toward your orgasm, until at last your thighs locked and you clamped your hand over your mouth to muffle your scream of pleasure. With a grunt of displeasure, he reached up and tugged your hand away so he could hear you. He worked you through your climax as your body thrashed, and when you finally collapsed against the desk in exhaustion, he stood to lean over you, kissing you deeply, the taste of you still on his tongue.
“Let me come on your ass,” he whispered.
You nodded shakily, too spent to speak. He helped you to stand, then bent you forward over the desk and pulled the waistband of your stockings back up. His cock prodded against your thigh, and he took a moment to press and rub it against your ass through the shimmersilk before he began to stroke himself in a firm, steady rhythm. His cock and hand nudged against you with every movement, and his other hand squeezed and slapped your ass roughly. A deep groan tore from him, and his breath grew loud and ragged as his speed increased.
You heard a sharp gasp, and then the hot spurt of his cum splattered across your ass and back. A shudder wracked your body, and you desperately wished you could see his face as he pumped his cock until he had nothing left to give. With a soft grunt, he fell forward, catching himself on the desk with one hand just before he would have landed on you.
“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he panted. “So fuckin’ gorgeous, covered in my cum.”
He trailed his fingertips through the mess on your back, and then flattened his palm and smeared it across your skin, drawing an appreciative hum from you. Rolling over onto your side, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close. He melted against you, tucking his face into your shoulder.
“This desk is hard as kriff,” he mumbled. “I’m beginning to see a flaw in my plan.”
You laughed quietly. “Sofa is sounding pretty appealing right now, is it?”
“Mm. Next time.”
“I can’t wait to see what excuse you fabricate to throw my staff off the scent when that happens.”
“If your staff are anything like mine, they’ve already figured it out.” He kissed your shoulder and moved down your chest to suck gently at your nipple.
You brushed your hand up his back and neck to cradle his head against you. “I wonder what they’d say if they knew you were abusing the diplomatic seal to send me lingerie and overbearing demands for a hookup.”
“They’d either applaud my ingenuity or have me stripped of rank,” he chuckled. “I should get you cleaned up. As soon as my legs start working again.”
Later, after he helped you back into your gown, he wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss onto the top of your head. You leaned into his embrace, relaxing against his body with a tired yawn.
“That was a thorough debriefing, Commander,” you murmured. “I hope I was able to satisfy your curiosity.”
“For the moment,” he replied. “But the case is still open. I might need you again soon. Very soon.”
“Mm,” you smiled. “I’m sure the Haneli embassy will be happy to cooperate in any way you deem necessary.”
“Trying to avoid arrest, my love?”
“I’m afraid that’s confidential diplomatic information.”
Taglist:
@secondaryrealm @sev-on-kamino @523rdrebel @wings-and-beskar @merkitty49
@sinfulsalutations @arcsimper5 @starrylothcat @clio3kantarella
@cloneloverrrrr @goblininawig @ladytano420 @arctrooper69 @sunshinesdaydream
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life update tag game
thanks @queen-saltyfries for the tag, i haven't done something short and sweet like this in ages!
🎧 Last Song: X - tinashe (side note!!! I got to meet tinashe this week, screaming crying throwing up)
🖍️ Favourite Color: inky blue (almost navy but not really)
📚 Last Book: giovanni's room - james baldwin (which was like months and months ago...)
🎥 Last Movie: batman begins (rewatch) but new movie i think was bullet train with @celeritas2997 and we were extremely bewildered for like 99% of the movie
📺 Last TV-Show: the good place
🍜 Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: i used to say sweet but now i say savoury. my palate is refined (i eat bowls of plain tofu as sustenance) 😌
💕 Relationship Status: there's a ring involved that i never wear
🌐 Last thing I googled: 'when do you need a blood transfusion?' (don't look at me @strandnreyes!!!!)
💓 Current Obsession: my cat and also stone fruit? i'm in a peach phase rn sorry @rmd-writes
🔮 Looking forward to: surviving my statistics unit i'm currently taking 🙏 (everyone pray PLEASE. I REALLY NEED IT.).
🏷️ open tag, the people tagged above and putting some below as a gentle suggestion!
@she-walked-away @reyesstrand @carlos-tk @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses
@lutavero @fitzherbertssmolder @firstprince-history-huh @firenati0n @cha-melodius
@lightningboltreader @guardian-angle22 @decafdino @emsprovisions @ironheartwriter
@tellmegoodbye @clottedcreamfudge @freneticfloetry @everwitch-magiks @lemonlyman-dotcom
@porcelainmortal @carlossreaders @nisbanisba @whatsintheboxmh @thisbuildinghasfeelings
@liminalmemories21
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The dad who stepped up; John Wick x oc teen
*Author's note*
Okay so this is the first update in what feels like forever. Now that I'm on winter break and away from home I can start to feel the creative juices flowing. I might also post up some other stuff that I've had saved but didn't feel confident in posting before as some christmas gifts for you all.
But this oneshot (possibly might turn this into a series but only AFTER I've seen all the John Wick films. I've seen bits and pieces on youtube but never all the way through *dodges flying objects*) So just to put in prespective this is a prologue before the first film. Like the five years John has once he retires. But I wanna see how all of you like this and if anyone wants to see this turned into a series, give me a shoutout below and comment whether you wish to be tagged or not.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, parental abandonment, cancer mentioned.
Taglist:
@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels
@queen-paladin
@waddles03
@plethora-of-things
@psychosupernatural
@remussl0vers
@queensdivas
_______________________________________________________
If you think being a teenage girl is bad enough, try being the teenage daughter of the infamous Baba Yaga. Well not blood related but I’ve known John Wick for most of my pre-teen/teenage life. He was a wild card I never expected coming into mine or my mother’s life, hell men like him only exist in my mom’s Fabio romance novels.
Even though I would later in life learn of who he truly was, I still can’t help but think back to the days when he first came into our lives.
Age 11
It all started when I had came back from my first summer at Camp Walden. I had learned about this camp from my best friend and I pleaded with my mom for me to go. At first she acted like she wasn’t even going to allow me to go but then on the last day of school, she had surprised me with an application of approval and a plane ticket for me to go to Camp Walden.
I spent eight weeks at the all-girls camp learning how to fence, canoe, all the typical fun camp stuff. Made some new friends and would write letters to my mom every single night (as per her conditions since there wasn’t any cell service up there).
I got off the plane with all my bags and looked around the gate until I caught sight of my mom. She held out a welcome home sign and when she found me from the load of passengers, she and I raced up to each other and hugged each other tightly. She picked me up rocking me back and forth kissing me repeatedly.
“Oh I hope you had a lousy time at that camp because I am never sending you there again, I missed you too much!”
“I missed you too mom.”
“Wait did you…..you got your haircut?” when I had went I had pretty long hair and now I come back from camp with my hair up to my shoulders.
“Yeah when we were playing truth or dare, a girl was dared to cut someone’s hair and since I had the longest I was the victim. Luckily for me her mom’s a stylist and she learned from her. Are you mad?”
“I would be but she did something I’ve never been able to make you do since you were little.” We both laughed as she held me close to her again and we began to leave the airport.
“So mom how’s your summer been?”
“Oh the typical single mom empty nester. Watching trash tv and drinking mimosas.” I shook my head at her. “But I wanna hear more about camp. Eight weeks of not hearing your voice is way too long for me.”
“Yeah it was a lot for me too mom. But it was a lot of fun. I got some pics of some foxes that came by the camp.”
“Ohhh exciting. I know you’ll be adding those to your collection my little fox kit.”
“Yeah. And canoeing is much more difficult than they make it seem on TV. We got tipped over like five times and we didn’t even leave the docks.”
“Awww man, I’m sorry baby.” We threw my stuff into the trunk and I rode in the passenger seat while mom drove us out of the airport parking lot and we headed for home. “Oh by the way your aunt Chessy just had to be here to see you come home so expect to be smothered by her.”
“Did she bring Sammy?” I asked excitedly.
“You know your aunt. Never leaves home without that dog of hers.” I clapped my hands excitedly.
“Also baby I have surprise to tell you once you get settled in.”
“A surprise? What is it?”
“It’s a surprise and like I said I want you to get settled in first before I tell you what it is. It’s tiring flying from coast to coast non-stop so I want you to take as much time as you need to get settled.” I let out a groan as I sat back in the seat. When you’re a kid and you hear the word ‘surprise’ you never want to wait for it. But grownups just love to do that to you.
Before long we finally arrived at the house and mom put the car in park in the driveway and turned the engine off. I stepped out of the car and looked at my house in relief. The door was left wide open and I immediately heard barking as Sammy, my aunt’s golden retriever raced out and came over to me.
“Sammy!” he came up and sat down allowing me to hug and kiss him.
“Oh now this fully grown woman can’t be my little Sarah can it!?” I heard aunt Chessy’s voice say as she came out. I let go of Sammy and ran up to her and she too picked me up just like mom did at the airport. Spinning me around and rocking me back and forth. “Oh welcome home baby girl. We missed you soo much! Hey,” she separated our hug and took both my arms in her hands as she continued, “Don’t you dare convince your mom to send you that way again for far too long. You’re lucky I soil you too much otherwise I wouldn’t have extended my stay.”
“I love you too aunt Chessy. Camp was fun but there’s truly no place like home.”
“Amen to that sister. You’re just in time I made cornbread and chili your favorite.”
“Did I just hear cornbread and chili?” mom perked up as she carried my bags over her shoulder.
“Yeah it’s on the stove but Sarah gets the first bowl. And Helen don’t carry all that weight, that’s what I’m here for.” Aunt Chessy grabbed my bags while mom briefly gave her a glare but aunt Chessy gave her a look back. “C’mon kid, let’s get you inside and well fed.” As we walked back inside with Sammy sticking to mom’s side whimpering and licking her hand, that’s when I began to notice the black mustang also parked in our driveway.
I sat down at my balcony bed while aunt Chessy began unpacking my bags. I had my bowl of chili with the cornbread inside of it in my lap and I said.
“Hey aunt Chessy, how’d you afford a mustang from the rental car place?”
“Oh I wish I could afford one in real life. But that car doesn’t belong to me.”
“So what did mom get it or something?” I asked. That’s when we heard my mom giggling. I turned and looked outside and saw her with a man right out by the pool. The man was sitting on one of the pool chairs and I could see he had pure black hair, wore sunglasses and a dark t-shirt. “Who is he?”
“Sarah it’s none of my business how my big sister ruins her life she’s a big girl.” Aunt Chessy said as she began taking out all my dirty clothes. I set my bowl of chili aside and went up to her and said as I wrapped my arms around her right one.
“C’mon aunt Chessy I need to know. Who is he?” aunt Chessy let out a deep sigh and turned to me.
“His name is John Wick. Your mom met him at the gas station when she accidentally forgot to grab her wallet to pay for gas. If you ask me I think he wanted something a bit more than just to be a good Samaritan.”
“What do you mean?” this time we could hear a splash by the pool and mom’s laughter before it turned to shrieks and then back to laughter again. Aunt Chessy let out a groan as she rolled her eyes. I went to grab my camera while Aunt Chessy continued on her rant.
“Look you know how I’ve felt about men especially after your father left you guys. So I gotta ask myself what does a man like that who belongs in a Fabio romance novel want with a woman who is trying to work out her life as a single mom? Then I realize there’s a million reasons why that man has stuck around, and all of it is just waiting to be spent from the New York bank.” As she talked I stood there with my camera to see both my mom and John in the pool together at first playing like little kids before being wrapped in each other’s arms.
“What you think he’s loaded or something?” I asked.
“Ehh what do I know? But I’ll tell you one thing, this man’s got your mother eating out of the palm of his hand. They do everything together, they go on drives in that car of his, they swim together, they go out to eat dinner every single night. But you know what, meet him. See for yourself, don’t let me influence you.”
I saw them making goo-goo eyes at each other before kissing each other as they remained in the pool. I snapped a quick picture of them and felt an odd feeling in my stomach as I looked down at them. Could he be the surprise that mom was talking about?
After I had my lunch and aunt Chessy was now doing my laundry, I got on my bathing suit and put on a Shadow the hedgehog t-shirt over it along with some old sandals. I grabbed my sunglasses and decided to head out to the pool.
There I saw John once again sitting on the pool chair with my mom just coming out of the pool and grabbing a towel.
“Ohh Sarah, didn’t expect you to come down so soon.”
“Figured I’d stretch my legs out in the pool. At least this time I won’t have algae or wet sand between my toes.” I said wiggling my toes as I kicked my sandals off my feet.
“Well since you’re here I guess there’s no time like the present ehh? Sarah, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.” She came up behind me and walked us closer to John. “Sarah, this is John Wick.”
He removed his sunglasses and I finally got a better look at his face. A sharp facial structure and a scruff beard that had some hidden grey to it. Deep brown eyes that pierced through my very soul and almost sent a chill of fear up my spine.
“Hello.” His voice had a slight ruggedness to it but it also had warmth and friendliness to it. Not like how when someone who has a rasp to their voice it makes them creepy.
“Hi, Mr. Wick.” I greeted shyly as I placed my sunglasses on top of my head.
“Well I can’t believe I’m finally meeting the famous Sarah. I’ve been looking forward to this all summer.” John said as he adjusted himself to sit up properly and get a better look at me.
“Really well here I am.” I said with a shrug.
“Helen, you’ve been holding out on me. The way your mom has talked about you I expected to meet a little girl but you are so grown up and just as beautiful as her.”
“I’ll be 12 soon. How old are you?”
“Sarah!” exclaimed my mom as tugged me by my shoulders.
“It’s fine Helen. There should actually be no shame in children asking adults their ages.” John assured my mom. “To answer your question I’m 43.”
“That’s 32 years older than me! How old are you again mom.” I asked looking up at her.
“Wow if only you were this interested in math when it comes to your homework. Look I’m going to head inside and get some food. Maybe even check to make sure Chessy is doing the laundry correctly. I love my little sister but sometimes she can be a scatter brain when it comes to laundry. Be right back.” With that mom left me alone with her new ‘boyfriend’.
“My aunt said that you guys met at a gas station, is that true?”
“Yes that is true. I don’t know the full story but from what I did see, the cashier was giving your mother a pretty hard time so I thought I’d give her a hand and help pay for her gas. And not three days later at the Walmart nearby she actually helped me with finding the better laundry detergent. From there I guess you could say the rest is history.”
“How come my mom didn’t mention you in the letters she’d send me?” John let out a deep sigh and looked at me with a sympathetic look.
“I imagine this is pretty awkward, right?” I merely shrugged as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Your mom felt that this type of news would’ve been better to be talked about in person. But I want you to know this Sarah, these past eight weeks I’ve really come to care for your mother. And I wish I can do the same for you, but if not I’ll understand and I’ll walk away.”
Now this is something I’ve never heard of happening in real life. Normally the partner wouldn’t allow their lover’s child to dictate whether or not they’ll stay together. But just from seeing mom and him together, that’s the happiest I’ve seen her since……him.
Needless to say (and as you all know) John Wick stuck around with my mother. They waited to get married until a year into their blossoming relationship. And it was also after their marriage that mom and I would leave our home of Nappa, California and go to live with John in his house in New York.
It was out in upstate New York so just roughly about a 20-30min drive away from the city. It was fairly similar in size to our old house back home with wide open spaces, a good sized backyard, and a two door garage.
Ever since they got married, mom’s always tried to have John and I do some ‘father-daughter’ bonding time. And even though John did his best to understand my interests whether it came to gaming, music, or movie trivia, there was just something about being alone with him that didn’t sit right with me. I already got fooled once by my dad once, I wasn’t going to let another one do the same thing to me again.
Age 13
I was sitting in the passenger seat of John’s mustang as we drove into the city to pick up some groceries. Mom had to suddenly be called into work with an emergency and John said he didn’t want to leave me alone in the house by myself.
After a brief back and forth with each other of how whether or not I was capable of staying at the home by myself, I ended up losing that battle and had to tag along. As we walked through the aisles picking out everything we needed, my eye soon caught a bunch of people at a table advertising something.
I noticed their posters for the Gotham Archery classes. And there happened to be one right nearby in Manhattan. I turned to John to see him looking at some deals on eggs then turned my attention back towards the table. Archery did always fascinate me but there was never any schools or lessons back at California that were within driving range of us so I could only fantasize about shooting an actual bow and arrow like Legolas or Merida did.
“You want to go talk to them?” I jumped at John’s voice and looked up at him.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been staring at them for the past five minutes without even blinking. So either you’ve got some beef with one of those gentleman or you’d like to go talk to them and think about joining them.”
“Yeah that’s funny. Me doing archery.” I scoffed as I brushed it off with a laugh.
“What’s so funny about that?” he leaned his arms over the shopping cart as he raised his brow at me. One look at his eyes and I knew he wasn’t kidding around.
“You—you’re being serious?”
“If it’s something you’re interested in, you should go for it.” A strange fluttery feeling came into my chest when he said that. Dad never really took the time to encourage me to go out for something, it was always mom who tried to push me to achieve what I want. So hearing this from an adult male, especially someone like John Wick felt strange and new to me.
I took a deep breath and walked over to the table and it was there I began my journey into the world of archery.
After bringing John over to the table so that he could get some of the information too (since I was under 18 I needed to have an adult present for the information given and to ensure that there would be an adult present whenever I was taken to classes).
We had a meeting that night with my mom and she was so proud that I had managed to find something to do here in New York. And already having John be the chosen supervised parent to go along with me also made her happy to know that we finally managed to find something to bond over.
After several months of lessons, I actually ended up doing a lot better at archery than I could imagine. So much so that my instructor encouraged me to participate in the upcoming tournament that would be held at their school in Brooklyn.
Mom, aunt Chessy and John all came to support me in the tournament but when I began to see the large crowd that was gathering around to see all of us that was competing, my heart began to race and my stomach began churning.
“Full house, oh sweet Jesus.” I groaned as I held my stomach tightly. I fiddled with my archer’s glove unhooking and re-hooking the straps as my anxiety was starting to go through the roof.
“And here we have future gold medalist Olympic archer Sarah Wick.” I shook my head trying to hide the smile etching at the corner of my mouth and looked up to see John with his phone pointed right towards me.
“Haha you’re such a comedian.” I mocked sarcastically.
“No joke. Those archers don’t know who they’re about to go against.” I winced slightly as I looked down and fiddled with my glove once again. “Hey, everything okay?” he asked concerningly. He pocketed his phone and sat down in front of me.
Could I maybe trick him into taking me home? Mom never fell for the classic ‘fake sickness’ trick whenever I needed to get out of something. Guess that’s just something mom’s automatically know, but John—he wouldn’t know and I’ll bet he wouldn’t even ask questions about it.
“I’m not feeling so good John. I think I need to go home and lay down. Yeah that’s it let’s go home.” I went to sit up but he held onto my shoulder and pressed his other hand to my forehead.
“You don’t seem to be running a fever.”
“It’s a stomach bug. Suddenly started up out of nowhere.” I let out a pained hiss as I groaned lowly. When I looked up at him, one look on his face told me that he wasn’t buying this act for a second. “This isn’t working is it?”
“It was a good try.” He acknowledged giving me a wink. I dropped the act as I let out a deep sigh.
“How do you guys always seem to know when we’re faking it?”
“I may have only been in the parenting game for a short time, but I know how to spot the classic ‘feigning sick bit’. Even pulled it myself from time to time. Now you wanna share what’s really going on?”
I don’t even know myself why I suddenly felt like coming clean to him. Whether it was him not talking down to me in order to get the answer, or him even acknowledging that I did my best to fake him out. Either way I finally came clean to him.
“I didn’t think there was going to be so many people here to see us compete. It’s stressing enough with the judges, but the people in the audience……I’m just—so afraid that I’m gonna make a total fool of myself.” John let out a soft hum as he nodded softly.
“I believe what you’re going through right now is what they call stage fright. Everyone gets it, even me.”
“You? I don’t believe you.”
“Oh yeah. Believe it or not this 45 year old, 6’1 giant of a man has and still sometimes deals with anxiety and stage fright.” We both softly chuckled at his statement.
“How do you get by?”
“One step at a time. I can only control what I can. And yes there will be the unknown that you wish you could say ‘hey I want you to do this’ or ‘you’re gonna do it this way’. But we can’t let the fear dictate over something we love.”
“Wow…..that’s—deep.”
“I try my best.” John merely shrugged, which got another laugh out of me. “And think of it this way; after today: No one but your mother, aunt, instructor and I will remember what you did here today. So don’t do your best for those nameless people out in the audience, do it for the ones that really know you.”
“Thanks John. That really helped more than you know.” He gently squeezed my shoulder and said.
“Glad I could help. And good luck out there.” He stood up and walked back to join my mom and aunt at their seats.
Whenever mom gave me advise or encouragement while she always looked on the positive aspects of it, just between the lines I knew there were times that she would sugarcoat certain things. Like there was too much optimism in certain events that I knew wouldn’t be good but she’d always make it seem like everything was going to be okay.
John, however, just hearing him speak about the reality of the situation but not making it sound too cynical. He somehow managed to find the perfect balance of optimism and realistic philosophy.
And it paid off. By the end of the tournament I had gotten three bronze medals and a silver medal for all the categories I had decided to compete in.
As the years went by, there would also come a test that would push the Wick family to the extreme. When I turned 14, my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor. There would be days when she was able to live with us and live a normal life, but there were dark days when she’d have to live in the hospital for weeks on end.
Age 15
This was one of mom’s bad weeks. One day when John and her were out on their wedding anniversary date out in the city. I had gotten a call from John telling me that she had collapsed when they were walking along the docks after their dinner.
However unlike before, this time the tumor had attacked her so aggressively that she now has to be on a ventilator to help her breathe properly. The doctor’s say that even though there’s brain activity, she’s unfortunately locked in a coma-like state and it’s unknown on when she’ll wake up…..or ever.
It was also throughout this time that John and I began to lean more on each other now more than ever. Especially when he came back into the picture out of nowhere.
It was just after school when John and I decided to visit mom in the hospital. I had gotten my German test that he had helped me study for and I wanted to tell mom how I had aced it. She always wanted to make sure that I never fell back on my class work no matter what events or after-school activities I had. We arrived at the hospital parking lot and as we got out of John’s mustang, I asked him.
“Before long I’ll have to start driving, think I can practice driving the mustang?”
“Just because you passed your German exam doesn’t make you an expert on my mustang.” He told me.
“Oh come on John. I’ve been paying attention to how you shift the gears and I dare say I’m confident enough to drive it.”
“There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.”
“That hurts John. That really hurts!” I exclaimed as I held my heart like I had been shot.
“Yeah, yeah report it to Child services. Come on.” we headed into the building and checked in to see my mom. We walked down the familiar corridor and saw mom in the same position as she has since her check in. Laying still and motionless on the bed. I came up and sat beside her and took her hand in mine.
“Hey mom, we’re back. Just like we promised. Hey get this, you know that German test that John’s been helping me with? I aced it. Can you believe it, after months of struggling I finally get an A+ for that class.”
“The real credit goes to your daughter Helen. She’s the one who took the test, all I did was teach her a few tricks to remember what she needed to learn.” Said John as he sat on the other side of my mom’s bed. Soon my mom’s doctor came in and greeted us.
“Mr. Wick, Ms. Wick.”
“Dr. Sanchez. How has she been?” John asked.
“Well some good news at least. We’ve noticed how she’s been able to now breathe on her own so we took her off the ventilator and for the past ten hours she’s been breathing just fine on her own.” We both sighed in a huge relief.
“Any signs on when she’ll wake up?” I asked.
“That unfortunately is still yet to be determined. But we’ll continue to constantly monitor her progress and we’ll call you with any new updates Mr. Wick.” He said the last part to John since he was the emergency contact for my mom.
“Thank you Dr. Sanchez, truly.” He nodded and soon left the room leaving the three of us alone. John took his spot back at my mom’s right side while I fiddled with the new bracelet that John had gifted them for their anniversary. “You were right about the bracelet.”
“Told yah. Mom’s never been one for clunky or flashy jewelry. And it really is beautiful.” I stroked along the silver flowers that decorated the bracelet.
“I’m gonna head down and get some coffee, you want anything from the cafeteria?”
“I’ll be okay till we get home.”
“I’ll get you some water.”
“John!” I whined.
“You don’t drink enough of it, you gotta stay hydrated.” He said standing up and circled around mom’s bed before gently shaking my head around before leaving the room. I shook my head and said.
“He really is a great guy mom. We’ve actually been getting along more lately since you had to stay here. He’s been taking me to school, archery practice, helping out with my homework. And been the support system I needed even though he’s hurting himself. He may not want to admit out loud, but I sometimes hear him cry at night without you there. So—keep fighting mom. Please, we need you home.”
I lay my head down on her bed as I gripped her hand in both of mine as tightly as I could.
“Helen? Sarah?” I gasped as my eyes shot wide open. I turned towards the door and there I saw someone I never expected to see ever again. My dad.
“D-d…..d…..” I stammered.
“My god, Sarah is that really you? God look at you you’re all….”
“What the hell are you doing here?!” I snapped. “How did you find us?!”
“I-I didn’t. My son’s here for his final chemo treatment.” His son? He went and had another kid after he abandoned me and mom? “So Helen’s got……”
“I don’t need to tell you shit!” I snapped. “Get out of here since that’s what you’re good at!”
“Sarah come on. It wasn’t my fault. I thought you were right behind me, honest!” bullshit. He knew what he was doing that day, I’ve come to grips with it. “That day at the mall…..”
“Don’t ever mention that day to me. I was so—so.......” my voice quivered as I tried to contain my emotions that were boiling inside of me after 8 years.
“Oh hey, hey. Don’t-don’t cry baby girl.” He tried to comfort me. I heard his footsteps getting closer to me and once I saw his feet within my vision I pushed him back aggressively. “Sarah!” my dad exclaimed in surprise.
“Get out.” I lowly sneered.
“Baby girl I’m trying to make things right with you.”
“Get out, get out, get out.” I kept muttering as my hand fidgeted at the door.
“Sarah I’m your father—” the second he stepped closer to me. I lashed out with my best right hook and nailed in right across the face screaming at him.
“GET OUT!!!” I tackled him beating him with my fists. Punching, clawing and slapping him repeatedly in a blind rage repeatedly telling him to get out through my grunts and growls.
I really don’t recall what all happened after that but I soon felt arms wrap around my waist trying to pull me away. I tried fighting back but my arms were soon pinned to my side as I heard John’s voice suddenly break through my rage.
“Sarah enough! Easy! Easy!” I stopped and my vision became clear once again. My dad’s face was bleeding profusely as nurses and security had now came to see what the commotion was.
John escorted me out but security tried to stop him. There were words exchanged between the two of them before John took me out of the hospital. All the while keeping a secure grip on me but not manhandling me.
Everything felt—numb. The sounds of the city were muffled and I barely felt myself being moved around. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking and my heart was pounding so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest. Never before have I felt such rage to get me into that blind state and attack someone like that.
Next thing I knew, I suddenly felt a stinging sensation on my hand and I went to lash out but a hand stopped me and my vision suddenly became clear. I found myself back at home with John kneeling in front of me, my wrist gently grasped in his calloused grip.
“Easy, easy. You’re home now Sarah.” Home. Frantically my eyes looked around to see if it was true and I soon came to realize what had happened. I was home, my real home.
Like a crack steadily increasing along a newly broken mirror, my shock suddenly began to overflow as tears rapidly fell down my face. Immediately I wrapped my arms around John’s waist as I buried my face into his chest and wept hysterically.
“I’m sorry John….I’m so sorry John…..I-I didn’t want you to see…..” I spoke through my hysterical sobs. John instantly wrapped his arms around me, one hand rubbing my back while the other was buried within my hair gently stroking and massaging my scalp.
“It’s okay, let it out. Just let yourself fall apart. I promise to hold you together.” He softly whispered into my ear. The moment he had said that, I had let out the most gut-wrenching, raw, almost animalistic sob of rage, grief, self-hate, confusion, and sorrow that I had kept bottled in since the day my dad abandoned me.
And true to his word, John kept his tight yet comforting hold on me with each raw sob that came out of my mouth.
After what felt like an eternity and for doctoring up my bruised and bleeding knuckles and palm, I lay there in my room just fingering the bandaged wraps that John had placed over my wounds. We didn’t speak after my breakdown but somehow he knew that I needed to have some alone time.
Slowly I got out of bed and headed towards mom and John’s room. The door was shut so I went up and knocked so softly I thought he wouldn’t hear me.
“Come in.” I heard him say. I opened the door and saw John laying across the bed. “Hey Sarah. You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. Can…..we talk?” John nodded and allowed me to sit on mom’s side of the bed. I pulled my legs up to my chest as I took mom’s pillow and held it over my knees. The faint scent of her perfume still lingered onto the pillow. “Did she ever tell you about him?”
“Your aunt made it clear that your father was a…..sensitive subject.” Of course she did.
“I was seven years old. We were out at the mall having our monthly daddy-daughter date. He took me out to red lobster to eat, and then took me to all my favorite stores. Next thing I know as I’m looking at some video games, he’s just gone. I called out for him in the crowded mall but I couldn’t find him anywhere. It was pure luck that a mall cop found me after 20 minutes. I was so frightened and confused…….” I sniffled and wiped away the tears that were burning in my eyes. “Why did he just leave me like that? Was it something I did or said or—And to come back after supposedly living his new life…..”
“Hey, hey.” His large hand encompassed both of mine as I was clenching mom’s pillow so tightly my knuckles were turning white. His touch alone made me relax even though I didn’t want to. “He had no right to suddenly come up to you after all these years. And you are not to blame for him abandoning you.”
“Then why did he do it?” I asked brokenly.
“I wish I had an answer for you. But know that no excuse he can come up with will ever justify what he did.” he wrapped his arm around me, allowing my head to rest just over his heart once again. I shut my eyes allowing a few tears to fall drip down my face.
“You’ve been nothing but supportive and loving to me these past few years. And I never thought I’d find myself saying this but I like you John. I really, really do like you. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to call you…... you know. It still hurts to even say the word out loud.”
“I understand. I never expected you to come forth and call me ‘that word’ as soon as your mom and I got married. I just wanted you to know that you’ve got another person in your corner whenever you feel like you can’t talk to your mom or aunt about something.”
“Thank you John, for everything.” We looked at each other lovingly and he brought me into a tight hug.
“And can I just say, that was an impressive right hook you gave him.” I laughed as I buried my face chest and gripped onto him tighter while I felt him place a loving kiss to the crown of my head.
One last thing I’ve noticed about John were his hugs. There truly was a difference between the way my mom hugs and the way he hugs. Mom’s hugs were always a gentle comfort like being wrapped in a fleece blanket.
John’s hugs—well his were like a protective barrier. Like nothing in the world could get to me and he was going to ensure it with each tight, comforting squeeze he gave. And while it felt like my bones could pop and break any second, it felt comforting to know that such strength could be so gentle when needed to be.
#john wick#john wick imagine#john wick x oc#john wick x helen wick#john wick imagines#john wick fanfic#john wick fanfiction#keanu reeves#keanu reeves character imagine#john wick x reader#john wick x you#keanuverse#keanu characters
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𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱
Mason Mount x reader
Word count: 3,1k
Summary: Toxic friend and hot boyfriend, maybe an opportunity for some revenge
Warnings: Angst, mentions of toxic friend and partner, smut!
Notes: So long since I updated so, sorry for that. This may contain a lot of wrongs because I haven't really proofread it. So the smut is now time and all the others are in the past, flashback ish. Hope it makes sense.
Was it wrong? Probably yeah it was. But it didn't feel wrong when his lips met yours or when he touched you, no it felt fucking right.
You knew she would freak out if she saw you right now, probably scream and make a scene of what a shitty friend you were but that only made it feel even better. Knowing you pissed her off and got her back for all she'd done to you filled you with satisfaction.
It wasn't all about him but he knew that, you knew it wasn't all about you either. This was a source of revenge with a hint of built up tension.
You moaned as his lips traveled down your collarbone and chest, messy and needy. It was all a hot mess but you loved it, your arms hanging around his shoulders, fingers tickling his neck and combing through his hair as his lips wandered over you.
You and your friends had rented an airbnb in Greece for the summer, planning a well needed rest in a relaxing environment for a couple of weeks. The five people in your friend group, two external friends and five of their partners created a quite large group but that was common on your annual summer vacations. As long as everyone was nice and had a good vibe you didn't care.
There was only one creating tension, your childhood friend but there was nothing new with that. Everybody in the group knew her and her behaviors. It was just how she was, how she behaved and what she thought was cute. A real pick-me was what she was and a huge asshole at that. She never considered other peoples feelings or thoughts and not once letting somebody elses needs go before hers. In her world she was the queen and if anybody went up against her chaos broke out.
This had been the story since you were both five but it wasn't until adult-life you had understood how toxic it was and how much she was manipulating and changing you. But even with the knowledge she was still in your life.
This summer she had asked her boyfriend to tag along. He was the hot topic in your group as she always seemed to pick guys similar to herself, assholes.
But this time it was different. She had been bragging about him for as long as you could think of but for the first time she wasn't all talk. He was a footballer, something she never shut up about because apparently that was really important for everyone to know. She chatted holes in your head about how hot he was and how good he was in bed, you knew way too much without even having met the guy.
Your expectations were down the ground when you met him for the first time, expecting him to be rude or whatever but he completely floored you. He wasn't anything like her, he was sweet and funny, caring and soft. He was also unbelievably good looking, your eyes sticking to him way too often. The only question you had was how in the world she had gotten a guy like that. Someone who wasn't only way out of her league look-wise but also someone who was way too good for her. He was cheeky and flirtatious for sure but it wasn't her usual guy and it sparked something.
He made you feel like you skin was on fire. Fingertips leaving a trail of heat as they wandered down your body. You were on his bed now, his kisses making your head tilt back as he nipped at the sensitive skin. You couldn't recall the last time you'd felt this hot, like you were burning up but in a very pleasant way.
When his fingers reached the hem of your underwear you could no longer control the soft whines that left your mouth. The timid looking guy who had been so shamefully sweet and gentle was completely gone as he chuckled at you laying there, needy and whiny. He held a smirk on his face that told you everything you needed to know.
His face hovered over yours as he teased your clit carefully, almost mocking your needy state as his fingers just barely touched you before drawing away. It was such a risky thing to do, in a house filled with all of your friends and maybe also her. Yet here you were, letting him touch you in such an intimate way with no remorse.
The first couple of days were fine, Mason came into the group perfectly and she was suddenly more pleasant to be around whenever he was there. You didn't know if she honestly liked him or if he was just too attractive to give up but something made her stick around so far, something she usually never did. But again, he was something different.
It was one week in when you could see the usual pattern begin with her. The avoiding, icing and searching for validation started but Mason didn't seem to care. He held a nice smile on his face and searched for more company with you and the others instead which nobody had a problem with, well except from her of course. She was the one who should take distance and not the other way around. So the more he was with you and the others the more annoying she got, starting shit against him and you all for every small thing possible.
-
"What?" she snarled in a monotone voice
You shrugged, not really doing anything to deserve the tone she was giving you from where she sat in the arm-chair with a grouchy look.
"You have something to tell me?" she scoffed at your nonchalant shrug, wanting more than that from you.
"No? What would that be?" you tiredly asked. She had been a real bitch the last couple of days, constantly nagging every single one of you, remarking and claiming something. You were still annoyed over how she acted last night towards Mason having had a go at him for sitting on the sofa with you and one of your other friends. The shaming was completely uncalled for and the poor guy had looked extremely uncomfortable as she cussed him out.
"Uh, oh I don't know" she sarcastically exclaimed, holding her hand in front of her mouth dramatically. "Maybe that you fancy Mason!"
You could't help the laughter that escaped your mouth at her words "I'm what?"
"You totally like him y/n, I don't get how you could do this to me" Shaking your head was the only thing you could do "I don't fancy anyone!"
"Then explain last night" she huffed stubbornly, folding her arms over her chest stubbornly. "What to explain? You were a complete bitch and I just defended the poor guy when you treated him like complete shit and it was completely uncalled for!"
"Oh stop it, I did not treat him like shit and I had every right to call him out"
A scoff left your mouth "It was not right, he didn't even do shit just sat down in a sofa"
She clicked her tongue in annoyance but letting it go at that unfolding her arms again as she looked at you "Sorry I just actually like this guy and the way you were behaving was just not okay" Steam was basically blowing from your ear as you swallowed thickly, telling yourself to let it go but fuck if you didn't wanna scream at her face.
Instead for shouting and slapping her you changed the subject "you actually like him?"
A shrug painted her expression "like and like, I mean he is extremely attractive and the sex is so so good"
Eyes rolling you left the room, having to unless she wanted a fist in her jaw. Of course she was only attracted to him.
His long sleek fingers picked up their pace, two sliding in and out of you whilst his thumb stroke your clit in small precise circles. You were close, so so terribly close, just lingering on the edge and you envied her for getting this for the last month. Suddenly it made sense as to why she had stuck around him. He was just that good, but of course he was much more than sex.
A cry tickled your tongue, the aware part of your being begging him to stop you from screaming out loud from the brewing orgasm that was just just there.
"Fuck Mason"
He still held that stupid smug smirk all over his face and he looked so proud and cocky. "Hmm, does that feel good?" he hummed, tilting his head mockingly as you nodded frantically, silently asking him not to stop.
"This turns you on, dosen't it. Knowing that we could so easily be heard and caught huh? You love it" No coherent words left your mouth as he pushed you over the edge. It was euphoric, eyes squeezed closed, teeth biting down on his shoulder to keep quite.
He grinned at you as he helped you ride out your orgasm, his hand rubbing your hip gently as you collapsed in his sheets.
"You are so much better than I thought" you sighed out with a content smile on you face as he kissed your shoulder.
"What are you doing?" you asked from your seat on the couch, tilting your head up to look at her as she gathered her stuff from the hall-bench. "Uh, I'm going out" she shrugged, dressing in her jacket and fixing up her hair.
"Uhh, okay? What about our plans then?" you questioned feeling astonished by her unbothered state. She pulled a face "You'll be fine without me" she waved you off "What about Mason, you gonna leave him here?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
A scoff left your mouth before you could stop it "Well maybe it is a bit rude, don't you think? You invite him on a holiday with your friends he has never met before and then you leave him?" Her infamous eye-roll played in front of your eyes, her hand grasping her phone "He will survive, don't need to be so dramatic"
You shook your head as she walked out the door, slamming it behind her like a teenage kid. "Fucking stupid" you cursed out after her
"It's for the better"
You tilted your head back over the back of the couch, smiling as you saw Mason in the opening to the kitchen
"Hm?"
"I appreciate you standing up to her but it's for the better she goes huh?" Your eyebrows raised at him in amusement "Things not going too great?"
The sigh he let out told you enough, chuckling you patted the couch, signaling for him to come closer.
He did so without hesitation, a smile displaying on his face as he plumped down dramatically. "So, tell me. How did you find someone like her"
He shrugged "Party, she got onto me, I was horny, we fucked and then it was repeated. One night she asked me to go with you guys and I didn't have anything else planned so I thought why not"
"Well, I guess. Although I would say you're stupid for going with her without knowing her"
"Probably your right, I mean this trip is fantastic and there are all nice people but phew she is...a lot"
You smiled, leaning back into the couch and tucking your legs underneath you "tell me about it"
He had you on your back, his dick filing you and making you feel fuzzy. His eyes glazed over as he leaned over you, prompting you to wrap your arms around his shoulders as he never let up his pace.
His hot breath fanned your face, small sounds leaving his lips as he started to get close.
"Fuck" you whined as his thumb traveled down your body and started to rub your sensitive clit. It was too much and too little at the same time, your orgasm crawling closer and closer before it snapped.
You were happy, content as you sat in the restaurant chair looking out on the cozy street. It was your fifteenth day here and things felt good, the group was great and it was a lot of fun and relaxing, just what you needed for the summer.
Mason really had came into the group great, everybody liking him and asking him to tag along since she didn't exactly try with him anymore.
It was light chatter, laughs and drinks in the afternoon lightning, it all made you feel like a teenager again. Summer with friends when there were no big problems, it was all light and easy.
The food was nice and the weather pleasant. You were sat next to Mason and one of your other friends. She was sitting opposite Mason, chatting with your friend who sat next to her.
"How was your food?"
You smiled at him, pushing the plate towards him, prompting him to taste as you hadn't missed the eager look he had given your plate all evening.
He chuckled, dropping his head as he realized he had been caught "Come on, it's fine, taste" you giggled, smiling as he took a piece of the pasta you had ordered. "Fuck that is as good as it looks" he hummed in appreciation taking another spoonful of your food
"Your's isn't good?" you chuckled, raising your eyebrows "No no it is" he confirmed, smiling sheepishly.
Mason was easy to be with, easy to talk to and always funny to be around. He had spent a lot of time with you, talking about his family, his football and niece. Never a boring moment.
-
"Are you done flirting so we can go?" Her dry tone made everyone look up from what they were doing, sensing a storm coming to ruin the otherwise great evening.
You sighed, clicking your tongue in annoyance as she glared at you, her arms folded over her chest. "What" you huffed out, trying to not trigger her further.
"What do you mean what, you have been flirting with him all night. He came here with me, not you so I don't understand what you are doing"
A dry chuckle escaped your lips, your body lightning up with annoyance and underlying anger. "Okay, well what if I was flirting with him, what difference would it make?" "You know he came here as my guest, he is with me"
"Yeah I know that but I didn't feel like it was a big deal since you've pretended that he didn't exist this past week"
"Oh shut up I have not you're just so fucking jealous, aren't you? Can't even let me have him" You shook your head "Let you have him, do you even hear yourself? You treated him like fucking shit and I can't even talk to him?"
"Stop acting like you're better than me all the fucking time, you're not!"
You pursed your lips, referring from screaming and making a scene in the restaurant. After this trip you would cut her off for good. At least that's what you wanted but it was also what you'd wanted to do for the past five years but somehow, somehow she always managed to claw you back to her possession.
Mason looked pretty uncomfortable as he sat looking down at the table, not knowing what to say or do in the whole ordeal.
"All I'm doing is talking to him and making him feel okay in the group, that's all and that's more than what I can say about you"
"Stop the bullshit y/n, you have heart-eyes for him, practically begging him to sleep with you"
You scoffed shaking your head feeling incredolous, not knowing what to do.
"You know what, fuck you" you spat, pushing yourself up from the chair and walking off.
You walked back to the villa, still fuming with anger and rage quickly discarding your shoes and taking a moment to just scream, let all frustrations out. You changed to your pj's before walking out to the terrace to cool down.
It wasn't even fifteen minutes until you heard someone enter the villa, knowing who it was before he even found you outside.
"Hey, you ok?" Mason smiled sweetly, popping his head out through the door
You smiled softly at him "Yeah yeah, all fine"
He nodded, walking to you on the deck and sat down opposite to you "She is always like that with you huh?"
"Well always and always, not when she wants something from me" you spoke in an annoyed tone, pulling a face as he chuckled at you
"Why are you friends with her then?"
You laughed, dropping your head back "I am not really but it's just... complicated"
Mason nodded, he could understand it with being childhood friends and all so he didn't bug more about it.
"Well if it makes you feel better I don't mind you flirting with me"
You laughed out loud, leaning back on your hands on the tree deck. "I don't think I'm flirting that hard"
"Nah not that hard but i'm just saying I wouldn't mind it"
"You want me to flirt with you some more? Tell you how pretty you are and how much I want you?" you joked, grinning at him as he pursed his lips, nodding "wouldn't mind it"
You laughed again, tilting your head at him as silence settled in the warmth of Greece.
There was tension in the air, hovering over you both as you sat there, simply looking at each other before Mason took the first step. "If i'm completely out of line here and misjudged the situation you're allowed to slap me" he smiled as he came forward, slowly meeting his lips with yours as you giggled at him, welcoming his lips greedily.
"I mean I know this was about revenge, but fuck me" he sighed stretching his body out on his bed, tilting his head back to look at you who sat against the headboard, you knee tucked up into your chest and a content smile on your face.
"It wasn't all about revenge" you smiled, feeling a warm feeling in your chest as he rested his head against your legs. "No?"
"No" you concluded, you weren't able to restrain yourself from running your fingers through his hair. His smile was dazzling, showing his perfect teeth and glimmering eyes. Convincing you that it truly wasn't all about revenge.
#mason mount#mason mount x reader#mason mount imagine#mason mount imagines#mason mount fanfic#mason mount fanfiction#footballer imagine#england nt#football imagine#mason mount angst#mason mount fluff#mason mount smut#mm19#chelsea
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THAWING ICE QUEEN (part 105)
–one night of fooling around with the annoying campus king gojo satoru (he thinks so), turns into...well, something else more long term
CHARACTERS: gojo satoru x you | geto suguru | jjk characters
GENRE: college au | smut | smau | smau + prose | everything in between | ons | fubus to lovers | aged-up characters | idk where this is going
⚠️ TW/CW: strong/mature language | 🔞 | mentions of alcohol, smoking, etc. | this has narrations | god-awful pet names | will add more if something arises
MASTERLIST | CHAPTER INDEX
A/N: Shameless plug, but yeah, "Bad News" soft release. Check it out!
<<prev part 105 next>>
A/N: Hello, everyone! I am sooooo sorry for going missing beyond what I said. I was on vacation, a badly needed one. But hey, thank you all for staying and reading my other works. I hope you are all having a great day. I hope to update quicker these coming days.
TAGS LIST: @arxliana @neeneee @charlie-xo @aelynaneedsalottathing @arizzu @cloudxp @justpuddinglol @mikkies @nyfwyeonjun @whats-humanity-lol @letthewindlead @whore-of-many-hot-men @localgaytrainwreck @pikibee @bloombb @mr-underhills-things @lysaray @chocoyanchan @poemzcheng @bookswillfindyouaway @dreamxiing @koutaroo @taelattecookie @kazuhasmaid @weebbuscuit @moonmalice @taengkatsu @reagan707 @lysaray @to0ru @shirabane @yell0wdreams @r0ckst4rjk @megtheebimbo @tmvll9
© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI’S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20240321]
PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART/ANY MEDIA CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.
#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo#gojo satoru#gojo smut#gojo fluff#gojo smau#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen smau#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk smau#jjk smut#jjk fluff#sukuna#geto suguru#social media au
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