#update for april fools. 24 posts drafted now

[adriles]

next time there is a stalemate for funeral proceedings itll be 3 days or something. i cant handle 12 whole days on top of realizing the gods dont care about us & coming to terms with dooming myself to die here

[modern-oedipus]

Check-List for the Goals I settled for 2019

The funny mistake I’ve made earlier lead me think about what I’ve expected from 2019 when we started it. I found a list of the goals I made while we were entering the new year’s and here is a realistic evaluation of how it went.

• First of all, I wanted to manage my depressive episodes better. I wanted to have them less frequently. I wanted not to be absolutely crashed if a trigger hit me. Here’s how it went with a rough statistics (yes, because I’m a soon-to-be scientist, I actually made a graph of my own mood swings as if I am a test subject).

✔️ January was absolutely terrible for me. I had so much anxiety because of a toxic relationship and I wasn’t sure if I could ever live without that person. I failed two classes and withdraw a third one. I was super anxious about my internships. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be on the path I was and I was also having financial troubles. Also, one of my pet birds had passed away.

✔️ February was the month I truly felt like something in me was changing for the better. I felt like something clicked after the winter break— when I was, in a funny way, forbidden from consuming sugar for three days. I used to eat a lot of sugar/sweets to cope with my stress back then, to the point I still amaze at myself for not being overweight, plus size, or developing diabetes; because I really was eating too much sweets. But then I had a conversation with my father that feels unworldy, and combinated with the tree days no sugar diet and beginning of the new semester I suddenly felt like, even if I couldn’t fix everything, I could fix something. I had to start, regardless of how little. So I started by eating carefully— so significiantly less sugar consumed than I used to be, but I didn’t force it all at once. So if I were eating 3 brownies a day I decreased it step by step to 2 brownies a day, one brownie a day, and... At November 2019, it is probably a brownie once in 15 days. With even more pleasure than eating 3 brownies at once. (Don’t worry, I still let myself be free of eating whatever I want occassionally. I’m taking care of my health). Anyway. I started to hit up gym in my college for first time ever. I was so painfully inconsistent, but I knew that much was to be expected, so instead of getting angry at myself for not being a regular I just appreciated myself for going despite not being a regular.

✔️ March was a turnpoint. I decided to be bold enough to pursue my ex hobbies that I lost because of depression, one of them being writing. I’ve had a strong muse for Norman back then. I made a new account on Facebook. I knew no one, but to my luck I made so many friends. I drowned in NorRay ship with a very nice roleplay partner. I built new friendships away from the toxic partner of mine who was seriously causing a lot of damage on me. By the end of March we broke up and— surprise, my world didn’t end. I felt so refreshed, so alive, as if I was freed of my chains, and up until this day this feeling stands. I was more eager to pursue new hobbies, talk about my interests and do crazy shit instead of worrying my ex would think. I was happier. Much happier. This too, is still valid.

✔️ April was... unworldly. Because something that relates to my society happened as a big improvement and I was extremely positively surprised. This feeling is valid up to this day as well.

✔️ May... May was wild. I got kissed by a random stranger at the spring fest party. This fucking event lead me to write Conflict. Seriously. I built stronger friendships, online and offline, during this month. I felt truly connected.

✔️ June!!! June was so weird! It was my first break after one or maybe two years of depression. It was my first free holiday in which I didn’t reall feel like I was a waste of time, space, effort, money, etc. I got to walk around streets with a burden off my shoulders after so long. I got to look forward to the next days. The insecurities hit me up sometimes, but significantly less frequently, as I aimed in the beginning of the year. At this point I have had lost a good 5 kgs and had been eating very healthily too, and I was enjoying this new healthier lifestyle I adapted. This is still valid too.

Let’s examine June a little more carefully. At the end of the June I was going to go out of town to have an internship at a very prestigious university out of town. Which meant I had to stay in student dorms. I had no background about my field of internship yet. I was going to be utterly alone and I was freaking out about it. I’ve spent last week of June extremely tense because I don’t live in dorms normally and sharing a space with people and being alone at a professional place and things like doing laundry felt terrifying. But at the same time I was proud of myself because I’ve had always wondered how life would be living in a college campus, and this school I went was the best in my country equal to the university I am attending. Overall, it was prestigious and I was very excited.

Another important thing about June was that I’ve had written almost ALL of Conflict in my head with two of my roleplay partners eagerly listening to me and encouraging me whenever I plotted.

Have you noticed this?

My story was completed BEFORE I even posted.

At the end of June, a few days before I was about to leave for the internship, I had a breakdown. I had a bad breakdown. I had first draft of Conflict completed but I could never get to edit it. I could never get to post it. I didn’t even have an account. I didn’t really expect much interest in the story either, I just... I don’t know. I think I just thought, “Wow, this plot is so feelsy. I shouldn’t keep it buried in me. Maybe other people will love it too.” and I... kept Conflict waiting... for so long. Then I had a breakdown thinking I can’t do a fucking thing right and I’ll never get to post anything because I always let my “depression” take over it— which is a funny excuse because I wasn’t even depressed at June. Scared yes, but not depressed. I hate playing the victim. Objectively speaking, I wasn’t at my best but it wasn’t my worst either. Anyway. I left first chapter of Conflict linger there for a few weeks, hopeless that I could ever post.

✔️ Then comes July. I came to the internship city! It was AWESOME. I LOVED the campus, LOVED the experience, LOVED my field, and ENJOYED dorm life. I made many friends. I had roommates. I worked out more often. I went to sightseeing. I extended my network. I did A LOT of fun stuff.

On the first night I was at dorms, my two roommates were out. I didn’t know anyone yet. I had ONE night free to do anything. I was... in an awe. So I opened the documents. I looked at the pretty sight from my dorm room and I said, “Well, let’s do this.”

It was like a torture to finish that first chapter.

I had no expectations when I posted.

But oh my god, it felt like something clicked when I posted! Getting my story POSTED was a significant proof that I was SERIOUSLY moving on from the LAST traces of depression. It was something I created. It was MY productivity. It was ME. But in a way it was everyone. I felt extremely happy. Oh— did I mention Conflict is my first fanfiction?

Anyway, then I began to look forward to updating. Living in campus had it’s amazing advantages, such as no time wasted on transport, and ability to chill at coffee shops or 24/7 open library ALL NIGHT if I wanted. Which was wayyy less depressing than the environment of my house. I wrote. I felt super engaged. The simple fact that I could exist and produce something and have other people respond to it was something I could never imagine myself doing back on my depressed days. (But I could totally imagine this BEFORE I got in depression. In a way, I was back. I am still back. And I’m so grateful.)

I wasn’t only fooling around to write, though. I’ve been learning a lot. Experiencing a lot. Living a lot. It was amazing. I even binge watched Harry Potter with my roommate— and I hadn’t rewatched it before. (I had fucking forgotten that Sirius died, lmao.)

I also briefly fell in love again. It was a nice brief summer thing. Still think she’s amazing.

I need to go now, actually, so I’m abrubtly cutting this post off halfway to edit later. I don’t know what I earn by sharing this. I’m definitely not looking for attention— maybe you’ve realized it before but I give very little fucks about what people around me say (except for constructive critism). But somehow, I felt as if someone needed to see this. I don’t know that person. I don’t know who they are and when they are reading this. I just want people to know that there is an example of a girl who seriously changed a lot within span of a year by constant hard work, gentle-self-talks, and constant push-throughs even when she’s not motivated. Right now I’m far from being depressed nor suicidal, I’ve lost enough weight to dress up all bold clothes I LOVE to wear, I’ve built self-confidence, etc, as I will edit later. I just... want you all to know... even if this is not valid for everyone if you want something to happen you have to MAKE it happen. And it actually HAPPENS when you MAKE it happen. So, you don’t have to stay stuck in a bad cycle. You don’t even need a new year’s eve to do this. I started at february, see?

So do your best! I’m cheering for you!

Edit: I’m back. So point of this post was to check whether I’ve reached my goal of having less frequent depressive episodes. (Because I know I’m human and depressive episodes can hit ANYONE, so I didn’t have an unrealistic “I’ll never experience this again” expectation but I did have the expectation of “I’ll experience this maybe once or twice in a year, move on fast w/o unhealthy coping mechanisms and I’ll stay connected to LIFE instead of dissosciation” and I’ve achieved this.

A fast summary would be,

July built my self confidence at all aspects, from my hobbies to my career, my social skills to my curiosities. It was amazing.

August-September was vacation. One month of having a blissful vacation without feeling like a burden. One month of having full bliss. No depressive episodes not even once. I was regularly working out and I didn’t gain any weight even though I eat sweets and nice food everyday because of “holiday”. I went to a dietician in the end to find out my blood sugar is very healthy and my weight is normal now.

At the end of September & beginning of October I was nervous because of school, but I handled a lot better. I have done my best. I have truly done my best. I attended almost all lectures, I engaged in the material, asked all questions on my mind, went office hours, stayed active in newspaper, continued to hit up gym regularly, built more friendships, ALSO STAGED A THEATRE TEXT I HAVE WRITTEN LIKE THAT WAS AMAZING, and— and—

I don’t know, fast through November it doesn’t feel enough. I don’t know what I’ve honestly expected. But I expected to feel smarter or something, because science is hard shit. I expected better grades than this because I have honestly given it my all best. But the fact that my friends called me to reassure me made me really happy because one of my other goals was to build friendships and to think people, online and offline, check up on me makes me tear up. Especially when they are genuniely by my side as friends. It just feels so nice. So I’m feeling bittersweet.

I couldn’t lose any more weight since June, but I kept gaining/losing in some balance and I’m stable by now. My aim for February is to... lose 10 kgs in total— in a year. Which means I’ve got 4 kgs left to get rid of extra weight. I’m not really obsessed with body image, I’ve never been, but... What will I even do if I do not eat healthy and exercise? I mean, what’ll I even do? I like exercising and healthy eating. So I should just prevent stressful eating further so I can get rid of all the extra stuff. I’m already wearing all the pretty clothes I want and I do get stares because ;; idk they look cute I’m cute. Not in a narcissitic way. But self-love is important. I’m bi anyway, I do think girls are cute so since I’m a girl why shouldn’t I be cute as well?? A very feminine girl in fact, so like, hell yes, at least Nila can now wear whatever she wants and feels like she looks good on them so ONE OF THE MAJOR GOALS OF 2019 is fucking SETTLED!!

I’m planning to meet up my dietician again soon, and say that, “Look, I’ve come this far. Let’s lose 4 kgs in next 4 months. It makes 1 kg a month. Amazingly managable right? So guide me so I don’t ruin my health while thinning.”

So, I’ve managed my three major goals: Get rid of depression (learn how to burn it if it hits you); get a body you not only appreciate but feel genuniely HAPPY to be in; and built friendships and strengthen your bonds with people.

My two other major goals are incompleted, though. To cut it short, I wanted to get a better academic standing— from my first midterm grades I couldn’t really achieve that no matter how hard I tried, which is truly upsetting, but I have no choice but to go on. I love my major. I love science. I genuniely want to stay in this field. I don’t think I’m too idiotic to be a scientist. Sometimes I do think that, okay, but that’s a common thought in STEM majors. I do want to believe that what I work on will make a difference. It will have a meaning. So even though these results... are very discouraging to the point I felt really bad today, as if I could somehow, I don’t know, have a panic attack or something (I did not, I don’t have chronic anxiety or panic attacks or whatever, never experienced this). I just felt close to it, with increased heartbeat and feeling a bit dizzy and also very... imbalanced. But that’s probably because I didn’t eat well today, I unintentionally ate very little hence probably it exhausted me combined with bad news and saturday’s breakdown. Anyway. I have no choice but to go on, believing it will be better. My last major goal was to have a romantic partner, haha. Because I just want to. I mean, I don’t think I need to justify why I’d want a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I don’t think I worked hard for this goal lol. I mean, I didn’t go out of my way to reach people. I liked like... three people this year, I still like one of them, but... It didn’t... go far. That’s probably because I still haven’t completely shaken off my shyness and unwillingness to get out of my comfort zone.

In conclusion, I have achieved 3/5 of my goals, which is more than half of it! So good job! For the girlfriend/boyfriend part, I, haha, I may neglect it for this year I mean it’s dumb to date someone just because??? You want to date before year ends right??? I mean, I’m not exactly angry at myself for that because it’s not only in my control so I think I forgive myself for not achieving that goal.

Academics though.

Ugh, academics are extremely terrifying to me.

That’s one big thing I need to settle.

On the bright side I have— two months! Silly me thought I have just one! So... let me... work hard in these two months!!!! And I’ll update if I can get a better GPA this semester. And if I get a lover. It’s ok not to have lovers but at least let me keep the GPA high I BEG you.

I’ve got new goals settled for 2020. But I will focus on achieving my last two goals before the year ends (academics mostly) and... update!

I don’t know who needs to read this. But I don’t mind having my journey posted at this point. I still feel very uncomfortable talking about depression, actually. But it was my reality. Now that I truly moved on, I can talk about it and critisize myself for all good and all bad.

I hope, to anyone who bothered to read so long, it gave some hope. That things can get better. That you CAN make things better little by little. 2020 can be your year. Or you can start on this very day like I randomly started on February (I didn’t have a thing for February, I just so happened to decide).

I’ll always be cheering those who do their best to make a difference.

Stay safe and let’s work hard. ❤️

Disclaimer: Some of my kind hearted readers were worried about me because Conflict describes unhealthy mindsets. Don’t worry— more than half of them are not based on my real life experiences! I’m not self-harming (never did, don’t think I ever will), neglecting antidepressants (I never used any actually), have suicidal tendencies (well, that part was real but no longer valid) AND I DON’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE NORMAN/PETER sO Y’ALL CAN CHILL thank you for worrying about me I love you all

And I’ll be more than happy to be your goals-buddy if you want to change something about yourself as well!!!

[littlethingwithfeathers]

Writing Update 3/24/19

Publishing Tomorrow!

An Echo in My Soul - Natasha/Bucky. This is the next installment in my “Friendship is Unnecessary” series. After all the focus on Steve/Natasha and the eventual Steve/Natasha/Bucky, I felt it was important to have at least one chapter that focused on just Natasha and Bucky. Especially after “Threshold of Night.” It clocks in at 7.5k and takes place between Civil War and Infinity War. Here’s an excerpt:

***

They made themselves comfortable on the pier, dangling their feet down over the edge with the tin of pastila between them. For awhile they ate in silence, soaking their senses in the smell and taste of crisply tart apple and rich honey as they watched the setting sun fade the last dregs of afternoon into true evening. The shadows stretched and turned soft and gauzy, and the insects and birds began to chatter their evening song. A tempest of children rambled by as they lingered, calling out to Bucky as they hustled along which made him laugh and wave.

"What are they saying?" Natasha asked around a mouthful of confectionery goodness. "My Xhoxian is not so great yet."

"They call me "White Wolf" apparently." Bucky laughed a little. "Don't know why. I have a feeling it's Shuri's doing."

She snorted, blowing a little puff of sugar into the air. "Don't they know your ego is over-inflated enough already?"

"Hey, I'm a decorated war hero who gave his life for his country." Bucky said with mock indigence as he dug another pastila out of the nest of sugar encrusted paper doilies. "And for your country too, technically speaking."

"Bullshit, Barnes. You?" She dabbed a finger-full of powdered sugar on his nose and smiled as he tried to jerk away. "You are a love-sick fool who followed your equally foolish boyfriend into HYDRA bases when you could have been sent home after Zola's experiments. You might have every sap who comes through the Smithsonian fooled, but you're not fooling me, котенок."

His nose wrinkled in feigned disgust at the nickname. "Kitten? Really?"

***

Coming soon!

Before the Storms Begin Breaking - Loki/Darcy fic: I’ve had several requests for more from “The Rain’ll Be Gone in the Morning.” And while I had intended it to be a stand alone, there is room to explore the vulnerability in Loki and the dutiful attachment in Darcy that I introduced in the fic… and the giftee of that fic in particular has been asking for more. The rough draft is finished, and looks to clock in at well over 9k once all the edits are done. I plan to publish it sometime in early April, before Avengers: Endgame comes out, because it is very much not canon compliant with that movie.

Hang By Every Word: The outline for my Stucky fic is still coming along but it will be awhile yet before I start writing on it in earnest. Now that “Fourth Estate” is finished and publishing, I’m ready to start picking at a new bigger fic. The basic theme (and I’m sure this has been done, but fuck it) is the undoing of Bucky’s conditioning one trigger word at a time. And each trigger word locked down a memory of Steve. So I have to write things from Steve’s point of view, and all ten memories have to be written from Bucky’s point of view, and they have to tie together into a cohesive narrative but the memories are out of order, but Steve’s time line isn’t and… It’s… a challenge. I’m still largely in the brainstorming phase… writing little snippets here and there. Nothing’s solidly taking form just yet.

A Maelstrom Whirls Below: I’m toying with the possibility of a sequel to my Darcy/Eddie/Venom fic “A Room for Rent in the Fourth Estate.” Right now it’s just some ideas and a few zippy one-liners. But I’m definitely sketching around on it and working on getting an outline going.

Other “Friendship is Unnecessary” fics at various stages:

The Night the Wall Came Down:  This is a Steve/Natasha fic set some time after Infinity War. I’ve been working on this one for several months, but it’s hit a few snags. The rough draft is nearly finished, clocking in at 7.5k, but my beta reader @kaminaduck pointed out that the opening is no longer canon compliant because of the Endgame trailers. So I’ve got to go back and do major surgery on the beginning. It’s looking likely that this one will not go live until after I see Endgame and know for sure it can match up. Especially now that I’m toying with the serious idea of doing a final fic for this series that’s post-Endgame. This will definitely will be a sad one… I’m actually using this as a mourning piece for myself for Infinity War, for what might be coming in Avengers: Endgame, and for the end of season 5 of Agents of SHIELD.

Stand Still Awhile (formerly called “Rusalka”): Steve/Natasha set sometime before Age of Ultron. Natasha takes Steve as her +1 to a Stark gala at an art museum. I’ve begun work on this one in earnest, and it’s about 2/3 finished with about 4k words to its name. This will likely be next after “The Night the Wall Came Down.” It’s turning out very playful and fluffy... I have a feeling we’ll all need a little warmth and levity after Endgame.

A Little Better to Travel: A plot bunny was gifted to me where Steve and Nat go on a little motorcycle ride sometime between Ultron and Civil War. Still just batting this one around like a cat with a bit of string. Probably will be the first fic in this series to not be explicit. I just have some character stuff I’d like to work out.

Sweet and Honorable: Bucky insists on coming with Steve and Natasha to rescue Sam Wilson. Set post Civil War. This is starting to take shape in my head as a sort of work through for some of the issues that get raised in “Echo in my Soul.” We’ll see how it goes…

Untitled Final Fic: I have begun toying around with ideas for different post-Endgame scenarios. Depending on how things go, I might wrap up the series there. It will just really depend on the fallout of that movie. I’m… not looking forward to it.

[d3v0t3dv1rtualch33s3cak3]

Your fanfiction, lovely prompter;

“I just don’t know how to tell him!”

“Have you thought about doing it on April fools?”

“That's TWO months away!”

Buck lays his head on the table groaning.

“I am never going to get the chance to do this, am I?

Maddie walks over and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sure you’ll do it, Buck.”

Buck lifts his head to look at his watch.

“Gotta go. Promised Eddie I would meet up with him earlier so he can brag about the movie he saw with Chris.”

Maddie rolls her eyes at this remark as Buck rushes through the door, forgetting his coat, which has everything important.

“I’m so happy Chris got to see a movie like that.”

Buck smiled. They were just about to start their shift. Only now noticing the missing items

“Shit.”

Eddie looks at him. 

“Something wrong?”

“Forgot my stuff in my coat, which is at Maddies’ place.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll drop off your stuff soon.”

And with that, Eddie left.

___________________________

24 hours later and he still only had his car keys.

He got in his car, hoping Maddie would be there.

“Why can’t my life go slightly smoother?”

When he arrived, Eddies’ car was out front. Which didn’t happen often

When Buck walked up to the door, Eddie opened it with Buck’s coat in his hands.

“Chim wanted me to come get it. Said you are more likely to be at my place. Whatever he meant by that.”

Buck grabbed his coat and checked his phone. Nothing important. Not even a phone call.

“Thanks.”

__________________________________

Buck couldn’t get to sleep. So he did the only thing he could do.

Go on to TikTok.

He had seen this trend before and wanted to try it. But, he needed to wait till tomorrow to do it.

As he lay in bed, he tried to think about the time he really fell for Eddie.

Was it when they first met? Was it in the truck talking about Christopher?

Buck assumes it was with the grenade, but it could be sooner than that, he just didn't know it.

_____________________________

When everyone was there in the morning, Buck got out his phone.

Hen had asked Eddie to play Mario Kart with her and Chim and Bobby were upstairs.

Buck had thought this through.

-His followers had wanted to see more Eddie because they thought he was cute.

-Make the video

-Play it off as a joke if it goes wrong.

He started recording and pointed the camera at Eddie, who turned around and waved with a big smile towards the camera (actually at Buck) with the words "My friends type" in bold at the top of the screen.

He put a few actors Eddie had mentioned once or twice before (who looked very similar to Buck).

He then flipped the camera at him and winked with the words "My type" in bold at the top of the screen.

It was just pictures of Eddie.

Just before he could post the bell went.

He saved it in drafts and ran towards the truck.

_______________________________

Buck came home and flopped onto the bed.

Quickly before falling asleep, he posted the TikTok, so that he would fall asleep and only have to deal with it in the morning.

When Buck did wake up he had 52 messages from the 118 group chat, and 36 singular messages, including calls and texts from Maddie.

He goes to TikTok and notices that there are a lot more likes and comments on this video, and the two most recent are from the man himself.

"Buck are you serious"

"Buck call me"

The rest of the comments are flooded with,

"Keep me updated"

"Omg, what happened?"

Along with others like,

"Did he call you?"

"Are you together?"

He closes it and opens the group chat to see the most recent texts being from Hen.

It has the TikTok video with a text below saying "Are we gonna talk about this?"

He just responds with something simple and easy.

"Surprise!😅"

The group chat is slowly starting to respond when he gets a call from Eddie.

He picks up only to hear three words.

"Open the door."

Before Eddie hangs up.

Buck walks down, not wanting to keep Eddie waiting. Once he opens the door, Eddie walks straight by him.

Buck closes the door, nervously, hoping he didn't ruin his friendship with Eddie.

Once he turns around, Eddie is closer.

"Why did you keep it a secret so long?"

Eddie then goes in for the kiss, cupping Bucks' cheeks.

"You're my type too."

I don’t know if many of you have seen the tik tok trend where you show your friends type then you show yours but some people have been putting pictures of their friend. To confess that they like them. Okay now imagine THAT but with buddie. Like can you just imagine Buck gets bored one day and he dare say it, it’s been too quite. So he decides to not only cause some mayhem but also confess his love for his best friend. So he opens tik tok ( yes tik tok because what other way to do it, but also if it goes horribly wrong he can play it off as a joke not to mention his surprisingly large amount of followers continue to ask for videos of Eddie) and begins to make a video casually focusing the camera to Eddie who’s in the middle of playing Mario Kart with Hen when he stops playing for a moment when he notices the camera is being faced at him and smiles fondly at it ( ahem Buck) and and the top it says in bold words “my friends type” and it transitions to a couple of pictures of celebrities Eddie might have mentioned once or twice ( and maybe they all have sandy blond hair and blue eyes, we will never know) now facing the camera towards him in big bold letters at the top of him it says “my type” and he finds him self clicking on pictures of Eddie hesitantly but none the less he thought now or never. And just as he’s about to post it the alarm goes off ( cause of course it does ) . So saving it as a draft he gets up and gets dressed quick. After an hour of helping out to put a fire that started at a apartment complex out he’s exhausted and ready to head home after a 24hour shift, so home he goes and before he goes to sleep he post the tik tok ( because if it asleep while this notifies everyone I posted and telling my best friend I love him then I don’t have to deal with it until I wake up) so to sleep he goes. He wake up to loads of notifications from the 118 group chat + Maddie,Athena and Karen. To singular texts and miss calls from Maddie, Hen, Athena and Eddie. He opens tik tok and notices their is way more likes and comments on this one but the top two are Eddie’s “ Buck are you serious” followed with a “Buck call me” the comments are loaded with “keep me updated” “omg what happen?” Along with people commenting under Eddie’s comments with “did he call you” or “are you guys together” he closes it and opens the group chat with his tik tok attached with a “are we not gonna talk about this...” from Hen and loads of replies saying they hadn’t seen it until now, mainly everyone is in shock ( not really they have bets placed, but still like yooo what the fuck ) and so he sends a single text that goes like “surprise 😅” suddenly getting more messages and about to send another he gets a call from Eddie answering and all he hears is “open your door” and then complete silence from the line due to Eddie hanging up. All Buck can do is go down his stairs and open the door and when he does Eddie is standing their before launching himself and Buck kissing him abruptly saying “your my type too”

If you couldn’t tell I got lazy to finish this but Umm someone with much more cable ( I mean talented ) writing skills please write this and let me know cause I will definitely read it