#up to quinn to put the girls in weird gay situations.

[houndfaker]

male characters are always Low Priority for me SORRY!!! I WANT TO THINK ABOUT WOMEN !!!

[carphoegras]

I don’t ship most of these myself , but your rant/ramble posts on Les Mis ships are funny so I genuinely wanted your opinion on these 👁

1. Enjoltaire

2. Valvert

3. Enjonine

4. Marisette (or whatever Marius x Cosette was called)

5. Javonine (Javert and…Eponine 😭)

6. Marionine (A name a just guessed for Marius x Eponine because I wasn’t bothered to look it up)

7. and uhhh.. Granjonine (I think that was the name)

well hello darling! i live to entertain lol lets get into it i might have to put this under a cut because i think its obvious i have a rambling issue

Enjoltaire : a classic for good reason. they seemed really base level to me at first because i watched the movie first, but once i read the brick and really saw their dynamic i fell for them HARD. for me the beauty of this pairing is really rooted in the substance of their individual characters as opposed to like a romantic relationship. idk its so difficult for me to verbalize why i love them so much i think i just love the idea of finding common ground despite difficulties. enjolras and grantaire mirror each other in such a beautiful way that i feel the musical/movie couldn't really capture without demoting it to a puppy love grantaire/mean enjolras dynamic idk i have such an issue with some portrayals of them because i feel like they create a victim/abuser situation where there wasn't one but that's like a whole post within itself anyway i feel like im getting incoherent i love exr with every fiber of my fucking being just read the brick if you don't get it ok the movie and musical just dont do it justice and for the love of god avoid the fics written in 2012/2013 after the movie hype its all wRONGGGG (i love you george blagden but you created a twink grantaire movement) (they pull each others pigtails okay its a mutual obsession) (enjolras why don't you just ignore him baby? glutton for punishment my dear we all know if you hated him you wouldn't let him hang around) (anyway) i should make a seperate post about my exr feelings bc i could talk ab them for hours

2. Valvert: okay this is where i feel like i can be unpopular with the fandom. i fucking hate this ship. like physically, spiritually, all that. its one of those that i kinda lose respect for the person bc its literally a cop/prisoner thing. its not enemies to lovers. its not a hate love thing. javert's a fucking cop. valjean is his victim. the whole idea of people romanticizing this makes me feel so insanely icky and i think the point of the story has just gone RIGHT over some folks' heads please take a step back and think about it. neolib behavior sorry not sorry

3. Enjonine: enjolras is gay. just like, straight up in the brick enjolras is a gay man. this ship is spawned from straight girls who saw aaron tveit and use eponine as their not like other girls posterchild. just a whole bunch of hetero nonsense. same behavior as the joseph quinn enj x reader bs. honey thats a homosexual man and can we please stop reducing eponine to needing a boyfriend she needs a stable home and a goddamn therapist fucking hell

4. Marisette: okay. i LOVE THEM. i'm a cosette stan myself, and i'm a huge fan of a gooey love at first sight situation. they contrast my love for exr in the sense that they're a very easy love. their parts in the book literally make me SWOOOOOON i can put aside my beef with marius as a combeferre kin to appreciate how sweet they are

5. Javonine??: im sorry wh aht. did the snape x hermione shippers leak into the lm fandom or am i being fucking punked im not discussing this its obvious why this is wrong please tell me its obvious y'all are NASTY

6. Marionine: eh. eh. i mean, like i said with enjonine eponine's problems are not gonna be solved with a dude. i'm really not opposed to them, persay, its just that eponine's love for marius is so incredibly dependent and rooted more in her personal trauma than actual love, so i feel a little weird with them sometimes. sometimes it just gives anti cosette vibes (cough cough bc of the bullshit love triangle angle that the musical markets cough cough) so i tread very carefully with them

7. Granjonine: again what in the damn hell. i'm not dignifying this shit they could be besties but for the love of god george blagden did a number on the straight girls. STOP PROJECTING ONTO EPONINE IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND LEAVE HER ALONE

thanks for the ask lovely, i do love rambling even though these ships are baffling lmaoooo

[harrowharkboygf]

rating the locked tomb characters by how good their met gala outfits would be

gideon nav

we can surmise from the “rapier with skulls puking other skulls” quote that gideon’s personal style, if she wasn’t beholden to the ninth house dress code, would be Loud and Tacky and A Lot. therefore, i think she’ll go all out with the theme. her outfit might not look objectively good per se — it will probably be a little too excessive and not super classy — but she will absolutely fulfill the theme and she will have fun, and that’s the most important part! 9/10

harrowhark nonagesimus

oh harrow will go all in on this. she will definitely be of the opinion that all guests should have to submit an essay explaining exactly how their outfit fits the theme, and she absolutely will get annoyed at the people who just wore simple black tuxes and dresses. she‘ll start planning her outfit months in advance, and it’s going to be incredibly complicated and very symbolic. her outfit is probably be a lot creepier and more goth than the rest of the guests, but it’ll still go perfectly with the theme anyways. 10/10

ortus nigenad

how much effort ortus puts into his outfit will depend SOLELY on what the theme was. if he thinks it’s a stupid theme he’ll put in zero energy whatsoever, and if he thinks it’s a good theme he will put in the work and come out with an outfit that’s definitely creative, even if it doesn’t look super great and is a little bit of a stretch on the theme. 7/10

judith deuteros

judith definitely does not care. she does not care at all, and if you asked her what the theme was, she couldn’t even tell you. she wears a simple black tux or black dress every year, and yes she looks hot as fuck and very classy and all of the gay girls on twitter go wild over it, but it’s not particularly creative or befitting of the theme. 3/10

marta dyas

marta cares a lot more than judith does, but she still focuses more on the event itself than the outfit; she’s more excited to dance, talk with her friends and acquaintances, and see other people’s outfits. if the met gala didn’t have a theme, she’d still be happy, but since it does, she’ll try to fit the theme as best she can! she refuses to sacrifice her own comfort or ability to dance in favor of an outfit though, which is very fair of her. no matter what, though, she looks good! 6/10

coronabeth tridentarius

oh you KNOW corona is acing this. she starts planning for her outfit a year in advance, but unlike harrow, she’s way less pretentious about it and willing to do something that might make fun of herself a little or make others laugh. she makes sure to call everyone she knows who’s going to make sure that their outfits won’t be too similar. she also makes sure that ianthe and babs’ outfits go good with hers. it’s the bane of her existence that judith won’t go to the lengths that she does. she fits the theme perfectly, she’s creative about it, and she looks hot as fuck. 100/10

ianthe tridentarius

as mentioned above, ianthe’s outfit is always designed to fit with coronabeth’s. it’s always very similar — not quite the same, but very close. same idea, slightly different execution. it’s always fitting with the theme, and looks really good objectively, but there’s a lack of investment and heart that ruins it a bit, especially next to corona’s extravaganza. still, when she’s next to the other guests, she definitely wins. 8/10

naberius tern

babs cares WAY more about looking good than he does about fitting the theme. his outfit is always a lot less creative than and themed than ianthe’s and corona’s. he never sidesteps the theme entirely, but he often refuses to go all the way in favor of not looking too weird. this is kind of a moot point, since he always looks a little weird anyway. 5.5/10

isaac tettares & jeannemary chatur

the awful teens were coordinating outfits each year, and each year they desperately want to fit the theme and do something cool, but they’re a little TOO eager about it. there’s always either a little bit too much going on with their outfits for the message to be fully cohesive, OR they didn’t go all the way because they were too embarrassed to do so. however, they definitely try their best and that’s what matters! 7.5/10

abigail pent & magnus quinn

abigail and magnus treat the met gala like a halloween party. they’re committed to the theme, but not in the militant, obsessive way that harrow and coronabeth are — it’s more that they have fun planning their coordinating outfits because costumes are fun! often their take on the theme is very nerdy and sweet, but maybe not super well done. still, they compliment everyone on their outfits and are so genuine about it that they get points anyway. 7/10

palamedes sextus

pal could honestly care less about the met gala, but he attends anyway and spends the whole night deep in conversation with anyone who will talk science with him. as such, his outfit is. Very Lacking. cam usually designs it for him and it fits the theme pretty well and looks objectively good, but he gets points off for not coming up with it himself. 5/10

camilla hect

pal and cam don’t wear coordinated outfits, but they are still somewhat cohesive, as cam plans them both. camilla’s outfit is definitely much better than palamedes’ is — it fits the theme and is more creative and she just generally looks hotter. however, she’s not putting the same level of energy most of the people listed above. but it’s fun, it looks good, and she passes the test. 7/10

dulcinea septimus

dulcie’s attitude towards the met gala would be very similar to magnus and abigail’s in that she treats it like a fun opportunity rather than a life-or-death situation, but she definitely leans more “tasteful” over magnus and abigail’s typical style of “dorky”. she follows the theme closely and she looks good! 8/10

protesilaus ebdoma

pro always goes with dulcie, and he just dresses in an outfit that she’s planned to be coordinated with hers. he’s a little bemused at the intensity of some of the others, but he goes along with the whole thing because it makes dulcie happy. points off for not coming up with his own idea, points added for looking very dashing regardless. ortus is fuming at how well-put-together his outfit is. 5/10

silas octakiseron

silas shares the same all-or-nothing attitude that ortus has towards the theme, but when he approves of the theme, his execution comes very close to beating out harrow’s outfit in terms of Drama and Sophistication. his outfits are often a little impractical — they’re hard to walk in or require elaborate props to be transported alongside him — but they’re worth it. 9/10

colum asht

colum just wears a suit the same color as whatever silas’ outfit is that year. boring! 2/10

augustine the first

augustine tries his hardest, but he never quite nails the theme. somehow, it always goes straight over his head, so when he explains it to people, they’re always like “*confused head tilt* hmmm, okay now i think i get it! huh!” he looks,,, fine in it, and he tries. he tries! 4/10

mercymorn the first

mercy’s sense of style in general is very good, so she always comes in a dress that’s fashionable and well-designed. the problem is that she actively abhors the idea of a themed party; she actively campaigns to the organizers each year to not do a theme. she thinks that everyone who does the theme is ridiculous. as such, she ends up with a low 3/10

cytherea the first

cytherea has a good Idea for the met gala every year, but for some reason — she bites off more than she can chew or she fails to accurately articulate her vision or she procrastinates until the last minute — that idea never translates into an actual outfit, so she always falls back on a simple, soft clinging dress. fashionable, but unfortunately not very standout-ish. 3.5/10

gideon the first

gideon (original flavor) just wears a boring black suit every year. THE most boring black suit ever. 1/10

pyrrha dve

okay, admittedly we haven’t seen that much of pyrrha in canon, but from what we do know, she is smart and talented and funny and good at everything and has a dramatic streak and is incredibly hot. therefore, i think we can surmise that she’ll absolutely nail her met gala outfit. it’ll fit the theme, it’ll be very original and very well-done, and she’ll be sexy as fuck! good for her! 15/10

john gaius

he wears the exact same black tux every year. the same one. he pays no attention to the theme whatsoever. this is very confusing, since HE is the one who organizes the met gala and picks the theme! weirdo! even worse, john makes a point to give backhanded compliments to people he thinks don’t fit the theme or don’t look good. bitch! -10/10

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Books I’ve Read in 2020

AHello! I’m trying to read as many books as I can during the quarantine, here’s what I’ve finished so far:

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (literary fiction): a son writes a letter about his life to his illiterate mother. Breathtakingly beautiful with it’s way with words this book is lovely and real in the hardest and sweetest ways. The author’s combination of prose and poetry is dazzling and intricate, this book has stuck with me for days afterward. 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (fantasy): a money-lender gets in trouble after bragging she can turn silver into gold and is kidnapped and ordered to do so by a fey creature. It may be that I am the perfect audience for this type of book, but it’s my favorite thing I’ve read all year. It’s a book that equally takes on the fantastical and real-world with compelling female characters at the center of the whole thing. A wonderful fantasy journey inspired by eastern-European Jewish folklore. 5 out of 5 stars.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll (horror graphic novel): a series of short horror comics. Absolutely bone-chilling! This was a really fun type of scary story, especially the last one which made my skin absolutely crawl. Deliciously eerie, this was treat to read if not a little too short. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender (magical realism): a young girl can taste other people’s emotions in their cooking and begins to understand her family in new ways. This was a weird book, but it has everything you’ve got to love about that combination of the surreal and mundane. It’s sense of character was electrifying and I had fun engaging with this type of off-kilter real world. I was a little frustrated in parts bc of some characters choices, but that too was true to life. 4 out of 5 stars.

Crier’s War by Nina Varela (steampunk fantasy wlw): about a Made automaton heir to a throne and her human hand-maiden that is trying to kill her. This was an easy read with a lot of tension between the two main characters that I liked, but the writing itself was very weak. There was waaay too much exposition in parts and the dialogue had some really hockey lines. I enjoyed the twists and turns in the middle of the book, but the beginning and end didn’t have much movement. 2.5 stars out of 5.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn (historical fiction): honestly, I’m a little disappointed. This book just did not hit my sweet spots, it wasn’t fast-paced enough for me to get immersed in the plot, and the characters weren’t real enough to be wholly invested in them. That said I adored Nina Markova and the Night Witches, so that did help. 3 starts out of 5.

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White (horror sci-fi retelling): HAND IN UNLOVABLE HAND. A retelling of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein from the perspective of Victor Frankenstein’s wife and my God! The characters! The plot was well-enough, but the characters took the whole show for being complex and compelling. The main character was breathtakingly layered and I was wholly invested in Elizabeth and her story and the triumph at the end of this story was tangible. 4 out of 5 stars! 

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (fantasy): A story of a young woman who lives in a valley where a girl must go live with a wizard for 10 years. She is certain she won’t be chosen, but ends up having to be “uprooted” herself. I enjoyed most of this book! However, I think I liked “Spinning Silver” a lot more just because the ending of this one somehow lost me. The characters were good and plot compelling, but (SPOILERS) the big battle at the end seemed to drag and didn’t interest me somehow. 3.8 out of 5 stars.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fantasy): excellent read! A story of a young woman in Jazz Age Mexico who goes on an adventure with a Mayan death God who is trying to regain his throne. A romp across the country absolutely brimming with likable characters and fairy tale twists. My only complaint would be that most of it felt a little predictable due to the fact we knew where we were going throughout the whole story, However, it was still greatly enjoyable for the heroine herself, Casiopea. 4 out of 5 stars!

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng (literary): a story of two families in a progressive “planned” community, how their lives intertwine, their secrets, and a central question surrounding motherhood. Deeply empathetic to its characters and introspective, this is an every-day story of people in suburbia that reads like a thriller. I could barely put it down and felt deeply for its characters and situations, 5 out of 5 stars!

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA sci-fi suspense): a story of a group of girls at a boarding school on an island affected by the “tox” which alters their bodies in strange ways like giving them scales or an extra spine. This was an eerie, interesting read with a wlw romance! Watch out for the body horror in this one, but it was very gripping and held my interest. Some of the pacing was off in places (like the romance), but had a very creepy atmosphere that did it for me. 3.8 out of 5 stars!

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (thriller-mystery): A thriller about a group of Shakespeare actors in their last year of college and one of their classmates who turns up dead. I enjoyed the murder mystery part of this novel more than I expected despite the fact I had guessed who had “done it” pretty early on. I really enjoyed the James-Oliver dynamic with its growing homoeroticism, but I didn’t like how the character of Meredith was handled at all. She felt like a one-note aside. I might have given this book four stars, but the ending was EXTREMELY frustrating for me and I did not like the “open-ended” conclusion. 3 out of 5 stars.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): a weird character-driven comedy about an old grumpy man and a new family that moves in next to him. Warning for themes of suicide. Anyway, I don’t normally indulge in cliches like “I laughed, I cried, I loved one Cat Annoyance.” However, that’s exactly what I did. I laughed out loud, I cried my eyes out (THE CAT’S HEAD WAS IN HIS PALM), I loved this book. It was sweet and compelling and thoroughly immersive. 5 out of 5 stars!

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow (historical fantasy): set in the early 1900s comes a story of a young girl and her experience with “Doors” that lead to different worlds. This book had a lot of great character development and really interesting descriptions, however, I didn’t like it as much as I wanted to. I found it hard to get myself to sit down a read it. There was just something missing with the push to “page-turn,” but it was still a really good book. 3.7 out of 5 stars!

Gideon the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (high fantasy, kinda gay): I AM FILLED WITH EMOTIONS. This was book was definitely a page-turner. I was very confused with it at the beginning, but the characters and their interactions were, forgive the expression, the life blood of the story and kept me wholly invested. The ending has CRUSHED my heart, but damn did I have a good time reading it. 4.5 out of 5 stars!

Harrow the 9th by Tamsyn Muir (sequel to Gideon the 9th): I really enjoyed this book. It was just as strange and twisting as the first book, though I think I enjoyed the first one a bit more since I love Gideon. It was fun ride overall, though the ending was kind of really confusing. So 4 out of 5 stars.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (historical fiction): Overall, I really enjoyed this book! The writing style was personable and grounded in reality. I found myself really liking the main characters and the exploration of the life of a bi main character was really well done I thought. A solid book with drama and glamor to boot. 4.6 out of 5 stars!

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah (historical fiction): A story of two sisters during WWII and their resistance to Nazi occupation. To be honest, this book wasn’t my cup of tea. It was compelling, but also wholly depressing and I felt like gloried in the pain of the two main characters too much. The history was wonderful and realistic, but it didn’t make me feel anything good afterward. It was just dark. 3 out of 5 stars.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (mlm romance): I finally finished this after the heaviness of The Nightingale. This is a story of the First Son of the USA falling for the prince of England. And it turned out to be a very fun and light hearted read! Some of it was kinda generic and too political, and it coulda been shorter, but I thought the romance itself made up for it. It just made me feel so sweet and lovely inside. 4 out of 5 stars!

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (literary humor): I’m searching out heartfelt books and this one ticked off all the marks on my “sweet” list. A lovely book that made me cry more times than I would like to admit. Compassionate beyond belief, funny and heartfelt. I think I enjoyed A Man Called Ove slightly more, but this book was also dear to me and something I hope to reread in the future. 4.2 out of 5 stars!

Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel (sci-fi): A post-apocalyptical story about a group of traveling Shakespeare actors and a symphony. Overall, an excellent read that somehow pictures a more realistic or even softer version of the apocalypse. At first, I wasn't happy with the jumping around of the story, but as I progressed I grew fonder and fonder of the interwoven characters and their journey. A very fascinating read about a world that hits a little too close to home. The appreciation of the arts and preserving humanity was somehow very hopeful and I was fully engaged with this story. 5 out of 5 Stars!

Up next: The Hidden Life of Trees by by Peter Wohlleben (nonfiction science), The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin (urban fantasy), The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (fantasy)

[kurts-still-here]

Can I Kiss You? Glee TOT Challenge FanFiction

@celery-elliry @useless-fanfictions @gleethisorthatchallenge

Hi everyone, this is my second fic for the Glee TOT Challenge and the prompt I choose was Kiss On A Dare and I chose it because it seemed perfect for Hevans. Hope everyone enjoys and tells me what they thought of it etheir on here, A03 OR FanFiction.Net. Happy reading 🤗🤗😁😁

Archive Of Our Own

FanFiction.Net

Kurt was currently at another one of horrible, drinking parties, sitting on the couch with Sam, Finn and Puck. This time Rachel had invited some of the Warblers so Blaine, Sebastian, Nick, Jeff, Trent, Wes, David and Thad were also there and they were some pretty crazy drunks (he already knew that from Blaine though). Once again him and Finn had decided to stay sober but this time, Sam had also decided against drinking, explaining that it made him feel weird. So they were all sitting on the couch, Finn and Sam laughing at a drunken Puck who kept trying to kiss him.

“Come on Princess, just one little smooch,” Puck slurred, scooting over towards Kurt just for Kurt to scoot away again.

“No,” Kurt said, irritated. “I don’t want to kiss you,”

“Why not?” Puck pouted, standing up and looking at him. “I’m hot and so are you,”

“Well I’m flattered Puck but really,” Kurt continued saying, blushing. “You’re straight and drunk, how am I supposed to believe that you really want to kiss me?”

“Well it doesn’t have to mean anything,” Puck explained. “Just for fun?”

“I don’t kiss for fun,” Kurt told him. “When I kiss someone I want it to mean something and I don’t want my first kiss to be with you when you’re intoxicated. Try sobering up first and then we’ll see,”

“You’re no fun Princess,” Puck told him. “Try living a little,”

“No thanks,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms in front of him. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you two bring me here,” He said, referring to Sam and Finn who were still laughing at the two of them. “Look what I have to deal with,”

“It’s hilarious,” Finn laughed, “Who would’ve thought that Puck would want to kiss you?”

“Not me,” Kurt mumbled, swatting at Puck when he starting lean in, “Quit it,”

“Never,” Puck teased him before shouting out to everyone at the party, “Let’s play truth or dare,”

Kurt groaned as he heard a collective answer of yes. What were they, five years old? Who even played “truth or dare” still?

“Come one Princess, play with me,” Puck said, taking Kurt’s hand and dragging him to the center of the room where everyone had gathered around in a circle. Kurt rolled his eyes as he sat in between Puck and Sam and waited for all the chatter to die down so he could get the game over with and go home to bed.

“Okay, I want to go first,” Puck said to the group. “And I want to ask Princess over here.” Kurt gave him a glare but Puck continued. “So, truth or dare Kurt?”

“Truth,” Kurt said, getting the satisfaction that he would not be kissing anyone.

“Fine,” Puck mumbled. “Is it true that you want to kiss me?” He asked, smiling. Everyone laughed a little too loudly as Kurt gasped.

“No, it’s not true,” Kurt yelled. “I’m not going to kiss you. I will never kiss you, understand?’

“Hold up,” Artie said, putting his hand up in the air, his other hand holding a drink. “I want to kiss you,”

“What?” Kurt asked, annoyed. “No,”

“I want to go next,” Artie said, smiling and facing Kurt. “Kurt, truth or dare.”

“Truth,” Kurt said again, the answer obvious.

“Is it true that you want to kiss anyone in this room?”

“No, it’s not true,” Kurt said, “I hate all of you, stop laughing Rachel,”

“Aww, look how defensive he is,” Sebastian snarked. “I smell a lie,”

“Let me guess, you want to kiss me too?” Kurt said, expecting a no.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Sebastian said casually, making Kurt throw his hands up in the air while he heard all the other guys start talking too.

“I’d kiss you,” Mike offered and Kurt was surprised to see that Tina looked willing to see her boyfriend with him.

“Come on Kurt, give us what we want,” Blaine shouted, obviously too drunk to remember that they were broken up.

“Kurtie,” Brittany told him over the rest of the shouting, “Come on, you’re a great kisser. I want you to do it,”

“Britt, I’m sorry but no,” Kurt told her. “I don’t want to kiss them,”

“I thought you were gay,” Santana bitched. “Doesn’t that mean you want to get you man kisses on or something?”

“I’m also a romantic Santana,” Kurt explained. “And kissing a bunch of guys that can barely stand up straight, little alone think straight is not my idea of a romance,”

“Fine,” Santana said, a mischievous smile playing on her lips as she turned to the rest of the group. “Okay, listen up everyone, the new rule is that you have to alternate between truth and dare each time.” She said, raising a challenging eyebrow up at Kurt who in turn glared her down. “Got it?”

“Yes,” The group shouted, still drunkenly giggling and joking about kissing him. Never again was he going to a party, let alone playing a game with a bunch of high schoolers that couldn’t hold their liquor.

“Okay, I’ll go next,” Quinn offered and Kurt was begging her with his eyes not to choose him, thinking that she’d be one to spare him. He was wrong.

“Kurt,” She said and Kurt groaned while everyone else laughed. “I dare you to give anyone in this room that wants a kiss, whether they’re a girl or a boy a kiss,” She smiled, satisfied.

“Fine,” Kurt said, much to everyone’s surprise. “I’ll do it but then I’m leaving. And don’t expect me to call any of you for a while.”

“Be careful boys,” Santana warned, getting on Kurt’s last nerve. “Hate sex never ends well,”

“Puck get up,” Kurt demanded and Puck willingly and eagerly stood up and faced Kurt.

“What one more thing,” Santana exclaimed. “You have to lock lips with everyone for at least one minute. Although I don’t think anyone would be adverse to staying attached to you longer, Lady Hummel,”

“Fine,” Kurt said again. Why couldn’t he just say no and have people accept his answer? This was Karofsky and Blaine all over again. “Let’s get this over with Puck,”

“Play nice Princess,” Puck teased, not noticing how tense and upset Kurt was.

“And go,” Santana said once she had pressed start on the timer. Kurt stood up on his toes and pressed his lips against Puck’s before Puck opened his mouth and slid his tongue into Kurt’s. He hated the kiss, he tasted the alcohol Puck had drunk and was pretty sure he could get himself drunk from the taste alone. Meanwhile Puck was enjoying the kiss, having gotten exactly what he wanted. He placed his arms around Kurt’s waist and they stood there, making out for the minute that Kurt had been dared for.

Kurt was relieved when he heard the timer went off, admittedly pushing Puck away. Puck stumbled backwards and smiled at Kurt, making him feel sick.

“That was nice Princess,” He told him. “Wanna go for round two?”

“No thanks,” Kurt said, shortly as he turned to the rest of the group. “Who’s next?”

That night Kurt had kissed a total of five boys that night. After Puck he had kissed Artie, Mike, Blaine and Sebastian and each kiss got worse as it went on. For starters, they were all drunk and reeked of alcohol. The strong smell just reminded Kurt of the mess he was in and made him feel worse. The worst part of it all was how violated he felt. He made the first move on all of them, initiating the kiss but then somewhere in between the minute the other boys took over and then they were in control.

Kurt couldn’t shake the feeling that he had gotten when Karofsky had kissed him in the locker room that one day or when Blaine had wanted to have sex with him in the parking lot of Scandals. He felt nauseous and light-headed, vulnerable. He hadn’t been in control the first two times and the second one had been with someone who was drunk. He was never the one who made the first move and that bothered him. Brittany had been the one to come to him and had kissed him first, then Karofsky in the locker room, then Blaine after he had sung Blackbird and even though he had wanted Blaine to kiss him he still felt off about it. There was a lack of control on his part in all of those situations and Kurt needed control. And now he had been kissed by five drunken boys, surrounded by a bunch of his friends who were also intoxicated and for them to think that it was a joke and that by him not wanting to kiss anyone he was seen as some sort of prude or seen as stuck up. It wasn’t fair.

Once his minute with Sebastian was up he quickly got away from him and turned back to the group. Everyone was still laughing and they hadn’t seemed to notice that he was shaking and that he was scared.

“Happy?” He asked the group, shakily.

“Very,” Puck shouted to him, causing more giggling. God, why couldn’t they stop laughing?

“I have to go,” He whispered to himself before grabbing his bag off of the couch that he had been sitting on and before quickly walking out of the door. The fresh air greeted him once he stepped outside and shut the door and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before starting to cry. You would think that he was being stupid for crying over being kissed, over having people that wanted to kiss him and over having people find him attractive but he just didn’t like it. Being thrown around like he didn’t have feelings or that he didn’t deserve boundaries was one of the worst feelings in the world for him.

He had parked a few blocks down from Rachel’s house and he didn’t feel like walking so he just slumped down onto Rachel’s front steps and brought his knees up to his chest as he continued to cry. Hopefully no one would come out of the house and find him crying since he already knew that they wouldn’t understand and would think that he was just being dramatic. Unfortunately for him, someone had followed him out of the house and had gone to find him so he was found when someone opened the front door. Fortunately it was Sam and Kurt knew that if anyone was to understand what was going on it would be him.

“Hey,” Sam said, sitting down next to him on the stairs to find that Kurt was crying. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kurt told him, hiding his face in his hands even though it was dark outside and Sam couldn’t see him.

“Well unless you cry for no reason, it’s not nothing,” Sam told him and Kurt appreciated that at least one person could tell that he was uncomfortable even though it had taken him crying for someone to notice. “You can tell me.”

“I don’t feel good,” Kurt said. It wasn’t a lie, he didn’t feel that well it just wasn’t the full truth either.

“Why not?” Sam asked him.

“Because people can’t take no for an answer,” Kurt told him.

“Oh. I’m sorry about that, I knew it wasn’t really a good idea, I should’ve stopped them,” Sam admitted.

“It wasn’t your fault Sam, I could’ve declined the dare. At least you didn’t kiss me,” Kurt said, dryly. “Not that you would want to though,”

“No, that’s not true,” Sam said, surprising Kurt. “I would kiss you. It’s just that there’s a time and place for everything and after hearing you say that you like romance, it didn’t seem like the right time or place.”

“Wait Sam,” Kurt said, looking up to see Sam’s face in the streetlights. “Are you coming out to me?”

‘Yeah. I don’t really try to hide it anymore, ever since I moved back here. I just don’t go out of my way to tell people either so you’re the only person that knows.”

“Oh, well I’m happy for you,” Kurt told him. “How long have you known?”

“I don’t really know,” Sam admitted. “I think as I grew up, I just grew into it. I’ve never dated a guy before though,”

“I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me too,” Kurt offered. “I don’t do outing people,”

“I know you don’t,” Sam said, “But anyway this isn’t about me, it’s about you. Can you tell me what happened?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Kurt sighed. “I doubt you’ll even understand my logic but it’s just… I like being in control of myself and I didn’t feel that way when I was in there. Before that I’ve been kissed a total of three people, one of them that I won’t name but the other two being Brittany and Blaine and out of those three people, not once have I been the one to kiss first. And I know it’s probably a stupid detail to focus on but it bothers me. I didn’t really want to kiss Brittany, it was all just some stupid plan to get my dad to spend more time with me but it backfired. Then with the person I won’t name he…” Kurt paused, his breathing starting to become uneven and uncontrolled. “... he forced it on me, Sam and it was terrible. Out of all the bullying I’ve ever endured I don’t think I had ever felt that violated or uncomfortable before. And then he told me that if I told anyone that he would kill me and that just made me long for a sense of control over what happened in my life even more. And with Blaine the first time we kissed it wasn’t like I didn’t want it because I did but it was just that… he had led me on for so long and I was finally starting to get over him when he finally decided that he liked me back. Just another example of how out of control my life feels. I’m never the one to make the first move. I’m always seen as the feminine gay, the female in the relationship and maybe that’s how it has to be but I don’t like it. I don’t like how everyone thinks I need to be saved, that I’m some sort of princess who needs a prince. For once, I’d like to be in charge and I want to be the savior. And it’s not just in relationships. Before you moved back to Lima, we did West Side Story and I auditioned for the male lead but the reason I didn’t get it was because everyone thought that I wasn't fit for the role because I was too girly. I overheard Artie, Coach Beiste and Ms. Pillsbury say that I had “toothpick arms” and don’t quote me on this but that they needed someone that would “excite lady parts.” So Blaine got the part because he’s the masculine gay. And Blaine was always the one to kiss me first because he was my supposed “savior”. I’ve been through a lot Sam but that only made me stronger and it’s nice to have some help now and then but I feel like people misunderstand me and think that because I’ve been bullied so much that I’m vulnerable and that I need help. I just wish that someone would see me as more than the bullied gay kid that wears clothes that look like they’re for girls and who has a high pitched voice. I want to have an equal share in my relationship and I want to be with someone who can accept the fact that sometimes I may want to be the girl but other times I may want to be the boy. Is that really asking for too much?”

“Kurt you’re amazing,” Sam started to say, making Kurt blush, “and anyone who can’t see that or who doesn’t know that is stupid. I know how strong you are because trust me, not many people can do what you’ve done. Not a lot of people could survive in a town like this where they’re hated by about half of the population, where they’re constantly picked on just because of who they love, they just wouldn’t be able to take it. I know I wouldn’t be able to. I know that when you guys first started the New Directions that half the club hated you and now Finn’s your brother and Puck wanted to kiss you. I’d say that’s a big improvement and it makes you an even better person that you forgave them and don’t still hold a grudge. I’ve seen what you can do. It doesn’t matter how you’re seen because at the end of the day you did what you did. I’m sorry other people don’t see it that way. And I know it’s not my fault but I’m sorry you went through that with those people. If it make you feel better I know what it’s like to be kissed against your will,”

“It doesn’t,” Kurt admitted. “Do you mean at the strip club?”

“Yeah. You would think it’s any teenage boy’s dream to get paid to dance and kiss and have sex with women but it’s not. At least it’s not mine. I get the “feeling violated” thing. The only reason I kept doing it was because my family needed the money but thank god Finn and Rachel came because I hated it there,”

“You always are doing that,” Kurt told him. “Putting your family first. It’s sweet,”

“Thanks. It’s the least I can do really. Family has to stick together.” Sam paused and then sighed. “But here I am miles away from them.”

“Sam, it’s good to help out your family when you can but you’re still a kid. You deserve to be able to go to school and to have fun while you still can.” Kurt assured him.

“I know,” Sam said. “You helped me out a lot though. By giving me your clothes and by not telling anyone. And your clothes weren’t that bad either, they were actually kind of comfortable,”

“Thank you,” Kurt laughed. “But I would’ve done it for you in a heartbeat. I know it may not seem like much but when you stood up to Karofsky for me it meant a lot. You were the first person to ever do that for me,”

“Can I ask you something?” Sam asked Kurt, hesitantly. “And you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to but you may want to talk about it,”

“Sure,”

“Was Karofsky the one that… you know, kissed you?”

“Yes,” Kurt said, sadly sighing to himself. “Apparently he hated me because he was jealous of me. Or because he loved me. It’s all confusing. How’d you figure it out?”

“Well being gay myself I sorta have a gaydar,” Sam joked. “But I saw him starring at my ass last year and then it kind of clicked in my head that he was gay when I thought about how he treated you.”

“You aren’t going to tell anyone, are you?” Kurt asked, nervously.

“Of course not,” Sam assured him. “It’s his choice whether he wants to come out or not,”

After that they stayed quiet for a while, looking out to the street of Rachel’s house and listening to the cars pass by and the faint music that was still coming from the party. Both boys could feel a sort of tension between them, like they wanted to ask one another something but couldn’t bring themselves to say it. Finally Kurt broke the tension.

“Sam?”

“Yeah,”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,”

“And you can say no if you don’t want to but…” He paused and took a deep breath. “... can I kiss you?”

“Yeah,” Sam breathed, turning to face Kurt. “I’d like that,”

“Okay,” Kurt said, smiling. He leaned in, bracing himself while Sam stood still so that Kurt could make the first move. Kurt pressed his lips on Sam’s and kissed him while Sam kissed back. This time Kurt slid his tongue into Sam’s mouth and deepened the kiss. He had to admit it felt much better to him, being in the lead. He put his hand on Sam’s face just like Karofsky and Blaine had done to him before pulling away from Sam, both of them breathing heavily.

“That was nice,” Sam said. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while. But how do you feel?”

“I feel good,” Kurt smiled. “I feel really good. Thank you for you know, letting me,”

“You're welcome,” Sam said, smiling back. “Whatya say we get out of here? Make Finn get a ride from Puck and go home,”

“I’d like that,” Kurt said, standing up with Sam and holding his hand. Together the two boys walked down the stairs and down the block out of sight from Rachel’s house where they hadn’t noticed that half of the party had been watching them.

“What the fuck was that?” Puck asked, still slurring, even more drunk than before. “Sam gets a kiss willingly but I don’t?”

“Sam loves Kurt you idiot,” Finn told him. “I could tell this whole time,”

“So you knew Sam was gay and you didn’t tell us?” Artie asked him.

“I already learned my lesson about outing people,” Finn shrugged. “Kurt wouldn’t talk to me for a week after what happened with Santana,”

“They’re cute,” Sebastian admitted.

“I was better,” Blaine pouted.

“Sure you were Blainers,” Santana teased him. “You two better watch out,” She added, talking to Rachel and Finn, “They might just take away your power couple status,”

Rachel gasped as the rest of the group laughed before returning back to the party.

[axther]

children are meant to be cradled, not placed in wars

a bnha/reader fic

chapter one 

YN was normal. 

She lived in a neighbourhood that had good families and minimal crime. She was popular at school, and her best friend was the quiet, weird kid stereotype. Some part of YN wondered why it was all monotone, but then her friend would pull her along and they would commit some minor crime like regular teenagers. 

One day, after hopping over fences into a house that YN and her friend had deemed their own but definitely hadn’t bought, said friend was staring at YN. 

The friend, Soma Quinn, wasn’t normal. She always wore the same clothes (a pair of worn jeans, a Bethesda Dark Brotherhood jacket, grey converse, and a black tank top), and had to repeat herself to get her points across. She had only one ear, as when she was seven, she played with scissors too much and sheared it off. She kept to herself and looked constantly like she wanted to fight someone. But Soma was sweet and would babble for hours about her games and stories. 

Today, though, something was off. 

Soma had a slight staring problem. She would retract into her head like a turtle, it’s shell and stare into nothing. But, if she was staring at something in particular, like YN, then that was exactly what she was thinking of. 

“What’s up? Thinkin’ about, uhh,” YN dropped her voice. “Murder?” 

“Kidnapping, actually.” 

“Ooh, fancy. Who?” 

“You.” Soma batted her eyes. 

“Oh?” YN smirked. “You should take me out to dinner first.” “What do you call this?” 

“Oof, fair.” YN blinked. “But seriously. What’s up?” 

“I’ve been having dreams again.” Soma frowned. “Nightmares.” 

YN furrowed her brow, standing up. “What is it this time?” 

“You know that thing where your ear rings out of nowhere and you wonder if you’ve got tinnitus or something?” Soma began biting her lip, the previous abrasions on the bottom lip not even having scabbed over yet. 

“Yeah?” 

“It starts out like that. Then I see this big ass comet. And then, like, it’s Fallout Four, without any green mods. And there’s no Sole Survivor.” 

YN was silent. Soma had nightmares, ones that she took medicine for, but they would always come true. They varied; from YN’s father getting into a car accident to one of their classmates trying to shoot up the school. Every time Soma called out her dreams, actions would be taken, and disaster would be avoided. And they were always right. 

“What can we do, Som?” 

“Gay panic, probably.” Soma put her head on her fist. “We can’t stop a comet, but…”

YN stopped pacing. “But, what?” 

Soma said nothing but continued staring at YN. The bigger youth began pacing again, and her eyes started tearing up. 

“Oh my god. I don’t want to die. What about Mom and Dad? And...and we didn’t get to grow up! I wanted to go to the WTF Championships after my internship! You wanted to work at Bethesda! God! What the fuck!” 

“There’s a hack we can use. But just us.” 

“But what about-” 

“Everyone else thought I was a freak. Even my own parents. But you don’t. Or if you do, then you don’t care. And honestly, that’s even better. I would kill for you, and I would die for you.” Soma glanced up at YN, and YN felt a chill go down her spine. There was a dark look in Soma’s eyes that was dangerous, like something deep and primal that neither of them had seen before had been untapped. 

“I can’t let you die.” 

Before YN could say anything more, a blue light lit up the floor. At first, it was just a circular pattern with a script that YN didn’t recognise, but then it filled out until lit looked like a cyan liquid (definitely not water; it wouldn’t be this bright) that splashed around and landed on YN’s bare arms. The outside of it began to collapse, with splintered wood and asbestos crumbling into dust and nothingness. YN started to pant, trying to grasp the situation. 

“What the hell? Som, Som, what-” 

“I am so sorry, YN/N.” Soma’s dark look became guilty and sad. “You and I can live free, now.” 

“Wait-!”  

And then, YN fell. 

Falling to her death was nothing like what YN expected. 

In all the movies and books and shows, it took a long time, with inner dialogue playing and no actual worry. But this was completely different. YN couldn’t think, and her throat felt like it had been sucker punched. The wind rushed past her, and she couldn’t breathe, and oh god, she was going to die- 

But then, the smell of pine trees and sweat and a swath of white and black took over her senses. 

Something, someone, had grabbed her bridal style, seven hundred feet in the air. 

“I’ve got you! Don’t panic!”

The voice was loud and almost squeaky, but male. He seemed like a teenager, but no teenager could jump as high as YN was. She shook, her mind fuzzy and boggled. There was a controlled descent now, and YN could breathe again. When he landed, he gently set her down on her feet, and she fell to her knees. 

“Oh! Are you ok? Are you injured?” 

His voice was drowned out by the buzzing in her ears, and a distant humming. She could’ve sworn that it was familiar before it abruptly stopped. 

“-s hurt, and she won’t respond, and oh gosh! What if she’s injured? How do I get her attention? Eraserhead hasn’t shown us emergency procedure yet, and what if she’s in shock? Of course, she’s in shock, you idiot!” The boy, who too had kneeled, was non-stop mumbling to himself. YN didn’t look up, but she listened. 

“She hasn’t suffocated, I don’t think...ah! What would All Might do? Should I get Thirteen? He’ll know what to do! He is a pro-hero, after all! But she shouldn’t be left on her own...should I ask Ochako? I probably shouldn’t yell, she might have a headache from that fall. And I didn’t bring my phone! Ah!” 

YN glanced up, and she had her breath taken away for the second time that day. 

The boy before her (he was definitely a boy, she conceded) had huge green eyes and a smattering of freckles in perfect twin diamonds, but what astounded her the most was the mop of green hair. It looked perfectly natural, and even a little bit ungroomed, and it was increasingly surreal the more she looked at him. He was ridiculously pretty and seemed like he had stepped out of a movie. 

“Excuse me,” She croaked. Her throat hurt, but she was confused above all.

“Ah!” The boy jumped again, striking a pose that seemed like an exaggerated surprise. “You can talk!” 

“Where am I?” The more she glanced around, the less familiar it was, and the boy got out of the pose. 

“You’re in Mustafu, ma’am.” He kneeled again. “Are you feeling alright?” He stuttered a bit on the ‘alright’, but seemed determined. 

“For, uh,” YN glanced up, but the sinkhole was gone. “For falling, I think so.” 

“Can you walk?” He held out a hand, and YN grabbed it. It had scars littered all over it, but it seemed quite soft. 

She tested her weight and found that she was alright, for the most part. She nodded. 

“I need to take you to some pro-heroes, so they can take care of you. Okay?” He tilted her head when she let out an undignified snort. 

“Heroes?” 

“Yeah,” He looked confused. “You know, like Thirteen, and Present Mic, and All…” He trailed off when YN’s brow furrowed further.

“What?” 

“Oh no!” He looked shocked and guilty. “Maybe you hit your head and forgot!” 

“Forgot-no, I didn’t forget-” 

“Come on! We need to get you checked!” 

He ushered her towards two figures and an ambulance, one of which looked like an over-inflated astronaut. Only then did YN realise that there was a huge crater in the ground, stemming from where the sinkhole was situated above. She blinked, perhaps stupidly, before pointing to it. 

“Did I...do that?” 

The boy glanced over and grinned sheepishly. “No, haha...that was me.” 

YN paled. “You?” 

“Yeah. It’s kind of a side effect of my quirk. I can’t control it too well. I’m getting better though!” He grinned cheerily, and YN paled. 

“What?” She whimpered, but the boy didn’t hear her. He took her to the astronaut and a blonde man. 

“Thirteen! This is the girl that fell! I think she has some memory problems…” 

“Good job, Midoriya.” The astronaut turned to YN and took her spare hand. “Please, come with me. We’re gonna give you a check-up.” 

YN choked on her words, glancing between the astronaut and the boy Midoriya, and then to the blonde man with the gravity-defying peaked hair and yellow sunglasses that wouldn’t stop grinning. The astronaut gently guided her to an older woman, letting the teen sputter the entire time. 

“This is Recovery Girl,” He gestured. “She can take care of you, and see if you have any head injuries.” 

He handed her over, and YN stared at the woman. She was most definitely not a girl and reminded her of her grandmother, but she looked matronly and had a pink and purple visor. 

“Hello. Come, sit, sit!” She patted at the edge of the ambulance, and YN did as she was told. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a massive medical needle and felt her heart leap up to her throat. Recovery Girl followed her line of sight and laughed. 

“Don’t worry! That’s my cane! It matches my line of work, obviously.” She smiled, and YN felt a little less apprehensive. 

“What?” YN murmured, biting her lip. 

“Does anything hurt, my dear?” Recovery Girl began putting pressure on YN’s limbs, seeing if there was pain. “It doesn’t look like anything is broken, but it is a precaution to check.” 

“My head…” YN felt like her skull was splitting from her fresh migraine. “It hurts.” 

“Ah!” Recovery Girl leapt up, and YN had to admit, she was surprisingly spry and youthful. She went behind YN and gently placed her palms on her cranium. There was a feather-light touch, and the pain seeped away. Inexplicable sleepiness came over YN, and she felt her eyes begin to drop. 

Her head nodded forward, and she fell asleep. 

(Me, a full ass gamer w/ Xbox, Playstation, PC, and Switch: what r some,,,,,,,,vido gaem word)

[bambityrus]

my least favourite glee characters

i’ll probably add to this more

tina- it’s the making finn’s death all about her for me, it’s the creepy obsession with blaine for me, it’s the way she reacted to marley passing out at sectionals for me, it’s the ending up with artie for me, it’s the vaporape for me

rachel- it’s the racist comments for me, it’s the stereotyping gay people for me, it’s the whole santana understudy situation for me, it’s the running for student council president after she got the lead in wss for me,

artie- it’s the way he reacted to ryder’s sexual assault story for me, it’s the misogyny for me, it’s the whole “tested” episode for me, it’s the drawing quinn’s boobs for me, it’s the blaming marley for her eating disorder for me, it’s the calling brittany stupid for me

ryder- it’s the transphobia for me, it’s the going after a girl with a boyfriend for me, it’s the bl*** je**** for me, it’s the agression for me

jake- it’s the cheating on marley bc she wouldn’t put out for me. it’s the acting like he did nothing wrong for me, it’s the way he treated bree during her pregnancy scare for me

will- it’s the pedophile vibes for me, it’s the cheating on emma for me, it’s the singing and twerking with minors for me, it’s the going after a married woman for me, it’s the refusing to stop twirking even though if he did unique would have access to a bathroom they were comfortable in, it’s the rapping for me, it’s the casting himself as rocky in a high school production of rocky horror for me, it’s the not shutting down rachel’s crush right away for me, it’s the stealing his dead students football jacket from his other grieving students and pretending like he didn’t for me, it’s the being best friends with a minor and his student for me, it’s the weird relationship with quinn for me, it’s the asking sue out as a joke for me

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)

[lol-misantlery]

Yuletide 2019

Hello! I am misantlery on ao3.

Under the read more are specific details about what I want for Derry Girls, Mad Men, Queen’s Thief, Into the Spiderverse, Fleabag, and The Eagle.

General Likes

PINING, awkwardness, people being inexplicably fond of each other, breaking up/making up fic, people being emotionally repressed, denial, FORCED INTIMACY (pretending to be dating, bed sharing, huddling for warmth, trapped in elevator/closet/room together), amnesia fic, first times, hurt/comfort, trust issues, hooker aus, robot aus, happily ever afters.

I am good with g-rated or nc-17 rated fic, but if you’re comfortable writing porn here are some things I am into:

bad decision sex sexual experimentation fun/goofy/‘bad’ sex sex pollen intimacy issues

General Dislikes

rape/non con, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, mundane aus, soulmate marks aus, 24/7 BDSM, non canonical major character death, harm to animals, unhappy endings, mpreg, issuefic, harm to children.

If you want to know some more about what i’m into for each fandom/want some prompts, then keep reading but don’t stress about following each prompt to the letter or anything. They’re here for inspiration!

Why are you so into The Purge as a scenario???

Listen, this took me by surprise too. Explaining it now makes me sound like a crazy person. But I will try.

The Purge is a horror movie franchise, set in a dystopian near-future America where all crime is legal for one day a year, including murder. Pretty dark, edgy, violent stuff! I am not especially interested in the dark and grim sociopolitical realities of this situation, in case my prompts don’t make that clear. I am here for the absurdity, and in the case of most of these fandoms, for the weird and hilarious contrast between my requested fandom and the over the top violence of The Purge. You don’t even need to watch any of The Purge movies, because let’s be real, I don’t care about the world building or logistics here, and I’m not interested in a true crossover so much as I am in borrowing the “all crime is legal for a day” scenario. If any of the Purge prompts speak to you, read some wiki summaries and have at it.

Don’t feel obligated to write those prompts if these aren’t scenarios that appeal to you! And if you do write them, please, don’t make them super dark. Again, the appeal here is the absurdity, not the grim violence of it all.

Derry Girls: Erin Quinn, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, James Maguire

Let me start off by saying you don’t need to include all four in a fic if you don’t want to! I’m perfectly happy with any configuration you end up putting together. If you want to include all the gang, that’s great too! I love everybody nominated so feel free to go wherever your imagination takes you.

I love how the group will spend all day making fun of each other but always come together when it counts. I would definitely enjoy you keeping with the show and doing something with that. Everyone going up on stage to perform with Orla and James realizing that he belongs as a Derry Girl are two of my favorite scenes.

Prompts:

Erin/Clare: I would love a fic where Erin and Clare really do go to prom together instead of the whole thing with Mae and John Paul. Maybe they go for real, or maybe Erin goes as her fake date to support her and then they have to continue the charade after prom. Erin would definitely do a lot of research and throw herself fully into being the best lesbian she could be, which obviously would include practicing kissing Clare a whole lot. I love a good fake dating fic that has the couple accidentally catching feelings. I also love the idea of everyone thinking she’s just making a statement and her dad being the only one to realize her feelings are for real.

I also love the idea of them bonding over a crush on Ms. De Brun, either after the first time or having her roll back into town and Erin going full Dean Pelton “This better not awaken anything in me.”

Michelle/James: I’m very into their combative but loving relationship. Michelle asking him to stay in the finale *__* I’m also very much into introducing a cousinfucking aspect but if you aren’t, don’t worry. I also enjoy how they are in the show, so if you keep their relationship at that level I’ll still be perfectly happy. If you are into it, Michelle totally gives off a “stop making love to me while I’m trying to fuck you” vibe and I would really enjoy seeing how annoyed she would be to realize he was more than just a ride to her.

Michelle gets caught in a time loop and has to figure out how to escape it. Maybe she lets James leave Derry all those other times and the version we see is the one she got right. Or maybe James and Michelle both get caught up in a loop and try increasingly ridiculous schemes to get out of it.

Or maybe Michelle’s mom gave up James’ room when she thought he was leaving with his mom and now James and Michelle have to share a room. They have to deal with all the feelings the finale brought up.

If you are more inspired by one of the other configurations please go for it. I loved James being instantly on Clare’s side when she came out. Finding out how Michelle and/or Erin and/or Clare’s friendship started would be fun. I liked James coming through for Erin when she got stood up. If you are more inspired by James and Erin please keep it platonic. I like them just as friends. I’m definitely open to James, Michelle, and Erin being queer/bi/etc if you’re interested in including that in any of these prompts.

Something based on this post: https://v1als.tumblr.com/post/187672633662/meanwhile-in-the-other-derry . If this appeals to you please go as wild as you want. Fic about the Derry Girls bullying a clown to death? Awesome! Fic about Mary Quinn beating the shit out of a dumb clown with a frying pan or Sister Michael being incredibly unimpressed by It? Love it. If you want to go to an angsty place I’m into it but I would prefer it doesn’t end with anybody perma-dead. I'd be equally happy with ships or no ships for this. No need to bring in the rest of the It characters unless you feel like it.

Mad Men: Bob Benson, Pete Campbell

This is probably my forever yuletide fandom! The show’s been over for a while now, but I still have an enormous soft spot for the love story of Bob and Pete, and would read any number of variations on it.

I don’t mind if you ignore certain parts of canon (s7) or go canon divergent, you can also follow canon if want (Bob shows up in Wichita??) GO WILD.

Shipping Bob/Pete began as a joke for me, but I do ship it for real. I like that Bob is all *_________* about Pete and Pete is simultaneously disgusted and intrigued. He might not be gay, but he’s definitely into someone who’s into him.

Also, if you just want to write about Bob I’d be really interested in his past and what the whole “manservant” deal was. We pretty much know nothing about him and I’d be interested in some backstory, but I’m not exactly looking for Bob/OMC PWP. In case it seemed that way!

btw, https://vimeo.com/132033248 is a supercut of all Bob/Pete scenes (pw: kneetouching). Enjoy!

Prompts:

Fake dating: The CEO of a big company is secretly gay and Pete thinks pretending to be gay will form a bond of solidarity that will give him an edge, but the CEO mistakes this for interest and Pete scrambles to come up with an excuse to get out of doing anything gay and he comes up with, “I have a lover! You may have met him…”

They go to a gay bar lolz and awkwardness ensue.

Pete molds Bob into the Perfect Ad Man and falls for him in the process. Basically “My Fair Lady” with a hillbilly and sodomy.

Groundhog day fic: Pete has to go through the same day again and again, tries to get help from Ken, Peggy, etc, and then comes to the realization that only Bob believes him.

Bob is a conman who starts out trying to seduce Pete as part of a long con, but ends up falling in love.

what if Bob is a spy who mistakes Pete for his contact because Pete compliments his tie? what kind of spy and mistaken identity shenanigans could ensue?

What if Bob and Pete + the Purge??? I feel like Bob would do well. He’s got secrets. Maybe one of those secrets is a facility with weaponry. Also, sodomy wasn’t legal in New York until the 1980s. What if someone in the office awkwardly asks Bob what he’s going to do during the Purge and Pete is appalled, because how uncouth! Everyone knows you don’t ask people what they’re going to do during the Purge! And then Bob makes some veiled comment about how he always spends his Purges banging dudes, and Pete is horribly Intrigued because sex stuff is never a Purge thing he’d thought of.

Queen’s Thief - Megan Whalen Turner: Gen, Attolia

I love these books, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I love Attolia, Gen, and their relationship best. I didn't see the twist where Gen confessed his love to Attolia coming at all the first time I read it and I frantically read to the end to make sure that everything turned out ok. As soon as I got there, I flipped to the front and started again. Somewhere between that moment and when I reached that scene on the stairs again, they became one of my all time OTPs. To be honest, it was probably when she cut off his hand.

I just love them so much, with how ruthless Attolia is and how clever Gen is, and all I want is a fic that focuses on them and their sort of messed up dynamic and that will be enough. I also love Kamet/Costis and would be happy to see something about them in addition to some Gen/Attolia content. I'm open to canon divergent AUs, but, please, no AUs where Attolia doesn't cut off his hand.

Prompts:

Part of what I love so much about this pairing is how terrifyingly competent they are together, and what a good team they make. So I’d love a fic about something like, what if some of their barons are stupid enough to think that Gen and Attolia can be turned on each other? Obviously Gen and Attolia have to go crush them together.

They have to go on some kind of diplomatic visit to Eddis or Sounis or maybe something further afield and absolutely nothing goes as planned. Again, show me how terrifyingly competent they are! Or just go for the lolz: how hilariously wrong can things go, and how do Gen and Attolia deal with it? You can also go the action/adventure route: do they have to get themselves out of a sticky situation by fighting or sneaking around?

Speaking of sneaking around: I’m also into the many possibilities of the scenario where Gen teaches Attolia how to sneak into his bedroom for once. Sexy, funny, emotional, all of the above, I’m into any of it!

Part of the messed up dynamic that I love with these two is how fear and love and guilt are all mixed up together for them, after Attolia cuts off her hand. So I’d be really interested in anything about how/if Gen gets over his fear of Attolia in bed or not, but maybe definitely at least in part through sex.

And because I’ve got a soft spot for Costis and Kamet: Gen and Attolia attend Costis and Kamet's wedding, in disguise or not. Maybe it makes them think of their own wedding! Maybe everyone just reflects sappily on True Love! Or maybe someone gets up to shenanigans!  It’s up to you, dear writer!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse: May Parker, Olivia Octavius

"My friends call me Liv," Doc Ock says to Miles. And then when she walks into Aunt May's house, May says, "Oh great, it's Liv." I would really love to read a lot more about what's going on with that. Sex is not a must, but I do ship them and anything about a romantic relationship would be great. If you're not into that, then I'd love to read more exploring their dynamic in general -- May is so fondly exasperated and not remotely surprised, but they both immediately go to the mat.

Prompts:

Pre-movie college backstory. Were they rivals-turned-lovers in college? Friendly but disinterested roommates who spent all their time playing science cloak-and-dagger games before realizing over spring break that their nemesis was their roommate? 

Pre-movie Spidey parallels backstory. May was clearly supporting Peter as he developed into your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and Octavia has been... what? We know she's CEO of Alchemax during the movie -- was she promoted? Is she the founder? I'd love something exploring their parallel paths, May as a behind-the-scenes string-puller and Liv as a mad scientist, with Peter in the middle working to counter Liv more explicitly. 

Post-movie, MIles goes to visit Aunt May and finds Liv there. They have a really awkward tea. 

Post-movie, Liv tries to make a comeback. May rolls her eyes and gets to work.

Purge!AU: What happens to the two of them on Purge night? Does May reluctantly go out to try to stop whatever Liv is up to this time? Do they end up working together for some reason? Do they declare it amateur night and just order a pizza?

Also, I would be interested in a fun fic where May and Liv both end up sort of awkwardly mentoring Miles because Miles and Liv end up in a classic supervillian-superhero team-up against some other big villain or disaster.

Fleabag: Fleabag, Priest

So I watched all of Fleabag in a weekend fueled by pizza and beer and loved all of it. But, not gonna lie, what really got me to sit down and finally watch the show was all this talk of a hot priest romance going on in season 2. Others may never believe Moriarty from BBC Sherlock could bring it like that, but I saw the light.

I’m absolutely fine with shippy fic for this fandom. If you want to go down the hardcore priest fucking road then go wild, but I did love everything about the show. Fleabag herself and all of her issues, Claire (and her haircut) and everyone else. Whatever you can write for me that captures how heartbreaking and funny the show is would be great, I'm sure.

Prompts:

With all this talk of the cool Pope maybe considering letting priests marry let’s pretend that the Vatican really does that and now priests everywhere can get married. How would Fleabag feel when she sees the news on the telly? How would the Priest? Imagine them bumping into each other after the news come out.

I think one of the most interesting things about season 2 was the Priest knowing when Fleabag was breaking the fourth wall. What if the fox is his personal fourth wall that no one sees but Fleabag that he can’t leave behind until he deals with his shit? 

Purge prompt: Brexit finally happens and the new PM decides to try this Purge thing the Americans have been doing every year. How would Fleabag fare in the purge? Would she stay locked inside with her family having to fight off Stepmother, who’s down to do some purging herself and is scarily good at killing people? Would she go off to hunt Martin? Maybe fucking a Priest doesn’t count if it’s during purge night.

The Eagle | Eagle of the Ninth: Marcus Flavius Aquila, Esca Mac Cunoval

I love this stupid movie so much.I love Marcus, Esca, and Marcus/Esca and would prefer them shipped. UST/pre-slash is okay, too, if you'd rather not write a romance, but please at least leave me the hope that it's going to happen!

What I really love about Marcus/Esca is how even when Marcus is the one who holds official power over Esca as his owner, Esca is always the one with the power in their relationship because Marcus is so desperately into him. I love Marcus pining for Esca but being too honourable to do anything about it, while Esca is too angry at himself for pining for Marcus to do anything about it. I also enjoy Marcus having Roman issues about wanting Esca to fuck him and I don't care if they're not entirely historically accurate. I would just be very into Marcus having very rigid ideas about sex between men and struggling with wanting Esca to fuck him and Esca helping him overcome that.

Some general things about them that I love, both in the movie and in potential fic: cultural miscommunications, or just them worrying enough about miscommunication that they don't even try. Marcus having such utter blind trust in Esca. Esca having to relearn how to let somebody care about him.

Prompts:

That said, my first request is PWP. /o\ I would really, really love a Seal People Made Them Do It fic. Maybe the Seal Prince wants Esca to prove Marcus is his slave, or maybe there's a general boning festival going on and it'd be weird/suspicious for Esca not to participate, I don't know (and not too concerned with historical accuracy on this one). But I'm very into the danger element of they have to fake it for their safety/survival and the intimacy element of them understanding each other with few or no words. Like from Esca's POV, he gets that Marcus understands and consents, or from Marcus', understanding that if he doesn't want to go along with it, they can try to kill their way out. And, okay, if Marcus is a little ashamed of being into it, I am very, very there for that. :9

I would also love a roadtrip fic! The movie clearly ends with Marcus setting Esca up to choose their next adventure, so what does he choose? I don't have a lot of specific plot ideas for that, but I would definitely love to see them on another journey together, maybe hitting all the fun roadtrip tropes, like huddling for warmth in the woods and there being only one bed in their room at the hospitia. 

Or, if you're feeling up to something fun and weird, a Purge AU. Honestly, Ancient Rome is a setting that seems oddly suited to hosting the Purge and I would love to see it either played relatively straight to dark and dramatic effect, or humorously deconstructed, with Esca exasperated by more let's-kill-people Roman nonsense.

I would also really be into fic from Esca's POV, holding Marcus during the surgery and contemplating letting twitch and die, and then ~looking into his eyes~ and feeling sick with himself for having such a thought about the man who saved his life, even if he is a Roman asshole. Perhaps followed by all the times Esca could have had him killed or let him die and deciding not to because HONOR until he realizes no, actually, I just really, really want to bone this dude. And then he follows up on that realization, in whatever romantic form that takes.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #46

honestly too lazy to muse over song lyrics so hey let’s get into it.

has anyone ever called you sexy? jason did the first time he saw me in a bikini and i blushed like a bitch. do you like raisins? NO what is your favorite bug? butterflies what is your opinion on abortion? lmao do you REALLY want me to get into that one? what is your opinion on gay marriage? it's fine. what is your opinion on gay adoption? also fine, so long as you don't raise said child to think being gay is "normal," like A LOT of people seem to think. now before i get blown up with notes about how "i'm calling being gay bad," NO. normal and bad are two very different things. being gay is a mutation, thus is not normal. but is it bad? no. it irks me when people think that being gay is normal, bc it's not, and a gullible child should not be told differently. do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? absolutely not. would you rather freeze or burn to death?  burn, only because freezing would be agonizingly slow you've just died, and you're given the choice of reincarnation, being a spirit, or going to heaven/hell, wherever you belong.  i wanna go to heaven. have peace. you're in prison. would you think about trying to escape and running away?  no. i'd get caught.  they always do in the end. you're getting married! where’s your honeymoon? idk tbh. aside from any current relationships, what was your closest relationship ever? me and jason do you give good massages?  well. jason has a terrible back so i used to give him massages a lot and they always ended with us making out so lol. when’s the last time you went against your eating habits or religion (ex. eating beef when you’re muslim)?  never even if you are not christian or never celebrated christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in santa clause? why or why not? absolutely!! it's all in good fun and it stimulates the imagination. jason never believed in santa and when i found out, i remember i felt really sad for him. when you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? sigh. they're always about jason rejecting me in one way or another. what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) women? what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) men?  i do NOT like skanky clothes, ex. shorts that literally show off your ass or shirts with an immense amount of cleavage. i can't stand baggy pants on men. do you believe america should legalize drugs? if you think they should legalize only some drugs, which drugs do you think they should legalize?  ... no??? what the fuck's next, legalizing murder bc it would deter murderers??? would you vote a homosexual president into office? why or why not? yes, because why not? what's your most embarrassing sex (or sexual) story? if you haven't had sex, talk about an embarrassing sex story you heard. i've told this before in an old survey: that time i'm pretty damn sure i was about to orgasm but instead i had a panic attack because i didn't understand what i was feeling lmao besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don't want anyone to know? first let it be known that i don't watch porn. it's disgusting. two, the meerkat role-play site i take part in because i find rp embarrassing to the public eye. would you support marijuana legalization if it were taxed and distributed in a way similar to alcohol? nope what do you most want to improve upon in yourself? not allow my happiness to be dependent on others if you were throwing your significant other / best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? elephants! she loves them! how often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? like, once a month? who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? hmmm... i'm honestly tied between the mad hatter and the cheshire cat! what'​​s your curre​nt boy situa​tion?​​ i'm single, but i just joined a dating site like... yesterday so i guess you could say i'm looking. it's honestly embarrassing to me personally to be on a dating site, but after a month's worth of thought, i decided i think that's what's best for me. gave you ever donat​ed blood​?​​ yes. have you ever been to seawo​rld? yep. what video game should everybody play at least once?  "silent hill 2." NO, not because it's my favorite game, but that damn message. it shows that you cannot run from your past and regrets; you instead have to face up to them. what is impossible to understand until it happens to you? mental illnesses what’s a weird thing you are scared of? WHALE SHARKS what is the most enjoyable exercise? biking how much time do you spend putting on makeup daily? i usually don't wear makeup. but if i do, gimme like five minutes have you ever worn faux eyelashes? nope what color is your flash-drive? pink when’s the next time you’ll change your hairstyle and will you color it? hairstyle will remain the same, gotta get the layers trimmed tho. i'm getting galaxy hair after my red fades!! has anyone ever called you fake and do you agree with them? no. do you make an effort to talk to all of your facebook friends, or are there certain people that you talk to the most? nope. i mean i'll "like" some of their statuses and whatnot, but i don't talk to most of them anymore. do you hate your weight? very much so. what kind of mood are you in atm? is someone else responsible for that mood? i'm anxious to do something, and no. who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. colleen asked to hang out a couple days back, spent the night two days. :D i met her in girl scouts, but i barely remember back then. we really bonded in middle school. if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? it really depends on their situation.0 have you ever worn colored mascara? if not, would you ever think about trying it? and if you have, what is / was your favorite color to wear? ohhh, i haven't, but that'd be cool! who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my dentist. she liked my hair. what color is your purse/wallet? my purse is maroon and black. my wallet is red, black, and white. it's got a harley quinn design on it. before facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like bebo or myspace? i had myspace. which disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? why? uhhh... aesthetically... i guess belle, maybe? or jasmine? if i’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? DO NOT GET ME THE KINDS WITH FILLING OTHER THAN CHOCOLATE ITSELF OMG if you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? "thank you for saving my life" when you’re going to be at home all day, do you bother to get out of your pajamas? nope. given the choice, would you rather drink juice or soda? soda. i'm aware that's terrible, lol. how many piercings do you have? are there any more that you want? i have two in each earlobe, my tragus, my cartilage, and my nose done. i want a labret lip piercing and the snake eyes tongue piercing, as well as more on my ears. do you play angry birds? no. i recently watched the movie with friends tho, and it's so cute! do you tend to get hungry late at night? YEAH has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? yeah. we didn't actually date, but it was serious flirting, and i consider that cheating. do you blow dry your hair? NO NO NO YOU NEVER WANT TO BLOW DRY MY HAIR. it's thick af and will literally take you 10+ minutes to get completely dry. if you’ve ever had and quit a job, did you actually call in and quit or put in your two weeks notice or did you just stop showing up? at my first job, i talked face-to-face with the manager and didn't show up after i quit. at my second job, i texted my boss and didn't show up after that. do you tend to baby or take care of the people you date, or do you tend to date alpha types that take care of you? ehhh, both? like i think it's in MOST females' nature to be motherly, and i was like that with my ex, but my ex definitely cared for me, too. how would you feel if the person you were interested in refused to perform oral sex on you? i wouldn't mind. i find oral gross, anyway. when you get upset do you have any physical reactions, like prickles in your spine or your knees going weak? my head gets this weird tingling sensation. do you ever “facebook stalk” or go through facebook albums of attractive boys/girls that you have mutual friends with (but haven’t met in person)? do you ever add them? nope. hypothetically speaking, if you ever give birth to a son, would you have him circumcised? yes, in interest of his health. which of your facebook friends posts the most annoying/irritating/enraging facebook posts? what do they post? oh my GOSH, a friend i met at the hospital, whom i won't name for her privacy. she's BEYOND pro-choice, bashes EVERYONE who disagrees with her, posts a billion rants a day, and is just... very shallow in what she shares. is there something that a person can do and watching them do it makes you quite a bit attracted to them for it (e.g., watching someone play guitar, watching a someone work on a car, etc.)? many things, yeah, like the two you listed, but more. what accent do you find most difficult to understand? southern, but only when it's VERY heavy. what movie never fails to make you cry? "the notebook" do you like 3d movies? sure have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? nope do you let music move your body, or do you hold back? i always hold back why is your favorite store your favorite? i find their clothes aesthetically pleasing can you handle the stress of working in food/customer service? NONONONONO what kind of place would you want to raise your children? idk, the same state i was raised in, i guess. would you let your child have a pet? depends on their age, really. if i think they're mature enough to care for it themselves, yes. do you enjoy talking to people over webcam? NO CAN YOU SAY AWKWARD would you rather die or eat another human being? die. how would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile? i'd be... pretty devastated. i want kids, but at the same time, i'm so scared to have another life under my supervision. idk. do you like meatball subs? sure. have you been baptized in any religious tradition? yep. what is your favorite meal of the day? breakfast what season were you born in? winter what’s your favorite breed of dog? idk, i like akita inus, chow-chows, beagles... do you use twitter? nope are you a good babysitter?   not particularly.  i'm awkward with kids. how old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?   sigh.  he'll be 23 in two days. what’s the relationship with you and the last person you kissed?   we're nothing but strangers now. has anyone ever told you they were in love with you?   he was apparently full of shit.

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x15 The Power of Madonna

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x15 The Power of Madonna heeee, Sue just referenced Desperately Seeking Susan. Man, I loved that movie as a kid. Who’s That Girl as well anybody remember that one?!

hahaha, how have I never noticed before that Quinn is drawing a picture of Rachel Berry…a very unflattering picture that says “LOSER”? Awesome.

hahaha. Jesse and Rachel ‘hypothetically’ went to a Wiggles concert. Seriously, he’s kinda perfect for her.

Aw – The Montage from A Chorus Line is playing under Jesse’s pressure-her-into-sex moment. I have such fond memories of that song. I was featured in this song for a show that ended up changing the course of my entire life, quite literally. :)

“Would you please stop talking? You’re grossing out my baby.”

“But I can’t wait to get a guy mad at me for saying ‘no’.” Bite your tongue, Mercedes. Also…be careful what you wish for.

Still creeps me out that they have this whole sex talk with Mr. Schue in the room. And that he eavesdrops. And that when he speaks up it’s to ask if they’re having that much ‘guy trouble’, not to actually be a good teacher and help Rachel out in her “my boyfriend’s pressuring me to have sex but I’m not ready” situation or to respond to Britany and Santana’s advice to just never say no and that they should have more self-respect…teacher of the year indeed.

Do women really still earn 70 cents to every dollar a man does for the same job? Oh, eff that!

More Emma pamphlets:                HELP! I’m in love with my stepdad!                I still breastfeed …but how old is too old?                Congratulations, you’re pregnant.                Proper Wiping: Easy as 1…2…3                …and something about Toxic Shock Syndrome and Asperger’s that I                can’t read, lol.

Ugh, douche. Will just said this area of expertise (sex) is Emma’s blindspot. Jerk.

So Glee seems to have a knack for insulting folks that will later be guest stars. Gwyneth Paltrow and John Stamos have been mentioned thus far, and Lindsay Lohan just made the list. Hmmm…

I love the Ann Coultier jab. Cause I despise that ‘woman’

Ray of Light routine on stilts. Still leaves me speechless.  My favorite part is still when the men on stilts do these assisted lifts with women who are not. They get them so effing high.  It’s just amazing.

“Somehere on the English countryside in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping.”

“Hall of fame MILF”

HA! Artie’s look in response to Tina giving him side-eye. Too funny.

Finn has no idea what misogynistic means. #BlessFinnsHeart

Kurt is gonna do a video of Madonna’s styles. With Mercedes. Kurtcedes love. :)

Yeah, I find it hard to believe high school boys wouldn’t be rubbin’ one out at these girls in corsets, touchin’ themselves and bein’ a little S&M with one another. Even if they hate Madonna with a passion. Their disinterest is completely unrealistic.

Britany has a (younger presumably as she plays soccer with a 7 year old) sister. Forgot about that. I think RIB did too.

The way to get a man forever is to take his virginity? Really? I would think that would unleash him into a sexual awakening and sleeping with everything he could now that he wouldn’t be perceived as ‘lame’ or a loser or whatever for being a virgin…no?

Finnocence. Nice.

Can we acknowledge that Finn lost his virginity in a plot for Santana to snag a younger man (by what, 4 days I think she said?) to emulate Madonna per Sue and not get kicked off the Cheerios? That’s…just so sad.

“You’re about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid.” – ha!

So…watching this post-Nationals, does Emma get to have Madonna playing in her office now? ;)

Finn’s pissed that Rachel lied to him and didn’t really break it off with Jesse. Evs. Mind ya business, Finn.

So because he’s jealous or his ego is hurt or whatever, Finn tells Rachel if her and Jesse leads to something bad for the entire Glee club not to expect anymore friendship from him. Um…yeah. I’d marry him a year or two later. Cause…clearly he’ll be there through rough times…douche. Selfish, childish douche.

I still really like this mash-up of Borderline/Open Your Heart. And as much as I don’t love Finchel, the angst in this is my cup o’ tea. I like it.

I do love all the Madonna shout-outs in the hallway. Makes me feel old that I recognize each of these looks. Oy.

Finn, why are you just randomnly tearing books from the shelves and knocking them to the floor as you walk through the library? Such a badass…

I was watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and Brad was the piano player for one of Emily Gilmore’s parties (I think Rory’s college grad party). Hilarious. Also, he looked EXACTLY the same. How long ago was that?!

I find it awesome that Mercedes has a picture of a gal from So You Think You Can Dance in her locker. I love that show.

Up With People rejects. Ha.

Hmm. Will is suddenly not intimidated at all by Sue and her quips. What brought that on? Although, it’s hot when he stands up to her. Until he makes fun of her hair. Then he seems like a jerk.

“Oh, snap!” I love this moment. And the gif that came out of it.

Birth moment of the Sue, Kurt, Mercedes dynamic right there. Yay. :)

Sue just told Kurt and Mercedes about her sister being handicapped. I don’t care what anyone says, she likes them, even just a little bit. And I love this dynamic of the three of them. It always makes me smile.

Hahaha – Kurt’s reaction to Sue not being able to keep up with the latest looks when she was younger. Hilarious.

“Mercedes is black. I’m gay. We make culture.”

“I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section for our clandestine meeting because only he can express my melonchalia.”

“You deserve epic romance.” Listen. Looking back from the end of Season 3, I really am not understanding why I’m supposed to want Rachel with Finn. Jesse makes so much more sense.

“Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp.” Oh Emma. A for effort.

Vogue. Man. I was so little when this came out. I remember when it premiered on MTV.

Jane Lynch has such long legs. I’m jealous.

“Will Schuester. I hate you.”

Like A Virgin still makes me really uncomfortable. For so many reasons. I just…don’t need to see this side of any of these characters. I feel like a voyeur.

How did Santana and Finn swing a motel room at 15 years old? Hmm….

Add Whoopi to that list of joked about future guest stars. Yeesh…that’s 5 now? 4? Stamos, Paltrow, Lohan and Goldberg.

Sue is gonna reinvent Kurt and Mercedes. Squee!

Why is Rachel looking at sheet music for Where Is Love? Cause 1. I hate that song, 2. I hate that show, and 3. shoutout to the pilot?

Finn just asked Rachel how her date with Jesse went. With the subtext of “did you sleep with him?” WHY are they even talking about this? I don’t get it. It’s private Finn, so rude you’d even ask. Also, how does he even know they are even close to sex? I missed something. This is so weird. Made even more weird that neither of them seems to think it’s weird that they’re having this conversation. Ugh.

“Just come out so we can talk. Or sing about it.” Jesse is ridiculously perfect for Rachel Berry.

Okay, I’m gonna rant for a second: I know I’m anal and put him on a pedestal and all, but S3, they make it sound like Sam had sex with one of his clients at the strip club; after they’ve shoved super-romantic in-love-with-Mercedes Sam at us for like, 9 episodes in a row over a span of like, 3 or 4 months; regardless of how I personally feel about that or that ship, right now we see a super uncomfortable scene that still breaks my heart where Finn is dealing with the aftermath of sleeping with Santana, when he has feelings for someone else, but more in that he doesn’t have feelings for her, therefore it didn’t mean anything and it’s clearly not sitting well with him. Regret is all over his face. It’s so sad. So…why did they do the same thing but expect it to be okay in S3 regarding Sam (but even more gross cause of the whole stripper/client aspect)? Eff you, Glee.

I feel like this might be the most real and vulnerable I’ve ever seen Santana (in the post-coital conversation with Finn in the motel room bed). I mean…a couple moments may rival it, but it’s definitely top 5 if not top 3. It’s so sad to see how she really feels about this aspect of her life that publicly she seems so proud of and invincible to. Man. Poor Santana.

Um…is Puck playing Ninja in the background or just being a human statue or something? It doesn’t look like anyone is playing with him, so it must be the latter? Random.

Something changed in the way I felt about Glee after this episode, now that I look back on it. I felt like I should’ve left this episode feeling like “wow – they’re ballsy and go against the grain! They’ll do the unexpected” but…instead I was left with a feeling of “do I trust these writers with these people I’ve come to care about?” I’m referring to the possibility of consummation with 3 couples, 2 of which would have seemed…not completely unhealthy and one that obviously was…and they had those 2 chicken out and consummated the 1 that just shouldn’t have because it was kind of an irresponsible message to send to the youngins watching this show who they say at times they speak to when they write things like Kurt’s gay storyline or about being an outcast but finding a group that understands you and being happy with who you are. But here I’m sure they’d say something about how they’re not role models and shouldn’t be emulated. Yeah. This was the beginning of the end of my true love for Glee and the beginning of me just loving certain characters and occasional episodes or storylines…the beginning of my love to hate Glee. Whee. :/

It’s cute that Will polished Emma’s shoes. :)

I know a lot of people think it’s condescending and all, but I think the way Will handles suggesting counseling etc. to Emma was nice. There’s something mature about it. I think it’s that he’s like “we need to take action to work through our issues or they’re not gonna go away” as a team. It was nice.

“What the hell? It seems like now people are doing things JUST to hurt my feelings!” Ok, so maybe Finn IS more perfect for Rachel than I thought. Selfish little man-child.

Jesse St. James just joined New Directions. Kurt is pissed cause it means he’ll have no chance at a solo. Mercedes mentions that they only trot her out at the end of songs to wail on the last note, how is that okay? Truth.com. Also, why were those two issues NEVER addressed by Will? They were put out there, they were true as hell, and they were just ignored. Teacher of the year indeed.

Santana points out that obvs Jesse is a spy. Mr. Schue sticks up for Jesse and lets him join. Yet Rachel wasn’t allowed to date him cause that would be bad for the Glee club? #WTF?

“Mr. Schue, is he your son?”

“Okay, from the top!”  

4 Minutes. Seriously, I never thought Chris Colfer was hot before I saw this song. But let’s be real – he is hot as fuck in this song, I still think so. It was the first time I noticed as well that boy had grown into a little man! When did THAT happen? Wasn’t he just a baby-faced nugget like, 3 episodes before this?

Also, I love both of the vocals for them on this song.

Ok. This still pisses me off (can you tell this is an ep that started my rage towards Glee? Lol): Emma, Mr. Schue and Rachel are all distraught and shocked when they see that Mercedes and Kurt have joined the Cheerios…WHY? Britany and Santana are already on the Cheerios and in Glee and it’s fine. Quinn was. Why is this such a betrayal? They didn’t QUIT ND to join the Cheerios. And isn’t Rachel in like, 16 clubs in addition to Glee? Puck, Finn, Mike and Matt are on the football team. Artie has jazz band and AV club. Mercedes and Kurt and Tina are the only ones who are ONLY in Glee Club. This is stupid.

Shot of Quinn who is happy as a pig in shit for the two of them. THANK YOU Quinn for having sense and being a cool person and good friend.

“You guys could’ve at least given me a heads up.” “You mean, the same you way you gave us a heads up before NOT giving us a solo almost every week?” PREACH!!

You expect me to believe that the sexuality of Express Yourself, Artie working on that kick-ass Vogue video, or that amazing performance of 4 Minutes didn’t sway the boys to like Madonna…but their shitty rendition of “What It Feels Like For A Girl” did? Fuck you, Glee. I’m not an idiot. Stop treating me like one.

Why is Kurt a part of this lesson on treating the girls with respect? 1. He’s into Madonna, so he doesn’t need to be converted. 2. He’s NOT treating the girls like garbage. Teacher of the year indeed.

“I think we’re gonna need a new baritone cause Finn would like to become Finnessa”

“My growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality.”

Kurt mentions he’s an honorary girl. Again, WHY is he a part of this lesson?

AW. It just broke my heart a little that Tina said to Artie “why would you propose when you don’t even like me?” Aw. Poor Tina.

Alright, I admit, I love that whoever wrote this ep finally ended this nonsense with Finn being all pissed at Rachel for dating Jesse like she did something wrong and made him realize why she was even single to be pursued by Jesse in the first place. Kudos…whoever you are cause they didn’t credit the writer or director on this ep (the fuck?).

“Sing off. The parking lot. 5:00. Be there.” “No…”

“Frankly, I need you. I’m tired of carrying the male vocals all by myself.” Oh, FUCK. YOU. Finn! (I say on behalf of Kurt, Artie, and Puck).

Kurt just sang his first itty bitty solo in Glee club and then before Mercedes starting singing he ran up and gave her a peck on the cheek. Oh my God, I love them.

Gospel choir. So. Effing. Random. Yet so. Effing. EPIC.

SOLOS: Rachel (4), Mercedes (3), Finn (3), Emma (1), Santana (1), Will (1), Jesse (1), Kurt (2)