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bad enough that i am stuck in my life but even worse when i have to work through / around the stuckness in front of people i care about / explain it / be perceived in experiencing it. UGH!!!!!!
#purrs#i live in my childhood home i share a bedroom withy sister it hasn’t been redecorated since before we were born i don’t even have a license#ive never dated or even been liked like that by someone i know except one time ive never done like 75-80% of the things ppl my age do and i#gonna show up empty handed and empty brained to everythi ng and be seen as stupid and uncaring and whatever when really im just tired and m#life is so flat rn and i don’t have the strength to pull it up by myself and give it shape again but i have to. i don’t think i have covid#thank GOD) but i can say even without having ever gotten it and hopefully never getting it that it has ruined my life like genuinely. i mea#good things have come out of it too but i was already socially / emotionally stunted and then being locked down for a year and a half like#literaly not leaving my house for anything but medical stuff until july 2021 was so PRPFOUBDLY damaging. i feel like someone has taken a th#motion blur tool i. photoshop and just drawn like a scribble over me so some parts of me are stretched to where they need to be and other p#parts are stuck at like age idk 16 and i think i need to have most of the parts motion blurred to like… move forward! but i can’t make that#happen and i have to explain it and move around it and it’s so EMBARRASSING omg. girl help i am flowering on the wall i am blooming late i#am hiding in my shell and i want to come out but i also DO NOT so i am cowering in fear forever and never standing up for myself or standin#up at all to be honest!! lol 😸👍#anyways this post is brought to you by how INSANELY much i do not want to reply to a particular email in my inbox or spend my time tonight#[redacted] on express when i am already so exhausted. and if that makes me a bad person then so be it i guess i am one#* i don’t even have a LEARNERS PERMIT let alone a license. lawl <3
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