#until tommorow or after tmrw

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

tw vent[s], ignore this bassically i js wanna yell, it's long, sorry in advanced, you litterally do not need to read this, yadadadadayada

/nbh I feel so numb but at the same time I feel everything so fucking much I'm never sad, i'm deppressed I'm never angry, i'm fucking furious When i'm happy it feels like i'm choking on it but other times the lack of feeling scares me, why can't I be angry at them? Why aren't I sad because of this? Why can't I be happy for this? Why isn't this hurting Everything hurts and nothing can hurt me "Ok." Can make me think someone hates me but i don't feel nearly as hurt when someones yelling at me or doing something that is hurtful I feel stuck, like im repeating the same day but the world still feels like it's moving too fast 4 years ago feels like yesterday one hour feels like an eternity I want to keep everything in but it always comes spewing out I want to hate everyone who has ever done anything to me but i litterally physically cannot bring myself to because I know nobody is born wanting to fuck anyone else up, something has to happen to them. and when I learnt about what happened to them, i knew i couldn't, i litterally could not, for the love of god, hate them. It's easier for me to hate god, he's not real, he's supposed to be infalible, he has no regrets, he's okay to hate because he CAN help but is doing nothing, and he won't get any pushback from anyone. but everyone else around me seems to love that bitch, especially those who have been wronged the most by him, i litterally can't fucking get it Gonna sign out for a bit, maybe tommmorow aswell, love yall, take care of yourselves please