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whenitsdarkweilluminate · 9 months

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Rotterdam 2020 – Semi-Final 1

Host: Netherlands Slogan: “Open Up” Participants: 41 Voting method: 12-point system (50/50 system - separated) Format: 2 Semi-Finals / Grand Final = the top 10 of semi 1 & 2 + the Big 5 + host

General Overview:

As we all know, the 2020 contest was canceled because of the pandemic. The timing was very unfortunate - the world turned upside down in mid-March, which is right when the national final season wraps up. The WHO declared the pandemic on March 11, the last song (Russia) was released on March 12, and the cancellation was announced on March 18. It wasn't the news I wanted to hear – I get so excited for Eurovision every year – but obviously everyone's health and safety is more important. I was hoping for a postponement, but it would've been a logistical nightmare, and no one knew how long the restrictions would last. Or even a virtual event, but it would've been unfair to compare performances on different stages with different production values. I doubt the EBU wanted to disappoint the artists, fans, delegations, and everyone else involved; or lose money over this. So canceling was a last resort. Thankfully, they did everything they could to bring the contest back in 2021!

However, this means I have to review the 2020 entries differently. There is no staging to factor in, although the national final performances will inevitably sway me (and I will comment on those). I know it's unfair to compare them because the production values and stages vary by country, and then the internal selections are a mystery (especially if the artist didn't return for 2021). But I'll try to prioritize the studio versions (post-revamp). My 2020 ranking will essentially be a pre-contest ranking; except there's no live shows to shift everything around later on. I will also give my qualification predictions.

Semi-Final 1 is pretty easy to predict though – I'd say there's 8 locked qualifiers, and Romania is also pretty likely. And the last spot either goes to Belgium or Australia. Semi-Final 2 will be much more open.

The number of participants stays at 41, with Bulgaria and Ukraine returning after their one-year absences, while Hungary and Montenegro are out.

Sweden: The Mamas - Move John Lundvik's backing singers are now the headliners! But, just like with “Too Late for Love”, all the personality and emotion comes from the performers, and not the robotic, sterile Swedish composition. The Mamas' harmonies are stellar (“oh-OH-oh-OH LIFE”; “DAMN RIGHT!”; “WE'RE MOVING MOUNTAINS!”) And their uplifting, supportive voices express unconditional love. They turn “Move” into a giant group hug. There's 0 negativity here. The song opens with distorted “uh-ah-ooh”s, a calm piano, and a slam. The piano continues with some squeals; then the bass and snaps come in. The pre-chorus skips around (“evEN whEN the RAIN is FALLing”). Then the chorus slam-stops, pulling back into a hum for a moment, before escalating with claps/pounds. There's another pause, then the bangs run wild, with a bunch of “uh ah ooh”s on repeat. The 2nd chorus claps start earlier. The bridge is almost a cappella – with just claps until the organ appears, leading to a “whoa-oh-ah-oh” vocal climax. And the song ends on a closing slam. The hooks and the shout-out loud chorus are effective. The lyrics promise support and assurance when things turn bad. Why? Because their partner does the same. It's alright if we try and fail; we wipe the tears and become stronger. The chorus uses hyperbolic cliches to show devotion (like moving mountains!) The Melfest staging was simple. It mostly used spotlights. I liked when they leaned during “Damn right!” though. And they brought positive energy and great chemistry.

My fave Melfest 2020 entry was, of course, Dotter's “Bulletproof”, which lost by 1 point! I also loved “Kingdom Come”, “Brave”, and “Ballerina” (robbed). “Boys with Emotions” had a nice message too. The rest of the final was kinda underwhelming though. I also completely forgot about “Carpool Karaoke”. 💀

My prediction: 99% (#12 odds/ #12 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 jury winner as well. And considering Sweden's track record from 2011+, this is LOCKED.

Belarus: VAL - Da vidna #StandWithUkraine

Belarus's last non-rejected entry sounded weak at first – the production is too toned-down, especially the “drop”. But it creates a peaceful mood that's kinda mournful and kinda hopeful. The production is very late-2010s electronic. The distorted squeals in the intro are like painful harsh cries. The song also starts with a peaceful piano. The first verse adds soft taps and more distortions, then the snaps and bubbly synths come in. The latter are more apparent at the end of the verse. I also like the rising 'daaaa d-DA-DA' verse melody. The chorus submerges at first with stiff blunt synths and rattling ticks, then the vocals amplify midway, as the beat accelerates into the “drop”, which is this squealing siren. The build-up works for me. Verse 2 keeps the rattling ticks, and the vocals become more intense. And the bridge submerges similarly. In the lyrics, Valeria questions why her mother forced her into a relationship she didn't choose. There's season metaphors – braiding and un-braiding autumn; paths obscured by winter snow. The night is full of secrets and passion. But the song focuses on the dawn, when she'll be free. Hence the peaceful vibe. She also reflects on growing up too fast (a white rose blooming early). The NF performance is fine, but could be more polished. There's twirling hands, hip thrusts, 'okay' hand signs on the eyes, a chain armour thing on Valeria's head, and she gets physically close to the other two members.

My prediction: 25% (#40 odds/ #31 scoreboard app). In such a strong semi-final, this would've been forgotten about. Especially being 2nd in the running order. UNLIKELY.

Australia: Montaigne - Don't Break Me Not even a NF can stop DNA Songs! “Don't Break Me” is an annoying and overproduced song, but at least the lyrics describe a toxic relationship accurately and insightfully. Montaigne's fading romantic feelings are replaced with fear. They feel taken for granted. They've given so much and stretched themselves thin. But, upon the beat switch, they can't take it anymore! They plead “don't break me down”!; because they're made of glass, not elastic! (kind of a silly metaphor). But it seems to fall on deaf ears. Montaigne's partner brings up their own trauma instead hearing them out. Montaigne also says love should be a compromise and equal effort. Only one of them is employed. But Montaigne loves them too much to give up. This song is venting out despair. The first verse moves in anxious cloudy patters and constant guitar pokes, with a few tunnel voices. Then the pre-chorus slams down in this angry, growling, grumbling way that catches me off-guard. But the chorus itself is a let down – it's a boring modern trap-y heavy drum beat, which pauses and sinks back down a couple times. The chorus vocal/melody is really annoying too, and they sing the verses weirdly. Verse #2 starts with a synth warning, before turning trap-y as well. While the bridge is an extended pre-chorus. I don't care for the NF performance either. The camera work and the choreo make me dizzy and Montaigne is dressed like a clown, with a ruffled collar, blue wig, and blush. I guess they're the clown in the relationship. They walk like a marionette at one point. And swing their limbs while being lifted up.

My prediction: 45% (#16 odds/ #14 scoreboard app). They would need to improve the staging and the vocals. It's between Australia and Belgium for the last qualifier spot, and my gut says it's Belgium. BORDERLINE OUT.

North Macedonia: Vasil - You NM's delegation must've been like: “Yay we finally made top 10! Now we don't gotta try anymore!” Because this is the most obvious NQ. “You” is a bland song that doesn't have much going for it. The melody and the instrumental don't grab me enough. There's a long tunnel voice intro (like a distant indecipherable echo), then the bubbling synth boops take over, with a tingly instrument at one point. The pre-chorus brings in the accordion, claps, and a guitar flick sequence. Then the song stops, and the forgettable “drop” hits – which is this grinding motorized bass, with a glossy beat. It also pauses and heightens midway. The “DANCE... WITH YOU” hesitations are a meh hook though. Verse #2 adds a beat to the boops. Chorus #2 starts with a double clap. The bridge returns to the tunnel voice, mixed with helicopter flutters, leading to a long “TOOOOOOOOOOONIGHT” and thundery drums. But the sped-up outro is the only part that gets interesting. The song is too innocuous overall. Its energy is very mild. The lyrics don't have anything interesting to say either. Vasil holds trembling hands with this person. Their eyes are magnetic. He invites them to dance in the moment, because they may never see each other again. They kiss. He wants more. Maybe the staging would involve Vasil dancing with someone. I doubt it would be enough to save it though.

My prediction: 10% (#29 odds/ #37 scoreboard app). Too bland and forgettable. It's also my prediction for last place. NO CHANCE.

Slovenia: Ana Soklič - Voda “Voda” has an epic Balkan Ballad chorus, but I'm left wanting more from the song. The water drip sounds are tacky too, and they detract from the wintry atmosphere. The intro is cinematic, with an icy sharp piano and tense strings that swell up. The verse starts bare, with a slow piano and low frosty pings. Then the strings reemerge and grow. The chorus, by contrast, is explosive and extensive: Ana screams “VOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” alongside trap-y broken metal ticks, more strings, and a drum bang bit. Verse #2 adds subtle taps and wooden echoes. And I love when she loses restrain in the bridge. The chorus melody works for me; the big vocals and strings elevate it. But this is a slow-moving song and the climax (the bridge) happens too late. The lyrics, meanwhile, revolve around a water metaphor. Ana pushes the subject to move on to new times and places; to not stop on the long journey; to go beyond light and belief. She remarks that the longest path is turning words into action. And that there's a broken chair waiting for a child (huh?) In the chorus, she affirms that the gushing water won't affect them – she'll stick with them through the storm. The water is the root of her endless unease. I don't really understand the verses though. There isn't much to say about the EMA performance, but there must've been a revamp. The first verse is longer, the production is slightly different, and the song just... ends before the bridge. I like the studio version better.

My prediction: 15% (#41 odds/ #39 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception. Maybe the juries praise her vocals, but I doubt the televote would compensate enough. NO CHANCE.

Lithuania: The Roop - On Fire I don't think this would've won, but it could've been Lithuania's first top 5. It's a very catchy song and the production has a cool vibe. The music starts with spread-out piano slams, followed by finger snaps, leading to a shimmer-stop on “ooh-ooh-ooh”. Then the Milky Chance “Stolen Dance”-like beat takes over – with wobbly bass burps, guitar pokes, and scissor slices. The song's rhythm chugs and bobs up-and-down from here-on-out. The music reduces to just bass burps before the “drop”, then the “drop” adds this addictive squealing siren to the mix (like a firetruck?) Verse #2 pulls back to just guitar and ticks; before the beat returns for the “la la la la”s, heightening midway. And the bridge cuts back to the bass again. It's a very murky atmosphere; like a room filled with smoke, but not in a dangerous way. I love the song's smooth vibe and propulsive rhythm. The “la la la la”s and “THE HEAT IS GETTING HIGHER” hooks are great too. That chorus sounds like rising heat. In the lyrics, Vaidotas defies being told he's too old for personal growth. He's not a stone, he's free to change and move. He knows he's strong enough to achieve this. It took him a while to take action but no one can stop him now. The fire represents his desire and passion. The PiN staging is definitely memorable, with the magnifying glasses, mirrored split-screens, wild arm swings, and fingers behind his head. The choreo is very wacky and he has quirky stage presence. But it isn't cringe. He's just having fun with it.

My prediction: 99% (#2 odds/ #1 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 televote winner too. Also one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020, so it's LOCKED.

Ireland: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life This song kinda sounds like Kelly Clarkson's “Stronger”. The dance-pop production takes me back to 2011. Does that make it dated or nostalgic? Either way, the highly energetic, shout-out-loud chorus is a bop. I dislike the “NA NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY” schoolyard taunt though. Lesley is taunting the people who thought she wouldn't make it. No one believed in her, but she pulled it off by herself. The “I'm not a puppet on a string” line refutes the 1967 winner. She was known for breaking rules. She was expected to live a normal life. She took their advice to be blunt, then was criticized for it. But she doesn't care what they say because they don't matter. The chorus asserts that it's her life. And the song ends with “I don't care what you say”. The message is about being yourself to reach your dreams. The music starts with incessant, rapid, impatient nudges that keep powering down. The persistent kicks are added in next. Then the buzzy synths and the clappy beat heighten the pre-chorus. While the chorus bulldozes through as the bass-line roars and radiates. That chorus flows like a dam bursting open. It's a giant release of energy. I love when that bass-line hits too. Verse #2 is also buzzy. The second chorus is doubled, and the energy continues through the bridge, letting things run freely. Then the bridge submerges, leading to a clapping breakdown with background voices, before resuming the energy. The song's vibe is like celebrating her life.

My prediction: 35% (#21 odds/ #28 scoreboard app). Ireland's 2014+ track record isn't great, and I just don't see the public prioritizing their votes for this. The staging would need to match the song's energy, and not be as complicated as the “Maps” staging. UNLIKELY.

Russia: Little Big - Uno #StandWithUkraine

I first knew about Little Big when my friend showed me the “Skibidi” video. “Uno” isn't as weird as that, but their style of humour fits Eurovision perfectly for a joke entry. There's some nonsense lyrics, like the “dummy dummy” / “yummy yummy” rhymes and the Spanish counting that skips 3 for some reason. And Ilya seduces Sonya in this creepy voice. He's waiting for her to be ready for “some action” (sex). She needs another drink first (“margarita” and “señorita” adds even more Spanish!) But she's down for it after midnight, calling him charming and funny. He also says “come to daddy”... So, the intro is a watery soap opera organ. Then the piano start/stops in a 'DUN... da-DA da-DA-da... DUN' pattern (with bass added to the middle part), alongside raindrop hand drums and twisting sounds. The pauses steer the verses, then the pre-chorus beat gets things moving. There's a desk bell, and the chorus squeaks along, with a squealing rave synth break afterwards. And a tongue pop in the middle. Verse #2 throws in some “Hah!” pauses. And the bridge vocal sounds like a radio speaker. This is a catchy song – with the “uno-uno-uno” repetitions, and the way Sonya comes in for the pre-chorus and last chorus line. But the production is kinda ugly, the chorus is basic, and the vocals aren't meant to be pleasant. The music video is exactly what I imagined the staging to look like: a memorable dance sequence (the leg crossings), weirdly intimidating facial expressions, and a random dude dancing in workout gear.

My prediction: 99% (#5 odds/ #6 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 televote winner too. It's the most viewed video on the Eurovision YouTube channel. It's one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020. And Russia is always a televote magnet. LOCKED.

Belgium: Hooverphonic - Release Me Belgium selects a band that's been charting there for 20+ years. And that experience shows in the professionally crafted instrumental. It starts with a repeating, pounding, agonized piano note, like a migraine. Then the drums and psychedelic guitar splashes get things moving, with some metal clicks. Then the orchestral strings raise the chorus in a expansive, cinematic way. The strings later continue through the bridge. And the song ends once the string tension snaps off. It's a nice song, but a slow-moving one, and Luka's vocal is too sleep-inducing. She lacks enough emotional punch for me. She almost sounds bored? And it becomes a dreary ballad. In the lyrics, Luka keeps asking her lover over and over again to release her, because they won't do it. The song even opens with the words “Release Me”. She doesn't want to talk it out. She already knows what they'll say (probably that they still love her), and it won't fix things. The lying, the pain. The relationship is already over in her mind. It's not right to make her stay. But they hold the power to end it, because she's stuck in this dangerous need of them. She also calls it a “losing game” (an “Arcade” reference?) And the chorus concludes with the old saying “If you love me, let me go”. The second verse and the bridge just repeat the first verse. Her voice makes the situation sound bleak. I mostly just like the strings in this one.

My prediction: 50% (#17 odds/ #22 scoreboard app). I think the juries would've pushed this through, but it could've been another Sennek situation. Especially if the staging is empty. “The Wrong Place” was also borderline, although with a different vocalist. BORDERLINE IN.

Malta: Destiny - All of My Love “Like a river... runnin'... WILD!” The 2015 JESC winner graduates to adult Eurovision! Destiny's vocals are impressive here, especially during the bridge, which is a spiritual awakening. The lyrics could be interpreted as religious, but they don't have to be. She thought praying was useless because she'd never find her path. She felt “no good” and misunderstood. But now everything's changed. This person's love has healed and freed Destiny, so she gives her love back in return. The song is basically a big 'thank you'. She keeps hoping they won't let her down though, showing doubt still exists. But she now realizes their positive validation was right. The song's intro is divine, with a church organ and low-pitched “ah-uh-oh”s. Then the first verse is bare with spread-out piano slams, while Destiny's voice overpowers the isolated, big open space. The finger snaps come next. Then the chorus unleashes an effective clapping rhythm that reminds of me Lumidee / Wayne Wonder / “Pon de Replay”. It's like a bird flapping its wings. The chorus bass-line has a very consuming atmosphere too; it's like the power of universe embracing you. It heightens in the post-chorus. The second verse production gets excited. The song reduces back to piano/snaps before the second chorus. And the bridge is nearly a cappella, save for the claps, with the backing choir leading to Destiny's big note climax. The atmosphere is powerful here. I really love the music video too.

My prediction: 99% (#8 odds/ #8 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 jury winner as well. I can't see it being a televote NQ either. LOCKED.

Croatia: Damir Kedžo - Divlji vjetre Well, this is a generic Balkan Ballad. I really dislike the key change as well (those backing vocals…) And I don't like how the instrumental keeps cutting off and switching up. It doesn't flow right. The song opens with a piano buzzer and a slice. Then the frosty piano stays low, with a windy sound and an orchestral jerk in the middle. The smooth strings arrive next. Then it's the dramatic thunder drums, as the pre-chorus escalates. There's a pause, a piano hold, and another pause. Then the smooth strings create a beautiful chorus, with more thunder drums poking through. There's a few isolated kicks halfway, then the percussion pridefully marches ahead. The backing choir sings a line after the chorus. Verse #2 continues the prideful steps and thunder drums. Chorus #2 skips all the build-up. And the song ends on a dramatic slam. The tugging, valiant motion is alright, but nothing special. In the lyrics, Damir still loves his ex, even after they've completely moved on. He wants to move on too, but he can't. It seemed like they were bound forever. So he asks the “Wild Wind” to leave him alone, before he's not himself anymore. He also asks it to bring “withered leaves” and to rain tears on the autumn colours. The lyrics use lots of nature metaphors. “Rip the branches uncontrollably” suggests a messy break-up. There's not much say about the Dora performance. He sings well and the LED lights flash during the thunder drums.

My prediction: 30% (#39 odds/ #36 scoreboard app). I don't think it stands out enough to qualify. UNLIKELY.

Azerbaijan: Efendi - Cleopatra This song is a wild ride. First, Efendi screams “AHHHHHH” across the land. Then the hazy eastern guitar gives a cultural feel. The forceful kicks come next. Then the distressed pre-chorus moves smoother, as the backing cushions it. But the next sequence is SO random: the song stops upon “sounds... like... this”, there's a humming Buddhist mantra on loop, another “AHHHH”, a “LIKE CLEOPATRA!” army command, and a bunch of “LA LA LA”s with room-shaking kicks. She also rolls her R's on “like CleopatRRRa”. Next, verse #2 adds continuous “hey!” slices. An electric guitar starts the next pre-chorus. The bridge goes into machine beeps, more kicks, and stutters; before reducing to a clappy breakdown, a “shhh!”, and then the outro goes into hyper speed. The lyrics are funny too, even with the empowerment message. Efendi boldly compares herself to Cleopatra. They're both queens betrayed by lovers. Both “part goddess, part temptress”. And both “straight or gay or in between” apparently. Efendi's ex left is like Mark Antony, and she clarifies which Marc Anthony lol. You know, “Cleo's gigolo”! No one intervened and she wasn't herself anymore. But now she's back with a vengeance after rediscovering her inner voice – which is that mantra. Cleopatra is her idol I guess. This song is ridiculous, but somehow it works. It's insanely catchy and addictive. Efendi has fun with it while still being a fierce, confident bad-ass. She's in total control of the song; and her life now! And the production goes hard during the “LA LA LA” parts. I love the outro too.

My prediction: 85% (#9 odds/ #9 scoreboard app). Probably a big televote fave but lower with the juries. I'm curious on how they would've staged this. LOCKED.

Cyprus: Sandro - Running Yeah, this is a Meduza copycat, but “Running” is a solid EDM track on its own. The dark, droopy, bass-heavy production traps Sandro in. His vocals aren't the best, but he sounds tormented and tortured; like he's suffering. The song starts with some bass nudges putting pressure on him, alongside a subtle, tense, stationary whistle. Meanwhile, there's deep “BAWP” interruptions throughout the song. The finger snaps come next. Then the song starts moving, and the verse shakes and stops at the end. That quiet part represents how he can't see anymore. The synth drips steadily emerge afterwards, and the shakes and cymbal crashes escalate into the “drop”, which is a bunch of “mmhmm aha”s and dark EDM bass. The drop also starts with a triple clap. Chorus #2 adds snaps to the mix. But the bridge is my fave part, where Sandro's voice jumps out as a desperate cry for help. The beat then stops for a moody string moment, symbolizing when he falls down. The song picks itself back up and ends with strings again. He says “I don't wanna fall again” many times (like collapsing from running), but the final line changes to “I'm NOT gonna fall again”, showing a will to change. Basically, Sandro is tired of running from his mental health, but it's a habit he can't break. He chooses to be alone instead of talking to someone. And he ignores phone calls and door knocks. I like the “BAWP”s and the atmosphere, even if it's a bit monotone. The faster parts represent his running.

My prediction: 40% (#32 odds/ #29 scoreboard app). With the right staging, I could see this being a shock qualifier, but it also depends on his live vocals. BORDERLINE OUT.

Norway: Ulrikke - Attention This is an incredible power ballad. The intro is majestic, with the tense and rising strings (+ piano). After the string tension breaks, there's a series of vibrations, snaps, and drum pats, which move at a patient and careful pace. I also like how she says “attennnTION”. Her voice rises on “I-uh-I-uh-I”, as the piano returns. Then the chorus halts everything, as she screams “SO WHY...” alongside gradual piano and drum booms. There's a rising “DO-oo-OO” hook too. The first chorus is just a tease though. Verse #2 is less minimal and adds background voices. There's some impatient steps, then chorus #2 is MASSIVE and EXPLOSIVE. Ulrikke's huge vocals and the low backing chants really power it. That chorus demands attention. The bridge is a fragile moment. Then more impatient steps + an “OHHHH” build into the finale. So, Ulrikke is desperate for this person's attention, but I get the sense she doesn't like this side of herself. The lyrics show self-awareness. She does crazy, foolish things to make them notice her. She wouldn't normally exhibit these behaviours. She doesn't have time for her friend anymore. But this person is oblivious to her signals. The explosive chorus is when Ulrikke lets her frustration out; she also questions why she changes herself to please someone else. Then, in the bridge, she tries to call it quits, feeling humiliated on the dance floor. On the MGP stage, she wears a sparkly dress next to a violinist and a cellist, and there's a fire rain climax. That final chorus transition is so good.

My prediction: 99% (#11 odds/ #5 scoreboard app). It's the type of ballad that appeals to both juries and televoters. Probably top 10 in the Grand Final too. LOCKED.

Israel: Eden Alene - Feker Libi This >>> “Toy” and “Home”. “Feker Libi” is a celebration of loving someone from another culture without shame. The music showcases this multicultural union by constantly switching the language and instrumental to different parts of the world! In a cohesive way too. Interestingly, 2019 interval act Idan Raichel helped write this. It starts in tropical Ethiopia, with a lamellophone, a couple reedy sounds, and Amharic lyrics expressing Eden's love. Then the song suddenly erupts into “YALLA-LA” shouts, xylophone boops, and commanding drum bangs, as the synth powers up. There's a water drip, then the verses follow horse-galloping ticks and drum wobbles. The pre-chorus adds emphatic claps, leading to a slapping motion on the made-up language part (“maka lakuma”), which I like. Then the European house beat relieves the tension. There's a series of knocks, then the instrumental turns Middle Eastern (I love how this part approaches you), as she says love terms in Amharic, Arabic and Hebrew. The percussion also turns chaotic towards the end, although the song finishes on a quieter note. The lyrics don't say a lot - Eden asks Incan goddess Pachamama to show the way. She says close your eyes and feel the “melodía” (so there's Spanish as well). And that tonight is a “colour party”! But I love the positive energy here. The NF stage includes a lamellophone player, dancers dressed in yellow, foreign scripts on the LED, and camera jerks on the drum bangs. The smiles and Eden's charisma are great.

My prediction: 90% (#18 odds/ #16 scoreboard app). Probably somewhere between 9th-13th in the Grand Final. LOCKED.

Romania: Roxen - Alcohol You I can understand the hype - Roxen's distinct vocal contains raw emotion. They sound like a trembling, broken, sobbing mess. They scream in agony during the last chorus. And they can't finish the “from the bottom of my…” line. But the “Alcohol You”/“I'll call you” pun and the “fake news” lyric are cringe. And the song is kinda pretentious? I like the “I need you but it hurts/To feel like I deserve/Your weapons” line though. I also like the pre-chorus build-up, and the verses sound like a big, dark, empty space. But the chorus pause annoys me. The song is about drunk calling an ex, and how that's probably a bad idea. The colourful morning sunrise makes Roxen squint. They shame their “stupid words”. They drank bittersweet alcohol to relive the memories. They ignore their friends' warnings. They're too weak to acknowledge their ex's bad qualities. And they read between the lines of their ex's lies(?) The last line also switches to “I will call you when I'm strong”, showing a will to change. The first verse follows a 'dun-DUN-DUN-DUN' 4-note piano pattern, with a howling intro and some vocal echoes. There's a thunder roll, then the pre-chorus loudly echo-clacks, as the strings are there until the tension breaks. The chorus is a vulnerable moment - it pauses for the song title; then a heartbeat, a distorted whimper, a metal tick rattle follows. Then some escalating drums. Verse #2 brings the cello, drum patters, and forceful splashes. Chorus #2 starts very shaky. And the song ends with more thunder booms and strings. In the NF, Roxen stares at themselves on the LED. Edit: this is starting to click now.

My prediction: 65% (#7 odds/ #11 scoreboard app). If they aren't running around like “Amnesia”, this will probably qualify, but I can see it being the “Bones” of 2020, where the results don't quite match the hype. It's also too similar to the most recent Eurovision winner. LIKELY.

Ukraine: Go_A - Solovey “Shum” >>> this. Kateryna's “White Voice” singing is irritating in “Solovey”; especially the chorus. The melody and the flute are rather annoying too, but I like some aspects of the electronic production. After the intro twists into view, Ihor's bouncy flute acts as a birdsong/the sound of nature (since the title means “Nightingale”), while the thunder-slam drums are spread out to be dramatic. Next, the verse hums, the snaps arrive, the slams return, and the electronic beat gets things moving partway. The song halts upon the chorus, which also hums before the rubbery drums hit. There's a flute break afterwards, where the beat moves like waves; and heightens midway with claps and broken metal ticks. Verse #2 starts growl-y and the claps come back midway. There's a steam leak, where the vocals muffle. The metal ticks set up chorus #2, which doesn't halt. And the outro slows down into roaring electric guitars, which I find clashing. The lyrics tell a story about Katrusya and Vanyusha, and repeat a lot of phrases. She goes to the valley to pick flowers, while he professes his love to her. But they can only be together until mother finds out. If Kat knew about this, she wouldn't have gotten involved. The chorus pleads the nightingale to not sing so early, since she can't handle happiness right now. The Vidbir version (before the revamp) sounds more pleasant. The stage includes a flutist and a DJ, who also play the drums, while Kateryna wears that black and red thing. There's also guitar sparks at the end. But I just cannot get past the abrasive sound of this song.

My prediction: 85% (#25 odds/ #13 scoreboard app). It's more polarizing than “Shum”, but Ukraine aren't breaking their qualification streak with this lol. Probably more of a televote fave though. LOCKED.

Predictions recap... Locked: Lithuania, Sweden, Russia, Norway, Malta, Israel, Azerbaijan, Ukraine Likely: Romania Borderline in: Belgium Borderline out: Australia, Cyprus Unlikely: Ireland, Croatia, Belarus No chance: Slovenia, North Macedonia

SF1 Winner: Sweden or Lithuania Jury winner: Sweden or Malta Televote winner: Lithuania or Russia Last place: North Macedonia

My Ranking:

01. Norway: Ulrikke - Attention 02. Israel: Eden Alene - Feker Libi 03. Lithuania: The Roop - On Fire 04. Azerbaijan: Efendi - Cleopatra 05. Malta: Destiny - All of My Love 06. Sweden: The Mamas - Move 07. Cyprus: Sandro - Running 08. Romania: Roxen - Alcohol You 09. Ireland: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life 10. Russia: Little Big - Uno

11. Belarus: VAL - Da vidna 12. Belgium: Hooverphonic - Release Me 13. Slovenia: Ana Soklič - Voda 14. Croatia: Damir Kedžo - Divlji vjetre 15. Australia: Montaigne - Don't Break Me 16. North Macedonia: Vasil - You 17. Ukraine: Go_A - Solovey

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #eurovision review #eurovision 2020

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amberjazmyn · 10 months

Text

nicky byrne one-shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - byrne squared (part two of so much blood)

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - fluff, mentions of miscarriage, infertility, hospital, happy tears, pregnancy, happy ending

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - a couple of months after her miscarriage, it was found out that alessandra byrne, nicky byrne's wife, was pregnant again and was finally able to give her husband nicky the one thing he's always wanted

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - praise the lord, this is an original one-shot that has not been reused and recycled thank god. i already knew i wanted to do part two of "so much blood" so i am so glad i got to. this will be a lot happier than the first part but the miscarriage will be talked about in an italicised flashback by an instagram post posted by alessandra even though it didn't exist in 2007, when nicky's twins, rocco and jay were born, pretend it did. and like part one, this will be in lowercase. enjoy my lovely dovelies.

masterlist

- - -

liked by nickybyrneinsta, caileano, markusmoments, stormykeating, jodialbert and 889k others

alessandrabyrne all my life, i knew i wanted to be a mother and that my husband wanted to be a father. so, we started trying but no matter how hard we tried, we always had a negative result which always broke our hearts because we thought we were doing something wrong and constantly wondering why we were never getting pregnant. and then, out of sheer desperation, we stopped actively trying to get pregnant and one day, finally, after what felt like we had been trying forever, the one time we weren't actively trying, there was a positive pregnancy test. and we were so excited, even though we still grieved over the losses of all the negatives, we were just glad that i could actually get pregnant to give nicky and me our first ever baby and it was all truly going to plan and both baby and me were healthy as could be. that was until, at five months, heartbreaking, during a westlife concert during their number one's tour, i miscarried at the london o2 show and lost what would have been me and nicky's little baby girl. no one can prepare you for losing a baby but also a baby that was the only positive after so many negatives just breaks you even more. i wish i could explain how disgusted i felt in knowing that i couldn't even give my husband and i the singular thing that we had both wanted our entire lives. for ages, i hated myself because my body couldn't do the one thing it was supposed to do. and for so long, all i could do was apologise to nicky because he didn't deserve to lose his baby. he didn't deserve to have his wife miscarrying what was going to be his beautiful baby girl. nicky, babe, even though i've constantly been saying it, i don't think i'll ever be able to stop saying it until i am able to give you our gorgeous baby girl so, again, i am so, so incredibly sorry that i couldn't give you what you so desperately want in your life. i am so sorry i can't give you your little princess or even a little prince but, in saying that, i'll never give up, i won't stop trying until i can give us our little princess or little prince!

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nickybyrneinsta oh aless, you don't need to apologise! it's not your fault babe! you need to stop apologising!

alessandrabyrne nickybyrneinsta i love you nicko. it was an honour to even carry baby byrne for those short five months and i hope next time i'll carry it all the way to term for us

caileano when are you going to stop apologising, alessandra? it's not your fault and it never will be. nicky is not mad at you and he never could be!

alessandrabyrne caileano i love you cailean. and you nor mark will ever owe me, noah, arlo, michaela and noelle an apology, ever! don't even try to apologise because you and mark are not at fault either

markusmoments as always, my heart breaks over this. but one day i promise you'll give you and nicky a beautiful baby, just don't stop trying alessandra

alessandrabyrne markusmoments so does mine, mark. and thank you, i haven't stopped trying as i am determined as hell to have this baby and hand it over to nicko

stormykeating my heart aches over this! but it heals because of how courageous and strong you are to even talk about it when it's something that many women don't talk about! ro and i send all our love, hugs and kisses to you and nicky

alessandrabyrne stormykeating thank you for the kind words stormy, i love you and ronan so much, your guys' support has been amazing!

jodialbert you are superwoman, alessandra! thank you for speaking up about this even though it's difficult, you'll help a lot of women out there by posting about this my darling

alessandrabyrne jodialbert oh stop it, jodi! but, thank you, i was at first hesitant but quickly realised that if i do talk about it, it'll be a lot more helpful than just ignoring it and not talking about it!

just as nicky byrne, alessandra byrne's husband predicted and maybe even manifested, two weeks after posting about the miscarriage of her and nicky's baby, alessandra found out that after she and nicky really stopped trying that she was once again pregnant with her and nicky's baby. and it was predicted that baby byrne was going to be due in june of 2007. however, for the safety and consolation of the byrne's, they didn't announce the pregnancy until their ireland show when nicky mentioned that, once again, he and alessandra were going to become pregnant and thanked his wife. and then after that, alessandra announced it with some photos of her through a series of pregnancy bumpdates to her blog with the sweetest caption. but that was until after nicky had announced it on stage so let's just say it was just happy news on top of happy news after wht was such devastation for alessandra and nicky.

ireland show

"---good evening ireland!" nicky announces after the band sings their 2003 record of the year hit, mandy as the crowd cheers

"this is westlife's the love tour! we are so excited to back on stage in front of all of you guys, umm, the love tour is here and we are here to celebrate westlife so, thank you guys so much and, i just have to say that...i'm about to become a father..." nicky pauses as the crowd screams and cheers

"thank you... it's been a tough time since my wife, alessandra sadly miscarried late last year so, we're excited to announce that not only are we pregnant but we are pregnant with twins..." the crowd screams even more as he then hears his bandmates, kian, shane and mark cheer and applaud, making nicky laugh as well as alessandra and the rest of the wives and spouses who were watching from the barricades in front of the stage

"...so, umm, that's some exciting news that i've kind of been getting really impatient about revealing..." nicky gets cut off by his bandmates' cheering again, making him laugh as he continues

"...yeah, we wanted to keep this as secretive as we possibly could, alessandra and i and, we're just so excited to meet our babies!" nicky smiled tearfully as a shy chuckle left his mouth

"umm, anyway, moving forward, this next song is if i let you go all the way back to the beginning of westlife--" nicky then continues as he introduces the next song after dedicating the song to alessandra

alessandra couldn't help but tear up as she watched her husband get so excited to announce that this time, he was really going to become a father and that she was going to be a mother after thinking they weren't going to be able to be parents.

then, she cried even more when nicky sang to her during his verse, ultimately thanking her, his wife, for making his one true wish finally come true. shane, kian and mark then interacted with her during the song and then after a couple more songs, it was a break in between quick changes and they got to give a quick set of hugs and kisses to alessandra and the two baby byrnes.

by the time the concert finished, it seemed as though everyone on social media and alessandra's blog were talking about the fact that alessandra and nicky were becoming parents again after the miscarriage of their first one. now, all the fans were waiting for was actual confirmation by alessandra so, alessandra gave her fans and the westlife fans what they were waiting for and did confirm that she was pregnant with her and nicky's twins.

liked by nickybyrneinsta, caileano, jodialbert, kianegan, markusmoments, shanefilanofficial, gillianfilansligo, rokeating and 999k others

alessandrabyrne it's with the greatest plasure and privilege to announce that, after the on-stage announcement at the ireland westlife gig tonight from my husband nicky that i am indeed pregnant with nicky and i's twins. it was as though my husband had either manifested it or just knew that a few months after posting about the miscarriage of our first pregnancy, i fell pregnant again and was a lot further along than originally thought. so, i am so very pleased to announce that baby byrne squared should be ready to pop out sometime around june. it devastated me, as i documented, that i miscarried what would have been me and nicky's first baby but finding out i was pregnant again after not actively trying that i couldn't believe how blessed i was to be able to get a second chance at making me and my husband's dream come true. i love you so bloody much nicko that, it's the greatest privilege to be able to give you and me twin babies and it's been the best thing i've ever genuinely done in my life and it's all i've ever wanted in my life and that's to see you happy and to have our little family together of our own. the countdown for baby byrne squared is now on!

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nickybyrneinsta jesus christ, alessandra, i love you so much! watching you this entire time you've carried baby byrne squared has been astounding, you are truly a pro at this! i cannot wait for the day we meet them!

alessandrabyrne nickybyrneinsta i love you even more nicko! and thank you, you're too kind, if i'm a pro, what are you because you've also been spectacular as well! and i can't wait either, it's going to be the best day ever!

caileano ahh, it's getting so close! it feels like we can just touch baby byrne squared due date and they'll be here soon!

alessandrabyrne caileano i know right? it's going to fly by so quickly and then boom, you and marky will be uncles to two beautiful little twins forever and ever!

jodialbert this post has made me so happy! seeing nicky get to announce, again, to a crowd of many that he's becoming a father but also to twins was for sure a moment that'll be unforgettable

alessandrabyrne jodialbert oh tell me about it! i wanted to post it before nicky announced it but i decided to wait since i wanted him to announce it before anyone else could. and i know, i was bawling my eyes out when he announced it, especially when i noticed the reactions of kian, nicky and shane behind him!

kianegan i still cannot believe nicky waited until the show tonight to tell us that you're having twins!

alessandrabyrne kianegan you're telling me?! i thought you guys already knew! which is probably why i started bawling my eyes out when i saw your guys' reactions on stage lol

markusmoments not gonna lie, i was a little bit stunned and maybe teary-eyed when nicky announced you guys were having twins

alessandrabyrne markusmoments so was i! i genuinely thought he had already told you three!

shanefilanofficial wow, still not over the fact you and nicky will be parents to twins!

alessandrabyrne shanefilanofficial so am i and i'm carrying the twins for us!

gillianfilansligo you and nicky will be the best parents in the entire world!

alessandrabyrne gillianfilansligo here here gillian! i agree!

rokeating oh this is just spectacular news! i'm so glad you didn't give up trying!

alessandrabyrne rokeating oh, thank you so much ronan! you're too sweet! me, nicky and the unborn twins send all our love to you and stormy xx

then, surprising absolutely everyone, six weeks earlier then their due date, twin boys rocco bertie and jay nicky byrne were born on the 20th of april. in holles street dublin hospital via c-section, alessandra gave birth to the twins. then, it wasn't until very recently that the new parents got to bring their babies home due to how small they were, having to stay in incubators for four to five weeks to get to the correct healthy weight to leave the hospital.

to announce the arrival of rocco and jay, fans waited until the parents brought rocco and jay home before they got to see the post of the happy parents with their twin boys.

liked by alessandrabyrne, jodialbert, kianegan and 95,765 others

nickybyrneinsta rocco and jay byrne. mum and boys are happy and healthy x

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alessandrabyrne the sweetest little boys in the world!

jodialbert i feel like christmas came early! i love you four so much 💙💕💙

nickybyrnefan congratulations nicky and alessandra! rocco and jay are gorgeous

username congratulations nicky and alessandra! and congratulations to your wife for healthily delivering her 💕

liked by nickybyrneinsta, shanefilanofficial, gillianfilansligo, kianegan and 992,34k others

alessandrabyrne born six weeks early, here they are everyone, little boys rocco and jay was born safe and sound. it may have been a tough delivery but the relief nicko and i had when we saw our two little boys at the end of it was all that mattered! rocco and jay, daddy and mummy love you so much! welcome to the byrne family, you'll love it!

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nickybyrneinsta our gorgeous boys, aless! we have our little family now!

shanefilanofficial oh aren't they just gorgeous little things! congratulations nicky and alessandra!

kianegan oh, what gorgeous boys they are! they are already so loved! congratulations nicky and alessandra, they are beautiful!

username congratulations alessandra and nicky! rocco and jay are just gorgeous!

jodialbert rocco and jay are going to be the most gorgeous and loved little boys in the world!

baby rocco and jay were born safe and sound... nicky got his one true wish to come true... he has finally got his missing piece... he's the father to an already beautiful rocco and jay with his wife alessandra.

- - -

this was fun to make after the depressing first part haha! also, i know the timeline may have been messy even though it was during the 2007 tour when georgina (nicky's actual wife) had her water's breaking but i just know they were in ireland when it happened. anyway, i hope you enjoyed this!

ok ily bye xx

wc; 2697

#westlife #nicky byrne #kian egan #shane filan #mark feehily #fluff #byrne squared

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sophapillar · 1 year

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Void Journal

Looking at my past posts its interesting. I remember feeling all of those feelings so intensely yet now it's a different girl. Two girls that are running through my brain so vividly but also barely there. One girl I've known for over two years. She has made me annoyed jokingly more times than I can count but still to this day makes me happy from the smallest of things. But sometimes I have this nagging feeling that she doesn't care about me. I know that it's just my insecurities. Of not feeling good enough. Most days I can tell myself that it is nothing but when she ignores me or something else minor the insecurity feeds heavily. Major difference from last time is that I went to therapy (not actively going because expensive but oh well) and now I can be very profound on my mental state so I'll start applying it as I can. See right there I was about to frame it negatively but I didn't, go me. Right back on track the girls on my mind. The girl I've known for longer is mostly fruity but has no labels currently. She is amazing and is part of my everyday and that's exactly why I can't tell her about my feelings. For a while she was all I thought about. We went on a trip with some friends and stayed in a room together and I wished I had asked to cuddle then. I say that because she has a boyfriend and I know friends can cuddle but now it feels like I can't ask that. It also feels like if she brings her boyfriend I'm going to drown my sorrows in the alcohol we'll have and kiss a friend again. For a bit it was just me being all happy about my feelings for her after the trip. Just flirting with her because we always did and then jealousy struck. I get very jealous and it gets annoying to me. I got jealous because she found it so effortless to flirt with our friend and we all knew it was nothing but I was green in the face because it felt like I couldn't flirt with her out in the open like that. Because it feels like it means more or more serious if I do since I'm an out lesbian. I distanced myself and then she met her now boyfriend. he became a part of the friend group and I care about him, I know that. I just find him so damn annoying. The second girl, and I know it's ridiculous, I knew for a weekend. Kait. She was nice and her laugh was contagious. Her winks and smiles like I was the only one there made my heart flutter. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to get her number that first day but I wasn't able to. We didn't work the same place on day two but I saw her on day three for a passing second. I had wished I just asked for her number there but it wasn't practical. I didn't see her at all from then and I kicked myself for not doing so. I know that this is suspicious but I looked up her name a ton on facebook until I found her. I took the shot and messaged her. it worked! we talked for a bit and the conversation was good. Then she stopped. I thought it was something I said. it could have. she never said anything from then. I feel like I tried so hard to make it work, to try with her since she was the only girl I felt so strongly for after V (girl above). I was trying to push this and progress to something more so my feelings could go away. It felt like I saw a flicker of promising light and all of the movement and exertion caused the light to to fizzle out. Maybe the girl just didn't want to talk anymore and that was it. That's fine for her now I'm just here trying to figure out how to feel. What to feel. And as I'm typing this all out V is in my ear being sweet by doing absolutely nothing. I feel like I need to go out and meet a girl in the real world and go from there but I don't feel ready. In any way really. But I'm working on it. I'm slowly making my new space feel good and like I can grown in it. Also so I can start being a writer and director for film and tv. I'll see this blog in another year or unless there is something I need to say into the void.

#want no one to see this damn post #its for the void #and for my feelings dammit

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6okuto · 2 years

Text

— random date blurbs

gn!reader | hinata, atsumu, kageyama, bokuto, kuroo, suna

crawls in from the depths of my hiatus. cracks open the door. it squeaks so loud i wonder if i should leave. heyyy. also this new post editor....idk if it's just me having funky problems but i'm going to bark at tumblr

HINATA cheers with his arms raised as he watches his bowling ball knock down all the pins for the first time that afternoon. "babe! babe, i did it! oh my god. thank god," he falls onto the seat next to you, his head falling onto your shoulder. he had told everyone that if he didn't do well bowling that he'd buy them food, and it hadn't been looking good until now. you grin, knowing his plight, "good job, sho!" he mumbles a thank you against your shoulder before groaning, "i need to do that again, don't i?" laughing a little, you pat his head, "yeah. but it's fine! it's fine. if you can do all of those volleyball drills and deal with kageyama then you can definitely get a few more strikes." shoyo's head shoots up quickly enough to startle you as he looks over. there's a new sense of determination in his eyes that only he can ever get, "yeah! you're right. i'll just imagine kageyama's taunting me or something." before you can question his method of choice, he gets up to go again. "sho, you know it's my turn, right?"

ATSUMU's tongue sticks out a little as he reads the instructions again for the lego flowers in front of you. "tsum, are you good?" you try to stifle your laugh at the amount of focus he has, but it doesn't seem like he even notices. "why don't they put words on these things?" "it's lego, tsumu. aren't like, kids supposed to make these?" he groans a little before looking back at the pieces in front of him and squinting, "why are we doing this?" you snort but reply casually, "because they're pretty, obviously." atsumu only gasps a little in surprise as he picks up the flower he was working on, seemingly with a new sense of understanding. "holy shit, i got it! wait, wait, babe. hold the others one," he starts gesturing for you to pick up the bouquet growing beside you. he hands his to you with a surprising gentleness and grins as you hold your creations. "do i look nice?" "what? of course ya do. even better than usual. stay right there, 'm gonna take picture and post it."

KAGEYAMA feels like melting into the grass as you furiously try to apologize, unable to stop laughing. the question hangs in the air—"is it…a giraffe?" it's suffice to say a giraffe was not what he had tried to paint. "i told you i'm not good at art," he pouts and averts his gaze. you can see a faint blush on his cheeks, and maybe if it weren't for the situation at hand, you'd tell him he looks pretty with the sun and wind blowing his hair. but you wave your hands and shake your head at his negativity, "no, no, tobio, it's good!" he shoots a look your way and you return your own, "seriously, it is. i know you don't do this a lot. it's really nice, i promise." tobio lets out a breath, never mad in the first place, just a little embarrassed. he looks down at his mini canvas you had bought at the dollar store. his brows furrow and his voice comes out confused (maybe pleading), "seriously where did you get a giraffe from?"

BOKUTO glances at the mug he's painting then at yours, "babe, can we use each other's mugs when we take them home?" you look up at him curiously, "hm? yeah, of course. why?" "i like yours and i wanna see you using mine. see? i put our initials with a heart." he turns his so you can see it among other things collaged on his design. you smile brightly and turn your own so he can see you had done something similar. "oh! you did it too? baby," kotaro pouts affectionately. "if i didn't have stuff on my hands i'd grab your face and kiss you." "please don't get paint on my face,"—your lips twitch into a smile as you look down at his mug again—"your mug really is cute. are you sure you wanna share it with me?" it was a teasing remark but kotaro almost looks offended at the question, "what? of course i do. i wanna share all my stuff with you." he goes back to looking over his creation at the thought and hums, "do you think i'd be able to paint us on here?"

KUROO poses in the mirror in attempts to make you ruin your face mask. "tetsuro, i swear to god," you manage to say. he had been stressed for weeks and you made him promise to have a "spa day" tonight. "babe, i think we should do this more often." you playfully glare at him in the mirror, "says the volleyball captain who's been overworking himself." tetsuro only sighs dramatically in response, "hey, it's not my fault we have a game coming up. shouldn't you be proud that your boyfriend isn't only charming and handsome, but an outstanding student?" before you can make a remark, your phone timer rings and you start to take the mask off, "yes, but i also know you're tired, tetsu." he sighs again at your reply, genuinely this time, "yeah, i know. we could make it a weekly thing, maybe?" and when you look over at him, there's a hopeful look on his face that makes you smile lightly, "that'd be nice. it's your turn for the face mask though, and i'm making you use a bubble one."

SUNA watches as you coo at the cats meowing for food. "rin, i think coming to this cafe was the best decision of our lives." there's a soft smile on his face and he can't help but sneak a few photos and videos—one of them was bound to become his new lockscreen for the next while. "that one kinda looks like you," he points out. you look over and coo again at the kitten beside you before looking over where rin is sitting. "hey, that one looks like you." rin glances behind him at the cat walking over and hums, "you're actually right." "hello? did you think i'd be wrong?" he pets his lookalike and it rubs against his hand, and he's suddenly too enamored to look at you while he responds, "dunno. thought you were gonna be fucking with me and it'd be an ugly cat or something. if that even exists." he can feel his lips twitch into a smile as you immediately reject the idea. rin waits for you so he can ask his one very important question, "do you think we should get a cat?"

🏷️ | @devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @semifilms @sakusasdirtyragdoll @dai-tsukki-desu @missyasma @thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hinata x reader #atsumu x reader #kageyama x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo x reader #suna x reader #hinata shoyo #miya atsumu #kageyama tobio #bokuto kotaro #kuroo tetsuro #suna rintaro

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 4 years

Text

Hot Chocolate (Birthday/Christmas Special)

Summary: Levi is bound to spend this birthday on his own, seeing that you're halfway across the globe as an exchange uni student. What he doesn't know though is that you have planned a huge surprise for him. NSFW 18+

Notes: sorry for any mistake you guyss please enjoy this

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Tags: f l uff, nsfw

Warnings: nsfw, the sexies

Disclaimer: I do not own the gif, I simply found it on Pinterest.

White heavy cream fell fluidly out of the carton it was stored, squeezed by Levi's calloused hand and into the small metallic pot that he rested his other hand onto. The mixture, an aromatic, dark brown hot chocolate, lightened in color upon a few stirs of his tool. Slowly with his hand he disposed of the empty carton in the recycling bin, making sure to wipe any stray droplet of white on the counter.

He blinked as his mind went blank, forgetting the next step of the recipe but only momentarily. His thoughts once again traveled to what troubled him, but he continued with his stirring in fear of burning the beverage he was set on making. With his teeth sinking dangerously at the tip of his tongue what he needed clicked in his head. Corn flour. A quorter of a cup.

He didn't bother tasting the mixture as he lowered the fire of the stove to the minimum, he simply marched to the corner built in cupboard, hands searching furiously for the porcelain vase that held this oh so precious corn flour that would act as the stabilizing factor to his hot chocolate beverage.

Seconds later he brought the fire to an halt absurdly, never ceasing with his stirring careful as to not have the mixture stick to the pot. He didn't like his chocolate adorned with burnt flakes or the taste they brought to his mouth neither did he like cleaning the burnt pot before having to pop it in the washing machine. As his hands reached for the cups he had set beside the stove beforehand to his alchemy, he helped the thick mixture in with a spoon.

The cups were immediately transfered inside the over; an attempt to keep them from any predatory fly that could have entered the apartment before Levi had a chance to realise and in addition keeping them sheltered as they reached a drinkable temperature. Levi threw the pot into the sink next, sighing to himself as he grabbed his thick latex gloves and out them on his hands. With a twist of his hand at the handle the watered started running on his gloves hands pot making him grab his steel wool.

His hand came to his forehead, wiping some sweat as he sighed again, hanging his head low as he gritted his teeth in frustration. His eyes squinted in anger, his hands dug into the inox of his sink and his heart sink dangerously low as he felt the room run cold due to the sun quickly setting behind the horizon.

Why had he made that chocolate, it beat him. The two of you hadn't spoken in at least two days and he liked -or rather chose- to blame it on your busy studying schedule, rather than the fight the two of you had over that call two nights ago. He had been to angry to admit he was acting like a brat to you, he had been too proud to simply say that he wanted your attention, instead he had resolved his anger into grumpiness, causing your overworked mind to snap.

You were gone as an exchange student in Japan for too long and both your busy schedules and the enormous time difference had dug their ways into Levi's life very negatively. Before you he had never lonely when he was alone, but now, now that he had gotten a taste of what it was to be with you, now that you had been ripped away from him from so long, he definitely felt lonely. And angry. And it killed him that he was almost on time for your arranged video chat, when you didn't even show any sign of being in existence still.

It made his boil though, by now, it must have been the 26th in Japan and you had spent your day ignoring him, not even bothering to open his message. Had he been so cruel to you while admitting he wanted you here with him? Was it that you didn't have enough decency to let him you know you were alright? That was what he simply wanted to know, in the end.

Sighing again he ripped the gloves off his hands and grabbed his phone. His fingertip touching the button provided him immediate access to his homescreen and he quickly entered Instagram dragging the homepage down a couple of times to let it load any new activity. Internally he knew, he would have been glad if he was to see a story or a post by you, any sign that you were alright would do for him.

Of course, as if on cue to shake him of his miserable thoughts his phone rang, buzzing in his palm. His eyes fell on the small window the revealed the caller id to him. It was Erwin, naturally, as he always used to shower him with phone calls on his birthday even up until the moment he was at his front door. Levi didn't missed out on those signs of affection, it's was quite the opposite really. He cherished them deeply. Seeing how much of an impact he had on his friends' lives moved him whether he showed it or not.

And so, while holding back his saddened sigh he picked up the phone, greeting his friend through greeted teeth.

"Hey Levi, uhm, I kind of need you at the moment, am I interrupting anything?"

"No," Levi spoke, biting painfully on the inside of his cheek in an attempt to hold himself back from sprinting out on his frustration. Of course Erwin could try and hide behind his finger, Levi knew that much. The blond was aware he wasn't interrupting anything, but he was still kind enough to ask; he always was sappily kind when it came to such sensitive subjects.

"Great look, I'm on route twenty two, fifth exit, I'm out of gas can you please come to my rescue and bring me some?" Erwin paused for a moment and then proceeded to mumble through an overly amused breath "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you tonight."

"Did you take your father's run down car again?" Levi questioned.

"No... yes. I'm sorry Levi I felt like I wanted to drive his car tonight. I shouldn't have to drag you here too, I'm sorry."

"No it's fine," Levi bit back, hissing at Erwin's unhealthy habit of wanting to drive his father's antique due to its sentimental worth. But then again, he reminded himself he wasn't in a place to judge. "Give me 15 and I'll be there."

Fidgeting his fingers on the counter without throwing a second look he came in contact with his car keys. The familiar jiggling sound gritted through the air proudly as Levi pierced his finger inside the key loop, finally pressing the keys steady to his palm. With another grunt, he hang up the phone, bringing the device to the palm of his hand once again.

His mind begged him to open his texts with you again -his initial goal ever since the moment he opened his phone- just to stare at the screen or at his unopened text, his insides begged to boil with concern at the process but he figured had all night to do so, prolonging his misery could definitely wait now that Erwin was in need. And thus he simply marched to the hanger behind his front door, eager much to quickly get a hold of his warmest jacket before having to step out in the cold apartment corridor and consequentially outside in the cold December weather.

___

You forced Hange to suppress her giggles as you slipped the metallic key inside the lock to your shared apartment with Levi. With an exaggerated jump though Hange let out another scream fill the air, ignoring yet another playful rasped gaze you consequentially threw her. Laughter bubbled from the both of you as you kept on locking eyes, amused by the upcoming execution of your plan.

The plan was simple really. You had Erwin call Levi for any emergency he could come up with and only when he left the house you and Hange would sneak in, light up the aromatic candles you spent weeks picking. You would make some hot buttered rum and light the fireplace to warm up the house. Then, Hange would leave right when Erwin would call you to announce that Levi was on his way back and you'd wait for him with the biggest smile on your face.

"Okay now let's see how much time we have." You said and rubbed your hands together to warm them up. Leaning with one hand over the wall you moved the heel of your left foot on top of your right one, pressing down enough so you could wiggle your foot out of the shoe. Doing the same for your other foot, you removed your jacket and hung it behind the door.

"Erwin said it will take Levi about twenty minutes to get to him, they shall spend about ten to fifteen minutes fueling his car, but he promised he'd try his best to delay Levi if we need to. And then add another ten minutes for him to get back." Hange spoke, fixing her glasses onto her nose.

"You think I have enough time to take a bath?"

Making sure to slip her shoes off after you, Hange nodded in your direction and proceeded to set her heavy backpack on the couch. One by one she took the candles and a lighter out, eventually smirking to herself as she tried to come up with a plan on how to neatly set them around the living room.

"Hange!" Can you put those in the bedroom?" You spoke, ripping your shirt off of you before your finger came to graze the side of your mouth as your mind sunk in your thoughts.

"Ha!" Hange huffed "as if you're even going to make it to the bedroom!"

Your cheeks burned as she spoke, eyes widening slightly at how your mind told you she was completely right. Of course you and Levi wouldn't make it to the bedroom at least until later tonight. It had been months since you had last seen him and it was his birthday, you wouldn't even be able to rip yourself off of his arms. Thus you simply threw a mellow smile at Hange as you sprint to the kitchen checking to see if you had all the ingredients you'd need to make your choice of drink.

Coincidentally, you opened the oven and your eyes immediately fell on what was inside. Your expression softened as two grey toned cups shone in your orbs, the smell they emitted deliciously filling your nostrils. You smiled to your self as you thought about how your lover didn't miss out on making your traditional Christmas drink.

It was unbelievable how kind hearted Levi was, in contrary to what people thought of him, you thought. Most of the times -and simply because he didn't allow otherwise- the only thing people who weren't close to him saw was a cold demeanor, a sharp tongue and a foul mouth. It all would be too ironic if they knew how Levi was behind closed doors. Taking notice of small everyday details, sticking to his beloved routine, cherishing moments with his loved ones, remembering everything most people would ignore about others and showing his love in the sweetest yet most Levi way were only a few of his virtues.

Of course he wouldn't miss on making your favorite strawberry scented thick hot chocolate, even if you had spent the last few days not speaking to him, even if as of now he remained ignorant as to why. You assumed he believe it was about that ridiculous fight and you could admit you purposefully riled him just enough for him not to expect to see you. You were sure, seeing he had shown a previous liking in surprises like this, that his jaw would hit the floor when he'd see you.

Guilt rushed through you at the thought of you making him feel miserable even in the slightest, but Hange couldn't just have you standing there, sulking in your anxiety over how things had led up to this moment. If you wanted to make it in time for when Levi came home you'd have to rush. Hange insisted on shooing you out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, urging you to act fast, before Levi came. Sensing she was right, you settled for running to retrieve a new pair of underwear and a clean towel before jumping in the shower.

Stretching your arms to close the curtain behind you as you stepped on the white marble tiles you twisted the faucet handle to the right, letting a deep sigh escape from the depths of your chest as the hot water started running.

___

The sound of keys jiggling together filled what should have been an empty apartment, making Levi's arrival known only to you who stood inside the kitchen. He stepped inside a few seconds later, ripping his shoes off of his feet before slipping into his fuzzy slippers.

His hands immediately reached for the wipes and rubbing alcohol he kept on a stand right next to the door, silently grabbing a wipe and coating it in the strong smelling disinfectant before bringing it to his phone and keys. He spent a good minute cleaning the items meticulously only stopping when he felt satisfied to set them on the stand. He took a step to turn around with his goal to walk to the kitchen and heat up his got chocolate. Judging by the time he could still try to reach out to you before the day ended.

With a quick glance around the room, though he found himself freezing in his spot.

"Great, now I'm so shit mad I'm seeing fucking things." Levi announced -seemingly only to his own self- the moment he laid his gray orbs upon you.

"No Levi, you're not seeing things baby."

Standing up for your seat on the kitchen table you shot him an adorning look; your eyes squinted and your cheeks puffed up, coated in a sheer scarlett color. You silently watched as his eyes grew impossibly wide, flickering between you and each lit candle that showered the room in plenty of romantic golden light.

His legs were slightly trembling, his knees going weak at the sudden need to intake all of what was unraveling before him, but with his heart hammering in his whole body he only managed to part his lips before even beginning to thing if what to utter.

"Merry Christmas and happy birthday my Vee." You smiled again, mouthing the tooth rotting sweet nickname as you walked to him with open arms and a longing look on your face.

He wasted no time, even if his head was starting to buzz in confusion and uncertainty, he bucked in his stand before sprinting towards you. His hands quickly wrapped under your bum, lifting you up on him while prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. With painfully squinted eyes his nose nuzzled up between your neck and your chest, inhaling your magnetising aura sharply as he span you around. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, embracing his head in a loving manner as you couldn't supress your bubbling giggles.

His strong grip on you wasn't ceasing, not even for a moment as he began mouthing his questions; he didn't even care that his voice was muffled by your own form.

"How- I mean when?" He spoke and only hugged you tigher onto him.

"Well, you thought I'd ever miss this day?" You placed a kiss on the top of his hairline. "I was supposed to be here days ago but my flight got delayed, so Erwin and and Hange came up with this surprise plan."

Levi's hands loosened their grip on you slowly was you tried to slide down his body carefully; this breathtaking moment could only ever last for so long, Levi figured as he set you down. Kissing you was the next task he assigned to himself, but it could only happen after he got a good look at your face.

God, he had missed you so much.

So many months had passed since the last time he had been graced with seeing you this close to him and in the moment what he was witnessing almost felt too unreal. Your tender eyes looked into his with adoration and warmth, your chest dwelled with tainted breaths as your hands slowly came to cup his sharp face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't responding at all, I really had to leave to go to the airport after that silly fight we had, I couldn't just tell you I was coming." You said and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. "Although I was really temped to."

Levi wrapped his arms around you again and hugged you to his chest- this time he missed on levitating you if the ground, even more fiercely than he had done before. He simply huffed in amusement in the crook of your neck, mouthing a sole 'thank you' against you.

The next kiss you shared was maniac and passionate in nature. His lips didn't just graze over yours, the engulfed them. He sucked onto your tender flesh as if his life depended on it and you couldn't get enough. You found yourself grabbing his shirt, then running your hands through the short spiky hair of his undercut.

His slick hands cupped your own face as he pulled back only to catch his breath for a moment.

"I've missed you much I can't even be patient to talk with you."

"Me too" you announced, a hazed look masking your face.

You took a few leading steps to the couch, careful not to disturb the candles in the corners of the coffee table that before it, much afraid of setting everything on fire in your despairate state to have him. Your mouth launched feverishly onto his as you threw him onto the gray sofa.

Levi didn't fight it, not even for a moment. His tongue shoved inside your mouth, rolling around yours, slurping and cherishing each corner of your mouth as he took small intakes of breath through his nose from time to time. His tender hands loosened their grip on the sides of your face, the action eliciting a small whine from your occupied mouth but to was quickly gulped down by the movement of his lips that came to suck on your tongue.

You felt his fingertips travel down your clothed body, skillfully sinking underneath your shirt before restlessly traveling back up taking the cloth away with them. You only broke away from each other for a singular moment, breaths hitching and tinting the air around you, so much that you could almost ignore the way your heart sped it's throbbing in your ears. His hips bucked longingly int you from underneath, the friction already driving you crazy.

As his hands shoved longingly inside your pants you let another moan slip from the depths of your throat, though it was guickly muffled by your lover's mouth attaching on yours , making you melt into him. You felt his fingers graze ever so slightly over your still clothed crotch, painfully flicking their way through your flesh.

Roughly, he pulled back, detaching his want body away from yours while fixing his gray eyes into you. He didn't bother speaking as he tagged at the sides of his shirt, ripping the article of clothing away from him in such quick movements, as if it was the only thing getting in his way from getting close to you.

With hanger widening his eyes he stared at you again, prompting you to put your hands into him, to feel him all the while he run his hands into your form. He failed in exploring your body as he had wished though, with a shagged breath he only managed to bring you close, in a proximity that didn't even allow a kiss to be exchanged. You simply nuzzled into the crook of his bare neck, rubbing the tip of your nose in calm circles against him as you breathed hot huffs of air onto his skin.

His back was still so muscular and ripped despite his skin being so overly smooth under your tender touch, the more small trails you rubbed over him the more he sighed in greed and over exaggerated longing. Licking his lips with a constipated look on his face, he placed a tender kiss on your collarbone before traveling back up, just to teasingly rub his bottom lip over yours.

Breaking the kiss you grabbed his hand, bringing his palm close you your face. You teasingly picked his pointer finger, making sure to scratch the inside of his hand with your nails as you brought the digit to your mouth. His mouth, running ahead of his own desire to stay quiet, blurted lewd moans at your soft suckling and with all blood boiling in his body he was unable to even think about chocking down on his sounds.

He was on his back before he even knew it. It seemed like squirming was the way to go now, right underneath you as you placed kisses all over his chest and torso. With slow hands you reached for his pants, fidgeting with his zipper and buttons before wiggling your arms inside the dark denim.

Quickly, any remaining article of clothing was discharged thrown anywhere on the floor; you could worry about that later but right now you couldn't seem to be able to pay attention on anything else than each other. You had missed him, he had missed you, there was only so much that the two of you could process momentarily.

It was the high of the moment mixed with your scent that pulled him even even more as you craddled him to your chest while never ceasing the bobbing of your hips. The kisses that he sucked in you, sped up the beating of your heart against his as soft skin mingled with your own. Even that was painful to him, the extend to which he had missed you didn't leave any space for him to pull just an inch away from you, as if he wouldn't ever be able to get enough.

"My Levi, I've missed you so much." You spoke with hitched breaths, lips grazing his earlobe ever so slightly.

Levi allowed him self to eventually grunt in response letting harsh huffs of air through his nostrils while trying to guide your hips to an alt.

"Keep talking like that and I'm not going to last." He spoke, his fingering digging into your thighs to put an halt to your movements.

It didn't work -he should have known it wouldn't work- because you only slid down on him longingly and fast, sending his mind in the familiar pre orgasmic haze he so wished to momentarily be freed from.

"Who said," you paused only for another tainted moan to slip outside your lips "I want you to last?" You placed a kiss on the skin behind his ear, careful not to suck and create any loud noise that close to his eardrum.

Levi only threw his head back, his hips starting to work onto a hard, quick rhythm against you. He trembled under your words and every deep thrust, every feel of your insides on his throbbing length was only contributing to the build up in his abdomen.

He hair, sweaty as it was, stuck on his forehead as it dripped, but you paid no mind in his salty taste as you kissed your way all over his forehead and cheeks, nose and jawline, trailing your tongue on any sharp edge of him.

Your legs were shaking now and much to your best wishes you struggled with your thrusting onto him. You only managed to gyrate your hips, earning another moan of him as you ceased your movements, sweat dripping off of your own forehead as if mimicking his antics.

His hands nearly slipped from your thighs as wet as they were but he managed to get the message you were trying to convey; with jaded breaths he started thrusting maniacally from underneath you, damaging through you as pleasure dueled in both your bodies.

Yearning splashed all over his face and his grunts only got louder. Your foreheads collided as you cupped his face, noses nuzzling up, eyes staring deep into eachother.

Gentle. His ultimate indulge into you was gentle and earth shattering at the same time. His veins popped in white hot pleasure and his chest boiled with numerous erotic moans as his abdomen screamed throughout him, leaving him with barely enough time to mechanically reach just to pull out. His head hung low onto your collarbone while his head throbbed, unable to come down from his high just yet. He couldn't even move his eyes to see you, although he knew by listening to your panted breaths that you were in the same position as him.

Pushing him back to lay down on the couch, you kissed all over his face for the thousandth time tonight.

"I'd never ever miss this important day, you know." You smiled, pressing your lips to the tip of his nose.

"It's not that special, brat" he spoke shyly as he cooed into your face rubbing his upper lip to your cheek. You recognised the action; it was a habit of his to coo in such way, any overly soft thing grazing his top lip indulged him in endless calmness and you hummed to yourself in amusement to the feeling.

"I missed you."

"I know. You said that." He huffed, his lips puckering to hide the playful demeanor behind his next words. "But I don't think I heard it right, mind repeating it?" His fingers trapped your nose between them and swayed your head from side to side before moving to your naked back to press you closer to him him once again.

"You're such a tease. I love you Levi."

"I love you too," He blurred with eyes that burned into yours and proceeded to place a sweet kiss onto your sweat drenched hair "so much, you brat."

Taglist go off: @ackermans-freedom-inc @hawkssnugget @berrijam @levisbrat25 @nobody-knows-anymore @callmepromise

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #LEVI ACKERMAN #levi #levi ackerman imagine #levi snk #levi attack on titan #snk x reader #snk #AoT #aot x reader #snk imagines #levi imagine #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #Attack on Titan Imagine #attack on titan #aot season 4 #snk season 4

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pokemonswshfics · 4 years

Text

hi! ofc anon, thank you for waiting so patiently <3 i hope i got these correct, have a good read everyone! ^-^ 💕

Milo/Gordie/Raihan × Reader || Angst/Fluff Headcanons (Sfw)

tw !! ptsd is mentioned in this post, please do not read if it can negatively affect you! take care! <3

headcanons under the cut!:)

Milo (Sfw)

He found out about your PTSD the hard way.

Milo had a meet scheduled outside his gym, which you would be attending in secret by wearing very casual clothing, and overall making it difficult to identify you.

You regretted going almost instantly.

Left and right, Milo had fans bombarding him with requests for photos or autographs, or both.

Each time you heard a request for photo or autograph, your heart seemed to pound faster.

Milo was calm throughout it, which only seemed to make it worse for you.

Once he noticed you were practically on the verge of tears, he stopped the greet and told fans he had a personal emergency.

After getting away from the meet, he demands to know what's wrong.

Although your hesitant to tell him, Milo's patience never faltered.

"Buttercup, tell me. You're safe now and you know I would never judge you."

After explaining how much you dislike meets, explaining the issues of certain incidents, he would be nothing but supportive.

Immediate reassurance that your emotions are valid.

"Hey.. You're okay now, alright? That fan won't get anywhere near you while I'm around. It's completely normal to feel this way."

"You don't have to attend my meets either, Buttercup. Really! Do you wanna go home now? We can have some us time, away from fans. I wanna make sure you're okay."

"And I know I'm just.. Milo but.. I'd do anything to keep you safe. Both physically and mentally. I love you, you being okay will always be my priority. Okay, flower?"

Gordie (Sfw) {mild cursing}

Gordie found out after he noticed you getting extremely nervous while he got ready to meet fans.

"You aren't excited, doll? What's up?"

When you insisted nothing was wrong, he stopped getting ready and was concerned at your state. Shaky, heavy breathing, overall dread at the thought of a crowd of fans.

"Listen to me, I know you. I can see there's something wrong. You can talk to me, anything you tell me now, it stays between us."

He stops what he's doing in the process of getting ready, and gives you his full attention while you explain yourself.

"Does that fan still bother you? I just wanna talk, doll. Promise."

"No but seriously, do they? No? Alright, well.."

Gordie would make sure to pull you close in his arms, his hugs are some of the best feelings. Nothing but warmth, love, and safety.

"You're okay, you don't have to go to my meets, you know.. I'll be fine without you there. I'm better off knowing you're here at home, okay, than with me, bothered."

"And I don't mean for that to sound wrong at all. I genuinely mean it when I say I want you to be okay."

If that moment in particular is bad, he calls into his management/gym to tell them he'll be late.

Kisses any tears away, prefers to have you in his lap while he calms you down.

"Let it all out, doll. I'm right here, I won't go anywhere until you're fine. Don't be ashamed of having feelings like these."

"I have to go soon, I love you, okay? But I promise, you're okay and you're safe. When I get back, I'm gonna love the shit out of you!" "G-Gordie-!"

Raihan (Sfw)

He would see your trigger happen firsthand.

You'd get recognized in public, disguise on and all, and get crowded around.

"Champion, look over here! Please, we want a photo with you!" "N-No, I'm sorry, I d-don't do photos." You'd already be on the verge of tears at the sound of a first request for photos or an autograph.

"Just one. Please? Come on, we aren't gonna do anything weird with your photos or autographs-"

Raihan would cut in, harshly. He doesn't show his mean side, but when he does..

It's sure as hell noticeable.

Depending on your fans sizes, he can usually tower over them and glare with ease.

"Are you hard of hearing or something? They said no, get out of here."

"One picture wouldn't hurt-"

"Do you wanna know what hurt is?" Raihan's threats would only increase, he'd most likely get physical.

"Raihan, please let's go. It's only giving them more attention!", You'd say, obviously distressed at both what had happened, and slightly at Raihan's actions.

When he sees, he immediately stops and begins to walk away with you from the fans, ignoring them.

Right after he tells the fan he had an altercation with that they "Got lucky."

If you're upset at him for making the scene a tad bit worse, he respects it and gives you space while you're walking together.

"Babe? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made a bigger scene.. They just wouldn't leave you alone. I wasn't just gonna stand aside.." "You should have."

If you snap at him, he doesn't get upset. Instead, he only gets soft.

"Hey. Stop walking for a second. C'mere."

Raihan would pull you into a tight hug, listening to you quietly cry.

"Why do you get like this with crowds, if I can ask?"

Raihan would then lead you to a quiet place to sit, most likely a secluded bench depending on where you two are.

He would listen while holding your hand, stroking it with his thumb.

Everytime your sobs or soft cries would escape you, he'd hold your hand tighter and wait patiently for you to collect yourself.

"First of all, come here again. You wanna go somewhere more private? We can, if you want to.", Raihan would whisper into your shoulder after he brings you in for a second hug.

If you try and push off his comfort and excuse your feelings as something that doesn't matter, his reassurance doesn't stop.

"If it doesn't matter, here's what does. You. Your health matters, okay, baby?" Raihan would pepper kisses on your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "I just wish you had told me sooner about this.. I promise fans won't get near you now, alright?"

And he means it, instead of taking you to meets, he usually texts you during them.

"Hey, babe! Miss you lots, I hope you're doing good back home. Love you, see you later! ❤"

The message would always come with a signature selfie.

***

thank you so much for reading! have a good day/night ^-^ !! requests are always open, just might be a wait 💕 - 🥝

#pokemon #pokemon shield #gym leaders #pokemon gym leader #pokemon swsh #headcanons #pokemon headcanons #pokemon fanfiction #pokemon raihan #raihan headcanons #raihan x reader #raihan swsh #pokemon milo #milo pokemon #milo x reader #pokemon sword milo #milo swsh

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headoverheelsforramsey · 3 years

Text

New York & New Beginnings (2/3)

Book : Open Heart (set post book 3)

Pairing : Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Meera Bose)

Summary : Meera is in a convention at New York when she receives news that leads her and Ethan's life to a new beginning.

Category : Fluff

Warnings : None at all

Rating : General

Word Count : 2199

Trope(s) : Convention/Gala; Pregnancy

A/N : So here we are with the second part to confirm your suspicions, let me know if y'all got it correct or not 😂 We have one more part of edits to go before bidding adieu to this mini series. For now enjoy! 💖

Catch Up With Part 1

Happy Reading Guys! ❤️

Meera looked out of the car window as the wind ruffled her hair. "So did you think about it?" Ethan said, removing his hand from the wheel and putting it on hers.

"You are becoming increasingly predictable Ethan, I was a hundred percent sure you were going to bring up this question within ten minutes of hitting the road," she joked.

Ethan couldn't help but laugh, "but seriously did you think about it?"

"Yes but my answer remains no."

Ethan remains silent briefly. He turns to look at his wife when the signal turns red. "But why? What is the harm in trying?"

Meera sighed, "firstly I will be very busy with the conference and speech, and secondly you know how through the roof my anxiety is during that two minute wait. How do you think I'll survive it without you holding me?"

"You'll have your sister with you and I will be there on FaceTime the entire time, I promise." Ethan pauses as they reach the airport parking lot.

Both of them get down from the car and unloaded Meera's suitcase and carry on. They reach the domestic departure entrance and Meera wraps him in his arms.

"There is no way you can come with me?"

"Sorry rookie, you know very well if there were any I would have been on that plane with you already." Ethan kisses her passionately.

"I'll miss you."

"I already miss you." Ethan hugs her once again, pecking her cheek. Meera tiptoes to reach Ethan's ears, "I'll think about it," she whispers.

"You will?" Ethan pulls her back and looks into her eyes visibly elated. Meera nods,"but if this turns into a disappointment then you'll treat me to the biggest sundae that is available."

"First I'll treat you to it irrespective of the result, and second it won't be a disappointment, I promise."

Meera rolls her eyes,"you and your 'diagnostician's instinct', is that some kind of spidey sense?"

"What is that now?"

"You are such a dinosaur Ramsey." Meera laughs and looks at the time. "I have to go now."

They share another kiss, memorizing the taste and preparing themselves to survive the weekend without each other.

"Call me when you land."

"I will, love."

Meera walks through the automatic glass doors of the airport waving and blowing flying kisses at Ethan.

Ethan laughs and pretends to catch them. He stares at the reatrating figure of his wife until he can no longer see her. He sighs, climbs into his car and drives home to get ready for work.

After enjoying peaceful marital bliss for around two years both of them had agreed that it was time to expand their family. They have been trying for four months and over this time Meera had taken quite a few pregnancy tests.

Being diagnosed with PCOD since a very young age, Meera's menstrual cycle wasn't the most regular. So every time she missed her period she took a test. Only to be disappointed for it to come up negative.

Ethan on the other hand was much more calm and composed and had predicted the test turning negative every time, something he would say was 'diagnostician's instinct'.

But a couple of days back when Meera had informed him of her period being delayed again, Ethan quite confidently had anticipated that she was pregnant.

Meera had scoffed and brushed off his prediction and had decided to take the test later.

Soon after she was appointed by the board to attend a medical conference at New York over the weekend, and deliver her first ever keynote speech. Meera had thought Ethan would let it slip by then, but he was still quite confident about the test turning positive and kept on urging her.

Meera entered her sister, Lina's apartment laughing and joking, after a tiresome day of conference and exploration.

"And you remember, in Atul mamu's wedding we 'accidentally' dropped an entire bowl of curry on Sheila mausi's saree!" Lina said, putting down the pizzas on the kitchen counter.

Meera burst out laughing reminiscing the very funny memory, "oh yes! Oh my God it served her right though for bad mouthing mashimoni earlier."

Both the sisters laugh clutching their sides for a few minutes before finally calming down.

"Ahh good old times," Lina said, a very satisfied smile on her lips.

"Good old times, indeed," Meera agreed. "But I gotta call Ethan and get changed."

"Aaaaaand while you do that, I'll heat up the pizza and pour us some nice wine. Ooh let's watch a movie! What do you want to watch?"

A moment of rare silence pass as the sisters think.

"Jab We Met?" both answer together and then breakout laughing.

"This is gonna be such a great night!" Lina said before moving into the kitchen.

Meera called Ethan, it went into voicemail. She tried again but he didn't answer. Assuming he was busy she opened up the suitcase and grabbed her pajamas. She saw the pregnancy test kit sitting underneath it.

Meera debated over whether she should inform Lina, then decided against it. "It will probably come up negative," she thought. Meera knew her body and her body wasn't giving her any signals.

With the number of times she had taken the test you would think it would be easier right?

But it was not. Her anxiety during the two minute wait time was the exact same as it was the first time. It was infact more difficult without her husband on her side.

The beep from her Apple watch declared the end of the very tedious two minutes. Meera stopped pacing, her heart beating faster with every passing moment as she approached the sink, on which the test was sitting.

She picked up the test and could not believe her eyes. Two amicable pink lines were displayed on the tiny screen. She brought it closer to her eye and double checked the meaning of two lines.

As the realisation hit her she let out a scream and put her head in her hands as tears flooded her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

Lina on the other hand had come running from the kitchen and knocked on the door. "What's wrong di? Is everything okay? Let me in."

Meera opened the door and wrapped her sister in a hug. "Why are you crying?"she said, gently patting her back.

"I am pregnant," Meera managed to mumble out in between sobs.

"What?" Lina couldn't believe it. Meera placed the test on her hand.

"Oh my god, yes. You. Are. Pregnant! I am going to be an aunt!" Lina wraps her sister in a hug once again, her voice unknowingly reaching a higher decibel.

"Okay you have to call Ethan ASAP!" Lina exclaimed, coming into the living room.

"I know, I will, but I need to take another test."

Lina gave her a confused look. "Some of the times these tests end up false, so I need to take another to confirm."

"Oh, okay, fine. I'll go get one, you call Ethan," Lina said, grabbing her coat and exiting the apartment.

Meera opened her laptop and sighed. This was so much information to process and she didn't know how Ethan was going to react. They both have been wanting this for a long time, but there is a difference between wishing for something and actually being granted the wish.

She hovered over the call button for a few moments before clicking it. Minutes later her husband's striking figure appeared on the screen.

"I am so sorry Rookie, I missed your call---" Ethan stopped mid sentence noticing Meera's red eyes.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying, love?" concern shadowing his every feature.

"We are pregnant, Ethan," Meera says, holding the test in front of the camera as tears once again break free from her eyes.

Ethan is stunned as the realisation slowly hits him. "I am going to be a dad? Oh Meera, I just wish I could hold you right now."

"I wish that too Ethan."

Meera looks up from the screen as Lina enters with another test.

"Lina got me another. I am going to take this to confirm."

Ethan nods,"smart thinking as always, rookie."

Meera walks to the bathroom again as she hears Lina chatting with Ethan fervently. "I am calling god mother, in the honour of being the first person to know."

Meera smiles to herself before closing the door, which entirely cuts off her sister's voice. "This is it," she thinks to herself before taking the test.

The three of them wait for the result again. Meera's heavy breathing filling up the silence of the apartment. Ethan's hand became sweaty with every passing moment, he wasn't this nervous even on his first day as an intern.

The beep declared the end of the wait time once again as the sisters looked at the test. "Yes, yes, yes. It's positive. IT'S POSITIVE." Lina's shrieked as she wrapped Meera in a hug.

On the other side of the screen Ethan felt immense pleasure and joy. The only thing he regretted was not being beside Meera at that moment.

"Okay, let's celebrate," Lina hands over a glass of wine to Meera. Both the doctors gave her a look. "Oops sorry no alcohol for you. So I'll take both and give you two some privacy. Also when can I inform the world?"

"Not now Lina, I want to be with Ethan first," Meera replied. "Fine, but I am already searching for names," Lina winks and goes into the bedroom leaving the two new parents alone.

"Meera, I am so sorry."

"For what?"

"I should have been there with you today."

"It's not your fault. I should have taken the test sooner. Atleast your diagnostician's instinct hasn't failed you," Meera laughs.

"You are happy right?" Meera asks hesitantly.

"Ofcourse I am. You are giving me the world and family, I never thought I would have."

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Meera is something bothering you?"

"I just don't know. What if we are not ready? What if I become the worst parent ever? What if I completely fuck this up? What if--"

"Meera Meera Meera, deep breaths, slow down." Ethan's concerned voice interrupted her. She reached for the glass of water suddenly feeling her throat drying up.

"Listen Meera, it's okay. We have thought this through. There is no right and wrong here. We have survived a lot in the past seven years and we'll survive even this by being on each other's side," Ethan said, wishing he could reach for her hands through the screen.

Meera nods, steading herself,"I love you."

"I love you too, Rookie."

"Wait are you going to call me that even when the baby arrives?"

"Yes. You love that name."

"That I do, but I'm going to blame you if his or her first word turns out to be Rookie." Both of them burst out laughing.

"So are you nervous about tomorrow's speech?" Ethan asks.

"Not really. I mean if I am about to survive this,"Meera cradles her abdomen,"then probably I'll be able to survive anything."

"That's like my wife,"Ethan says looking into her eyes. This is just the beginning of a very new, unexplored path for them but he had faith in her and so did she and that was enough for them to walk down it.

Lina woke up with a jolt from a loud knock on the apartment door. Last night Meera had passed out within an hour of the movie. Much to her dismay Lina had insisted on taking the couch for the night leaving the bedroom for Meera.

The knock came again, with a groan Lina sat up and looked at the time on her phone. It was six in the morning. Who in the world was at her door that too so freaking early.

She opened the door to find Ethan there. Her jaw dropped, Lina rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

"Good morning. I hope I am not disturbing you much."

"Umm yes… I mean no. But what in the world are you doing here?"

"May I come in first?"

"Yes, sure." Lina stepped aside making room for him to enter.

"So?" she asked once again.

"I couldn't sleep since learning about the news, I just missed her so much, so I cancelled a few meetings for today and drove up here," Ethan said like it was no big deal.

"Wait. So let me get this straight. You drove four hours, in the middle of the night to meet di?" Ethan nods.

"God, she is one lucky woman. Try and give some notes to Bryce please."

"I'll try," Ethan laughed. "So where is she?"

"In the bedroom, sleeping," Lina replies. "Since I am up already I'll go for a run and give you two some more privacy." Lina walks into the bathroom to change.

She crosses the bedroom on her way out and sees the two of them cuddling and lying in each other's arms. She sneakily captures a picture, "one lucky bitch in love," she says to herself and then let's herself out.

Thank you so much if you have read till here, it means the world to me. Hope to see you go on other different adventures with me, Ethan and Meera, till then sending love and hugs your way! ❤️

Taglist : @starrystarrytrouble @mm2305 @charisworld @choicesfanaf @potionsprefect @genevievemd @shanzay44 @little-flowers-on-heaven @schnitzelbutterfingers @coffeeheartaddict @gryffindordaughterofathena @chemist-ana @adiehardfan @custaroonie @ireneadlerisseggsy @takemyopenheart @natureblooms24 @mainstreetreader @izzyourresidentlawyer @a-crepusculo @quixoticdreamer16 @starryeyedrookie @barbean @thebluestonedpendant @kit-rookie-princess

+ @choicesficwriterscreations & @openheartfanfics

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed 💜

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pretoriafics · 3 years

Text

If I wasn’t a goddamn werewolf - Pt. 4

Things with your boyfriend are getting worse, and seems like Derek will not give up on you easily. Word count: 2.867 Pairings: Reader x Derek; Reader x Platonic!Talia Contain: Some angst, some fluff, Original characters (Daniel, your boyfriend) Warnings: English is not my main language <3; Inappropriate language TEEN WOLF MASTERLIST PART 1 | PART 5

Your eyes open slowly.

It was a sunny morning, with the orange lights of the sun passing through the windows of the loft. You were close to Derek's naked chest, and his fingers running slowly through your hair tell you that he woke up before you.

"Oh, damn, did I woke you up?" He asks you, worried, putting a sweet kiss on your forehead.

"No." You throw your arm on his waistline, pulling him close while looks at his green and sleepy eyes "Good morning."

A smile was born on Derek's lips, and he gets closer to you. His thumb runs through your face while he puts a soft kiss on your lips.

"Good morning." He mumbles, with his eyes attached to yours.

It's been a wonderful night. You and Derek had a stroll around the city on his Camaro, and then you guys stopped in a clearing into the woods. There you drank a few, and you and Derek laughed and cuddled all night. He requested you to came to his loft and spend the night with him, and you couldn't say no to his proposal. That's how you ended at his bed, with clothes from both of you spread through the bedroom's floor.

You and Derek said nothing for a while. You were just looking at each other, with sweetness and pure love emitting from each other's look. Of course, you didn't need to say anything. Actually, any word would mess up that moment when both of you were just feeling the presence of each other. Wow, he was so beautiful...

Derek gives a soft smile for you, and you almost melted in pure love. Suddenly, you felt butterflies in your stomach. Oh, God, that would be the perfect moment to tell him about your feelings. But you couldn't. You needed to go.

"I'll get late for a meeting with a client, so I have to go." Your voice was low and soft, and you gave him a slow kiss as a way to say goodbye. Then, you stood up from the bed, with just your panties covering your body.

He sats on the bed.

"Do you really need it?"

"Yeah." You said, wearing your bra and taking your shirt from the floor "You know, I have a few bills to pay. I hate adult life." You look at him with a small smile, and you wear your shirt.

Derek put himself on his knees on the bed and stretch his arms in your direction, grabbing your shirt. You let out a chuckle.

"I think your client will be understanding with you if you get late."

He pulls you in his direction, making you laugh.

"No, he won't! Stop, I have to go!"

Derek's arms wrap around your waistline, and he throws you on the mattress while chuckling. His green eyes get attached to yours and, then he puts several soft kisses onto your neck. His voice was low.

"I just need ten minutes more with you."

You close your eyes and wrap your fingers around his hair, just feeling his kisses through your skin while he puts his body over yours. His kisses had some kind of magic that could let you immovable and weak.

"Damn, I can't say no for you." You mumble.

Derek looks at you with a soft smile. He grabs your legs, putting them attached to his hips, and puts a slow and wet kiss on your lips. It was impossible not to smile between the kiss. You got late for your meeting that day.

That was the last time you woke up in his bed.

This time, when you opened your eyes, you didn't hear Derek's voice.

Sometimes, when you miss him, you close your eyes and start to remember all things you had lived together, from your friendship until your last moments. Your missing about him always seems stronger in the mornings. You both used to cuddle that hour of the day. After all, you both used to cuddle that hour of the day.

You felt the arm of your boyfriend on you, with your back on his chest. He was called Daniel. Well, you love him, but not the way he wants so much. He is such a successful surgeon and would give you the world if you wanted to. Everything is great with Dan: The dates, the conversations, sex... But, of course, he wasn't Derek.

That day, you needed to go to your training with Derek. So, you stood up from the bed, just wearing your lace panties. Dan sits on the mattress with arched eyebrows.

"Good morning for you too, cranky."

You turn yourself to face him, letting out a long sigh.

"Good morning. Sorry, baby. I'm just hurrying."

"Hurrying for what?"

To see another man.

"Uh..." You bite your inner lip, trying to think of a lie "Laura and I are just doing some exercises together. I'm late, and she'll kill me. She hates delay."

"She hates everything. Can't you stay here with me?"

Oh, God, and there he is: Looking at you with that puppy eyes.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

You walk to the wardrobe and takes some clothes while Dan lets out a long sigh of frustration.

"I just can't recognize you anymore. You are full of secrets from me. What's the problem?"

When you heard him, you stopped your way to the bathroom. Oh god. The last thing you want is to hurt his feelings. Dan just simply doesn't deserve this.

"Nothing, Dan. Really." You said, looking at him. The guilt was already filling your heart. "I'm just too busy. I'll compensate you for this." You go in his direction and curves your body, getting close to Dan and giving him a short and cold peck. "I promise."

Dan stares at you for a few seconds, complete disbelief about your words. He let out a long and tired sigh.

"Okay, if you say so..."

Damn. You were messing up everything. You hadn't time to fix things between both of you, so you go take a shower thinking in a way to conciliate your new life with your personal one.

Your time on the pack made you think about if you met Derek for real. He was such a different person with them! He was a tough one, rude and distant. He was the complete opposite when both of you were friends, mainly when you used to date. Derek was such an adorable man with you those times.

Is Derek has created a character when he was your boyfriend? Well, you didn't know.

In the beginning, at your training with your brand new alpha, he was cold and distant. Now he still the same way, but he is fussier than ever. Your training with him made you feel tired to death. However, that day, he noticed you were different.

"Go take five minutes resting." He said, with his analytical eyes on you. He wasn't too fussy today, and he almost seems a little bit more... caring. "You're with your head in the clouds today."

You walked in your water bottle direction while he spokes with you. With his comment, you look at him while you take a few sips.

"What?" You said, putting the water bottle away from your lips. Crap, Derek knows you so well...

"You're unfocused." Derek crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes from you "It's not your thing."

You put the water bottle on the floor, close to your smartphone. You took the cellphone, expecting Dan's messages because he always sends you a few while you're training. That day, you received nothing. Yeah, Dan was pissed off with you. You let out a long sigh, guilty.

"It's nothing." You said, unlocking the screen and going to Instagram. Then, you saw something that made you freeze: Dan's best friend posted a photo of them, still at college. He was wishing a happy birthday for Dan.

Crap! It was Dan's birthday, and you completely forgot!

You hide your face in your hand.

"Oh, damn..."

"You sure it's nothing?"

Derek still is looking at you, pretty open if you needed to talk with someone. He knew something was wrong with you. He saw you upset so many times that he knew when something was wrong.

You put your cellphone on the floor again, with your lips compressed. Then, ashamed as hell, you cross your arms and look to any part of the basement except Derek.

"It's Dan's birthday. The first we would spend together, and I just forgot it."

"You're definitely in trouble."

"Damn, I know." You let out a long sigh. "I just-"

"Look" He gets closer to you, looking you into your eyes "Don't push yourself too hard. You have been through a lot. It shouldn't be easy to just be part of this supernatural world all of a sudden. There's too much in your mind now."

Oh, he always knows how to calm you down... Or It was just the effect of his voice on you? Maybe both.

"I really don't want to think that way. I don't want to use all of this werewolf bullshit to be an excuse for being negligent with my boyfriend."

Derek shook his head negatively.

"(Y/N), you're not using this as an excuse-"

"I'm a terrible girlfriend, Jesus!" You slide your hand through your face "Dan don't deserve it."

Derek gives you a rueful look, hating to see you that way. Of course, you were just guilty with everything about you and Dan, but Derek doesn't need to knows it.

"Hey, look at me." He said, calling you to think straight. You instantaneously look at him, and he continued to talk. "Dan is a real lucky guy to have you."

And, God, how Derek envies him!

However, the entire world stopped when you gave him a soft smile, thankful for his words. The effect of his voice on you was - and maybe always will be - completely magical. Your smile made the same with him: made his heart race and get warm, and he felt an almost ethereal feeling.

Because, yeah, both of you had this kind of unreal bond.

"Thank you for your support, Der."

All that situation with Dan made you put your guard down. Derek knew how to use it to get closer to you again. Of course, he did it perfectly. It resulted in a conversation between both of you in months - a real conversation! And you even had called him by his nickname.

It was his turn to gave you a smile. You always melted in pure love.

"I'll always be here for you, (Y/N). You know it."

But... If Derek is just lying for you again? If he just wants to take advantage of you? He did it once, and he could perfectly do that again. Why not?

"Well..." You breathe in, recovering yourself of that sudden breathless and arousing your defenses again "I think I'm ready to continue training."

Derek compresses his lips, getting your silent and cutting message of 'stay away from me'. He breathes in and nods for you without saying any word.

You and Derek hadn't spoken to each other for the rest of the day.

Everyone was out to solve some kind of issue with a sort of creature in town. Derek has not authorized you to go with them because you were such a young werewolf, and you don't know how to defend yourself, so it could be dangerous for you and all of them. It was near 9PM, and you still were not ready to go to Dan's house. You had made a promise to him this morning, but you still don't know how to fix things. So, as a way to avoid your problems, you stay at the new Hale house until you figure out what you could do for Dan's birthday - and, also, what you could do to compensate him for all the bother you cause him.

You were laid on the couch, with your eyes fixed in the ceiling and thoughtful. Suddenly, a female voice launches you out of your own thoughts.

"I think we didn't meet each other properly. Seems like the perfect chance, don't you think?"

You sat on the couch and look at the owner of that voice, close to the frame that divides the living room and the entrance hall: It was Talia, the one you had heard so much about. You didn't know that, but she also heard a lot about you.

"Yeah, I think it is. I mean, we don't have to worry about all the mess this house is with the rest of the pack."

Talia gave you a smile, and you gave it back.

"It's pretty crazy. Teenagers are energical." She said, sitting on the couch next to you.

"Yeah, they are. But seems like they try to control themselves when Derek is close."

"Oh, of course. They are pretty aware that Derek could rip their necks."

You let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I noticed that."

Talia lay down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The living room dives in silence, but not an awkward one. It was comfortable.

"So..." Talia broke the silence "I know you've passed through a lot. It's not easy being a werewolf suddenly and find out about a whole new world at the same time. It's a lot of information."

"I'm trying really hard. You have no idea. But I'm pretty worried about my boyfriend, Dan. I don't want to mess up things between us. You know, because of all of that supernatural thing."

Well, you don't want to mess up even more things between both of you.

"Take it easy. You get it with time." Talia looks at you, analytical "I know we aren't too close to each other, but I'll ask something because I worry about anyone who is part of the pack: You are, you know, happy with Dan?"

That question caught you by surprise, and you hesitate. Talia seems to notice it. But, finally, you reply to her.

"Uh... Dan do everything to makes me happy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, but I also know that it doesn't answer my question."

Since the supermarket day, when Talia saw you for the first time, she noticed countless things that needed to be fixed. The first one was you and Dan. It was pretty obvious to her that you are not happy with him, as well as it was the fact that you needed some advice. She recognizes a lost soul when she sees one.

With her words, you hesitate again.

"When you say happy, you mean...?"

"I mean happiness, (Y/N). It shouldn't be difficult to answer this. There are just two possible alternatives: Yes, or no."

You compress your lips, thoughtful while looks at the ceiling. You felt in a therapy session. And honestly? You kinda needed this kind of conversation.

You spend a few seconds in silence as you were thinking about a reply.

"Yes, I am. Dan is perfect."

"But you think he is perfect for you?"

Hell no. Dan was perfect to be your best friend, and not something more. You always wanted someone who could pluck the air out of your lungs, someone who could put adrenaline into your veins. You want someone who could put your entire body on fire. Dan is unable to do it. He is too stable, like water.

But Derek... Oh, he was the pure meaning of fire.

"Well..." You let out a long sigh "I think he is."

Talia stares at you with arched eyebrows.

"Think? Oh, girl..." She let out a long sigh "Questions like these should have quick responses. It's a consequence for..."

"For being in love. I know."

"You're not happy, are you?"

It was your turn to look at her, recognizing a safe place there. You were honest now.

"Jesus, no. He's a great guy, but he got me so bored!"

Talia let out a low chuckle, looking at the ceiling now.

"It's visible you're not happy. I can see your discouraged look on the days you need to go to his house. If you're not happy, then why are you still with this guy?"

Because you need to move on, and you think Dan is the right man for it. You could fall for him with time.

"It's complicated..."

Your answer came with a long and thoughtful sigh. Talia knew all your drama with Derek, as well as the entire pack. So, she didn't need your explanations to find out about what the term 'it's complicated' means to you.

"I can understand you." She stood up from the couch, looking at you "But be careful to not lie to yourself. Be honest with you. I'm pretty sure things will get better. Otherwise, you can talk with me."

You sat on the couch, feeling a bit better. It was good to be honest with someone about all of that, after all.

"I'll remember it." You gave her a smile "Thank you."

Talia returns your smile and walks to the kitchen. And, now, you need to solve things with Dan.

And, maybe, with yourself.

TAG LIST: @teen-wolf-obsessed4life

#teen wolf imagine #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf fanfics #teen wolf fanfic #teen wolf fics #derek hale imagine #derek hale imagines #derek hale x reader #derek hale fanfics #derek hale x you #derek hale x y/n

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so-cool-day6 · 4 years

Text

ok here this suggestive n kinda smutty kevin thing

i'm absolutely no real writer so i apologize in advance lol

i wanna put some warnings to b safe, again ive never done this but i wanna do my best hshhsshshh

- slight degradation

- implied rlly rough sex

- mention of hair pulling

- color system

also i proofread this a million times but knowing me there's probably a million mistakes still, sorry

Never did I expect that "Jade" wasn't Jade at all.

Never did I expect that "Jade" was Kevin Moon undercover on deobi stan twitter.

Never did I expect that Kevin Moon would find my thirst tweets so hilarious that he wanted to hear more about them.

The moment Jade accidentally said "I" instead of "Kevin" in a message, I knew something felt fishy.

But he played it off so well, I soon forgot about it.

But those things just kept happening.

Sometimes it didn't take Jade very long at all to think up how Kevin would react to something.

Sometimes the answers seemed so extremely accurate, they could only have been from Kevin himself.

And when I finally put all the many pieces together?

Oh boy. I was pissed. And immensely embarrassed.

But not near as embarrassed as I know I'm about to be in a few minutes.

I'm only a few people away from going up to the fansign table to meet The Boyz.

I wasn't gonna come. I wasn't even gonna enter. I knew it would be far too embarrassing and humiliating to see Kevin in real life after all the explicit things I said about him, inadvertently directly to him.

But when your best friend begs you to enter with her, you enter with your best friend.

And when you and your best friend both win, and she begs you to go so she isn't alone... you go so she isn't alone.

She owes me big time for this one.

Thank goodness that Kevin isn't first...

As I talk to Jacob, Chanhee, Sangyeon, and Eric, I was glad to discover that, even if he shared every conversation we ever had, Kevin at least hadn't show any of them what I looked like.

But my conversation with Eric is ending, and Kevin is smirking, telling me that he has already noticed me.

Time to die, I guess.

I say goodbye to Eric, give him a high five, and move to the next seat in front of Kevin Moon.

"Well, well, well." He smiles. "Fancy seeing you here."

I try to laugh. "Yeah..."

"Why so shy? You weren't this shy on twitter."

"Yeah, when I wasn't talking to Kevin Moon."

"Ah, but you were. You were talking to Kevin."

I simply roll my eyes in response and look down at my hands, trying to keep my face from getting too red.

"Listen, I do wanna apologize. I shouldn't have manipulated you like that."

"It's okay... I can't blame you. If I were in your position, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing. And there wasn't any real harm done, right? As long as it doesn't get out."

"Although, I must say..." His eyes darken. "I kind of liked hearing your thoughts about me. Especially in such detail." His hand lands on my thigh under the table and he feels me instantly tense up. He cracks a smile and chuckles. "I really do have an effect on you, don't I?" His voice is barely above a whisper, and his grip on my thigh tightens. "Just tell me if you want me to take my hand away and I will. Instantly. No questions asked."

"Okay." I think for a moment. Do I? Do I want him to move?

He looks at me expectantly, waiting for more of a response.

"I'll tell you if I do." I can feel my face heat up as I make my decision.

He smirks.

"I love how flustered you get." His thumbs slowly rubs the inner part of my thigh, thanks to his hand placement, and chills run up and down my back.

"Hurry up." A staff member says behind him, making sure the line doesn't get held up.

While Kevin's hand on my thigh isn't visible to the crowd, it IS visible to the staff. But they don't seem phased, nor do they seem to care.

Does Kevin have a habit of feeling up fans under the table or do they just wanna go home?

He leaves a cold spot on my leg as he pulls his hand away and quickly signs my album.

He answers the question post-it, which is actually a question from my Kevin-biased friend who couldn't try for a fansign slot, and then he flips the post-it up and writes something on the album page underneath the post-it.

"Move." The staff tells me. Kevin gives me a high five to look casual and throws me a wink as subtly as possible.

I continue on through the rest of the line, trying to keep my composure, especially when talking with Sunwoo and Changmin.

I may have said... a lot about them to Kevin.

A lot.

The fansign finally ends, and I don't remember Kevin writing something under the post-it note until the drive back to my friend's house.

"Hilton on Portico

Room 347

Should be back by 8

I'll have Q out of our room by 8:05

Hope to see you there"

No way.

No, he's kidding.

He's kidding right?

Did he just ask me to meet him in his hotel room tonight?

Why?

He doesn't want to... no.

No, that's impossible.

Why would he want to-

"Are you even listening?" My friend snaps me out of my thoughts and I quickly cover Kevin's message.

"Sorry, I spaced out... Can't stop thinking about meeting them, yknow?"

My hand raises to knock on the door, before I pull it back down.

8:06, my watch reads.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be here, right?

This is insane...

Maybe he wants to lecture me.

Maybe he wants to yell at me.

Why would he wanna yell at me after what he did at the fansign, though?

I shake my head and raise my hand to knock again.

No matter why he wants to see me at his hotel room, he wants to see me at his hotel room.

It must be important.

I carefully knock, suddenly regretting all of my life choices as I wait for him to open the door.

What if Changmin is still in the room?

What if his manager is in the room?

What if he wrote down the wrong room number?

What if he was just trying to play with me all along, and they aren't even at this hotel?

The door swings open and Kevin's face lights up.

"You came..." He sounds shocked, as if meeting Kevin Moon in his hotel room isn't a dream to many, many people. "Come in, please." He opens the door wider and steps to the side, allowing me to walk into the room. "I'm sorry it's still a mess... we have to refuse housekeeping services and I just got Changmin to leave a couple minutes ago. I didn't have a chance to tidy up for you..."

"No, no! It's no big deal, no worries. If only you saw my house, it's way worse..."

We stand in silence for a bit, both of us unsure exactly what to do next, when suddenly I gain a boost of confidence.

"Kevin, why am I here?"

He looks at me with eyes full of... I'm not sure what.

Thoughtfulness?

"I don't know. Why are you here?"

"You don't know? You're the one who told me to come." I scoffed.

"I know. But why did you come? What were you hoping would happen if you came to my hotel room? Or should I say..." His eyes darken again, just like they had at the fansign, and he steps towards me and takes my hand in his. "What are you still hoping will happen?"

All breath leaves me.

"Maybe I can jog your memory. Were you maybe hoping that I would... pull your hair and pound you from behind like you're nothing but my sorry cumslut?"

A sharp gasp involuntarily leaves my body as he boldly quotes one of the first things I ever told Jade, word for word. I can feel his ego boost by the second.

"Or maybe it was something more along the lines of..."

Kevin places his hands on my waist and pulls my body flush with his.

"Fingering you roughly until you're shaking and crying and begging for me to stop... but I don't."

Again, he quotes my own sexual fantasy to me, every word correct. Except this time it elicits a soft moan.

I can feel him hard against me, and I can't help but look away towards the floor in embarrassment.

"Look at me."

I can't bring myself to obey his command, no matter how much I want to.

"I said look at me." He grabs my chin and turns my face towards his, his eyes slowly moving away from my eyes and down to my lips.

His eyes and voice all tell me that he's having a hard time holding back, but he has to ask something first.

"Have you ever heard of the color system?"

"Yeah." I whisper, which is about the only volume I can muster up in the moment. "Like a traffic light, right?"

"Right. What color are you on right now?"

"Green."

"And what color would you be on if I kissed you?"

"Green."

That's all the approval he needs to quickly place one hand on the lower back of my head and softly press his lips into mine.

That softness does not last long, as the kiss soon turns into a quite passionate make out.

We begin to migrate, lips still together, until our legs hit the edge of the bed and Kevin pulls away from me.

"Your fantasies aren't soft. And you've got such a hold on me, I can't promise to be either. I don't wanna do anything that makes you uncomfortable, upset, or negatively helpless. I want you to use the colors. Is that okay with you?" Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier.

"I can do that."

"Don't hesitate at all to say any of the colors at any moment, if you feel you want to. Okay?" Yeah, the continuous consent checks are really sexy.

"Okay."

"Where are we at right now?"

"Green."

With that, he smirks and pushes me onto the bed, quickly crawling on top of me to reattach his lips to my own.

His beautiful hands begin to wander and feel my body. He finds my waistband and slowly slides his thumb under it.

I know he's taking it slow just in case I change my mind, which is very considerate, but it only makes me frustrated.

I push him away slightly with my hand.

"Can you hurry it up, Kev? You've had me wet since lunch." Is all i say before grabbing his shirt and pulling him back into me.

I can tell he's holding back some kind of reaction to what I just did.

His hand fully slides under my waistband, both of them, and he begins to slide his hand lower and towards the middle...

The embarrassment surrounding my encounters with Kevin are being replaced with thankfulness. Who would have thought that thirst tweets would land me in a hotel bed, getting fucked by Kevin Moon?

He's just made me cum for the third time.

First time with his mouth and fingers, then twice by railing me in two different positions.

He says yellow as he pulls out, and I nod.

We both need a breather.

He lays down next to me, both of us breathing quite heavily. I'm definitely breathing heavier, though. Curse his dancer cardiovascular health.

"So, what do you think we should-" Kevin is cut off by the sound of the door being unlocked with a key card, and his eyes go wide. He hurries to pull the blanket up over me, covering up my naked body from the view of whoever was coming in.

The fact that he doesn't care at all about his dick still hanging out loud and proud makes me wonder just how comfortable he is with all his members AND staff...

The person entering starts saying something in Korean, and all I can pick out is that he's addressing Kevin for something.

As the mystery person turns the corner and we meet eyes, both of us freeze for a moment.

Kevin scolds Ji Changmin in Korean, and Changmin responds, clearly upset at Kevin for something.

Kevin checks his phone and mutters an "oh".

"I'm sorry." Kevin turns to me. "I told Q to stay out until 10, thinking we'd be done by then... but I guess we've been having a little too much fun..."

The room reeks of awkwardness (and sex, but that's besides the point), until Changmin shyly raises his hand to wave at me.

"Hello. I'm Q."

I chuckle and wave back.

Kevin says something to Changmin. I'm unable to pick out any words to grasp at some sort of context before Changmin's eyes widen even further and he points at me, simply saying...

"Deobi?"

I nod.

Kevin's face suddenly turns devilish, and he starts talking to Changmin again.

I feel very out of the loop, but the way Changmin's face is turning beet red isn't making me optimistic as to what Kevin is saying.

"Kevin, what did you just tell him?"

Kevin keeps talking and Changmin's eyes dart back and forth from me to Kevin, and then I notice they glance down.

His grey sweatpants are not being very forgiving as to hiding his erection.

"Kevin!" I try a second time.

"What, baby? A man deserves to know what a sexy woman wants him to do to her."

I grab a pillow and throw it at him, hard, before hiding my face in the sheets.

Kevin apologizes in both English and Korean, and I hear Changmin giggle awkwardly.

Kevin says one last thing and I hear someone going through a suitcase.

I peek out from the sheets and see Changmin riffling through his bag, still replying to Kevin, before tossing something at Kevin.

Kevin thanks him, using one word of Korean I do know.

Changmin leaves, not before saying a kind goodbye to me, and Kevin turns to me.

"This might be fun, don't you think? If my memory is being kind to me, you've definitely mentioned me using one of these on you." He holds up the vibrator that Changmin threw at him.

What on earth does Changmin get up to on tour?

"Did he say anything about what you... told him?"

"He asked if you were gonna still be in town tomorrow. I sure hope you are, cause I said yes. And tomorrow it seems I'll be the one leaving the room all night... if you want to, of course."

I start getting wet again at the prospect.

"But don't think about him too much yet. I'm not done with you yet, baby." He clicks a button on the vibrator. "Green?"

"Green."

He looks at me like he's a hungry lion, before pouncing on me.

Rest time is over.

--------

THE UNGOLDY SCREECH THAT LEFT ME OMG THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN

"Somehow his continuous consent checks make him a hundred times sexier" IT'S TRUE. I'm not okay. My mind was babble the entire time, especially when Changmin walked in 🤤 the idea of it all... beautiful 😍 is it okay if I tag this a tbz smut? I think more people deserve to read this. I'll delete the tags if you want me to!

#still screaming #submitted #🗝 anon #tbz smut #the boyz smut #kevin moon #submission #tbz reactions #the boyz reactions

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xpeachesncream · 4 years

Text

off the grid | four

summary: it was as simple as swapping places with a stranger from across the world to get away from everything back home. that is - until you meet Jimin. things become more complicated as he unfolds a new chapter in your life that you were initially trying to avoid.

pairing: reader x pjm

genre: post-college au, christmas/holiday au | angst, fluff, smut (to come)

words: 3.0k

chapter warnings: slight cussing, possible inaccurate depiction of transportation, events and whereabouts in South Korea since i only did my research thru the internet, flirty, sweet jiminie so pls tell your heart to be still

> series masterlist <

"Y/N." Jimin whined. "Just stay still for 2 more seconds, please." Jimin laughed at how much you were fidgeting as he rose his polaroid camera. He quickly snapped a photo of you sitting on the ground, in the middle of the white birch tree lane.

"I'm so happy I'm here!" You squealed as you stood up and dusted yourself off. Jimin had taken you to Nami Island for the day, being that you had talked all night about the infamous gingko trees and how beautiful they looked in pictures. Unfortunately, since it was winter, the trees barely had any leaves left, but you didn't mind. You were just happy to be there.

"Okay, come on. There's still so much more to see." He led the way with you following behind him. You continued to walk through the remaining tree lanes before heading over to the gardens and the petit french village.

"Wait, this is so pretty." You gasped, instantly posing in front of one of the colorful replica houses. Jimin snapped his picture before you decided to capture some footage for your instagram and snapchat stories.

"I'm really glad you're enjoying this."

"I hope you are too."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you've probably been here thousands of times. You must be tired of it." He shook his head and pouted.

"Nope." He chuckled. "Absolutely not."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Huh." You scratched your head. "Like Disneyland is a huge staple of LA but I'm tired of it." He shrugged.

"I don't know, this is probably a little different. We're not really waiting hours in line for rides in a super packed amusement park. Plus, waiting under the scorching hot sun? No thanks."

"Very true."

"I just enjoy being out and exploring, even if that means doing it over and over again with you. I don't mind." You smiled. The feeling you felt being around Jimin, the butterflies - you couldn't explain. It felt new, yet unreal, almost like you had to pinch yourself to remember this was actually reality. You were living it right at this moment. How could he exist as the pure, wholesome angel he was? You had no idea, and it caught you off guard every single time.

But you were scared, because when this is all over, what happens? You and Jimin go back to living life before you even knew the other existed? That'll suck.

Fuck that. You weren't trying to think of that now.

"I really do appreciate you taking me around."

"It's nothing." He flashes his pearly whites. Majority of the time, you're running to pose for the camera, already feeling completely comfortable in Jimin's presence. He took you through the village and through the gardens, where you strolled slowly side by side. His arm brushed against yours a couple of times, and you couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to experience a super affectionate and flirty Jimin. The thought kind of intrigued you. What if you were reading too deeply into this? What if he was just really nice and didn't have feelings for you like that? What if—"Y/N." You heard him call your name as he looked down at you and laughed. "Did I lose you?"

"No, sorry, I'm just taking it all in." You chuckled.

"No, that's okay. I was just saying that Jungkook fell into the bushes over there." He pointed at the shrubs.

"Wait, what?"

"He tripped and couldn't catch himself in time so he fell in there. It left an indent." He laughed.

"Are you guys always chaotic when you go out?"

"What, us? Never." He smirked. "Seriously, we aren't. But we do have our moments." His smile instantly fell when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. "Speaking of—" He quickly flashes you his phone, showing Taehyung's name on the screen. "Mind if I pick this up really quickly? Just in case the boys need me to bail them out."

"No, go for it." He smiled toothlessly before picking up the call. You both continued to walk slowly while he spoke to Taehyung on the phone. He began to laugh, his cheeks tinted with a rosy color. He rose his voice and groaned playfully, which was followed by a ton of 'okays,' 'shut ups,' and 'ughs' before finally telling Taehyung he had to go and that he would see them later. "Is everything okay?" You giggled.

"Yeah, they're just being a pain in the ass." He cleared his throat. Little did you know that Taehyung and Seokjin just spent the last couple of minutes teasing the hell out of him about you. "So, the guys wanna head to the ice skating rink tonight and told me to bring you along. Only if you wanna go, of course. No pressure."

"That sounds fun! I'll come. But, I have to warn you. I'm not very good at ice skating."

"It's okay, I'll be there. Taehyung isn't either, nor is Hoseok. I've had to hold them a couple of times." You laughed. "I'd definitely rather hold onto you than them." He quickly looked at you, realizing he let that slip out without catching himself. He felt his cheeks get hot due to the embarrassment that overcame him, but instantly felt relieved when he saw you smile and laugh at the statement. He definitely meant it though.

"I'll be sure to not be a piece of work tonight."

"Ah, you'll be okay. I believe." The rest of the time at Nami Island was spent walking through the the rest of the garden and going through the Gapyeong Rail Park on a two-seater bike. The view was spectacular and you honestly couldn't picture doing this with anybody else. At the end of the ride, Jimin took you to get some hotteok, which was just the snack you needed after the activities and walking you had done on the island. Before leaving, you saw a musician singing at the entrance while playing his guitar. There was quite a crowd, so you gently pulled Jimin to your side to stand and watch with you.

"He's really good." You clapped quietly to yourself as he wrapped up a song. "You should go sing up there!"

"I don't sing, though."

"Really? So all those times I've heard you, you weren't singing?"

"Mmm, nope. Don't know what you're talking about."

"Please?" You pouted and clasped your hands together. Your pouty face was becoming a huge weakness for him, making it incredibly difficult to say no to you.

"Y/N, I-I don't even know if he's--" You rose your hand and dragged him to the front. You signaled to the musician that Jimin wanted to sing. Jimin politely asked if he could sing a song, which the musician happily stood aside to let him take over the mic. Jimin showed him a song on his phone and asked if he could somehow strum along to the tune. He began to sing We Don't Talk Anymore - Charlie Puth x Selena Gomez, which had your heart skipping a few beats. His voice was the most angelic thing you have ever heard and he looked so fucking good singing. At the end, he smiled sheepishly and thanked the crowd and musician before waddling back over to you. "I hope you feel special."

"Me?!"

"I obviously don't like to put my singing voice out there, but I knew it'd make you happy."

"Why not? You have such an amazing voice."

"I don't know, it's just a fun past time for me. Nothing serious."

"Well, I really like it and I wanna hear more of it." He chuckled and nodded.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Jimin." You whined.

"No promises, princess." He shrugged. "Race you to the car?" He flipped the switch and began to run off before you could even respond. You ran as much as you could because running definitely wasn't your thing, but eventually you made your way to the car, where Jimin was catching his breath.

"See, look at you. All tired from that unnecessary effort." You laugh.

"Good race." He high-fived you before unlocking the car. The ride back would be about 2 hours, so you both would be making it just in time to meet his friends at the ice skating rink. You had fallen asleep without realizing, with Jimin smiling and silently laughing to himself as he glanced over. He made sure the car was warm and comfortable enough for you, before taking one more glance at you. He didn't know how someone could be so effortlessly cute, and it's crazy, because before you came around, he was fine minding his own business. He wasn't looking for love. His last relationship ended a year ago, and he had just been taking it day by day with the boys. No negativity on his end, no bad blood, nothing.

Then, you came along. You came along and changed things for him. Quick, too. He couldn't even explain it, even if he tried. He just knew he had become undeniably attracted to everything about you and he didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything else.

"Y/N." Jimin gave you a gentle squeeze on the arm. "We're here. Are you still okay to ice skate?" You opened your eyes and fixed your position in the passenger's seat, catching his concerned facial expression.

"Yeah, I'm okay." You gave off a good stretch just to fully wake yourself up. "Shoot, I didn't even realize I fell asleep."

"That race to the car really did it to you." He laughed, making you playfully hit him on the arm. Getting out of the car, you both had to walk quite a bit before finally seeing the ice rink in view. The first person you spotted was Taehyung, but he was speaking to another tall gentleman, who was dressed in a plain white tee, light denim jacket, black distressed jeans and black chucks. He had on a black hat, where the brim covered his face pretty well.

"Jimin-ah!" The unknown gentleman yelled as he held his arms out, in which Jimin openly accepted. They hugged each other and patted each other on the back before Jimin turned to playfully smack Taehyung on the arm as his greeting.

"Hey Y/N! I'm glad you came along." Taehyung engulfed you into a hug.

"I can't miss out on ice skating!" You chuckled.

"Y/N, this is my Jin-hyung." Jimin stepped aside as Jin also held his arms out to hug you.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." He caressed your back as you pulled away. "I'm surprised you're not sick of him yet." He tilted his head towards Jimin.

"Eh, he's not too bad." You joked, watching Jimin shake his head and bite onto his bottom lip. "Where's Jungkook?"

"Buying a snack with Hoseok." Jin replied as he dug his hands into his pockets. "Which reminds me, did you want to eat now or later Y/N?"

"It doesn't matter to me, whenever you guys want."

"Are you okay to hold off until after ice-skating?"

"Yeah!"

"Hey, why don't you ask us?" Taehyung nudged him, making him shake his head.

"It's simple. You guys don't matter. Only Y/N does." Jin winked at you.

"Stop flirting, hyung. It'll make Jimin ma--" Jimin grabbed Tae by the shirt and pushed him against the wall, pretending to beat him up. You bit your lip to prevent yourself from laughing and smiling too big, but you heard that for damn sure. As the two stopped playing and made their way back to you and Jin, Jungkook finally made it back with another gentleman dressed in a black beanie, black and white track pants, a black fitted hoodie, brown coat and sneakers. How in the hell were Jimin and all his friends so damn good looking?! You couldn't understand it for the life of you, but you sure as hell weren't complaining.

"Y/N! Jimin-ssi!" Jungkook yelled as he waddled over to you and hugged you before making his way to Jimin.

"He always calls me like that." Jimin murmured as Jungkook swung him around. Jin laughed and pointed at how ridiculous the two looked on the side.

"Y/N, Hoseok." Jin took the initiative to introduce you while Jungkook and Jimin continued to play around.

"Hi!" Hoseok waved and smiled sweetly. "You can call me Hobi."

"Nice to meet you." You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"How was Nami Island?" Hoseok walked by your side as you followed the group to get your tickets and skate rentals.

"Fun! It's beautiful."

"Isn't it? I'm glad you were able to go with Jimin. It's definitely a must."

"Yeah, he's been taking me to a couple of places already. I appreciate him enough." Hoseok smirked.

"You two are cute."

"Need any help?" Before you could respond, Jimin interrupted as he walked over, already on his skates. You bent over to slip the skates on, doing your best to tighten the laces as you tied them.

"I think so." You tried to get up, but instantly stumbled on your own two feet, causing Jimin to hold your wrist.

"Woah there." He laughed and held your hands to help stabilize you as you tried to stand. "Good?"

"Yeah, I got this, no biggie." You chuckled nervously. You held onto his arm as he walked you into the rink, where Taehyung slowly took his time to try and get used to the feeling and Jungkook was already skating freely. Jin was accompanying Hobi on the side, giving him words of encouragement to get him to let go of the wall.

"Okay, take it slow and hold onto the wall until you get a feel for it." Jimin stayed by your side as you tried to get your two feet to work properly in the skates. It didn't feel too bad, but every time you got a little too excited, you squealed and clung onto the wall due to your skates betraying you. Jimin laughed and held out his hand. "Come on, you can do this Y/N." You grabbed his hand, your legs stiffening without the support of the wall.

"Ah, Jimin!" You yelped. "Please don't go too fast!"

"We're going a whopping 3 miles per hour. Maybe even less."

"I am not that slow!"

"Highly debatable." He laughed. "But it's cool because you'll become a pro in no time." He reassured you and pointed. "See! We're getting faster. Progress." You started to get the hang of it, releasing the stiffness as Jimin continued to coach you through alternating the movement with your legs. Sooner or later, you were feeling a little more comfortable as you held onto his hand and kept a solid, slow and steady pace.

"I got it!"

"Wanna try to go alone?" At this moment, Jungkook appeared in front of you, holding his hands out, signaling for you try and skate to him alone. He nodded and reassured you, watching as Jimin slowly released his hand from yours. You stood there in a slightly bent position, afraid to move an inch.

"Y/N, I promise you'll be okay! Come to me." Jungkook said. You practiced the movements you had just done not too long ago and quickly grabbed his hands as soon as it was in reach. Because of the abrupt movement to rush over, Kook had to hold onto you to make sure you wouldn't fall, making Jimin laugh.

"So cute." Jimin said as he bent over to grab his stomach while laughing. "Y/N you don't need to rush, we aren't going to leave you."

"I'm just scared!"

"You're doing great! Look at Hobi, he hasn't even left the wall. The kids are skating around him." You laughed as you began to slowly skate on your own, eyeing Hoseok and how frightened he looked while hugging the sides and damn near doing the splits trying to move from point A to point B. Jin had obviously given up on reassuring the guy, leaving him to do whatever he pleased to do at this point. You had gained more confidence as time went on, skating on your own with Jimin popping by your side every now and then. It made the hour and a half go by rather quickly, but you all were starving by the end of it.

The group decided to walk down the street to a nearby boba cafe that apparently also had really good rice bowls and snacks. The walk wasn't too bad, but your jacket wasn't thick enough to mask the cold. Jimin had taken notice of you shivering, peeling off his coat without hesitation to put on your shoulders.

"Here." He says as you grab the coat to wrap it around you tightly.

"Aren't you cold?"

"I have this cardigan on, I'll survive. I'm used to this." He smiled down at you. Entering the cafe, you all had ordered your food and drinks and sat on the barstools near the wall. Jimin stood in front of you, while Jungkook and Hoseok sat on the remaining stools next to you. Jin and Taehyung pulled up some chairs from a nearby table, and you all had faced each other to talk about the day and everyone's whereabouts. Not to mention, there was a whole Hoseok roasting session due to his performance on the ice today. Jin had discussed his plans for his late birthday celebration coming up and demanded ever so politely that you grace him with your presence.

Getting home later that night, you felt exhausted to the bone. But, you had a ton of fun and really enjoyed spending more time with Jimin and his friends. The loft was quiet, only bringing in sounds from the cars out on the nearby streets. You revisited your photos and videos from the day, smiling to yourself at the memories you were able to capture, especially of Jimin enjoying himself and having fun with you.

[Y/N] 11:38: I know I say this time and time again, but I really do appreciate everything you've been doing for me, Jimin.

[Jimin] 11:39pm: You're welcome, cutiepie. Glad you're enjoying yourself. Get a good night's rest for me. I'll see you tomorrow.

undefined

youtube

Alexa, play: Good Company x Mahalia

#bts #bts fanfiction #jimin fanfiction #jimin #park jimin #pjm series #pjm x reader #off the grid #otg #writing #jimin x reader #jimin fluff

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nevertherose · 3 years

Text

One Hundred Seconds to Midnight: Chapters 1-8

"All Roman wanted to do was take Logan on a Doctor Who LARP within the Imagination.

But with Thomas's Sides at their figurative breaking point after the disastrous wedding, the Imagination may just have a few ideas of her own..."

Hello, Tumblr fanders, it has been a while since I've poked around in here...mostly because, I've been writing another story!

Do you like Sanders Sides? Do you like Doctor Who? Do you like the idea of the Sides playing Doctor Who characters? If so, this story was written especially for you.

I found that the process of cross-posting Mahogany and Teakwood across three platforms, one chapter at a time, involved a lot of me spending too many hours squinting at html code. Not especially fun. This time around, I've only been posting on AO3 and Wattpad.

But I wanted it to exist here as well.

So! Today I'm going to post the first half (in two posts, because apparently Tumblr has a post size limit, who knew?), all the chapters that are up so far. Then, when the whole story is up on the other platforms, I'll post the other half.

Of course, you could head to either AO3 or Wattpad, if you want to read as the chapters go up.

But if you're like me, and like to read stories in nice, big, juicy chunks...here you go:

One Hundred Seconds to Midnight

Chapter 1- The Eleventh Hour

“Who are you?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m still cooking.”

Midnight.

The witching hour.

Or was that 3AM? Roman wondered. No, that’s the devil’s hour…damn it, Virgil! You had to get them all mixed up!

It was nearly midnight on the Imagination’s border.

Moonlight, pearlescent and brighter than it could ever shine in the real world, streamed feather-light through the tall windows on Roman’s side of the Dream Palace. It made patterns of light and shadow over the black marble floors, made nighttime caricatures of the white ivory statues that lined the corridor.

Roman’s heeled boots echoed in the silence; Logan’s dress shoes, in comparison, were whisper-quiet.

Logan himself had been uncharacteristically quiet since they entered this place, Roman noted, glancing back. Normally by now the logical Side would have asked a million questions, made a million plans, or be several bullet points into a lecture about palace construction or the history of measurement units or some other nerdy, obscure subject.

And Roman would either pretend to be annoyed, or would interject witty counterpoints to make Logan stop and bluster and…

But not tonight.

Maybe he’s nervous about being here, Roman told himself, smoothing a hand over his red sash. He’s only pointed out a million times that Logic and the Imagination are anathema to one another. Maybe I should have planned something else…

Or maybe he’s just annoyed at you for dragging him out of bed in the literal middle of the night, a more insidious inner voice whispered. When you know he likes to keep a consistent sleep schedule.

Roman pressed his lips together, lifted his chin…he might be a mere facet of a single personality, but he was also a Prince, and Princes do not listen to inner demons. However, he also looked back for the dozenth time to make sure Logan was actually still following.

That was the only reason Roman kept looking back.

It had nothing to do with the way the translucent moonlight caught the other Side’s dark, immaculately kept hair, or glinted off his glasses.

In the real world, of course, and whenever they manifested near their Source, the Sides all had precisely the same face and body as Thomas. But deep inside the mind, where physical appearance was an illusion anyway, the Sides exercised much more control.

Thomas remained their base template, but each Side also tended to portray himself with features that Thomas associated with their core function. Like Patton’s fluffy curls and childlike freckles, or Virgil’s anxious, ever-changing eyeshadow, or Remus’s abominable comic-book villain mustache.

Like Deceit’s…no, Janus’s very real scales.

Damn that snake. Why did I have think of him now?

Hopefully the lying bananaconda had better things to do than pop up and spoil things tonight. Because tonight, Roman was finally fulfilling a longtime promise to Logan, and taking him on a grand adventure.

The thought made his heart flutter in anticipation, and he looked back again.

Logan within the mindscape was leaner than Thomas, an inch or two taller, and his neatly trimmed hair and intelligent eyes were almost black in the low light. His face was narrow and intense, the nose more aquiline, and he had a habit of standing straighter than any of the rest of them.

(A habit which constantly showed off his trim waist and chest muscles…not that Roman paid any attention to that…)

Roman, by contrast, was a bit shorter, but his shoulders were broad and he was more muscular, due to all the questing and sword fighting he did here in the Imagination. He wore his hair in longish disarray that paired devastatingly with his clean, square jawline; hair that could be turned loose and wild on quests, or pulled neatly back as befitted royalty. His hands were strong; with long, artistic fingers, as skilled at wielding pens and paintbrushes as they were at wielding swords.

He liked to think he was handsome.

He was also painfully aware of how little it mattered when a certain someone…ehem…never seemed to notice.

“Roman, I confess to still being a bit lost as to the purpose of this journey,” Logan said at last, breaking the high-ceilinged silence. “You said you were taking us on a…’lark’? If so, why are we wandering around the Dream Palace?”

“LARP,” Roman corrected, flashing him a smile. “L-A-R-P. It stands for live action role play, Specs.”

Logan’s nose wrinkled at the words “role play”, and Roman’s stomach lurched. He hates it, he hates the very idea of it, you haven’t even started yet and you’ve already failed…

“Oh, don’t make the scrunchy face!” he added, a bit louder than necessary, and waved a hand. “At least wait until you’ve seen it.”

Roman had only been planning this for weeks.

“You know, when you promised to take me on one of your ‘adventures’,” Logan said, making finger quotes. “I was not expecting to be roused from bed in the middle of the night.”

“That’s because this isn’t your average adventure.” Roman gestured around them. “I constructed a special dreamscape to get all the details right, and we can only use the Dream Palace when Thomas is asleep.” He turned and dared a wink. “Only the best for you, my detail-oriented friend.”

Logan adjusted his glasses.

“Let it be known that I am indulging your antics right now because you have, on occasion, had some good ideas. You will, in turn, have to indulge my skepticism.”

“I have no idea what you just said, but I’m gonna pretend it was a compliment,” Roman said with a wink, which Logan rolled his eyes at.

“Ah ha, here we are!”

Roman stopped at a set of iconic blue doors, nearly vibrating in excitement as he waited for Logan to recognize them.

The nerd did not disappoint.

“Roman…” Logan murmured, stepping forward to touch the white PULL TO OPEN sign. “They look just like the doors to the TARDIS. The attention to detail is exquisite. But why?”

“Because I’m taking you on a Doctor Who LARP!” Roman exclaimed, flapping his hands. “All we have to do is step through, and the Imagination will make us Doctor and companion, and whisk us away through all of time and space!”

Logan’s face was a mixture of confusion and curiosity. “Again…why?”

“Because it will be fun?” Roman bit his lip, looking at his toes. “I…I know you aren’t into swords and sorcery and dragon-witches and whatnot. I wanted this to be something you might actually enjoy.”

Logan’s brow furrowed, as it often did when he tried to process something that didn’t fit neatly into his graphed, notated, logical worldview.

Usually, it was an emotion.

“But won’t us enacting such an intense scenario at this time of night negatively affect Thomas’s sleep?” Logan asked.

“That’s the genius of adventuring in the Dream Palace,” Roman explained. “You can do hyperreal, immersive stuff, and if Thomas does happen to remember anything, he’ll just think he had a weird dream. The worst that could happen is he might post about it on Twitter.”

“Hmm. I can see you’ve thought this through. I am…flattered that you went to all the trouble,” Logan said in a quiet voice.

Roman had to bite back an ecstatic giggle.

Not…not because of the way his nerves skittered below his skin when his gaze caught Logan’s black eyes and soft expression. No, Roman was merely…excited! That someone like Logan appreciated his hard work!

It wasn’t like he was trying to impress anyone, like some middle school boy with, you know, a crush or whatever. For the last, well…two years.

…and then some.

Ugh. There was little point in denying his feelings; he’d only accidentally summon Janus and his oily smirk, and if that happened, Roman would most certainly die of embarrassment and that was not a lie, thank you very much.

The truth was, ever since Thomas had placed that jar of Crofters into Logan’s hands and inspired him to sing…not just rap, or begrudgingly harmonize, but actually sing…Roman had fallen, and fallen hard.

How could he not?

Logan’s words and ideas had always challenged him, pushed him to be smarter, sharper, better, just to keep up. Logan was the grounding anchor to his sails, the clarity to his excess. It used to infuriate Roman, the way he and Logan always came at problems from opposite sides and fought, sometimes bitterly, over the best way to meet in the middle.

But now?

Now Roman relished the way they traded words in a good fight, like blades in the hands of expert swordsmen. Logan, despite his dislike for anything fanciful, was a natural wordsmith…and Roman was a great lover of poetry. Even better, it seemed like Logan was also starting to enjoy their verbal sparring matches…

And then these last few months had happened.

The Decision, and Deceit, and the way that snake had let Remus out of the shadows to wreck havoc, and then the disastrous wedding itself…and Roman knew that Logan, through all of it, had been feeling pushed aside.

Goodness knew the logical Side hadn’t deserved to be shoved to the back of a courtroom, or relegated to a pixel-y shadow of himself before being removed from the discussion entirely. Worse, in both of those scenarios, Roman had either done nothing…or actively made things worse.

Roman knew he was guilty of letting his mouth run wild in his zeal to solve Thomas’s dilemmas…or in desperately hiding his true feelings. He knew his nicknames often came with barbs, his insults sometimes hit too close to home, that he often ignored or dismissed Logan’s cool, much-needed perspective.

He knew he needed to be better.

I’ll make it up to him tonight, Roman told himself as he laid a hand on the rough wooden blue doors and glanced back at Logan. The logical Side nodded, giving Roman a tiny burst of confidence.

He’ll get to play his favorite character and be his best nerdy self. This is going to be great!

Roman took a breath, and shoved open the TARDIS doors.

Chapter 2- Human Nature

“It’s all becoming clear now. The Doctor is doing the things you’d like to be doing.”

The blaring of a dozen sirens burst in Logan’s ears.

He was yanked across the threshold, Roman’s hand practically a vice around his wrist. Logan inhaled the sharp scent of metal and warm electronics, and a million figurative lights went off in his brain.

Being the physical incarnation of Logic, this wasn’t an entirely unfamiliar sensation.

The TARDIS shuddered…wait, TARDIS? We’re actually on the TARDIS?…under impact. Lights flashed; reds and greens over an ambiance of steely blue-gray, and Logan knew exactly what to do.

He shook free of Roman’s grip and strode to the center console…console, how do I know this is a console?…flipping several switches and turning the green dial to precisely 3.56 degrees to offset the radiation sheer from the M-class star they’d just spun past.

Because naturally they happened to be careening through an asteroid field.

The time rotor rose and dipped, Gallifreyan symbols whirling overhead; Logan adjusted shields and dodged rocks, striding confidently from station to station. He guided his TARDIS around the last large asteroid, one that easily could have smashed his beloved ship to bits, and then they were clear.

The TARDIS chimed reassuringly under his hands, relieved to be in empty space again.

Roman screamed.

The sound echoed off the metallic walls, causing Logan to whip around and nearly lose his balance.

“What happened?” he said sharply, leaving the console. The creative Side stood near the railing, staring down at himself in obvious dismay. “What’s wrong?”

“Look at me, Logan!” Roman said shrilly and gesturing at his body. “Just look!”

Logan examined his fellow Side. There were no obvious injuries he could see, no blood, no bruising, nothing that would merit a scream. There was just Roman, unfairly handsome as always.

(He still wasn’t sure how Roman managed that feat when they all literally, at least some of the time, had the same face.)

“I…don’t see a problem?” Logan asked slowly.

“I meant, look at what I’m wearing, Calculator Watch,” Roman snarled, and turned to yell nonsensically at the ceiling. “Am I a joke to you? When I said I wanted to be a companion, this is not what I meant!”

Logan focused on Roman’s clothing, which had shifted rather drastically since passing through those doors. His normal princely attire was replaced by a denim cutoff skirt, overalls, pink leggings, and a tight pink blouse that clung to his muscular chest and arms...

“I look ridiculous, don’t I?” Roman murmured, scuffing a combat boot against the metal grated floor. The motion drew Logan’s gaze again to the way the cutoffs hugged his hips and wow, that skirt was really short, wasn’t it?

And those tights, the way they accentuated Roman’s legs...

Logan frowned, his face feeling unusually warm. Why did he keep noticing these things? Of course Roman was more fit than the rest of them.

Perhaps it was simply that Logan didn’t usually see the evidence of it so…plainly.

Stop, Logan told himself sharply. You might be gay and allosexual, but that is no excuse to be disrespectful.

He cleared his throat.

“If I may, Roman?” he said, approaching, and made a closer examination of Roman’s outfit.

“I gather from your earlier ranting that you instructed the Imagination to cast you as one of the Doctor’s companions for the duration of this scenario?”

“Well, yeah,” Roman admitted, “but I was thinking someone like Jamie McCrimmon, or Rory Williams, or maybe even Jack Harkness!”

“You know there is some debate over whether Jack Harkness would be considered a proper ‘companion’, as he was never full time on the TARDIS,” Logan argued absently, still eying Roman’s ensemble.

It was attractive but also familiar; he just couldn’t quite place it…

“Neither was Clara Oswald at first, but nobody had a problem handing her that label from the start!” Roman folded his arms and Logan had to look away because wow, short sleeves and arms…

“Just because she was a girl and the writers obviously intended for her to be a love interest—”

“A girl, of course!” Logan snapped his fingers. “Roman, you are a companion. Specifically, you are Rose Tyler.”

“What?” Roman frowned, smoothing the overalls across his middle. “I…Hmm. You might actually be right.”

“Of course I am right.”

The creative Side scoffed at that, but continued to frown.

“I think it’s a good choice,” Logan added. “Rose is arguably one of the most beloved companions in new Who; bold, kind, and intelligent in her own way. She was pivotal to the Ninth, Tenth, and arguably the War Doctor’s character arcs.”

He laid a hand on Roman’s shoulder. (To convey reassurance, of course. Not because he suddenly wanted to touch…)

“Hers are not the worst shoes you could be given to fill,” Logan said, “idiomatically speaking.”

“Only you would drop a word like ‘idiomatically’ in everyday conversation,” Roman grumbled, but some of the spark returned to his caramel eyes.

“But look at you!” Roman said in a brighter voice, gesturing. “All proper and Doctor-ish. At least the Imagination let you keep your tie, or, whatever that thing is around your neck.”

Logan glanced down at himself for the first time.

His sensible polo and jeans had become a clean-cut black suit, with a warm grey waistcoat, a crisp white undershirt, and a silver pocket watch. A navy cravat was knotted around his throat.

His knee-length suit jacket was also black, with a striking cerulean lining.

He retrieved a slender, metallic something from the jacket’s inner pocket: of course, the Doctor’s signature sonic screwdriver. Specifically, the Tenth Doctor’s screwdriver.

Logan chuckled, remembering all the times he’d ranted to Roman about how impractical and flashy Eleven’s screwdriver became, and don’t even get him started on Twelve’s, it was practically a lightsaber…

“Interesting,” he murmured, stretching his arms to turn in a slow circle, letting the jacket flare. “Fashionably, I appear to be a cross between the Eighth and Twelfth Doctors, which I appreciate, as they are the two most sensible dressers of the bunch. And by the way, Roman, this is a called a cravat, not a tie…”

He’d lifted hands to his neck but the words died on his tongue.

Roman had summoned a mirror and was, quite literally, checking himself out. He swayed his hips, tilted one toward and then away from the mirror, pouted, did a tongue smile, and…and Logan realized he had been watching for more than a socially acceptable length of time.

He swallowed hard and cleared his throat again. But he was saved from having to speak by a loud crackling at the center console.

Both Sides rushed over, Logan seizing the TV screen and pulling it down. Gray static skittered over the polished surface. He flipped two switches and turned a dial, trying to zero in on the signal.

“I meant to ask earlier…how do you know what to do?” Roman asked, tilting his head. “You were piloting before I think you even realized we were on a TARDIS in the first place.”

Logan froze in the middle of winding one of the cranks.

“I…I really do not know.” In fact, the more he thought about it, the less sense any of the controls made. “Now that you’ve drawn my attention to it, you are correct: rationally, I should not know the function of any of these…gizmos.” He gestured at the crank he’d been winding.

“Yet somehow my hands just…know.”

Roman leaned casually onto the console.

“When I built this LARP, I gave the Imagination quite a bit of leeway in how it wanted to construct our characters,” he said. “I’m thinking it took things a step further than costume changes, like making me the companion it thinks I most resemble instead of the companion I wanted to be.”

Roman bit his lip as though troubled, then clearly shook himself out of it.

“And it must have imparted some of the Doctor’s knowledge upon me.” Logan added, not sure how he felt about the Imagination having such a direct influence over his mind. He supposed if it didn’t get too invasive, and was confined to this one night, he could deal with it.

It had proven useful so far, after all.

Roman shot Logan a fierce grin.

“Indeed! So engage that big Doctor brain and let’s see who’s trying to call us. Allons-y, adventure awaits!”

“You know ‘allons-y’ is my line, right?” Logan said dryly.

He had to use his screwdriver on the screen before the picture came clear. The stream of static acquired the cadence of a voice…and then a disturbingly familiar face stared back at his own, looking equally shocked.

Roman, for the second time since entering the TARDIS, let out a bloodcurdling scream.

Chapter 3- The Witch’s Familiar

“If you’re going to take my stick, do me the courtesy of actually killing me. Teamwork is all about respect.”

Janus had just settled into his favorite chair with a mug of chamomile tea and a political science book when he was yanked…rather rudely, he might add…onto the deck of a spaceship.

He sighed, and dismissed his drink.

When one lived in the same mindspace as the literal embodiment of chaos, one unfortunately learned to expect such interruptions.

“REMUS!” he roared, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Did I not specifically ask to be LEFT ALONE tonight?”

Silence.

Deeply annoyed now, Janus took a moment to look around himself. This was not a normal spaceship; no windows, for one, and it was laid out in levels around a translucent column at the very center. His mismatched eyes followed the center rotor up and down, his mind almost placing it…

Something clumsily rose up from the deck with a clatter, causing Janus to summon his crook with a yell.

Only…the object that dropped into his hand wasn’t smooth wood, but a slender metal instrument just barely longer than his hand. A…sonic screwdriver? What the actual heck?

Well. It was what he had.

“Get back!” He pointed the instrument at the…figure…who still slowly climbed to its feet. It was an android or robot of some sort; humanoid, and the same kind of weirdly familiar as the ship.

“Janus?” the robot said, tilting its head.

Janus froze, all the scales standing up on his body. That was…that was Patton’s voice. Flat, mechanical, but unmistakable.

After all, Patton was the only Side who consistently called Janus by name.

“Patton?” Janus whispered.

“Oh, that was so weird-feeling! Thank goodness I’m not all by myself,” Robot-Patton said, putting a hand over his…well, where his heart should have been…in obvious relief. “But why are we both suddenly on the TARDIS?”

Janus drew in a sharp breath.

Of course, he should have recognized the stupid time rotor immediately. He’d never admit it to any of them, but he was as much of a Doctor Who nerd as Logan or Roman, sometimes going so far as to spy on them when they argued over episodes together.

To learn their arguing styles, of course.

Not because he had any desire to join those discussions.

And now, looking at Patton with a sinking feeling in his stomach, Janus deduced exactly what he was: a Mondasian Cyberman. They were older and cruder in design than the reboot versions…no wonder he hadn’t put a finger on it right away.

That wasn’t really the issue.

“REMUS!” Janus shouted again, more angrily this time. Bad enough his pleasant evening of solitude had been interrupted by…whatever this was. But putting the sweetest, most emotional Side into a canonically unemotional shell, a robot?

That was cruel. That was insulting.

It was too far, even for Remus.

“Janus, is everything okay?” Patton asked, coming closer. Janus shivered at the sound of that warm voice coming from a blank metallic face with empty eyes.

“Do you…feel all right?” Janus said in a hesitant voice.

“I’m a little chilly, but otherwise I’m in ship shape!” the other quipped, giggling. “Get it? Cause we’re on a ship?”

Is it…is it possible that he doesn’t know?

“Hilarious,” Janus deadpanned, but inside his thoughts spun.

He sensed they were in a dream construct within the Imagination, which meant this had to be Remus’s doing. Remus, who reveled in gore, despair, disturbing imagery, angst, and who was in charge of Thomas’s nightmares.

Remus could…and would, given the chance…recreate the experience of being a Cyberman down to the Last. Grim. Detail.

Maybe he hadn’t meant to ensnare Patton specifically to fill this role…Remus didn’t generally pull other Sides in for nightmares, come to think of it…but meanwhile, Janus didn’t want to find out what this might do to Patton’s head.

Worse, it was becoming clear that Patton was somehow oblivious to the state of his own body; he’d used his metallic hands to clutch at his metallic chest and found nothing wrong with either. He couldn’t hear the electronic rasp in his own voice, or the heavy clanging of his steps on the grated floor.

Should Janus say something?

Would Patton believe him if he did?

Ever since Thomas’s near mental breakdown after the disastrous wedding, Patton and Janus had orbited around each other in a state of tenuous truce. They talked now, sometimes, and those talks didn’t always end in arguments. Patton began to leave space for him by Thomas’s blinds when he was called up, and he…and by extension Thomas…occasionally actually sought his input.

But Janus, well.

Janus was still a liar.

The others still called him Deceit, either by accident (Logan) or out of spite (Virgil). Then there was Roman, who invented a colorful, wounding ego-jab for him every day, and Remus, whose fond nicknames tended to double as sex jokes.

Having no other real allies in the mindscape, Janus really, really didn’t want to screw up his tenuous alliance with Patton. Why sabotage his figurative “seat at the table” over one of Remus’s stupid nightmares?

Patton would assume Janus was slipping back into his old ways, lying just because he could, and Janus would never be able to prove otherwise. And later Patton would make that sour, pinched face he always made when he was disappointed, the one that made Janus want to crawl into a hole…

So.

Best to keep his observations close to the chest, for now.

“Do you have any idea what we’re doing here?” Janus asked, striding to the center console. True to dream logic, the controls made no sense and simultaneously made perfect sense.

Patton shrugged; a strange, clanky motion of his shoulders.

Janus sighed. “Although Remus has dragged me into dreams before, even he generally understands the concept of consent.” He casually flapped a hand. “And he always leaves you ‘light sides’ alone.”

“Honestly, this doesn’t feel like a nightmare to me,” Patton said, nearly making Janus choke. The Cyberman clanked over to stand by the console.

“It’s too clean,” Patton added. “Roman let me glimpse Remus’s side of the Imagination once, not long after he showed himself to Thomas, and it was…”

Patton trailed off.

“Fragmented? Chaotic? Disturbing?” Janus supplied.

“Sure, we’ll go with that,” Patton said quietly. “This,” he waved a hand around, “feels more like Roman’s work.”

“I suppose you would know.” Janus ran a thoughtful thumb over his face, tracing the ridge that ran from the corner of his mouth to his ear.

“And I would almost have to agree,” he added slowly. “If this was a nightmare, surely something ghastly would have happened by now. But my being pulled into one of Roman’s creations makes even less sense. He literally cannot stand me.”

“Maybe this is one of those dreams Thomas has sometimes after binge watching a show?” Patton suggested. “When there’s enough material in short term memory that the twins don’t get much input? Did Thomas binge a season of Doctor Who yesterday or something?”

And to think the others still view you as stupid, or slow-witted.

Janus bit back a smile.

“It’s a good theory, Patton, but no,” he said. “Thomas hasn’t really binged on much of anything lately.”

Patton ducked his head.

“You don’t…you don’t have to rub it in, you know,” he said lowly, the metallic rasp grating on Janus’s ears. “You and Logan have both made it pretty clear that I’ve been too strict with Thomas’s time.”

Janus fought to keep his expression neutral, but his stomach twisted.

Damn it.

Leave it to Patton to find guilt where none was meant. Even if Janus claimed he hadn’t meant it like that, Patton would probably not believe him.

Patton tilted his metal head as he examined Janus’s face.

“Did you know you have a mustache now? And a little goatee?”

“I have a what?” Janus felt at his face and groaned, his gloved fingers tugging at hair that most certainly did not belong on his face; with the scales, it probably looked hideous.

His entire outfit had altered in subtle ways, he realized. His usual plum tunic and trousers were now a brown suit and waistcoat ensemble, crossed with yellow pinstripes, with a black collared undershirt. A brown, knee-length suit jacket replaced his caplet, with subtle gold trimming. His yellow gloves were unchanged, thank goodness, and his hat…?

His hands flew up to his head and found something perched over his hair, sitting at an angle. Janus yanked down a screen at the console and stared. His beloved bowler had shrunk into a tiny, flat, rakish thing with a wide brim, festooned with a cluster of yellow rosebuds and black beads.

“What on earth, Remus?” he grumbled, turning his head from side to side. Well, if he had to be honest, pinstripes and a hatinator weren’t a terrible look.

“Well, if we’re on a TARDIS, I guess you’re supposed to be the Doctor,” Patton pointed out. “Which would make me your companion.”

Janus stroked his goatee and examined their surroundings in more detail. But am I a Doctor? he wondered. And if so, which one?

And whose TARDIS is this?

Because while it was clear they were on a TARDIS…what other class of spaceship had a time rotor?…he wasn’t almost certain this was not the TARDIS.

Every corner of the Doctor’s ship, no matter which face it belonged to, tended to overflow with bright, shiny, eclectic whimsy. By contrast, this one was plain, stark, with exposed metal beams and sharp angles.

Too dark, too full of shadows.

An awful suspicion rose up in his mind.

He crossed to one of the bookshelves, ignoring Patton’s soft inquiry, and his jaw clenched. There was the Necronomicon, shelved between the Liber Inducens in Evangelium Aeternum and The Black Scrolls of Rassilon, Book of Vile and its Black Appendix, The Ambuehl Lores and the Insidium of Astrolabus.

Janus finally looked at the sonic device he’d been holding all this time; seeing now that it wasn’t a screwdriver at all, and thanked every god he knew that he hadn’t tried to use it on Patton earlier.

It was a sonic laser.

Once again, even in a stupid, nonsensical dream, Janus had been cast as the villain.

His fist had collided with the bookshelf before he even realized he was moving, books falling to the floor. He punched it again, and again, until a cool rigid hand closed around his wrist and yanked him back.

“Janus, Janus, stop!” Patton yelled in his ear.

Janus wrenched his arm away and stalked back to the console, running gloved fingers over his scales, pushing them up and smoothing them down. The familiar sensation grounded him.

“You were right, Patton,” he threw over his shoulder. “This is definitely one of Roman’s dreams, and he definitely fucking hates me.”

Patton’s heavy footsteps clattered behind him.

“Language. And how do you know that,” he asked. “…Doctor?”

Janus whirled, lips curled in a snarl.

“I am not the Doctor, Patton, and we are not on the TARDIS.” He spread his arms to encompass them both, gesturing to the dimly lit spaceship. “Look around. Look at me!”

He turned, slowly, and eyed his mustached visage in the dark view screen.

“Clearly, I am the Master.”

Chapter 4- Nightmare in Silver

“You think he knows what he’s doing?”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far.”

Patton rested his arms against the console and sighed.

Once again, someone I care about is upset, and I don’t know what to do. I guess I should be used to it by now.

It didn’t help that it was so cold in this TARDIS. He folded his arms around his middle, which felt strange and heavy, to combat the chill that seemed to have settled deep in his bones.

Janus stalked past again, grumbling to himself.

“Of course the Prince would pull me into one of his little ‘adventures’ without my consent. He probably needed an antagonist. And naturally the slippery snake would have been the first person to come to mind!”

Patton opened his mouth…though he had no idea what he was going to say…but Janus drowned him out.

“Come on, Roman!” he shouted, throwing his yellow-clad hands up. “You’ve had your fun. Yes, I’m evil, I’m the villain, I’m the bad guy, blah blah. Let’s have our epic confrontation or whatever nonsense you have planned, as I would very much like to get back to my reading sometime tonight.”

Silence.

Patton didn’t know what Janus was expecting.

“Look, maybe we should just play along for now?” Patton said aloud, wincing when Janus turned his murderous expression on him. The deceptive Side had such deep, cutting golden eyes, the human one so much darker than the other…cynical eyes that were, ironically, almost impossible to lie to.

They’d see straight through it.

“It takes a liar to know a liar.”

The glare quickly softened, though, which in Patton’s opinion said a lot about how far Janus had come.

“And how do you propossse we ‘play along’?” Janus said, hissing his s’s in frustration.

“Well, we’ve kinda decided this is Roman’s dream, right? And since we’re in his part of the Imagination, we know he won’t let anything bad happen to us…”

Patton trailed off at Janus’s pained expression, reminded of just how badly Janus and Roman’s last encounter had gone.

“What are you, a middle school librarian?”

“Thank god you don’t have a mustache.”

And I just stood there and did nothing…no, I can’t dwell on that right now. Patton shook himself out of the memory.

It was surprisingly easy; even his emotions felt a little heavy and muted. He supposed he wasn’t used to being in a dreamscape; unlike Roman, who played in them all the time.

I know Roman, Patton reasoned. He might hold a grudge for a while, but he wouldn’t actually be out to hurt Janus.

Right?

“So, if we’re on a time ship, on some kind of adventure leading up to a confrontation like you said, the first thing we’d have to do is figure out where we need to go,” Patton finished, shrugging.

Janus pursed his lips…which looked downright weird with a mustache and goatee, almost making Patton giggle…and began pushing buttons on the console.

“You are definitely incorrect, Patton,” he said, pulling up another screen and flipping a few switches. “If I have been cast as the villain in this ridiculous charade, that means Roman is likely prancing around as the Doctor right now, on the proper TARDIS. Which, as the Doctor’s nemesis, I should be able to contact…ha!”

The screen burst into static.

“Doctor, oh Doctor, do you read me?” Janus crooned, and if Patton hadn’t known just how angry he was in that moment…well, he would have never known.

Janus had tucked it away entirely, in half a second's time.

That’s the scary thing about him, Patton realized uneasily. He’s smart, nearly as smart as Logan. Smart enough to run circles around me, that’s for sure. And he’s easily as good an actor as Roman.

Those attributes, combined with his naturally manipulative nature, made it difficult to trust him.

Patton was trying.

He’d been trying since the wedding, and well, since everything else that had happened. (Patton still cringed when Thomas encountered even a picture of a frog.) He’d done a lot of thinking and growing that day (in more ways than one!), and he’d come to a disturbing, but inevitable conclusion.

Janus wasn’t evil.

He never had been.

Just like Virgil had never been evil. Mean, sure; and sarcastic, and spiteful…but at his core, Virgil had wanted what was best for Thomas.

They all did.

And then there was the uncomfortable corollary to that: Patton, despite his best efforts, despite his core Purpose…Patton wasn’t entirely and automatically good.

Two weeks ago, Janus had proven beyond a doubt that Thomas needed him…ruthlessly, cuttingly, but no one could say he hadn’t made his point. It had been Patton who’d inadvertently pushed Thomas to the brink of a breakdown, and Janus who had to pull them all back.

Despite Patton’s unease, and the little voice in his head telling him that Deceit couldn’t be trusted, could never truly be trusted because it was in his nature to deceive…Patton remembered how they’d pushed Virgil so hard he decided to duck out, and how much of a tragedy that could have been if they hadn’t all intervened to bring him back.

With a pang of guilt, he pictured Thomas lying on the floor, crushed under the metaphorical weight of everything Patton needed him to do to keep from being a bad person…

He would not make those mistakes again.

If Virgil could learn to work with them instead of against them, so could Janus. If Patton could learn to recognize when his own Purpose did more harm than good, so could Janus.

Patton had to believe that.

He’d made too many mistakes lately to believe otherwise.

The screen in Janus’s hands cleared to reveal…

“What? Logan??” Janus exclaimed, as a scream echoed somewhere in the background.

“D—Janus?” Logan countered, then looked over his shoulder. “Roman, for the love of Archimedes, will you stop shrieking? I cannot hear.”

The screaming cut off and Roman’s fuming face squished into the frame with Logan.

“Deceit! I should have known you would show up to ruin this!” he managed to shout before Logan shoved him away.

“Ruin…I’m sorry, what?” Janus glanced at Patton, looking honestly confused. “Is he roleplaying right now? We assumed this scenario was Roman’s creation.”

Onscreen, Logan placed his whole hand against Roman’s mouth to prevent him from interrupting.

“It is. But to my understanding, it was only supposed to involve myself and Roman, and…wait. You said ’we’.” Logan peered around. “Who else is with you?”

Patton started to wave, but his view was blocked by Janus bending close to the screen to whisper something. Suspicion flared in Patton’s stomach; old, familiar, but after the talk he’d just given himself, he purposefully pushed it down.

I won’t assume he’s being shifty unless he actually gives me a reason to.

Lifting his chin, he crept forward until he was next to Janus’s shoulder.

“Hey, Logan,” he said brightly, waving.

“Ah…hello, Patton,” Logan squeaked after a moment, his eyes still wide.

“Wait, Patton’s there? With the snake?” Roman’s voice yelled from the background, and then there was Roman’s face again.

“Patton?” Roman said, narrowing his eyes. “But why are you—?”

Both faces disappeared for a moment as Logan yanked Roman out of frame. Patton thought he heard a rapid, hushed conversation. He glanced at Janus, who only shrugged, looking at puzzled as Patton felt.

Roman’s face reappeared, solemn and deeply annoyed.

“Patton,” he said, and hesitated. “D—Janus. You two…well, you’re not supposed to be here.”

“Very reassuring,” Janus quipped.

“This was only supposed to be a two-person adventure: Doctor plus companion. I have no idea why the Imagination brought you both in as well; I certainly didn’t tell it to.”

“Aw, that’s okay, kiddo,” Patton started gently. “It’s not your fault—”

“Oh, sweetie.” Janus folded his arms. “I’m sorry, but that’s bull. Putting me in the Master’s shoes? Are we seriously going to pretend the Side who unashamedly hates me had nothing to do with that?”

“I didn’t!” Roman argued, his voice going high. “You really think I wanted you here, in any capacity?”

“Deceit…er, Janus, you are being unnecessarily antagonistic, and as such, unhelpful,” Logan cut in with his low, reassuring voice. “But Roman, it might behoove us to consider the role of subconscious influence. You may not have intended to pull the others in, and yet here they are.”

Roman looked at Logan, aghast, and Patton almost flinched at the raw hurt in his caramel eyes. The creative Side backed out of frame.

“So you’re on his side, too,” his voice said quietly. “Is that how it is?”

“I am not on anyone’s side,” Logan argued, raising his hands. “We are all currently in this situation together, and as such—”

Whatever he’d been about to say was cut off by another garbled transmission, taking over the screen and blocking out Logan’s face with crackly, purple static. A gray, snarling face flashed out of the haze, making Patton shriek in surprise and even Janus took a step back.

Then it was gone, dissolving back to static…and the sound of someone laughing filled the connection.

“Hellooooo, nurse,” a familiar sing-song voice crooned. “Did you miss me?”

Chapter 5- The Long Game

“You can’t just read the guide book, you’ve got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers. Or is that just me?”

Logan sighed.

He knew that voice; they all did. Even Thomas, unfortunately.

“Remus,” Roman hissed.

The mustached Side filled the screen, grinning madly. “Boo!”

“Get out of my scenario,” Roman said, his eyes flashing. “If you know what’s good for you.”

“Your scenario?” Remus echoed, faux-outrage in his expression. “Yours? The Dream Palace is my domain, too, brother, whether you like it or not.” He leaned closer, letting his nostrils and a single radioactive green eye fill the screen. “Did you really think you could keep me out?”

Roman made a sound of disgust deep in his throat.

“Am I to assume, then, that you are responsible for bringing in the other Sides?” Logan asked, careful to keep his voice even. Remus thrived on getting a rise out of people.

“Of course he is!” Roman snapped, throwing up his hands. “He loves to ruin things, especially my things.”

“Now why would having the others here ruin anything, brother?” Remus asked in a sickly sweet voice, propping his head on his hand. “Unless you intended for this nighttime romp between you and Logan to be private?”

Roman sputtered and glanced at Logan, red-faced, as Remus giggled.

“It was meant to be so, yes,” Logan supplied, unsure why Remus would find that funny…or why Roman would find it embarrassing.

“As amusing as this all is—” Janus’s crooning voice cut through the speaker.

“Great. You’re still here, snake?” Roman snarked, his arms folded around himself.

“We’re all listening, kiddo,” Patton’s metallic voice said.

Roman’s lips always curl into a pout when he is angry, Logan thought, eyeing him without turning his head, and he gets a little wrinkle between his eyebrows. Why…why am I noticing such things all of a sudden?

Maybe it was the stress, or the unfamiliar environment.

Or maybe it was the Rose Tyler outfit.

That skirt ought to be illegal.

Logan deliberately focused on the screen, his cheeks warm.

“So this is kinda new,” Patton went on, “all of us actually talking—”

“If Remus is responsible,” Janus cut in again, “then perhaps he would be so kind as to explain the objective of this late night group therapy session?”

Despite the biting sarcasm, Logan did appreciate Janus’s insistence that they get to the point, even if it did mean talking over Patton…

Speaking of, why would Remus have paired Patton with Janus?

Surely he should have grouped Patton with Logan and Roman, and put Virgil with Janus? Or…maybe not, given how Virgil hisses if Janus so much as enters the same room.

Ugh. Interpersonal drama. Logan was thoroughly sick of trying to keep track of who carried a grudge against whom, especially when it seemed to change from day to day.

And on top of that, why would Remus make Patton a Cyberman? None of these decisions make any sense…

“Right?” Roman agreed softly next to him, and Logan realized he’d said that last bit out loud.

“If anything, I should have been the unfeeling killer robot,” Logan murmured.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Specs.” Roman shot him a strange look, both warm and troubled. “And frankly I don’t give a stinky rat’s ass about my stinky rat brother’s sick thought process. What I want to know is why Deceit doesn’t want us to mention it around Patton?”

Logan, who was still mentally stuck on rodents and donkeys…Roman’s metaphors were always something else…shook his head slightly.

“There’s no logical way Patton is unaware of his condition,” Logan pointed out. “So I can only guess he wishes to protect Patton’s feelings on the matter, by not allowing us to talk about it in front of him.” He shrugged when Roman’s frown deepened. “Those two have been getting along much better these last few weeks.”

“I think you’re giving the snake too much credit,” Roman muttered. “Even after he impersonated you, Logan? C’mon. It has to be something else.”

Logan bit back a sigh.

He doesn’t understand, he thought guiltily. Because he doesn’t know what really happened…

“This is unacceptable, Deceit,” Logan snapped, flinging the crook away from his body. “I was in the middle of a discussion—”

“He won’t listen to you,” Deceit had said, and there was no sarcasm or snark in his voice.

“Patton asked for my opinion!”

“And he dismissed you from the conversation the moment that opinion went against his preconceived notions!” Deceit snapped back.

Silence.

Logan could hear the others still talking, out in the real world…without him…as the misty dregs of subconscious curled around their feet.

“You tricked him.” Logan folded his arms. “He was scared and off balance and you gave him an out.”

“I didn’t make him take it!”

Deceit sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Logan. You know he is wrong on this. You know what this is doing to Thomas. His unquestioning, black-and-white, juvenile morality; it’s not working anymore. Thomas needs to grow up, and Patton is not letting him.”

Logan bit his lip.

“Logan.” Deceit moved closer, dismissing his crook into mist and setting both gloved hands on Logan’s shoulders. Logan stiffened.

“Logic. Please. I am…no good at this.” Deceit dropped his head, his hat obscuring his eyes. “I operate through deceit because that is the only way I can make them acknowledge me.”

“They don’t acknowledge you because you operate through deceit,” Logan pointed out.

“A perfect catch 22.” Deceit let out a bitter laugh. “But a snake cannot change its scales and I don’t…I have tried everything I know. I cannot fix this from the shadows. I am out of ideas.”

A strange thought entered Logan’s mind.

“You care. You care what happens to Thomas.”

Deceit looked up, his mismatched eyes glittering with stinging intensity. “I am the literal representation of selfishness. Why the hell else would I go to all this trouble if I didn’t care?”

“Well…” Logan trailed off, troubled.

He’d let the others get to him, he realized in that moment. He’d let Roman get to him, with his talk of evil and Dark Sides and how they were always trying to tempt Thomas off the right path.

But…they were all part of Thomas, even the so-called “dark sides”.

Of course they wanted what was best for him…well, what Remus wanted at any given moment was debatable…even if they didn’t always go about it in the healthiest of ways.

Deceit had laughed then, high pitched and bitter.

“Really? Really? Even you think so low of me?”

“You are manipulating me right now.” Logan frowned. “You are using my concern for Thomas to make me trust you.”

“Yes! I am!” Deceit got in his face, fangs flashing. “I am a manipulative bastard because that is the lens through which my Source perceives me. But that doesn’t matter because you, Logic; you see through me, always have. And you know perfectly well that logically, any objection you have to my personality or my methods does not change the fact that I. Am. Right.”

He punctuated each word with a poke to Logan’s chest.

“Deceit—” Logan started.

“Janus.”

“What?”

Deceit sighed. “My name. My…real name. It’s Janus.”

Logan blinked. He knew the mythology, of course: Janus, keeper of doorways and thresholds, looking simultaneously to the past and future. Two faces. Seeing things from every angle.

Self-preservation.

“It suits you,” Logan said quietly.

Tension bled out of Janus’s shoulders, a stiffness Logan hadn’t even realized was there until it was gone.

“Thank you.”

“Why am I here…Janus?” Logan asked, glancing away. “What do you need from me?”

Janus looked at him intently.

“Let me speak to them as you.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, and Janus sighed, waving a hand.

“I know, I know, more deceit, more lies, but—”

“No, it’s…” Logan pressed his lips together. “You already pointed it out. They don’t listen to me, either.”

The bitter twist that accompanied those words was becoming an all too familiar sensation in Logan’s chest.

Janus snorted.

“Oh, they do. Eventually. They heeded your advice on how to deal with Remus.”

Logan shrugged uncomfortably.

“Look,” Janus added, “honest people know how to tell the truth, but liars…” he smirked, not especially nicely. “We know how to wield the truth to accomplish an end. I can pull Thomas and the others out of this rut, but they have to be receptive to my tugging on the reins.”

Logan pursed his lips.

“You won’t fool them. If you recall, you tried to impersonate me once already and barely lasted two minutes.”

“I didn’t have your blessing.”

Janus fixed Logan with his intense mismatched eyes again, and held out a hand.

Logan stared at it, torn.

This was Deceit, the master liar: Thomas’s entire capacity for deception condensed into a single, snake-faced Side. How could Logan possibly trust him to not make things worse, after all the falsehoods, the impersonations, how he’d manipulated them all in one way or another to get his way?

But…as much as Logan, personally, didn’t understand why that callback had been so important to Thomas…he could not dismiss the fallout Thomas had suffered as a result of missing it. The decision to attend the wedding had turned out to be a bad one.

Patton had been wrong to insist upon it over Janus’s objections, and over Roman’s.

Those were just the facts.

Janus sighed.

“I’ll unmask myself when an opportunity arises, if that would help,” he offered, and to Logan’s shock, slowly tugged off a glove. “I won’t…I won’t let it go on as long as it did with Patton.”

He offered his now bare hand to Logan again.

Out in the real world, Logan could hear Patton’s increasingly desperate and ridiculous responses to Thomas’s and Roman’s questions, and winced. Janus did the same.

“Please,” was all he said.

Logan sighed…it really couldn’t get any worse, could it?…and shook Janus’s hand.

In his TARDIS, Logan let out the sigh he was holding back.

He might have personal, concrete evidence that Janus wasn’t evil, but he also knew Janus had wounded Roman, badly, that day. The creative Side was simply not currently capable of viewing any situation involving Janus with any sort of objectivity.

Passionate, sensitive people like Roman tended to have an unfortunate habit of hanging onto grudges.

As Logic, Logan needed to remember that.

“Oh, all right,” Remus said, his voice crackling over the connection. “Since you’re all here—”

“Actually, Remus, we’re not all here,” Patton’s voice pointed out. “You all know perfectly well who we’re missing; we’ve done this before.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “‘Where is Anxiety?’” he quoted.

“You mean Tickle Me Emo isn’t with one of you?” Remus asked, looking delighted. “Oh dear, oh dear. Is he lost?”

“I mean, TARDISes are huge,” Roman pointed out. “He could be somewhere on one of our ships.” His voice dropped again. “I’ll bet Deceit stashed him away, because we all know how he hates Virgil.”

“Excuse you,” Janus’s voice interrupted, annoyed. “It is Virgil who hates me, not the other way around.”

“Let’s both scan our ships,” Logan suggested, hoping to head off an argument. Honestly, if Roman and Janus didn’t stop picking fights with one another, he was going to lose his marbles.

The scans pulled up nothing.

“Oh well,” Remus said with a shrug. “Guess the emo gets to miss out.”

Janus grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “lucky”.

“All right, here’s what’s going to happen.” Remus leaned close to the screen. “I’ve crash landed on a lovely snowbound planet that’s crawling with psychotic tin cans who like to roll around yelling ‘exterminate’.”

“Daleks? A snowbound planet, so not Skarro, but where else…” Logan narrowed his eyes.

“He’s on the Dalek asylum,” Roman said lowly. “That was one of the episodes I had in mind when I plotted this adventure.”

“Very good, brother.” Remus clapped his hands. “And up there in orbit is a ship full of people who’d really like to blow up the whole planet. Oh, woe is me, whatever shall I—”

“Save it,” Roman snapped. “You’d probably enjoy getting blown up.”

“Hmm, true.” Remus’s green eyes sharpened. “Think of the mess! Little bits of intestines floating through space, long pink ropey—”

“Or?” Logan interjected, before Remus gave Patton nightmares.

“Or you have to come rescue me!” Remus’s teeth flashed as he grinned. “Because otherwise it’s nighty-night for me and all the other aliens in the asylum.”

There was a beat of silence.

“As terrible as that sounds,” Janus drawled, sounding anything but worried, “given that none of this is real, and at least one of us would very much rather not be here at all…why exactly should your plight concern us?”

Logan secretly agreed, but felt his stomach clench when he glanced at Roman’s troubled face. None of this was real…right? Would something concretely bad happen to Remus if the planet he inhabited was blown up?

Surely not.

This was only a dream. Perhaps, then, Roman was merely upset that his twin had usurped his adventure for the night?

“Also.” Remus buffed his fingernails. “You should know that the Imagination will only release us if we complete the objective. In other words,” and he sneered, purple-shadowed eyes glittering, “we’re all stuck in this scenario until we’re all reunited.”

Remus giggled as Logan exchanged a shocked look with Roman.

“I don’t believe you. This was my dream,” Roman said darkly. “And I’ve just about had enough of all this!”

He stepped back and snapped his fingers with a flourish. Frowning, he did it again, and again, his face growing paler with each try.

“Roman, what—” Logan started.

“I can’t end it,” Roman whispered, still snapping. “He’s right. He’s…he’s sealed off the dream’s boundaries somehow. Remus!”

This he roared at the screen.

“Keeping Thomas trapped in a dream state is going too far, Remus!” he yelled. “I don’t care what kind of demented game you want to play with us, but we don’t bring Thomas into it.”

“Oh, you think I created an unbreakable dreamscape?” Remus snapped. “You let the Imagination have too much reign, my dear brother, and now neither of us have the power to end the dream ourselves. I estimate we have about ten hours before Thomas wakes up.”

For a moment, all Logan could hear was the soft whoosh of the time rotor, and Roman’s shallow, angry breathing at his shoulder.

“So I suggest you all pilot your ships to these coordinates,” Remus added, and a series of numbers and strange symbols flashed up on one of the smaller console screens. “And get started.”

The main screen blipped, and Remus’s face was replaced by an expressionless Cyberman and a snake-faced Side who looked extremely pale under his scales.

“Well,” Logan stated. “This is a problem.”

Chapter 6- Asylum of the Daleks

“You’re going to fire me at a planet? That’s your plan? I get fired at a planet and expected to fix it?”

“In fairness, that is slightly your M.O.”

“Don’t be fair to the Daleks when they’re firing me at a planet.”

The familiar wheeze of the TARDIS materializing filled Roman’s ears as he waited by the doors. Logan joined him a moment later.

“Ready?” he asked, smoothing a hand over his cravat.

He looks good as the Doctor, Roman thought, eying the slimming black and navy, the graceful arc that hand made as it adjusted a pair of glasses…

He shook himself out of his distraction. “Let’s do this, nerd.”

Logan opened the doors and the two stepped out…not onto the asylum, but onto a spaceship. Shiny copper terraces lined the vast walls in curving rows, leading the eye up to a domed ceiling with a clear view of black, star-studded space. Like a huge amphitheater, or stadium. Even Roman had to admit, the Imagination had really outdone itself on the realism.

Of course, given that the ship was filled with hundreds upon hundreds of Daleks calling for violence…realism wasn’t exactly comforting at the moment.

“Surprise, surprise, I don’t see my stupid brother,” Roman commented over the dull roar of the crowd.

“No. But I recognize where we are.” Logan waved a hand. “You were right about Remus’s location; this ship is from the episode ‘Asylum of the Daleks’, in Season 7. If we are following the basic plotline, Remus is likely somewhere down on the planet below, and we will be sent to him in due course. However…I am curious as to why all the other aliens are here.”

Roman looked around again, seeing that Logan was right. Daleks formed the majority of the crowd, but he also spotted Zygons, Sontarans, Silurians, other Cybermen, Ice Warriors…and quite a few aliens from older seasons he couldn’t remember the names of.

(Logan probably could.)

A second TARDIS materialized near their familiar blue box: plain, gray; a squat column of a ship. Janus emerged first, a silver instrument gripped in one gloved hand, followed by an old-school Cyberman…Patton. Roman frowned. Seeing that metal…being…and having to remember it was actually his friend was going to be difficult now that there wasn’t a screen separating them.

“Nice work, Roman,” Janus said, sidling up next to him and faux-clapping his hands. “A ship full of aliens who want us dead; always an excellent starting point for an adventure.”

“This is how the episode starts, Mr. Oh-I’m-Such-an-Expert-in-Doctor-Who,” Roman retorted. “Accuracy is important.”

“But this isn’t accurate,” Logan pointed out. “There should only be Daleks here.”

Roman folded his arms, stung.

Damn Logan and his damned need to be right all the time.

“I…well, I didn’t model this adventure after just one particular episode,” Roman admitted. “I wanted it to be a challenge, and it wouldn’t be if Logan and I already knew the ending. So no, I can’t exactly explain why all the other aliens are here, okay?”

Logan sighed.

“I was not criticizing you, Roman,” he said in a gentler voice. “As this has apparently become as much Remus’s and the Imagination’s handiwork as it is yours, it would be unreasonable to expect you to know what comes next.”

“THE DOCTOR AND THE MASTER WILL APPROACH THE SUPREME DALEK,” a grating robotic voice boomed across the ship, making them all whip around. A large white Dalek with an antenna on its shell loomed on a raised stage near the center of the amphitheater.

“They were expecting me, too?” Janus raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

The lights on the Dalek’s head flashed as it spoke again.

“THE DOCTOR AND THE MASTER WILL APPROACH WITH THEIR COMPANIONS.”

The four Sides exchanged a glance, and weaved through the assembled Daleks to the raised stage. The White Supreme Dalek was not the only occupant; it was flanked by an Ice Warrior, an Emojibot (which made Patton giggle), and…

“Look, a Janus,” Roman chortled, nudging the snake-faced Side in the ribs and pointing out the two-faced alien.

“You are all nerds and my logo is a two-headed snake,” Janus complained, rolling his eyes. “I literally do not know how all of you missed that obvious clue to my name.”

“DOCTOR,” the White Dalek said as they climbed the dais. “MASTER. WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE DALEK ASYLUM?”

“I’m just impressed my rat-faced brother wasn’t lying about his location,” Roman grumbled, and sputtered when Logan placed a hand over his mouth.

“According to legend,” Logan said, “you have a dumping ground, a planet where you lock up all the Daleks that go wrong.”

“The battle-scarred, the insane. The ones even you can’t control,” Janus clarified. His voice dropped to a hiss. “No wonder they ssstuck Remus there.”

Roman covered his mouth to keep from snorting.

The snake would not make him laugh.

“CORRECT.” The Dalek pushed a button and a hole opened in the middle of the floor. A snow-covered planet lay below them, pristine from this high up.

“Ooh, that’s,” Patton started, and let out a metallic gulp. “That’s quite a drop. Do we, ah, have to go down the same way? Cause I remember that part, and—”

“How many Daleks are down there?” Logan asked.

“A COUNT HAS NOT BEEN MADE,” the white Dalek said.

“Millions, certainly,” a new voice chimed in. The tall, robed, dark-skinned Janus stepped forward, their front face addressing them. “But they will not be your only concern. The population of the planet consists of more than just Daleks.”

Roman exchanged a suspicious glance with Logan. This wasn’t in the episode. This is new.

“What do you mean?” Janus, their Janus, asked.

The alien Janus turned to a nearby monitor, pulling up some information. The backward-facing face continued to address them.

“Some time ago, the Daleks began noticing a curious phenomenon,” they said. “Random people, from all different races and species, started turning up on various planets in this quadrant of space, including the asylum. No ships, no technology, and no knowledge of how they’d gotten there. At first the imprisoned Daleks on the asylum simply killed them off as they appeared—”

Patton visibly winced, even with his metal body, and Logan’s eyes grew flinty.

“—but the new arrivals eventually became too many to exterminate,” the alien Janus went on, unconcerned. “By now we suspect the planet has a population of over a billion, far too many for its automated systems to handle.”

They turned their forward face to the four again.

“THE ASYLUM IS COMPROMISED,” the Dalek Supreme proclaimed. “IT MUST BE CLEANSED.”

“Hang on, you’re still going to blow the whole planet up?” Roman protested. “A billion people?”

“To be fair, that is what they did in the original episode,” Logan pointed out quietly.

“But that was just Daleks!”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Ah, so genocide is fine when it’s only the evil aliens getting blown up?”

“You know, somehow I’m not surprised to hear you defending the bad guys!” Roman snapped.

“That is enough!” Patton snapped in his robotic voice, stepping between them and raising both his hands. Laser pistols popped out of both of them, making both Roman and Janus step back in alarm.

After a tense moment, Patton lowered his arms again; the guns clicked and vanished into their casings.

“Uh, sorry kiddos, I don’t know what came over me,” he said in a sheepish, more Patton-y voice. “Can we please not fight? It…it kinda makes me feel weird and jittery when you do.”

Roman stared at Patton’s blank Cyberman face and armored Cyberman body and swallowed, hard.

Their Patton would never deliberately aim a gun at anyone, let alone his family. But Cybermen were created to eliminate…or rather, delete…anyone who got in their way.

Did Patton even realize what he’d almost done?

What would happen, if and when he was forced to confront the reality of his body in this realm? What if he didn’t figure it out until he accidentally did something terrible? It wouldn’t be real, of course, but to Patton…that wouldn’t matter.

If his Cyberman programming forced or tricked him into hurting someone, the guilt of it would devastate him.

All I wanted to do was take Logan on an adventure, Roman thought bitterly. A fun little dream adventure where he could play one of his heroes. Was that too much to ask, Imagination?

He folded his arms and glared around the Dalek ship, anywhere but at his fellow Sides.

Whatever the hell this has turned into, I want no part of it anymore.

“In order for us to destroy the planet, we will need you to disable the planet’s forcefield—” The alien Janus started, but Logan held up a finger.

“Excuse you,” he said sharply. “We have not agreed to do anything, least of all help you murder a billion people whose only crime is to have accidentally turned up in your prison. Have you even attempted to solve that mystery?"

"And why do you care what happens down there?" Roman added, sneering. "If the insane Daleks are armed—”

“DALEKS ARE ALWAYS ARMED,” the white Dalek proclaimed.

“—then why can’t they defend themselves?” Logan finished, shooting Roman a questioning glance.

Roman huffed, and looked away.

“At first they did,” the Janus explained. “But as I said, the automated systems cannot keep up with the influx. Wars are being fought over food and other resources as we speak. A starliner crashed on the surface mere days ago, and—”

“Ah,” Logan said slowly. “You’re afraid, with all the shifting alliances and new activity, that the mad Daleks will escape in the confusion.”

“We do not know who or what is behind the influx,” the Janus said. “But eventually, they will start coming with ships, or they will build them on the surface, or reach out to those who could attempt a rescue.”

“‘If sssomeone can get in, everything can get out’,” their Janus quoted darkly.

The other Janus nodded. “Even the Daleks agree, their mad brethren cannot be allowed to escape. We, of this assembly—”

They waved to the assembled crowd of aliens, who observed in eerie silence.

“—have decided that one planet must be sacrificed for the greater good of the universe.”

Roman slowly and deliberately drew his sword (which the Imagination had kindly left as part of his outfit). It rasped as it emerged, the sound hair-raising in the sudden lull.

Instantly every Dalek gunstick and alien weapon on the ship was primed and pointed at the four Sides.

“And if we refuse?” Roman said evenly.

“THE DOCTOR AND THE MASTER WILL COOPERATE,” the Supreme Dalek warned, its lights flashing balefully.

“COOPERATE! COOPERATE!” the cry was echoed by the other Daleks, filling the ship with a cacophony of robot voices.

The alien Janus shrugged, spreading their hands.

“You don’t really have a choice. If you want to live, that is.”

“Is that so.”

Roman tensed and sprang at the white Dalek, not giving himself time to think. He dodged a blast from its gunstick and leaped, bringing his sword down hard. This being the Imagination, the katana cut through the Dalek’s metal armor like butter, and it clattered to the deck in two pieces.

There was a shocked silence…but no retaliation.

“Well?” Roman shouted, spreading his arms and turning in a slow circle. “This is me, not cooperating. What are you waiting for? Are you really going to shoot us?”

If they all died on this spaceship…the worst that would happen is they’d be kicked from the Imagination, and that was what they wanted, anyway.

“Roman,” Logan warned quietly, pointing.

Roman looked.

The white Dalek’s shell was…laughing?

“Oh, Roman,” Remus’s crackly voice emerged from the fallen Dalek’s casing. “Roman, Roman, Roman. My poor brave brother who thinks he can solve all his problems with steel and bravado. Did you really think it would be that easy?”

Each word bit like sandpaper against Roman’s ears.

He growled, and stalked to the Dalek’s top half, snatching it up and quickly locating a tiny speaker.

“C’mon, Remus. End this stupid charade,” he said quietly, holding the casing to his face so he could speak quietly. “You’ve had your fun at my expense. Go back to your pile of severed limbs and gloat if you must, but end this. For Patton’s sake, if nothing else.”

“I’ve already told you, it’s out of my hands,” Remus responded; typically, annoyingly casual. “If you want to end the game, you have to come down here and find me.”

Roman exhaled, resting his head against the cold, bumpy metal for a moment. His eyes burned, but he was Prince; he wouldn’t cry, not here.

“Why must you make everything difficult?”

“Roman, in all seriousness,” Remus’s voice dropped. “I didn’t know you were taking Logan on a date tonight—”

“It’s not a date,” Roman hissed, glancing at the other Sides…one in particular.

“The Imagination brought me into this without asking, just like it pulled the others in,” Remus went on. “I am aware of what has to happen, but I did not cause this.”

“You’re lying,” Roman said tonelessly.

Remus’s whiny voice grew hard.

“I don’t lie, and you despise that about me. You hide so much shit from yourself that it baffles you when I refuse to do the same.”

“Look,” Remus added when Roman didn’t respond. “The Imagination is clearly trying to get our attention. Sure, it usually goes through one of us first, but it doesn’t have to. When it comes down to it, Thomas’s mind answers only to Thomas. ”

“How are you so sure?” Roman frowned.

Was Remus seriously suggesting the Imagination they both oversaw had gone rogue somehow?

“Because I don’t curate my side as meticulously as you do, brother.” Remus chuckled. “I listen. I let the Imagination do as she pleases, free from all those pesky ethics and morals and other boring boxes you always force her into, so that our sweet Thomas doesn’t fear the contents of his own head.”

“You expect me to believe that you know what’s going on because,” Roman let every ounce of disdain seep into his voice, “the Imagination talks to you, and not me…because you don’t make her behave?”

“You should try letting her loose sometimes,” Remus drawled, “or you’ll end up with a cane up your butt like Nerdy Wolverine over there.”

“Don’t call him that,” Roman spat.

“What you so-called ‘light sides’ always get wrong,” Remus went on, “is that the juicy stuff, the gruesome and grim, the ‘bad’ thoughts that filter up from the subconscious; they can’t all be locked away and ignored.” His voice dropped ominously. “Repression can be very bad indeed, you know.”

Roman’s reasonable nature knew that his brother, despite his infuriating attitude, was actually making some good points. Thomas had been dealing with a lot lately; the tension in the mindspace felt like a ticking clock, counting down to the next disaster.

But at that moment, Roman had no desire to humor his twin.

All he wanted to do was lock himself into his own room in the Dream Palace and spend the rest of the night writing sad poetry about love, or listing his mistakes to himself until he fell asleep.

“I just wanted to show Logan a good time,” he said aloud.

“And oh dear, apparently you couldn’t even manage that correctly,” Remus said, implacably. “So maybe you should use this opportunity to get your head out of your poopy ass, and reevaluate yourself.”

Roman slammed the Dalek shell against the floor.

It cracked upon impact, the wiring inside sparking and finally flickering down to darkness. He ran his hands through his hair, reminded, once again, why he hated talking to his brother.

Like looking in a funhouse mirror…

“Roman…” Patton sidled up behind him, laying a cold hand on his back. Roman shoved the metal arm away and stalked back to the others.

“Let’s just get this done,” he said in a low voice.

“You will need these,” the alien Janus said, pushing a button on a nearby console. A translucent vertical tube rose from a gap in the floor, holding three bulky black bracelets.

“Ah yes, I remember this,” Logan said, striding forward and taking a bracelet.

“They will prevent—” the Janus started.

“The nano cloud from converting us into Dalek puppets, yes?” Logan interrupted, snapping the bracelet onto his wrist and handing another to Roman.

The nerd is getting into this, Roman thought as he put it on. I guess that’s something.

“The cloud is only active in certain areas of the asylum,” the Janus warned them again. “And those change as different factions seize control of different areas and weaponize them.”

Patton hesitantly raised a hand.

“Um, Mx. Alien, I can’t help but notice that there are only three bracelets, and four of us?”

Logan frowned. “But Patton, why would you—?”

“I’m sure it’s because I’m part snake, Patton,” Janus interrupted smoothly, swooping in to grab the last bracelet and snapping it onto Patton’s arm.

Roman exchanged an alarmed look with Logan; that was the last bit of confirmation he needed. Patton really was unaware that he was a Cyberman.

But why on earth would Janus go to such lengths to keep him in the dark about it? Even leaving aside the fact that Patton was a walking weapon; being a machine, he didn’t need protection from the nano cloud at all.

Whereas Janus…probably did.

But when Roman opened his mouth, Janus shot him a look full of daggers and promises of pain, and shook his head. Roman rolled his eyes and mentally washed his hands of the situation.

Typical Deceit. Protecting his lies.

At least Patton would be twice-protected. If the snake wanted to risk his life for a lie, let him.

“The gravity beam will convey you close to the crashed starliner,” the alien Janus said, and then there were Dalek blasters being shoved into their backs, propelling them toward the hole in the floor.

“Oi,” Roman protested, “get your freaky little eggbeater appendages away from me, you AAAAHHHH!”

There was a push, and they were falling.

Chapter 7- Oxygen

“Look at this. Classic design. Pressure seals. Hinges. None of that ‘shuk shuk’ nonsense.”

“Space doors are supposed to go shuk shuk.”

“Are you gonna be like this all day?”

Janus was done.

He sat up with a groan, brushing snow from his jacket and vest, making sure his hat and gloves were still in place. Everything ached. Bad enough he never wanted to be part this stupid dream game in the first place; now he was probably going to literally turn into a Dalek.

All because the Imagination is being a dick and Patton doesn’t know he’s a killer robot.

Wind gusted around him, making Janus glad that the Master, like the Doctor, usually preferred long sleeves and a coat. He stood, turning in a slow circle as he took in the lay of the land. Nothing but snow and rocks; true to the episode, still.

The gravity beam had split into four as it hurled them at the planet, but Janus was reasonably sure at least one of the others had landed nearby.

He hoped it was Patton.

Not because he was concerned or anything. It was just that either of the others would be absolutely insufferable company, that’s all.

“Janus!” a metallic voice called, and Janus breathed a sigh of relief.

Patton’s Cyberman body clattered awkwardly down a nearby snowbank, sliding the last few feet to land in a heap.

“It is all kinds of chilly down here.” Patton stood, and waved rather nonsensically. “Hullo there, Janus, so ice to see you.”

Janus rolled his eyes. (He would deny to his dying day that the corner of his mouth twitched at the ridiculous pun.)

“If this scenario is consistent with its source material,” he said, gesturing to the closest ridge, “there should be an escape pod from that crashed ship nearby. Come on.”

He set off across the snow, Patton following in his wake.

“Say, what do snowmen call their offspring?”

Janus exhaled carefully. Hoo, boy, maybe Logan wouldn’t have been so bad…

“I haven’t the faintest.”

“Chill-dren!” Patton chortled at Janus’s grimace. “What did one snowman say to another?”

“St. Genesius spare me,” Janus grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What, pray tell, did one snowman say to another?”

“‘Do you smell carrots?’”

Janus quickly covered his mouth.

“You smiled,” Patton crooned.

“I most certainly did not.”

“Okay, okay, one more.” Patton scurried ahead and turned around, so that he was walking backwards. “Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” Janus said flatly.

“Snow.” Patton hooked his thumbs into the metal rim at waist, like one might on a pair of pants. Janus swallowed and looked away.

“Snow who?”

“Snow laughing matter, Janus, I don’t know why you’re smiling.”

Janus snorted before he could hide it, and cleared his throat.

“I am not smiling, how dare you.”

“That’s twice now!” Patton cackled, the sound coming out all distorted. “Admit it.”

“I refuse,” Janus said, drawing himself up. “You won’t make a liar out of….”

Liar.

He felt the joke fall flat and cringed. Even though Patton’s metal face couldn’t react, those metal shoulders visibly stiffened.

Too soon.

Liar.

Too much history between them.

Besides, you are a liar, his mind whispered. Lies of omission are still lies, Deceit, and you’re doing that right now.

Janus gritted his teeth. They topped a ridge; the expected escaped pod lay half-buried near another ridge, across a flat stretch of snow. The two Sides glanced at each other and continued their journey in silence.

Patton seemed disinclined to continue his little pun war.

Janus badly wanted to say he hadn’t minded the punning, but truthfully, keeping silent was easier. Patton’s baffling ignorance over the state of his own “flesh” was starting to wear on Janus’s conscience. He knew the longer he kept it secret, the worse the fallout would be when Patton finally learned the truth.

The urge to come clean was an unfamiliar one for him, and extremely uncomfortable.

Ironic, the master liar, conflicted about maintaining a lie.

The old him would have laughed, but…the old him hadn’t heard the sincerity in Patton’s voice, when he’d spoken Janus’s true name aloud for the first time. The old him had assumed Thomas would reject him forever…because of Patton.

And then, with Janus still smarting from the sting of Roman’s mockery, Patton had said his name.

Patton had trusted him to take care of Thomas in his stead, when the moral Side knew he had failed at it. The memory still made all Janus’s scales tingle and his heart beat a little sideways.

The new him…this him…couldn’t find it in his small, shriveled, but very much present heart to risk pushing Patton away.

They reached the pod.

Muffled shouts and something that sounded like blaster fire filtered up from inside, making them exchange another glance.

Janus set a hand on the ice-crusted latch.

“Remember, we’ll have to fight our way through a bunch of dead Dalek puppets,” he reminded Patton.

“That’s a lot of noise for just a few puppets,” Patton said softly. “That canonically shouldn’t even be awake yet.”

“I know, and that is strange,” Janus agreed. “Maybe someone got here before us. But we won’t know exactly what to expect until we get down there.”

Patton sighed, a cloud of frost puffing out of his small, rectangular mouth.

Janus pushed the latch, popped his head in, and was met with a scene of utter chaos.

About six or seven human-Dalek puppets, with stalks sticking out of their heads and blasters sticking out of their hands, were locked in a fire fight with a horde of robotic humanoids that looked like they came from the Fourth Doctor’s era, if Janus remembered correctly. Round, bulky shoulders and faces that looked like metal sunbursts.

Both puppets and robots were using the seats as cover, blaster fire zinging back and forth and exploding against the walls in little showers of sparks. Janus and Patton would be directly in the blast zone when they jumped down, a little closer to the robot side.

“Well, someone definitely got here before us,” Janus muttered.

He withdrew his head and studied Patton. Honestly, with his metal body he’d be in far less danger, and those guns in his arms would actually be useful in this situation…but telling Patton he was a walking weapon, now, would definitely not go over well.

“The hatch down into the asylum should be in the cockpit of this thing,” he informed Patton. “There’s a lot of blaster fire, though, so—”

“—don’t get cold feet and hesitate?” Patton finished.

Something in Janus’s heart twisted…something he didn’t dare examine too closely.

“Say, Patton,” he said softly, looking away.

“Yes?”

“What did the hat say to the scarf?”

Patton turned his black Cyberman eyes on Janus.

“What?”

“‘You hang around, and I’ll go a-head’.” Janus let a smirk curl his lips.

Patton was silent for a moment, but then he began to giggle, covering his mouth.

Janus pulled out his sonic laser.

He dropped into the pod with a swing of his legs, catching one of the robots in its metal chest. It fell with a screech, careening into another of its kind, but by then Janus had gained his feet and ducked behind a seat. Patton clattered down behind, with less grace and far more noise…and a random Tivolian tumbled in directly after him.

Patton caught the rodent-faced alien with a startled shout, immediately dropping them again when they screamed and struggled. Janus blinked; where the hell did they come from?

The Tivolian tumbled across the pod’s floor, only making it a few feet before getting cut down with blaster bolts. Janus saw Patton cry out, and caught the Side before he could leap out and draw more hostile fire.

“It’s too late!” he shouted over the noise.

“I should have hung on!” Patton, if he’d had a proper face, would probably be in tears. He hated death. “I don’t know why they were so scared of me!”

Janus could answer that…

“I’m more curious about where they came from,” he said instead, frowning. “They surely weren’t up on the surface with us. It’s like they just teleported in, but Tivolians don’t teleport. They don’t have the technology—”

A blaster bolt exploded across the top of the seat they were hiding behind, showering them in sparks and forcing them both to duck.

“Janus!” Patton snapped. “We need to get out of here!”

“Right.” Janus brandished his sonic. “We’ll just have to run for it.”

He leaped out, activating his weapon, and discovered that a sonic laser had a very satisfying range and kickback. Forget the Doctor’s screwdriver, he thought, blasting a Dalek puppet aside and ducking another gun blast. I wonder if the Imagination will let me keep this…

A cold, dead hand seized the collar of his jacket, yanking him back.

Then there was a yell, a clatter, and Janus turned in time to see Patton blast a puppet with a fire extinguisher. The moral Side chuckled at Janus’s shocked expression.

“I’ve seen this episode too, you know,” he pointed out.

Janus huffed.

The two dodged and fought their way to the cockpit; Janus used his laser to seal the door behind them. For a moment they simply stood there, catching their breath.

(Well, Janus caught his. Did Patton even breathe, in that form?)

“Unauthorized personnel may not enter the cockpit.” Remus’s high-pitched voice came over the speaker system. “Unless it’s an actual pit full of cocks, in which case, where’s my invitation?”

Janus was going to need something a lot stronger than tea, once they finally got out of this mess.

“Remus, for god’s sake,” he grumbled.

“God has nothing to do with my cock, but if that’s how you want to roll…” One of the cockpit screens flickered to life, and there was Remus in all his ruffly, sparkly, mustached glory. Clara’s warm, messy cove spread out behind him, reds and yellows clashing horribly with the green of his sash.

Janus moved so that his chest and shoulders blocked the screen, to prevent Remus from catching sight of Patton. If Remus saw Patton as a Cyberman, Janus would never be able to convince him to keep his mouth shut.

“All right then, where do we find you?” Janus said. “And where did the others land? Not to mention our dear missing ball of anxiety.” He leaned forward, putting on his trademark smirk. “Come on, Re. You must know. One Other to another, you can tell me.”

“Aww, Jan Jan,” Remus crooned, also leaning forward. “You care.”

“I most certainly do not!” Janus sputtered, and cleared his throat. “Patton was worried about Virgil, that’s all.”

“I was?” Patton asked from the other side of the space. “I mean, of course I am, but—”

“But surely you can at least tell us why this scenario isn’t playing out quite like the episode it comes from,” Janus interjected smoothly. He didn’t want Remus to notice the metallic quality of Patton’s voice.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve already told you everything that I know.” Remus shrugged. “Roman really did give the Imagination too much freedom.”

Janus frowned.

“Then how do you know the scenario will end when we find you?”

“I actually don’t! Isn’t it great?” Remus crowed, clapping his hands. “I love stories where anything could happen. We could all get vaporized, or have our flesh eaten by—”

“Remus, focus.” Janus pitched the bridge of his nose. “So, given what we know of this particular episode, you’re assuming that our main tasks are to come get you, and to drop the forcefield on the planet so the Daleks can blow it up.”

“That’s the idea, Double Dee!”

Behind him, Janus heard Patton make a weird, choked noise, and grimaced.

“By the way, Roman and Logan are already inside the asylum.” Remus grinned, the whites of his eyes flashing. “So if you want to catch up, you’d better scute those scaly asscheeks along. Check the floor for a breach; that will be your way out. A breach, ha! Like a butth—”

Janus pointed his laser and fired on the screen, cutting the transmission and sending sparks flying all over the cockpit. An awkward silence fell in which he turned to face Patton, who of course wore no visible expression.

This, and all the reasons for it, annoyed him further.

“I swear if you ask one question about scutes or scales,” he warned, holding up a finger.

“I wasn’t…going to.” Patton held up his hands. “Logan kind of taught us how to tune out the more, er, naughty things Remus says. But I am wondering,” he added hesitantly. “Are you…feeling okay?”

“Fabulous. Peachy,” Janus said flatly, kneeling to feel around on the floor. “Fantastic, allons-y, geronimo, what have you.”

“It’s just, you seem a little angry,” Patton went on. “And you remember, that’s, that’s the first step in being converted. Maybe you should wear the bracelet for a while? We can trade on and off…”

Patton’s fingers went to his wrist, but Janus stopped him with a gloved hand on top.

Tell him, an inner voice whispered. Tell him now, before this gets any more awkward.

“That’s sweet of you, but no, I’m merely frustrated,” Janus admitted. “I would very much like to get out of here, so I can return to the pleasant evening I was having before all thisss.”

He gestured irritatedly around them.

Patton joined him on the floor and together they found a person-sized hole, with a rope ladder hanging down.

“Hey, Janus,” Patton murmured, as they were about to start the long climb down. “Can I ask you something?”

“Why do I have a feeling you’re going to ask no matter what I say?” Janus said wryly.

“Do you remember when that puppet attacked you in the main part of the ship, and I fought it off with the fire extinguisher?” Patton ducked his head.

Janus raised an eyebrow.

“They hesitated, when they saw me.” Patton’s unnaturally black eyes met Janus’s. “That’s why I had time to grab the extinguisher.”

Janus swallowed, his heart starting to pound.

“Well, I’m sure they aren’t used to anyone fighting back—”

“No, they hesitated like…like I scared them or something,” Patton pressed. “It was weird, Janus. Please. If there’s something you need to tell me…you know you can.”

Janus’s mouth compressed into a flat line and he looked away, bitterness welling up inside him.

“Can I, Patton?” he asked softly, holding up a gloved hand. A yellow indictment of everything he was. “Can I really?”

Patton sighed, long and deep.

“Touché.”

Chapter 8- Extremis

“Something’s coming. And I’m blind. How can I see them when I’m lost in the dark?”

Logan awoke to someone shaking him.

He opened his eyes to an expanse of blurry blobs and color splotches, and Roman’s sharp, frantic face very close to his. His eyes have amber flecks, his brain noted inanely. But why is he clear when nothing else is…?

Roman threw his head back and exhaled in obvious relief when Logan groaned, blinking rapidly to clear his vision.

“Singing chimeras, Specs, I was starting to worry.”

Logan sat up and touched his bare face. Ah, there’s the problem.

“Where are my glasses?”

Roman was quiet.

Logan leaned closer to the other Side, squinting. Bad eyesight was such an annoyance. If only Thomas’s developing brain hadn’t decided early on that “smart and logical” also meant “stereotypically nerdy”, and pigeonholed his own sense of Logic into actually requiring corrective eyewear.

“Roman?” Logan tried again.

“Um. About that.”

Roman bit his lip, and handed over a smashed set of frames. Logan’s stomach sank as he examined them; the lenses were shattered beyond repair.

“I found them next to you like that, when I woke up,” Roman explained. “I’ve been trying to summon another pair, but for some reason the Imagination won’t let me!”

Logan pushed down a growing sense of dread, that he’d have to navigate the rest of this adventure half-blind.

“My glasses getting broken is obviously not your fault. We did fall down a rather deep hole,” he pointed out. “But what do you mean, the Imagination isn’t letting you?”

“I mean it’s not letting me!” Roman threw up his hands. “I could summon things on the TARDIS just fine, but now…” He sighed. “I am Creativity, right?”

Logan tilted his head and frowned.

“Is that…Roman, that is a nonsensical question. Of course you are.”

“So summoning a tiny object in my own dream scenario should be easy.” Roman hung his head.

“How long have you been trying?”

“Twenty minutes, maybe?” Roman shrugged, still not looking at him. “All that time, and yet still I fail.”

Logan resisted the urge to point out that twenty minutes should be long enough to realize a thing might be outside of one’s control, and to start brainstorming other options.

Stubborn fool.

“Maybe it’s just as well we picked the wedding over the callback,” Roman added darkly, an uncharacteristic glower twisting his face. “When Thomas’s Creativity apparently can’t even control his own dreams.”

Oh…this isn’t about glasses at all, is it? Logan swallowed around an achy sensation in his chest; the one he always got when something was wrong and Roman made that face and he just…needed to fix it.

Native English speakers have a passive vocabulary of around forty thousand words, he thought, frustrated. So why, in situations like this, am I constantly struggling to find the right thing to say?

The resigned set to Roman’s jaw prompted Logan to try.

“Your inability to summon things may not be your doing,” Logan said, laying a hand on Roman’s knee. “Perhaps the Imagination is attempting to impose a sense of realism on this adventure.”

“Realism,” Roman echoed flatly. “In Doctor Who.”

Logan huffed. “You must admit, summoning objects out of thin air does defy even time-traveling alien logic.”

Roman’s face twitched in the tiniest of smiles. “So why did it work before, Teach?”

“Maybe it only worked on the TARDIS because the ship already defies every known rule of physics.” Logan shrugged. “I admit I cannot possibly intuit the inner workings of the Imagination; I can only theorize from what I have observed thus far.”

Roman chuckled softly to himself, and bumped Logan’s shoulder.

“Aww, Nerd, I’m touched. You’re trying to logic me into feeling better.”

“Is it…working?” Logan asked.

“Kind of?” An unreadable expression flitted over Roman’s face. “At least one of us is still grounded in reality.”

“Where else could one possibly be grounded?”

Roman laughed outright at this.

“Oh, Logan. Never change, okay?”

He stood up, and pulled Logan to his feet as well.

“Where are we?” Logan asked, squinting.

He could tell they were in some large, open space; all blacks and browns and dull grays. Blurry domes of copper were scattered amongst what could be bits of fallen scaffolding or machinery.

Logan was also hyperaware of Roman’s warm arm pressed against his, and his own hand clasped tightly within the Prince’s larger grip. With everything else blurry, physical sensations were all the more distracting.

“Don’t panic, okay?” Roman started.

Logan scoffed.

“You are fortunate that I am not Virgil,” he commented wryly. “Because starting a sentence like that would almost certainly have caused him to panic.”

“Well, it’s just, do you remember that scene in the Dalek asylum episode where Rory wakes up in the hanger full of dead Daleks who turn out to be not actually dead?” Roman said in a rush. “Because…yeah.”

Oh. Logan swallowed.

“So, I am guessing that those copper domes are actually Daleks?” he said softly.

Roman snorted.

“Copper domes? Jeesh, your eyesight sucks.”

“I am aware,” Logan said flatly. “Which means you will have to guide us out. If I remember correctly, as long as we are quiet and don’t kick any pipes on the ground, we won’t wake them up.”

Roman let go of Logan’s hand… and replaced it with an arm wrapped around his waist. Logan only held back a squeak because it would have been extremely undignified.

“Hey, relax, I got you, Specs.” Roman’s breath ghosted over Logan’s ear. The Prince’s shorter stature allowed him to fit snugly against Logan’s side; if Roman turned his head, he could comfortably tuck his face into the crook of Logan’s neck.

Not…not that Logan imagined him doing any such thing.

Roman drew his sword with a metallic rasp, prompting Logan to pull out his screwdriver, and they set off across the floor.

It was a strange, vulnerable sensation, Logan thought, being this close to another, being forced to rely on him for direction…or maybe it was just that Roman’s Rose Tyler outfit left so much more skin on display than his usual royal attire…

To be fair, Roman’s bare arms and short skirt and leggings were the only non-blurry things in Logan’s line of sight at the moment.

“You know, I am not sure how much good a sword will do against a Dalek now,” Logan said dryly (to distract himself). “Since it would seem that the Imagination is now attempting to be realistic.”

“It’ll be a lot more useful than a screwdriver,” Roman retorted. “Honestly, the War Doctor had a point. The later seasons really do start to treat the sonic like a weapon, and it looks ridiculous. There’s an oily-looking puddle to your left.”

They dodged around it.

“The sonic screwdriver is an ingenious, multipurpose tool,” Logan argued. “Fitting for a character who is, at heart, a pacifist. In the right hands, it most certainly could serve as a weapon. For example one could scramble a Cyberman’s circuits, short out fuses, or calculate the precise amount of blunt force needed to take down an enemy.” Logan waved the hand with the screwdriver around them. “All things that a sword could not accomplish.”

“Sure,” Roman drawled, leading them around one of the still, silent Daleks, “but you don’t point a sonic at an oncoming Dalek and expect to survive. Even the Doctor had more sense than to try that. At least a sword could cut off its blaster arm.”

“We don’t know how strong Dalek amor is down here,” Logan pointed out. “You could end up breaking your sword and then where would we be?”

“Better off than we’d be while you assembled a cabinet at them!”

Logan’s foot collided with a metallic something that made an awful CLANG and went skittering across the floor. Roman pulled them up short, his face going pale.

All around them, round blue lights began to flicker on, one by one.

“I kicked the pipe, didn’t I?” Logan said, his heart starting to pound.

“You kicked the pipe,” Roman confirmed in a sick voice.

“EGGS…!” a crackly Dalek voice next to them stuttered, making them jump. “EG-EG-EG-EGGS…!” Its twin lights flashed erratically as it spoke.

“Roman,” Logan started.

“‘Eggs, you may laugh and that’s great…’” Roman sang in a wavering voice. “‘Your smiles are what make my day’…”

The Dalek rolled toward them creakily. “EEEEEGGS!”

Logan’s breathing sped up. Another Dalek rolled in from the other side, causing him to stumble. All around them, mechanical creaks and groans and a chorus of digitized voices rose up…

“EG…EG-EGGS…TERM…”

“Roman, I believe we need to run.” Logan could see the Dalek almost clearly now, its eyestalk glowing, its gunstick rising up.

“…IN…ATE…”

Blurry, flashing lights closed in.

“‘My self-worth’s fragile like an egg,’” Roman sang. The hand gripping Logan’s middle tightened painfully. “‘When it breaks it’s tough to put together again…’”

“EX…TERM…IN…ATE!”

“Roman!” Logan shouted. “Get us out of here!”

“EXTERMINATE!”

A blaster bolt warbled past and exploded over their heads.

Roman shuddered and seemed to snap out of it, seizing Logan’s arm and pulling him so hard he nearly fell. Logan staggered, hanging onto Roman’s hand for dear life as they ran, and ran, and blaster bolts burst at their feet and shattered around them.

“This way, boys and boys,” Remus’s voice sing-singed across the room. Roman yanked them hard in that direction.

“REMUS!” Roman shouted as they ran, and Logan was impressed he had the breath for it. “Remus, you better open that door like you’re supposed to or we are DEAD!”

“Oh, keep your pants on, brother,” Remus snarked, sounding a little closer. “Although maybe Logan would prefer that you didn’t—”

Whatever else he said wasn’t audible over a hanger full of jabbering Daleks and firing blasters.

They reached a wall and Roman shoved Logan down.

“Straight ahead, crawl. Go, go, go!” he said, turning and brandishing his sword.

Bless that Prince and his stupid, stupid bravery.

Logan went, nearly tripping over his coat as he crawled under the barely lifted hatch door. Once he was past the threshold Roman flung himself under and through, knocking into Logan and sending them both sliding across the floor.

There was a hiss and a heavy thud that Logan hoped was the door shutting behind them, and finally, blessed silence. They both leaned against the wall for a moment, catching their breath.

Roman thunked his head back.

“Jesus Christ Superstar,” he muttered.

“Your welcome.”

Remus’s voice crackled through the hallway. Roman growled and sat up straighter, looking around as if his brother would magically appear.

“I did just save your lives,” Remus added. From the direction of the sound, Logan guessed he was talking through a speaker somewhere on the far wall.

“Yeah, and I’m still gonna whip your butt when this is all over,” Roman groused.

“Oooh, do I get to choose the instrument?”

Roman sputtered, but Logan grabbed his arm before he could yell back.

“You know he just likes to get under your skin,” he murmured, and raised his voice. “Thank you for opening the door, Remus. We are grateful for your help.”

There was a silence on the other end, with a quality that Logan would have described as shocked.

“Well. You two lovebirds better move along,” Remus drawled finally, shrill as ever. “Before the Silurian army shows up.”

“Excuse me, the WHAT?” Logan exclaimed.

No answer.

“Remus!” Roman clambered to his feet and helped Logan up.

Nothing.

Except now that Logan was listening for it, he definitely heard approaching footsteps and murmuring, heavily-accented voices. And they were getting closer.

“That dick,” Roman grumbled through gritted teeth.

“To be fair, I think he is trying to help,” Logan pointed out. “In his own way.”

“Don’t be fair to my brother when he’s just led us out of the frying pan and into the fire.”

“We are neither in a pan nor on fire, Roman; I have never understood that saying—”

The lights dimmed and flashed an eerie purple; Roman silenced him with a hand over his mouth. There was a voice…not Remus’s, not alien, not like anything Logan had ever heard. It chanted something, over and over again, before fading out.

The lights flared back to normal.

Logan waited, counting Roman’s shallow breaths against his neck.

Nothing.

“What was that?” he asked softly.

“Beats the hell out of me,” Roman responded. “But I guess that’s our cue to go. Stay close, Mr. Magoo.”

Logan grumbled, but allowed Roman to recapture his hand and lead them in the opposite direction of the approaching footsteps…which had resumed the moment the purple light vanished.

Next time Roman asked him to come on an adventure, he was bringing a spare set of glasses.

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