#until she found she couldn't truly be harmed any more and would never take another second of it

[marzi-panic]

Here's a basic ref of my Dungeon Meshi fan character, Lela!

(Of course, there will be tweaks and rewriting of her lore in the future since I have finally read the manga. Overall, she's more of a "what if" type of character to play around with haha--)

Gonna have a little bit of back story text after the pics💚👌

Bare with me, I did my best aaaaa :'''o)

Lela was born to a mother elf and father satyr. Her family is mixed both in fathers and races. Three siblings being born to a father human, one a father dwarf, and the last child born from a half-foot. The last is the last for a reason. They don't show many mixed traits.

Lela being an example of this where her ears are the only oddity. Height and ears are the main things you'd notice right away if you saw them in a row.

They lived in a small and hidden village. It was simple and people were quick to be passive about anything.

Her mother slighted by the men in her life not seeing her way and leaving, chose to take it out on her children with magic. Her mother was a very skilled elf and studied healing magic, using it to help her fellow villagers. She also had a "small" interest in black magic.

Her mother did what she could with her knowledge to coax her children into being "blessed" with good health, life and luck. "As long as you stay in the village, nothing will befall you", she said.

Lela was reluctant at first, but with her mother's guilt trip and pleas to be understood, Lela obliged. Those feelings of uncertainty never left her, though. As the family grew complacent, Lela grew restless. With every suggestion, there was a nasty fight. With every kind act, it was never enough. With every new "father", another new reason to be ignored and harmed. Lela did what she could to be on the same page as her mother, she wanted her love and respect just like any other child. Her efforts were dismissed and her spirit broken down with each failure and " just punishment".

Just being what her mother asked of her seemed like the only thing Lela had left. She was never one to WANT to cause trouble, but her free thinking wasn't getting her anywhere. So, she just existed. Pretending everything was okay. Getting harmed, worn out, and engaged because "mother said so". Lela truly, truly wanted to trust in her family, but everything was great to everyone, but her. What made her snap was when she was attacked by her fiancee. He made it clear that following her mother's plan is all she had to do.

Through this interaction, she found out how much more controlling and manipulative her mother was. The whole village was in on this stagnant, cultist promise. "Stay in line and things will be fine".

Lela didn't want to believe this despite the messy conformation.

She went to her mother, hoping for this to be a huge misunderstanding. Lela was met with vague and placating answers. It was clear that her mother was hiding something and Lela had enough of not knowing how to feel or who to trust anymore. So, she ran off with her cloak and what little supplies she could snag on her way out. She couldn't do it anymore. She wanted to be happy, but nothing was making sense. She knew that none of this was okay. The last thing she heard her mom say was "Fine! Abandon us! Ungrateful spawn, leave and become the monster I always knew you were!".

Lela leaving the perimeter, she felt a change deep down in her soul. She wasn't sure how to feel about it, but she just wanted to press on. She traveled as far as possible.

Her body slowly changing into something she couldn't recognize. Forming claws, horns and a hairier physique. Lela would feel a darkness that called out to her. Louder and louder until she could barely think anymore. Fighting with the "blessing" her mother gave her.

It took her days, but she finally stumbled upon a fabled dungeon.. With only her cloak and tattered clothes, she felt this urge.

"...Become the monster she always knew you were..."

A new life ensues as she allowed the dungeon to swallow her in.

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If you read all this, you are so awesome and great and thank you for reading ! <3

I'm gonna go sleep now and draw some more stuff later, byyyye 😅

[cannibalcreeps]

What if the Reader was a toy/plaything that Ma and Pa used? Kinda like use and bully at first but it becomes warmer over time.

tbh that's probably how it truly starts off hahaha! some sauciness below to add on too UwU -------

Pa was definitely the worse when it came to bullying you, the two adult Odets couldn't entirely talk other than Pa muttering a few curse words like 'Fuck' or 'Bitch' and bitch was definitely used on you a few times. Physically though, you were shoved, pinched, grabbed, yanked and kicked around like your were some broken doll for him to throw around recklessly. He was also the one to fuck you the most, it was never kind as he just grabbed you whenever he felt like it, which was almost every day at this point and he was rough, which at times felt amazing until he was pushing your head down or pinning your arms in uncomfortable positions for a long time. For Ma, she was pretty mean in shoving you around and doing chores, pinching you whenever you made a mistake, she would start to leave scabby sores over your arms and legs, though when it came to sexual interactions it was more gentle and not as common as when Pa would grab you, if anything Ma just used you for her own comfort and wanting to be loved but more held which you complied, you looked forward to it more than when you were with Pa. They never hurt you badly, other than the very first week of them taking you from the bus group you were with and only keeping you alive, you were grateful that you were kept alive but when they would lightly stab you, tie you up in barbwire and let their children terrorize you. It was a frightening experience, waiting to be the next person tied up and skinned alive, like the poor bus driver, all this just cause the bus you were on decided to take 'short cut'. But they never cut flesh from your body or even ate anything part of your body, you had no idea that you were being kept as a play thing for two cannibalistic partners that, though cared for each other, no longer wanted to have relations with each other anymore now they had three children, which the longer you lived with them found out it was the worry of possibly killing Ma with another pregnancy. After the first initial week of being kept in a dog cage, you were then placed in your own room, a small store room with nothing but a cot and then after a month you were finally given a proper room, though you barely got to use it as you were always dragged to Pa or Ma's room. It wouldn't be until at least half a year had passed, you had shown you were not going to attempt an escape or harm any of the family members, even though you really wanted to stab Three-Fingers when he came over and pulled your hair so hard you thought he ripped a chunk out, you became trusted to wonder their large home, as long as you didn't leave the property of course which for your own safety, even if not to get punished by either Pa or Ma, but mostly as you didn't want to run across their siblings out in the woods, alone. You had met them before and even though One-Eye seemed a sweetheart, you knew you'd be a goner with the other two brothers. Though you were still a pet to them, both Pa and Ma were more sweeter on you, Ma hadn't been harsh to you in such a long time, her smile always just brightening your day as she now peppered you were affection as much as you returned to kindness, with Pa he was still rough with sex, but much more gentler in every other interaction. Pa would hug you more, place kisses on your head and let you rest for a few days after a night or day of passion between the two of you, it was much more pleasant than when you first were brought in and now you weren't sure you even wanted to return to civilization if it just meant you just had to do a few minutes of chores and then the rest of the day of doing whatever you wanted. So this was now your life, a crazy life but one that you didn't want to give up.

[blue-eyed-banshee]

Here's to the future and family

Sylvanas doesn't need sleep per say but like she and some of her dark rangers have the habit of mimicking the appearance and feel of 'sleep'. This was what they all did in their lives for hundred if not thousands of years (If you're adding their lives and them being under Arthas' control within that span of life.)

Jaina was pregnant with their first child and Sylvanas wouldn't even sleep even if she felt the need to relax. Just as she was in life, she would do or give anything to make sure no harm came to Jaina, herself or their first born. She knew in the back of her mind, she wouldn't have anything to worry about but Arthas had left such a deep scar on her soul... it was impossible to not be afraid if that bastard could have found a way to torment her even in his true death.

Jaina's mother was nice enough to buy them a nice house in Tiragarde which she had some servants from Proudmoore Keep help them move items that Jaina would've liked to have with her. As for Sylvanas, she already had some help from here sisters and Lor'thermar.

Sylvanas was adamant that their new home have some forest as well as a beach or something close to it with a dock as well. They both wanted to feel like it was home but their home.

Even in life, Sylvanas was always the type of person who traveled light, only taking necessary items like her knife for carving arrows or a small satchel which had but a single feather dangling from the one of the pockets on the front. It wasn't just any feather- no, this feather belonged to her prized hawkstrider she had in life; Snapp.

She thought Snapp would always be with her but such was not to be. After she reclaimed her body from the hands of Arthas and created the forsaken, she had gone back to her homeland to retrieve Snapp from the stables within the Spire.

Only to her disappointment, Snapp had not recognized her or couldn't.

Tears formed in her eyes as she recalled every emotion, movement and sorrowful wail Snapp had given her when she approached him. And it broke her heart...

After she pulled herself from the memories, she silently walked over to a makeshift shrine she had built to represent her entire family family, she closed her eyes while holding the single feather in her finger and thumb before she brought it close to her heart.

"Elor bindel felallan morin'aminor.."

She whispered with care to avoid waking her partner before seeing this single, feather grow twice in size until it vanish from her hands leaving but a single image in her mind; a fully-grown hawkstrider with smaller ones next to it.

The elf's ears twitched slightly has Jaina moved onto her side which caused her to smile only for a moment before she could feel the weight of guilt the mage was having.... even after so many years together.

When she managed to walk over to their shared bed within the master bedroom, she heard another noise... sorrow.

Sylvanas gently lifted the covers on her side of their bed and made herself comfortable, but how could she be comfortable when the woman she loved all throughout her suffering, was still being tortured by nightmares of the past.

She moved closer to Jaina before she heard whimpering, it reminded her of her own nightmares that never truly left. Both women had seen so much and suffered unbelievably. But they chose to find love within that long endless loop of suffering.

The banshee queen was no longer, the ranger general was no more. All that remained was.... her.

An elf that was not quite dead but not quite living, yet held so much love for one woman even after she died a truly horrific death.

The undead high elf looped her arm around her partner's mid section just above her showing belly.

It had only been two months since they moved into their new home, but pregnancy wouldn't stop the lord admiral from attending to her people's needs, but what if the hauntings of her past reemerging from the darkest corners of her mind became too much for her beloved wife to bear?

Sylvanas couldn't bear such a thought. She tightes her arm around the mage with such care and a love that only a few people had seen her dimenstrate.

"I will do anything to protect you and our family.." She thought to herself, which Jaina heard with a reply to Sylvanas.

"I know, Dalah'surfal.. But there is a fine line I am forbidding you to cross.."

Sylvanas' ears flattened against her skull in understanding what she was getting at. She leaned over and kissed Jaina's hair, which was sprawled about her side of the bed.

She gave another squeeze in confirmation she understood.

"I won't cross that line, Dalah'surfal. You know this. But I will always find my way back to you, as I have once before."

Jaina relaxed instantly when she felt fine chiseled arms of the elf sleeping next to her, causing her body to stop shaking and all her worries to cease existing in her mind.

[thatruerealmwalker]

Stranger File: Judgement

Below is a short story and some text introducing a Stranger, one from a group of characters I have been working on, inspired from some things you may have seen on the blog recently.

If you would like to skip the story and get to who the Stranger is themselves, scroll down until you reach their picture.

Please keep in mind that there are some dark subject matter covered here, including references to suicide, death, abuse, ect. Reader digression is Advised

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Within the empty spaces. The ones where you are truly alone. No distractions in sight for your mind to latch to. The whispering growing louder each step you take. Where you should find comfort from the glares, it only gets worse.

They are here now, right behind you. You can barely handle being under their gaze. They have been here, and will always be here, even more now then ever before.

They have been watching you all this time, this Stranger. When you first told your first hurtful lie, they saw through you then. When you first stole and got away, they were right behind you as you ran from that little store. When you first harmed another person for reasons most selfish, they were there, watching you as you beat that girl into the ground.

They never acted, never called you out even if it was truly wrong... they simply sat, and watched. At the time, you would have never realized they were even there.

That was not the only times they were there. The Stranger was there when you opened a door for another person, walking in behind them. The Stranger was there when you gave a gift to another, watching your little sister smile. The Stranger was there when you pulled your friend back from the ledge, gazing at you while you both walked to the stairs.

It was only after the a̷̡̰͕̒̄̀c̴̡̯̈̍͘c̵̨̡͎̄̚i̷̪̘͓̋̀̚d̵̢̗̥̈̀̐e̸̛̹̜̼̓̑n̴͇̱͗͗͜ţ̵̎? did you see the Stranger for the first time. Under that tree covered path, in the shadows made by the forest leaves, their eyes glowing like stars in the night... looking Right. At. You.

You ran at the time, and kept on running ever sense. When they were at your home, right outside your door, you ran. When they were at the mall, looking through a shop's window, you ran. When they were at the funeral, standing right next to your grieving mother, you ran.

You soon found yourself at your sister's school, late one night, she used to come here everyday for her clubs. You walked past the room in which she painted the most beautiful beach you've seen. You walked past the courtyard where she laughed with her best friend. You walked into her classroom, the one where-

The Stranger was there- right at the class- you turned but the door was blocked by shap-

"̶͉̌̒̚S̸̘̘͓͠Í̷̡̨̦T̵͕̪́"̸͉̟̉̍̓

You sat at a seat- why? You don't know, but you did, and you hate that you did.

You could not look at them, your body kept on shaking, you wanted to run but couldn't, you never could have never ran from the start.

You were mad, pissed at this Stranger for forcing their way into something that didn't involve them, so you got up, looked into the b̶̢̗̒̑l̷̨͠u̵͙͑ͅr̷̛̯͝ŕ̶̜̠͠e̸̍ͅd̴̩̏͠?̶̢̳̃͑ face of this bastard- you don't why you said it, you felt as if it was the only thing you could say, and yet, and yet those words cost you everything-

"WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!"

The Stranger's mouth twisted into a small yet vindictive grin, thei- no her eyes filled with mirth. And yet she did nothing, and you decided to leave, just DONE with any of this, getting up from your seat and wal-

Her body was in your hands, at the bottom of the cliff. You were mad, so mad that she broke your favorite necklace- yet it wasn't your favorite, she was right. You only kept it because you still wanted your girlfriend back, even after you hurt her, even after you bashed her into the floor of your house for daring to think she could ever leave you.

You were tired of it, tired of how she brought it up all the time, what you did, treating you like some freak... which you were. You thought she had no right... when she really did. and so you shoved her. She wasn't supposed to fall- she wasn't supposed to get hurt- she wasn't supposed to stop breathing...

And the Stranger was there, SHE WAS THERE, watching as you held your little sister's unbreathing CORPSE-

The Stranger has been watching all this time, counting each and every one of your sins. Each good deed, each terrible sin, she has seen them all. She was in the crowd that caught you holding your sister's hand. You could feel her in the eyes of your friends, who knew the truth but didn't say. You swear she was in your mind, filling it with guilt at what you did.

This Stranger, their no longer a Stranger anymore. You know their name, and you know it well. Your soul forever Scared by their influence.

They are Judgement, and they have found you Guilty.

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The First of the Strangers I'll be introducing. This is Judgement. The one who has seen everything, and has been judging your every action. She judges only by your karma, the totally of your rights and wrongs, uncaring for emotion or reasons. As long as you lie beneath her notice, you have a chance at redemption... But one grand sin or deed may draw her near.

Here are some facts about Judgement.

She likes to keep things quite, mostly speaking only to question choice someone is about to make... but she does not like when people run from her- not. at. all. She finds that when she wants to judge someone, she often lures them into a school house or other places of learning. Treating sinners as children always gives her a laugh. She loves teaching children, and when she finds the time, often teaches them rights and wrongs "so that they won't become those I find guilty". She has a collection of crystal shapes filled with some kind of black smoke that by her words hold those she has deemed "beyond saving". She does not like being around the other Strangers... she cannot judge them like she can with other beings. She will work with them if needed, and do favors and the such, but she still does not find comfort in them. Their is one small thing you really should never bring up to her, and that's something like 'if killing someone to save another is a right or wrong'. She hates when the answer to a deed is grey. It's more work and if she wants any fairness, she has to actually care about the reasons. She likes to read in her spare time... and hates any kind of politics.

The thing about Strangers, is that they can maybe give gifts, share wisdom, join in conversations... but when they are asked for their names, or worse for their name to be spoken... to be become Known... is to allow them to bear their full powers, to no longer be a Stranger, but a Concept.

Trial of Judgement

Should Judgement become known, usually on her terms, Judgement will, if they deem the person before them to deserve a Trial, force the one who now Knows her through their memories. One at a time, all the good and the bad... so that she may make her judgement upon the soul before her.

She accepts that there can be change... but will still see to punishments herself if she find her victim Guilty. Scars, curses, illness and death all fall under that which she employs. She does not believe in good deeds deserving reward... and actions tainted by that want are one of the few things she may not look at as objectively right and wrong.

Should you find yourself deemed to far gone, blacked beyond all? Then she will trap you, and carry you with her forever more.

Wow that was a lot... I'll be making more soon, so keep your eyes out for those!

[lostbleedingarchive]

18+. preferably 21+.

intro lore:

the beginning:

a trans man is isekai'd into another world. the world seems empty of human life. there are strange statues everywhere.

the spirit of a god reveals himself to the man, explaining that this world is dying. all the humans were wiped out - and with no one to worship them, the gods have turned to stone. the gods aren't dead, they can be revived through devotion.

the spirit's body is stone, but due to his realm being death he's the last remaining god. he managed to summon the man to be the world's hero. the man has bpd, and has always devoted himself to people. he died by committing suicide after his latest devotion abandoned him, before being brought back to life in this new world. the spirit figured this was the perfect type of person to save the gods.

plot:

the trans man, named atlas, grew up in a small religious town. as a child, he was quiet and partially mute. he was taught how important devotion was, above all else. he was taught that the church leaders were the most devoted, which was why they held their positions. he wanted to be like that, but was told he couldn't bc he was a girl. he took that to mean that only men could be truly devoted. he dedicated his early life to trying to prove his devotion, to no avail.

as a teenager, he began taking interest in dating. his first partner was a boy named kirian. atlas began shifting his devotion from religion to romance. he dedicated himself to his partner, but after a year he was left broken-hearted when his bf told him that they just wouldn't work. kirian was straight, and felt increasingly uncomfortable as atlas learned to express himself more.

having the mindset of pure devotion, he figured he just wasn't trying hard enough. his 2nd partner was a girl named lily. a spiritual girl who believed in angels, gods, and magic. in his devotion, atlas renounced his original religion and learned about pagan gods. he spent every moment he could with lily. he secretly built a shrine to her after she taught him about altars. every gift, every broken fake nail, lost lipsticks, etc were collected and put on the shrine. he would pray to her and give her sweets and jewelry as offerings. when she eventually found out about the shrine, she broke up with him - saying it was unhealthy.

he started spiraling. near the end of highschool, he began dabbling in drugs. getting as high as possible to escape his obsessive thoughts. he put himself in danger - believing that because he loved the gods so much, they would never allow true harm to come to him. he took a break from dating, simply watching his love interests from a distance. stalking them online, taking notes and pictures of them, leaving them secret gifts. one boy he was devoted to, cain, found out and had atlas jumped. his notebooks were torn. his camera, phone, laptop, and bones were broken. he spiraled deeper.

after he graduated high school, he met a man named miles. miles was in his late 20s, nearing 30s, while atlas was only 19. miles told him that he loved being the center of devotion, and atlas thought he found his soul mate. he moved away from his town and moved in with his new bf. he didn't have a car, a job, or any connections. he lived his life in his home, a devoted servant to miles. still getting high all the time, he didn't realize how bad his situation was. after every fight that ended with him being punished, sweet words and being held by miles, he dissociated harder. he wouldn't eat properly, wouldn't sleep except when he was too stoned to move, he broke down multiple times a week. after 2 years, he caught miles in bed with a woman.

he began screaming at miles, betrayed and hurt. but the older man locked him in the spare bedroom, refusing to let him out until he "calmed down and accepted reality". the reality that miles didn't actually love him, but liked having a devoted slave. he had been cheating on him with various people from the beginning. in that moment, atlas believed miles was a reincarnated demon, sent to destroy him just like his past exes. demons who hated the gods and just wanted to destroy those who honored them, those who were brought to the world in holy devotion - prophets like atlas.

atlas took his own life. he couldn't remember how it happened, just the dull pain through tears and choking. miles didn't find him until days later.

as the world faded away, atlas could hear soft singing in the distance. a light filled his vision, and he felt himself dissolve away. when he opened his eyes again, he was in a courtyard. great stone archways surrounded him, with a beautiful fountain spraying out water and filling the air with mist and rainbows. the sun was warm, birds sang, and plants grew all over the walls and yard. he believed he must've made it to heaven. he wept in relief.

he began walking, noticing great statues in strange positions. picking flowers, eating food, sleeping, dancing. some of the statues were shattered across the floor. but he couldn't find anyone. no humans anywhere. he called out, looking for any living being.

a spirit appeared before him. a tall man with dark hair and eyes, shimmering in a golden robe and a crown of dead branches. his face was covered in a deer skull mask - or perhaps it wasnt a mask. the skull grinned at atlas.

"child of devotion, you've been summoned here to save us. i am hades, god of the unliving souls. i was able to bring you here after your spirit left your world. i beg for your help."

the god explained that this wasn't atlas' world, but a similar one. another realm. it used to be filled with life, hedonistic societies, magic. but, humans began to turn on each other for an unknown reason. they created weapons that destroyed cities, they tore down their temples and shrines. belief dwindled as they dug their grave of destruction. satyrs, nymphs, sirens, and other creatures went into hiding. gods began turning to stone due to no one believing in them anymore. the magical creatures devoted to them transformed into nature. mountains, trees, flowers, rivers, etc. in the end, the last humans starved to death while hiding in fear. the last of the gods all turned to stone. all that was left were the monsters that came before the gods.

hades wandered the dead world as a spirit, unable to wake his body. he read abandoned books, prophecies, and other writings to try to find a way to fix everything. he finally found the blood-stained journal of a seer, which said that an old god was destroying the humans that worshipped the new gods in an attempt to retake the world. it detailed a ritual to summon heroes from other worlds, should all hope be lost. however, the ritual needed multiple gods or sorcerers to work fully. in the end, hades was only able to summon a human soul. one that was average, perhaps less than average, in skill - but with the ability to bring gods back to life through their belief and devotion.

atlas was mute at first, looking scared. he managed to tell the god that his devotion couldn't possibly help, because it was never enough. it wasn't enough for humans, how could it possibly be enough for suffering gods?

hades only chuckled. he leaned down and cupped atlas' face.

"there once was a man here with your name - a great hero that held up the world. he never believed he was enough, but without him everything would have been crushed. his self sacrifice, his devotion, is what kept us safe. i know that you are the same, little atlas. your world was simply too big for the humans of your realm. you are my perfect choice."

atlas wept.

he would help this beautiful god that saved his soul. he would be enough. he would be perfect. nothing could possible stop him.

[absentlyabbie]

read this post and i am now desperate for a leverage-as-old-guard au

[smoochi-modest]

✿ [ Wilted ] ✿

—> Genshin Impact - [ Xiao x Reader ]

—>  [ Fem! Reader. Blood. Gore. Character death. Fluff into angst, with a rather bitter ending. ]

—> Description - [ It all started with a promise, and now here you were. It seems Xiao will never escape his karma, he thought. The hope you once gave him began to escape within his tears. ]

—> Note - [ 2,231 words - I hope you enjoy;; it'll be one of the few times I write angst, I can't bring myself to hurt him more. ]

" Xiao... you're immortal right? "

Head rested peacefully on the adepti's shoulder, you couldn't help but smile fondly towards the boys face. Xiao had been staring back at you for quite some time now, you were unsure why but you hadn't been bothered to ask. Feeling safe under his watchful eye.

" I am still able to die, just not by time. " Xiao said firmly to you in response, his normally sharp glare found itself to soften the moment you lock eye contact. A feeling of nostalgia bubbled beneath the surface of his skin.

"Mm... That's no good, that means you'll have to die in pain. Right?"

He was taken back by your words for a moment, a frown creeping onto his features. Brows furrow while listening to you patiently. He opened his mouth, only to shut it once more for you to continue.

"I mean... You're already going through enough pain as it is."

He was. And he knew it hurt not only him, but you as well.

"Will you be alright when I'm gone...?"

No. He wanted to say oh so desperately. Closing his eyes, Xiao leaned his head to the side, nuzzling on top of your own while he whispered gently.

" Please do not utter such words. "

Then there was silence, within the heavy atmosphere there was clearly something plaguing your thoughts. He feared it would trap you in a world similar to his own, a place full of pain and self doubt.

" . . . "

" I am an adepti, not a child. "

" . . . "

Yet again more silence, that is... until you shot up from your seated position, knocking your heads together on accident while whining in the process. You lifted a hand to your head, muttering small curses. But now wasn't the time for that! Brushing off the complaints, you make light of the situation. A new idea found it's way in that pretty head of yours, as he stared at you rather irritated by the sudden bash of skulls through your unexpected excitement.

" Wait! I got it! " You seem to beam, " I'll just reincarnate as soon as I am dead! Then I could embrace you just like this, all over again! "

Xiao scoffed, looking to the ground as a sudden warmth found its way across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. A rose red hue, adorning his face.

" Reincarnation doesn't work like that, you have no say in how long it takes for you to return. "

This seemed to make you pout, sitting yourself back down, you take his hands in your own. The sudden connection, brought him to lift his head slightly to have a glance at your expression. Your fingers intertwining with his.

" Fine then! Just watch me, Xiao. I'll prove you wrong. "

"I'll even promise you!"

That day was forever imprinted in the back of his mind, staring down solemnly at your gravestone. He couldn't remember the last time he felt your touch, oh how he craved to feel it again. Wishing to go back in time, and replay everything all over again.

Xiao missed the way you'd hold his hands ever so delicately, bringing each knuckle to your soft lips. With each kiss, came so much unfamiliar warmth. He wishes he could have told you just how special you were to him, but now it was too late.

You were always the one to nurture his hands, the way you'd caress them with your thumb- leaving tingles behind. You'd claim time and time again, that those hands weren't only used for bloodshed. But for love as well.

His hands let him eat Almond tofu, grasp onto your face while peppering you with soft love pecks. He can almost hear you giggles still, whenever you'd try to push him away out of embarrassment.

Now he awaited for your promise to come true... he's waited nearly a decade now, or had it been more? Visiting your grave whenever he had the time, he treated your gravestone like it had truly been you. Leaving flowers behind, all different colours. Some white camellia, all the way to some dandelion he picked from the ground during his travels.

Ever since that day, the fateful day of your demise- Xiaos life fell into shambles. Feeling tears swell up beneath his mask each day as he slaughtered all his inner demons, along with many threats that came too close to the city of Liyue. His life didn't feel the same, forgetting what he had done on a regular biases without you by his side. So much pressure weighed at his faltering heart. A pressure that almost made him feel equal pain to his karmic debt.

He longed for a day to come where he could have worn the mask and danced with you in his arms — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers he heard once before, long ago. Before he had met you.

The once glittering sun found itself to rest behind the ocean's view, darkness consuming your gravestone and him along with it. Allowing the moon to grace Xiao with it's knowing call, a sign of more pain to come, a call reminding him of his duty that he must serve for the rest of his lifetime. He bid your grave a farewell after adjusting some of the fallen flowers.

Everything around him seemed to be void of any sound, slashing away at potential threats in his path. Piercing monsters abdomens like it were a kabob, before ripping his weapon of choice out in swift motion, allowing blood to spill out of the inhumane creature. Spinning his jade-winged spear to rid of any remaining traces of blood or guts, the ground had been painted in the horrifying colour which you seemed adore. A rose red.

There had been very few times where Xiao was caught off guard, however it was during this onslaught that something abnormal began to sprout like a rose bud. A harsh force knocked him off his feet, collapsing to the ground as he winced in pain. A weight then followed, hovering over him as a small hand grasped his throat. Choking on his breath, his piercing gold eyes widen at the sight ahead of him.

There sat a young girl, resembling his fallen lover. He couldn't allow this inconvenience to halt him from his duty, yet Xiaos mind began to churn still. Ripping the mystery girls hand off his throat, he kicked her off of himself. Quickly standing back up, in a more defensive position.

The two opposing figures stare at each other with undecipherable expression. Both wearing their own masks. His of an Oni, hers of a butterfly. The broken mask only covered the top left half of her face, and he prayed his eye's were playing tricks on him. A familiar colour of messy hair, lips coated in blood as it appears she had previously bitten herself while taking the impact of his kick. But what really through him off was that single eye. An eye that resembles your exact image. But why here? surely this couldn't have been you, he pleaded for it not to have been you.

" Wait! I got it! " You seem to beam, " I'll just reincarnate as soon as I am dead! Then I could embrace you just like this, all over again! "

" Fine then! Just watch me, Xiao. I'll prove you wrong. "

Feeling a sudden rush of pain course through his veins, Xiao stumbled backwards. Clutching onto his mask, desperately trying to snap himself back into reality. A low growl seems to rumble from his throat as he gasps, picking up his lowered head, the girl had yet to approach him.

After one more glance, the adeptus made up in his mind that it must have been you. The way those now empty eyes pierce into his tainted and damaged soul. It sent shivers down his spine, a feeling he had been unfamiliar with. Was this fear? He had no idea. Afraid that this was the fate you two had met, was this his karmic debt returning to torture him in every possible way?

Xiao could understand why he was brought back into his world of inner demons, but why... why were you here? you didn't do anything to deserve this. The girl he once knew, wished to live a happy life, one full of flowers and pillow talks. All that innocence, silly promises that seemed to make his heart flutter all came crashing down.

Fighting through the pain, he got back into a protective stance. You noticing his caution, slowly approach him. This caught him off guard, and that was his first mistake. Allowing your expression alone to throw him off. A single tear seemed to stray down your cheek, lunging forward at him with impressive speed. He lifts the shaft of his spear ahead of himself, protecting himself from the blade you pulled out from your hip. Deflecting it and jumping back, it was clear the boy had no interest in harming you.

" If you are who I believe, please listen to the words I say- argh! " Another sharp pain shot in the back of his head, interrupting his futile attempt to have a conversation with the reborn you. Xiao was unable to accept the fact you had become something so opposing to the angel you once were. Old memories of you smiling in his direction ate at his rotting sanity.

He knew this had to be you, a you that Xiao wished he didn't have to see. Your figure was covered head to toe in blood, hair knotted as you seemed to huff out shallow breaths. It was clear your body had been worn out from whatever you previously were doing.

" Please, you made a promise to embrace me once again. So why are you standing so far away, don't you remember?! "

His normally calm nature seemed to crack, a voice unbearable to hear. The way it would crack mid sentence, he was at a breaking point. Not wanting to harm his love.

The silence between the two of you felt like hell, air so heavy he could hardly breathe.

Xiao knows all too well, he had the upper hand in a one on one fight with you, but harming you was the last thing on his mind. Pleading once again, realizing his voice didn't seem to reach you at all.

He missed those small talks.

The screams all sound the same.

After another moment of silence and hesitance, you crouched down. Fingers tracing the ground without removing you gaze from his. He asked for your gentle stare to return, the way you look at him now with such emptiness- it truly hurt.

Its the old voice in his head that held him back.

Realizing what you had been attempting to do, it was his time to lunge forward. Pushing you away from the graphic pile of your now comrades bodies.

Xiao managed to gain a firm grip on your wrists in a single hand, while you were trapped beneath him. You squirm, thrash and scream in a desperate attempt to escape. Each shout felt like a knife had been plunged deep into his heart.

He hated to see you like this, the mask once keeping his face hidden found itself to dissolve in thin air, allowing you to see his saddened expression. Brows furrowed, tears streaming down his once expressionless face, his body began to quiver knowing what he had to do for this all to end.

"Will you be alright when I'm gone...?"

His unoccupied hand reached for his spear. Lifting it up above your form beneath him. He wanted this to be quick, a painless death... but that pain would only transfer back to him. Know that the hands you once adored, would be your own bitter end.

" How are your hands so soft, Xiao?? smooth~" You coed " I could touch them forever... " You brought his hand up to nuzzle your cheek into its warmth. Your smile always felt contagious, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as well.

Pitiful hiccups erupt from the boy, unsure how to handle the flood of emotions.

After a while, your struggle seemed to end. Not realizing what he had done. The ear piercing scream you let out, went unheard by the boy who was so focused on old memories, his head pounding. Opening his eyes, they widen in shock.

There you were, blood spilling from your chest as his eyes focus on the weapon now dug deep within your chest where your heart was.

The same weapon he used to slay evil, the weapon he used to protect you with a long time ago. Now, the weapon that he coated in your blood.

A sudden sense of distraught met the boy, crying out for you only to hear his own echoes. Still sat on top of you, he removes the weapon. Throwing it to the side as he clutches your body close to his own.

Blood and tears merge together.

Embracing you just how you promised, he wrapped one arm around your waist while the other allowed his hand to hold your head against his shoulder, nose nuzzled in the crook of his neck. Your blood painted his torso, staining his clothes.

You used to adore hearing his heartbeat on late nights like this... oh how he wished he could hear yours in this moment too.

[lazarettta]

Misthios II

Characters (Mother Miranda, Reader, Lady Alcina)

Word count (3.1k)

Rating (M)

Warning (little NSFW, language)

Did you really think that Miranda was going to let you leave so easily? Again?

Anything italicized is a flashback...this is part two to Misthios

Your time with the Vikings was fun but all good things had to come to an end. Over the years, you hadn't been too keen on letting too many people in on your secret. Your friends and makeshift family were getting older and you weren't. You were still fit for battle and as young and strong as you were twelve years ago. You knew that you'd overstayed your welcome but you weren't ready to leave until there were too many comments about you not aging a day. It had taken you a week to get your steed ready for long travel and to make sure that you had everything necessary, including the coin to purchase more supplies should you need it.

You weren't above doing odd jobs during your travels if needed. The viking children ran alongside you and your stallion as you both trotted out of the village until you were on an open road. You saluted them before taking off into a run following the lead of your war horse, allowing her to dictate your travels until she decided that she needed a break.

You had all of the time and opportunity in the land.

You traveled like that for a few days until you were coming upon a village but the path was winding and would take some time but you had plenty of daylight and were in no rush. Everything was peaceful until you came across an overturned wagon and nearly trampled over a body laying face down into the soft ground. The dark puddle around him did not indicate that the man would be rising soon.

You were quick to draw your bow and arrow, a good distance from the fight and you had an advantage in case any of them came for you. There was a black flag on the ground near the wagon but it held an insignia that you didn't recognize but you knew royalty when you saw it. The soldiers had the upper hand but there were a few of them dead as well. On the other side, you saw one of the bandits jump on the back of a horse to leave.

Without much of a thought, you raised your weapon of choice and not a second later, you felt the smooth wood of the arrow slip between your calloused fingers and you watched proudly as it found a home in the base of the man's spine, effectively halting his escape but leaving him alive for the time being but he was not without suffering.

It was at that same moment the last bandit was struck down. The remaining soldiers turned to you with their swords raised but before anything else could happen, a sharp and clear but decidedly feminine voice stopped the misunderstanding before it could happen.

A woman with light-colored long hair stepped from behind a large oak tree with two foot soldiers in tow. She didn't seem to care about the ends of her dress being sullied by the mud and blood on the trail as she made her way towards you. You climbed down from your horse when she was closer, not surprised that you were taller than she was but she wasn't that much shorter than you really.

Most other women you met that were your height or taller were fellow warriors. Her eyes were what really startled you, they were so clear they were almost white. They did not have a clear color to them, not one that you could see.

“You are a very long way from home, Viking.”

“Yes, in search of a new one.” you glanced over her shoulder briefly to the soldiers dealing with the one who tried to escape, his agonized yelling startling a nest of crows nearby.

“You don't seem like the type to miss a killing shot.”

Your gaze fell back to her unwavering one and you fought the urge to fidget under her stare even though you were the one towering over her. Her posture was none threatening and her smile had a teasing tilt to it, but her eyes...they pierced your soul, pinned you. You were unsure if you wanted to run from them or figure out how deep they went.

“I figured your King and Queen would want one alive to question.”

“The King has been dead for a long time now.” The woman tilted her head back slightly as if looking at you in a new light and you straightened your back and pushed your shoulders subconsciously and the corners of her pale lips curled a little more. “Have dinner with me tonight, viking, as a token of my gratitude. Those bandits have been quite a torn in my side for a very long time now. Thanks to you, maybe now I will find their leader.”

~~

The physical ache you felt when waking up was around your throat, well your whole neck. Your skin had long since healed over but it took the aches and bruises a while longer to go away. You don't know how long you've been unconscious but even without opening your eyes you knew that you were no longer outside on the side of a mountain which meant that she didn't kill you. But she still hurt you. You didn't know if she showed restraint because you both knew that killing you would be pointless and temporary or she truly didn't want to see you harm even if she was upset with you. You knew that it was the former.

Upset being the understatement.

You opened one eye then the other, wherever she put you it was warm if not a little moldy and it was definitely dark, you weren't quite sure if the torch on the other side of your cage helped any. Maybe it wasn't meant for you to use to see but to ensure that you wouldn't go completely insane in total darkness. It made more sense, you wouldn't want your prisoner to look around either lest they find something to use to escape.

You moved so that your back was against the stone wall, mildly surprised to find that it was a little damp. Your neck was still covered in dried blood but you didn't bother trying to scrape it off, knowing from experience that it wasn't the most pleasant feeling and one you chose not to deal with at the moment though you did pick away the random straws of hay from your skin as you'd been laying on it.

If you had to guess then you were in a basement, whether it was hers or not—you couldn't just sit there. Your backpack was long gone, you didn't have to look around your little cage to know that much. You checked for your gun not surprised to find that it was gone...she even took the damn holster.

You checked for your knife on your waist...gone. You checked the one that was hidden in your boots, or was supposed to be but it was gone too. Even after all this time, she knew you all too well. But even without weapons, a small cage like this wouldn't be enough to keep you. You just needed a plan but you had no idea where the hell you were. You reached up to feel your neck where you remembered her nails digging painfully into your flesh...

Gold plated armor, soft leathers and the finest silk that currency could purchase found themselves haphazardly tossed about all over the floor of the room. They reflected nicely against the small flames of the candles around the room.

The room was temporary, a small stop during your travels across the sea—this was merely a supply stop, but with the weather so severe, the waves were slaves to Poseidon's wrath. The ship was safer docked but she wouldn’t spend another night on board if she didn’t have to.

And didn’t, neither of you did. You were her personal champion—you went where she went. She pointed, and you left a path of bloody boot prints. Her wish was your command.

She laid bare before you, it wasn’t a sight that many were blessed with and no matter what sin you’ve committed at this woman’s whim (hell, even your own), you always thanked the Gods for giving you sight.

The fireplace is the only thing lighting up the entire room behind you both, you could feel the heat of it drying up your sweat but not all of it. You were straddling her, knees on either side of her waist—one hand on her waist and the other by her head, fingers interlaced with the hand that wasn’t reaching back clutching you tight, nails digging into your skin but that slight pain only fueled you.

Her light hair was out of its strict confines and complicated royal hairstyle, now splayed across her blemish free back and the pillows.

This was your reward; having her. You did exactly as she asked, you brought her the heads of those who crossed her and bathed in their blood and in the blood of their loved ones. You left no stone unturned simply because it was her wish.

And in return…you got her, however you wanted. But even trapped underneath you—she was never not in command. You placed your other hand next to her head as well, feeling her cool breath ghosting over your fingers turn sharp and unsteady when your hips snapped forward without warning. Her fingers tightening around yours. She tried to push back against you to take back some control but you met her attempt with untamed energy. Miranda's breathy chuckle tapered off into a mix of a growl and a moan when you did it again and again…

Shaking your head, you let it fall back on the hard wall behind you with your eyes closed. You've longed since buried those memories but they were fresh, as if they were made yesterday. The ache in your heart felt fresh too.

Then you felt it. No you felt her. Her presence was so strong, nearly suffocating and that feeling of dread was crawling up your spine again and you suppressed a strong shudder. You reluctantly opened your eyes, knowing that those eyes you fell so hard for would be looking back at you—the same eyes that tore to shreds. Even after all this fucking time...

You exhaled slowly and heavy, content to just stare at your boots, “I didn't expect to find you here of all places...”

“Would you have come if you'd known that I would be here?”

You looked up and saw that her startling bright eyes were staring back at you, still just as clear as the day you first met, “Why am I in this cage and not dead in a ditch? Besides the fucking obvious.”

She didn't say anything to you for a moment, simply standing there staring at you—drinking you in, it made your skin crawl, both good and bad. If she was bothered about you blatantly ignoring her question, it didn't show—or at least that damn mask she was wearing hid it away from you. All those emotions you'd long since buried and thought you dealt with came bubbling back to the surface like bile in the back of your throat but you kept a tight rein on it. Your explosive temper never dulled over time but you got better at containing it.

But no matter how good you were with restraining yourself, Miranda always knew. You could see it in her eyes. You hated her for it.

“I felt you the moment you arrived.” she said instead after long minutes of unblinking silence, she edged closer to your cell, unconcerned with the fact that you could lunge forward at any point and grab her. “I'm relieved to find you're still alive...and in good health?”

“Either kill me and ditch me somewhere, or just let me go, Miranda. I'm not doing this with you.”

“I cannot and will not do either, (Y/n).” she responded coolly after another minute of silence, keeping your gaze now that you've given it to her, “I just got you back, I'm not going to let you leave me so soon. Not again.”

“You didn't really give me a choice the first time!” you snapped back despite what you told yourself earlier about keeping calm and breathing, but seeing Miranda now—even more beautiful than she was before? It was too much at once. “You made that decision for both of us.” you said, much more quieter but she was close enough to have heard you perfectly fine and you were finally able to look away from those burning eyes.

“You're different.”

“The world is different.”

“Time has made you soft.”

You scoffed, “Would you like to borrow some of it? I mean...what the fuck is this? Where am I?” She regarded you calmly as if she was assessing you, but her eyes were roaming too much to be a simple assessment and you just laughed, sharp and unforgiving, you couldn't help yourself, “Do you feel guilty? Did you ever?”

“I don't have time to feel guilty!” she answered a little too quickly and you saw how her shoulders shifted slightly beneath those feathers, always a tell sign of hers that you never failed to notice and honestly you were surprised that you still even remembered her tales. She was so obviously different, you both were but this dance? While off tune and tense, was still your dance.

“Right, I see.” you tried to ignore it, you really did, but a little piece of your heart fell away at her admission because there was still a small part of you that still longed for closure.

“(Y/n)...”

“Do you even remember what you're supposed to even feel guilty for?”

“Stop it! You're not being fair!” she growled at you, pressing closer against the bars—if she pushed anymore she'd probably break the damn things, or materialize right through them but that didn't stop you from scrambling to your feet to meet her head on, refusing to let her have the full advantage.

“Neither were you! I...” you stopped abruptly, literally choking on your words and you forced yourself to close your mouth and Miranda watched every single emotion drain from your face as if you had flipped a switch and her hands balled into even tighter fists at her sides, unsure what to say and you had nothing left to say.

You two stood staring at each other, once again. Eyes locked but not a word more was said. She reached up, one hand wrapping around an old iron bar, her engraved golden nails clinking softly against the metal.

“Mother Miranda.” a firm but sinewy voice echoed around you both, calling for your attention and it was feminine but you couldn't see who it belonged to. She was just out of range of the cell entrance and you'd have to move closer to Miranda to see who it belonged to—and that wasn't something you were interested in doing, “I apologize for the interruption...but we have a problem.”

“What.” Miranda hissed, her voice no longer soft and velvet—the only way you could describe it was deity like. Stronger, harsher and it would've been scarier if you didn't know the woman behind the mask.

“That fool Heisenberg let that man thing escape the forest and he's now roaming in the village.”

“I see.” Miranda's eyes fell to you again, radiating more power than they did earlier. You'd been so busy arguing with her, you hadn't heard the other woman approach and you wondered how much of that she actually overheard, “When you are ready to talk, I will be waiting for you, my little warrior.”

“Stop calling me that!” you spat, glaring at her irritatingly, “I'm not your anything...perhaps your enemy. You'd do better by just letting me leave, Miranda because you and I both know that killing me isn't an option.”

“And I already told you. I'm not letting you leave me, not again.” she was suddenly right in front of you, inside of the iron cage and you had no fucking idea how she did that but she was too close but the stone wall behind you didn't give away, no matter how hard you pressed. Her eyes were softer now, and you actually had to crane your neck a bit to see them, even at an even six feet, “Learn the truth then you decide if you wish to leave or to stay.”

“The truth?” you scoffed, well aware that you two still weren't alone, “The truth has long since past to be of any interest to me.” you lied straight through your teeth all the while looking into her eyes, you saw a speck of emotion but it was hard to tell when they were so alive, “I don't care about your truth anymore, Miranda.”

“You may not...but I do. Did our love mean nothing to you?” you both ignored the startled noise behind you, “All those late nights and early mornings? I think about them often when this life permits me to...I...do have regrets, (Y/n)...and wishes, most never granted.” she admitted, quietly—her deity voice gone for the moment, “One of my biggest regrets and my biggest wish was you, (Y/n).”

You didn't know how to unpack that in this moment because Miranda suddenly had both her hands on the wall, trapping you as she leaned closer—you knew what she was doing, hell she even knew what she was fucking doing? Was it working? Like the fool you were—it was.

“Allow me time to settle this issue and then we will talk, (Y/n).”

You could see the uncertainty in her eyes, and you almost told her to go fuck herself...it was on the tip of your tongue but your heart was still as stupid as it was thousands of years ago. You kept your lips firmly pressed together, but nodded curtly almost reluctantly. She didn't smile, not really, but that familiar curve of her lips made you tense a little. You were a fucking idiot, and you knew it.

“Lady Dimitrescu will house you. I will send for you when I am ready.” she lingered for a second longer, seeming to want to say more. Suddenly she pushed herself away from you and walking out of your cell with ease, pushing the heavy door out of her way leaving you bewildered.

Had it been unlocked this whole time? She hadn't even bothered to retrain you, but she knew you wouldn't make a move because now she had now something to keep you behaved long enough and you agreed to it.

Ayyye Alcinnaaaa! Idk who's playing but Donna's house scary as shit. Y'all fuck with this story?

[cheekygreenty]

His Queen - The Darkling x Reader

bitch, I think I outdid myself on this one. I'm shocked I wrote this

He hated the Tsar. He hated himself, but he didn't hate you. How could he of let this happen, he's never been a slave to his emotions. You were married, no, scratch that, you were the Queen for Saint's Sake. The Tsar had made it common knowledge that you didn't belong anywhere but the Grand Palace, in a glittering gown and a jeweled crown upon your always perfect hair sitting in front of a fire sipping on your tea. He wanted you nowhere near the action or actual Palace life. You were merely an accessory to him.

The young and innocent girl raised in nobility, who caught the old bastard's eye by fluttering your eyelashes at him, longing for his person.

Bullshit.

Aleksander could see your repulsion whenever you were in your husband's presence. The longing eyes as you looked at the doors, the shiver that rattled your spine as his sweaty hand gripped yours, or the increasing sadness in your eyes as the months went on. The jewels around your neck glistened, but your eyes didn't. Not anymore.

He had done some digging in the months following the wedding, and rest assured you didn't belong anywhere near the palace. You were scrappy, ready for a fight at all times. There were numerous accounts of you running around villages, fighting your way through pubs and inns. Your parents, the Duke and Duchess, were downright ashamed of you before your big day. You were itching to drop everything and join the First Army the second you had the chance. You were skilled in ways no noble was; you had street smarts.

Then the late Queen died and you were presented on a silver platter to the King, donning all the family jewels that never sit quite right. The King couldn't help himself, the public blamed the grief for his hasty marriage, 'he needed a companion.' But in reality, he saw what he could have and grasped you up the second he had the chance. And now you were stuck here, in a cage with no way out.

Aleksander didn't take a liking to you at the start. All he saw was what the King wanted him to see and for that, he feels tremendous guilt. He thought you to be proper and uptight and spoiled, so when you approached him the first time, franticly asking for advice about a simple state matter that was dropped into your lap by the General himself, he couldn't help but snigger at you and convey news of the stupid Queen to his fellow Grisha.

He didn't know the King treated you like a child or that all of this was new to you. I should've seen it he cursed himself, for the weeks to follow you were the talk of both the Palaces and news spread to camps on the front.

The stupid, young, ditsy girl who couldn't put together a luncheon for Ravka's war heroes was the Queen. Ridiculous.

He believed it too until he had seen you out one night when he couldn't sleep. You were deep in the forest, tending to your black stallion and in what looked like peasant clothing. You had mud on your boots and your hair was messily braided. There was a tatted punching bad tied up on a tree and another person sitting against a log, breathing heavily and clutching his side. Aleksander never made himself known, just blended into the darkness as he did best but continued to watch you eagerly. Only then did he faintly make out your bruised knuckles and the tears in your breeches.

'Again?'

'Saints Y/N no, I've got a way to go and the way you just bruised my ribs, I've a painful journey ahead of me' mused the sitting man.

That night, Aleksander sent out his best Grisha to collect information and asked Genya to tend to you, but you denied yet again (only after asking her to fix up your hands).

Ever since then, Aleksander has been observing you and getting to know you when he could, telling his Grisha it was to gather information since Genya was no longer garnering the Queen's secrets, but he felt drawn to you for whatever reason. You were the best part of his day; whether it was a simple smile sent his way or you rambling about the ways you avoid being followed around the palace, he listened intently and set the shared memories into his brain.

The General was a mystery to you. With his extremely handsome face and confident stances, he mesmerized you to the point of a blank mind. Whenever your eyes met his, it could be in a room of 60 people, rest assured you were right by his side in an instant. You had sought out his presence wherever you went and clung to it while you could.

But the King had made his opinion of the Darkling obvious, and his hatred ran deep. 'He likes to think he rides a horse above everyone else.' 'He's most unnatural.' You didn't care though. As long as he kept himself away from you and just used his words and not actions, you were fine.

You had gathered a particular kindness for late evening walks before bed, silently slipping onto the grounds of his palace, awaiting his companionship. It might have only been 40 minutes out of your day, but it was always better than not seeing him.

Ivan had pointed out that you had an air of hostility around you every time you were in a room with your husband and your heart tended to beat dangerously fast as if you were panicking. So Aleksander attempted to pull you away from him and distract you from the horrid man, and it seemed to work. He grew to like you and would miss your witty humor when he went back to the Little Palace.

Months had passed and he never grew sick of your presence, ironically he craved more of it. He tried to tell himself that you were just a part of his plan, nothing more, but things got even more complicated. He had accidentally mentioned seeing you that night in the forest, and instead of being hostile about it, you told him you enjoyed a fight or two and invited him to join you. That night, after multiple rounds of sparring and hard hits, he kissed you fervently. And again and again, until you both got past the point of going back.

You acknowledged the risk only after it happened and started to panic. You had an affair with the General of the Second Army. He seemed to be in the same state as you. But before you went your separate ways, he held you in his arms and promised it would all be ok. You believed him.

He got back to his chambers that night and his demeanor changed behind the closed doors. He was so mad. He always swore to take what the King loved most and destroy it before his very eyes, but this was a sick joke the Saints played on him. He needed to protect you, get you out of the Tsar's grip, and hide you away from any harm. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep you out of danger's way and he knew it. Why did he let this happen? He knew that whatever your ending may be, you would get hurt, maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally.

You had told him of all the things the King did to you, how he treated you and paraded you around. You begged Aleksander to do something about it, to help you get out of that life and back to your old one, but there was nothing he could do and it broke his heart.

'I wish I could do something Y/N, I truly do, but I am not as powerful as you may think I am. The King is still the King' he had told you, guilt building in him.

He was sitting at his desk in his chambers now, looking out the window feeling fidgety. You were late for your evening walk, like really late. Sure it happened before, but Aleksander had a weird gut feeling that something happened. Maybe the King found out? or maybe you finally realized the magnitude of the situation and came to your senses?

He knew if the King whiffed out a sliver of what was going on with his wife and Aleksander, he would rain hellfire. He was a powerful man, the most powerful man in all of Ravka and there was nothing more dangerous than an embarrassed man's actions.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud noise he hadn't heard in a very long time, followed by the very loud thuds of falling books. The tunnel?

'ALEKSANDER?' your panicked voice reached him and triggered something primal in him. fight or flight. He and his shadows shot up and ran to you but stopped dead in his tracks, the black matter disappearing in on itself. You stood at the entrance to the tunnel, visibly shaking with anger, but that's wasn't the cause of his shock.

'Saints Y/N' He whispered, realization flooding over him like a nasty wave of ice-cold water. Your once ivory white nightgown was drenched in crimson but you were uninjured, it wasn't yours. The huge green Lanstov emerald sitting atop your left hand was smeared in red too, giving it a brown tinge.

'I need to get out of here right now.' You sounded solid and stern, the panic was long gone. The scrappy fighter was back.

Aleksander had always known what to say. But now, he didn't have a single word come to his mind and his body refused to move, he was rendered speechless and useless. This is a nightmare, surely, he prayed.

'Y/N I-I, What happ-'

'Aleksander, unless you want to see my head on a pike by dawn, I suggest you help me' You said as you moved across the room, after closing the tunnel door firmly shut. How does she even know about these tunnels?

'I once heard a drunkard speak of tunnels beneath the palaces, I tried my luck' You said answering his question without even being asked,

Your hands moved quick, shedding yourself of the nightgown and holding it in your hands as you moved to grab his black robe off a chair. Aleksander still stood there, his head whirling with so many thoughts, it debilitated him. He needed her to say it.

'Y/N did you do what I think you did'

'You know I did'

At that moment the doors burst open to reveal Ivan with an alarmed look on his face and his hands raised, ready to jump into action, most likely alerted by the falling books. But he faltered when he saw you, The Queen, covered in blood and holding a bloody nightgown in the most secure room of the Little Palace.

'Great another witness' You huffed and dumped the gown into the fireplace.

'Moi soverenyi, what is the meaning of this?'

'Ivan I wish I could tell you.'

'I killed the King. I have approximately 3 hours before somebody notices him laying in his own blood with his neck slit open' You sighed and sat down, head in your hands. This was the first moment you'd had to process it all, and it was overwhelming, to say the least.

A silence enveloped the room as the fire roared back to life, already having burnt the evidence to a crisp. Aleksander finally came to his senses, moved and grabbed a bowl of water and a cloth.

'Did anybody see you leave?' He asked as he handed you the items to wash your hands of the sticky blood.

'No. I made sure of it. I traveled through the tunnels.'

'And the King? There is no weapon near him?' Ivan interrupted.

Slowly you bent down and pulled a small dagger out of your shoe. Small but sharp.

'Give that to me' Aleksander took it out of your hands and walked out of the room while you continued to scrub the crimson off your hands.

You momentarily looked at Ivan, he didn't look mad or upset. He looked like a soldier.

'Are you not mad your King is dead?' You mused.

'He was not my King'

'That makes two of us' You were done cleaning your hands and moved to clean the ring. Should I burn this too?

'Leave it on. If things go sideways, you can buy your freedom' Aleksander returned. 'Ivan go get 2 horses and pack essentials. Get Genya too. I trust you to keep quiet.'

'Yes Moi soverenyi, Moya tsaritsa' He bowed his head quickly and waltzed out the room.

'Aleksander I'm scared now.....what have I done' You whispered. He took hold of your hand and pulled you into him. He held you tight, not wanting to let go.

'It's going to be ok. I promise. There's a small cottage down south I want you to go to. Ivan will take you. You will be safe. I will right this. I will protect you as I should've done earlier.' He kissed you deeply, letting all of the emotions flow through without the need for words.

'And what then?' You whispered against his lips.

'You be you. Perhaps go to Ketterdam. I feel you belong there... or come back to me when the time is right' He kissed you again, it was sweet and sad. A goodbye kiss. 'I love you, and even though you don't like it, you are my Queen. Forever'

'I love you too' Your hands fisted at his beautiful black kefta as tears dripped off your face.

****

That night you fled, your hair and appearance completely changed. The peasant clothes you felt comfortable in were on your back while the heartrenderer galloped beside you. Os Alta was still asleep as you sped down south, praying to the Saints that leaving Aleksander to deal with your mess was the right decision. That he would be ok too.

Ravka was shaken by the news of their dead King and the missing Queen. Some say she was dead, kidnapped by Fjerdans, and slaughtered mercilessly, others said Kerch merchants had her thrown in the Fold as she refused to give up information.

Either way, Aleksander had made sure you weren't regarded as a murderer and kept his promise to give you a chance to return to the Little Palace, to him.

Also if u can see this fic plz interact with it!! Idk if my tumblr is fixed yet and I need to make sure!!! If u were tagged and it didn’t notify you like last time, plz tell me!!!! 💓💓

Taglist (tell me if u want to be added)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝓐𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓻𝓪 𝓐𝓼𝔂𝓵𝓾𝓶: 𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙, 𝚢𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖, 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚜. 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚞𝚗𝚑𝚘 × 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝙵𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎)

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝟹𝙺

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚄

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I breathed out an airy and desolate sigh through my nose, obviously I unconsciously did it a little too loud as the raven haired male sitting across from me looked down at the floor.

"It was all my fault.....wasn't it?"

I looked up, the glasses sitting on my nose bridge tilting slightly that I had to push them back up so I could study his features, or should I say, his expressions. His eyelids never blinked once, his eyes were trained on the pattern of the carpet underneath him, but I knew his mind was elsewhere. I looked with pity at the bandages wrapped around his wrists, some of the edges stained with fresh blood. I gulped slightly, my stomach threatening to spill out my meager lunch of an apple and avocado toast slice from earlier. I could handle hearing patients tell and retell me about how they stabbed their parents to death, cut off their significant other's genitals because they were unloyal to them, even tackled a deranged lunatic that once tried to...... seduce me to put mildly.......

But to this day, I can't help but get dizzy when I treat or deal with patients who are self harming victims, because yes, they are victims. Victims of their own self loathing, guilt, and depressive state that isn't their fault. It just pains me so much to see them resort to such drastic measures...

But I'm also not stupid and know some, if not most only do it for attention or to manipulate others, and Yunho is a case not far from it. Which is why I was the one sent to deal with him. All the other psychologists would have fallen for his sad puppy eyes, good looks, well built physique and would have released him too early into the world. Not that he's dangerous and a threat to society, but he's not emotionally nor mentally stable to go deal with daily life yet. And I'm not a softie by any means even if I'm patient and meek doctor when necessary. But I'm objective and I seek deeper into the true person hiding behind the front they put in front of me.

"Do you believe it was your fault Yunho?" Usually one would get scolded for answering a question with a question, but I prefer this method in order to get my patients to reason and draw out their own conclusions......

And makes them pour out their true answers.

I watch Yunho ponder for a moment.

"It has to be- otherwise she wouldn't have...wouldn't have-"

He bites back a choked sob, teeth tightening and gritting against themselves as he fails to contain his tears. His hands cover his face as he begins to cry uncontrollably, desperate and heartwrenching wails resonating throughout the 4 walls keeping us company. Reaching for the purple plaid box on the coffee table between us, I take out a few tissues and stand up from my seat. Lightly tapping on his shoulder, I whisper a 'here' to him. He thanks me, but since he's crying too hard no sound comes out his throat. For the next few minutes, he's blowing out his runny nose, all red just like his eyes from crying too hard. He's sniffling while trying to control his previous hyperventilating session. I want to hug him or at least give him a pat in the back. But I can't, I can only sit back and try to imagine the agony he's probably going through, try to put myself in his shoes as I dive deep into the event that got him here in the first place:

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Coming back from a trip to the store, Yunho momentarily looks around confused when he heard his baby daughter crying. Quickly putting the bags on the kitchen counter, he makes his way over to the nursery that adjoined the main bedroom. Calling out for his wife, he receives no response as he walks down the hallway. He calls once more for her but stops midway as he opens the slightly ajar door. His heart stops beating and his veins run cold as he stares into the lifeless body of his beloved wife hanging in the room, feeling as if the oxygen is being ripped out from his lungs, suffocating slowly.

As if sensing his agitation, his daughter's cries from the other room grow louder, so much that they raise concern from their next door neighbor, a kind and sweet old lady who more than once has offered her help in watching over the child or help them out in any way she could. Typing in the passcode, she makes it there just in time to stop the tall male from inflicting more harm upon himself as he holds onto his wife's body in agony. Having been left with no choice, she immediately calls for an ambulance, who arrive there shortly and take him to a nearby hospital.

He was monitored 24/7 as he had a history of attempted suicide before. The nurses and doctors didn't want another episode to happen again, not wanting to leave a barely 1 year old fatherless as well as motherless. As an investigation went, police found a journal hidden deep between the mattresses on the bed. When they poured over the first pages, they knew there was much more to the story than just a doting husband who couldn't live without his wife, hence why he was relocated to the infamous asylum......

And a specialized woman was tasked to not only unmask the truth, but hopefully help a poor broken mind be put back together again.

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Hence why I'm here now, the folder I had read over and over again still on my lap. It honestly amazed me that I'd actually get to work on a case like this, and of course I took up the challenge of digging into a mind like Yunho's, not just to help him, but to leave a precedent for any other situations like this that came after.

"A precedent?" I remember the officer asking me.

"Yes. You'd be surprised just how common these types of toxic relationships there are in an everyday basis yet no one ever looks deeper because they're too focused treating a depressed person who's trying to kill themselves and don't focus on what they really are...."

Shutting the folder, I tucked it under my arm before turning on my heel.

"A manipulative individual who'll do anything to keep someone tied to them forever."

That's how I viewed Yunho, it's how I should be viewing him. At least until I could hopefully get him to change.

"How's......is my daughter ok?"

I let out a soft hum and nod as I scribbled something down on the notepad.

"She's fine. We're having someone take care of her in the meantime, don't worry."

Yunho let out a sigh of relief, fingers fidgeting against his thighs as he mustered up the courage to say something.

"Could I.....could I please see her?"

From the sad look in my eyes he could already tell the answer was negative.

"I'm sorry Yunho....I'm afraid until we see some improvement, we can't allow you to be reunited with her just yet."

I tried to keep my voice steady as I said that, bracing myself to possibly see him breakdown once more. He had already lost his wife and now learning that his only child was forced away from him could possibly send him spiraling down into another episode.

But Yunho instead took a deep breath and seemed calm.

"I understand.....it's ok..." I knew he was saying those last two words more to himself than to me.

Lifting his face up, he suddenly shocked me by looking so bright and rather happy.

"So I guess it's best if we begin right?"

Even to this day, I don't know whether I should have been delighted to have such a compliant patient.....

Or terrified.

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"Tell me Yunho, what was your first reaction when you saw your wife?"

A subtle hint of a smile curled at the corners of his lips.

"I thought she was the kindest and most caring person in the world, very pretty too. She just walked in and the room instantly lit up."

He was reminiscing about those times, I could tell. That fond look on his face was unmistakable.

"Do you believe you fell in love at first sight with her?"

His smile suddenly dissipated, eyebrows scrunching together as if recollecting memories from so long ago.

"I think.......I felt attracted to her.....but.....I don't think it was love?"

I could tell he felt conflicted with himself, but that's exactly what I wanted. I want him to question every feeling and sensation he felt at the moment so he could decide for himself if it was real or just a mere illusion he held. If he starts to second guess or question what he felt then he'd start reasoning and come to the conclusion that what he felt was wrong and mistaken. He'd see that his actions weren't justified.

"So when do you truly believe you fell in love with her?"

I stopped writing on my notepad and watched him close his eyes as he tried to pinpoint the exact time he felt whatever he thought was love.

"One night....one of our friends was feeling down in spirits. I witnessed how caring she was towards them...kindly reassuring them that they were loved, that they mattered. I vividly remember her kind eyes and loving smile as she comforted them. Then it hit me that she was that kind of person. Selfless, caring, doting, would sacrifice anything for her friends and family...... it was hard for anyone not to fall in love with her."

He turned his hand over, studying the wedding ring that he still wore to this day, the engravings of their initials being his prime interest.

"And at that moment I knew I had to have her. I couldn't let anyone else have her. I wanted her.... that love, compassion, empathy..her confidence and strong nature, I wanted-"

He stopped mid sentence and his eyes wizened in horror as he came to the realization I had foreseen long ago. He looked up at me, meeting my unwavering eyes that held no emotion at that moment.

"She had all the qualities I had always lacked in."

I took my glasses off and nodded.

"And I unconsciously wanted them for myself.... but the only way I could have them was...through her?" He seemed sickened with himself.

"Not exactly Yunho. You could have learnt to love yourself and raise your self esteem." I quickly scribbled my observation down.

"But I didn't. Instead I caged her up and slowly tore her down."

I couldn't help but let out an involuntary smile as he drew out that conclusion.

"Glad to know you've accepted that fact, even if it took several months for you to understand."

Shutting the notepad, I lifted myself up from my chair, straightening my blouse. Yunho followed suit.

"Is our session over?" He was always so polite, always escorting me out and holding the door open for me, which other doctors would have adamantly refused, too scared to come close to their patients. But not me. I let them have certain liberties at times.

"Not yet Yunho. As you've made remarkable progress, I got permission for you to see someone."

He was momentarily confused for a split second. Poor thing probably thought it was one of the nurses coming in to give him some new medication to take, which he hated with a passion. Stepping outside for a brief moment, I happily took the young baby in my arms, the little girl already used to seeing me as I always went to go see her after being with Yunho for a few hours. When I came back inside he had his back turned to me, once again staring off into nowhere. The light gurgled babbles the baby emitted caught his attention immediately. He whipped his head around so fast I thought he'd break his neck for a second. He teared up as the child began squealing in excitement as she recognized her father right away.

"Oh my-" He choked up with tears that he couldn't finish his sentence.

I calmly walked over to him, lightly bouncing the baby in my arms. Yunho hesitantly reached his hands out.

"Can I..?" He had such a hopeful glint in his eyes.

I didn't answer, I merely held his daughter out to him. As soon as she felt his embrace, she latched onto him as if he was one of the teddy bears she often slept with. Perhaps he was one.

No....he is one.

In my time of spending time with Yunho, I've come to strongly believe he is a sweet and tender individual. And judging by the way the little girl feels safe in his arms, I do believe he is capable of being truly loved.....

If he learns how to properly love not just someone else, but himself too.

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Stepping out of my car, I quickly grab the small pink bag on the passenger seat before locking it. Treading through the small patch of green grass, I ring the doorbell and wait for one of the occupants to open up for me. No surprise, I'm greeted by the same raven haired male I met nearly 3 years ago. He looks delighted to see me.

"Y/N. Hi!"

I wave at him, a small but genuine smile on my features.

"Hi Yunho. Did I come at a bad time?" I notice the apron covered in flour and leftover egg on it.

"Oh no not at all. Please come in."

Moving aside to let me pass, my nose catches the scent of baked goods filling the air. I can distinctly recognize the hints of lavender and french vanilla, an odd but surprisingly tasty combination. I spot out of the corner of my eye a little head peeking out from the kitchen, curious to know who had come to pay them a visit. Letting out a squeal, she quickly ran over to attach herself on my leg.

"Y/N!"

I chuckled and lightly run my fingers through her hair which was longer than the last time I saw it.

"Hi Jina, I see you've been baking something." We both chuckle as I scraped off some cake batter that had gotten on the tip of her button nose.

"Me and dad are making cupcakes for my friend's birthday party tomorrow." She explained.

"Wow that's a really nice gesture. I bet they'll turn out delicious."

Remembering that I was short on time and that I had one last task to carry out, I pull out the bag I had hidden behind my back and hand it to her.

"It's for you."

Her eyes began to sparkle so much they could rival all the stars in the galaxy. After thanking me like 20 thousand times, she plopped her tiny body on the couch to tear into the contents inside it. I shake my head before taking out a small paper from inside my trench coat.

"And this is for you."

Taking the slip from my fingers, Yunho opens it up and scans what it says. He seems confused for a moment, not fully understanding what it means. He looks to me once more, probably for the last time, asking for an explanation.

"It's your official release from the institution. No more drop in visits, no more eyes on you 24/7, and soon you won't have to continue with the prescribed medication, although when that happens they will send someone once in a while to check up and make sure you're ok without them."

Yunho nods but it is a rather sad and pained nod.

"So this means you won't be seeing us any longer?"

I inhale deeply and nod.

"This was a temporary thing until you got better Yunho. After all....I was only the doctor assigned to you."

It hurt me to say that as much as it probably hurt him, as much as it'd hurt Jina to know I wouldn't be coming back anymore.

"Can't we at least be friends?"

I hated seeing those puppy eyes of him practically beg me, signature trait he passed on to his daughter.

"That would be completely unprofessional of my part Yunho. I deeply cherish and treasure all the time we spent together and I'm beyond happy and satisfied that you've come so far since the start of our journey..."

I sighed deeply.

"But every journey has an end." He finished my sentence.

Extending his hand out to me, I took it and gave it a firm shake.

"I'm really going to miss you." He admitted.

"Me too. Me too."

Going over to the momentarily forgotten 4 year old, she let out an 'oof' when she suddenly found herself cooped up in my embrace.

"Take care of yourself and of your dad ok?"

I kissed the top of her head, her grinning face not registering that this might be the last time she ever saw me. Yunho walked me out the door and even escorted me all the way to my car. Always the gentleman, he held the door open for me. Before I could even get one foot inside, I felt a large hand grip my wrist. Turning to him, I was flustered when he suddenly pulled me close to him.

"Please don't leave. I need you....I..."

He looked conflicted with himself as he tried to finish his words. Taking a deep breath, he confessed:

"I love you."

My heart sank. He said the 3 words I hoped he'd never direct at me. Mainly because I was scared as he was. Don't get me wrong, Yunho is a wonderful man, and he truly deserves to be loved....

But am I certain that he has finally learned to love? Or is it because he feels he needs me?........

Only one way to find out.

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[wearepurplejackets]

Rereading chapter 71 (because the eternal suffering to me is never enough!) THE SEVEARANCE

Nah, here again because important reasons (like how #JSHK is driving me crazy! Cray-cray.)

I found interesting how the eyes of Hanako-kun is telling us everything we need to know. (Most of the times.) And everything that goes on in his head at that special moment. Let's see it!

First, he hugs her (the creepiest way ever a boy has embraced a girl I guess(?)) and pay attention to the eyes. They are full and darkened the same way as Tsukasa's are when he gets wild. (I can't assume if he is being possessed by something evil like the spirit of the red house, because Hanako sometimes get berserked at some high points in the story.) BUT, what I can imagine is that this happens... when he is lying. When he is hiding something, hiding how he feels and how sad he is. Because he have lost a lot of important loved ones. (Someone take the remote out of this kid's hands and destroy the repeat button!) Remembering the way Amane treated Tsuchigomori when he was concerned about him at the school, about the bullying, about his health... It seems like Amane was someone (really stubborn yeah) who keep hiding his own suffering in order to keep going forward, to fullfil something maybe... but of course, that never ends well.

Let's continue!

Hanako tries to make Yashiro forget him and Aoi-chan because well (deceased reasons)... And also: since when he could do that??? Whatever, Sumire gave that protection charm to Yashiro, so the evil supernaturals couldn't harm her. But I don't think that's the real reason.

The charm activated itself because Hanako didn't have good intentions with her in that moment. Yashiro felt like she was in danger (she even took steps back in another scene) but Hanako-kun is not an evil ghost (just a really stupid one). I really believe Hanako got (A LOT OF) problems, but... he is not being possessed by any sh*t, he knows perfectly what he is doing right now and he never think about how he truly feels or about others perspectives.

(I want to punch him.) He keeps lying with that facade. He wants to protect her at all cost even if that means...

Disappearing.

He is such a liar, because in the end, (like we would know in later chapters, thanks Teru btw), there is a way to reconnect with the 7 mysteries of the school. Oh, but Yashiro is crying and this is when everything starts to fall...

She asked him to explain her everything that was happening, and now again, come back to the eyes. His eyes are normal again, because he is saying the truth now. Without second meanings. And with that it comes the fake smile and how he tries to close his eyes to seem even more casual.

Without showing other real emotions or feelings, so that way his loved ones won't feel bad about him (seriously kid, stop repeating your destructive behaviours please I beg you!) even if they are actually suffering a lot and he can't see it...

Until the blindfold falls off.

Yashiro discovers that he had lied to her (Again kid, again!) all the time during their last adventure and what is worse: Hanako is selfish and never listen to anyone. Because if he had paid attention he would know Yashiro can't accept (his sh*t anymore!) this reality. She can't let her best friend die. And even less if her friend dies instead of herself. She is prepared to just give Hanako the punch of his life but... then again.(THE EYES.)

She can't. Because in that moment she has realised that... she loves him. And even if all that he has done is... terrifying, even if he has done all of it because of her, to protect her because that was the only possible way to save his most loved one... Even if he has sacrificed someone important to her instead, even if he is so dense that he is ready to dissapear in the spot because of her. All of it because of her and his egoistic need to save her.

None of that matters to her.

No, no... no. To Yashiro, losing Hanako is more important than anything. And nothing else matters right-now. "Just: don't go." And as his body is doing, his facade imitates.

The light in his eyes come back in the first panel, the emotion in his face returns finally to be a spectator of what is to come. Because Yashiro is crying and she is suffering and as much as he tried to avoid that, that conclusion was impossible. Because they both feel the same way about each other even if he was trying to not see it, he is understanding it all now too. And he also understand he will never talk to Yashiro... anymore. This is the goodbye and there is no lies in this world that can deceive... the purest truth.

Yeah, sorry if made you cry but eh... blame it on AidaIro. And not me... Well, maybe a litle too. (Also, please support the authors buying their manga in legal platforms or book stores! In Spain we're reading the 6th volume already and we will receive the 7th soon! ^^)

[acklesterritory]

That Kind of Love Never Dies_Chapter 1

Hey guys, Now that more voted to split my fictions in 2 parts, I'm back with the first part. I hope you like it. Don't forget to leave me feedbacks. I'll always appreciate them. Love you all.

This is for writing event @tvdspngirl314

My quote is "That kind of love never dies"

Dean x Reader series (just 2 parts)

This chapter words: ~5k

Series warning:

Angst, fluf, smut, angry Dean, hurt Reader, hurt Dean, there's some more but I hate spoilers so I insist on "Angst & Hurt"

It all started with a stupid argument at home. What was it? Three months ago? Sam couldn't remember the exact date but after years, it was the first time this awkward coldness between Dean and Y/n had started to build. He could remember the first time he and his brother came across Y/n like it was yesterday, they were hunting a very nasty creature who used to kidnap young and lonely women at night, then got them wrapped in ropes and ties on a bed in a warehouse to rape, torture and feed on their blood until the victim either died or accepted to turn into one of his kind.

Sam could remember the helplessness in people's eyes too. The pain of the victims' families, the frustration and anger on cops' faces when no one could find the criminal yet, even after the sixth missing girl.

"Sammy, he just kidnapped another girl. And I think I know where he's gonna take her. Let's hunt this son of a bitch."

When Dean was saying that, Sam never expected him to fall in love with the woman they would save that night. Well, unfortunately they weren't fast enough to prevent any harm to the girl. When they arrived and Dean killed the nasty creature, Y/n was almost dead. The monster had already raped her, tortured her … and when he felt the hunters enter the place, he drank almost all of her blood, to gain more energy to fight. So as always, Dean was up to blaming himself. Of course only in his own eyes, not anyone else's.

"Call Cas to come home. Tell him it's an emergency."

Dean told his brother when he finally could get Y/n out of those ropes. And Sam knew he was right. At that point, no one could save Y/n unless God or his angels. Maybe she was not so lucky coming across a nasty supernatural creature like that but she was lucky enough that Cas arrived just on time and healed her. However, angels can only heal physical wounds. But Y/n was hurt much more than that. She couldn't just move on from the things that the bastard had put her through. Even after Cas tricked her brain to forget some certain things, she still had bad nightmares and had this dark shade of hopelessness in her eyes. Soon, she started to eat and talk less and less. And Dean just couldn't let her go. He really wanted to fix all of that for her but she kept shutting him out… until the depression hit her. It was so bad that Cas felt the need to tell them to prepare themselves for her death. Because after all those days and unlike everything else in their lives, The Winchesters were already used to her presence around them; like the way a lonely person can get used to a wounded cat more and faster than anyone else.

"I'm not gonna hunt until I'm sure she can live her normal life." When Dean stated that, Sam really thought he was joking. But after a few days he started to believe it. Dean truly would do anything to keep her alive. From cooking vegetables to laughing at his own dad jokes in front of Y/n to make her smile. That was when Sam started to feel that they can be more than a random hunter/rescued victim relationship! It felt like his brother had finally found his motivation in life: "Saving Y/n."

Gradually Y/n started to respond to this special attention from Dean with trust and smiles. Soon they became a power couple that could motivate each other so easily that sometimes Charlie would call them out. And honestly Sam had no problem with it. In fact Y/n had become his other sister.

"My God, Dean! You're burning up!" It was two day after a werewolf hunt in which Dean had got hurt. At first it was just some scratches on his arms and chest. Yet as the time passed, more symptoms started to appear: headache, pain, fever, cold sweat, even nose bleeding and before they could figure it out, Dean fell unconscious. Apparently the claws of the werewolf were poisonous. However Sam wasn't sure. The only thing he got no doubts about was the fact that it was already too late. Dean couldn't make it to the hospital. So either Sam had to do anything possible to save him or Cas should've picked up his God damn phone.

"No. no, no, no, no. Dean … Dean!!!"

That was when Sam got to hear Y/n's helpless cry and see her true feelings. She was already in love with his brother.

Luckily, unlike typical love stories; no one died that night. Sam's antidote worked. And Dean opened his eyes an hour later.

"Sammy … Y/n?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Y/n grabbed his face and put her thirsty lips on her beloved hunter's, letting the tears stream down on her face… and then his.

"Never do that again." She begged, breaking the kiss, her trembling hands holding Dean's face so she could look into his eyes.

Sam couldn't stop his smile remembering how cute they were. Y/n literally had Dean wrapped around her little finger, to the point he accepted to teach her how to hunt and soon she was part of their team too. Until … a few months ago. After two years of them being constantly close to each other, Sam could tell something was off when Dean started to go out without eating breakfast with Y/n. Of course she got suspicious after the third time and that was when their endless arguments started.

"Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Because nothing is wrong, Y/n."

Actually there was. Something was VERY wrong. Anyone could tell that just by the change in Dean's eyes whenever he wanted to look at Y/n. Day by day he was getting more quiet and cold. Now they didn't even eat pie together or watch movies late at night. And Sam couldn't ignore his brother being grumpy or drunk on hunts, not anymore.

"Ok man, I've had enough. You either tell me what's wrong with you or next time I won't make any excuses so you can leave Y/n out of our hunt plans. I'm serious, Dean, I'll tell her the truth." He finally said, when they were alone in the impala, on their way to do their next hunt.

"She wants more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it's like she sees more in me. She thinks we can have a different life. There's no need for any saying, I can see it in her eyes whenever we accidentally come across some family at a diner that try to feed their kids or people's wedding photos whenever we go to talk with some witnesses or whoever during the research! Sometimes she even looks up wedding dresses or kid stuff on the net!" Dean blew his anger out of his nostrils and sighed, shaking his head.

"Wow." Sam couldn't find the proper word to say but he couldn't hide his surprised face either.

"What?" Dean gave him an annoyed look.

"I mean …" Sam chuckled. "… are you telling me you're actually angry with her for imagining the things you always dream about?!"

"Sam …"

"No, really. I'm just curious. What's wrong with you, man?" Sam asked genuinely, waiting for an answer.

"What's wrong with me?! You think something is wrong with me just because I'm the rational one in this relationship; who's actually able to see the difference between a dream and the reality?"

Yeah, anyone could take that earnest speech, but not Sam. He'd seen and knew enough about his brother.

"What's the reality? Aren't you and Y/N living that dream life already?"

"What?! No. No … that's not the same." Dean shook his head.

"Really? How is it not? It's been two years, Dean. You two are constantly with and/or around each other. Always worried when the other one is in trouble and still looking at one another like there is nothing in the world that can make you happy as much as this relationship. So … excuse me if I won't buy your pretty speech; man ." Sam said, Rolling his eyes.

"Ok, let's say you're right but ... is it gonna be like that forever? With all the supernatural crap that we have to take care of … and the constant danger and chaos in this hunter life we have… I …"

"You what?" Sam asked when Dean didn't finish his sentence. He was lost in his thoughts, staring at this unknown point in the depth of the road. Finally he blew out his despair.

"I just can't let her fall for the things I know I can't provide for her. It's not fair, Sammy. It's not fair to lock her up in this dark life with me just because she loves me … especially while I know there is a whole bright future out there waiting for her."

"Here we go, the old Dean's self-doubt" Sam thought to himself as he took a deep breath before finding the best words to wake his brother up from this nightmare

"Yeah, I know but I don't think it's your call. If Y/n wants to go to hell with you instead of living in heaven with someone else, it's her choice. Not your responsibility. Right?"

Dean shook his head while his lips curved up a little to fake a smile but he never answered or said anything about that conversation ever again. He kept his silence for like three weeks … until someone new showed up: "Gary Smith". A tall man with the most stylish haircut and the most perfect teeth and smile.

They saw him for the first time at their hangout bar, as the new bartender who almost jumped in Y/n's way as soon as they entered the bar.

"Oh my God, bunny! Is this really you?" He said, pulling her in his embrace. Like she was the long time missing piece of his beloved puzzle!

"Bonny? You're wrong. Her name is Y/n." Dean said, pretty annoyed by the way Gary tightened his arms around Y/n's little shoulders, making him chuckle.

"No, uh … it's just a nickname." Y/n said as soon as the guy let her go.

"Yeah, actually the most fitting nickname that I could think of. I mean … you have to agree. She got the most cute little ears in the world." The guy explained, chuckling and pulling on her little star earring. Well, if Sam wanted to be honest, he had to agree with him. He never paid any attention to it before but now that Gary mentioned it, he could tell Y/n's ears were truly small.

"I see … So … I guess this means you were close friends?" Dean said, already hating the way Y/n e's blushed with hearing her old nickname.

"Uh … well, no. Actually more than that." The guy grinned, ruffling his own hair while he was awkwardly laughing and looking at Y/n. Just like a proud embarrassed teen!

"We used to date." Y/n said.

*oh* Sam tried his best not to let that stupid grin sit on his lips but Dean's frown and his sudden heavy silence didn't let him do so.

"Yeah. We are kinda each other's first. Like … you know? prom date." The man added, giving Y/n a wink while Dean's gaze was still locked on his large arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah. It's been years, Gary."

"I know. But believe me, bunny. you still look the same." He said, bending to put a kiss on her right cheek.

Dean would kill him. Sam just knew that. Because his brother's eyes were already burning with jealousy.

"By the way, don't you wanna tell me who these gentlemen are ?" The guy asked Y/n, giving her his softest smile.

"Of course. This is Sam and this is Dean. My colleagues who are my friends now. I live in their place."

After they met, everything got even more complicated. Y/n, the girl who was still trying to get old-happy-days Dean back suddenly stopped whatever she used to do. No more complains, no waiting at nights to see Dean before going to bed, no more effort to get involved in hunts, no nothing. And despite what Dean had claimed before, it was making Dean even more frustrated. Day to day he and Y/n were getting colder towards each other and there was nothing he could do to fix it. That was what made him even more furious. Sam already knew all of that and he still had to live with both of those grumpy faces. So last night when they began to fight, he could see this was coming: Y/n left the bunker after Dean let some hurtful things out of his mouth, just because he didn't know how to deal with all the heartache anymore. He now was convinced that Y/n didn't love him anymore. Yet the next day after drinking whatever strong drink they had, he begged Sam to come with him. Apparently Jodie texted Dean about Y/n being in her place for that night. Just to make sure that her crazy step son won't sell his soul over a tracking spell! So Dean almost begged his brother to be there with him, cause Dean believed that as much as Y/n didn't care about him, she still respected Sam and cared about him. Like a little sister and her elder brother.

So here they were, In Jodie's living room, in front of her and Y/n.

"Considering your sleepy eyes, I think we caught you at bed time, huh?" Sam asked, checking Y/n's obvious eye bags.

"Who says that? I'm totally good, Sam."

She said with a small smile, looking much more in control and stronger than before. So Sam knew it was a lie. Y/n Just had made her peace with what had happened last night. The realization۹ kicked Dean in the gut. Y/n always used to be stronger and bolder when she got hurt.

"I'm gonna make some coffee for us. Why don't you guys take a seat till I come back?"

Jodie interrupted, to ease the heavy and sharp silence that suddenly had fallen over all of them.

Y/n gave her a smile.

"Of course."

It was so fake. Her smile didn't even curl her lips completely. She was still badly hurting.

Sam swore in his head when he looked over his brother who sank silently into the nearest seat at the end of the table like a broken shell that he was too . One of Dean's hands was in the pocket of his jacket, the other formed a fist on the table. Sam was sure Dean knew it too. He knew everything was almost past saving. "Almost". Sam tried to stick to their small chance.

"So …" He cleared his voice before he put some (semi fake) hope into his words."You're … you're gonna come back home today or did Alex and Claire made you promise them otherwise?" He laughed and tried to make it funny but the truth was he asked this for Dean's sake, knowing he already was struggling to find the words … to let Y/n know how much he wanted her back … to ask her to come back.

"To be honest … I don't think I can live in the bunker anymore." Y/n said and as Dean's head snapped up to look at her in horror, she raised her hand to stop his (likely) protests.

"I applied for a job 3 weeks ago and to my surprise they called me this morning to tell me I'd actually got it."

*What?*

No one had to ask it. The question was already hung in the air. She snored mockingly in her nose. "Perfect timing, right?"

She moved her gaze from her interlocked fingers on the table to Dean's eyes.

He didn't answer, he didn't move but he got tense. Still staring back at Y/n.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, once again saving Dean from asking the question he was itching to ask with some other words that for sure couldn't be nice.

"I wanted to but I didn't think I could actually get it and even if I did, I never figured out how to tell you. Besides, I never considered the "move out" option before..." She looked at Sam for a second before she turned her gaze on Dean. "... But I actually appreciate that you bring it up. I think now I can take the advice. I'm gonna move on."

Sam's heart dropped in his stomach when he heard those words. Because he knew what this meant. It felt something like having to watch Dean get stabbed in the heart.

"Is this … because of that Bartender?" Dean asked, staring deadly at Y/n with his bloodshot eyes. He was already chewing on his bottom lip. And Sam knew a heavy storm was on its way to hit them.

"I don't want to answer that question."

*shit*

"Why? Because you can't just simply say no?" Dean scolded and Sam could see how it pushed on Y/n boundaries.

"No. Because it's not your fucking business and it's not Gary's business either. But at least he knows his limits."

*well, fuck*

"By "limits" you mean when he drools on you just because for God knows whatever the reason, you started to wear leather jackets when we go there?"

"WHAT?!"

*Oh, fuck* Sam thought to himself, watching Y/n rise from her seat.

"You think … you really think that I …" she laughed nervously and Sam could tell she would punch Dean in the face if she wasn't a sweet, super nice person.

"How you can even …"

"I can even what, Y/n? Are we now going to pretend like I'm a blind man who can't see how you got attracted to your ex again? Did you really think I couldn't see how your hands were shaking when his filthy face lighted up by seeing you for the first time after all these years?"

Sam wanted to interrupt him or at least leave the room but everything was happening so fast.

"So what? Why and since when you care about my private life?"

"Since you stopped drinking bunker's beers just because you rather drink those crappy poisonous cocktails he makes at the bar!"

Dean was on his feet now as well. And despite his will, Sam couldn't stop his smile. He never saw his brother this jealous before. It was fun.

"Poisonous? … You … of all people, you are the one who says this? cause as much as I know, you're the one who puts dormitives in my guest's food so the poor guy gets tired and can't spend his time with me!"

"Yeah, because your poor guy is not welcomed in MY PLACE!" Dean yelled, punching the table with so much power that made everyone almost jump out of their skins.

"Dean!" Finally Sam interrupted but as soon as he stood up, someone rang the doorbell and Sam could hear Jodie welcoming someone inside.

"Guys … I know it's not my place to interfere but you two really need to sort things out somewhere private … of course that's when both of you can be much calmer than this."

"No, we have nothing to say or to talk about, anymore. Your brother was clear enough when he said he wants me to move out, so I'll move out. And that's it."

Y/n declared, looking at Sam to resist any eye contact with Dean, probably to make him even more crazy.

"And that's it? You wanna ignore that part where you were too eager and ready to accept that suggestion and leave the bunker instantly like your pants were on fire?!"

Dean retorted while Y/n was shaking her head like she couldn't believe him.

"Whose pants are on fire?" Jodie interrupted as soon as she re-entered the room with the coffees she'd made, this time a man was with her. Y/n's guy. The famous bartender.

*Oh, No!*

Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a second so the guy couldn't read his face.

"Obviously not mine." Dean hissed through his teeth, looking first at the guy and then at Y/n with such a disappointment and rage that no one could ignore.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The guy asked, choosing the worst spot to stand on: right next to Y/n.

"My typical life I guess. Nothing's new." She mumbled in reply to him but her eyes were still on Dean.

"No, nothing is wrong with your life, Y/n. It's about your choices. That's what's wrong with you. As always." Dean said bitterly. As sharp as a knife, as cold as ice. Sam could see how it drained color from Y/n's face.

"You better watch your mouth, buddy." The Gary guy warned Dean and Sam could tell that if it wasn't for the sudden thud sound that stole everyone's attention, Dean would throw a fight right there. But …

"Y/n!" Jodie almost screamed. Y/n was laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious.

"Oh, God." Sam said as Jodie rushed to her.

"Y/n? … Y/n can you hear me?"

As she sat next to her, Gary's fingers already were on Y/n's carotid pulse point. So Sam couldn't stop himself from looking up at his brother, who was still standing where he was. In shock.

"Oh, shit!" Gary's worried voice made Sam check Y/n's pale face again but Jodie was the one to dare ask the question which was on everyone's minds.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Her pulse ... too faint." He said before turning to Dean: "Is she bleeding?"

"Bleeding?" Dean blinked and mumbled in confusion.

If it was up to Sam, he'd ask *What bleeding?* & *Why are you asking this from my brother?*

"Oh my. You still don't know. Do you?" Gary sneered.

"Know what? What's happening?" Jodie was freaking out now and Sam actually felt the same. He didn't like the way this stranger pretended like he knew her better than them. However what happened next was much more unexpected. And … rude!

To everyone's surprise, the guy reached out to Y/n's jeans and drew his hand between her legs but before anyone could react, he spread her legs open so it could be possible for everyone to see that big red stain there. Then he raised his hand. It was all wet and red in blood!

"She's having a miscarriage." He revealed.

Sam's gaze instantly caught Dean's ... Burning. Dean was burning inside with his heavy silence.

"Don't you worry. It's not mine." Gary added more fuel to that hell with such a mocking tone, staring right back at Dean's eyes.

Now Sam could feel it. The storm was there: rising in his brother's roar!

Before Sam could've moved any muscles, Gary was already pinned to the wall, Dean's hands on his now-ripped-out collar.

"Dean, no!" Sam jumped in, trying to catch his brother's arm before his fist make any contact with the guy's nose but all he could do was changing the direction of the punch which landed on Gary's shoulder, making a painful cracking sound.

"I said no … Dean, stop it." Sam had to literally cage Dean in his arms so the furious man couldn't tear Gary apart.

"Get off me, Sam. This son of a bitch has to learn his place."

"Enough!" As Dean just broke himself free, Jodie's scream stopped everyone in their tracks.

"It's enough!" Jodie warned all three men, pointing at them one by one.

"You want to fight? Not here. Not in my house!"

"But ..."

As soon as Dean opened his mouth to protest, Jodie cut him:

"And you … you should know Y/n is pregnant with your twins. So … you'll be a responsible man who will try his best to save them or you can get the hell out of here and never come back!"

"What?" Sam was too shocked to suppress his reaction while Dean couldn't even find any words to say. His confused look darted between Jodie's face and Y/n's figure while his parted lips kept moving without making any noise, just like a dying fish on the shore!

"I promised her not to tell anyone but it was a promise under normal conditions, not this." Jodie sighed, struggling to keep her emotions under control. Sam saw the worry in her frown. Like a real mother, worried for her children. However it was nothing in comparison to his brother's blank eyes and pale face.

"Dean, It's ok. We just need to take her to hospital. … it's ok, man. I promise."

He had to grab Dean by his jacket, as his brother was struggling to process all of these in his head.

"Come on, man. We got no time. Do I need to do this alone or you'll …"

"Get the car, Sammy."

It was just a simple sentence. Yet it had enough power to make Sam's heart sank. Since Dean had put the car keys in his hand saying that, Sam couldn't stop thinking about that tone. Dean never had called Baby a "car" In years. And Sam had never heard that crack in his voice since their Dad's death.

"You ok?" He finally let himself ask, two hours after they arrived at the hospital.

"I want to be." Dean closed his eyes and put his head against the cold wall, letting the dim light to darken the shadows under his eyes.

"I'm sure she'll be good. She's strong, Dean. You know that."

He smiled and Sam looked away not to watch him. He knew that smile. Dean used to give him that, whenever everything was gone so wrong that Dean couldn't promise him anything good. Like when both of them were still kids. Hungry, cold and all alone in a rusty motel room where John had left them on their own for a one day long hunt but then a heavy snow had crashed the roads and kept them apart for half a week. So Dean had to wash the dishes and do the laundry in the motel to rent the room for another day and provide some snacks so they wouldn't starve to death. But after three days, the hotel managers didn't want them to be around. And Sam could vividly remember that smile on his brother's face when he asked: *Where should we go then?*

"You were always such a father material. You know?"

Sam admitted with a broken smile on his face.

"You were always responsible, kind and caring with me as a kid. And I can't imagine anyone who deserves to be a father more than you."

Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes without looking at him: "But I don't want ... I really can't, Sammy."

All, it certainly wasn't the response Sam had expected. He used to believe that Dean would never turn down any chance to start a family with Y/n. Especially after everything in the world was back to normal.

"Are you kidding me? You always wanted this."

"No …" Dean finally turned his gaze to meet his brother's confused eyes. "No, Sammy. Not like this. I don't want to raise another kid without his mom. I'm not that strong anymore."

Dang. Once again Sam's heart dropped in his stomach. Dean was really helpless.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Dean was on his feet as Sam just realized the doctor's presence.

"It's me."

Sam prayed for any good news as doctor took a glance of Dean and fixed his glasses on his face …

"To be continued …"

READ CHAPTER 2 HERE

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The next and also ultimate chapter will post on Sunday, April 25. Thanks for reading.

Feedback are always appreciated.

[odd-birds-and-booksellers]

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curing round his, the one resting on her bump. He can feel his lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall. 

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

On one of the rare occasions, Alex and Jo’s days off don’t coincide, Alex finds himself wishing for a six-hour surgery, hell he’d rather be removing splinters than deciding between lemon sherbet and soft daffodil. To say he was excited about the impending arrival of their second child would be an understatement but completing the ridiculously long list Jo had left him to do this morning before rushing off with Robin felt more like torture.

He understood though, with only two months to go everything seemed to pile up on them, the quiet calm they had mistaken for panic when Robin was on the way paled in comparison when they were trying to juggle two full time demanding careers, a new puppy, a new baby and a toddler whose main goal in life seemed to be giving his parents a heart attack with the many hiding places he could find.

And this is how Alex found himself staring into the abyss of a million Amazon boxes that Jo had somehow managed to sneak by him, with various shades of yellow paint cans dotted around.

He understood Jo’s desire to make everything perfect, she’d been that way since she’d stepped out of the loft bathroom over two years ago, her hands shaking as she lifted the test towards him clearly displaying two lines. He swears they both had good intentions when Robin was born, he wouldn’t be spoiled, there wouldn't be gifts that make up for missing birthdays or missing bedtimes, they’d be honest about mommy and daddy having to work hard for everything they have and yet they couldn’t seem to stop themselves, because the luxury of giving their son and now their daughter everything they’d never had brought more happiness to Jo and Alex then maybe their children would ever understand. There could never be a single second their children doubted how loved and wanted they truly were, so it didn’t matter if their daughter would be in with them for the first few months, her room had to be finished before she arrived.

Their daughter...he smiles at the mere thought of her, their daughter, who likes to kick when their reading Robins bedtime stories, or plays the guitar on Jo’s rib cage until Alex sings along softly with her in the early hours of the morning, their daughter who’d refused to make herself seen for the first two scans.

It’s only when Alex finishes the last coat of soft daffodil that he hears the faint ringing of his phone above the radio. Shuffling down the ladder he wipes the back of his hand on his shirt as he hears the familiar ringtone sound again making Alex frown as he manages to navigate his way through the maze of boxes he's built around himself.

There’s a slight twitch in his chest as he begins down the stairs hearing his phone fall quiet only to start up again seconds later. He finds it still plugged in by the coffee machine where he’d left it, glancing at the screen to see he had twelve missed calls and three voicemails.

There's a definite twitch in his chest now as he clicks play on Jo's first voicemail, his lips twitching up at the sound of Robin's singing. They sounded like they were still in the car as Jo listed off a few more things she needed him to do.

"Hey, sorry I know you said not to go overboard but there are two more deliveries coming today so make sure to listen out for them and oh oh...if you get a chance to go grocery shopping we need...well we need pretty much everything but get me those cupcakes with the oranges on them and oh erm..." She paused after taking a slightly heavy breath. "I do not feel great today, maybe I can get someone to take over my surgeries. Oh and don’t forget to get the box of baby clothes down from the attic will you...okay... I love you, Alex, I’ll call you later."

He frowned quickly, bypassing the message Meredith had left, assuming it was whatever love triangle tragedy she had that day. He finds Jo's second message. There was no greeting to this one, only Jo's panicked voice.

"Why aren’t you answering the phone Alex? What’s the point of having one if you don’t ever answer it?”

His phone beeped again, signalling another message had been left, this time from Meredith again.

"Alex, where the hell are you? You need to be here now. I don't know if Jo is trying not to worry you but Carina is having her admitted so get over here before I leave work and drag you here myself.”

He felt his heart begin to drop in his chest as he hit replay, trying to piece together what was happening. Before he even knew it his feet were carrying him towards the front door, keys in hand as he rushed out. His entire mind had narrowed in on one simple need: to get to Jo.

He couldn't think of much else as he drove, he doesn’t even remember his route to the hospital he just remembers being at home and then bursting through the doors of Grey Sloan. He was severely out of breath by the time he caught sight of Meredith outside the maternity ward talking quietly with Bailey.

The best thing about Meredith, and what made her excel as a doctor, was that she was damn good in a crisis. So she knew the minute their eyes met that Alex just needed Jo. As soon as he’s within reach she wraps an arm around his shoulder—which felt way too much like condolences for Alex's liking and leads him through the doors where Carina was already waiting. This had to be a mistake. Jo was fine last night. Their daughter was fine last night. He’d felt her kicking as they’d talked. They’d talked about his mom's upcoming visit, and maybe going to see Amber and her family for Christmas or inviting them here.

"—I know. It's awful." Carina mutters her eyes on Jo's chart. The intern beside her nodded in agreement.

"I hope Dr Karev shows up before the ultrasound. She shouldn't have to deal with that alone." The intern responds.

“He’s here,” Carina whispers as she looks up, hearing Alex and Meredith footsteps as she tucks the chart under her arm. “If you can go set up the ultrasound while I talk to him.”

"Of course."

Alex gulps at the sorrow on Carina’s face as she steps closer, it's all too much for him as he averts his gaze down to the floor, his eyes catching on the silver band around his finger, splattered with yellow paint from earlier.

"What's going on?" Alex asks, hearing his voice crack as Meredith drops her hand from his back.

"Alex, you need to take a breath and pull yourself together because right now Jo needs you.”

He doesn't respond to Mer, doesn't even look at her as he raises his gaze back towards Carina, “What’s going on?” He repeats, his voice lower this time.

"Jo's in premature labour. She mentioned a couple of hours ago that she had some pretty bad Braxton Hicks, but then she timed them and they were too close together and too regular. So she paged me, and when I checked her cervix had already begun to open-”

Alex found himself nodding along but Carina’s words soon faded to quiet buzz in his ears. His fingers are already twitching to hold Jo. This couldn’t be happening, not to them. Not now.

"Okay." He whispers his voice dangerously low as he blinks back tears, desperately trying to pull himself together when everything in him was burning. Please don’t do this, please don’t take her from us, please don’t do this to her . He can feel his nails digging into the palm of his hand, the only way he's sure he’s still alive is the dull pain he feels as he takes a deep breath gathering himself slowly. Suddenly his doctor brain kicks in as he begins to ask what they are doing to fix this, listing everything he knew like he wasn’t surrounded by some of the best doctors he knew.

Carina nods, her words still buzzing in Alex’s head as she explains the past couple of hours, Jo’s contractions stopped an hour ago, her cervix hasn't opened any further.

“We’re just waiting to do an ultrasound...it really needs to be done right away.”

“Right...what's the problem then?”

“She’s refusing Alex, won't let anyone near her.”

Alex shakes his head, that's not true. Jo wouldn’t...she would never do anything that could harm their baby. She wouldn’t refuse medical care. He watches as Meredith shoots another look to Carina who sighs, tilting her head in a way that has Alex’s heart dropping into his stomach. “I tried earlier with the stethoscope to find the heartbeat...and was unsuccessful.”

"Alex, do you understand? We couldn't find a heartbeat. Dr DeLuca tried and I did too. Even Jo tried...now she’s refusing the ultrasound, she won’t let anyone touch her."

The childish reaction was quick and automatic. "Maybe you didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t do it right, okay? You know you should check properly.”

Carina took a deep breath. "Alex, I'm sorry. I’m going to do an ultrasound, of course, but…I don't know. It's usually easy to hear it with a stethoscope at twenty-eight weeks. Intrauterine deaths happen and there's not much—"

He felt like he couldn't breathe. His hand was clutching at his chest trying to feel the air filling his lungs but he couldn’t feel a thing as everything went fuzzy again. "Stop. Just shut up. You don’t know Jo. You don’t know our…"

"I'm so, so, s o sorry, Alex," Mer whispered. "I know how much you wanted her."

He felt his eyes burning. "I still want her. And you're wrong because I just felt her kick last night. She was kicking when I sang—she always does that. She does. So she can't be dead."

He chokes on his words. “She’s not...dead.”

There’s a quiet discussion mainly between Carina and Meredith who seems to be answering for Alex as they both guide him towards a door at the end of the corridor:

He has to stand outside the door for a full minute as he tries to get a hold of himself. He doesn’t want his face to show how truly scared he is at this moment.

When he does finally gather himself enough to step into the room he notices how the curtains were pulled, blocking almost all of the sunlight from the otherwise dark room. Jo was curled up onto her side, her entire body tucked protectively around Robin's sleeping frame. She hadn't even lifted her head or made a move to turn when the door shut behind Alex, and that terrified him so deeply that he couldn't even move. It had all suddenly gotten very real.

He walked slowly around the bed so he could see her face, he needed to meet her eyes or he’d never believe any of this was true. But as he rounded the bed he was met with her blank stare, blinking slowly as she took in his form.

"Robin needs to go home. I don't want him to have to see any more of this." She said quietly. She made no move to speak about what was going on. She was emotionless and it terrified him. Suddenly flashbacks of the first time he’d ever seen her look so shut down came to mind. When she’d first met her biological mother. When she’d shut down and left him out in the cold. He wasn’t sure he could survive it back then, he’d needed her so much but now he was certain he’d never survive without her.

Alex turned his focus to his son, who was asleep with his face scrunched up against Jo’s chest, his chubby hands resting on the swell of her stomach.

"I can get Mer to take him home with her." He told Jo quietly, he couldn't find any other words to say, it seemed neither could she.

Jo just nods in response but makes no effort to move. Alex could tell by her hand curling tighter around Robin's back that she wasn’t quite ready to let him go yet.

He’s not sure how much time passes next, as he takes a seat carefully on the edge of the bed. Reaching out gingerly to run his hands softly across Jo's cheek. And it’s in that moment when their eyes meet, his thumb tracing the already dried tear tracks down her face that they break. She lifts her right arm gathering a handful of his shirt tightly pulling him closer, pressing her cheek against his chest so she could hear his steady heartbeat. She doesn't say anything and for a second she’s silent before the sob she must’ve been holding back erupts from her and Alex can feel the tears begin to soak through his T-shirt. He feels powerless, all he can do is keep a steady arm wrapped around his wife holding her tightly to him. That was what hurt him the most about this. He couldn't do anything to take her pain away. He couldn’t fix this.

“Jo…Jo Carina is waiting to do an ultrasound…we need…we need to be sure.” Alex sighs trying to keep his tears at bay as she continues to shake in his arms. “Why won’t you let her help?”

"I didn't want anyone else." She finally admits, loosening her grip enough that he can see her face, her lips trembling as she speaks. The sight alone sends another sharp stab through Alex’s heart. "I didn't want anyone. I wanted you. I wanted—I wanted you to make it better."

Alex nods, wishing with everything in him that he could make any of this better. He lets out a shaky breath as Jo settles back down so her head was resting on his chest, her face pressing into his collarbone. He knows it is selfish, he knows it might kill them both but he can’t help reaching out over Robin's little body and pressing his hand to her stomach. He waits a moment…before pressing again, still waiting to feel the usual response. He hears Jo's breath hitch as she too waits for the little nudge of their daughter's feet, he knows she’s usually responded by now but he waits, he just keeps waiting. He thinks sort of him will always be waiting for that little kick…he thinks this moment might be frozen in time. Not us. This happens to people, but not us. Maybe it wasn’t fair to think like that, after all, every day he sees the worst card parents could ever be handed in life and yet he says the same lines about support groups and doing everything he could and not once did he think he’d ever need to hear those words.

He doesn’t know how long he keeps his hand there just waiting. "I just finished painting the nursery. I went with soft daffodils but if you prefer lemon sherbet we can change it…we can pick whatever colour you want, and I know I said we didn’t need a new crib but if you want that fancy one we’ll-“

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curling around his own on her bump. He can feel his own lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall.

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

There’s no logic to what he said. There’s no truth to his reasoning but he believes it. Jo winces at his words or more likely one word in particular. He feels her drag his hand down to where Robin's tiny hands rest, a little reminder of what they still have.

Alex moves closer to them, pulling Robin gently onto his chest, sliding over and opening his arms for Jo. Letting her sink into him. She rests against him like she no longer has the strength to hold herself up.

“I'm sorry. I thought it was nothing more than Braxton Hicks. Can you believe that? I’m a freaking doctor and I couldn’t tell the difference between Braxton hicks and labour. I should have known better. I did this. This is my fault—"

Alex cuts her off, shushing her. "It's not your fault," he assures her. Life was unfair. He knew that. But this pain Jo didn’t deserve. Not his children. Not Robin. Not their new little girl with the stars on her ceiling. Not his family. They hadn't built this together for it to be broken.

"Please don't cry," she pleaded, her voice wavering. "Please don't, it terrifies me. I'm already so scared, Alex. I'm so scared."

Alex just nods, swallowing deeply as he pulls her tighter against his side. It was true that everything had changed once he'd had children. He no longer understood how he had lived without them. And he was realizing that everything he gained could be taken just as easily. He knew that, if this baby really were gone, there would be nothing he could do to ever fix the pain that would settle in Jo's heart or his own for that matter.

He feels Robin begin to stir against him and he forces a smile on his face and kisses his head, smiling genuinely when the little one lifts his arms, reaching out for his father in an instant.

"Daddy” He cheered, his little fists gripping Alex’s T-shirt as he shifted him higher up his chest. He settles his palm on the back of his head and kisses his head again.

"Robin, how would you feel about playing with Ellis, Bailey and Zola tonight?" He asks him carefully.

Robin is as stubborn as his mother. "Scout?" He suggests instead.

"Yeah okay, we can see if Uncle Link will take you. You can play with Scout and then mommy and daddy will see you when you wake up." He knows Robin has no real clue on what’s happening around him but he knew Jo had been right. He didn't need to be here.

Robin lifts his head and peers down at Jo. He seemed to be thinking hard about the proposition before shaking his head fiercely.

"No."

No was his new favourite word and Alex was already sick of hearing it. He strokes his hair back as he meets eyes with Jo. Her tears are still falling steadily. Her hands spread out over her stomach and he knew she was waiting to feel something still.

"No, I want mommy," Robin insists. His little face mustering up what Alex assumed was a scowl as he reached over to wrap his hand around one of Jo's curls hanging loose in front of her face. Alex didn’t have it in him to battle Robin today, it’s not like he wanted to let go of Jo either.

They were out of time to decide what to do about Robin because Carina was already wheeling in the ultrasound. Jo tensed beside him, her hand gripping his tightly as he rose from his place on the bed lifting Robin with him.

"I can't. Please." She whispers and if possible his heart cracked even more.

She was hanging on by a thin thread, but she was hanging onto him. They could survive this…they could survive it together. He lifts Robin higher up his chest, gently cradling Robin's head to his shoulder as the little one's legs wrapped around him.

Alex stared at the swell of Jo’s stomach, the same stomach he'd kissed just last night and singing old country songs much to Jo's amusement. There was no way…there was no way she was…he’d just finished her room…the paint was still wet. Her name is written in stars above her crib. She can’t be.

Alex didn't even realize he was crying until Carina flashes him a sympathetic smile. Robin lifts his head as he squirms in his fathers’ tight grip, peering up at him with a frown. Reaching out to touch his cheeks with his small hands.

"Daddy sad?” He whispers curiously. Alex was torn because there’s no way of explaining this to their toddler and he doesn't want to scare him. Instead, he settles for pressing him back against his chest, his little face squeezed against his neck because while he didn’t want him to watch he also couldn’t bear to let him go.

He watches as Carina helps Jo to sit up. It was too much to watch, the way her whole body shakes as her cries shook through her. He reached for her hand, laying limp by her side, his hand covering hers as he threaded their fingers together. She squeezes his hand back, gripping onto him like he was the only thing stopping her from coming undone. Her hand in his gave him a spark of hope that maybe no matter what happened next they’d make it together, as long they just kept holding on.

He almost dropped Robin in paralyzing relief when the familiar whooshing of the heartbeat filled the room. He lets out a cry of relief as he shakes his head. Alex presses his face back into Robin's hair and squeezes Jo's hand tightly, his heart still pounding away.

"Why wasn't she moving?" Jo asks, her voice hoarse. "I tried everything and she wouldn't move. And why couldn't you find it before?"

"Babies don't move much if at all during labour," Carina explained. "And I don't know. I listened for such a long time.” Once again Alex’s mind blocks out the surrounding noise until it’s a quiet buzz. Instead, he focuses on the image of their baby girl on the screen, the feel of Robin's hot breath against his neck and Jo's hand still clutching his tightly. His family. He’s had these images ever since they’d decided to try for a second…maybe even longer, before Robin, before he and Jo had even got married he’d had this whole dream…Jo, their kids and the house they’d live in and the life they’d live. “But you'll have to be on strict bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy, and even then there's no way to know how long you can prolong labour. If we can keep her from being born for at least a month she’ll be in a much better position."

He comes back down to reality when he feels Jo tug at his hand, she’s looking up at him expectantly. “There’s our girl,” He whispers, leaning closer, pressing a quiet kiss to her hair, not even glancing at Carina as she backs out of the room to give them a moment.

"What if I have to give birth soon?" She mumbled into his shirt. "What if we lose her anyway?"

He shook his head firmly. "We won't.”

He kisses her forehead and glances down at Robin before turning back to Jo. She was looking at him with that look. The one that communicated very clearly that she trusted him with everything in her.

Alex set his hands on her stomach and let out another relieved breath.

"God." He said quietly. She set her hand over his and caressed the back of his hand with her thumb.

Jo's expression twists with guilt. "I’m so sorry...this is all my fault. I've been overworking myself. I always think I can do so much more than I can and our girl is suffering because of it. Maybe I'm not fit to be a mother."

Alex shook his head. "If you're not fit to be a mother, Jo, no one is. Hell, you know what an unfit parent looks like and you are not one."

She opens her mouth to say something else, but abruptly she stops, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. Her expression goes from shock to joy in no time at all as she grabs his hands gently and moves them back to her stomach, pressing down lightly. Alex feels a familiar, returning nudge, gentle and soft, but definitely there. He laughs giddily and locks eyes with Jo, pleased when she laughs in return. He moves around the bed, leaning over Jo so he could press a kiss to the spot he'd last felt the nudge. He keeps his cheek pressed against her soft skin for a moment, whispering a quiet ‘I love you.’ before looking back at Jo’s teary gaze.

"Robin, come here. Come feel your sister." He tells the toddler. Alex tugs him up into his lap and helps guide his hand to the spot he'd just kissed. He applies slight pressure and laughs at the joyous giggle Robin gives when he feels the baby move underneath his hand.

"That's your little sister."

Robin looked up at her father and smiled but the tiny movements didn’t keep his attention for long as he began to climb out of Alex’s grip, into Jo's welcoming arms.

“It’s gonna be okay Jo. We’re gonna be okay.”

Jo looks up at him. Tears still trailing down her face but the sparkle missing from her gaze earlier was slowly making its way back.

He smiles gently, reaching out to cup her face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs softly over the wet trails her tears left. "Everything’s gonna be okay.” He promised. "You'll see."

And she did. A little over two months later their baby girl made her entrance into the world, a little less dramatic than her brother as she’d been monitored so closely, that it was no surprise when she decided to join everyone. With her brown eyes sparkling with the same warmth as her mother’s and a full head of hair she was every little bit perfect as Alex had imagined. A little taste of heaven.

“Hey, baby…welcome home.” Alex grinned as he pulled open the door to the nursery, ushering in Robin who proudly displayed the teddy he’d chosen for his baby sister as Jo slowly made her way inside. She’d been too afraid to step inside since the incident, she claimed it would jinx it.

“Oh wow…” She hummed happily looking down at the bundle in her arms, who as predicted was still asleep and had no understanding of the magnitude of the moment happening around her. “Aren’t you a lucky girl P?”

“Mommy… I see…you sit.” Robin yelps, pulling Jo from the bottom of her cardigan towards the new rocking chair set up in the corner. Jo is all too happy to take a seat, allowing Robin to catch sight of his baby sister.

“It’s perfect Alex…Thank you.” Jo mumbles after a minute, catching Alex’s eye who had taken the moment to settle against the door frame and just watch his family.

He smiles softly, before pushing up off the frame heading towards the window. “You haven’t seen the best bit.” He pulls the blinds down slowly, letting darkness take over the room leaving only the glowing stars for light.

Robin gasped as he looked around in wonder but Jo's eyes remained trained on Alex. “I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you.” Alex grins, kneeling down beside the chair as he runs his hand across their daughter's head. “I love you all…now look up.”

Tilting her head, Jo looked up at the ceiling and gasped. The stars trailed up the wall and right above the crib, they clustered together, spelling out their dear daughter's name.

Peyton.

-

Yes. This is a day late. But it's also very on-brand for me so.

This one-shot is part of the What Could've Been universe so if you haven't read them I would thoroughly recommend reading them, you find them all under my master post on Tumblr.

Also, I made all the medical crap up, so don't come for me with corrections...I don't care.

[bellarosethefangirl]

“You Are Here For Me”(Young Almight x Bi Classmate Reader)

Summary: You’re bullied but your good friend Toshinori has your back. 

Author Note: For the story the reader is female. 

Word Count: 3k

UA a school you always dreamed of attending to since you were a little child filled with the dreams of being a hero. Growing up not only are you a fan of heroes on television but you are also determined to follow in their footsteps. You are the selfless type of person to put others safety before your own. You wish to dedicate your life to saving others just as all the heroes you look up to. Your parents weren't surprised you enrolled into the school they always believed you would make it big as a hero with your strong feelings of justice. Your ambitions were always so strong it was something your family always loved about you. You gained many childhood friends because of these ideals. None stuck with you more than your close friend Kaori. At the time you enrolled into the school none of your friends are with you attending the school, for your friends each have different paths from your own. Kaori is someone you hadn't the chance to see during middle school but the two of you are still close regardless of this happening. You two have known each other since the fourth grade it was a strong friendship you believed would last a lifetime. You two did almost everything together make-up, homework, training, and even heart to heart talks. It was only a matter of time until you developed a crush on her.

Your crush on your best friend would last your entire first year it wasn't until your second year you finally decide confessing to her. It took you about three weeks to make the final decision. It isn't always easy confessing but this was truly hard as can be with the addition of being afraid of her reaction. She never gave any signs of being homophobic so what could be the harm? She will always be your friend no matter what would happen. You can't take it anymore having these feelings bottled up inside was breaking you. You found yourself crying at the thought of her being disgusted with you. You are already afraid of coming out as much as it is so confessing is another addition of stress. Today would be the day you finally confess to her. After school you will meet her by the cafeteria where the both of you normally meet up to talk after school. It was something the both of you always did since the first day of school as freshmen.

"Hey Y/n. How's it going?" She greets with her kind smile.

Kaori is a red head with bright brown eyes she has pale skin and on her face she is adorned with makeup. You always found her beautiful her long lashes really brought out her eyes. You knew you could tell the truth it must come out. You must confess immediately or else you'll never be able to. Taking in a deep breath you clutch the straps to your bright colored backpack. She took notice of the determined look on your face she became curious asking you about it.

"You're quiet. What's wrong?"

"I have a confession to make. It's really important Kaori. I-I I'm in love. I have a huge crush and if I don't announce it how will I ever seek the happiness I dream for?"

"A crush!? Oh Y/n who is he??" She asks with hopeful stars in her eyes.

"You Kaori. You're my crush! I've loved you for so long that I can't keep it to myself any longer! I've loved you since freshmen year you're what I seek in a partner, a significant other, and most importantly a girlfriend. I wish I told you sooner but I couldn't bring myself to do it! I was so afraid to tell you but now I see it was silly. You'll always be my best friend and you'll accept me no matter what. I know it's a lot to take in but it's the honest truth. I'm in love with you."

So she froze becoming so shocked by such a confession. She took a while taking in every single word she was truly mortified deep down but she wasn't showing it yet. Her poker face is making it impossible to tell what she is thinking. Becoming extremely anxious you gulp before speaking to her.

"Kaori..? You doing okay?"

"Don't talk to me." Is all she said before walking away.

Her voice was so firm but you couldn't help noticing how disgusted she was from the tone she used when talking to you. You felt your lip quiver as you tried your best to suppress your tears but it did nothing. You began crying knowing full well she now hates you. This was exactly what you were afraid of and now that nightmare is becoming a reality. You wipe your tears with your hand contemplating everything that transpired just now. How could someone you considered your best friend be so appalled by you for confessing your love to them? You walk to your dorm with your heart broken deciding not eat dinner tonight. Tears soak your pillow as you cry yourself to sleep. The next day would be the beginnings to a long day with out you knowing it.

School never felt so long as you did your best to focus on your studies unfortunately you would realize it became increasingly difficult once you shared a class with your ex best friend. It all made your heart ache she didn't care how it made you feel. You never felt so ignored before this is torture. Becoming a hero is great but when your emotions of heart break take over you feel so far from being confident. You feel so drained of everything and its only been one day. During p.e. its admittedly better despite sharing the same class with Kaori. Your friend Toshinori Yagi always cheered you up when ever you are around him. Him and a couple classmates were telling you about a prank that occurred to one of the teachers apparently someone super glued their chair. Imagining such a prank was too humorous it was the first smile you made the entire day. You didn't know it but Kaori's angry eyes didn't enjoy your happiness she scowled. She didn't think you deserve to be happy she is still disgusted by you. She turned away to cool her head off since her annoyance with you wasn't something small to her.

On your way to the cafeteria you find yourself in a slightly better mood if it wasn't for your friends you're not sure how much heartbreak you could take. You sigh then take in a deep breath to calm down so you can eat in peace. You hear someone mention your name and look up to see Kaori talking to three other students whom you recognize from p.e. they don't notice you yet. You listen in on their conversation since they're speaking quite loudly.

"No way she confessed to you?"

"How weird..!"

"I feel sorry for you. To think she ruined your friendship."

"Exactly. To make it worse I have a few classes with her."

Your eyes widen at such comments directed toward you. You race into the cafeteria not wanting to speak to a group of awful people such as them. Kaori is the only one who seems to notice you her eyes glare while she grinned. You huff in annoyance then retrieve your lunch tray. You have no one to sit with so you find an empty table to eat at. Shortly someone sat in front of you. You look up in relief seeing as its your friend Toshinori. His grin is big as always to him you look happy to see him.

"I notice your sitting alone. Looks like I am here to save you."

You giggle then eat a scoop from your pudding cup.

"Right you are, Toshinori."

You two chat away the entire lunch period discussing the latest assignments you two must do as heroes. He was always so interested in hearing about your role as a student. You two didn't share the same home room but there was still plenty of other classes you two shared. Both your teachers are so different in their teaching methods so its nice hearing about the assignments you two must do. After lunch time your next few classes weren't so bad you thank Toshinori in the back of your mind. If it wasn't for him you aren't sure how you would've gotten through the day. After school is done and over with you had a slightly better day and decide you will exercise to clear your head to relax. During bed time you found yourself sleeping soundly. Your dream wasn't as nice you stand in a nightmare faced with Kaori talking to her friends from lunch time. It was as if you were nonexistent as they pass word vomit about your love for her.

The next morning you sighed shedding a couple tears. Sure your day was slightly better but Kaori and her friends really hurt you. You did absolutely nothing to them yet there they were speaking of you so badly. Your friendship you had with Kaori in the past didn't matter to her its what hurt you the most. Knowing your friendship could've turned into an unbreakable bond yet something you poured your entire heart into made her look the other way as if you slapped her in the face or insulted her. It all felt so damaging you knew you shouldn't care for her anymore but you couldn't help still being in love with her. Letting go is the hardest part not only for your love of her but for her friendship she gave you in the past. You'll miss the sleep overs, study sessions, hang outs, going to the movies together and so much more. It all really pained you right where it hearts the most in your heart she slowly opened up with the kindness she once gave you. Now with it all gone you feel some what empty inside. You decide to hurry onto school knowing you've thought about this enough. On the way to school you see Kaori and her friends chatting together she is first to notice you. Her eyes give you the same disgusted look as yesterday before she whispers to the others. They each look over you before sharing their nasty comments.

"Sure is a shame you'll become a hero."

"Who knows what you'd do to a female villain."

"Yeah right she'll want to be facing a female villain. Haha!"

"Don't be foolish its a miracle she made it into this school in the first place!"

You run past them with your eyes shut so you don't have to listen to more of their sickening words. Running into the school restrooms you wipe your tears with toilet paper. You quietly cry in the stall before class began..

"I wish they could just go away.. to a different school far, far away.." You thought as you cried to yourself.

Classes didn't matter as much you took your notes did your work and left. Each class became increasingly hard to bare since you shared a few classes with Kaori. You found it very hard entering p.e. because you know the four will be waiting for you. You can't remember what her other friends look like since you were so focused on their awful words it was so shocking at first and this morning wasn't any better. You didn't glance at them so it looks like you will have to learn the hard way. You enter the gym nervously hiding by the corner as you wish no one would see you. Kaori is first to spot you since her eyes were scanning for you since the moment she entered the building. She smiled wickedly tapping the shoulders of her friends. You notice all four going toward you its at this moment you froze in horror. What could you possibly do now?

"Hey Y/n don't tell me a freak like you is all alone."

"Shouldn't be all too surprising she is a loner."

"Maybe she'll fall in love with a trash can next!"

"She might as well since she'll never find someone that loves her."

They each laugh together while you're on the verge of tears. Kaori is about to speak again when someone stops her by placing their hand on her shoulder.

"Enough."

You see Toshinori with an angered expression on his face. His frown is filled with a snarl. Something almost no one saw she gasped. She looks around to see the entire classroom give her looks of anger and disapproval. She realized everyone heard her cruel words toward you.

"A true hero doesn't go around bullying others. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

"What's it to you?"

"Yeah it isn't like you'll become a pro hero."

Her friends are truly annoyed by him. They see it as none of his business.

"Stop already. Just stop. Not only are you breaking your code of honor as a hero but you bully her for the wrong reasons. Why is it that her feelings of love cause you to make such awful comments?"

"Because she is in love with a girl."

"It should make no difference to you."

"It does! its wrong!! You wouldn't know how it feels since she didn't confess to you! I have to look at her everyday!"

Toshinori wasn't expecting such a comment. He was shocked by such hateful words from someone at such an Academy. To fight for the right thing and serve justice. This can't be right. You felt tears run down your face and you began running out the gym.

"Y/n wait!!" Toshinori called as he ran after you.

Once you two left the building everyone began shouting insults at the group for performing such acts that a hero shouldn't do. Kaori rolled her eyes walking back with her group of friends. You hide behind a building to wipe your tears while you sob. Toshinori arrived catching your attention.

"Y/n! I heard everything. Please don't mind them it doesn't matter."

"Of course it shouldn't.. but no matter what I do it does. To think the girl I fell in love with hates me.. to make it worse she was my best friend.."

"Y/n.. I had no idea.."

"Yeah.. no one did. Why would I want anyone knowing I fell in love with such a monster. It isn't my fault I fell in love. What's so wrong about it?"

"Nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong. She is the one at fault for hurting you. Look you’re a great hero and you'll find someone better."

It was weird hearing him talk with an air of nervousness. Its as if he never talked about this type of stuff before. Normally he is confident but while you look at him he isn't. Still, he cares a lot about your well being.

"Thanks.. but who am I kidding? I may be a hero but I know nothing about love.."

"Well.. that makes two of us."

"You..? You've never..?"

"Nope. Not once. It doesn't mean I'm not happy if it doesn't happen then I'll be okay but for right now this is about you. You’ll meet someone better. You deserve someone who will return your love. You're a wonderful person and you shouldn't be treated with such cruelty."

"R-really..?"

"Yes, I mean it."

You give him a big hug with a smile as your tears clear up. He stood awkwardly before hugging you back. Something about his words made you feel entirely better. Your feelings of love is normal but its a shame Kaori didn't return it. Toshinori really did make you feel better if only he knew what his words did for you. You two return to the gym with your friends ready to have your back. After school you meet up with Toshinori who smiled as big as ever. You smiled back since he now has the power to make you do so. He accepts you for who you are this isn't abnormal. He saw your love as something beautiful and in his own way he found the pieces to mend your broken heart back together. You don't know what it was but some how he took a piece of your heart with him. You blush staring at his youthful face when did he become handsome..?

"Y/n! How are you?"

You think for a moment before smiling at him.

"I'm better thanks to you. I'm glad you were there for me."

"Of course its what friends are-"

You give a peck to his cheek causing him to stutter. He held his cheek staring at you.

"You may be okay with being single but I'm not."

"What...? But.. I thought."

"You were right..” Was all you say.

Your eyes spoke the rest for you as they showed him the love you felt for him. It may be new but he could tell he took a piece of your heart something he has never done before. His cheeks fill with a blush unable to speak.

"Would you like to see a movie?" You ask hopefully.

He looks down at you twice as surprised. He can see you're ready for rejection. He rubbed the back of his head looking the other the direction before smiling. He knew this would be a date. He didn't say yes out of pity but he knew for sure his feelings are mutual.

"I think it would be fun.. should we go now? It is after school.." He said quietly.

You gave a joyous gasp.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

You giggle giving him a great big hug again. He froze again wondering how some one so cute could notice him. You give him another kiss on the cheek before taking his hand and flying up with him in the sky at speeds compared to a rocket. Yes your quirk allows you to make objects fly in the sky as long as you touch them. You can fly in speeds up to eighty miles per hour. Holding his hand you excitedly shout in the sky letting out your voice.

"I'm going on a date!!"

"I almost forgot about your quirk!! Aaaaaaahhhhh!"

[fenristheorem]

Lance finding out that Gardienne killed herself? After a while of her being in the HQ again, he has fallen in love with her. She just couldn't bear those seven years, having lost that many people and being here just to save this world by suffering.

He wanted to tell her he loved her, he knocked her door, he worried bc no one answered, and he finds her hanged up.

I know this is really specific, it's just kind of my OC ending😅😅 anyway, I'd understand if you weren't comfortable with this.

So I’m going to talk about the boundaries of what I write for a moment, starting by saying that I will write this BUT I won’t write detailed suicide scenes due to the sensitive nature of it.

This ask isn’t asking for a detailed scene, it’s asking for the effects the decision has on Lance, and because it’s asking for the long-term effects and not a scenario I’m just fine with writing this. 

Thank you for asking this, Anon, genuinely. Being this specific was probably what gave me the push to write this in the end because I know you were looking for the reaction and not the actual scene. This is a good example of a post that walks along the lines of what I will and won’t write so anyone requesting future asks with a similar subject gets a better idea of what to ask.

Also, I apologize for how long this took to write. This ask was, unfortunately, the one that spent the most time eaten in my drafts folder so I couldn’t work on it until about a week ago. Fortunately that gave me a lot of time to think over how to best write this, so I think this’ll be appropriately written considering the subject.

*Warning / Note: This post contains heavy depressive themes and suicidal mentions, as evident by the ask and what I wrote above. I’m aware that this is a very sensitive subject and I intend to treat it with appropriate seriousness. This is not a happy post, please only read this if you know this won’t lead you down a dark path. To me, writing is another form of art, meant to express and draw out emotions from the audience, so I won’t subside the intensity of my writing even with this being a sensitive subject. I don’t intend to drive anyone to harm themselves, but I do intend to write with the intensity that I always do because this is my artform; so please prepare for heavy themes or don’t read if you’re not comfortable with this. On a side note: I care about everyone, I really do, so please take care of yourselves. If you’re feeling depressive or suicidal, talk to someone, please. There is always someone who cares about you.

Technically Guardienne's death may have a major adverse effect on Eldarya due to her link with the crystal, but for the sake of this ask I'll ignore any possible effects like that.

~Under the cut~

Lance’s reaction to Guardienne’s suicide:

Lance had seen a lot of terrible things in life and had done many terrible things in his life, but this reached a new type of fucked up for him. Not because it's truly disturbing - although it is deeply disturbing - but because it fucked him up even more in a way that he neither thought could be possible nor that he could bear.

He’s convinced that he’s cursed; everything that’s happened to him has been his fault. He started the war within Eldarya, destroyed so many faeries’ lives, killed his own brother, and now the woman he loved is dead because of him as well. Sure, he wasn’t the one to tie the rope around her neck, but there are signs for these sorts of things. Was he truly that blind that he couldn’t see that she was in pain? Did he ever truly love her if he couldn’t see the pain? Would she have done anything differently if he wasn’t there to constantly remind her of everything that was lost?

Lance believes he deserves this. He’s caused so much pain and agony for everyone, it only makes sense that he should be the one in pain now. Lance won’t try to fight the agony he’s in, he’ll let himself drown in it for nights on end to wake up - or not even sleep to begin with - feeling exhausted, reckless, irritated and - overall - worthless. He’s sure to emerge from his room in the morning without the slightest hint that he’s been sobbing quietly with the feeling of a dagger twisting itself over and over within his chest all night, and he’ll refuse to answer any questions about if he’s alright after the recent events. He was the one to find her after all; it would make sense that he was hit the hardest...

In the daytime he’ll be rough and withholding, keeping the Obsidian guard in a tight hold to reflect how he needs to hold himself tightly to keep from falling apart. It’s one thing for him feel and express emotions, but this feeling is an entirely different thing; this is something that should not be released into Eldarya. He realizes it and knows that this feeling - something that he recognizes all too well from his past - threatens to destroy everything that he worked so hard to gain in the past seven years.

Mathieu will notice Lance’s change in temperament immediately, and being the kind man he is he’ll want to be there for the dragon, but Lance won’t be looking for comfort; he’ll be looking for something that will change the past and take back everything that happened. But that’s impossible - he knows that - and so he’ll be stuck in a state of limbo, deemed to mourn for his unknown, unrealized love until... something happens to change him.

Ice cold fear will wash over him some days as he recognizes the familiar feeling that haunted him in the past, and while he’ll be aching to reach out to lean on someone for support - afraid of this feeling overwhelming him again - he’ll feel that he can’t lean on anyone. He doesn’t deserve that support at this point after all he’s done, and there’s so many others who are busy grieving; the guard needs him to be strong now. However, on occasion - when he has a clear mind - he’ll grieve gently with someone who’s somewhat close to him, sharing kind memories of Guardienne and gently advising them to spend time around friends if his co-worker feels it’s needed. He’ll never completely break in front of anyone though, he can’t bring himself to. 

However, Lance falls apart immediately when he’s alone, sometimes even lingering in the conference room for a few minutes after a meeting to allow himself the private time alone to recollect himself. Grief will randomly hit him throughout the day, constricting his throat, burning his chest, and glassing over his eyes - and every time he’ll excuse himself from his company to isolate himself until he regains control again. This, of course, is taken into notice by a few others around the guard, and slowly there’ll be people who realize that Lance is not fine.

This becomes a further issue over time as his grief slowly turns into anger and disgust, and this is when that familiar, ominous feeling from his past really rears it’s ugly face. He should have seen something. Was he really that terrible to her that she felt she couldn’t trust him? Was everyone really that blind to not see her hurting?

Lance finds that he begins to choose to isolate himself, mentally and physically. He’ll leave the guards members alone that have stated they need time off, but he won’t be very forgiving with those who have chosen to continue their work but seem to be slacking. His mentality is that if you can’t handle continuing on, then don’t offer your service as it’ll become a hindrance, and this quickly becomes a major issue.

Huang Hua - knowing how important Guardienne was to Eldarya, and the guard especially - has let it be known that if anyone needs a break from their responsibilities, then it’ll be allowed, but she will stress that those who feel they can continue to function please try to do so, and be lenient and take on a few responsibilities that aren’t usually asked of them if they feel they can. She can read other’s auras and sense intentions and emotions of sorts, so she can generally get a good read on how someone is doing, but she can’t consistently do that with everyone, so while she’ll use this ability when necessary to enforce that someone take a break so they don’t fall apart, not every unstable case is known to her. This is the main reason why she slightly overlooks Lance for a while. When he first found Guardienne, he panicked immediately, rushing her to Ewelein and not even truly believing her death until many days after the event. Huang Hua - having sensed his shock and panic blocking out any other emotions - let it go for a few days; everyone goes through their own grieving process, some immediately and some not until many years afterwards. There was nothing that anyone could do for him until Guardienne’s death hit him fully. However, she also knew from her abilities that Lance was in love with her, or at very least had a deep liking for Guardienne, so the instant a few members of the guard come to her expressing serious concerns regarding Lance’s recent aggression and distance, Huang Hua knows immediately that it needs to be dealt with. This grief was an unknown factor in Lance’s new life - but his past with this type of grief shows clearly that this can really fuck him up - so it needed to be discussed, otherwise he risks spiraling back into the same place he was seven years ago.

She’ll approach him when he’s alone, or if they’re in a relatively public space she’ll take him somewhere private, sensing all the while the breathtakingly painful feeling of agony, anger and distress that’s clouding his mentality. It was just the same as when he was Ashkore, how did he not yet break? He’ll refuse to follow her if he knows she wants to talk about his emotions - ironic since he’s always been open to sharing his perspective and thoughts - so she’ll just tell him that she needs to talk to him in private regarding a few anonymous tips from some guards members if he happens to ask why.

Being alone with an unstable, emotionally distraught dragon with a history of violence while under heavy states of grief does unsettle her a bit, but she knows the outcome of this will be much worse if he truly feels isolated. He’s not going to reach out for help by himself - he doesn’t know how to, nor does he probably want to - so she needs to be the one to reach out to him and help him stabilize himself before another situation like Valkyon’s death occurrs.

She’ll consider first talking alone with him in his room - where he’d likely feel most comfortable - but considering he’d likely be defensive, that could then translate into aggression in his own territory, and that may lead her to being forced out of his room for her own safety. Lance has certainly changed in temperament, but heavy grieving emotions can blind someone, so there’s really no promising that nothing... destructive may happen, no matter how much he’s changed in patience.

She then considers talking with him in the conference room, but there isn’t a whole lot of privacy there. The conference room is more for business, rather than personal, private, emotional conversations. The last thing Lance needed in this moment was for his emotions to be treated even slightly like a business confrontation and not as an important part of his being. Frankly, even on a day where he’s feeling just fine he would never accept anyone’s emotions to be treated like a business issue, so the last thing she wanted was to imply that by bringing him into a room that could do just that.

Huang Hua then thinks over the idea of talking to him in her room; it would likely be safer, after all. He probably won’t become territorial or aggressive as it’s not his territory, and it’ll be a gentle reminder that she’s happy to welcome him into her personal life to help comfort him (therefore defeating the concern that it could seem like a business confrontation), but since it’s her territory he might emotionally shut himself down. It can be uncomfortable to fall apart in someone else’s room, especially knowing they’re higher ranking and could be interrupted at any moment to deal with something else...

Then she wonders if she should bring him outside of the guard to speak with him - somewhere that’s private and on neutral ground. That way they’d both be in strange territory and may not be interrupted, and if they are they’d receive prior warning by noticing that someone was walking their way.

Of course, Huang Hua then realizes that - no matter how much she’d like to think that she understands what would make Lance most comfortable - she truly doesn’t know what would help him best, but she can be there to provide support at very least, regardless of where they are. At the end of the day, Lance would probably know where he’d feel most comfortable, so when she approaches him to talk, saying that it’s an important but private conversation, she’ll ask him where he would rather talk. He’ll be slightly hostile, especially when he picks up on the fact that she’s going out of her way to word things carefully and prioritize his comfort, but he’ll decide to talk somewhere private outside the guard, where no one is around.

And that’s how Huang Hua finds herself in the middle of the open plains, far away from the guard to talk to a dragon who might as well be stabbing himself with his own dagger with how he’s been allowing himself to feel as of late. She’ll start off gently, telling him the recent concerns of a few anonymous guard’s members and Lance will stand a few feet away and listen coldly with a blank expression until she suggests that he take a few days off. He’ll debate things with her then, and it’ll escalate slowly until Lance is clearly distressed but still unmoving in his decision to remain active, and Huang Hua will know then that she can’t be gentle anymore...

“Lance, take a few days off, for your sake.”

“No.” His tone is harsh and cold as he snaps at her. “The guard needs me, there’s so much I need to do - so much I need to repay-” He didn’t mean to let that last statement slip - after all, his actions certainly couldn’t be made up for, right? - but emotions can be a powerful thing, can’t they?

“You won’t be able to do any of that if you’re destroying everything you’ve helped rebuild in the process.” Lance is pacing, keeping his eyes trained to the ground. Huang Hua - despite her anxiousness at the dragon being so stubborn on decisions made under heavy negative emotions - tries to keep a comforting, open atmosphere to avoid furthering any issues. “You know the pain you’ve cast upon on others, you’ve felt that same sort of pain now and you need to take time to be able to recover from that.”

“I can’t take time, it’s not something I can just accept! Everyone I’ve hurt before never had time to accept the situation before I made it worse, but they still pushed forward! There’s no reason for me to have it any easier!”

“And where would we be if we treated you the same way you used to treat the world? Would we be any better than how you used to be?”

Lance stops pacing but his eyes remain on the ground, his throat constricting as his thoughts run rampant. Would they be the same as how he used to be if they allowed him to keep running himself this way? He’s done terrible things, but he’s spent many years trying to keep that from happening again. Certainly he’s an asset to the guard now, so would it be cruel of them to ignore his distress? Or would it be justified payback for everything he’s done?

“Lance, you’ve done wonderful things the past seven years, and we want you to continue that and I know you want to continue that as well. Take some time off so you can do that without destroying yourself or your environment. Don’t ignore your pain like it’s nothing - it’s not nothing, and you have the resources to deal with it in a better way now. Use those resources, Lance, it’ll help you work your way through this.” Huang Hua’s tone is gentle and soft as she pleads with him, hoping that her blunt words will reach his common sense.

He tries to argue this, stuttering the beginning of sentences to try and disprove her point, grasping for any reason as to why his pain is invalid. However, Lance finds that there’s no sound argument against Huang Hua’s words, and constricting panic, horror, and then heavy tides of grief will hit him as he realizes that he is, in fact, dragging himself into his own downfall. He is his own worst enemy, once again.

In any manner, this is all his fault - his past actions, Guardienne’s distress of what’s changed that lead to her death, his emotional isolation, and disruption of the guard is all because he doesn’t know how to deal with himself and his abyss of emotions. How did this happen to him? He was never the type of person to deny and hide away his emotions, so how is it he ended up caging himself like this when under personal grief? Is it because the situation is so personal to him that he has a hard time allowing himself to seek comfort in others who likely couldn’t understand?

Lance will fall apart at this, closing his eyes and turning towards the ground to keep himself together, but falling apart all the same as grief overwhelms him one final time in a push that throws him over the edge. He’ll clench his fist and bow his head, bringing it over his mouth as he desperately tries to steady his breathing, to no avail as tears find their way from his eyes and his chest heaves in quieted sobs. 

Huang Hua will lurch forward to comfort him, but stops as Lance whirls around to step back and snap at her - he didn’t want comfort, he wanted her back!

“Where were you for her!? Why didn’t anyone else see her pain!?” His eyes are tragedy and desperation underneath the weakened cold anger of ice blue, a faint few tears streaking down his face as his voice - thunderous and howling - cracks and breaks alongside his crumbling rage. If he couldn’t have fixed this, then someone else could have - why didn’t anyone fix this!?

“You know it’s not morally correct to monitor everyone’s private emotions all the time. What kind of leader would I be if I didn’t allow my people their privacy?” Huang Hua stills and clasps her hands together at her waist, understanding Lance’s outward anger. However, she realized his statement signaled something else as well; Lance could no longer fight why he should allow himself to grieve, so he was desperately clinging onto some semblance of needing to be distant by turning it to be someone’s fault - someone that he could hate.  “You are right in a way; of the many people who knew her, someone might have been able to catch how torn up she felt, but people who wish to hide their pain, or spend so long hiding their pain that it becomes a part of who they are, learn how to hide their pain in ways too complex for others to realize. And, Lance, if she didn’t want anyone to know about her grief, there wouldn’t have been much that I could have done anyways.”

“You could have helped her!” The dragon’s voice was weakening as he spoke, distant anger being replaced by a cold, hollow emptiness as he realized the truth in Huang Hua’s words.

“Only if she was ready for that help. You can’t force someone to accept help, you can only wait for them to allow themselves to be helped.”

“She wouldn’t want me to find relief during this time...” He looked away toward the ground and hung his head, blinking rapidly as he began to heave for breath. There must be a reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to feel this way .

“Do you think she would have wanted everything good you did - whether she knows what you did or not - to be destroyed because of your grief for her?” Lance’s eyes squinted closed and he tilted his head a bit further away from the phoenix. It seemed as though every reminder of everything good he’s done continues to leave him with a hollow chest. “I think if she witnessed firsthand everything you’ve done the past seven years she would have thought very differently about you now than what she did when first having woken up from the crystal.”

Lance turns to face his back towards her, resting a palm on his forehead before brushing his fingers back through his hair as a tremble rolls through him. He could feel pressure rising from his throat as he bared his teeth in an agonized snarl before parting his mouth to silently gasp for air. His head tilted back to look at the sky, only for a few tears to fall from his eyes when he releases a shaky breath.

“Lance, your situation with her was very unique - no one else could begin to understand exactly what you’re feeling from your history with her. Take some time so you can understand it - and fix, or do, or feel whatever you need to - so you can carry forward knowing yourself better.”

He wanted to fight her statement, but his moral compass argued with his resistance on this as well. If anything, of whatever terrible things came as a result of her death, there should be some good sought from it as well. What’s the point of accepting a tragedy if not to learn something from it as well, even if it’s something quiet that no one else knows you learned?

For the first time in a long while - if not ever - Lance allows himself to break and be comforted. He lets himself embrace the burning, stinging pain that rises in his chest as he turns his head back to the ground and collapses on his knees. Huang Hua immediately reacts and is by his side in moments, on her knees and laying a gentle hand on his shoulder as she leans against him slightly. Sobs escape his throat as his body tenses and curls forward slightly, bracing a hand on the ground to steady himself as tremulous waves of emotions - any and all emotions that could possibly be named - wash over him and leave him gasping for air.

“I miss her, too.” Huang Hua’s voice shakes now as she leans further against the dragon, bringing her arms as far around him as she can while her head rests against his shoulder, away from the spines on his pauldrons. Lance brings his other hand up and tightly grasps the forearm reaching across his chest.

Huang Hua had spent so much time trying to help others through this that she had completely forgotten to make sure she was alright as well, and seeing Lance - the man she least expected to be torn apart by this situation - completely break and fall apart before her eyes reminded her of the true depth of their loss. They didn’t just lose Eldarya’s savior, they had lost a friend, a great warrior, one of the last angels, someone who was pure at heart and wasn’t afraid to face the darkness of life without so much as a blink of hesitation. They had lost someone who gave everything for the world, and suffered because of it.

Minutes merged until they were unsure of how long they spent in the fields, but in time both of them calmed down. Lance - now able to think clearer on the subject - began to reflect on the situation.

“This wasn’t her fault... the blame is on all of us, for not having seen anything... but she must have known that someone would have been there for her if they knew how much she was hurting...” He murmured this quietly, waves of shame washing over him again as he realized he was perhaps pinning some of the blame on Guardienne. Was there really anyone to blame here? She must have known that someone would have been there for her if she sought help, but it’s not right for others to pry into the personal life of another if the intrusion is unwelcomed, and who was to say she wanted help in the first place? Had she given up? Would anyone have been able to stop her to begin with? Who was to blame, if there was anyone?

“There’s nothing we can do now except honor her and move forward.” Huang Hua whispered back with a shaky voice and Lance faintly nodded his head. There were many things that worked together to lead to this happening, and in between there also were moments where something could have helped deter it, both by her doing and by others. At the root core, everyone and anyone could have helped stop this in some way, even if it was by giving her a small passing smile that could have helped remind her that there is good and hope in the world, but there’s also no guarantee that anyone could have stopped it. Regardless, this is how things happened. They can’t change the past, but they can move forward with her in mind and learn from this.

Lance - despite his heavy grief and complex emotions on everything - begins to soften himself to the situation. He’s not the only one grieving. His situation may have been the most complicated, but he’s still in the same boat as everyone else. He doesn’t feel the need to sob alongside the others anymore, but he does find that whenever the group he’s in begins to fall apart into wailing, he’ll bow his head and won’t hide the obvious pain that he’s in at the reminder of his lost love. His feelings for Guardienne will be kept quiet, and he won’t openly say how he felt about her - it could still be seen as wrong in the opinion of some people for him to have fallen in love with the same woman he hurt so much, especially knowing her pain is what led to her death - but he won’t deny the truth of his feelings to those who caught on somehow. Lance will find that he’ll slowly begin to mend after this death, many months after of course, but it’ll happen, and in some ways this will help him move past his brother’s death as well. After all, in the end both Guardienne and Valkyon came to accept their final moments in life before allowing Lance’s past actions to bring about their end, and although one chose to die to help mend him and the other chose to die to help relieve herself, the root issue of the situation that led to their death was still very similar. He’ll have a hard time allowing himself to move past the fact that his actions played a major part in both deaths, but he realizes in time that that’s what happens when someone has a violent past. It’ll haunt for many years, and the effects of it can never be reversed, but in the end this only inspires him to work harder to provide a better world. Maybe he can’t erase what he did, but he can make sure it doesn’t happen again and work to provide Eldarya with as much good as he can provide now.

Without a doubt Guardienne’s death hits him hard, but he’ll be sure to come back twice as strong from this.

I hope you like this, Anon! I feel Guardienne’s suicide would definitely hit Lance hard and remind him subtly of Valkyon’s death, but I don’t see Lance being held down by this for too long. He’d heavily grieve for her for a good while before he eventually finds himself standing on two feet again and powering his way through life, if not for his own sake then for the sake of others, both alive and dead. 

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[megsironthrone]

Meg's Game of Tales: Tale 1

*familiar characters are, of course, not mine! And the original fairytale is the work of the Brothers Grimm!*

Warnings: Slightly dark, especially toward the end. Some steam?? Angst. Probably an overuse of variants of the word "wolf", and Oberyn is a warning all his own.

Pairings: Oberyn x fem!reader

As you walked through the village, you could almost drown in the fear and anxiousness. That meant only one thing. The wolf had come out again and the people were scared. But not you. You'd never been afraid of the wolf not even when you had grown up to the age of the girls that disappeared. The bodies of the wolf's victims were always found. Except for the young women, usually between 17 and 25. Their bodies were never found.

"Come along. We need to get to your grandmother's," your mother said, pulling your arm gently. You followed after her and used your free hand to wrap your red cloak tighter around you. Winter was coming as was evident by the light coating of snow on the ground and trees.

"Coming, Mother." Your mother smiled at you before you heard a call of her name. You realized that another villager needed your mother's help. You weren't surprised. She was a midwife. She was needed all the time. "Go on. I can get this basket to Grandmother's. I'm not a child any longer and I know the way." Your mother bit her lip, thinking if it was a good idea. When her name was called again, she sighed.

"Very well. Go as quickly as you can, stay on the path, and whatever you do, never-"

"Take off the hood," you finished at the same time. You heard the speech every single full moon. The cloak had been a hand-stitched gift from your grandmother. According to legend, wearing a red clock could keep the wolf at bay and you would be safe. You weren't sure you believed that, but you humored your grandmother by wearing it every time you went out and especially during the full moon.

Leaving your mother with a kiss, you headed out of the village and into the dank, dark woods. To many, the woods seemed haunted. A place no one should ever dare to enter. However, your grandmother lived just on the other side of the wood and you knew your path. You'd been walking it at least once a week for your entire life. The woods held no fear for you. At least, usually.

You took your first step into the trees just as the sun beginning to set. If you hurried, you could be at your grandmother's house just after dark. The basket you carried with your grandmother's food for the week was clutched firmly in your hand as you walked deeper into the woods. A little hum of a song escaped your throat while you walked. For some reason, you felt at home here and it made your steps lighter. You almost felt like skipping until you heard a noise, causing you to freeze on the spot.

"Hello?" you called but received no reply. After a moment of silence you shrugged your shoulders and kept walked. This time, however, you felt like you were being watched. If you hadn't known better, you'd swear you heard a growl. You were so focused on the strange sounds that you never heard him coming.

A scream tore from you when you felt two arms around your middle. You nearly began crying until you heard a familiar voice in your ear. "It is not safe for you to be outside, Flower." You relaxed instantly, spinning in the arms of your lover. "You scared me," you admitted. That earned a cheeky grin. "It's not funny, Oberyn!" He laughed out loud that time before capturing your lips in a searing kiss.

"However shall I make it up to you, my flower?" You rolled your eyes and bit your lip. "Meet me tonight? You know I'll have to stay at Granny's tonight. I could use the company." Oberyn gave you that dazzling smile you loved. "Only if I can sneak in your window. The cold doesn't agree with me, as you know." You giggled. Of course you knew. If you were being honest, it was the cold of the last winter that ended up being the reason you found your way into Oberyn's bed.

"I have to go. I'll see you tonight?" He nodded and kissed you again before leaving you for the time being. With your rendezvous with Oberyn planned, you turned back toward your grandmother's house with newfound energy and determination.

Your grandmother greeted you with a hug and a smile before letting you in. You went to remove your cloak, but a sharp noise from her stopped you. "Y/N, we've told you never take off the hood. Not even inside. Not when the wolf is about." You bit back a sigh. You couldn't understand why she and your mother were like this. It was just a cloak. Surely they didn't really believe it had some kind of magical power attached to it to keep the wolf at bay. Nevertheless, you kept it on until you could retire to the room your grandmother kept for you.

After a sweet, "goodnight, Granny," you closed and bolted the door behind you. As soon as you were safely tucked away, you removed the heavy cloak. "Finally," you breathed out. You began bouncing in anticipation of Oberyn coming to see you. And it didn't take him long. "Little Red, let me in or I'll huff and puff and-" you threw open the window and shushed him. "Granny will hear you. Get in here."

Oberyn hopped in the window, gracefully landing on your bed. You let out a soft giggle. "You are ridiculous." He shrugged before pulling you down with him. He laced his fingers with yours and you hummed in content. You glanced at your joined hands. "You have such big hands." He chuckled while using his free hand to grip your waist. "All the better to hold you with." You rolled your eyes. "My what a wicked tongue you have." Oberyn shifted so your back was on the bed and he hovered over you. "All the better to taste you with," he whispered as his lips pressed against yours fervently.

*time skip*

You awoke the next morning to a pounding at your door. You bolted upright and glanced around in confusion. Oberyn was gone and you were alone once more. "Y/N! Open the door!" you heard your mother call out. You shot out of bed and unbolted the door. "Oh thank the g- Why didn't you answer? And where is your cloak?!" your mother cried, wrapping you in a hug.

"I was asleep, Mother. What is going on?" Your mother exchanged a glance with your grandmother. "The wolf was here. Took out a few of Granny's chickens and sheep. We found tracks outside your window. Both human and wolf." You instantly froze. Had the wolf gotten to Oberyn when he left you? You ran to the window and glanced down. Sure enough there were human and wolf tracks. You grabbed your cloak, pushed passed your family, and went outside to investigate.

Upon closer inspection, you realized that the footprints were both coming and going from your window. But worse than that, they seemed to disappear when the wolf tracks started. Your eyes widened. You'd read stories of wolves that could be human all the time except at the full moon. Then they turned into ruthless monsters. Wolves. Werewolves.

The next thought that came to you nearly had you sinking to your knees. The only person that had been near your window the night before was Oberyn. Was he the wolf? Could the man you loved be the wolf that terrorized the village? You didn't want to believe it. It was almost better to believe that the wolf had carted him off. But you knew that wasn't true when you saw his form rushing toward you.

"Are you alright?!" he demanded, "I heard the wolf had been here. Y/N? Flower, are you alright?" You nodded, not really seeing him but the monster you thought he might be. "I need to talk to you. Alone," you whispered, "Meet me in an hour at our spot." Oberyn's brow furrowed in confusion, but he agreed and left after pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You had to dodge a hundred questions about where you were going when you headed off to meet Oberyn a little while later. You didn't need your family worrying any more than they already were. So when their backs were turned, you snuck out. As you passed by your window, you did you best to ignore the footprints that were slowly being covered in new fallen snow. If you looked, you'd lose your courage.

Oberyn was already waiting for you when you arrived at your spot. He moved to hug you, but you stepped back. The look of hurt that crossed his face almost had you backing down. It was so out of place. "Flower?"

"Are you the wolf?!" you blurted out, unable to stop yourself. Your eyes met Oberyn's and he laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, Y/N." He grinned at you, but this time, there was something different there. Something sinister. He took a step toward you and you backed away. He put his hands on his hips, shaking his head and chuckling under his breath.

"You truly don't know, do you? Very well. I suppose there's no sense in lying to you anymore. But I am not the only one. There's more than one wolf. There always has been. The problem is, once these girls reached the age of 17 and their wolves started fighting to get out, they had no control. I had to do something. So they had to disappear. Believe me, it hurt me just as much. Losing potential pack members is never easy on me."

"You killed them. You really are the wolf. I was hoping…" you trailed off. Your head was spinning. You really had hoped you were wrong. But there was no denying it now; Oberyn was the wolf. Oberyn shrugged a bit. "I couldn’t have a pack of unruly wolves and I didn't have time to train them all to control it. So yes, I hunted them down and carted them off. I was protecting the villages, as I have always done."

"Protecting them?! You've slaughtered dozens of women!" Oberyn shook his head with a sigh. "Slaughtered is a rather harsh term, Flower. As I said, they would have harmed those that aren't wolves deep down. As the Alpha wolf, it my job to keep them in line." You licked your lips. "And what about me? Where do I fit in all of this? The cloak doesn't really protect me from wolves like you, does it?"

Oberyn blinked in surprise for a moment before throwing back his head in laughter. You crossed your arms over your chest and waited for his fit to be done. You didn't appreciate being laughed at at a time like this. "Oh my dear Flower. The cloak was never meant to protect you from me. Once you came of age, it was meant to protect everyone…from you." It was your turn to laugh.

"Right. So you're saying that I'm-" Oberyn's lips were still turned up in a sly grin as your brain struggled to make the connection. It wasn't possible. Absolutely impossible. Oberyn continued on, his fingers playing the edge of your cloak. "Your grandmother was smart, I'll give her that. But she read the wrong information. The red cloak doesn't protect against the wolf's attack. It prevents the wolf from changing at all. Except you, my naughty Little Red, never seem to remember your grandmother's most important rule. Never," he began, taking a step closer to you, "Take. Off. The. Hood."

Your back was pressed up against a tree now. Your heart raced a mile a minute as did your brain. One look in Oberyn's eyes told you that he was absolutely telling you the truth. You were a wolf too. And it made sense. The insistence of your grandmother to where the cloak. The fact that you weren't afraid of the wolf. The fact that your grandmother always lost a few sheep whenever you stayed overnight with her.

But that meant you were still in danger from him. For the first time, you were actually afraid of what would happen next. "W-What are you going to do?" you asked. Your voice was barely above a whisper. Oberyn chuckled darkly, his mouth hovering just by your ear as one hand supported him against the tree and the other moved your throat. "Oh, Flower, haven't you guessed? I'm going to make you mine. Forever."

The End??

(a/n: I hope you enjoyed our first tale! Come back next week for tale #2! Tag lists for Meg's Game of Tales are open and separate from my normal taglists!)