#until even the viscera bleeds; until even we can close the distance;
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All That I Can Give
summary:Â kiko is a struggling business owner thrown into the chaos of the borderlands. when she makes a mistake that will threaten her life, she learns just how far she will go to keep herself alive.Â
TW: DEATH, MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, MENTAL HEALTH, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, VIOLENCE
chapter 10: little firecracker
previous chapter
Kiko bolted upright. Her hand flew to her chest as she cast a panicked gaze around the room. Tetsu was still asleep on the sofa, a light snore filling the silence around them. The door was still firmly locked as it was last night. From what she could tell everything looked normal.Â
So why did she fly awake so suddenly?Â
She shrugged it off. Maybe something in her dream startled her so much her brain pulled her back into reality. Not that she was sure what it could have been. Her dream had been polluted with a never ending cycle of her hands slamming the paper weight into Ryukâs face. The loop brought a slight frown to her face. If she thought hard enough, she could still feel the ghosts of his blood and viscera on her skin.Â
Lying back down, she tried to turn her thoughts away the dream she was having. She prayed she wouldnât return to the world where she could relive one of the greatest moments, and greatest shames, in her life. Her eyes had started to drift close when she heard it.Â
Voices.Â
Kiko jumped to her feet. Her heart raced with each passing moment. She tried to gently shove Tetsu awake, going as far as lightly slapping his face. All he did was turn around in his slumber. Kiko muttered a strong swear word under her breath.Â
She lunged for a nearby pan, holding it in a vice like grip. Creeping her way to the door, she sneaked a glance at the pharmacy. Inside, there were a group of five people. Men and women poked around their supplies, sweeping their arms along the shelves and stuffing as much as they could into their bags. All of them carried a weapon of some sort.Â
Kiko couldnât contain her gulp when she saw the sniper rifle.Â
These people werenât playing games.Â
She turned back to look at Tetsu. The bruises looked even worse today. Her heart ached as her mind flashed to the game the night before. She wasnât going to let anyone hurt him ever again.Â
It was only going to be a matter of time before they started searching the entire pharmacy. These people take what they need, then steal everything they want. Kiko had a unsettling instinct that that included people too. Maybe she could distract them, or scare them away? Not that the latter was likely, her only weapon being the kitchen utensil gripped tightly in her hands.Â
Kiko placed her hand on the door handle. Sending a silent prayer to whatever higher power was mocking her, she opened the door and slammed it shut behind her.Â
All five intruders spun in her direction. Kiko suppressed the urge to shudder as the sniper rifle sight was trained on her. The man holding it leered at her, his pierced tongue darting out of his mouth.Â
âWhat do we have here?âÂ
In the strongest voice she could muster (which was still riddled with a scratchy rasp), she commanded the room. âTake what you need and leave.âÂ
No one moved.Â
Kiko raised her pan in an offensive position. She couldnât imagine how pathetic she looked - a kitchen appliance against one sniper rifle, a katana and semi automatic weapons. The bruise on her neck and bandages covering her hand and elbow did nothing to support her case. Still, she stood her ground, trying to ignore how her knees shook. âI told you to leave.âÂ
âWeâre not going anywhere.â The man nodded to one of his friends. Immediately they surged forward, stepping closer to Kiko.Â
She spun around to face them. âIâm warning you!âÂ
They ignored her, moving forward and reaching for her. In one smooth move, she slammed the pan into her attackers head. They stumbled backwards, gripping their bleeding forehead with a curse.Â
Simultaneously, Kiko heard the sound of three distinct clicks.Â
âLeave. Now.â She prayed her words were as solid as her resolve.
âYouâre a little fire cracker, arenât you?â The man with the pierced tongue laughed.Â
From the corner of her eye, she could see the man with the katana moving towards her. She subtly took a step back. Her weapon was nothing against his katana. The distance he had meant she would be skewered the moment she tried to attack him.Â
âIâd be careful if I were you.â Kiko tensed her muscles. âGet too close and youâll get burned.âÂ
With those words, she darted forwards. She ducked out of the way of her attackers, flying behind the shelves as a shield. Without a second thought she flung herself out of the shattered window, glass slicing into her legs.Â
A shot rang out.Â
Kiko fell to the floor. She groaned, pulling her head off of the concrete. She tried to pull herself upwards, only for a foot to land on her back. A cry ripped out of her throat.Â
âCareful little firecracker.â The man whispered, metal pushed into her spine. She froze. âYouâre coming with us.âÂ
âHey, Niragi!â A new voice shouted. Kiko tried to crane her neck to see, wincing at the pain igniting in her body. âGuess what we found.âÂ
Kikoâs blood turned cold. It wasnât long before Tetsuâs broken body was thrown besides her. Her eyes scanned him for any new injuries, struggling to differentiate between the old and the new. His chest was rising and falling.Â
Kiko sighed a breath of relief. At least he was still alive.Â
âWhat should we do with them?âÂ
Kiko clenched her jaw.Â
âLetâs take them back. We could always use some fresh meat.â
With those final words, the butt of a gun slammed into the back of her head. The world around her melted away.Â
                               *
Kiko awoke with a start. Her head banged with a blinding pain. Liquid was running down her arm. The bruises on her neck pulsed. She groaned, rolling her head to the side.Â
She caught sight of Tetsu, his body limp in a chair. His hands were tied behind his back and his legs roped against a chair. The events of the last day came rushing back to her.Â
Kiko thrashed against her bonds, groaning as more liquid moved further down her arm. The looters. The gun shot. The darkness.Â
âWhere the fuck are we?â Kiko muttered. She finally looked up to take in the rest of the room. Two of them tugged at a memory of the back of her brain. She swore she could remember encountering someone with those muscles, and that hoodie at her spades game. The more she tried to think, the more intense her headache got, until she was nearly crumbling in her seat.Â
Giving up on those two, she surveyed the remainder of the room. She recognised some faces, sneering at the memory of them looting her temporary home. She couldnât hide the smirk she saw at the cut on one of their foreheads. At least she managed to do a little damage.Â
âYouâre awake!â An eccentric man appeared in her line of vision. She had to control her expression, feeling an urge to raise her eyebrows at his robe and sunglasses adorning his face. âMy name is Hatter, pleasure to meet you. How are you feeling?âÂ
Kiko remained silent.Â
âNiragi here tells me he found you while they were on a supply run. Living in a pharmacy?âÂ
Her lips remained sealed shut. Hatter sighed, a dramatic hand falling to his forehead. He spun away from her, his robe swishing with the action. Already she got the vibe he had too high of an ego. She was itching to put him back in his place.
âHow am I expected to help you, when you donât speak to me?â His gaze turned to somewhere she couldnât see. He gave a small motion of his hands.Â
Kikoâs mind raced with the possibilities. Was that him delivering a silent kill order? Was that code for torture?Â
She quickly found out as a finger pushed into her shoulder blade. Kikoâs body instinctively doubled over, a high pitched shriek forcing itself from her. More liquid rushed down her arm. She saw her own life drip to the floor, marking the carpet an ugly red.Â
The gun shot.Â
It hit her then that she must have been shot. The adrenaline of the attack must have diluted the pain. That, coupled with a constant, low pulsing agony all over her body, must have erased the injury all together. She was definitely feeling it now. Kiko clenched her jaw to stop herself from screaming - in pain or fury, she wasnât sure.Â
The pressure left her wound. Kiko gasped for breath, her body still crumpled. Hatter crouched down so he could meet her eyes. She fixed him with a steely glare. âYou were living at the pharmacy, am I correct?âÂ
The memory of the blinding agony lingered as she reluctantly nodded her head.
âMy men found some playing cards there.â Hatter pulled out an array of cards, including the seven of diamonds and two of clubs. Amongst the pile, she spotted a hearts card. Kikoâs interest piqued - that wasnât one of hers. âAre these all yours?âÂ
âTheyâre ours.â Kiko cleared her throat. She jutted her head to Tetsu. âSome of those cards are his.âÂ
âI have to say, itâs quite an impressive collection.â Hatter flitted through them, assessing each one as if it held the secrets to life itself. âCan I ask you a question?âÂ
âGo ahead.âÂ
âHow are you still alive?â His gaze wandered over the wounds littering her body. Compared to Tetsu, she was perfectly healthy. This didnât go unnoticed by Hatter.
âBecause I have to win. To get back home.âÂ
Hatterâs face lit up in a bright smile. âWe need more people like you. Niragi, you were right to bring them here. I donât necessarily, um, agree with the method.â He looked at Kikoâs bleeding shoulder. âTry not to shoot them next time.âÂ
Kiko resisted the urge to make a smart remark. It wasnât like they were brought here by choice.Â
âI have a proposition for you and your friend. If youâre willing to accept it.â Kiko subtly leaned forward. âI want you to stay here. You play games for us, and in return, we provide you a safe haven where you can do whatever you like.âÂ
âWhatâs the catch?âÂ
âWe have three rules here. To maintain order, we all need to follow them. One - everyone wears beach wear. Itâs harder to hide weapons.â Kikoâs eyes must have involuntarily moved to the muscled manâs gun for him to continue. âOnly the militants can carry weapons.â
Once again she had to bite her tongue. It clearly wasnât the best idea, considering her attackers seemed to have an addiction to spilling blood.
âRule number two - turn in all playing cards you earn. And three... death to all traitors.âÂ
Kiko gulped. She had a feeling if she rejected this offer, she would be deemed a traitor. It was clear by the rules he was clearly unhinged - what other options did she have?Â
âWhat is it you want with the playing cards?âÂ
The man spun around, pulling open a curtain Kiko didnât notice earlier. Along the wall, was a diagram of all the possible playing cards. Some had crosses through them, while others remained unmarked. âOnce we have a full set, one person can go back to the real world.â
Kiko glanced at Tetsu, still unconscious. The only thing reassuring her he was still alive was the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Her mind flashed back to her own brother, the cheeky glint long gone. Now with Ryuk out of the picture, she was determined to get that back. This was a chance to go home. A chance to see Riku again.Â
âWe accept.âÂ
She wasnât sure how Tetsu would feel about her agreeing on his behalf. He was the one to say do anything you can to find your way home. They just had to follow the rules, and everything should be fine. As she told herself this, an uneasy feeling settled at the bottom of her gut.Â
The manâs smile grew tenfold. He clapped his hands together. âWelcome to the Beach!â
#alice in borderland#alice in borderland fanfic#alice in borderland fanfiction#aib#aib fanfic#aib fanfiction
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like a statue, like a wave
Andromaquynh Secret Santa gift for @andy-the-scythianâ!
ft. sad coffin hours and excessive use of parentheses
AO3
Everything is subjective. The noise that rushes past her ears turns white and meshes with the rumble in her mind; hollow thuds like distant echoes in waterlogged ears.
Thereâs no time for thoughts when youâre drowning.
She thinks she screams. She thinks she doesnât. She should be kicking, but maybe she canât.
She heard, onceâin a dream, perhapsâthat the mind needs air to function. Maybe thatâs why she feels like sheâs lost hers.
She sees things, sometimes; blue skies through foggy gazes, black shores painted white with snow, steel that burns and cries and leaves her throbbing when she wakes.
She moves, or the water does, or maybe neither of them do and her rotting mind is just rocking in her skull.
Sheâd forgotten the word free centuries ago.
The water has been red for years. Itâs an excellent spot for sharks.
The air escapes her before she can even manage to savour it and sheâs drowning again.
.
It had not been, by any reasonable metric, the worst battle theyâd ever fought in. Far from it, really. It had hardly even been a battle. She hadnât even died.
Andromache had, though, and that was almost worse.
Sheâd been shot; she remembered that. Remembered tearing the arrow from her thigh with a scream she didnât bother to stifle, and standing with a grimace. Sheâd grimaced as she stood, and bent her knee carefully against the itch of muscles knotting their way across their bones, felt the tingle of new, unmarred skin knitting itself together over fresh pink sinew.
She had, all of a sudden, realized just how very quiet it was.
(Sheâd marvelled at it, afterwards, in a way she hadnât since the first time sheâd pulled a blade from her throat, drawing her fingers again and again over unbroken skin until Andromache had taken her hand and pressed her lips to her palm, drawing her into her warmth.)
Still, too still, and cold to the touch.
Sheâd seen warriors, mortal, human ones, pull steel from their wounds only to collapse in seas of viscera and drown in floods of their own lives.
(Before, when it had been but an afterthought to her. Before, when there had always been the guarantee that they would come back.)
The blood beneath her fingers had been warm, still flowing sluggishly over skin that had felt like stone.
And sheâd been so stillâ
(Sheâd confessed, once, in a whisper lost in the night to the desert winds, that there were times when she almost regretted their gift; times when she wished, somehow, that the healing were not quite so complete. Scars are promisesâshe is untethered.)
Andromache had spasmed beneath her and sheâd jerked back, the arrow coming free in her hand. Andromache had surged up with a ragged gasp that had almost been a scream and she had let out a sob, collapsing into the heat of her embrace. Andromache had caught her, arms firm and strong around her, despite the glaze she had still been blinking from her eyes.
âQuỳnh,â sheâd gasped, breath hot in her ear. âQuỳnh.â
.
Sound, she decides on good authority, doesnât travel well underwater.
She speaks to the silence, screams for her blood, sobs for herself. Whatâs a little more salt in an ocean full of it?
Her words do not weave magic through the air, or deliver hell to damned doorsteps. She and Andromache were always joined in that; honesty over mystery, strength in hand with intensity. Her words are not a final blow; they are needles of rain and wayward winds, and grains of sand pressed into little cuts. They are blunt like rounded edges of broken glass and as smooth as the waves above her.
Poetry was for her to hear, not to weave, as music was for her hands, not her throat. Every strike of her knees against the cursed shell rips through the broken melody around her like a drum in a flood.
Her words donât move anymore.
Her mouth opens, and her wail drags her back down into the darkness.
.
Andromache had been absolutely giddy with amusement. âDonât pout, Kleanthe,â sheâd chided, a grin tugging at the curve of her mouth.
Kleanthe. Sheâd been called Kleanthe, then.
âIâm not pouting,â sheâd said with a scowl. Andromache had smiled blithely, rolling onto her side and propping her head up on her hand. âIâm not.â
âItâs just a model,â Andromache had said, âand the boy needs practice. Itâll be done in no time at all.â
Kleanthe had huffed and shifted her foot. Phidias had cleared his throat and tapped the end of his chin. She had rolled her eyes and craned her neck face turned towards the sun. âI never thought Iâd tire of holding a bow,â she grumbled, âbut it seems that today is the day. Iâm afraid youâll have to settle for throwing rocks from now, Andromache.â
Andromache had hummed. âIâm sure Iâll manage.â
Kleanthe had snorted. âHow you talked me into this, I still canât understand.â
(Andromache had been the face of more goddesses than she could count; she saw a labrys when she closed her eyes, a tablet, a spear, a queen draped in fleece. She moved like a figure carved already of gold, every rise and fall of her chest a surge of fire in a forge. She had never managed to master the same gift of stillness her love had been blessed with.)
âHave you never wondered?â Andromache had asked softly, slipping, perhaps without even noticing, into the private tongue that only they shared; words that flowed like honey down a sweat-slick wrist in the summertime, carried on a voice that bobbed and rippled like a trickle of rain down a stone in drought. âTo be immortalized, some way else?â
Sheâd curled her fingers tighter around the polished grip of her bow. âWe will outlive this statue,â sheâd said. âIt will be dust before we ever grow old.â
âMaybe.â There had been a distance in her voice, the kind that promised bliss and tragedy in the same breath, that offered a smile the way mourners folded themselves onto their knees before shrines.
âWhat is it?â
(She remembered the smile in her heartâs voice, remembered the twitch of a slender lip beneath her palm, remembered swollen lips and lines of red that vanished before her very eyes.)
âYouâre beautiful,â Andromache had said.
.
Yusuf had believed in truth. NicolĂČ had believed in destiny. Andromache had believed in the world, and its endless capacity to disappoint.
She believes the universe simply likes its jokes.
She dreams of her homecoming, sometimes; imagines dragging herself across a shore of sand hot enough to sear her skin, sees herself crumple into her familyâs arms. Andromache would wash the grit and salt from her hair, she knows, and run her fingers through it until it was as soft as silk, softer than when sheâd found her and when sheâd lost her. Sheâd rub her cheeks with the heels of her thumbs and kiss the ragged scabs from her knuckles and her knees.
There are no cuts, no gashes, no ragged fields of skin. Thereâs nothing for her to fix.
Is she healing? She doesnât know.
.
The first time Andromache touched her, her skin had flaked away on her hands.
She doesnât remember what sheâd said, doesnât remember if sheâd said anything at all. It was as if sheâd always been beside her, a silhouette formed by communion through sights and stars and sensations walking alongside her shadow. Sheâd known her name the way Andromache had known it herself, known intimately the lines on her palms and her distrust of shellfish. Sheâd known her annoyance every time her hair was tangled by the wind, and the way she lost knives the way birds shed feathers but would never fail to polish her strange, rounded axe every knight, starting at the handle and working her way up to the blades. Sheâd known everything and nothing, and Andromache had known the same.
She remembered the first beat of her heart when Andromacheâs shadow had passed her, remembered the way sheâd nearly sobbed at the relief from the merciless beating of the sun.
Andromache had crouched, placing her labrys by her head; the blade had flashed in the midday sun, nearly blinding her for the third time that day. She had hesitated, or maybe she hadnâtâshe couldnât recall, or perhaps just hadnât seen.
She remembered the first touch of fingers to her cheek, remembered feeling muscles flexing and twitching beneath new skin as it bloomed from burning red salt. Sheâd spoken like a carrion bird learning to sing, cradling her head in her lap like she was something precious, something wonderful.
âWhat did you say?â sheâd asked almost two hundred years later.
âWhat?â
âThe first time we met,â sheâd said. âWhen you held me. What were you saying?â
Andromache had hummed, nose pressed into the side of Quỳnhâs neck. âI asked you if you could see me,â sheâd said, âthe way I could see you. I thought I was just dreaming; Iâd seen you for so longââ
Quỳnh had taken her hands and brought them to her lips. Sheâd pressed a kiss, feather-light, to the tip of one finger, then the next, and Andromache had flushed. âMe too,â sheâd murmured against her skin. âI thought I was dreaming, too.â
.
She sees Andréa scrubbing blood from torn blue silk on the banks of a silver river, and feels her fist break her nose from a thousand miles away. Andrew tosses a star-striped flag into a flame, and twitches beneath a cloud of poison in a furrow carved through the earth. Andy shoots her in the back of the head, and bleeds on a carpet in front of a wall of triumph.
Victory is a pyrrhic thing.
Everything blurs. She is Quỳnh, and Kleanthe, and Quintina, and Anya. She is Sebastien, and Booker, and Nile, and Quỳnh. She is Andromache, and Yusuf, and NicolĂČ, and she is Quỳnh.
Thereâs so much she doesnât remember.
She wants to remember.
She opens her mouth, and her next breath comes out as a cough.
.
âHave you seen this, love?â
âHm?â Quỳnh cracked one eye open to peer up at the tablet Andy was brandishing at her. âIâm afraid not,â she said, closing her eyes again. âYouâll have to read it to me, my heart; you know how those screens make my head hurt.â
Andy scoffed. âPlease. I know Nile helped you download Candy Crush.â
âI havenât the faintest idea what youâre talking about. Why would I crush candy? And the ads are infuriating.â She nudged Andyâs hip with her cheek and idly stroked her fingers along the other side of her wifeâs stomach. âWhat is it?â
âSomeone broke into the Met,â Andy told her.
âAh,â said Quỳnh, wrapping a hand around Andyâs wrist. âThe Met. Of course. Which one is that?â
âOh, you know,â said Andy, grinning openly as Quỳnh tugged at her to lie down. âBig one. Kind of ugly.â Quỳnh chuckled as she slid a leg over Andyâs and sat up, straddling her hips. âJoe took you last week.â
âDid he?â Quỳnh asked, pressing a kiss to Andyâs clavicle. Andy hummed, arching her neck. âI canât recall. My memory must be going in my old age.â
âHuh.â Quỳnh smiled into Andyâs neck, nipping lightly at the skin over her pulse. âThing is,â she said, voice faltering only slightly when Quỳnhâs lips brushed the sensitive spot beneath her ear, âthe thief only took one thing.â
âSounds sensible,â murmured Quỳnh, dragging her lips down Andyâs shoulder. âIt must be difficult to carry many things through a window.â
Andy made a small, pleased noise in the back of her throat. âYou donât want to know what they took?â
âHm.â Quỳnh leaned back on her heels, putting a finger to her chin. Andy growled, and she grinned. âA vending machine?â
âFunnily enough,â said Andy drily, lip curling as Quỳnh leaned down, hands lightly circling her wrists. âThose were emptied, too.â
âHave you ever had a Cheeto, Andromache?â asked Quỳnh, stroking the insides of Andyâs arms. Andy groaned, wriggling beneath her. âTheyâre remarkable.â
âWe can buy snacks, Quỳnh.â
Quỳnh pouted. âWhereâs the fun in that?â
(She hadnât hidden it in the apartmentâsheâs not an idiot. Sheâd rented a storage unit.)
Andy snickered, then turned her head and bit playfully at Quỳnhâs hand. Quỳnh yelped, drawing it back on instinct, and Andy lunged, sending both of them tumbling across the bed. Quỳnh let her head hit the pillow with a laugh, and Andy collapsed on top of her, snickering uncontrollably.
âI thought you didnât like it,â she said when sheâd finally calmed down. Quỳnh hummed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
(There was a bruise on her shin from where sheâd banged her leg on the door last week, and smaller, private ones littered down her chest. The cut on her cheek was still fresh enough to be tender, though it had already closed, and, beneath her fingers, Quỳnh could feel the raised edge of a scar she knew to be thin and white.)
She shrugged lightly, and Andy moved with her. âYou did,â she said simply, brushing a strand of hair from Andyâs eyes. The black was beginning to recede, and she could see the tips of time-bronzed gold at her roots.
(They hadnât stayed in Athens long enough to see the sculpture finished; itâs still just a model. The tip of the bow had broken off, as had all but the bridge of the nose. More scratches had Quỳnh found in the plaster than she had ever counted in her own skin at once, and there was a crack snaking its way down the spine like a viper through the sand.)
Andy smiled and pressed their lips together.
.
(And carved carefully into a weather-worn heel:
I was here.)
#i don't know how to format and at this point i'm afraid to ask#@ quynh being the villain in 2 old 2 guard i simply pretend i do not see it đ#andromaquynhsecretsanta#the old guard#fanfiction#writing#the old guard fanfiction#andromquynh#andy x quynh#andromache the scythian#andromache of scythia#andromache#andy#quynh#historical#weapons#battle wives#stealing from the met#statues#phidias of athens
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âJack the Stag, and Other Works Penned by the Esteemed Songstress Sombraâ. Itâs an inside joke, probably. Kind of Part 3. Unedited. Personally, Iâm liking this story more and more.
Otherwise: a bad Witcher AU but not because of the TV series (rest is somewhere here either under totally not witcher au or murder-deer tag)..
Warnings: blood, animal death (implied but not really), Jack has a thing against dryads only he does not, discussions of the price. Bad puns. (also, we are nearing towards one of the resolutions \o/)
*
Gabriel broods foregoing any further attempts at having a conversation and this time he's thankful for Jack ignoring him - until the brief vibration of the medallion when they pass through the boundary of the dryad grove brings him out of the dark reverie.
The air Gabriel inhales is rich with the smell of berries and coniferous trees, the light comes from no obvious source, and in front of him Jack suddenly whips back as an arrow flies past him.
"Oi! You stupid bitches," he screams in retaliation, "at least hit or miss proper!"
True to his words, some blood trickles down from the gash on his arm, and Jack almost dives forward to evade the other arrows fired at him while still shouting profanities, at least until a sort of a reverent whisper carries on the breeze as dryads emerge from their hiding spots.
"Wasn't that hard, was it now? I want to speak to your tree-mother." Jack strides forward, ignoring the way the dryads congregate around and try to touch him in passing - which absolutely has nothing to do with the patch of blooming flowers springing up from the bloodied stone.
Only it does have everything to do with it, and Gabriel pauses on the way to pick two of the cornflowers not sure what he intends them for. When he catches up, Jack sits in the grass surrounded by a circle of the adoring dryads responding to his every question.
He finds a spot away from them but close enough to hear the indistinct chatter, some of Jack's words carrying over the murmur of the other voices.
Gabriel turns the flowers in his hand, a gesture to keep himself busy paying only the nominal attention to his surroundings.
The touch sliding over his shoulder and fingers wedging below the hardened leather comes as a surprise. He glances at the dryad tilting her head now at him, her eyes half-lidded and parted lips stretching in a little smile. Gabriel just raises his eyebrows as she moves closer.
Soon, her arms circle his neck and she almost sits on his legs.
"Hands off and where I can see them, you tree harlot," Jack almost snarls from where he stands above her and the dryad shies away with haste, coy and supplicant, stealing glances and them both. "Scram! Now!"
"Fucking tree whores thinking they can touch anything they want only because they want to!"
Gabriel slips the flowers behind the pack as Jack sinks to the ground next to him, still ranting, keeping his eyes steady on the visibly pouting dryad slinking back to her sisters.
"The pond is there, you need to clean yourself so I can dress your back properly."
This grabs Jack's attention and he tries for the same sultry expression the offending dryad wore on her face. It's ridiculous, even without the dried insect viscera in his hair.
"I remember someone offering to wash my back in exchange for his sword?"
"Not like this. I'm serious," Gabriel adds seeing Jack bat his eyes, adding whole layers of absurdity to his attempt to act seductive. "Stop it, you look about as captivating as Sombra put in a gown."
"There's really no making you happy, is there?"
"I'll be happy when your back is taken care of." He nudges Jack's arm with his hand. "C'mon. You can tell me all in the meantime."
"All?" There's a flicker of darkness swiping over the blue and white of his eyes and Jack smiles.
Gabriel doesn't deign to answer and points in the direction of the pond, watching Jack get up with a groan and plod to the bank where he proceeds to make a spectacle out of losing his boots and pants. Several of the dryads hiding in the reeds are certainly appreciative of it.
"Get into the water, no stalling," Gabriel mutters gutting the bag to find everything he needs. Truth be told, he could use a bath too but he's not going to risk it, especially not with the same dryad slowly inching closer. "Vatt'ghern. Infertile," he tells her in low voice.
Any pretense of interest she might have carried is immediately extinguished by an expression bordering on offended. The scoff coming from her is drowned by the sound of water splashing and a scream.
"Melitele's tits, it stings!"
"And if you don't do it, it will get worse!"
"I'd rather sleep in an ant nest!" Jack sputters between dunking himself under surface and vigorously rubbing his hair to get the crusted remnants of the centipede out of it. "Or have my mouth stung by a bee!"
"Do I want to know?"
"No. It was embarrassing, the honey didn't help."
The image of Jack with his lips all swollen and puffy is enough to elicit a snort out of him. When he looks up, Jack's staring back at him from the water with an amused tilt to his head.
"Made you laugh, little cub."
"Are you done?"
"Oh, I don't know about that."
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to look." Gabriel turns his head back down to the preparations, mixing the crushed herbs with the lard.
"Fine, be this way," Jack huffs, splashing some more before he decides it's enough, and he marches out of the pond.
Without any additional prodding he sits in front of Gabriel with his back turned to him. Droplets of water and some duckweed stick to his skin and Gabriel brushes them off with the cloth before he starts applying the ointment.
"So why did they let the bugs run off the leash?"
"Tree-mother's been asleep for generations, and now she's dying, so their control over the grove is slipping."
"They're not true, are they?"
"Mixed. They have a cozy agreement with the men in the village, once a year they get a kid or three out of it, some other in-between."
"You'd think there would be more of them." Gabriel puts finishing touches to the burn and moves to the graze on the arm.
"Do you see any boys here, cub?"
"This much, I've guessed. They're not going to keep this place for much longer."
Jack turns around and shifts to his knees.
"I could give them time. A lot of it, to last for generations more."
"Could, not would," Gabriel notes while slicking back blond hair from Jack's face to inspect the wound on his cheek, reddened and hot but bleeding no more.
"They have nothing to offer in return that I'd want."
"You could ask some to lie with you, they'd probably fight one another for it."
"The key is want. But," Jack looks at him expectantly, and his palm covers Gabriel's fingers resting on his cheek, "I could do it for you, little cub. Do you call upon the Covenant and pay the price?"
"I do," Gabriel answers after a moment of hesitation, remembering the last time Jack had asked him the same. "Wait."
He reaches for the cornflowers and fits them behind Jack's ear - making sure the stems hold in place. The smile he is given in return is full of unspoken words.
"You'll make me think you care, cub," Jack drawls in content tones. He moves closer and splays his fingers on Gabriel's thighs, their noses almost touching.
"Pants."
"Do I have..."
"Yes, you do," Gabriel cuts short the petulant whine by thrusting the bundle of cloth in his face.
"Since when do you always have a spare pair?" Jack grumbles under his breath - backing off and getting his feet into the pant legs.
"Since you insist on promenading buck naked all the time."
Jack freezes with the trousers around his knees and stumbles a bit.
"Was that a pun?"
"Maybe."
"Commit to it, then, so I can hate you proper for it."
"No." Gabriel raises his eyebrows.
"Careful, cub, you're like a spring's fawn on Novemberâs ice." Jack pulls up the pants, ties the strap, and stretches before turning on his heel. "Coming?"
"Wait," Gabriel calls out after him, following closely behind, "you didn't name the price."
"And you had not asked before agreeing," Jack flashes him a wry smile over his shoulder. "I'm trusting you to keep the word given and pay back what is owed, little cub."
"I can't do that if..."
"Hush, little cub."
Jack leans down and picks up a broken stone barely breaking his stride. The dryads flock to the sides but keep their distance as he stops in front of a wilted tree, looking at it attentively with his head tilted back.
The gnarled branches spread in canopy above the clearing, the aged roots pierce the ground around the massive trunk except for the path free of any growth on which Jack stands with his bare feet braced on dirt and stones. His left palm smooths over the cracked bark.
The impression Gabriel has that Jack in his vindictiveness aims to teach him a lesson evaporates when he begins to speak.
"You're so old that you remember the time before them. You've earned your peaceful sleep, many times over. But you left the children alone without guidance."
He grips the stone in his left hand and with a wince cuts the inside of his right palm with it, slow and deep.
"So sleep longer and dream, and from those dreams let the seed come that will grow a sapling to continue in your stead so the children are taken care of."
Fingers smear the blood on the trunk before Jack presses his hand to it. Into it.
Gabriel's medallion jumps violently straining against the cloth of his shirt and the chain - trying to break free before it falls slack as suddenly as it had started to react to the magic.
Gabriel finds himself moving even before the bloodied stone slipping loose from the grip Jack had on it registers fully in his mind. He almost slides, ending in a crouch with his arms outstretched and catching Jack's full weight before he hits the ground in a dead faint.
He's cold, so cold, wracked by shivers, and his breath burns Gabriel's cheek.
"I need something to warm him up," Gabriel barks an order at the surrounding dryads, undoing the buckles of his armor with one hand while he cradles Jack to himself with his other arm.
He throws the chestpiece awkwardly to the side and strips his shirt - hands are holding out furs and worn out blankets. Gabriel grabs as many as he can and wraps them around himself and Jack, pulling him closer, tangling their legs together before he lies back on the ground.
Jack, with his face cradled in the nook of his neck, is still running hot and cold, skin frigid to the touch and each exhale scorching, trembling with no respite in sight.
"Fuck." Gabriel purses his lips unsure if anything he does, and could do, is even helping.
Above them, the dead branches sprout green leaves and flowers bloom filling the air with sweet aroma but he can only think about running his hands over the hair on the neck of a great old stag gasping painfully for its breath, of curling his fingers around the arrow shafts.
He remembers the weight of the knife he had plunged into its flesh, no, not the swiftest of deaths, and the blood pooling beneath them - seeping into the ground to give birth to a miracle - and it is the knife he feels between his fingers twined into blond locks.
Where he sat at the edge of the river, Jack had laid with his head in Gabriel's lap unaware of the attentions of rusalkas and nymphs focused on him as he trembled with the same kind of chill clinging to his skin, lips blue at the edges and warmed on the inside by his breath.
Gabriel had asked then, bound by the curiosity, and the one with the crown of water lilies in her damp hair almost laughed at his question.
"Silly man," she whispered with the shimmer of a stream spilling over the rocks, her dark eyes glinting, "it is no fun when he sleeps."
As enigmatic answer as ever, and no less he came to expect from creatures of her ilk - speaking in riddles unless they want something - but one that explained enough. He had spent the rest of the night with fingers tracing the jagged grey scar under which a steady pulse ran.
And in the same fashion Jack's skin slowly warms as his breath cools and shiver subside. Soon, the hand resting on his chest shifts slowly to touch the leather pouch on the string.
"Never take it off," the voice in which Jack speaks is barely audible. "Never tell anyone."
"I won't. I wouldn't." Gabriel looks at his face where under the lashes only a sliver of blue glimmers. "What did you take for it?"
"I wanted you to catch me," Jack murmurs against his skin.
"You couldn't have..."
"I trusted you to catch me, little cub. And you did."
"That's fucking ridiculous, you twat," Gabriel laughs - it's strained and leaves his throat raw and hurting. "And I was asking about the flower. What was the price for the flower?"
"A kiss."
"A kiss," Gabriel repeats after him because it is even more preposterous than anticipated
"Now," Jack puts a finger against Gabriel's lips, stopping whatever he might say, "a kiss had been asked, and a kiss had been given. It is not for you to decide what makes a kiss."
"A kiss. Was it worth all of that?"
Jack shifts and moves so that his elbows rest on the sides of Gabriel's head, and he looks down at him.
"Why do you want me to tell you it was not?"
"Because when you get what you want..." Gabriel swallows past the dryness in his throat. "You will leave, won't you?"
Jack chuckles with his lashes lowered and his head inclined curiously to the side, lips pushed forward almost in a pout.
"My foolish little Gabriel, why, oh, why would I leave if the only thing I want is you? Have I not made myself known?"
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A Love That Bleeds | read on ao3
Written for @terrifyingtolkien week 2019. Heavily inspired by the incredible way that @imindhowwelayinjune writes these two.
        Celegorm moves with easy, practiced grace.  His steps make no sound in the underbrush, though he is less certain these days that this is by any virtue of his own. These woods are strange and silent and still, and he thinks perhaps there is no sound in them their lord does not allow.  Still, he is not frightened by the stillness, or the eerie sense of being watched.  He is welcome here, has always been welcome here, and he walks on, unafraid.
        Unafraid, yes, but also, though he little cares to admit it, uneasy.
        Things are different since the Oath. Stranger.  Wilder.  Less certain than they had been all his life before.  Paths that once seemed straight and true and yielding twist under his feet, leading him in ways he is not sure he wants to go.  Lesser hearts might have turned away, might have fled for the safety of the fields beyond the wood, away from the silent, judging eyes that surrounded him, unseen and unheard, but not un-felt. Â
        But Celegormâs heart is mighty, bold and unyielding, and he walks on toward the forestâs heart.  He is welcome here.  He has always been welcome here.
        He does not yet know that always can be a thing of the past.  He will know it one day soon.
        He steps out of the trees and into a clearing he knows by heart.  He has seen it countless times before, roamed its impossible boundaries and lain in its soft, green grass.  He knows it in sunlight as well as in shade, and he knows it now in the dark and moonless night.  There is a fire burning in its center.  There is always a fire burning there.  He has fed it himself in days past, with wood gathered and split by his own rough hand.  Its eternal flame has warmed him, dried his clothes, fed his belly with spit-roasted flesh, and taken his offerings and thanks. Â
        It burns low tonight.  He is not sure why.  He passes the low-banked flames and tries not to wonder.
        The tent is where it always is, just past the fireâs dancing light.  It is white like bone and splattered with shifting red.  Celegorm has never noticed how much the flames look like blood on the seamless, faultless cloth.  He tries not to notice it now.  Steeling himself, he reaches for the fold of the entrance and ducks inside. Â
        He has known OromĂ« for more years than he can count, and yet the sight of him still takes Celegormâs breath away.  There is a quality of wonder to all the Valar, for they are something Other, something ancient and strange and fey.  Yet he has always loved OromĂ« best, loved the smooth black of his flesh, the bone-decked braids of his hair, the tattoos that shift and change before his eyes.  He has always loved the warm gold of OromĂ«âs eyes, the blinding white of his smile. Â
        (His mind strays unbidden to the memory of the feel of OromĂ«âs hands, the rasp of his voice in the dark, the searing satisfaction of his own pleading, brutally answered.  He pushes these thoughts away.)
        OromĂ« isnât smiling now.  His face is grave, though not angry, and Celegorm takes heart. âLord OromĂ«,â he says, inclining his head.
        âTyelkormo,â OromĂ« says in return.  His lips do not move.  They do not have to.  Celegorm hears him all the same.
        There is silence between them for a long moment.
        âYou are leaving me,â OromĂ« says.
        âI am leaving Aman,â Celegorm says.  âI am not leaving you.â  OromĂ« tilts his head, a familiar gesture of interest that makes Celegorm ache inside, and he pushes on.  âWhat is distance to a god?â he says, a lightness in his words that he does not feel.
        âThe leagues of the earth are nothing to me,â OromĂ« says, and Celegorm knows that this is true.  âBut there are other kinds of distance, Tyelkormo.â
        Tyelkormo.  Hasty-riser. He has always loved the sound of his name on OromĂ«âs tongue.  What others despise, OromĂ« has always cherishedâboldness, action, impulse without fear.  It is what has always endeared him to the Vala, and Celegorm hopes it will do so now.
        âIf I have offended you,â he says, striding forward to close the distance between them, âthen I beg your forgiveness.  It was not my intent.â  He bows his head, respectful if not contrite.  âI have loved you well these many years.  I have learned your lessons and kept your ways.  I have given you the first blood of my hunts and the glory of my skills.  I have sought your pleasure and your blessing in all things, and if I have lost it through this oath, then I am sorry.â Â
        âIt is not my blessing you should fear to lose,â OromĂ« says.
        âYours is the only blessing that matters,â Celegorm answers, bowing his head low.
        OromĂ« reaches out, rough palm cupping Celegormâs chin, raising his face and looking into his eyes.  âTyelko,â he says, his voice low, reverberating in Celegormâs chest.  His thumb reaches up to stroke Celegormâs lips, and Celegorm turns his head to kiss OromĂ«âs palm.
        âWhat do you want of me?â OromĂ« asks.
        âYour love,â Celegorm says, heart aching in his chest.
        âYou have had it many times before,â OromĂ« says, feeling the warmth of Celegormâs blush beneath his hand.  âYou do not come to seek it now.â
        âYour blessing,â Celegorm says.
        âYou have that too,â OromĂ« says, âthough you grieve me by the swearing of this oath. Tell me what you really seek, son of Feanaro.  My patience is a brittle, and it wears thin.â
        âI have no right to ask,â Celegorm says, eyes downcast, unwilling to meet OromĂ«âs gaze.
        âIt has never stopped you before.â
        Celegorm breathes in, breathes out, steels his courage. âYou have always shown me kindness,â Celegorm says, looking up at him at last.  âThough I have been angry and impetuous and unworthy.  I ask your kindness one time more, though I stray far from where you would have me be.  Grant that I may always find that which I seek, and I will give you the glory of my success.â
        OromĂ« withdraws his hand, and Celegorm mourns the loss of his warmth.  OromĂ«âs eyes are hard, and Celegorm fears he has gone too far. Â
        âI may not have my brothersâ gift for prophesy,â OromĂ« says, âbut even I can see you ask me for a curse.â
        âYou could never do me ill,â Celegorm says.  He wants to believe that this is true.
        âThe things we seek,â OromĂ« says, âare not always the things we wish to find.  I fear youâll learn this, to your sorrow.â
        Celegorm is afraid now.  He has never liked to be afraid.  He reacts the only way heâs ever known.  âAsk of me what you will,â he says, lifting his chin defiantly. âI will do it.â
        OromĂ«âs face is hard; his voice, when he speaks, is cold is ice.  âBring me a white stagâs heart,â he says, âand I will grant this thing you ask.â  There are rules that even he must follow, though he loves them little.  He turns away.
        Celegorm takes his leave, and heads back into the forest.
*****
        It takes him three days.  He eats what little he can forage and drinks the cold water of the streams he comes across.  He sleeps little and wanders long, following tracks and scents and fleeting glimpses through the trees.  The white stag is rare, and it is sacred.  It is not a thing killed lightly, and Celegorm feels the weight of it as he stalks the cunning beast through field and stream and clawing underbrush. He wastes arrows and shatters a spear, curses and despairs and hardens his heart.
        It takes him three days, but he kills the thing at last.  It is not an easy death.  The stag is larger than any deer he has felled, and fights with every ounce of its inhuman strength.  An arrow pierces it, but it does not fall.  A spear makes it stumble, and Celegorm gains.  It is a knife that finally finishes it, stabbed through the shoulder and the chest, slashed viciously across the throat.  It does not give its spirit willingly.  One great, shining antler pierces Celegormâs side, and he grits his teeth against the pain of it, hacking at the shining down of the throat until the knife falls from his hand, greased with hot blood and gleaming viscera. The stag falls not long after, crashing to the bank of a stream and lying still at last, still at last.
        Celegorm falls with it, knees buckling beneath him, hands shaking as he peels up his shirt.  The wound is deep and jagged, his own red blood seeping through the fabric to mix with the golden gleam of the stagâs.  Celegorm peels off his shirt and tears it, shaking hands methodically folding it and pressing it into place.  Two more long strips bind it to him, and he pants, dazed and shaken, the world spinning before his eyes.  He kneels in the dirt and thinks how easy it would be to sleep, how soft the grass beneath him, beckoning.
        He grits his teeth and crawls to the beast, heaving it onto its back.  He hacks the heart from its chest and pulls it free, watching the golden blood spill through his fingers and down his arms.  It beats against his palm, and he thinks it must stop, it cannot go on, the beat of it louder than the stream, the birds, the cry of the cicadas in the trees. Â
        It does not stop.  Celegorm cradles it to his chest, shivering as it touches his chest. He wipes the gore-soaked knife on his breeches and slides it into the sheath.  Then he steels himself and stands, wincing at the searing pain in his side.  The world swims before him, and he closes his eyes, breathing raggedly.  He takes a deep breath, then another, then another. He opens his eyes and begins to walk.
*****
        When he reaches the clearing, Celegorm is exhausted. He is ragged and battered, feet stumbling beneath him.  He has bled too much; his skin is cold, and the trees spin dizzily before his eyes.  The earth calls to him, bids him to fall on the soft grass, to rest his head on the moss.  He does not heed its call.  He staggers past the fire and pushes his shoulder against the entrance of the tent.
        OromĂ« is there, as he is always there.  Celegorm has suspects he is there even when he is not. The thought makes his head spin, and he pushes it away.  He stumbles forward until he reaches OromĂ«, until the sight of him fills his vision and the smell of him makes him weak.  He falls to his knees and holds the heart in his outstretched hands.  It beats against his palms, strong as the moment he plucked it from its cage of bone.  âThe heart of the white stag,â he whispers, almost too weak to speak.
        âEat it,â OromĂ« says, and Celegorm obeys.
        It is a terrible thing that he does.  He will do many more terrible things in days to come, and some will be much worse, but none will fuel his nightmares more than this. The heart is warm, and the flesh beats against his teeth as he chews is.  The blood is bitter and hot, burning his lips.  It gags him when he swallows.  A lesser will might have given up, but Celegorm is nothing if not persistent.
        When the last chunk slides heavy down his throat, OromĂ« kneels and takes Celegormâs face in his hands.  He kisses him, and the blistered flesh of Celegormâs lips screams at the pressure.  He shivers as OromĂ«âs hand caresses his tired flesh, sliding smoothly through the gore and mingled blood that soaks him.  He lets OromĂ« lift him, moaning softly as the torn flesh of his side rips anew.
        OromĂ« carries him to his bed and lays him on the furs, soothing Celegormâs hiss of pain with a kiss to the hollow of his throat.  âI feared the beast has killed me,â Celegorm says, turning his head to the side to see OromĂ«âs face. Â
        OromĂ« kneels beside him, stripping the sodden fabric from his wound.  Celegorm cries out as the fabric tugs at his flesh.  Blood spills from the gash and stains the fur beneath him.  âIt is not yet your time,â OromĂ« says, pressing a warm, damp cloth to the wound.
        âI have done the thing you asked of me,â Celegorm says, his teeth gritted against the pain.
        The cloth in OromĂ«âs hand is soaked with crimson and gold.  His touch is gentle, but the pain is intense, and Celegorm bites his tongue to keep from crying out.  OromĂ« wipes away the blood, and when he pulls back his hand, the wound ceases to bleed. He does not look at Celegorm.
        Celegorm reaches for OromĂ«âs hand.  âOromĂ«,â he says.  âPlease.â
        For a moment, OromĂ« is silent, and Celegormâs heart is in his throat.  Then OromĂ« lifts Celegormâs hand to his lips and presses a kiss to his knuckles.  âI will do the same,â he says.  There is sorrow in his voice, and Celegorm, spent as he is, cannot fathom why.  âRest, now,â OromĂ« says, leaning down to press a kiss to Celegormâs forehead.  âIn the morning, you must go.â
*****
        It is daybreak when Celegorm wakes, warm and contented and blissfully free of pain.  He sits up and runs a hand over the jagged white scar on his side, the only sign of the wound that nearly killed him.  He looks for OromĂ«, but the Vala is nowhere to be found.  Celegorm sighs and picks himself up.  He casts a last, longing glance around the tent and pushes his way outside. Â
        It takes him a moment to realize what is strange about the clearing where he stands.  The fire, ever-burning, has gone out.  He kneels beside it and presses a hand to the coals.  They give no hint of the flames that outmatched his own height only the day before; the embers are cold and crumble beneath his hands.  He stands up, uneasy, and startles at the rattle behind him.  He turns to find the tent has collapsed, falling in on itself in a heap.  He goes to it, watching in dismay as the fabric twists and tears and crumbles, aging an eon before his eyes. Â
        He backs away, eyes darting uneasily around the clearing.  He is beginning to understand the sorrow in OromĂ«âs eyes, the regret in his voice. Later, he will share it.  For now, he turns and runs. Â
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Your Death is a Number but I Cannot Count that High (2/?)
In which Maul has a weird dream, and also some soup.
canon divergent after Son of Dathomir | 2.6k | read on AO3
âI am an unworthy apprentice,â Savage grinds out. Heâs nothing but wet gasps and sounds and blood on the dirty floor. âIâm notââ
Maul forces his brotherâs mouth shut then, violently violently enough to make teeth crack. His right hand wraps itself around Savageâs face, around the lower half, and Maul pushes the jaw closed with enough desperation that he almost overbalances, almost tumbles down onto his brother instead of kneeling by the fallen body and bending over it. Barely in time, he manages to brace himself against the floor with the free hand. His ingernails dig into the soft skin of Savageâs cheeks with enough pressure that they scrape the skin off, warm trickles of blood, and Maulâs thumb slips into the fleshy spot between jawbone and neck. Deep bruises, tomorrow, if there is a tomorrow for them. The whimpers are muffled. The apology is silenced.
He will not have his apprentice (his brother, his dying brother) waste his last few breaths on frivolous words. Instead, he traps air and the green icy twisting magicâtraps lifeâinside.
(Itâs true, Maul had resented his bumbling apprentice. It always seemed unfair that Maul had tried so hard and suffered so much punishment and failed, and yet Savage knew nothing and he wasnât hurt. A wrong impulse: there is no fairness but the Masterâs will. Besides, the imbalance could have been corrected, butâŠ)
None of this matters now, and there are so many wordsâIâll never leave you, brother, because this is a wish after all, I will not leave. I am not dying. This wound is not realâso many words that he wants to hear, and wonât. He will not allow Savage to speak.
Desperately, he holds the green light inside Savageâs jaw.
Some of it escapes, drools out like spit: icy green ethereal burning saliva. The magic spills down over Maulâs fingers and elbows, rears up angrilyâit is not his; it does not like to be heldâand it flows up Maulâs nose and takes away the air until heâs lightheaded, but still, he holds Savageâs mouth shut. Still, he wraps his mind around the threads that have already slipped out. He tugs. He gathers and stuffs them inside every hole he can find, ears and mouth and nostrils and the charred spots where Master impaled Savage on his red blades. He pushes magic and whatever else he can find deep inside twin damaged loving hearts. Into lungs. Into muscle tissue and gristle and arteries.
Maulâs hands are not a barrier: the green light is not physical. He shoves it through his own flesh. It hurts. Something scrapes against Maulâs skin, cutting through his index finger: a piece of shrapnel, detritus from broken stained-glass windows that must have been caught in his concentration. It wriggles inside his hand until it slips below and then disappears. It must have hurt Savage too, heâs writhing in Maulâs grasp and then he spasms and his gentle eyes roll and he almost manages to tear his mouth away. He bites Maul. Whatever it is, it hurts Savage, but the magic burns Maul. It feels like Naboo, like Kenobiâs âsaber tearing through Maulâs viscera, only higher: the lightsaber is now stabbing Maulâs heartsâbrother, how are you using the Sistersâ magic, what isâstabbing Maul exactly where Master skewered Savage, and distantly, he wonders whether Lord Sidious has used the distraction to dispose of Maul the same way he did his brother. Then the question is swallowed again, by a churning sea of pain and concentration and terror.
None of this matters, not the pain and not death. Savage is pathetic and scared and weak, and if he cannot ensure his own survival then he deserves nothing, butâMaul knows that Savage will lose more breath, more magic, if he lets go. He cannot let go. He doesnât. The light is so cold that it scalds him, it sizzles off his flesh and leaves itchy wriggling trails wherever it touches himâdid Talzinâs magic hurt this much when it restored Maul or does he just not rememberâthe magic writhes and durasteel scraps volley and beat against his back and pound his head and the holes in his chest burn and thenâ
It stops.
There is no magic. No light. No pain.
There is warm air puffing gently against Maulâs palm. Yellow eyes look up.
Hastily, Maul tears his hand away. Tears his body away. He rears up from where heâs crouched over Savage, up and away, until heâs sitting on the floor, and then he crawls backwards, keeps pushing his unfeeling feet against the floor till heâs put some distance between them, if only a few centimeters.
Savage sits up.
He looksâhealthy, Maul thinks. Strange. Alive. Whole. The skin that stretches over his chest isnât free from burns or scars, from holes, as if Savage had never been stabbed. The green light isnât gone, as if heâd never been cursed. Faint magic lurks around him, and there are holes, twin massive gouges burnt into Savageâs chest, filled up with shrapnel. A button lurks in there, like a⊠Like the ignition button of a lightsaber handle, of Savageâs saberstaff, scavenged and stuffed inside as a quick patch for what should have been a mortal wound. Next to it, a scrap of the emitter guardâs edge sticks out. Thereâs a torn-off piece of Maulâs own prosthetic foot in there, too, and the whole situation reminds Maul of his own prosthetics, of the new legs that Talzin conjured. Only much worse. Ramshackle. Whateverâs inside Savage wriggles slightly with every breath.
Then, the light sucks itself in and the metal smooths out.
No injury.
No death.
Just a brother, now, and he is smiling.
âBrother, are you alright?â Savage asks, and then he flickers, growing pale and then present again. âMaul? How are you here? I thought you wereââ
It did not happen this way, Maul realizes. This fight took place weeks ago, and it didnât happen this way. Savage isnât alive, the magic hadnât worked, and Maul is not on Mandalore. Heâs on a barge headed away from Dathomir, now, taking random jumps to evade Masterâs scanners, or maybe thatâs stopped now. Maul doesnât know. He knows one thing, though: This did not happen.
This is nothing but a dream.
Savage is dead now.
Maul hadnât managed to keep him alive. Outside of this dream-world and in the real Mandalorian palace, weeks ago, Masterâs laughter had echoed quietly in the empty hall, and Maul had let go of Savageâs mouth. Had let the head drop. Heâd lost controlâgiven up controlâof the green light that heâd been forcing back into his brotherâs body, the magic that heâd wished could be his brotherâs salvation. Heâd ignored the choking, the spasms, the death rattle. Heâd let go.
Master had come, and Maul had stood up, choosing survivalâchoosing revengeâover futility and his brotherâs dwindling life force.
Heâd let Savage die.
It had been the only correct choice. Magic is fickle and primitive, and it was wrong, below any Sith, to seek to prolong a weaklingâs life. Letting go had been the right choice, but one that had been irrelevant, in truth, like any choice that Maul has ever made. Spoilt by his impotence. None of them have effected anything, and the decision to leave Savage choking on the ground didnât either. In mere seconds, Maul had been on the floor, dumb and whining and begging for mercy that would never be his. In minutes, heâd been unconscious, and loaded on the prison transport.
Savage is dead, now, but heâs also patched up and crawling closer through the half-remembered nightmare corridor, and it did not happen this way. It wasnât even a corridor. Savage touches Maulâs shoulder, and then, as always, he draws the hand back after a fraction of a second, afraid of the instinctive violent retaliation that doesnât come, this time, if only because this is not real.
âAre you alright, Lord Maul?â Savage asks. Shakes his head, frowning. Something wriggles in his chest, and itâs not smooth anymore: the emitter guard sticks out again. The gouges on his cheeks have scabbed over, suddenly. âWhere did you go? Maul, is that really you? Is this a vision? Tell me where you are, brother. You werenât on Mandalore. Pleaseââ
âWe need to leave, Savage,â Maul says, âThis place is dangerous.â He offers his bleeding hand.
Savage looks concerned, briefly, and then he takes it and hauls himself up, and he smiles gently. âYouâre shaking. Do not be afraid, brother. Itâs good that you knew how to use the Dathomiri magic, isnât it?â he says. âYou kept me alive. Thank you. If you hadnât known how to use magic, both of my hearts would have failed. I would have died.â
Maulâs grin is empty. âYou did.â
This is nothing but a foolish dream, a nightmare that taunts him and thatâs pretending that Lord Sidious is gone, somehow. That He would have given Maul enough time to talk to Savage. Itâs pretending that Maul is proficient enough at Dathomiri magic to save his brother, when heâs never learnt the skill. Heâs spent his whole life immersed in Sith teachings and yet Maul still failed as a Master, as an apprentice, too. Seeing magic used once could never have been sufficient. Maul never could have used Talzinâs tricks to save his brother. It had been an insane, helpless attempt, thatâs all. Savage is dead. Also, the dream doesnât understand his speech patterns, and when it gets them right, his brother makes no sense at all.
âI didnât, I⊠Maul, please tell me where you are.â
This is nothing but an empty simulacrum, a torture dreamt up by Maulâs unconscious mind, and the details arenât even correct. Savage is dead, and Maul doesnât know where his corpse is.
Still, it takes an embarrassingly long time until Maul manages to make himself wake up.
Finally, he blinks.
The floor is real, now. Itâs much cleaner.
Maul blinks again, angryâwhy did he want to stay thereâand he wipes the gunk out of the corners of his eyes. His fingers come away empty. The next thing he notices is the pressure in his back, the muscle cramps and pressure sores where flesh meets durasteel as if heâs been asleep for too many hours, and kneeling in this spot for days.
Maul hasnât moved at all for a long time. How pathetic.
Then, he smells meat. There is a bowl of bone broth next to Maulâs knee, in the same place where there has always been a bowl or plate, ever since he was brought into this room. Kast or Saxon always bring them. It doesnât smell appealing or repulsive; it doesnât smell like he should eat it. Nothing has smelled that way, ever since he was brought aboard. Ever since Dathomir, butâMaul remembers the choice he made. The choice to drop Savageâs head. Heâd chosen survival over clinging on to his brother, then, and he should honor this choice now. He has nothing left but survival, and part of that is sustenance. He can force himself to believe he is hungry. He should eat.
Maul picks up the bowl. He tips it against his mouth and his stomach aches, hurts more when the first few drops of soup hit it. Greedily, he slurps it all down.
It tastes of nothing.
This is both expected and irrelevant. Maul licks the bowl clean.
âAre you feeling better, Lord Maul?â the watcher asks. Apparently, itâs Kastâs duty for today.
âYes,â Maul replies. He didnât hear her approach, and he doesnât flinch. It is bad enough that sheâs seen enough to ask this question, but itâs also immaterial what she has witnessed. Useless vanity. What these people think of Maul does not matter, orâthey are loyal to him, apparently, in spite of it. A strange thing. This is the only plan of Maulâs that ever succeeded. He should make use of their loyalty. âCan you procure another soup bowl?â
âYes, Lord Maul.â She types something on the comm on her wristband.
Maul hands her the bowl, then, and he shakes out his hand. It doesnât help: thereâs still the imprint of another hand holding onto him. The dream hasnât left yet.
(âIs this a vision? Tell me where you are, brother.â)
âDo you...â Maul looks up at Kast. âWhat did you do with Savageâs corpse?â
Different cultures have different funerary rites. They are feebly attached to dead things. They honor their remains, touch and think of those they have lost forever, and they let go. The Jedi like to burn their corpses, pile them high with timber and straw and set them on fire, a sign of their intrinsic weakness. They want the body gone, so that its rot does not show them their own future. Their inevitable fall on the blade of the Sith. Other cultures like to⊠Maul doesnât know any other rites. Heâd never thought it particularly important what happens to cadavers. He himself was going to be disposed of in the least obtrusive fashion, most likely, when his time came. Dissolved, perhaps, or left for the flies.
âThere was no body on Mandalore. Not your brotherâs body, anyway. We donât know what happened to it,â Kast says. âIâm sorry, Lord Maul.â
Maul doesnât why this feels wrong. It shouldnât matterâit doesnât matter, and even the question was superfluous, a leftover urge from his pointless nightmare.
If it had been recovered, his brotherâs corpse would have been a relic of warmer times at best, of the future criminal empire they could have had, of the future they could have had. At worst, it would have been an indictment of his own abject weakness. Regardless of its significance to Maul, it would have been dead. Empty. A slowly rotting thing with no spark of Savageâs gentleness left inside.
âYou searched the palace?â he asks, anyway.
âYes,â Kast says. âAs soon as we realized you were gone we entered Sundari. We looked in every room, but you werenât there. We found nothing but stale signs of carnage, and we knew that you had been taken. We sent out spies into the Separatistsâ armies and many other locations to find you. Itâsâfinding you was time-sensitive. We prioritized. Itâs possible that we didnât inspect the palace thoroughly enough to notice his corpse. Do you want me to order another search?â
Savage is dead, and this doesnât matter.
(âBrother, where areââ)
âDo that,â Maul orders. âFind his body. Bring me more food. Where are we going?â
They will find the corpse, and Maul knows nothing of mourning or pointless rituals, but he knows Savageâknew Savageâand his brother valued the nightbrother way of life. Their way of death, too, most likely, and Savage would have wanted to have those rites, whatever they are. He was feeble enough to care about that. Nightbrothersâ rites⊠everyone that Maul could have asked is dead now. Mother Talzin has been slain, and Dathomir lies in ruin. Everyone is dead now. Everything that was left of Savage is gone. Everything but the body they will find, and soon it will rot, tooâor burn, maybe.
Every last part of Maulâs history that wasnât Sith is gone. Master has taken all things, even those that Maul hadnât known he owned. Only Maulâs life is left, and Master will not take it. With the aid of his loyal soldiers, he has escaped. A hollow triumphâpretending that Lord Sidious would waste his anger on his former apprenticeâs survival is nothing but vainglory and delusionâbut a triumph nonetheless.
The only victory Maul will ever have.
#this is way more descriptive than i usually write but i'm practicing!!#darth maul#Savage Opress#zombie savage au#dimtraces makes things
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