#unrequited!destiel

[quietwings-fics]

why's every song about love (or drinking too much)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Supernatural Ship: Gen (Castiel & Sam) (with minor Destiel) Additional Tags: One Shot, Drinking & Talking, Sad, Season/Series 05, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, Castiel Needs a Hug (Supernatural), Unrequited Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship Wordcount: 876 Summary:

set in a vague s5-ish era. Sam and Cas talk about the whole 'unrequited love' thing.

He doesn’t question why Cas comes to him instead of trailing three feet behind his brother like usual. It’s not like he has anywhere else to go. It’s not like he has anyone else, now. Because of them. Sam can add that to the overflowing sack of shit he’ll feel guilty about for the rest of his life. Still, when Cas asks for a drink, he obliges. It won’t do much for an angel (or maybe it will. Cas keeps landing down in the mud with them and every week, it seems harder for his wings to lift him back out.) but he thinks that the ritual of it might be more important than the effects. Cas takes the sanctity of human rituals very seriously, no matter how mundane.

Sam’s got to know, though. What’s another dead cat to his curiosity, right?

“It’s Dean, right?” Castiel goes very still, dangerously still. His eyes lock on Sam, and there’s almost none of the wavering haze of alcohol in them. Castiel has to be more than half a dozen inches shorter than him, but in that moment, sitting across from him, Sam feels somehow dwarfed.

“How?” He says, and there’s thunder in that voice, and oh god, oh fuck, angel, he forgot that Cas was a fucking angel and that he should not be poking his emotions with a stick .

“It’s- Cas-” He stammers. He doesn’t know Castiel, he can’t trust him as much as he wants to. Castiel gave his life (for Dean) and he rebelled (for Dean) and he’ll help stop the Apocalypse (for Dean). But he’s still an unknown in so many ways.

It surprises him then, when Cas slumps over the table slightly, picks up his glass again, and downs it in one swallow. Gone is the presence that made him feel like a mouse in a hawk’s gaze, and it’s... It’s Cas. Little lost angel in a trenchcoat who threw away everything, who asks him to explain metaphors and references because he knows Dean can’t slow himself down enough to do it, who he texts for info about hunts as an excuse to make sure he’s okay.

“It is obvious, isn’t it?” He says glumly. Sam looks down, nods. Slowly, he reaches across the table. His hand lands a little awkwardly on Cas’s shoulder, and he jolts in slow motion, blinking and looking down at the contact. Sam pats him twice before retreating, feeling a burning flush of embarrassment spread over his cheeks. He’s... not good at comfort. Hell, he’s not even sure if Cas really wants a shoulder to cry on or if that would be an insult somehow.

“To just about everyone who sees you two, yeah.”

“But not to Dean.” The one person who would really matter. Sam sighs, holds out his hand for the glass. Cas passes it over reticently.

“Not to Dean.” He echoes.

“He’s impossible.”

“I know.”

“I love him.” Sam puts the glass down. Cas does not say things lightly, and he wishes he had anything to offer but an empty reassurance.

“I know, Cas.”

“It hurts.” Cas folds his hands under his chin like he could be praying. Sam wants someone to answer him. A miracle before Cas puts all of the faith he has left into the Winchesters and gets himself torn apart for it. “I don’t understand why it hurts, Sam. Love should not hurt.” There’s a rise of static on Sam’s skin to echo Cas’s agitation, making his hair stand on end.

“You’ve got to tell him,” Sam says. “We’re going to pull this off or we’re going to die trying or worse, but either way, you’ve got to say something, Cas, cause he won’t see it.” It’s too late, he thinks when Cas looks at him like he’s the one holding the knowledge of whole galaxies in him. When Cas looks at him like his words are something worth believing in. But Sam’s human and so is Dean, and just because they’ve learned the language of martyrdom doesn’t mean they’re fluent. “You could die for the sake of loving him, and he wouldn’t see it.” Cas’s expression closes off a little when he understands. What a family they’ve built here at the end of the world, with a tomb to hold them out of every word left unspoken.

And maybe Sam can’t fix everything with Dean. He fucked up good and twisted the knife on his way out and maybe there’s no way back from that, but Cas deserves better. If Sam can help him, he will, even if he’s got no idea how.

“You know him,” Sam opens his mouth to argue. He doesn’t. He doesn’t because if he did they wouldn’t be in this mess, but Castiel won’t have it. “You do, despite your failings. You are still his brother. What would he say, Sam, if he knew the magnitude of my devotion?”

Sam swallows.

“He’d be scared.” His answer reaches out with the weight of all he cannot explain. It takes hold of Cas without mercy, and his hands drop from their mock prayer.

“So am I.” And Sam can do nothing but pass him another glass, so that he knows that, at least, he is not alone.

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[shadypoliticianfromplanetvulcan]

It's funny that Castiel had plenty of opportunities to "get" Dean when his relationship with Sam was seriously damaged - the s5 breakup for one, Cas could've used that to his advantage, or the s9 breakup Cas could've swooped in and hold on tight and maybe carve himself deeper into Deans heart or maybe even s6 when everything was so messed up with Sam's soul and Dean was hanging loose there for a while but. Cas is always passive in that regard, always letting Dean lead instead of leading Dean himself. And that's where Crowley comes in, sees the gap there is between Sam and Dean and masterfully constructs a plan to try to keep Dean for himself - and the thing is he succeeds at that, for a while. He makes a space for himself somewhere inside Dean (pun intended) and even if that doesn't last it still does in a way because Dean may never love him but he may never kill him or even hate him either and there remains just enough room for Crowley to hang on to and feed from that and nourish his twisted soul. If it ends up killing him then well. He played and lost and won and that's about it in this game isn't it.

[sastielsmanuscript-draft]

dont bother him, he's listening to casual

[drulalovescas]

When a cosmic entity tells you your boyfriend doesn't love you back

[sunbleachedf4wn]

i 🤍 wincestiel love triangle where sam wants cas, cas wants dean, and dean wants sam. everyone is wanting someone they can't have and no one is happy about it.

[ebenelephant]

don't get me wrong i like the concept of a celestial being feeling unrequited romantic love for a human, but i much prefer the dynamic of two freak brothers who are offputting to everybody except their equally crazy, maladjusted best friend

[heliotrope155]

How I think Deanbenny went from Benny's perspective:

Months 1-3: Oh my God this human is actually so adorable despite being so violent/grudging respect/mutual building of trust

4-7: Hardcore pining as he and Dean have full on Moments™ and frequently wondering "How the fuck are we still looking for this fucking angel? When does the grieving process start?"

8-11: The slow decision that Benny is not sticking his dick in crazy

11 onward: Friends is better/pining continues/deep annoyance with Cas multiplies exponentially

[beatsheetromanroy]

GOD LOVES ME I KNOW HE LOVES ME I WANT HIM TO STOP

[abyss55199794]

why him? why not me?

[samwinchestersgirl83]

It took Cas telling Sam that he will fail Dean to snap him out of the fantasy happy place. Dean is his ultimate trigger.

I love that episode in general because I love episodes where we get to have Sam and Cas friendship screen time. But even if Cas is in love with Dean, I feel like he acknowledges somewhat that he will never be Sam in Dean’s eyes.

[youchangedmedestiel]

My little sister is just cusually humming Nothing Else Matters by Metallica while cutting the potatoes and she doesn't know.

She just doesn't fucking know.

[jakrispy7161]

It’ll pass

[sunbleachedf4wn]

endverse dean moaning sam's name as he fucks cas brutally enough to make him wince and bites his throat and shoulders raw. wishing it was his baby brother underneath him.

[ebenelephant]

anyway so i'm out of my 48hr destiel salt era and am now ready to share my real opinions on the ship.

i like cas. he's cool. i prefer him in the early seasons, and i think there's a big stretch of time before kelly kline where he doesn't have that much going on, but that's a messy writing problem rather than a castiel problem. also, i'm a big fan of othering fantastical beings – he's a soldier of god, and i like it when he acts like it; cold and strange and alien. even though in canon he has female love interests, i tend to think of him as some form of aroace. that said, when i do consider destiel, having an angel of the lord feeling unrequited love for this deeply flawed human is fascinating to me.

dean is like... too dangerous, too mean, too angry to be in a stable relationship imo. he's a dick (affectionate) (derogatory) and frankly cas deserves better. dean will pick sam over castiel every single time without a thought and that's really saying something because he spends a lot of time being a massive asshole to sam towards the end. and to be clear, this isn't dean slander, i fucking love him, but this is how he's presented in the show (sometimes, when they feel like it). dean tried so hard to escape the cycle of mistreatment he was raised in, and he failed, and he fell back in even harder, and i find that so compelling.

[arcanespillo]

hmm? “Heaven and Hell”

Supernatural S4E10