#unrelated but it was also my grandpa’s service today and two of my dad’s long term family friends were there
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been validated in my (poor?) decisions TWICE today and i’m feeling vindicated if also mildly conflicted
#not feeling like such a bad person for it after today#unrelated but it was also my grandpa’s service today and two of my dad’s long term family friends were there#and i’ve known them and their two daughters since i was a baby#and it was really nice to have them there#especially Aundra#she had my dad scootch over so she could sit next to me and we talked about how their bookstores are doing#and what her girls are up to#(one is finishing up her psych degree the other has just finished her apprenticeship as a tattoo artist)#and we talked about me going back to school and what i find fascinating about the sciences#and then back at the reception we talked books and animal intelligence#it was nice#also during the service my uncle (the youngest of the four kids) touched on Papa’s problems with anger in his early and mid-life#which gave me a bit more of an understanding of my father#because my dad never really saw his dad’s anger issues as ‘that bad’ or ‘much of a problem’#but the other kids did#and that explains why my dad also never saw his OWN anger issues as ‘that serious’ when they severely impacted the life of my mother and I#anyway family history is complex and trauma lives through generations#my dad had a severely alcoholic mother and a father with (at least during some points in his life) serious anger issues#and now he has a complicated and somewhat reliant relationship with alcohol and anger issues that haunted our family for some years#learning about family history gives a decent amount of insight and I hope it can arm us a little better#anyway#been a big day and I’m sooooooo sleepy#looking forward to seeing a friend on Tuesday to find our classrooms in advance of classes starting up in two weeks#personal
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