#unrecquited

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

today's discussion topics from my workplace:

picking up girls for casual sex and then getting upset when they use you back and don't develop unrecquited feelings

a discussion about how these women are all just cheating on their abusive boyfriends anyways, followed by lot of joking and laughing about how funny it is when women make excuses for their abusers

transvestigating Megan Thee Stallion (for some reason? I dont think there was any particular reason this was brought up, but it was)

"I think there need to be racists in the world, because if there werent racists then there would be no liberals trying to make things better"

"I feel like every girl at some point is going to have a relationship with someone too old for them and that's okay. Like, she's too young to actually marry and feel right about it, but not too young for, like...'

[fairyreaper22345]

supernatural romcom movie where a monsterfucker finds dracula's castle and agrees to work there as a bellhop or whatever, but instead of being paid with money they insist on being paid with dates with dracula

and dracula agrees and dates them just for the contract but then he actually falls in love with them

and they just did this for a joke and didn't expect him to agree

so it starts as a fake dating au but then they actually fall for eachother and have to repress these feelings because oh fuck i fell for my employee/oh fuck i caught feelings for dracula and of course they think it's unrecquited and the other is just going along with it for the contract

[imawh0r3-86]

I did mean nightmare!Eddie, forgive me. I also haven’t seen it in awhile so I actually don’t remember much of it 😬 it’s just all over my fyp and I remember some sort of unrecquited love situation.

Betty!!! I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking about Corpse Bride! Eddie all day for the supernatural series?? I think that’s a cute way to end it if they do end up together 😭

Darling, do you mean for nightmare!eddie ??

Oh but wait, isn't that sad 🥺 So beautiful but so sad....gah....I am really, deeply delusional and I feel like I will need to find a way for Eddie and Reader to be together even if he is an apparition.

[cynicalrainbows]

thank you for the coming headcanons! while I love a good baby gay crush the thought of cathy and anne figuring it out in their later teens is very interesting!! like it’s been established they both like boys but there’s always been this weird jealousy when one of them starts seeing a boy but they assume it’s “oh I’m just protective of my best friend” and they end up getting tipsy and kissing and afterwards it’s awkward between them for the 1st time in their lives so catalina & jane offer advice

Thank you dear! i love the baby gay thing too but as someone who didn’t come out til my 20s, I reallyl ike the idea of Cathy and Anne not working it out til then either. Because it can be so EASY to just fall into dating boys at school- it’s expected, you want to fit in- so Cathy can kiss the boy who always hangs around the library with her, Anne can kiss one of the boys she plays sports with... They can giggle about boys together a bit as a bonding sort of thing but then once it starts to get a bit more serious and their mutual friends start asking about whether they’re in LOVE, the other gets all twitchy and spikey and weird and they can’t figure out why (and ofc Catalina and Jane assure them that it’s totally ok to be slightly jealous of the others new boyfriend).

Maybe they even kiss for the first time as a dare at a party- a tipsy game of truth or dare or spin the bottle turns into them kissing to show what good sports they are, and they’re both utterly stunned by how much they like it and how they can’t keep thinking about it....and then they’re worried that the other will find it weird that they’re so hung up on it, so they both distance themselves a bit and neither will talk about what’s going on for ages so Jane and Catalina think they’ve had a falling out....until eventually they get wind of a picture of The Kiss on facebook (before Anne angrily untags them both) and then it’s like ‘AH ok maybe we need to have a different talk...’

I’m not sure what sort of advice they’d give- probably that they’ve both been friends for so long, they can’t let something like this get between them and that unrecquited feelings are better than just never talking again.

God knows how long it’d take Anne and Cathy to listen though. Maybe Kitty orchestrates something so they HAVE to be together.

[pcostales-blog]

I should be doing work but I wrote a love letter instead

Something I wrote a while ago :)

I should be doing work. But there’s always work. I want to put down in writing how I feel right now, because I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this way before. Hmm. You know how you say that every little thing Rayyan does makes you understand what love is, every little thing he does is so beautiful? When you sent me that video of him eating random bakery items? That is how I feel about you. I think I’ve felt that way for a really long time now that I think about it. I could just watch you and feel amazed, overwhelmed, filled up. It is probably why I keep capturing your various expressions and showing them to you. Every little thing you do I just want to keep looking at. It’s really no wonder that I know your every expression by heart, and that I can predict everything you do. If anybody put in this much time, effort and passion into anything, they can master it! Wow man, mini ‘discovery’ here. It makes sense to me now, how I know what you’re thinking and what you’re about to say half the time. Hmm.

The tragedy of it all, the biggest tragedy which makes me feel so bad about this whole thing, is that it looks like I’ll lose an amazing friendship because of this. What am I going to do without all the positivity you bring into my life? I’m jealous. Of Rahul, of Bhavna, of every random person who gets to keep you in their life but I don’t get to even though I want to, so badly. Don’t freak out but I’m crying right now hahaha. I don’t even know yet if I’m going to have the guts to do this, to cut you out for as long as it takes… I hope I do it. For my sake (and yours)

Recently, I know I’ve kinda been draining you cuz of this shit too. Like I know you felt all helpless in Mumbai when I was playing my love playlist :D and I promise you it’s going to get worse. The pain and sadness. And it’ll drain you. So I dunno, long run, this is the best thing to do for you also. Do you really want a friend in your life who won’t be happy for you when you get married? I want to get to that stage but it’ll take me time. I’ve been in denial for so long about my feelings for you, I’ve been denying they are real, that they come and go… but it’s high time I acknowledge that the feelings are real I can’t take it anymore. There is a part of me that is just so happily in love but there is also this constant part of me that feels only one emotion, strong and clear- rejection. WHY doesn’t he like me the way I like him, want me the way I want him, see me the way I see him. I look in the mirror and I look at my head and I hate it. I think, would he be attracted to me if I had long beautiful hair like he said that Samreen crush of his had? Am I not feminine enough for him? Should I wear black so that he compliments me? Should I wear something classy but completely covered up so that he looks at me, for a moment, like I’m a Muslim?

I also know this WHY question is not a fair question to ask you, it isn’t a fair question to ask anybody- I can’t question the mechanics of getting attracted to someone- when you’re not attracted you’re just not. Friendzone is friendzone. It is just frustrating and confusing for me- I accept you wholly and I need you to accept me that same way- which isn’t possible.

(I do remember your Shakira is so sexy but I still don’t wanna marry her explanation- but these thoughts come into my head anyway.)

I also know I am not being practical with all this. I know that the actual event of getting to marry you comes with several things that I’d say are deal-breakers for me…you know what I am talking about…but I can’t bring my brain/heart to care about those things now. All I see right now is you through my coloured feelings-lenses. Your slight hunch. Your soft hair. Your laugh. Sighhh your laugh. I yearn for you to be mine, for it all to be mine, even though it isn’t practical and it doesn’t make sense. I want to tuck you into bed. I want to kiss you on your cheek. I want to play with your hair. I want you to let me take care of you. I want to take care of you. And um I want my kids to have you as their father. That escalated quickly :P

I spoke to my friends about it all- and well, Divya said, that I should cut you off when I still have some semblance of control over this situation. Because my initial idea was to just wait for an explosion- a huge amount of crying or something, some sort of a breaking point where I would have no choice but to end this. But if it gets to that stage, who will take care of me now? This isn’t college, I don’t have friends around and I have to work.

Of course, I, selfishly, plan to meet you and make some more amazing memories with you these coming 2 weeks in Chennai…and then maybe that’ll be the last we see each other for a while. At least till this stuff completely leaves my system. No idea how long that’s going to take. Fuck, it pains me every time I think that I’ve to let go of this friendship as well. And so do you. I’m so sorry.

You know I still don’t know if I’m just going to wake up in a couple of days, ignore that I ever wrote this letter, trivialize everything I’m feeling, make it seem small, and start talking to you as usual…till this damn cycle repeats over and over.

I have loved feeling this way. To be honest, it’s only been a week since I acknowledged to myself that this is real and that this is more than just a crush. And that acknowledgement has made me feel some amazing things. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s beautiful and you know what, I think the pain and bittersweetness of not having my feelings returned, somehow makes it that much more intense and beautiful.

I’m feeling all the clichés man. I sometimes see you when you're not there. As in often I mistake somebody for you and do a double take. I know your face by heart. Your every expression. When you're trying to explain something you consider ridiculously simple. You have an expression for that, did you know that? Your need to give a clear conclusion/takeaway for EVERYthing. Your need to follow up even after a phone conversation and say that was a good conversation. All the little things about you that are so uniquely you, I just watch and enjoy and love. And someday you're going to look at someone like this, you're going to know every inch of somebody's face by heart, you're going to look at somebody and just love them for no reason, you're going to look at somebody and it's going to cause intense and beautiful feelings in you that you're just going to sit back and enjoy, and sometimes it pains me that that person can't be me. You know what, you’ve made a little writer out of me! :P The only times I’ve written over this past year have been about you! You give me things to write about! Wow! Isn’t there some quote that goes like love makes poets of us all? Hmm. Anyway, now I can’t imagine how pained and messed up actual writers and artists must be and NO YOU ARE NOT AN ARTIST.

Now, this letter makes the T & A saga sound like it was mostly a negative event for me. Which it really isn’t. My so-called pain is negligible compared to all the positivity you’ve brought in. I take anything you say very very seriously. I internalize whatever you say that makes sense to me. Even though I’ll make fun of you for being preachy or something. Some amazing things you’ve taught me that I strongly strongly believe in now-

1.       To lean on my friends. To just seek help when I need it. I’ve been doing this and it’s been amazing. Thank you so much.

2.       That anything can be achieved through grit and will power and effort. You’ve kinda made me much more solution-oriented you know, and you’ve made me firmly believe there are solutions to everything.

3.       Writing down things helps internalize them, helps get them out of your system, etc. Gratitude writing and many of these little life hacks that articles recommend, I used to dismiss but now I’ve understood that there’s really something to them.

4.       This list is annoying, the rest of this letter I wrote so spontaneously but this list is annoying so I’m putting a brake on this

As I write this, I’m realizing something- I idolize everything you say. I mean, I’m like a baby who looks up to you as friend, parent, navigator through this murky world. Any thing you say is the ONLY thing in the world for me. You get it? This is probably why I hate the fact that you don’t approve of drinking, skimpy clothes etc. I mean with a friend, it is very easy to sort of live and let live but here, I try to live my whole life in a manner that I think you’d approve of. I look at my life through your eyes. I don’t know how to explain it. But that makes things you disapprove of a constant fight for me. I keep bringing it up, the skimpy clothes or alcohol etc and fighting about it. This is the reason I do that. Everything you say is constantly on the surface of my mind. What would Thanish do is the most natural response in my head to lotsa situations now. It’s ridiculous how much control you unwittingly have over me. I was talking to a friend today and he made me feel that late marriage is absolutely okay. But in my Thanish world there is only one reality, get married ASAP because family is everything. I’m easily influenced in general, and I’m EXTREMELY easily influenced by you. I don’t really know what I want so most of the time I mirror the desires and dreams of those closest to me, I think. So many perceptions I’ve built that I’m sure will go away if we stop talking for a while. Pretty sure the positive changes will go away too. Hope not.

 Anyway, I don’t know, maybe I’ll snap out of it. Or maybe I just need to go flirt with some boys. Or maybe this is real and it’ll take me months to recover. Not talking to you is going to be hard as fuck and you are going to help me with that, as always. Sigh. I’m so fucking sorry for pulling you through all of this.

I’m so happy to have fallen for someone that I’ve a solid friendship with- it’s the dream! Just a liiiittle unfortunate that you don’t feel the same way :P But practically, I’m 100% sure this won’t be a good match and all that. But well. Fuck my heart. What to do.

[morifiinwe]

the hair petting! how could i forget the hair petting! it is very important to me that wei wuxian Knows jiang cheng in ways that no one else does anymore and that includes the ways he likes to be hugged.

aside from my regular yunmeng bros agenda including let jiang cheng talk about his own sacrifices and let lan sizhui call jiang cheng shushu i have also recently acquired let jiang cheng be terrified of messing this up

i’m now mildly obsessed with post canon jiang cheng coming to a realisation that he wants wei wuxian back in his life but not believing that wei wuxian wants to be a part of his, and that if he makes overtures of reconciliation he’ll ruin everything, because despite them once knowing the other really well, that easy understanding has been lost to time and truama and it’s something that they have to work to regain. one day jiang cheng will be able to look at his brother and know that ultimately wei wuxian loves him. one day wei wuxian will be certain that jiang cheng’s insults and threat mean love. they aren’t there yet but they can be!

i am somewhat drunk so don’t mind me but also i’m having thoughts and feelings about post canon yunmeng bros. i just want them to be happy!!! i just want them to remember that they are important to each other!! and i want them to know that it is ok to miss and love your brother and that moving forward doesn’t mean moving on and also i would like them to communicate even though that’s like pulling teeth with them. is it too much to ask that they make soup and then cry and then hug while crying?

My only note is that there should also be hair petting mixed in with the hugging. I feel like they deserve that after everything they’ve been through. I do legitimately think there’s a very solid chance of them doing exactly that, and perhaps it is unpopular of me but look I (also a little tipsy) lay my case before you. This is probably gonna be repetitive for everyone who’s been here awhile but:

1) They want to. Sad courtyard pining! In the book, this assault on my feelings:

But! Wanting doesn’t make it so, as this excerpt makes pretty clear. Wanting is necessary but it is not sufficient.

2) Their problem is not that as adults they realized that they don’t actually enjoy each other’s company, or that they got into a rut where they were just constantly mad at each other. At the heart of what went wrong between them there was for sure their own personal childhood trauma, terrible communication and deep seated philosophical differences. However, I would argue that the reasons those things exploded in their faces were:

a) the machinations of a series of supervillains (two genocides, a couple of self sacrificial maimings and a big promise breaking jailbreak in they’re still having soup together; it took their brother-in-law dying AND a massacre AND Yanli’s death to get them actually at odds with each other)

b) the big lie squatting at the heart of their relationship

As an adult Jiang Cheng has put a lot of work into having the social & political power to electrocute supervillains at will and Wen Ning has cleared up the big lie for them. I think one of the reasons Yunmeng Bros is so compelling is that the emotional heart of them feels really brutally realistic- you get to a certain age and you realize that some relationships are not salvageable, no matter how much you both love each other- but:

a) the reason Jiang Cheng was getting perpetually flaked on by a day drinking dude who wore too much black and aggressively refused to give a fuck about the things that mattered to him is that the dude in question loved him so much he had cut his soul out for him. This is the single least realistic revelation in a series that includes necromancy and your summer camp crush devotedly pining for years on end.

b) their relationship is still in flux at the end of the series. The last time we see them together is in the immediate aftermath of a series of pretty massive revelations, and I don’t think they’ve actually had time to process them or figure out how they feel. Giving chengqing back and ‘take care’ are definitely a shift from where they are at the beginning of the second life, but I do not think we have seen the endpoint of that shift. Of course there is no guarantee that endpoint will be reconciliation, but...

3) Jin Ling openly wants them to make up and is willing to take his dog out of the courtyard to make that happen. Their beloved and tragically orphaned nephew who has just lost a significant chunk of his remaining family under terrible circumstances has significant pull with both of them. They can’t repair their relationship just for him, but I do think they can be motivated to try, and per 2) I think it would actually probably go pretty decently. This also means they’re going to have to come to some kind of accord. The joy of not making up is never having to actually deal with the other person or their bullshit ever again and that isn’t really an option for them. A mixed blessing to be sure, but like, they might as well sort their shit out a bit while they’re here.

Anyway I think they are capable of being people who are good to and for each other and they have a second chance to do that and I want it so badly for both of them.

[pensiveponderer]

First Snow

This unfulfilled world of bitter yearning

settling snow unburning

restful minds do desire 

age old passion and youthful fires

once sought becomes bound

so unyielding this yearning 

beyond the cusp of our affection

what was once lost is now found

so new and so heavy- this learning

watch it now as it settles

first snow of broken petals.

[lone0kami-blog]

Neon Trees - Animal. Habits. "Here we go again...I kinda want(ed) to be more than friends..."

[flowers-andfeminism]

Unquestionable and Unrecquited

Me: Hey, do you wanna work on the quiz together?

Him: Well, I kinda already made plans...

Me: Can I at least know why you're suddenly not talking to me?

Him: Give me a reason to talk to you?

What I wanted to say: Because I've cried with you. I've cried over you. I've cried on your shoulder. I've never stopped loving you, regardless of the circumstances. I've always been there for you. Sacrificed sleep and well-being for you. And even though deep down I knew you'd never love me the way I loved you, I hoped you would at least recognize the truth in what I say. I don't love you in the shallow, touch and go way you love me. But in the deeply familiar way; an instinct to love and protect someone who you would take a bullet for. I can never love you the way you wish I loved you, but I'll be your sister, your mother, your friend, but I can't be your girlfriend.

What I said: I love you regardless. I'll be waiting when you want to be friends again.