#unless they combined it with some other reaction videos i suppose

[dykephan]

no gamingmas week </3 but maybe xmas day wdapteo5 or reacting to amazingdan

one can dream.....

[savebylou]

love louis with all my heart but acknowledging that he doesnt know the words to the songs he’s performing and doing nothing about it is just so unprofessional especially since he has said many times how grateful he is that he gets to perform as a solo artist

i just don’t see him making a huge effort in being a better performer for his fans as a huge part of his shows is just him letting the crowd sing. i dont know i just want to rant and express my disappointment. i love him i really do and i want him to succeed in every way but he needs to do better

Hi anon. Sorry to not answer yestarday I think your comment required more time to write something decent, I was barely functioning during the show. This was a really long answer, sorry in advanced for that:

You have the right to feel this way, I always respect every opinion (as long as is respectful), I just don't see him forgetting part of the song as such a problem as you. I guess it was a combination of the emotions of the last show, him not performing the song in a while and just being nervous. I think the reaction for this is completely opposite with you and me, you get frustrated and I think he is endearing and just honest, but I could see your pov if you want a more structure performance.

About him being a better performer, again that is you opinion if you see that way, I just have to disagree with you on this one. I think he is always becoming a better performer each show and each tour.

About the crowd singing, do you mean it for Drag Me Down or when he was sick that they sing some of his parts? If it was with dmd well he forgot the lyrics so he ask for help lol, but again my reaction is opposite as you. If you mean the second option I mean he was sick and didn't feel great, he is making the crowd help him. I don't see that as a bad thing, he can't take a day off if he feels sick (unless is really bad) so he put that feeling aside and still makes an effort to give the best that he can and he is smart enough to know when to sing so he can still have a voice and when to ask for help from the audience.

In my show in Mexico City he didn't sing the last bridge of HOTH, he make the audience sing it and we were so excited singing super loud, we didn't mind. And you could hear it in the livestream him coughing and he still did the best he can, he was amazing at my show and push pass that feeling of being sick to give us to the audience in person and online the best show he can.

If you are talking about in general letting the fans sing, I mean is part of the shows to let the crowd sing or at least in the shows I had been for other artists and it makes it better to have parts when fans can be the chorus for the singer and is also a smart move so the singer can catch a break and breath a little. I guess if for you is important that the singer is always singing without letting the crowd sing or have less moments like that I supposed that could play a huge role of how you see Louis.

About Louis as a performer I just see the whole picture. If you see videos of Louis during 2019 even the first show during 2020 before covid in comparison to 2024 it's insane the difference. In those years Louis was standing in the mic for the most part, he didn't move that much. Even at the beginning of LTWT and at the end of that tour you could see how his confidence as performer grow.

Same with FITFWT at the beginning an the end or comparing LTWT and this last tour. Louis was a different person really. His performance and confidence he shows was incredible to see. He owns the stage, he ask for more energy to the crowd, he interacts with fans, he moves in the stage (in the catwalk he needs to be more there but I hope he does it on the next tour), he has the audience in the palm of his hand when he performs.

I think creating the setlist he did this tour is part of making that much effort to be a better performer as well, to give the best songs as possible and have a different version of the songs live. The live album is also part of that for me, is a huge effort to record shows over 3 years and select a few ones to make an album. He didn't had the need to put a live album, but fans ask for it and he gave us that beautiful gift.

I will always appreciate Louis and the effort he puts in his shows, in his setlists, his sneaky surprises of songs, his beautiful speeches, his mesmerizing performances.

I think besides his speeches this is how he show how grateful he is: the man has tour over 3 consecutive years, we always get content of him, he doesn't have a lot of breaks, he has done a lot of promo for the album and for the latam tour, he is always working to give us so many amazing things, he give us a documentary, premieres of aotv, a livestream etc. For me that is a huge effort, is a lot of work, a lot of him he is putting to the world, is a lot of energy and could be really draining at times, specially going on tour with so many times changes with back to back shows, traveling etc. He still manages to do it and give the best he can and thanks the audience every single time.I will be always thankful for that.

I guess if knowing part of the lyrics for a song and letting the crowd sing are very important for you it could be frustrating to see that. I just don't see that as a problem and I see Louis as performer different than you and that is okay too, we can have different opinions.

I hope you have a lovely day.

[itsclydebitches]

FNDM: Powerlevels are just a mechanic for video games, what really matters is what the fight accomplishes!

Also FNDM: Ironwood struggled beating up that twig Watts, what a weak loser lol.

I’m not going to pretend that I wasn’t a little surprised when the story started setting up a Watts fight, just because of the long-standing implication that he was just the tech dude, but at least (to my recollection) RWBY never included things that outright steered us away from that idea. That’s my problem with Maria suddenly busting out moves against Neo. She’s animated as this hunched, slow-moving, cane-needing old lady who gets to be pushed through the snow because she can't possibly walk that far. She’s been traveling with a group that continually enters combat situations and never once, prior to now, helped them out. She’s supposed to be Ruby’s mentor, but never offered to train her. All of this, combined with the show not treating her skill reveal like a deliberately hidden twist—there are no nearby allies to exclaim in shock, no lines from Maria explaining why she’d keep this hidden—makes the writing feel inconsistent. Watts though? It works. He is primarily the tech dude, but that doesn’t eliminate other skills, and because he’s the tech dude no one expects him to act otherwise unless that’s necessary (like being unexpectedly cornered by Ironwood when he went to do sabotaging tech things to Amity). And he’s not been around for most major battles (like Haven) rather than deliberately sitting them out for unestablished reasons. The Watts vs. Ironwood fight is one of the best we’ve gotten in years and I think that’s partly due to how they’re balanced. Both possess aura that allow them to accomplish incredible, physical feats. (Skinniness/bulk means nothing in a world where magic is the linchpin of all battles. Ruby is a "twig" too.) Both—we thought at the time—lacked a semblance. Both use guns for a long-range fight. And though Ironwood undoubtably has more experience, what with being a huntsmen and general, Watts levels that playing field by using technology to his advantage: manipulating the tower and, eventually, catching him in a trap. Honestly, this fight makes the most sense since Qrow had to step in and help RNJR against Tyrian!

Putting aside that double standard though—which just exists to dismiss any unwanted analysis of Ironwood: don’t think about the show and criticize it, but if you do “read into” things the only possible conclusion here is that he’s incompetent—I’m always surprised that fans don’t get that we should have both power levels and fights that accomplish something for the story. This is a battle webseries. If there’s no sense of who is stronger than who and how we measure that, then there’s no growth for the characters to undergo and no stakes for us to get invested in. What if I went, “In Volume 9 Cardin somehow shows up and single-handedly kicks Ruby’s ass”? If the reaction to that is disbelief to any extent—but Ruby is a prodigy! Cardin was a joke character not meant to be very strong! He couldn’t land a hit on Pyrrha! He hasn’t spent the last five volumes honing his skills through deadly combat!—then congrats, you’re invested in RWBY’s power levels and are actively looking for details to support your understanding of it. No fan actually wants a fighting show without some understanding of who is stronger than who and why that’s the case. How detailed an understanding each fan will want varies (a lot), but without some kind of framework, it’s just a senseless free-for-all.

However, a good power level system shouldn’t limit the author’s ability to use fights for a greater purpose in the story, it just requires utilizing aspects of a fight outside of that power. There are things like luck. Mistakes. Strategy. Priorities other than winning, etc. How many times has Goku, clearly the strongest person on the battlefield, been (temporarily) defeated by his overly trusting nature? Or, in one memorable case, a heart condition? How many times has he defeated other, stronger opponents through one particularly good idea—such as holding Raditz so Piccolo can blast through both of them? Moments like these are compelling because they tell us something about the character’s personality (trusting), their priorities (backs down now that a friend is threatened), or what they’re willing to sacrifice (their life). With a bit of thought and creativity, any weaker character should be able to beat a stronger opponent, especially in a team-based show. RWBY has the general idea in places… just not the execution. Yang’s recent fall remains the easiest example. Having her love for Ruby resulting in a “fatal” blow is the exact kind of situation I’m talking about, it’s just that the episode speed-rushed that conclusion and tried to explain too much with a single sword slash. If Yang had been allowed to fight for a long time, if we saw her aura get low/break, if she was still awake when she fell, if all her teammates tried to help her, but a series of events prevented her from getting to safety… that moment would have been great. The author just needs to put in the work to make that unexpected win or loss believable.

Funnily enough, I think Volumes 7-8 did the best work here in regards to Ironwood. I believe that a general and member of Ozpin’s inner circle is skilled enough to personally join the Battle for Beacon. I believe that he and Watts were fairly even until Watts springs a trap and I likewise believe that someone as determined as Ironwood could pull his arm out to win. I believe that when it’s five on one, even a fighter of his skill will, likely, lose if the fight is drawn out and he fails to come up with a quick-fix way to win. And I believe that he could go toe-to-toe with Winter up until she’s imbued with magical powers that result in a K.O. There are details that are lacking at times—giving Ironwood that ridiculous gun, being inconsistent about exactly how powerful Maidens are compared to average fighters—but on the whole his fights make sense in a way many others in RWBY don’t nowadays. Which is just one reason why many fans are frustrated. There was so much good attached to Ironwood’s character. I don’t mean morally good, I mean good writing: a complex personality, difficult decisions, cool combat, fights that felt fair and earned and exciting in their believability. Tossing all that away for the nonsense we got later—Ironwood randomly wants to bomb people now, Ironwood has a clunky gun-gun that makes his combat look stupid, etc.—is, in some ways, worse than just getting bad content from the get-go.

RWBY needs a clear hierarchy of power and the creativity to make outcomes surprising anyway. It also needs the willingness to stick to what its established, rather than tossing it away in the name of a new goal. Ironwood is a larger, non-combat example of what you've referenced, anon. The writers wanted to accomplish a secondary villain... so they got rid of all the work they'd done with his character to get that, while simultaneously failing to do new work to explain this unexpected change. It's the "Yang taking a deadly blow for Ruby is a great idea, but how it was done isn't believable" expanded to an entire volume. And now we're left with many fans who are eager to buy into the message RWBY landed on—Ironwood is irredeemably evil and that's all there is to say on the matter—resulting in this intense desire to reframe everything he's ever done as evidence for that conclusion. Nothing from past volumes is allowed to be nuanced, heroic, or even just cool anymore. Ironwood had one of the best fights in recent years? Nah, now that he's a bad guy that fight is actually just evidence of how incompetent he is. Power levels don't matter when their existence would lead to a critique someone doesn't want to hear; they definitely exist when it makes characters a fan doesn't like look bad. A very versatile system!

[mianavs]

Gezellig

You were the warmth that only another person could give

Kenma x f!reader

a/n: kenma is definitely my comfort character~

wc: 1.8k

It started with an apple pie recipe.

Kenma was editing his latest play-through video for a new video game when the craving for his favorite food creeped up on him again. He considered going to the nearby bakery that sold decent mini apple pies but a glance at the clock on his computer put an end to that idea—it was midnight and the bakery had been closed for three hours.

Normally Kenma would have settled for the day old pastry on his kitchen table but the craving for apple pie had plagued him for a while now. The reason? His neighbor had baked one a couple days ago and Kenma couldn’t stop thinking about the delicious aroma that had seeped through the walls into his unit.

A hasty thought crossed Kenma’s mind and he got up from his gaming chair to wander into the kitchen. He scanned the counters until his eyes landed on the two large apples Kuroo dropped off along with other groceries Kenma let spoil more often than not. The presence of the main ingredient spurred his impulses and Kenma fell back onto his couch as he scrolled through YouTube for an easy apple pie recipe. His perceptive eyes were immediately drawn to the golden crust of the pie on your thumbnail and his fingers clicked on your video without a second thought.

In the end, Kenma never got to making the apple pie and instead binge-watched every video on your ASMR cooking channel until he passed out at five in the morning.

Kenma knew he was obsessed when he turned on the notification bell on your channel. He loved the simplicity of your videos. There wasn’t any cheesy background music or obnoxious text. Your videos were intimate and comforting with the natural sounds of your cooking or baking and the high-quality recordings. More often than not, Kenma found himself unwinding to your content after a stressful meeting with the board members or a difficult gaming session. In fact, the more he watched your videos the more he found himself closing his eyes and imagining himself in your kitchen listening to the sizzling of the sautéing vegetables or the whir of your mixer combining the ingredients of a cake. It wasn’t necessarily hard to do since the layout of your kitchen was very similar to his own.

He should have found it suspicious when his neighbor’s cooking seemed to predict the video you would upload next but Kenma wasn’t one to dwell on unnecessary things like that. So when his neighbor cooked a delicious smelling recipe, Kenma would crave it the next day and ordered it to eat while he watched your nimble hands cook a similar dish.

In the two years Kenma had lived in his unit, he’d never crossed paths with his foodie neighbor. Although considering his line of work, Kenma supposed it wasn’t too surprising. He spent most of his time in his office and only when out when necessary. So when his doorbell rang and it wasn’t Kuroo with groceries or takeout but a young woman with a sheepish look on her face, Kenma froze like a deer in headlights.

“Hi! Umm…I’m your neighbor,” she introduced herself and awkwardly held up a small bowl. “Do you have some salt I can borrow?”

“Uh…yeah, come in.” Kenma replied stepping aside to let her in. There was a softness about her demeaner that drew him in and it wasn’t until her eyes blinked at him in confusion that he realized he’d been staring.

“T-this way.”

As Kenma led his neighbor to the kitchen he wracked his brain for the location of the salt container Kuroo had bought for him to use despite never having cooked a meal in his life. It took a couple of tries flipping through cupboards before he found the large salt container and handed it to his neighbor.

“Thanks!” She accepted it and began pouring some into her bowl. “Y’know your kitchen is a lot like mine but way cleaner!”

“I don’t really use it,” Kenma admitted. “I find it kind of intimidating…cooking.”

“It is at first but it gets easier the more you do it.” She smiled as she handed the salt back to Kenma and he couldn’t help but admire the way her entire face seemed to smile. Her eyes crinkled into crescent moons while the apples of her cheeks framed her gummy smile endearingly.

“I guess that applies to a lot of things.”

“Yes, it really does! I’m a firm believer in practice makes perfect.”

With that she thanked Kenma profusely and apologized for the intrusion before slipping on her shoes and walking out the door. While it may have only been a few minutes, the impression she left on Kenma lasted much longer. He went outside more just so he could run into his nice neighbor who would always strike up a conversation with him about anything. And while he was normally not one for small talk, it never felt forced around her. She had a knack for making even the dullest subject a compelling topic and Kenma quickly looked forward to those moments outside their apartment complex, in front of the convenience store, or outside her unit.

But even those short conversations Kenma has with his neighbor reveal very little about her. So when Kenma gets a notification from your channel and opens YouTube, he drops his phone when your thumbnail picture isn’t food but rather his neighbor that he’d grown fond of. Kenma’s eyes dart to your shared wall as he comes to terms with the fact that his favorite content creator and his pretty neighbor are the same person. It takes a couple of minutes for the initial shock to pass and another twenty minutes for him to play the video in the comfort of his office and with his headset on.

You’re all smiles as you announce a giveaway to celebrate one-hundred thousand subscribers. You introduce each of the five prizes and explain each one in detail. They’re all cooking tools from one of your sponsors that Kenma recognizes from your previous videos. When you’re describing the rules to enter, the similarities between your apartment and his are glaringly obvious now and Kenma can only shake his head in disbelief. The video ends too quickly so he watches it another ten times almost convincing himself that it’s to understand the rules of the giveaway and consider each of the products despite knowing he’d never actually enter.

A week after your giveaway video, Kuroo comes over with food and drinks after a business trip. A meal and a couple of beers later, Kenma opens up to Kuroo about you and the fact that you’re not only his favorite YouTuber but his neighbor as well. The liquid courage spurs him on and Kenma talks about your gorgeous smile, soft-looking hair, and your laugh that goes from a giggle to a cackle within a matter of seconds. Always the observant friend, Kuroo notices the persistent smile on Kenma’s face as he goes on about you and urges his best friend to ask you out on a date. The thought of spending hours with you is enough to get his heart racing but his insecurities never fail to rear their ugly heads and Kenma dismisses the idea as quickly as it comes up.

Kenma drinks even more to drown his insecurities and fantasies of you while Kuroo drinks with him knowing it’s best to support him quietly like this. When the last drop of alcohol is consumed, the two friends are completely drunk and Kuroo crashes in the guest room while Kenma stumbles to his room and collapses on his bed as the world spins around him.

Your image comes to mind but it’s too hazy for Kenma’s liking so he pulls up your giveaway video and watches it for the hundredth time. You’re so happy about your channel’s milestone that Kenma can’t help but smile like a fool as you thank your subscribers profusely. It’s with lowered inhibitions that Kenma is able to scroll to the comment section and write out how much your channel means to him.

The sound of multiple notifications stirs Kenma awake to a terrible hangover. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and focuses on his blindingly bright screen to see what the fuss is about. There’s a message from his publicist asking if he’s okay but before Kenma can reply he gets a notification from your channel; however, it isn’t the typical one that lets him know you’ve uploaded a video. The notification is a heart reaction to a comment and Kenma’s heart is in his mouth as his shaky finger taps on your giveaway video.

He doesn’t have to scroll far to find his comment because it’s the first one with ten thousand likes and three hundred comments to boot. Completely mortified, Kenma reads through the comments that have a wide range of reactions. Some gush about how cute it is for Kodzuken to fanboy over your channel while others express their disappointment that their favorite gamer actually likes cooking ASMR. While they are unnerving, it isn’t the comments that worry Kenma but the little red heart you’d left on his comment.

While he doubts you knew who he was before, this comment and the crazy feedback will definitely pique your interest enough to look him up and find out who he really is. Scared of facing you, Kenma holes himself up in his apartment. To get you out of his mind, he buries himself in work and video game streams and turns off the notifications for your channel.

After a week of not hearing anything from you, Kenma thinks he’s in the clear until one evening he opens his door expecting his takeout only to find you.

You’re a sight for sore eyes and Kenma’s heart hammers in his chest as your eyes soften and you break into a smile. The aroma of cinnamon and apples wafts up to his nostrils and you raise your mitted hands to reveal the same pie that had drawn him to you in the first place.

“Your fans mentioned you like apple pie,” you explain with a chuckle. “And I still owe you for the salt.”

“My…fans?” Kenma asks, still stunned you’re talking to him despite the comment fiasco.

“Yeah, you see I needed a reason to visit my neighbor and ask him out. Luckily, he’s a famous streamer with lots of fans.” Your confidence almost hides flush on your cheeks that deepens the longer Kenma stares at you in shock.

“…Unless you don’t want to go out-“

“I do!” Kenma blurts out. “More than anything.”

Your entire face breaks into a smile. “Well then how about a pie date?”

With a stomach full of butterflies, Kenma lets you into his apartment for the second time only this time he knows what he feels for you and is comforted by the fact that you feel the same way.

[ohnobjyx]

I've seen so many sol0 fans or just people that have watched cql and cares for the cast, talking about how they feel that bjyx is something one sided and unrequited. some comments about how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it. Sometimes I do think xz is more reserved and seems to try to "tame" yb to be more discreet about their, whatever it is, thing but i don't particularly think he is cold? What do you think?

I know it may sound odd but is there some analysis about Xiao feelings towards Yibo? I mean this guy is head over heels for him, no doubt about that but I don’t really feel the same from Xiao? I mean I could be wrong since I’m new there and didn’t read a lot of analysis so if you have some can you link them please? Thank you! And I don’t ask this in a « wrong » way like I genuinely feel like there’s something but I don’t see the same feelings towards each other. Again, I could be wrong! 

Hi, anons. These asks has been sitting for the longest time in my inbox, so I decided to tackle them today (still writing two days later, I’ve desisted on creating a more organized post and I’m just dumping my thoughts here this time).

(It’s also that I’m frustrated about this, because these are two of the most polite ones, but I’ve also received others less well worded ones, that basically imply that there’s nothing from gg).

For the anon asking for some analysis, I’ll leave a link here to a post that basically sums up my own thoughts.

Disclaimer: as always, don’t take bjyx seriously. Pure speculation here.

Long post.

Before I start, I want to say that I shouldn’t be the one to convince you to anything. It’s never my intention to impart the “universal truth” or to be patronising. If any of you really feels that there’s nothing from gg, no matter what I say, you won’t be convinced by my post alone. And it’s alright to agree to disagree. Just keep it in mind.

I feel that what anons describe it’s something that often happens to new bxg. Dd’s so obvious, so painfully obvious that in comparison, gg is much more “discreet” (well, we had to learn to read Lan Wangji’s expressions, didn’t we? The same happens with gg’s gestures). I don’t agree with the idea of dismissing someone’s love just because they aren’t as obvious and as telling as their partner at first glance (gg’s songs and drawings aren’t as straightforward, but they are there for those who care to listen and see).

From my pov, I think it’s very very probable that they are together. So, that works both ways for me. I don’t think dd’s love unrequited. They take care of each other in ways that speak of a high level of trust, intimacy and chemistry (yes, I initially wrote that post for these asks). I’ve talked about subtle ways to display your love, because when you love someone it’s difficult to hide it, and gg has a hard time trying to hide for the cameras.

(I’m still thinking of Happy Camp, when dd hurt his neck with the necklace... gg’s reaction wasn’t controlled in the slightest, and the combination of worry and anger would be a interesting combo if gg indeed wasn’t anything to dd or if he hadn’t gifted him the necklace).

Gg often has a hard time controlling his reactions when dd is involved. He’s much more natural, a lot closer to how he really is instead of his very polite and soft public persona. He get a glimpse of him in the bts (I suppose they never expected CQL to be so popular, and didn’t thought that the bts would be so watched a year afterwards), and comparing how he is in the bts with dd to how he usually is in other interviews and events with other people is a very interesting exercise.

It’s true that gg in the interviews seemed to try to hold back dd, to the point that they both lied sometimes in the interviews... the effect they caused was contrary to what they wanted. Definitely. Because they tended to forget what they had lied about, and the “plot” had holes everywhere. Like gg reacting surprised to the possibility of dd starting a fashion brand. Twice. In the same day. Or the eggplant/carrots thing. Or the “I didn’t know you slept with the lights on, but I’m aware of your sleeping pattern” thing. Please note that these three plot holes were caused by gg (in the second case, I’m refering to carrots ofc).

About what the first anon says of “how xz (in the later fan meetings) is kinda just patiently indulging yb but clearly was not v happy about it”. It’s one thing that by then they’d have noticed that their cp had attracted a whole lot more attention that they had ever expected it to and a whole another thing to “indulge” someone (as if only dd wanted it and gg had nothing to say about it) and “not be very happy about it”. Gg might have tried, but even he couldn’t completely erase all of the little moments directed at dd (and you have to take into account that gg was actually sick in the last fan meeting in Nanjing, that’s bound to affect his mood too).

(There’s no one else when they look at each other. No wonder Wen Ning achieved such a third wheel look when they were filming the boat scene, I suppose it’s taken from real life).

How gg looks at dd and only smirks when dd looks up... well, gg still makes his best effort at being discreet...

And dd in this moment... well, what can one do when a man like gg looks at you like that? (dd.exe has stopped working. Please restart).

Source of the gifs: 仙娱

Last but not least, I’d like to talk a little about W/ibo Night, the main source of many people’s doubts. I’ve seen many analysis, from “poor puppy dd following gg around” (that’s... bs) to some better analysis that deserve to be taken into account.

W/ibo Night is an event organized by a state controlled social media platform. It’s one of the most observed events of the years, with potential future employers and coworkers, apart from the government, so it’s not just them, but everyone is very serious and controlled in their actions.

They obviously had agreed beforehand on how to behave in this one. While dd is very serious, he doesn’t seem angry or sad that gg isn’t looking his way. However, they both can’t help but look in each other’s direction (gg’s more discreet, but pay attention and you’ll see him side glancing at dd at least three times on stage) and the way dd turns just so he can have a look at gg is... 🤦

They tried so hard that it ended up getting the effect they wanted to avoid: when everybody else was greeting each other (friendly hadshakes, patting their backs, etc.) these two just stood there, a little awkwardly. It became obvious to most people that they were acting as if they were strangers.

I think (speculation here) that while they had agreed to act as if they didn’t know each other, gg was... off that night. His eyes were very bright (as if teary, so not in a good way) and his smiles were tense, so I’d say in a bad mood or maybe he was feeling under the weather. I think dd was worried, so that’s why he kept glancing at him (I’ve read about the rumours of why gg was like that, but I tend to dismiss them if there’s no proof).

For someone as polite as gg, to walk so obviously in front of dd when they were getting on stage (c-culture here: the one who walks in front has more seniority/authority, so gg always lets the other people walk in front of him as a sign of politeness and respect), speaks of a familiarity that exceeds that of coworkers. Dd’s actions need no more words: waiting for gg and letting him walk in front comes naturally to him.

Choosing fans (though at first, dd just looks at gg choose his). I don’t know if you remember, but gg chose “I can do it” and dd chose “I have it difficult” (as a way of saying “I can’t”). I think it was entirely a coincidence, because dd was looking at his gg choosing his fan, the one he had wanted at first was taken by another person, so he chose this one as “I couldn’t take the fan I wanted” and “it’s difficult for me to choose”.

However, look at the happy and surprised smile from gg when he notices that his fan and dd’s make a pair (similar to “yes” and “no”, gg had filmed an ad for the event in which he linked this two exact phrases as opposites). A sad spoiler: this is the only time he truly, spontaneously smiles at the event (and notice how dd’s face inmediately mirrors gg’s and how he tries to rein it in a second later). 

I couldn’t find a video, but just before leaving the stage, dd looks at gg again and shakes his fan. Without a single word, gg understands that dd is asking from where to leave the stage, and makes the slightest movement with his fan to point the way. I assure you, this level of 默契 (mo qi) is difficult to find even in established long time relationships.

Once they are seated, gg leaves for a second and tells dd “I’m leaving” and dd answers “okay”. There’d be no need for this interaction unless they’re still friends/couple.

This one broke my heart a little: dd had been sitting on a plastic bottle the whole time. Usually gg clears his seat when dd comes (Nanjing fan meeting, Tencent awards night), probably because he has noticed that dd doesn’t care that he’s sitting on things. Dd left earlier the event because of his schedule, and once gg came back from getting his w/ibo king award, he sits on dd’s seat. And notices the water bottle under him. Even his poker face can’t hide the sad fondness “aiyo this boy...”

Some say he sat in the seat next to dd’s, but there’s a video I can’t seem to find (the despair is real) of gg sitting on the water bottle, so it’s indeed dd’s seat.

Also, you may try to think this from your own perspective: when and why would you sit in another person’s seat in an event as important as this one? If I try to answer this from my pov, I’d say that first I’d need to know that that person wouldn’t mind me sitting there and/or knowing that this person isn’t going to come back to the event. In both cases, it requires communication and trust between these two people. Gg had to know that dd was leaving first (and why would dd tell gg if not because they chat about their work schedules?) and that dd wouldn’t mind once the fancams made it to social media. This is what I think, at least.

Okay, so here ends my post. I just exposed some of my thoughts on why I think yizhan is NOT one sided or unrequited. But of course, you’re allowed to disagree with me, anons, since we are all in the speculation ground here. Nonetheless, note that this is a yizhan/bjyx blog, which implies (at least for me) that there are feelings from both sides, so I may not interact further with one-sided yizhan/bjyx asks.

(BTW, I found a very complete post of moments where yizhan isn’t one sided here, so I decided not to elaborate on those moments in this post).

[corpsentry]

allahrakhii (dot) tumblr (dot) com/post/148596180152/honestly-the-depths-of-ignorance-of-white-people

this is a really good post for those who want to learn more about the harmful portrayal of brown women in the legend of zelda series. theres a bunch of helpful links that direct to articles throughout the post as well. if you scroll through a bit youll find the section that covers why the gerudo outfit is racist.

i would appreciate if you post this and not simply brush it aside! this message isnt intended to be hostile or offensive, but rather it is an opportunity for learning and discussion. thank you.

i find the insinuation that i might brush this aside rather ominous anon! first of all, thank you for sharing this post. as someone vaguely from southeast asia i uncovered another facet of the fuckcluster of internalized racism in my system while reading it and will be thinking about it for a while to come. the post is well-written and thoughtfully phrased, plus op provides links to several other resources that i’ll be checking out in my free time too so i’d recommend anyone passing by here give it a read. i also want to apologize for responding to the earlier ask (now deleted) where op was like ‘how is the gerudo outfit racist’ and i was like ‘fuck all if i know’. i was talking out of my ass and failed to consider alternate perspectives. i retract that statement and replace it with this much longer and much more eloquent one.

now everything from here on is frankly quite unrelated to this ask so to the person who sent it please feel free to stop reading right here right now from high school musical as i want to talk about the previous anon message i received and some general stuff regarding fandom and none of that has anything to do with you (you are lovely and the rest of the world is a shithole).

i don’t know if the original anon who sent the ‘i like your art but the gerudo outfit racist :(’ is gonna see this but let’s take a moment to unpack it. i’m not quite sure what anon was going for with this ask. what did they want from me? did they want me to apologize for drawing and posting it? did they want me to delete the post? did they expect me to say oh thank you so much!!! sorry about the racism xd or did they want me to call up shigeru miyamoto and be like ‘hey dude your shit’s racist’ and then take down the entire nintendo corporation in one fell swoop like i was somehow implicated in either the development process or the game by pure merit of drawing fanart of it(????). this was the shit running through my head when i woke up at 6 am this morning because jetlag and opened tumblr and there was this Person sitting there trying to :( me. what’s up with the :(. why are you :(. what do you want from me.

this is where the second anon above comes in. relative to this ask, if the first anon had so much as dropped one (1) link to one (1) post explaining how the outfit might be racist (and taken out the :(, which is lame) then instead of being like ‘which reaction image should i use for this’ i would’ve been like ‘oh here’s something i didn’t know about the world and here’s how i can learn more’. ‘your art great but this racist u___u’ reads like someone trying to guilt-trip someone for shits and giggles. a B grade on a paper is useless unless your prof tells you where you went wrong and before anyone Calls Me Out i’m going to acknowledge that there is a broader issue with marginalized groups having to bear the burden of ‘explaining themselves’ to privileged people who aren’t willing to go and seek information on their own, but let’s just look at this ask for a moment.

what the fuck is this??? what am i even supposed to do with a statement that not only tells me nothing but also seems to have no clear purpose? i am sitting here drawing video game fanart in a college dorm in pennsylvania and i know like 3 things about western media because i don’t like live-action film. if you want to have a conversation please give me something to work with instead of trying to sound sad in my askbox. i can’t turn your :( into a :) because i have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about because i am not god (yet) (although i am trying to).

but let’s talk bigger. racist stereotypes are a huge fucking problem in everything the ideological west gets its hands on. i promise you i know this because i grew up in singapore where the racism was directed towards everyone including ourselves because sir dickbag raffles stuck a flag in the ground and then ruined everything. i can see how nintendo has replicated those racist stereotypes, especially given that east asian countries generally have a long history of racism towards black and brown people. singapore fucks with it too because we’re majority chinese-singaporean and majority lighter-skinned (relatively speaking). op makes a lot of excellent points. perpetuating stereotypes in popular media serves to reinforce racist ideas and further entrench discriminatory beliefs. it’s a chicken egg chicken egg thing. people are socialized into racist beliefs. they create media with racist depictions. young people consume said media and are socialized into racist beliefs. and so on. egg chicken egg chicken.

so, question: where does fanwork figure into all of this? is that 5k ganlink (is this the ship name lol idk if it’s wrong feel free to take me out with a bazooka) e-rated smutfic the egg or the chicken? who is it socializing? who’s writing it? what kind of audience is it reaching? and, more broadly speaking, what is fandom here for, and what does fandom want to achieve?

here we’re going to take a huge detour into another very popular disco horse (at least on twitter i have fuckall clue what’s going on on tumblr at all times) of the present times: the wmulti level wmarketing (wlw) discussion. it is statistically true that there are far less f/f fics on ao3 than m/m fics and f/m fics. this clearly reflects something about fandom’s habits, but the floor is divided. in fact, the floor is on fucking fire all the time. several arguments have been made over the years, of which 1) media creates less-nuanced female characters which makes them harder to connect to (mass media’s fault) and 2) everyone is a gay fetishizer (the individual’s fault) are, arguably, the most popular.

as a head ass philosophy student i’m going to pick the option no one likes and say that i think it’s a combination of all of these factors. and i’m going to step out further and say that people are so inseparable from our communities and societies that it’s impossible to tell where external influence ends and personal preference begins. what this means, more simply, is i think that both individual arguments are insufficient. media is fucking complicated and so are people so imagine when you put all of this shit together on one webpage and then you light a match. tell me, bethany, can you truly say that you like twinkies because You Like Twinkies or was it that advertisement you saw at the bus stop every day for eight years that finally got to you? are you trying to rebel against society’s fear of fatness? are you depressed? do you just like sweet things, and anyway, can anyone “just like” something?

now let’s transplant this issue of societal/self influence (a fandom friendly version of the nature/nurture argument, if you will) onto fandom. so okay, there aren’t a lot of f/f fics. what do?

some popular options i’ve seen are: 1) make angry posts/tweets about how everyone sleeps on f/f relationships in fandom and we’re all secretly lesbophobic 2) call everyone a gay fetishizer 3) write f/f fic

and so here is the other (other? i don’t remember how many problems i’ve listed lol i’m trying here guys) problem: fandom doesn’t have a single cohesive goal. like people don’t come to fandom and then sign a 5 page contract at the end of which is the company vision. everyone comes here to do their own shit. some people use fandom as a means of escape. some people are trying to spread a message (like the evangelists) or educate the youth. some people fuck around and find out.

concept: if the goal of fandom was social activism, then the argument could be made that We Should Write More f/f fics. that make sense to you? because there’s something we’re all striving towards, we can agree that we have an obligation to our community to do something. but the goal of fandom isn’t social activism, is it? maybe it is for you. but it isn’t for everyone here including the 14 year old kid in chinese orchestra and the 56 year old who just wants to read some good werewolf smut. and because we’re all different people who do different things and fandom is not and cannot be your entire life, we can’t make these prescriptive statements. we can’t tell people what to do. ‘people should write more f/f fics because there are very few right now’ that is a valid statement and observation. now will you write those fics? because you’re the only person whose fandom life you can control. because the point of fandom is we’re away from the rules and regulations of Society. because when people are told they can do what they want they will do what they want and if you tell them to do something else, it’s hard to fault them for not taking kindly to it. i’ve written 5k character studies. it’s work. not everyone wants to do that work. that’s why i do it.

detour end and now we return to the chicken egg problem. in my opinion, the shit we create in fandom isn’t the chicken or the egg. it’s the onsen egg that’s been placed on top of your ramen. it’s a product of several complex societal processes, but now it’s here you and maybe the dude sitting across from you are the only ones, by and large, that it’s going to affect. this onsen egg isn’t for the children of the world (broadcast via disney+). this onsen egg isn’t for the politicians who’ll decide on the policy of your country for the next hundred years. they’re not even going to see it because it’s a fucking onsen egg now and no one has taste anymore these days except for yourself, which is why this onsen egg is just for you. put in clearer terms, i agree with op that people in fandom often replicate societal bias in their work (people are copy machines, bethany), but i don’t think most fanfiction has the power to influence society the way that popular media can (see: marvel movies, i dunno, fucking, like, austin powers?), and to critique it with the same mindset we use to critique tony stark is to say that we earnestly think every 15k smutfic is going to be read by millions of people of all ages from across the world. which is not the case. ao3 has a thing you have to click if you’re not logged in you know where you have to agree that you’re 18 or older o read adult stuff. if you lie about that that’s your own goddamn problem. they asked.

and now, part 2, we come around to several interesting points made in the post. op mentioned that ganon is often portrayed as hypersexual (which is fascinating to me i don’t read e rated fic I See What Zelda Fandom Is Doing) or just fucks a lot in general. since i don’t go here i will take op’s word and roll with it, but i have my own word to add: so ganon fucks- what do we do? do we tell people to stop writing fics where ganon fucks? do we force them? do we tell people to write more gen rated character studies (please join me i sit here alone and i (pensive homo stare))?

we could. but we can’t make them. and we also can’t tell them where their ideas are coming from. i don’t, like, read a lot of smutfic but i sure know that shit exists because half my friends are horny as shit and can we all agree that fandom as a whole is just super fucking horny. like yes if ganon as a whole is portrayed more often in sexual situations than the other characters in the franchise, it’s a good and fair observation that Something’s Up Here. but can we really point to individual authors? the premises mentioned in the post by op are premises i’ve seen for haikyuu fanfiction. multiple times. tens of hundreds of times. what if someone’s just really fucking horny? what if they’re replicating racist ideas taught to them by mass media? can we tell? can THEY tell?

the answer is no because humans are black boxes that can’t be opened up even if we drop into the pacific ocean and instead screech helplessly at walls all our lives. the answer is these are complex issues and i don’t think prescriptive ‘Never Write Sexy Ganon’ statements or pointing fingers at random 30 year old smutfic authors will improve the situation. the answer, or at least my answer, is that we should consume media with a critical eye and be aware of potential biases perpetuated by the authors/creators, but striving towards ideological purity is impossible on principle (i promise you everyone on this planet is problematic in some way or another because this purity thing from christianity is fucking lame and also completely fake) and so we should all give that up. my personal answer is i’ve learned a lot about stereotypes about middle eastern and south asian people and i’ll take all this info with me moving forward, but i honestly and earnestly do not think me drawing link and zelda in dumbass princess jasmine outfits is going to directly correlate with an increase in racism as observed in the island city-state of singapore. i am aware now. that’s a good thing. but just like how the h*rry potter fandom has completely detached itself from its horrible creator and now fucks around in its own space doing its own thing, i think it’s fully possible to engage with flawed media because, surprise surprise, all the media in the world is flawed.

[ajmonte]

“On a serious note, it kinda sucks that most people think of me only as a sexual object online and don’t really care whatever else I do ot put out”

Gurl, what else are they supposed to like you for? Reaction videos?!? Yes because what’s more entertaining than going on YouTube to watch other people, watch other people……..

Ever notice how sexy ass people like Chris Evans, Maluma, Zendaya, etc are not only revered for their looks but they still sell out good movies and records? Maybe it’s because sexy isn’t the only thing they put out worth consuming lol. You wanna be taken seriously, put out something more creative and interesting than just you watching YouTube and “reacting”. And if you don’t have the talent to do anything other than be hot, lean into it and stop whingeing. There’s a reason that your shirtless pics get more likes on one single IG post than all the views on your YouTube combined. Because your other content sucks. You’re just hot. So figure out a way to make money. If you didn’t actually enjoy the validation then you wouldn’t have two different Instagram pages half filled with shirtless photos.

Jesus Christ you YouTubers are insufferable.

Yikes. Tell me how you really feel 😅

Maybe try to fix your tone because this came off more of a hate message than a critique, unless that was your goal. Then cudos?

This reply clearly shows that you don’t really watch my videos or follow me long enough to gauge what kind of person I am. I don’t owe anyone an explanation nor was I looking for validation. I merely expressed how I was feeling based on how people interact with me online when I said what I said on that “On a serious note..” message. I’m allowed to do that right? Or am I violating some type of internet etiquette guideline?

With that said, I do agree that I need to put out more “interesting” content and I need to work harder to achieve more success in what I’m trying to pursue. I disagree with you basically saying I don’t have any other talents. I put a lot effort into my videos and images but I don’t expect someone who is not an artist or a digital creator to understand.

You are more than welcome to block and unfollow me here or any other social media platform. You are in charge on the content you choose to consume. I’m not sure why you have this much hostility towards someone you barely know, writing this think piece of a message anonymously but I hope you find some type of peace.

Btw, I’m flattered you’re comparing me to celebrities with a lot of resources and huge support behind while it’s literally just me creating my own content. Also, even thought I make videos on YouTube, I never considered myself as a “YouTuber” since I don’t have the following yet so thank you for that 🙌🏽

[miraculouscontent]

I just saw Felix, I am enraged beyond belief, and right now, I want someone to tear this episode and Astruc a new one. And who better than the Salt Fairy?

s-sALT FAIRY?? JDNGKFDG

WELL, WHO AM I TO DENY SUCH A REQUEST?

[Vanilla Graham Crackers]

So, I totally understand the idea that making new models is hard and it’s best to cut corners where one can, but that should only be done if it can be used in a way that doesn’t - you know - reuse two important character models and add almost nothing new to them.

To start off, you have Amelie, Emilie’s twin sister who they obviously reused Emilie’s model for.

Then you have Felix, whose mother’s genes must’ve kicked the tar out of his father’s genes (and the same must’ve happened to Adrien unless Gabriel’s model is reused for Felix’s father’s too if we ever get a flashback/picture but we’re not getting into that) considering that Felix looks like Adrien’s twin rather than Adrien’s cousin (if they pull some sort of thing about Felix actually being Adrien’s twin just as some sort of cheap “gotcha,” I swear–though I doubt it because Amelie has a line about them looking “just like twins” which would be strange for someone who would’ve already known they were twins unless she doesn’t know that they’re twins either because some weird things happened and–I’m getting off-topic…).

Already, these are both new characters who are being introduced in this episode that are edited versions of previous models we’ve seen on the show.

The thing is that I don’t care much if the models are reused, but they should at least have facial structures that look different enough to make them their own characters. At least reverse Amelie’s hair, gosh darn it.

Even Felix, like–I don’t even think any of the characters would find it odd if the “Adrien” in the video had different cheekbones or a different jawline. Felix could even have blue eyes but edit the video to make his eyes green (and then make an excuse as to why his eyes are blue when the villains show up). The Adrien model could be reused but still adjusted so he at least has a different freaking eye style, since those are usually the big thing that gives away the feeling of, “oh, the model is just reused.”

I mean, it makes sense for Felix’s name to be in the title of the episode, but that’s only because he actually got different hair and a different outfit, since even the people who get akumatized in this episode are reused.

Lady Wifi, who’s been seen multiple times in Season 1 and 3 now.

Princess Fragrance, who’s been used the least out of everyone else but has still been seen multiple times (counting scarlet edition Princess Fragrance).

And Reflekta, who’s been used multiple times even if you’re only counting Season 3. Reflekta even makes the least sense out of all the characters since she’s a bad combination with the others. Dark Cupid would’ve even been a better pick since Lady Wifi could freeze someone and then either Dark Cupid could get a clear shot or Princess Fragrance could force them to inhale her perfume.

They don’t even have a proper unique theme to them, like a design that they all share to show that they’re a team. It’s just a repeat of their past akuma forms except Lady Wifi doesn’t have to worry about being defeated in the same way as before I guess (not that they try it anyway)? I don’t question Alya being the only one to get an upgrade because the tablet is hers, but when we’ve already had an episode where a tablet was used as a “hey akuma, aim here” object, and the people who held it combined in that one because they had a shared goal, only to have this one be different and just turn them into separate forms?

Yeaaaah, no, that’s weird. That’s just weird. It’d be one thing if they were sure that there were two Adrien around and they needed to be separated so they could cover multiple people, but they’re not aware that Felix is around nor that he disguised himself as Adrien, requiring them to cover multiple grounds (and even then, that doesn’t need three of them).

I’ll say again that I don’t mind repeat akuma, but it has to make sense. Stormy Weather 2 and Gamer 2.0 made sense to come back even though I didn’t like their episodes or the messages behind them, but Reflektdoll and the Trio of Punishers here?

No, just–no.

(this is also once again keeping the “girl squad” quota in place which everyone knows I dislike; I just want the boys to be more involved sometimes and not have anyone’s involvement be based on what gender they are)

(also also, Ladybug defeating all of them in a few seconds demonstrates how incompetent they are as a team; defeating Nathalie is not a high bar for efficient villainry)

So, already with that, the episode is bland and doesn’t provide anything interesting; even Felix disguises himself as Adrien perfectly later on, so the model that was edited in any sort of significant way changes back to its oRinGaL fOrM partway through the episode just for the like, two viewers who couldn’t tell that he’s a duplicate of Adrien structurally.

Heck, and even once Felix does disguise himself as Adrien, he’s still making very “Adrien” faces. The camera switching from Adrien to Felix (disguised as Adrien) when the villains show up is a perfect example.

Same face, same pose. It’s like they’re the same person at times (and no, I don’t believe that Felix is that good of an actor when he just got jumped by three teenage girls in outlandish clothing who came out of the phone in his hands).

There’s also the plot with Gabriel and the twin rings. Firstly, the opening is basically the one from “Chat Blanc” with the ring detail added. I remember seeing “Chat Blanc” and then being weirded out when “Felix” hit like, “Wait, is this–?”

Even disregarding that, there’s a certain awkwardness to Gabriel’s behavior. Of course, we all know that Emilie is actually alive and (un)well, so Gabriel being upset with Adrien isn’t entirely wrong (since, to Gabriel, it sounds like his son is supporting him having an affair), but for Gabriel to lash out in an almost childish manner when we’ve seen Gabriel hold Nathalie/Mayura tenderly and we can see that they have something going on, it seems extremely unprompted and just an excuse for Gabriel to not have to tell Adrien that he’s Hawk Moth.

It also brings up the question as to what changed between Gabriel saying that he already wished that he could tell Adrien what he was doing since Adrien would understand, compared to now where Gabriel is completely okay with telling Adrien.

Everything’s too up in the air, too vague, and nothing hits like it should. The episode throws five shots at its viewers at once (”Amelie and Felix,” “The Twin Rings,” “Gabriel Almost Telling Adrien That He’s Hawk Moth,” “Three People Getting Akumatized at Once,” and “Marinette Successfully Sending a Confession to Adrien”) but none of them strike properly. They’re all fighting for screentime to the point where we don’t even see Alya’s more detailed reaction to “Adrien” rejecting Marinette’s confession (she looks slightly more annoyed than everyone else, I guess) when Alya had made such a big deal about Marinette confessing beforehand (I’ll forgive her just this once for flashing her tablet, unprompted, in Marinette’s anxious face since Alya largely does nothing bad outside of that). The episode tries too hard to be big and impactful but misses the mark because none of the things it’s trying to do can play out in a way that makes it feel like they’re important.

Amelie and Felix don’t have original models.

The twin rings haven’t been brought up in any significant way before.

Gabriel and Nathalie talk about Adrien knowing about the Hawk Moth thing once and then presumably give up with no explanation as to why Gabriel isn’t going to try again since Adrien clearly just misunderstood him.

The three people getting akumatized end up turning into forms we’ve seen before, all of which have been in this season, even if it was sparingly.

Marinette’s confession doesn’t even get misinterpreted by Adrien; it’s viewed by Felix and promptly deleted.

Oh yeah, and then there’s THAT scene…

[Consententious]

Alright, so I can’t really talk about this scene without talking about the supposed reason for why this episode exists.

For the 0.01% of people who aren’t aware, Felix is the original Adrien from the Miraculous PV, which is what Miraculous Ladybug used to be before it became the show it is now. Astruc has said, time and time again, that he did not like this character and that was why Adrien had replaced him.

The fandom clung to Felix, however. People were still interested in the “what-ifs” and “what could’ve been”s, especially as situations rose in-show where people felt like Felix would’ve reacted in a way that was different/better than how Adrien would have reacted.

Astruc was the one most known for disliking Felix, but another thing he was known for was lying to people in order to keep future things in the show a secret.

You know that scene in “Kwamibuster,” where Tikki keeps something from Marinette, and when she then tries to explain something else to Marinette, Marinette points out, “You see, the problem now is that I’m always going to wonder if you’re lying or not”?

Yeah, that’s basically the fandom with Astruc. Whether Astruc’s behavior was justified or not, it’s harder to believe what he says when he openly admitted to lying to everyone.

This brings us back to Felix. In terms of what Astruc has told us on him, it’s been inconsistent, to say the least.

He claimed that Adrien was created because Felix wasn’t an interesting character, then said that Felix was interesting even though he wasn’t fit to be a hero despite later claims of Felix being a weak character who was more of an anime cliche, which was then further uprooted by outright stating that Felix was bad/evil.

Essentially, regardless of what has been said about this episode’s existence, this entire episode feels like a response to the side of the fandom that firmly believes that Felix would have been better than Adrien, and that looks bad because such episodes tend to never go over well with the fandom.

- Felix is shown as cold and unfeeling whereas Adrien is understanding if a bit solemn.

- Felix and Adrien are compared directly by both having a dead parent who died recently.

- Felix reacts negatively to Adrien’s behavior whereas Adrien tries to excuse Felix’s actions and be a good person.

- Plagg (who Felix would’ve had in the PV) is given a MUCH bigger input on things than he usually is, even to the point of comparing Felix and Adrien directly. The episode also has Felix ruining a piece of cheese in Plagg’s stash, whereas Plagg is typically not directly affected by the actions of other characters.

- Felix’s actions of rooting through Adrien’s things may or may not be a comparison to Lila (another character that Astruc doesn’t like) from “Oni-chan,” who riffled through Adrien’s things while Adrien was distracted. This is further supported by Plagg calling out both of these to Adrien and Adrien excusing both of them.

- Felix literally disguising himself as Adrien and Marinette not only noticing the facade straight away, but proclaiming angrily that Felix!Adrien is “not Adrien.”

- Felix implied to even be emotionally weaker than Adrien by his face at Chat’s comment about him not having many friends, his face in response to Marinette’s confession, and Adrien asking him to call if he needs support.

And then, we have the big scene where Felix (disguised as Adrien) tries to force a kiss on Ladybug, in which there’s a clear “no means no” message followed by a punch to Felix’s face.

Now… first off, yes, this is obviously yet another jab at the comparison between Felix and Chat. Felix tried to force a kiss on Ladybug whereas Chat has–

…well, he’s never gotten one off, at least, and stops when something happens (either Ladybug gets pulled back into the fight or she stops him with a hand/her words).

This is also shown by how Ladybug states post-punch that “Adrien would never be so pushy,” immediately followed by Chat Noir showing up and insulting Felix.

…Yeah, I’ll tackle the message first.

While this idea of “no means no” is nice and all, it ignores the nuance of what actually means “yes.” The forced kiss still would have been wrong if it’d been towards someone like Juleka, who would’ve locked up at the sight of someone trying to force themself on her, or someone like Rose, who may’ve been completely oblivious as to what the forcer would’ve been doing until it was too late. It might seem like a small thing, but just saying “what part of ‘no’ did you not understand?” leaves the obvious loophole of “WELL, if they DON’T say ‘no’ then that makes it okay.”

As for Chat, well… the setup not only didn’t make sense as a comparison to him, but it doesn’t function as a comparison in the episode itself.

See, the setup is wrong because Felix is not doing this because he’s a creep. He’s not someone who’s crushing on Ladybug and disguised himself as Adrien in hopes that she would favor him and let him kiss her.

In fact, Felix is fully aware that kissing someone without their consent is wrong; the reason he’s doing it is to ruin Adrien’s reputation.

Would Felix actually do that if he were lusting over Ladybug or crushing on a girl legitimately? We don’t know, and that’s exactly why Felix and Chat’s actions are not comparable.

This isn’t a case of, “Character B and C are attracted to Character A. Character C stops when told/prompted to stop whereas Character B continues despite those things.” Chat and Felix have entirely different motives when trying to kiss Ladybug.

Chat leans in for a kiss multiple times and is stopped by either Ladybug or whatever’s happening around them. Even if he stops when told/prompted to, he starts back up, whether it’s later in the episode or in a later episode beyond it.

Felix’s actions are wrong and I will not deny that, nor will I compare him directly to Chat and say that one is worse than the other.

I will just say: Felix is aware that he’s doing something scummy and is doing so to make someone he dislikes look bad. Chat may be aware that he can’t proceed with a kiss if Ladybug denies it or prompts him to back off, but he still tries over and over to flirt and/or lean in for a kiss in hopes that she’ll return it eventually. Whatever form of “no” Ladybug gives him (as it can come in many forms), Chat still believes that trying again later is perfectly fine and that asking is not necessary no matter how many times she’s denied him or rejected his feelings.

As for why the setup doesn’t function, it’s because we, in this episode, do not have a direct comparison between Felix’s advances and Chat’s. Chat isn’t given the screentime to properly flirt with Ladybug or try to make any sort of advance on her, so there’s no “that was Felix, this is Chat,” moment.

Is that because the writers were aware that Chat’s behavior is still not up to speed with how people should act in reality? Maybe, maybe not, but the point is that they didn’t have it.

Now, that said, there indeed was a character in the episode who made it very clear (both through his body language and through his words) that he respected the actions, space, and choices of the one he was in love with.

But, who was that again…?

O O P S

Like, look, I’m not getting into Luka’s role in the episode (though I’ll just say that, while I adore the boy, this wasn’t the episode for him and - had I not needed to go into other subjects - I definitely would be rambling about the disservice both he and Marinette get in general), but I’m just pointing out the very obvious misstep taken. If this episode was a response to the fandom, I guess one could argue that this is knocking any idea of Felix being Marinette’s other love interest instead of Luka, but when people think of “someone trying to kiss Marinette/Ladybug,” Luka is not going to be the first one who comes to mind; that’s gonna be Chat and the writing dropped the ball entirely because it couldn’t pull it off without having to address his behavior or risk sending an, “only no means no,” message.

Oh, and speaking of dropping the ball, even Felix doesn’t get dropped entirely, because the writing didn’t even do Felix dirty CORRECTLY.

[Failing Felix]

Just for a moment, let’s roll (completely roll, this time) with the idea that this entire episode is a response to the side of the fandom who really liked Felix and preferred him over Adrien.

By that logic, the standard thing to do would be to make Felix as evil and possible and make everyone hate him, yes?

However, that “standard thing” is completely missing from this plot.

Felix, by the end of the episode, already has two motives.

The first is stated outright by the end, though could also be inferred early on as well: Felix wanted to get the twin rings back for his mother. In addition, it is not for his own selfish gain, as he isn’t even aware that his mother wanted to get the rings back so she could give them to him.

Felix wanted to get the twin rings back because his mother had told him that they were part of their family, not Gabriel’s, and Felix sought to retrieve them himself.

The second motive is for his actions outside of Gabriel, which is him judging Adrien and trying to ruin Adrien’s reputation.

Even Felix’s bitterness towards Adrien is showcased, though in small doses.

When Adrien apologizes to Felix for not going to his father’s funeral, Felix retorts with,

“You always do everything your father tells you to do?”

Right there is Felix’s problem with Adrien: he views Adrien as a doormat (a common fan complaint anyway tbh). This is not helped when Adrien excuses his father’s actions with a smile (which may come off as insensitive; Adrien, be UPSET by your father, not sheepishly smiling about what he did) by saying that his father is “very protective.”

Felix only initiates his stealing of Adrien’s things after this scene takes place; immediately after this takes place, as a matter of fact.

The other key interaction that takes place is when Felix enters the mansion. He reaches out for a handshake, but Adrien goes in for a hug.

Adrien doesn’t know that a hand reaching out in a handshake gesture isn’t consent.

Already, Adrien has come off as touchy, unable to read Felix’s gestures, and possibly insensitive.

Further on are Felix’s comments on the things he finds in Adrien’s phone:

Adrien’s obvious crush on Ladybug - Felix sees it as idiotic which… yeah, it would look like a childish celebrity crush without context

Nino’s video - 90% sure the reaction there was the “teenage” version of how Gabriel judged Nino in “Bubbler;” pretty standard rich boy judgment

Rose’s video - …I’m sorry, I can’t blame Felix for that one; that was so overly gushy and cheerful that I winced

Max’s video - Felix doesn’t seem like the type to like jokes and he also thinks that whole thing is weird (also not knowing that Markov is “real”); could go either or on how out-of-place his comment was.

Chloe’s video - Felix doesn’t like Chloe and I can’t blame him for that one either.

Marinette’s video - Felix has a different reaction to this one and I imagine he either thinks that Adrien is dating Marinette (and could think it’s pathetic for a variety of reasons from “Adrien is already crushing on Ladybug” or “the doormat boy has a girlfriend”) or thinks that Marinette confessing over video is pathetic

Even when Felix goes against Ladybug and Chat, he’s probably realized at that point that impulsively impersonating Adrien won’t get him anywhere close to sleight-of-handing Gabriel’s ring away. Also, Ladybug punched him (regardless of her reason why) and Chat insulted him despite only knowing things about him from what he heard from someone else.

None of this excuses any of Felix’s actions, but it is a reason that is introduced within the episode where said actions take place.

Unlike, say, Chloe, whose mother was shown off in the season after Chloe herself first appeared, giving us no context, reason, or motive for her behavior outside of “she’s a spoiled brat.”

Felix also did manage to come up with a convincing enough apology to get Gabriel to shake his hand, allowing Felix to safely snatch one of the twin rings away to return to his mother.

I don’t think anyone is complaining about Gabriel getting screwed over after “Chat Blanc,” just saying.

Even athletically, Felix scores a one-handed point in basketball with his back turned to the hoop, and he can go toe-to-toe with three akuma at once.

He even has a hobby in doing magic tricks, said hobby allowing him to steal Gabriel’s twin ring. Characters having hobbies is an important thing for fleshing them out, and Felix weirdly just… has one, and one that benefits him.

So, is Felix’s presence in the show an insult due to having a repeated character model and being used as a forced comparison to Adrien? Yes.

Does that mean he’s not workable in any form and can’t be used for the fandom’s desires?

Not really, no. At least, I certainly don’t think so.

The reality is that Felix was never a warm person, PV or otherwise, and his initial reaction to Adrien (”I don’t like you. You hugged me without my asking you and you let your father walk all over you.”) is honestly something I’d expect of him.

It’s when combined with the already terrible ideas of the episode and the convoluted nature of things that everything (including him) turns into a problem.

[that-house]

Hey so I hit 100 followers today!

Buckle up, this is gonna be a LOOOONG post.

I quite honestly expected it (while my ego is a little smaller than my jokes make it out to be it is definitely present), I didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

It’s not an insane milestone, plenty of people have 100 followers. A hefty portion of my followers are bigger than me. But it’s still important to me. Knowing that there’s 100 people out there who enjoy my shit makes me happy.

First and foremost the credit quite honestly has to go to ahegao George Washington. No, I’m not joking. Until I posted on r/tumblr about my desire to draw that, I had 0 followers. I jumped to like 10 overnight, which was awesome. And then those new followers helped me spread my posts and get more attention.

Secondly I’d like to shoutout @imaverysadgirl and @themeaninglessjumble. You two were my first real tumblr frens. You were the first of my followers to really interact with me. Ember, I’m super happy you’re alive to see me hit 100 followers. Jumble (I don’t know your name unless I forgot it), your art and creations are great and you deserve way more attention.

To all the rest of you, you guys are great, too. Every new follower makes me happy. I’d say I don’t deserve you all, but my colossal ego says I do. Regardless, being nemesi and getting called out for being horny on main and sending and receiving asks has made this last month or so great.

Finally, for all the shit it gets, and for all the shit it pulls, [tumblr] really is pretty dope. I got to meet you all, and it’s actively making me a better person by exposing me to groups of people I’d rarely interact with in real life.

Why does it feel like I’m saying goodbye? I’m not, don’t worry. I plan to stay, and neither death nor pain shall drive me from this hellsite. I’m just saying thanks.

Now with the thanks out of the way, I want to talk about myself a little. Just the stuff that I’ve always wanted to say and never quite gathered my thoughts and found the time to talk about.

You’re gonna get to know me so well! This is like a mini autobiography!

First off, my mental health. This is something I don’t talk about much on this blog, mostly because it doesn’t need much talking about. I’m doing pretty well, to be honest. I have a smattering of anxiety and I’m maybe a little too introverted for my own good, but I’m not suffering from depression and the only time I ever even remotely considered suicide was when I just really really didn’t want to go to French class. COVID has been great for me, since I don’t have to see people. I suppose I’m not a great person to talk to if you’re struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, seeing as I can’t personally relate, but I’m still always here for you guys if you need me. Just because I haven’t lived through your experiences doesn’t mean I can’t try to help.

Next up I want to talk about my sexuality. This one’s a bit of a mystery. For the past 16 years of my life I’ve considered myself 100% straight. But lately (let’s be honest, following the release of Spirit Blossom Thresh) I’ve been wondering if I might be bi. How many times can I joke about wanting to smash sexy boys before it’s not really a joke anymore? And if I am, a lot of things would suddenly make a lot of sense. But every time I think I have it figured out it suddenly feels like I have no clue what’s going on. Regardless, my sexuality has honestly never been a massive part of my identity (though I’m definitely not asexual, my friends can attest I’m far too horny for that). I have no clue if I’m bi and for now it’s kind of a fun little adventure!

I guess I’ll talk about school and stuff now. Believe it or not, I’m kinda smart. I’m taking a shitton of AP courses this year. But I simultaneously feel like it’s too much and not enough. I’m smart, but I’m not a great student. Compared to my dad, who graduated college with a 3.98 GPA (and his only B being in History of Canada as an American) and now has a super well-paying government STEM job that he loves, I feel like even if I work my ass off I’ll never quite measure up. And my parents have had super high expectations of me, and it’s only recently that they’ve started to accept that I might get some B’s here and there. I’m worried about all the homework this year. I’m a year ahead in Math but I don’t feel good enough at math to be taking AP calculus junior year. I’m worried I’m going to get like a C. But for the most part school is alright, too. That’s sort of the trend in my life. Everything’s alright.

Time to talk about my love life! I have no love life! I’ve been single for 17 years and probably stand no chance of changing that until at least college! Haha I’m so alone! But I can live with it. Growing up an only child with a few friends means that I’m pretty good at functioning without a ton of social interaction, and, while I’d like a partner someday, I’m not desperate. I can wait until I find someone. Pretty much my goal is not to die alone.

Onto sports maybe? I played soccer for most of my life, and was always the worst player on the select team. I was too good for the normal team and not good enough for the select team (kinda like math). Soccer was really toxic, especially when you’re the worst player on a team of high school jock drug addict boys. So I quit, and started playing frisbee! It’s a lot better. The people are nicer! But my first season never happened because of COVID and now I’m in my Junior year and haven’t played much frisbee! So I kinda suck! But I’m physically fit and that’s good enough for me! On my own time I bike and run to stay in shape.

Are you still with me? Now I’m gonna talk about my hobbies and things!

I’ve been playing video games for a long time. I kinda suck at them to be totally honest. I probably have below-average reaction time, and my parents only let me play 15 minutes a day for most of my childhood, so I have a lot less practice than most of my friends. I’m pretty slick with Swain in LoL tho.

This next part is borderline shameless self-promotion, but since the Kickstarter isn’t live yet I guess it doesn’t count. I’m making a tabletop role playing game! I’ve been working on it for the past few years. My goal is to launch the Kickstarter prior to my college applications, because that’ll look sexy as fuck to potential colleges. It’s a post-apocalyptic sci-fi game where you play as supersoldiers trying to reconquer the wastelands of Earth for humanity. I’ll do a big post on it when I launch the Kickstarter, and I guess that’ll also be a full name reveal (kinda spooky since my full name is ENTIRELY unique and one-of-a-kind. More ego boost lmao).

And finally I want to talk about my art and writing. I’ll start with my drawing, and finish off with my writing, since that’s what I’d most like to be known for on here (but that’ll never happen because my caveman brain shitposts are too funny).

So I’ve been doodling for a long time. I briefly got formal art training but sacrificing my Saturday mornings to draw what someone else wanted me to make so that I could make better stuff in the future didn’t appeal to my 8-year-old brain. I draw in the margins of worksheets. I draw on random sheets of paper. Recently my parents bought me a drawing tablet, and I’ve been trying to improve at digital art. I’d say I’m getting better, but I don’t practice nearly enough. All in all my art serves its purpose. It makes people laugh and can sometimes creep people out. It’ll never go in a museum, and I’ll never make money off of it but whatever.

And finally, my writing.

How can I talk about writing without talking about reading? I’ve likely read more books than both my parents combined, and if not, it’s close (and my mom is a prolific reader too). I have three bookshelves in my room and books on every surface. You can’t follow me for long without seeing a post ranting about my latest read. I love to read and I read incredibly fast. Reading spurred my love of English class, which in turn helped me write.

And finally, we get to writing in and of itself. I’ve been writing stories since I was a little kid. I’d like to think I’ve improved a fair bit. I’m still no novelist, but I consider myself a fairly adept short story writer.

But I suppose where my writing really stems from is my bed. Every night while I’m lying in bed, I tell myself stories until I fall asleep. I work on a story until it’s done or until I get bored of it. Along the way, in the shower, on my bike, I build the world of the story, crafting the plot. Sometimes the stories are elaborate fanfictions of my latest reads. That’s probably how they started. Often, they’re unique worlds all of their own. My current writing posts are about the City of Mammon, but my current story in my head is about some vampires who hunt other vampires in Victorian England.

And now we get into the process of writing. It’s fun! I sit myself down with an idea in my head, and use all the fancy words I picked up from my books to convey the vibes I want. I honestly wouldn’t be a great writing teacher. It’s just a skill that comes naturally to me as a result of what I’ve been doing with my free time my whole life. And it’s beautiful. And every time someone compliments my writing or reblogs it, I love writing just a little bit more.

Well I guess this is it. The 100 follower special. I wonder how many of you guys will take the time out of your day to read this. Hopefully a lot!

James (or That House) signing off for the night!

<3 thanks guys

[thinking-ji]

Why does TXT’s “We Lost The Summer” MV work?

Hi, I’m back again to overanalyse TXT’s MV for “We Lost The Summer”. After first watching it, I was overwhelmed by sadness but didn’t know why. After all, there have been literally tons of videos and songs about COVID-19. Until 2h ago, perhaps the most heart-wrenching song I’d heard about the topic was FINNEAS’ “What They'll Say About Us". Yet I was more deeply affected by “We Lost The Summer” thanks to its combination of brutal honesty, clever cinematic juxtaposition and images of kids suffering (from first world problems, but problems all the same).

I think what makes the MV work so well are two things:

The song conveys a message of longing for the past, for the "normal". This complements all the contrasting shots of "what is" and "what could have been". It hurts to see kids who could have had a fun summer with their friends out in the warm sun be banished to self-isolation with no one but themselves (or in some cases, a soft toy or a dog) for company.

Their acting. Their facial expressions do tons in expressing the plot, especially in the scenes where they look longingly at the camera. As cheesy as that sounds, their expressions line up perfectly with the almost resentful mood of the song.

Click ‘read more’ for frame-by-frame analysis of what makes the MV work:

0:09-0:15 Taking photos as a group in front of the toilet mirror, probably in school. Bright. Just a normal day in school with ya bros, no problems hugging one another.

0:16 Cut to Yeonjun receiving a Public Safety Alert. He's using an iPhone - this feature was not available until a few months into the COVID-19 outbreak (20 May 2020). Two possibilities - 1) This marks the point at which everything changed i.e. when the pandemic became concerning enough that quarantine was necessary (note the strict warning on screen - "If you leave home, assume you were exposed to COVID-19."); 2) canon-compliant sequence of events - this was in May 2020, when there was also a spike in cases in South Korea (see: Itaewon spike). The former is more likely, considering the lyrics "left alone on the evening of an endless March 1".

0:16-0:17 Back and forth shot - we first see the Public Safety Alert (with a jarring alert ringtone), then the video cuts to the group's concerned reaction, then back to the Public Safety Alert. Almost as if they cannot believe what they're seeing. Note also that the second shot of the Public Safety Alert is clearer than the first - they're paying more attention the second time around.

0:18 Cut to awkward Zoom call (with dog!).

0:19 Intro to main protagonist Yeonjun. Interesting styling choices here - Yeonjun doesn't himself have tattoos; these are fake tattoos. I see this as an effort to represent every kind of young person - it's not only the studious, clean-cut kids who choose to stay home. Now, even the stereotypical bad boys who would usually stay out are forced to stay home as well (that is, if they choose to be socially responsible).

Yeonjun is also putting on a simple singlet here. This is a clear departure from his school uniform. He's chosen to dress comfortably and looks disappointed. Perhaps he feels that nothing matters at this point. This will be a recurring theme throughout the video.

0:24 He gets up to hug his teddy bear, likely a source of comfort. He appears to be alone. Maybe the teddy bear is his only companion when he's at home. A stark contrast to the beginning of the video, when he had a squad of friends to hang out with.

0:26-0:27 Yeonjun starts to dress up for the Zoom call with his friends later. He seems to be in a much better mood with this semblance of normalcy. Or maybe he's just practicing his smile for the camera. His room is bright despite the blinds being drawn; it's the morning.

0:28 We realise that Yeonjun was smiling in the mirror. His expression changes as soon as he looks away. He's not happy about the situation; guess he's just practicing his smile for later.

0:31 The squad's coming online, just waiting for Yeonjun. Everyone is dressed up in bright colours, against their very bright and cheerily-coloured rooms. Juxtaposed with the rather dull school outfits and blue walls at the beginning of the video.

0:33-0:36 For the first time since being at home, he appears to be truly excited. He waves enthusiastically at the squad. Interestingly, his curtains are drawn and the only source of light is a neon green light in the corner of his room. It's unclear what time it is.

0:39 Classic eyes closed, close-up shot of Kai's face. Sadness. Slight increase in exposure near the end of the shot - reminiscence of a time when the surroundings were brighter.

0:41 Flashback to old times in school with the squad. The setting is brightly-lit. We'll see that this changes as the MV progresses.

0:47 Sharing earphones. Ah, the good times.

0:52 Taehyun throws a baseball across the open area. Something you won't get to do inside unless you want to break something.

0:54 Cut to Soobin lying down on the floor of his room (peak relaxing position tbh). He's just dropped his phone on his face. First world problems. Sucks that even little things like this will happen more often now that they're home alone with their phones being their only connection to the outside world.

0:56 Guess Soobin is trying to preoccupy himself by putting together a (big, may I add) puzzle. Seems like he also tried to distract himself with whack-a-mole. But he can't help but watch old videos of him and his friends - this is marked by the school uniforms. Again, reminiscing the old times.

0:58 Closer look at the video Soobin is watching.

1:00 Dude fell asleep with a puzzle piece on his face omg. Clearly bored/frustrated/tired of being stuck at home with puzzles being the most interesting thing he could possibly do alone.

1:01 Yeah, he's not happy about it.

1:03-1:08 Beomgyu is at home with his dog. I can't tell much other than that his dog doesn't hate him, which is a good thing when your dog is your closest companion at home.

1:09-1:12 I can't think of this shot of them syncing the choreo over Zoom being anything other than a cool way to transition to the dance and juxtapose with them performing the choreography together (see: 1:13~1:19).

1:20 Jamming out to the song together.

1:21, 1:24, 1:25, 1:27, 1:28: Yeonjun jamming out alone.

1:31 It's raining/snowing...

1:32 In their hideout in school (remember it's only partially covered). Also note that the colour scheme in the school setting has gotten much duller than before.

1:34 Taehyun catches a baseball. Note that he isn't in his school uniform, so we can assume he is alone here while everyone else is staying in.

1:35, 1:38, The squad escapes the rain.

1:40 Yeonjun admiring his image in the mirror while trying on a different jacket. Compare this and the previous images of him looking into the mirror, with a later shot of him looking into a mirror. Here, we can see both him and his reflection, which gives us the impression that he isn't alone.

1:44 Beomgyu is on the floor hugging his dog. Maybe he's given up lol

1:46 Beomgyu opened the blinds a little to look outside. "Want to see you again."

1:48, 1:50 I'm not sure what Kai was trying to do, but he definitely messed up that smiley face. Seems like an allusion to how everything was fine and dandy, but then this virus just had to come and ruin it for everyone.

1:51 Seems like Taehyun is playing baseball with himself.

1:56, 1:59 Repetitions show that Taehyun is going through the motions. Has nothing better to do.

2:03, 2:07 These shots confused me at first, but "I hate my face drained of expression" clears it up. Communicating online has reduced us to avatars, profile pictures and our digital versions of ourselves. A pretty digital avatar void of human emotion - that's what Soobin has become.

2:13 Beomgyu seems pretty happy creating his personal Jurassic Park...

2:15 But yeah, there could've been better things to do.

2:16 I know Beomgyu is creating an obstacle course for his dog, but his constantly changing environment (e.g. additional bowling pins in this frame) makes it seem like he's trying every possible trick in the book to occupy himself while he's alone.

2:22 Again, the introduction of Beomgyu's dog makes it seem like he's exhausting all his sources of entertainment. I'm not complaining though, it's cute to see him try.

2:25-2:26 The transition to a wide shot showing that Beomgyu's dog is leashed indoors is jarring when you think twice about it. There's no reason to leash his dog when they're indoors, but maybe he's trying to simulate being outside.

2:28 From here onwards is where the structure of the MV changes. Before this, we'd been getting shots of TXT at home interspersed with flashbacks of their time together pre-COVID. But now they're out on a large, empty road on a bright day. They would not be dancing on such a wide road if it weren't empty because no one needs/wants/is allowed to go anywhere. Also note that these are different outfits from previous cuts of them dancing, where they were dressed in their school uniforms.

2:31 Taehyun pastes a sticker of pixel ver. squad on his drone. Perhaps highlighting the fact that the only reminder he has of them while they're separated is their online presence.

2:33 Taehyun is wearing a helmet to fly his drone even though he doesn't really need to. It's not like he's travelling outside or anything. But anything to escape the feeling of being stuck at home, I guess. You do you. Also, the fact that he's flying a drone is symbolic of his wish to travel or at least wander outside. He can't do it in person, so he lets his drone do it for him.

2:33 The squad arrives on the rooftop! Note that Yeonjun is wearing the jacket he tried on the second time - this is still during COVID times. How were they able to get on the rooftop with Taehyun when they were all supposed to be at home? REBELS. Maybe this is all just a dream... unless? Last thing - it's sunset here, which links to...

2:47 It's snowing and dark outside in their usual hideout in school. Note that Yeonjun is wearing the same outfit as in the dancing on the road cuts. Clear juxtaposition between hopes and reality.

2:48 Their bench and things are covered in snow, almost as if the winter has stopped them from doing whatever they were doing before. "Endless winter."

2:53, 2:57 They're taking photos alone. Interesting upside-down shots.

2:55 They're trying to have fun in the winter but for Beomgyu it's just not the same.

3:00 The brightly-lit toilet is juxtaposed with - gasp! - not its reflection. Without his friends, Yeonjun perhaps finds that staring into a mirror alone isi like staring into a dark void, or a duller version of reality.

3:02 Also, it's snowing on the other side. Note that in all the 'winter' shots we've been getting, it's always dark.

3:09 Is Yeonjun trying to check if there's a mirror, or reach into the void?

3:11 We get confirmation that there is a mirror in reality, but to Yeonjun it feels like a void. This image of him telling his reflection that "it's all gone" is honestly heartbreaking.

3:14 The squad is together, but the winter is depressing.

3:20 The most direct reference to COVID in this entire MV. "It's all gone". The masks serve as a tangible representation of the new normal. Their expressions are all gone now ("I hate my face drained of expression") since half their faces are hidden. It no longer matters if they smile or laugh; no one can see it anyway.

3:21-3:25 Direct reference to social distancing.

3:25 The toilet gets progressively darker.

3:36 It's snowing on the road now, almost as if the bleakness of their reality has permeated through to their imagination of a brighter future.

3:39 Interestingly, compared to the past few shots of the boys in the dark winter, they seem to be slightly happier here, getting used to the new normal.

3:40 Butterfly on Beomgyu's face a representation of summer.

3:46 Cut to someone's phone on the bench, the only thing that hasn't been covered in snow, the only bright thing in the darkness. Looks like this is the last video they filmed while they were out on the road dancing.

Overall, it seems that:

bathroom, bright school hideout scenes = the past

road scene = last time they were able to see each other, transition period OR a time between strict quarantine and "new normal" where cases were low enough that people felt comfortable going outside

home scenes = quarantine period

winter scenes = new normal

[angry-healers]

5.0 Astrologian Changes (Opinion)

You all know I main this so might as well start here first.

My initial reaction: Shocked and scared.

This was the reaction like a lot of AST mains and honestly it simply comes from the fact that nothing was wrong with AST. There was just something wrong with WHM’s core ability to compete with us in raid level content. So naturally, it would feel like we’ve been gutted for no reason. And honestly I was fearful of that. My biggest draw to AST was the card shuffle. Six situational cards that I could pull and use in different pieces of content. However here’s where the problem lies. 

Because all competitive players care about are numbers.

As such, the only card they considered useful was Balance in 99.9% of situations. Not just in raid content but outside of it as well in the content I actually do. Ever been barked at for giving a Bard who just expended Foe’s a few ewers to help them have it up again? Because I fucking have. And after thinking about it this way as well as assessing the surprisingly few situations I would use anything but Balance and Spear, I realized that hey, you know what this card change is actually a step in the right direction even if it is simplified. At least with the simplification (sorry elitists), newer players who want to get into the class will be able to do so with more ease instead of having to fish all over the place for guides on how to use the cards and who benefits from them most.

So after having 8 hours at work to really think about these changes and settle on them, I’m honestly okay with it. The shuffle effect is still there. You still have buffs to pick choose and stack in order to make the right combination for our new Divination skill. They’ve simply removed the annoying problem of trying to get a beneficial card and ending up drawing nothing but spires for an entire dungeon. RNG is nice but it does not make an intuitive/complicated job in the long run.

Now, cards aside, I am still offended by the reduction in our regen durations as well as the loss of Celestial Opposition (in its original form) and Time Dilation. One thing I adored was being able to extend the length of my regens by a significant amount and using those burst regens to give myself a semi-mitigated window where I’m able to DPS without worrying about the tank dying. That was one of my favorite things to do. The lower duration and the lower potency of Collective Unconscious is likely to change that unless CO’s regen double stacks over AH and AB regens then it’ll likely go unnoticed. 

(Forgive me for not knowing a few things I only watched a few general videos to get my toes dipped in. I am not a fan of 100% in depth videos because I do want to play the job myself and not rely on the words of someone who dug in completely.)

But again, the loss of CO and TD and the semi-nerfs to our regens down the board are not cause to call the job ruined. We can all call it ruined or perfect after we’ve really played with it.

All of THAT aside. I’m literally 0% concerned about DPS. Because I do not care about having an “intricate DPS rotation”. That is for actual DPS to have. The purpose of my DPS is to weave it between my support skills or spam it when I have no need of those support skills. We are fine and we have two new upgrades. I find complaints about the DPS across all three healers to be pointless because, again, you’re a healer. Your DPS kit is supposed to be boring because it’s not your primary job to be doing DPS. People don’t play healers to DPS. They play healers to support and for the support kit. Not the DPS kit. if you want a DPS kit, play a DPS. Unless you’re some cryptid who does it for the queue times and the aesthetic then honestly I can’t help you.

For now my opinion is: Worried, but waiting.

The changes bring it theoretically in line with the rest of the healers (especially WHM), but it lost a lot of fun toys in the process hence the anger and frustration from AST mains seen across the board. From an observer’s point of view, some of these changes were needed in order to...well basically stop every other type of healer from whining about how Balance should be removed from the game. In the end, however, it isn’t. We still have Divination and over all damage buffs. So yeah. A little worried due to lost toys, but waiting to actually feel the playstyle.

Coming up next: SCH.

-- Mod Mhi

[newtedison]

all we do is drive -- preview

hi all! so here is the first chapter (plus the beginning of the second) of my current WIP. the basic premise is that thomas is scared of newt moving back to england after graduation, so he takes him on an impulsive weekend road trip in California. i have the outline of the rest of the fic set up but i am VERY open to any feedback, opinions, reactions, or suggestions! thanks for reading!

all we do is drive.

What was it about the open road that was so appealing to Thomas? He was never quite sure, but it called to him. It whispered his name in the passing breeze, tugged eagerly at his hand, talked dirty in his ear at night while the cars crunched their wheels on the gravel. Whenever he was stuck, or unsure, or just plain bored, he took to the road. The second he had that itch, he was behind the wheel before he knew it. 

Of course, he was almost never alone on these impulsive getaways. There was always at least one other person there with him, and that honor typically went to his former roommate Newt, accompanied by a playlist recently made and a camera dangling from the strap around his neck. The other usual suspects include Brenda getting high in the backseat, Teresa pretending that she doesn’t want to get high in the backseat, Minho shoving some sort of food into his mouth, Alby playing backseat driver to Thomas, or Harriet silently resting her chin against the open window. Any combination of these things was a given but three things were absolutely certain;

Thomas was the driver.

They did not have a destination.

Newt gets shotgun.

When these things became established patterns, Thomas wasn’t sure. He vaguely remembers Newt calling shotgun sometime freshmen year on their first group outing, and it was never questioned since. The few times Newt isn’t on one of their trips, Thomas’ friends just leave shotgun empty and take their positions in the backseat, as if it would be sacrilegious to take his spot. They always seem to have more fun teasing Thomas from the back, anyway. He doesn’t mind.

Speaking of, Thomas suddenly feels a sharp kick through the seat.

“I want Wendy’s,” Brenda whines. “I’m fucking starving.”

Thomas eyes the receipt lying in his cup holder from, oh, ten minutes ago.

“Really?” Thomas asks, shooting Brenda a quick glance in the rearview mirror. “You’re starving?”

“Yes,” Brenda says at the same time Teresa says “No.”

“Oh, come on,” Brenda grunts, nudging Teresa with her shoulder. “Side with your girlfriend, please.”

“Brenda, as your girlfriend, I’m telling you that if you eat any more fast food you’re going to vomit,” Teresa calmly explains, a hint of softness in her voice. “You just have the munchies.”

“Do not,” Brenda retorts.

“Oh?” Newt pipes in, slowly reaching towards the steering wheel. He rests his hand on it without moving it, and Thomas doesn’t object. “So if I rock this wheel back and forth right now, you’re not gonna feel sick?”

“...no,” Brenda answers unconvincingly. 

“You sure?” Newt continues. “Because I’m tempted. I’m really tempted.”

“Be my guest,” Thomas invites, taking his right hand off the wheel. “There’s no one around. We can totally do it.”

“Do NOT swerve the car,” Alby chimes in. “I may not be high but I’m not crashing into a tree just to make Brenda vomit.”

“Pfft, whatever,” Brenda mumbles. “Can’t prove nothin’.”

Thomas laughs and places his hand down on the steering wheel a second before Newt pulls his away. Their hands brush for just a second and somehow, amazingly, it sends a small zip through Thomas’ fingers. Four years and every accidental touch feels like a small lightning strike. You’d think he would have adjusted by now.

***

Brenda flips Thomas the finger as she shuts the back door and walks with Teresa to her apartment. Thomas feels a slight sense of relief followed by an immediate pang of guilt at the now empty backseat. As much as he loved his friends, having to handle them and drive at the same time was a bit exhausting sometimes.

Newt, somehow reading Thomas’ mind as always, chimes in from the right. “Four years and they haven’t lost their energy yet,” he chuckles. 

“Yeah,” Thomas manages, the words four years replaying in his mind. Somehow it feels like it went by in a flash and also the longest period of his life all rolled into one. How the hell was he supposed to graduate when he couldn’t even get his bearings on the concept of time?

“Hey, speak of the devil,” Newt continues, looking down at his phone. Thomas intrinsically looks down at the screen and sees a text from Gally. He ignores the sinking feeling it gives his stomach.

“Jesus, him?” Thomas groans before he can stop himself. “How long has it been?”

“Two years, I think?” Newt mumbles, reading the message with furrowed brows. “I don’t know what it is with the guys on this campus being so clingy.”

“You hooked up with him, what? One time?” 

“Uh, twice? Maybe? Can’t say I remember.”

“So what the hell does he want?”

“What do you think, Tommy?” Newt laughs. It’s not meant in a mocking way, but it makes Thomas feel very small. “It’s the last time he’ll get a night with me before we graduate. Guess it’s a now or never sort of thing, right.”

Thomas gives a half-chuckle and looks away. “I guess so.” 

“Maybe I’ll give him one more night,” Newt murmurs. “Who knows.”

Thomas stays silent and backs out of the parking lot as an excuse. He doesn’t know why he indulged Newt. He doesn’t like talking about Newt’s many, many, experiences with guys in their four years at college. Newt talks about them so easily, so effortlessly, as if him leaving these guys on read and ghosting them after one or two hookups was something that came naturally to him. 

(Thomas definitely doesn’t like thinking about his own experiences with men at college. And he certainly couldn’t talk about them as casually as Newt does, if he ever could at all.) 

He wonders how, or why, Newt has decided not to commit to any of them. Curiosity sizzles in his gut, burning like stomach acid.

“Why didn’t you ever, like...I don’t know...actually give one of them a shot?” He asks. “You know. Like, date one of them.”

He cheats a glance over at Newt and sees his features fall, ever so slightly, before quickly being placed back in position. 

Newt shrugs. “What’s the point? I would just be putting a time bomb on it anyway. No use getting attached to someone just to hurt them.”

Thomas holds back a sigh. “You’re really set on staying in England, huh?”

A ghost of a laugh escapes Newt’s mouth, more a breath than anything. “I came to California cause I got a scholarship. That’s it.” There’s a moment of silence before he adds “This isn’t my home. No use making them think that it is.”

A mix of emotions stir in Thomas at that statement. These are all things he already knew, but for a moment, he feels a profound, inexplicable sadness. It consumes him, darkening his vision and gripping his throat, but only for a moment. Quickly, he brings his attention back to the road.

“Besides,” Newt pipes up, his tone happier. “If I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t have all this free time to drive around with you, right?”

“Right,” Thomas answers, offering Newt half a smile. He hides the thought of Well, if I was your boyfriend, you wouldn’t have that problem.

So here’s Thomas’ problem. He knows.

Thomas knows it so deeply in his bones he does not remember a time where he did not know. Even his memories from before are tainted with thoughts of what that experience would have been like if he had known then. What he would have avoided doing if he had known who was coming into his life. He has hidden it every day and known every day and he has never known anything else. 

He remembers the first day moving into his dorm, of opening the door and immediately seeing a skinny blonde boy hanging a rainbow flag on the wall next to his bed. 

“Oh, hi,” the boy said once he finally turned around. “I’m your roommate, Sam? From the email?”

Thomas was immediately floored by his British accent but was too overwhelmed by, well, everything to process that.

“Hi Sam,” Thomas greeted, his eyes glued to the rainbow flag. “I’m Thomas.”

“Thomas. Nice name. How about you call me Newt, and I’ll call you Tommy, yeah?”

Thomas couldn’t help but laugh. “Newt?”

“Yeah. That’s my name. I only said Sam so you would know some weirdo hadn’t broken into your room. But I go by Newt.”

“Cool, man. You do you.”

Newt followed Thomas’ gaze to the rainbow flag on the wall. “Like that? My sister Sonya just got it for me as a moving-in gift.”

“It’s nice,” Thomas answered, not sure what else to say. He knew what it meant; he had spent enough time staring at the pink, purple, and blue flag and feeling the rightness of it seep into his bones that he knew the power of those colors. He just didn’t have one of his own to hang, nor would he likely ever.

“Don’t worry, Tommy, I’m not gonna flirt with you or anything,” Newt assured him. “Unless you want me to.” He ended it with a wink, and then another laugh. “I’m kidding.”

Thomas laughed but was overcome by an itching in his fingers, and suddenly felt the familiar, comforting heaviness of his keys in his left pocket.

“Hey…” He started, putting down his suitcase. “Do you wanna go for a drive?”

Surprisingly, Newt would go with him on that drive, even though they hadn’t finished unpacking yet and most of Thomas’ stuff was still in his car. In fact, Newt had barely questioned it at all, just started following Thomas as if it was the most natural thing he’d ever done. Soon the two were spending more time in the car then they did in their dorm, doing everything from late-night fast food runs to playing video games projected onto blank walls. Thomas barely remembers the time before Newt molded his body to the shotgun of his car.

Thomas knows. It’s all he knows, it’s all he’s ever known, and when they graduate in a few weeks and Newt moves back to England, he will not know anything at all.

***

Thomas can’t sleep that night. The open road is talking to him again, whispering him sweet nothings and teasing him mercilessly. He can feel the aura of his car in the parking lot, haunting him from a distance. His hands are magnetized to his car keys, and he’s using all the strength he has to pull them away. He shakes like a leaf in his bed, suppressing a scream with a pillow.

He wishes he knew a better solution to his problems than running. Ever since he was a kid, the second something was wrong, he took off running. It scared the shit out of his parents. Honestly, he’s surprised he never got kidnapped. But old habits are hard to break, and his instinct to drive away is only growing louder the longer he lays in bed.

He sits there in the silence, thinking about all the feelings that he’s hidden (and run away from, literally or figuratively) for the last four years. He remembers when Newt first hooked up with Gally back in sophomore year, which he found out when Newt came stumbling back into the room at 4 A.M. with noticeably disheveled hair.

“You’re not gonna like who it was,” Newt chuckled as he kicked off his shoes.

“Don’t tell it me was that Gally prick.”

Newt snorted. “Yeah.”

“Oh, gross, dude. That guy’s a total asshole.”

“You don’t want to KNOW about his ass, Tommy,” Newt slurred as he collapsed face-first onto his bed.

“You’re right,” Thomas agreed, shoving his headphones back in his ears. “I really don’t.”

The next day, he told Newt he wanted to live in a single the next year, and pretended not to see the knowing and hurt look in Newt’s eyes when he did. 

(He also pretended not to see the look in Gally’s eyes a few months later, filled with a different kind of knowing that spread a sick burning of shame through Thomas’ blood.)

He thinks about when Brenda and Teresa first started dating, how their eyes were wide and electric, the way their hands slid into each other like silk, how the simple act of them being together caused goosebumps to rise on the back of Thomas’ neck. He’s happy for them, extremely happy, but he’s also poisoningly jealous.

“You don’t know yet?” The boy said, looking down for just a moment.

“N-no,” Thomas lied. “Not really.”

“Huh. Alright then,” the boy exhaled, moving on.

Thomas thinks about everything. He thinks about finals, and parties, and drinking, and smoking, and girls, and England, and cars, and boys, and Sonya, and papers, and keys, and Minho, and June, and fast food, and laughing, and Teresa, and knowing, and wanting, and Newt, and driving, and running, and Newt, and Newt, and Newt.

A strange paradox builds in Thomas, two opposing ropes tearing at his lungs. Part of him feels what he can only describe as “pre-missing,” longing for things that hadn’t even left yet. He is still in his bed, in his dorm, in his college, and yet he feels like he is not there at all. He feels very far away, and he suddenly misses his friends and his classes terribly. He’s almost heartbroken over the thought of it.

The other part of him, the insane, stubborn, and immature part of him, wants to get as absolutely far away from this college as possible. Within a few weeks, he would be gone from this place forever. And the longer he lays in bed, feeling both here and not here, the harder it will be to leave.

So why not leave now? He finds himself thinking. The less time I spend on campus, the easier it will be when I actually go. Maybe I should just sleep in my car.

(But then he goes back to Newt, because that boy has a rope tied around Thomas’ neck that he lazily tugs on whenever Thomas hasn’t thought about him for more than 10 seconds.)

I can’t leave campus. I’ve only got a couple more weeks before he leaves. At least all my other friends will still be in California. I can’t fly to England. And I know he isn’t coming back here.

Thomas suddenly finds himself with his keys in his hand. He doesn’t remember getting out of bed, and he certainly doesn’t remember how he got outside Newt’s apartment complex.

“Guess it’s a now or never sort of thing, right?” Thomas hears Newt’s voice ring in his ears, vibrating against his skull like church bells.

Sorry, Gally, Thomas thinks, a sick sort of smile spreading on his face.

He locks his car and marches up to the familiar brown door of Newt’s apartment. He knocks on it so loudly that he startles himself by his aggressiveness. Newt will probably think he’s the campus police. Thomas is almost embarrassed but feels too much of a confidence and familiar stubbornness trembling in his fingers that he can’t be bothered with that right now.

A couple rounds of knocks later, Newt finally opens the door, his hair matted on one side and fluffed up on the other. Thomas is grateful that Newt answered instead of one of his roommates, who he’s convinced hate him. He decides to speak before Newt can start asking questions.

“Road trip.” 

Newt blinks. “What?”

“Road trip. Right now. Let’s go.”

“Wait wait wait, hold on a minute,” Newt starts, dragging his hand across his eyes. “Slow down. What time is it?”

“Um,” Thomas stutters, unsure. He clicks his phone and sees the bright white numbers 4:37 stare back at him. “Like 4:30 ish.”

“Four thir-...are you trying to fall asleep at the wheel?”

Thomas deflates slightly, realizing the romanticized version of this in his head where he and Newt drive off into the sunrise never to return was probably not going to happen. 

“I’m-I’m awake,” Thomas insists. “I can drive.”

“Have you slept at all?” Newt crosses his arms and leans against the door in what Thomas suspects is mock irritation.

“Yes. Maybe. Well, no, but who cares! Let’s just...drive somewhere. Fuck it.”

Newt’s features soften as he sighs, lowering slightly. “Look, Tommy, you know that normally I would love to meet you and the gang for a fun trip to the town or something. But I’m bloody exhausted and I’m not about to have you pass out at the wheel.”

“Okay,” Thomas compromises, wheels turning. (Pun intended.) “Then we’ll leave later. I’ll get some sleep and come back.”

“Well, I’ve got a final due on Monday. That mean anything to ya?”

“I’ve got finals due, too. That’s never stopped us before.”

There’s a moment of silence as Newt stares at Thomas, eyes lasering in on him with emotions that Thomas can never read. If he could have one wish, it would be to have the ability to know what Newt is feeling, and not just on a surface level, or the vague answers Newt gives. But he’s convinced no one could do that.

Newt gives another sigh. “Okay. How long will we be gone?”

Forever? That work for you? “Two days?”

Newt blinks back. “One day.”

Thomas doesn’t even flinch, long used to compromising with Newt when dealing with his impulsive ideas. “Done.”

“You tell the others yet, or am I the first door you’ve knocked on?”

The others. Oh. Newt thought this was a group trip. 

Thomas briefly considers lying, claiming that all of the others couldn’t make it. Normally he couldn’t lie to Newt, but he’s got too much pride in him, too much sick and stubborn pride, to admit the true reason. So he tries a neutral approach.

“You remember how we took that drive together the first day of school? How we kind of just drove around, not knowing where anything was?”

Newt gives a soft, yet confused, smile in return. “Yeah. What about that?”

Thomas clenches his fists so he stops shaking. “Well, it’s kind of like that. First I was scared about school starting, and now I’m scared about it ending. So I wanna drive. You know how I get.”

It’s a nothing answer, and Thomas knows that. But all he cares about is that he said the right words to get Newt to give in, which he does like clockwork.

“Alright. Fine. Let’s go on a road trip. That’s all we do, anyway.”

all we do is think about the feelings that we hide.

Thomas feels as giddy as a child going to Disney as he lovingly tosses his backpack into the backseat. His (unknown) destination was not nearly as exciting, but that wasn’t what mattered. He cared about the company quite a bit more.

“Coffee,” is all Newt says as he drags his hand down his face. Thomas looks over at his obviously tired eyes and feels a quick pang of guilt hit his chest. 

He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be, Thomas tells himself. It works for now.

“Typical spot?” Thomas asks, even though he knows the answer.

“Sure, if we’re going that way,” Newt offers.

“We are now,” Thomas remarks before setting out of the parking lot. 

It is now 8:30 AM. Thomas knows that Newt only got in the car because he thinks Thomas got enough sleep to drive. Thomas knows he can drive; he’s certainly awake enough to do that. But sleeping...that wasn’t something he was able to do so well.

Part of it was because he still felt that itch to leave immediately. And it’s oh, so hard for Thomas not to impulsively act on all of his urges. But, for Newt, he shoved his car keys into his desk drawer where he couldn’t see them and attempted to get some semblance of sleep. Normally he wasn’t a fan of waking up early in the morning but again, for Newt, he was willing.

Thomas pulls into the parking spot next to the closest gas station to campus. It’s one of those fancy ones that’s connected to a coffee shop. 

“I’m gonna get myself a cup,” Newt says, one hand on the door handle. “You get us some snacks, yeah?”

“Easy,” Thomas dismisses as he exits the car. “My specialty.”

“Something with a hint of nutritional value would be nice.”

“It would be, wouldn’t it?” Thomas smirks as he closes the door.

Five minutes pass before Thomas plops his bundle of goodies onto the counter, relieved of the weight off his arms. The cashier looks down at his haul with a hint of a smirk on her face.

“Another trip, huh?” She remarks as she rings up the first bag of Hot Cheetos. 

“Probably the last,” Thomas simultaneously says and realizes. This must be the last gas station snack stop he’ll ever make, at least under these circumstances. He’s immediately filled with a whirlwind of other potential lasts; last time taking a test, last time going to their favorite bar, last time seeing the $2 movie on Tuesdays. He starts longing for the things he hasn’t lost yet, then remembers that he’s in a social situation and needs to not have a breakdown in front of his favorite cashier.

“Can I also get a pack of Marlboro’s?” he asks. “Almost forgot.”

“Almost reminded you,” the cashier quips back. She grabs them from somewhere where Thomas knows she had them ready as soon as he came in. “He’s gonna need them with all those finals coming up, I bet.”

“Hell, maybe I’ll even steal one,” Thomas jokes. The cashier laughs with him, but both of them know it’s not true.

The cashier finishes bagging all of Thomas’ items and hands him the receipt. He’s sure he’ll stop by here once more for gas or a quick drink before graduation, but something about this trip feels so final, so definitive. He’s not sure if that’s reality or if he’s just dramatizing everything again. He still decides to make his goodbye seem a little more personal. 

“Thanks a lot, Mary,” he settles on, knowing she isn’t wearing her nametag today or any day.

“Any time,” she responds with a kind smile.

Thomas walks outside to see Newt leaning against the wall, sipping his coffee out of his favorite, sticker-covered thermos. He turns to Thomas and eyes the bulky plastic bag in his hand.

“I’m afraid of what you’ve picked out,” he jokes. “It might kill me.”

“The only thing that’s killing you are these,” Thomas replies, tossing him the Marlboro’s. 

“Oh, thanks, mate,” Newt smiles as if surprised. Somehow he is every time. “I’ll square with you where we stop next.”

It’s so routine, so intrinsic, that it hurts. Is this the last pack of Marlboro’s he’ll toss Newt? And why should that even matter?

“Alright,” Thomas says, getting back into the car. “Let’s drive.”

[avelera]

more body positive stuff, but this time with hermann? he’s always been insecure about how scrawny he is and how bony his limbs are but newt just can’t get over how elegant and beautiful his boyfriend is!!!

Hey there, Anon! I combined your prompt with a second one which I’ll list below the cut. This got kinda long (3k words, sigh) but I hope I hit what you’re looking for!

On the Risks (and Benefits) of Pillow Talk 

Also available on Ao3

Ship: Newt/Hermann

Words: ~3,000

Timeline: Soon after their Drift - I wanted to write the smut scene between them first but eh, unfortunately this is very T/PG-13 rated and the smut scene will come another day :)

Prompt 2: Can you talk a bit more about Hermann’s realization that he has a bit of a thing for more ample bodies? Did he slowly notice that his secret crushes had certain things in common? Did it hit him suddenly during a meeting? Was it something that he had to hide since he was a child? Is it something he’s found adult videos of before deleting his browser history? Enquiring minds want to know the whole story 😉

–

They lay there, panting side by side, nude on the bed, and even if it wasn’t the first time, Hermann still found himself staring up at the ceiling as his heart rate slowed, trying to figure out how this has become his life. How it had actually come to this after years of alternating between furious at Newton to furious at himself for not being able to relinquish the lingering desire he felt since they’re only known each other as a signature at the end of a page. 

Most humiliating had been the desire that would throb at the most inopportune times. Moments when they were in one another’s face, screaming themselves hoarse, when it would suddenly come over Hermann how badly he wanted to have Newton screaming for an entirely different reason and he would scoff and sputter and storm off, only hoping that Newt would take his departure as a reaction to his monument stupidity rather than the truth of Hermann’s own shameful lack of self control.

Thanks to the Drift, he could now see that a loss of self-control would have probably been the best thing he could have done at the time. They could have been shagging one another silly for years.

Newt sighed in contentment and rolled over to press up against Hermann, planting what he suspected were deliberately messy kisses against his shoulder. Newt’s hand swept up and down Hermann’s scrawny, concave chest, down to the sharp jut of his hipbone down to his thin legs. At least Newt’s wasn’t touching the mess of surgical scars on his left hip or the mangled bone beneath it. Not that Newton had ever made any gesture, or even a whisper that he was put off by the scars, but Hermann can’t help but feel…

“God, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” Newt muttered against his skin. “What are these fucking dancer legs, man? I feel like I kidnapped the premier danseur of the fucking Paris Ballet.” Newt lifted Hermann’s good leg at the knee and stroked his hand up and down the calf while laving more kisses against his skin.

Hermann scoffed, “Like you’ve ever attended the ballet.”

“Fuck you, I spent my summers stuck on the opera circuit as a kid, you uncultured swine. I know what I’m about,” Newt said. “Which is why I know this is fucking superb.” Newt crawled up to bracket Hermann on all fours, peppering more kisses against his neck and down to his chest while his hand traced up and down his side. “But what I don’t know is what you’re doing with a slob like me. Must be my dazzling personality.”

Hermann’s eyes fluttered open as he frowned. His mouth went dry every time he saw Newton naked, at the rounded muscles of his arms and the swell of his stomach and his hips and his thighs. Hermann could feel himself stirring even so soon after the last round just thinking about Newton’s body. “Don’t be absurd, I think we both know who would win a theoretical beauty contest, much as it pains me to stroke your ego.”

“Fake compliments? Dr. Gottlieb, I’m all aflutter!” Newt said between kisses, muffling half his words with each peck. “Especially that you would up and lie like a lying liar just to make me feel better.”

Newt’s been happier, far more relaxed since they closed the Breach. Hermann imagined a similar mood was sweeping the world right now. As for himself, dispatching an existential threat on the same night as all of one’s sexual tension had admittedly lifted even his mood. Newton was a bottomless well of delight and exuberance in the bedroom, far more enthusiastic than any of Hermann’s past partners. He’d simply assumed it was the Drift, or Newton’s general attitude of respect towards Hermann’s disability and familiarity with his overall…demeanor. After  five years of working closely together, the man was in all likelihood simply not phased by all of Hermann’s failings, not that it had stopped all of their petty sniping. 

Hermann frowned and pushed himself up on his elbows. “Do not call me a liar,” he said querulously.

“But you are though. Except like a handsome one so I’ll put up with it this time,” Newt said and kissed up to Hermann’s lips, now within reach. Hermann continued to frown and did not return it. “Ok, what is it now? Are you seriously mad at me for having even a trace of modesty? I thought we were still in the honeymoon period.”

“You’re not a…a slob, Newton, unless you were referring to your office organization habits,” Hermann said. “You’re obviously more attractive than I, and either you are teasing me on the matter, which I do not appreciate and quite violates the so-called honeymoon period, or you believe that to be true and I will not permit you to project such a wrong-headed belief onto me.”

“Wait. Wait a minute, are we…” Newt paused, “seriously having a fight about who is hotter right now?”

“We’re not fighting, it’s a statement of fact,” Hermann retorts.

“Oh my god. Ok, just so you know, this is officially the dumbest argument we’ve ever had, and we’ve had some doozies. First of all, what are you, twelve? Second, you hit all the bases for conventionally attractive, borderline supermodel, dude, if you’d just dress like it once in a while. Those cheekbones, those hands, your shoulders,” Newt punctuated each statement by kissing the offending body part, “you’ve got the willowy, Victorian consumptive look down pat. I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re built like a dancer. Probably the only reason you’re with me is the hot girl effect. Y’know when you’re so hot everyone’s intimidated so only the gross, loud-mouthed guy is dumb enough to give it a shot. Eh, that and you’ve gone way out of your way to hide all this. Then there’s your personality, I mean, you might as well just put up a stop sign…”

“Stop it,” Hermann snapped.

Newt’s lip twitched, but he did stop and held up his palm in surrender. “Sorry, man, old habits. I gotta remember one of these days that I don’t have to pull your pigtails to get you to notice me anymore. Not when I’ve already got you in bed by some fucking miracle.”

Hermann’s lips worked as he choked past his fury, “Not about me, you imbecile, you think after five years together in that lab I can’t handle a petty jab? I meant stop putting yourself down when it is so blatantly untrue. The Newton Geiszler I know didn’t need to resort to false self-deprecation when the truth is obvious for anyone to see. This is frankly the worst kind of arrogance.”

Hermann shifted onto his side to face away from Newton, to give himself a moment to cool down if Newton didn’t begin to wheedle for forgiveness immediately and curl up against his back while whispering nonsense endearments like, don’t be like that, baby. Not that Hermann would ever admit to enjoying the pestering.

Instead, the bed shifted as Newt bounded from one side of Hermann to the other. He landed hard on his side and stared intently into Hermann’s eyes like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Hermann recoiled, his lips curled down in displeasure and he moved to shift the other way before Newt’s hand curled around his bicep to stop him. “Hold on a second, I’m a little mixed up here. Which part are you mad at me about, the part where I used to lie about how sexy I was in front of you because I was an insecure piece of shit who enjoyed riling you up, or the part where I thought we were over that now so I’ve started telling it like it is?”

“The part where you know very well which of us drew looks around the Shatterdome and it wasn’t me. If it wasn’t for your obnoxious mouth, I have no doubt you would have had suitors lining up outside our lab,” Hermann groused but softened at the confusion on Newt’s face and sighed. “It’s very kind of you to compliment me like that, Newton. Lord knows, I should simply shut up and enjoy it when you make an effort like that, but I think we both know what we have is more… cerebral. There are few minds that can keep up with yours, or with your nonsense, and that allows you to overlook the fact I’m certainly no catch. As you so generously pointed out, my personality forbids others from getting close, my leg means most either try to ignore me for their own comfort or treat me as if I were made of glass, and even besides that I look as skeletal and undernourished as I have since I was a youth. I simply can’t keep the weight on, let alone muscle. Even without my leg I never would have advanced in the Jaeger Academy for that alone.”

“Wow, that’s…” Newton squinted at Hermann, then did the little head tilt Hermann was familiar with when Newt had decided to try a different avenue of experimentation. “Ok, so what do you think of me? Like, my body? You’ve never really brought it up before and actually I’m realizing that’s kinda weird because you’ve brought up literally every other flaw I have under the sun before today.”

Hermann blushed and couldn’t prevent it. It was easier to look away and he trailed his finger tips down the sheet as he eyed Newton’s tattoos, which he would rather be touching. But no, they were supposed to be having a tiff. “Oh, very well, I’ll play along. It’s not as if it’s a secret that I find you attractive, our activities here should be testament to that, nor that I have for many years. I had to wank off twice before I was in a fit state to leave my room the day I received your polaroid, though I’m sure you saw all that in the Drift.”

Newt made a strangled noise and Hermann glanced up to find him wide-eyed. “No?”

“Nope!” Newt squeaked. His cheeks were pink to match Hermann’s own and that was a boost of confidence enough to keep him going with a secret smile to himself. Fine, he hadn’t given away all his darkest secrets in the Drift, but it was damned inconvenient to have to put words to what should have been the obvious and heretofore very inappropriate fact of his attraction to his lab partner.

“What else is there to say?” Hermann said and shifted in discomfort. “You might as well have been constructed in a lab to vex me personally. Your eyes, your hair, the way you bite your lip on those rare occasions when you stop yourself from speaking, your… your body, it’s…” he coughed, “very attractive.”

“Well, you’d be the fucking first to think so,” Newt muttered under his breath. “Ok, so we’re gonna have to revisit the jerking off to my picture thing, but I gotta ask, in the spirit of scientific inquiry: what the fuck? Why? Assuming you’re not just messing with me, I’d like to hear more about this very attractive thing. Not just for the ego stroke. I’ll take the ego stroke, I’ll take any kind of stroke you wanna give me in about fifteen more minutes, heh, but I gotta admit, dude, this is a little… new for me?”

Any other time, Hermann might have scoffed and rolled his eyes at Newton’s blatant fishing for praise. But there was a hesitance to his words, a puppy-like inquisitiveness in the way he looked up at Hermann’s face. There was no hint of the usual bravado.

Hermann exhaled and allowed his hand to drift over the curve of Newton’s soft stomach, tracing it so he felt the goosebumps pebble on Newton’s skin, obscured by the colorful tattoos. It was soothing to touch and helped calm his nerves enough to speak frankly. “You must understand, this has been a—a closely guarded part of me, I daresay a secret, for so long I’m not even sure I have the words for it. I find your body desirable. My own… has betrayed me again and again. Even before my leg, my father used me as an example to torment my siblings. I’ve always been bony like this, but he saw skinniness as a virtue, as if it were in any way intentional. I know you’re an only child so you perhaps don’t understand the experience of being pitted in competition with your siblings against your will, but I had very few friends. They were all I had and yet everything about me, my intellect, my accomplishments, and as I said my body were used to put distance between us in order to serve as some sort of motivation for their perceived success. But there’s nothing special  in what I am. Even without my leg I’ve never found my appearance terribly attractive. But yours…” 

Hermann shrugged. “You’re beautiful. Unselfconscious, healthy… there, you see? There’s barely a vocabulary in our language that doesn’t sound like backhanded compliments. I find you desirable. I find your arms and your stomach and your legs all the more so for your weight, the way others have been socialized to admire musculature that can only be achieved by a degree of exercise so obsessive it borders on self-harm, or the leanness that comes with self-starvation. I’ve always thought it was as natural as any other attraction, only to be mocked for my tastes whenever I dared express them, or be told that I was acting on a lack of options when nothing could not be further from the truth. When I saw your photo, I was taken aback by how instantaneous the attraction was. I already knew your mind, your personality, and then I discovered you were also handsome and sexually attractive to me as well. It was a deadly combination. By the time I saw you in person, I was so convinced you couldn’t desire me in return, the way I wanted so terribly, that I assumed your flirtations couldn’t be anything but mockery. You of course know the rest.”

“Yeah…” Newt trailed off at the memory of that disastrous first meeting, then grinned. “So, you dig the chub?”

Hermann huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes. “If you must put it in such terms, yes.”

“So is it like a feeding thing or a bursting out of clothes thing…? Don’t look at me like that, man, I’ve been on the internet.”

Hermann hadn’t thought he could blush any harder but he was proven wrong. “No! Not… not necessarily. I know what you mean, I… I won’t say I’m not aware of that subculture, or haven’t found some of their erotica titillating, would you stop snickering?”

“I’m sorry!” Newt gasped. “I should have asked you about porn before, oh my god, if you could see your face right now!”

“I’m trying to answer your question on what is a very difficult subject for me, Newton. Would you do me the courtesy of not mocking me for doing so the way everyone else has?”

Newton’s teeth clicked shut and his eyes widened. He then nodded for Hermann to go on.

Yet Hermann found himself at a loss. “Well, but as I said, it’s merely erotica. Fantasy. I would never encourage a partner to engage in dangerous behavior for my gratification, nor would I want to humiliate them the way much of that art does. I find the very idea abhorrent. But I can’t change what I find attractive and I confess, Newton, it never occurred to me that you were declaring anything but simple truth when you called yourself a stud or a rockstar just to infuriate me.” He offered a weak smile at the last and though he knew Newton, as intimately as it was possible to know another person, a part of him still clenched in anticipation of the inevitable rejection and mockery for baring himself so.

Newt hummed thoughtfully. “I guess that makes me a lucky sonofabitch then, huh?”

Hermann blinked. “That’s it? You don’t mind?”

“Yeah, I totally mind that your particular bone means I’m a sex god to you, it’s a real tragedy. I dunno, it may take some getting used to, the idea I mean, but it’s kinda like hitting the jackpot would take getting used to. You’re not going to turn around and tell me to drop the junk food or start training with the Jaeger pilots one of these days like some of my other, uh, past experiences that didn’t end so great.”

“I might if I feared for your health,” Hermann shrugged. “But for pure aesthetics? No.” He forced himself not to fidget. He still felt utterly exposed to be speaking this frankly.

“Score. ‘Cause I’ve tried, man, none of this is gonna change even if I put myself through hell. I’m just built like this. Which I guess isn’t a problem for you,” Newt added thoughtfully. “Ok, so now that you’ve got that out, will you maybe consider that I also think you’re hot as fuck too?”

“It’s a relationship, Newton, compliments don’t need to be transactional,” Hermann scoffed.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you sometimes. I’m not lying, Hermann! You’re hot! I’m into you, maybe it’s the other side of the whole thing you’ve got in your head, but you’re tall and elegant and… fucking lithe, like I need 19th century poetry to describe you. You’ve got the weirdest mouth I’ve ever seen and I’m so hot for it, like I felt funny just looking at you frowning up at your chalkboard some days. When you smile, your whole face transforms, and I could drown in your eyes if you’re not wearing those stupid granny glasses, and… mmmph!”

Hermann pulled away from kissing Newt to frown at him. “I think we’ve had quite enough of that.”

“You’re blushing! You really can’t handle compliments, huh?”

“Perhaps I’d rather save them up, instead of exhausting you on them all at once,” Hermann said and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, don’t worry, babe, I’m nowhere near exhausted.” Newt grinned.

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

The Good Life: Chapter 3

Hello, my lovelies! This chapter has been sitting nearly-finished for well over a week now, but the last two weeks for me have been absolute shit and it’s been hard enough keeping up with daily life and what’s going on in the real world, let alone finding time to edit this chapter and/or post regularly, so please forgive me! This story is just starting to pick up and work closer towards all the fun stuff we’ve all been waiting for, so I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Need to get caught up? The Good Life: Ch1 and Ch2

If you want to be added (or removed) from the tags list for this story, just feel free to let me know!

@pink-royaute @believethaticanandiwill @milllott @likeashootingstarfades @i-dream-of-emus

The Good Life: Chapter 3

Rae logged off of her computer and waited for it to shut off before standing up from her desk chair and stretching her legs after having been sitting down at work for most of the day.

“So, any fun plans for the weekend?” Rae asked.

“Yes, actually!” Anna replied, “I’m meeting a group of people at the pub for drinks once everyone gets off work in a couple hours.”

“Oh! That should be fun!”

“You’re totally welcome to join us as well, if you’d like. It’s gonna be a bunch of people from work and I think most people are bringing other friends or their significant others and stuff, so you’d be more than welcome too!”

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m already running late for my dinner plans as it is.”

“Rae Earl...do you have a date tonight? Who is the lucky boy...or girl, I don’t judge, I promise!”

“It’s not a date,” Rae laughed as the pair walked towards the staircase and began walking down to the ground level, “I’m meeting up with my friend that I’m going to be roommates with once I move out of my current apartment. We’ve been trying to meet up for a week in order to discuss all the logistics of our little arrangement.”

“Oh, damn...I was really hoping you had a date tonight. I can’t even recall the last time you went out on a date, Rae!”

“Excuse you! I go on plenty of dates, Anna, I don’t need your pity!”

“When was the last date you went on?” Anna asked in challenge as she held the door of the building open for her coworker.

“Uh...I think it was, like...whatever, I don’t need to justify myself to you! I’m just glad I finally found a roommate!”

“Alright, I’ll drop the dating topic for now. But as soon as you get your new living situation sorted, operation ‘get Rae a date or at least get her laid’ begins!”

“Ugh, you are simply incorrigible,” Rae replied with an eye roll, “Have fun at the pub and if Calvin tries to climb on the table and serenade Ronnie again, make sure that you get it on video and send it to me, alright?”

“Will do! Have fun discussing apartment stuff and being a boring adult!” Anna replied with a wink as she walked a bit further in the parking lot towards where she had parked.

Rae pulled out her cell phone as she climbed into her car and send a quick text apologizing for running late and letting Finn know that she was on her way before starting the car and driving to their agreed upon meeting location.

When Rae arrived at the restaurant, she could see Finn sitting alone in a booth on the far side of the restaurant, looking visibly uncomfortable with whatever the waitress was saying to him.

“Hiya! Sorry I’m late,” Rae replied with a huff as she sat on the opposite side of the booth facing Finn.

“Rae! You made it!” Finn replied with a visibly relieved smile as some of the tension in his shoulders dissipated.

“I’ll just give you two a moment to look over the menus and then I’ll come back,” the waitress replied curtly as she glanced at Rae before walking away from the table.

“I’m ten minutes late and you’re already chatting up other girls and trying to replace me, huh?” Rae joked as she took a sip of the water that Finn must have ordered for her before she arrived.

“Hardly,” Finn chuckled humorlessly, “She’s been talking to me about how she is sure that she knows me from somewhere but she can’t quite place where since before you texted me that you were on your way. You quite literally saved me from having to continue that conversation out of politeness for another minute.”

Rae chuckled as she picked up her menu and casually flipped through the pages.

“I’ve never been here before,” Rae said when she looked up from her menu and noticed Finn had not been looking at his own menu, “What do you normally get here?”

“I dunno. I don’t go here often, since it’s a bit classier of a place than I tend to frequent,” Finn muttered as he glanced around at the other patrons who were dressed business casual and sipping glasses of wine before looking down at his own more casual clothing, “but it seemed like the kind of place where we could hang out for a while and actually hear each other while we talk.”

“I agree, it’s nice and quiet here...sort of intimate and cozy, I guess, but I like it.”

“I’ve heard great things about their pizzas, so I was considering getting one,” Finn said as he opened his menu to the page listing their pizzas, “We can share a pizza, if you’d like, but I don’t know what toppings you’d want on it.”

“That sounds good to me. I trust your judgement and I’m sure whatever toppings you choose will be fine, so just surprise me!”

When the waitress came by, Finn placed the order for their pizza and the waitress left promptly to put in the order.

“So... I guess we’re roommates now or something, huh?”

“Looks like it, yeah, unless you’ve realized your mistake and want to change your mind.” Finn agreed with a small smile.

“You couldn’t be so lucky,” Rae replied, “Though I’m not sure how to feel about the gang’s reaction to us becoming roommates.”

“Well, I’ve talked to Archie since then and he said that he was worried about us moving in together because he mentioned that moving in with close friends doesn’t always work out or something. Like it can either work out really well or really badly but you won’t know until you’ve already committed. And I’m sure that Chloe was just looking out for ya and being over protective because you’re her best mate.”

“That makes sense. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too certain about being roommates when you first brought it up, but now that I’ve had some time to think it over, I have a really good feeling this.” Rae said with a smile as she reached for her glass of water to take a sip.

“I’m glad. So, we have a lot of apartment and roommate related things to discuss, don’t we?”

“Yeah, we do. I have my laptop with me so we can look into some places online if you want to, but we should first sort out some of the logistics and stuff, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me. I’ve never looked for an apartment too seriously before, so I don’t completely know what I’m doing, but I’m sure we can figure this out.”

“This is my fourth time apartment hunting, so I know the drill!”

“Fourth time? Oh wow! I’m in the midst of a professional, it seems,” Finn joked.

“Damn right you are!” Rae added with a chuckle, “Back to the task at hand, move-in dates for the apartment. What are you thinking?”

“Well doesn’t your current lease end really soon?”

“In about a month, yeah, but I can always couch hop for a while if need be,”

“I don’t want you to have to do that. I’m ready to move in as soon as we find a place or whatever dates work best for you.”

“Alright...and just to be sure, you’re alright with splitting all our shared bills evenly, right?”

“Of course!”

“Good, just checking. I’ve had roommates before that weren’t so eager to pay their share.”

“That’s bullshit. I’m more than willing to pay my half of all the bills in addition to helping with any furniture or nonessential stuff that we may want.”

“God, you’re already one of the best roommates I’ve ever had!” Rae joked.

One of the other waitresses brought their pizza to the table and Rae and Finn continued discussing some of the basic information they needed to cover while eating, pleasantly surprised at how well-deserved the praise about the pizzas at this restaurant was.

When they finished eating and their plates had been cleared from the table, Rae pulled her laptop from her purse and powered it on.

“Do ya mind if I sit on the booth next to you so I can see what you’re looking at on your laptop as well?”

“Not at all. Come on over!” Rae replied as she slid further into the booth and angled her laptop so Finn would be able to see it as well.

Finn sat down beside Rae and scooted closer to her so he could look over her shoulder to get a better look at what was on the screen of her laptop in front of her.

“So what are some of your apartment deal breakers or things that you’d like it to have?” Rae asked once she had pulled up one of her favorite apartment hunting websites.

“Er, I don’t know. Suppose I never really thought about it,” Finn mumbled.

“Well, we know we’re looking for a two-bedroom two-bathroom, right? Close to the city...in range of our combined budget...that covers all the basics. What cool features would you like?” Rae asked as she entered those criteria into the apartment search options.

“Uh, a nice kitchen?”

“Do you cook a lot?” Rae asked with a slight tone of surprise in her voice.

“No, well not really, but I know that you do...”

“Oh! Well, you’re not wrong. I’ll add ‘nice kitchen’ to our wish list! I would also like to have some type of a balcony or patio area, if possible. Is that alright?”

“Of course, Rae, I want you to have a say in the apartment you’ll be living in as well. I’m putting my complete faith in your ability to find a decent apartment for us.”

“Challenge accepted,” she replied with a small smile, “I think we have a few decent options that we can look into more. Are you free this weekend to go tour a couple of these available apartments together or would you prefer that we each do that on our own time?”

“We can do it together,” Finn replied eagerly, “I’ll free up my weekend so we can go do this!”

“Okay, perfect! I don’t know about you, but I’m really starting to get excited about living together!”

“It’s not just you,” Finn replied with his signature crooked smile, “how about a celebratory drink to being roommates and making progress to getting an apartment together? My treat...”

“Trying to win my heart with offers of free booze? This whole ‘roommate’ thing might work out even better than I thought!” Rae joked as Finn left the table with a laugh to place their drink order at the bar on the other side of the restaurant.

A/N: I wanted to get to the last of the boring stuff in this chapter so in Chapter 4 we could jump right into the fun of Finn and Rae being roommates, but I thought it made this chapter drag on too long and there was too much skipping around and I didn’t like the way it changed the flow of the chapter, so I’ve decided to prolong the plot building for at least one more chapter after this. In the grand scheme of the story as a whole, I can assure you that 4 plot building chapters will seem pretty insignificant, since this story is gonna be a long one haha.

I feel like I always say this, but whenever y’all reply to the stories/chapters I post or add commentary, it makes my day and gives me such an ego boost, so I can never thank all of you enough.

With that being said, the winner for “Best Comment” on the last chapter is:

I didn’t even make the connection between that vine and this story, but when I saw this reply I laughed and showed my roommate (oh yeah, did I mention that this story is inspired by my irl roommate right now? Because yeah, it sort of is, lol).

Life has been super rough on me these past couple weeks and it seems that as soon as I’m able to move past something bad that happened to me, something else bad happens and things keep getting worse...but I’m trying to get a grip on my life again and trying to come back to some baseline level of shitty-ness in life that is manageable, so even though I missed posting a chapter last week, I’m gonna try to get back to my weekly posting or something similar.

Enough of Sarah rambling about stuff no one cares about...Until next time: Stay awesome, my friends! :)

[kyloxmoegi1993]

The Meeting Part 2

The past few days that Lacie had had off were like a mini vacation to her. She had told Sarah, her best friend that she had known for a very long time, all about the encounter with the CEO known as Cayde-6. Sarah wasn't much of a romantic person but she actually encouraged Lacie to see him again but urged her to also be careful.

She wanted to see him again. Something about him drew her to him and she still hadn't been able to figure it out. Sighing, the dark haired woman walked into the hospital and was greeted by her friends as she walked in then saw on her desk a vase of flowers with a small card placed inside the various types of flowers. Walking around and into the work area she looked confused as her co workers eyed her curiously.

The flowers were a mix of sunflowers, red roses, and some pink carnations. Interesting combination, she thought to herself. Kalia, her work sister rolled over and elbowed her

"Well? What does the note say girl. I'm assuming these are from a guy."

Giggling she took out the note and opened it

'Lacie, thank you for the wonderful evening. Seriously don't worry about my scarf and don't worry about you know unintentionally calling me an asshole. I seriously had an amazing time and I hope to do it again. If you ever have some spare time come see me sometime. I'm on the top floor in suite 450. See you soon ;)'

Blushing, Lacie handed the note to her friend and watched kalia smirk like a predator about to pounce on it's prey.

"ooooooo you little minx. Snagging the eyes of a big wig CEO. You'd better take that delightful derriere over there right now."

"Please. I have to work."

The dark haired woman reached out to grab her chair when suddenly kalia kicked her chair out of the woman's grasp.

"I'll cover for you. You haven't seen anyone since what's his face. Goodbye. Text me later."

Lacie opened her mouth to argue and sighed knowing it was useless. Kalia had a way of always winning.

"Alright alright. I'm going. I owe you one Kali."

The blonde woman waved her off and Lacie stepped outside and looked up at the sky. Exhaling she made her way across the street and walked inside the huge building.

*With Cayde*

Cayde was listening to his partner drone on in some boring meeting he wasn't really paying attention to when Sundance appeared and showed him some security footage, causing him to sit up suddenly.

Without saying anything cayde got up and started walking out.

"Cayde. This conversation is not yet concluded." Barked the blue skinned man who looked like he could charge a brick building and do more harm to the building than himself.

"Oh it is now. Something has come up."

Getting out of the room Cayde had Sundance appear again.

"What was the timestamp on that video?"

"About five minutes ago. It's refreshing seeing you so head over heels for someone you only met once."

Cayde ignored the jab from his ghost and made his way to his office to make a phone call down to security.

"Hey Jonas. There's a woman that just walked in she's wearing a beige trenchcoat and has on scrubs. Snag her and escort her up to my office please. Thank you."

Not giving the security guard time to ask questions cayde hung up and set about fixing his office up a bit. He tended to be a bit messy but not too bad, still he wanted to give her a damn good impression.

Sitting down he set about to waiting but making himself look busy when Ikora, a tall woman with dark skin and eyes that seemed to look right through you, slipped into his office shutting the door.

"So, who is this mystery woman you're all worked up over?"

Cayde scoffed and played it off like he didn't know what she meant.

"Not a clue whachu mean Ikora. Unless you're talking about my girl Sundance."

The woman in charge of the warlocks class placed her hands on his desk and looked at him. The woman was about to ask one more time when there was a knock on the door and the security guard escorted Lacie into his office.

Ikora watched the way Cayde stood and how his eyes never left her and knew she was going to mean a lot to the EXO.

"We'll talk later six."

Winking she walked out leaving the CEO with the light skinned woman.

Looking around, Lacie met his gaze impressed.

"I never thought I'd be an office like this..it's so big..."

Cayde laned back slightly propping his butt on his desk watching her chuckled.

"It's alright I suppose. I take it you received my gift."

She looked at him lightly blushing,"Yes.... thank you so much...you didn't have to send those.."

"Not send a beautiful woman flowers? The horror."

Together they laughed and a few minutes later a silence came across them.

"So um...Mr. Six..may I ask why you wanted me to come see you?"

Looking at her slightly surprised he looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. Why had he wanted to see her? The very thought of seeing her had made him feel something he hadn't felt in a very long time and he found himself growing anxious with each passing day he hadn't heard from her. Now that she was here, he just wanted to stay in her presence for as long as he possibly could.

"I wanted you to see that I wasn't that bad. I also wanted to see if you'd be interested in going on another date.."

Blinking surprised, Lacie looked at the EXO.

"Wait....are you serious...?"

Cayde nodded and eyed her nervously but tried to keep a straight face so she wouldn't know how much he wanted her to say yes.

Lacie looked at him and shyly nodded her head as her face turned a light pink.

"Okay.... I'd like that...only if I can choose the restaurant."

Supposing that was fair, Cayde nodded in agreement.

"Where did you have in mind?"

He thought for sure she was fixing to name off a couple of fancy places. He hated dressing up and going to places like that, but if it was what she wanted he would suck it up.

"Ramen. I wanna go to the spicy ramen shop."

Now it was Caydes turn to look surprised and he vocalized as such as well.

"Here I thought you'd want to go somewhere upscale instead."

A frown crossed her face, her eyebrows pinching together. Shit he'd insulted her. He didn't mean to but he's used to women using him for his money...

"I'd rather eat a restaurant we both like and that we'll both be comfortable eating at than elsewhere. I don't need to be wined and dined."

The EXO smiled and stood up straight walking towards her and he had to stop himself from touching her cheek the way he wanted to. He so wanted to cup her face with one hand and kiss her, but they still barely knew one another. He wanted to take things slow with her and see where it went. Sticking his hands in his pockets he nodded.

"Sounds good to me. Tomorrow night at let's say...6?"

She looked up at him with dark blue eyes and he saw so much in her eyes. Fear, a spark of interest, hope, and hesitation...the fear and hesitation is what he was cautious of. Something had happened to her in the past that caused her to have that kind of reaction and he had a feeling it wasn't going to be easy to get past those defenses she had put up.

"I was hoping this afternoon would be a good time to do a second date since I was given the day off."

He smiled at her again chuckling, "I can see what I can do. Why don't you have a seat and make yourself comfortable while I go wrap some things up."

Making quick work of letting Zavala and Ikora know he was leaving for the day he headed back towards his office when he saw Lacie talking to a couple of his Hunter's.

"Jordan, Katarina. You're back early from your overseas trip."

The blonde female turned and smiled, "You're making our missions too easy boss. And also we like this girl. You should hire her on. See ya later lace. Come on Jo leave the girl alone."

Pulling her partner away from Lacie the pair disappeared.

"What exactly do people who work here do?" Lacie asked timidly, still blushing from the encounter.

He had been waiting for this question and felt excitement ripple through all his circuits.

"Wanna see?"

Nodding she followed him taking his arm when he offered it to her and followed him down to a room full of television monitors.

"This is the control center, here is where I'm able to monitor my hunters coming and goings. Now what they do exactly is I assess them, determine where in the world they are needed and send them out to those locations and they do what the military can't. Titans and warlocks do the same thing but my hunters are meant for stealth, and other things."

Lacie looked at how passionately he talked about it but realized just how dangerous he was at the same time.

"So, if I'm reading between the lines correctly, you do assassination jobs and other dangerous jobs."

"What? Noooooooooo." He replied immediately causing the young woman to look at him sternly.

"Okay yeah...that's just scratching the surface of it though."

Equally impressed and slightly afraid she looked at this man that made her heart beat really fast and made her feel butterflies, she hadn't felt this way since...her ex. Shaking her head, she refused to go down this road again. A chime from her ghost startled her again and she saw a message from Shaxx. Sarah's boyfriend rarely messaged her unless it was important and she took her phone out and read the message.

"Oh God dammit Sarah. Mr. Six, I am so sorry, my best friend is in the hospital on the other side of town. I've gotta go."

"What? Well let me give you a ride. That's a long way to run."

Hesitating for a second she fought with herself then decided fuck it and agreed to let him take her.

Getting her into one f the limos l, they took off and cayde saw how worried she looked and reached over, holding her hand to comfort her.

"Tell me what happened."

Shaking but slowly relaxing she looked at him, "she...she was being stupid and reckless...my best friend is a bit of an adrenaline junkie and she was speeding on her motorcycle....racing some morons and she took a turn too hard and too fast...the car didn't see her...."

Cayde watched this woman start crying and knew he was not leaving her side. He moved from sitting across from her to sitting beside her and held her as she so bed into his chest.

"She'll be okay. I'll make sure of it Lacie...shhhh."

How he was going to accomplish this he had no clue but he was not going to let her sense that.

Arriving at the hospital she jumped out immediately and ran inside and in the waiting room he saw a tall, muscular man stand up and hold her close. He looked like he could crush even Zavala. After giving instructions to have his personal car brought here later to the driver cayde walked inside and over to Lacie.

The muscle builder guy looked at Cayde and then down at Lacie. "Is he with you?"

Lacie looked back at him slightly surprised and nodded, "Yes..Shaxx this is Mr. Cayde-6 CEO at the Tower and Mr. Six this is Lord Shaxx...or just Shaxx...he's Sarah's boyfriend."

Shaxx reached out and shook Caydes hand, intentionally squeezing a bit too hard. Cayde soon figured out this Shaxx was a big brother figure to Lace and had been for quite some time. This was gonna be an obstacle he was going to have to overcome later on but for now he was focused on Lacie and making sure she was okay.

"Nice to meet you Shaxx. I wish it were under better circumstances though."

Shaxx nodded and looked down solemnly.

"She's in surgery right now...I would have called but I was afraid of getting you in trouble...I'm sorry to have sent a text message.."

Touching his arm, Lacie comforted him, "No no it's okay Shaxx. It's okay...I'm here.. we're both here now. She'll make it...come on..let's sit."

After sitting there for a couple hours, Cayde woke Lacie up when the doctor came out taking his mask off.

Sitting up quickly, Lacie looked at the doctor and held Shaxx's hand.

Looking at the two of them the doctor finally spoke, "We....we did everything we could...I am sorry..."

"No...."

Cayde looked at the doctor then at Lacie and Shaxx.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!"

*End Part 2*

[writingonjorvik]

hey, do you have any thoughts on the inconsistency in writing character reactions in their quests sometimes, for example *gasp*, (you gasp) and -gasp- (i think i've seen a :O somewhere too)? (sorry, english is not my native language). love your blog x

I sure do but first: Your English is great, don’t apologize for it. English is a dumb, stupid language and half of its rules are based on math because people thought it was going to die off. I majored in English, so trust me on this, I speak a dumb language. It’s complicated for zero reason other than people are short-sighted and English-speakers have historically had an issue of not standardizing. Anyway.

As for the inconsistencies, that can have a lot of factors. You are remembering that correctly though, there is a dialogue box that has just :O as the text. And it was in a major story beat too! When we found out Anne was also in Pandoria, with the whole “One does not simply walk into Pandoria” meme reference.

And there’s the sticking point. A lot of SSO’s writing has gone through phases. Very early quests said damn before it was censored out for I imagine only the States (largest market to be fair, but still). There was a long period of time where spelling mistakes were very common (and still are in older quests). Now you’re more likely to hit a technical error and your name won’t load in properly, but not so much spelling mistakes. Early quest writing, like the very first stuff, was pretty basic, or kinda campy. Then it transitioned to being “Modern” with a lot of hip references (see the Mordor meme from earlier), and then there were parts where SSO came down hard on tropes. Loretta and Tan are the biggest relics of this. A lot of it has been rewritten now, but there was a time where the first time you met Loretta she was just kinda…meh, most popular girl but not awful to now where she’s a prime drama queen, It Girl trope. 

On the gasping thing, that seems to be a combination of these phases and also kinda a fault in storytelling for games. At least on a budget, which SSO, for an MMO, kinda is a lower budget game. Like film, you don’t really get in the head of the player character as much because unless it’s a character-driven narrative where the player isn’t just self-inserting, you can’t really do much on stage-direction. For comparison, Life Is Strange is a very character-driven story. We get a lot of thoughts in their heads because we’re not supposed to be Max, we are experiencing Max. Compare this to, say, Breath of the Wild, where Link is just a player insert and his personality is a moot point. So if everything is dialogue, how do you indicate stage direction, or actions, in just text?

Now, this is why I say SSO is kinda low budget. Because most game companies would animate the stage direction. Or if they don’t animate the models themselves, they would update the character icons in the text box, like in Harvest Moon games or in dating sims. The illustration indicates the mood, which removes the need for stage direction because it can be inferred. Or they would use voice acting to make the intent clear. And SSO does none of these things, so they have to write out a lame stage direction like gasp, which, just as a side tangent, takes away the dramatic reveal’s effect if we’re told we’re supposed to be surprised.

But as for that, and generally all of it being inconsistent, it’s because there isn’t a writing team for SSO, or at least it’s not listed anywhere on SSO’s credits. Which means whoever is doing the writing has another job too. There is no one dedicated just to writing, which isn’t uncommon in the industry, but it’s really stupid for a game like SSO where the primary focus is the story. It’s possible they bring in ghost writers, therefore they don’t need to credit, but that furthers the point of inconsistency. And I get to double back to my points about English and how SSO has no standardized tone to their storytelling. This doesn’t mean that their story is bad, but because they are dealing with a massive world that needs to be filled and there don’t appear to be any overall rules other than “Don’t be offensive” in the writing, style kinda gets thrown all over the place. There is no professional team, a group of writers, researchers, and editors, whose sole job is to write SSO’s quests and make sure it’s consistent with itself. So the job is likely pushed randomly onto artists and coders who are putting the text in themselves to write that dialogue. And when it’s their turn to do it, all they have to go on is their past times doing the writing. This later part is mostly speculation, but it’s based on how other companies have done this in the past.

If you do what to see what having a writing team can do for consistency and worldbuilding, might I suggest Skyrim. It’s a little broad for everything to be to be masterpiece writing, so there isn’t very much that I would consider particularly deep, but there is a massively wide area of topics covered and the writing is consistent within the world, even if some of it is subjectively bad. And it’s done by eight people. Here’s a fun video on it.

So, there are some thoughts.