#unless my sister wanted to take me when she visits but idk if it’ll even be playing

[summerhighlandfalls]

I also wanted to see look back in theatres but I #cantdrive and only know one other person who would want to see look back. And he #cantdrive

[djarrex]

omg i have an idea for your post order 66!rex series! so idk if you know this but one of the best ways to naturally induce labor is to have sex (my pregnant sister randomly told me this the other day, lmaooo). maybe you could do one with rex where his s/o is past her due date and they both decide to *you know* to get her going? 😏

Speeding Things Up

part of the Edge of Everywhere series // Rex x f!reader

<- previous || next ->

Rex has an idea on how to get the ball rolling since you’re a tad bit overdue.

EXPLICIT | 18+ only | about 1.7k words | pregnant!reader, piv sex to induce labor. of course there's fluff and softness because future dad!Rex ;)

Hope you all enjoy, and are ready for the next part! <3

"You know..." Rex comes up from behind you and begins to massage your shoulders - his back bending to where his head is beside yours as he continues with a sultry murmur, "I read up on something else we could try, you know, to naturally speed things up.”

You're a tad bit overdue, only by a couple of days, but you are uncomfortable; everything Rex has read and researched relating to what and how you're feeling, and even keeping track of the passing days from your last visit to a med center (which was months ago, just to confirm the sex of the baby - it’s not safe for you two to be be checking into med centers unless absolutely necessary), has led you two to come to that conclusion. Unable to help Rex tend to the infant crops as of late, you’ve been basically glued to the wooden rocking chair he’d built, sitting just out front of the house so you can be with him while he’s outside working. 

You're more than ready - it tends to get annoying when you’re out of breath after walking from one end of the small house to the other, and when you have to pee a million times a rotation. It could be any moment now, any day; there’s a medic, someone trusted who will help deliver the baby in the comfort and safety of your own home, on standby in the closest populated town - Rex had called in a favor with a friend to set that up.

Both of you are so eager to meet your little baby girl, and in his own exceptional excitement, Rex has already gotten you to try a few strange things in order to make that happen quicker. None of which had seemed to make a difference so far, though.

“Fuck, I’ll do anything,” you echo your statement from the other day with a huff. “Just want to get Priya out of here. She’s had more than enough time to cook in there. You hear me?” Tilting your head down towards your protruding belly, you speak to the little human who’s taking things at her leisure. “Time’s up, little one.”

“I don’t think scolding her will work,” Rex chuckles - taking your hands in his and pulling you to stand. With his palm on your lower back and another hand locked with yours, he guides you to the bed and sits you down. Kicking off his boots, he grins. “Orgasms,” he starts - you raise a brow. “They can lead to contractions, you know, to kickstart things.”

“Orgasms?” you repeat with a dubious smirk while putting extra emphasis on the plural. As he stalks towards you, your head lifts up until he’s standing between your legs and directly over you - his palms rubbing up and down your thighs.

“I don’t know how many it’ll take, but, I do know that I never give you just one per session.”

Yeah... he’s right about that.

“Well then what are you waiting for?” Laying back in presentation, breasts pushed out and legs falling to the sides, you coo, “Fuck me, Rex.”

Those soft eyes quickly darken - hunger and want lacing the beautiful golden hues within his irises. You’ve come to realize that no matter how much of a bantha you look or feel like, Rex will never not think that you’re the most beautiful person in this galaxy. You being full with his child... well, that only amplifies his ever increasing attraction to you. He’s said that you positively glow at times, making him want to drop everything right then and there so he can sink into your intoxicating heat or taste that inviting glow directly from the source.

Your leggings are being peeled off then tossed to the side, your new maternity tunic lifted up by the hem and pulled off your raised arms. Rex ogles at you - his lustful gaze slowly scanning every inch of your exposed, swollen flesh until stopping at the very evident damp patch at the crotch of your underwear.

“I would love to taste you, my beautiful wife.” Wetting his lips, Rex starts to work at this bottoms and removing his own tunic and accessories - his deep, gravelly voice sending a shiver of arousal through your body as he continues, “But I think it’s best to get right to it.” He’s already painfully hard - his greys tented at the front and pointing right at the target as he pulls your legs to bring you a little closer to the edge of the bed. Watching him in awe with your tongue poking out and sliding across your parted lips, he removes the only barriers left between your two naked bodies. His delicious cock springs free, bobbing up and down upon the release from its confines - throbbing in time with the quickening beat of his heart.

Fuck, you’d love to taste him too, but it’s like Rex said... it probably is best to get right to it.

A hand reaches to rest on top of your bump - his finger tracing the light marks that litter your overly-stretched skin. The heat of his cock radiates from where its waiting just an inch or so from your slicked folds.

“You’re so incredibly breathtaking, cyare.” Beaming up at him, your smile quickly falls into an open gasp when the head of his length breaches your entrance - fluidly sliding in tandem with a groaned out: “Mother of my child.”

He holds on to your knees - pressing the claves of your bent legs into his torso as he gently rocks his hips back and forth. It’s all so fucking sensitive down there that you feel every little ridge of his girth as it slides in and out of your well-lubricated walls - the soft squelch from each time he bottoms out getting drowned out by your combined groans and heavy breaths.

When Rex fucks you, it’s deliberate - purposeful. There’s always something he needs to get off his chest, or possessiveness takes over, or even before when his goal was to get you pregnant. Then there’s making tender love like on the night after you two were married by Ahsoka, quickies when that’s all you were able to squeeze in before settling on Dantooine, or getting each other off to the sounds of your shared hums of pleasure while floating through hyperspace in your old y-wing. Right now, though, the goal is to get baby one out - so he can return, you don’t realize, for baby two’s creation.

Rex’s eyes stay perfectly locked with yours - the tiniest narrowing and miniscule twitch of his eyelids, you notice, starts when he’s getting close to unraveling. It’s all so intimate and tender and cautious yet still engrained with that hint of possessive roughness that you oh so enjoy when at his mercy; though his thrusts may have a hint tentativeness, the delivery of each snap is well-executed and precise. A tightening that you assume is just the foundation of an orgasm pinches within your core - your toes tingling and breath hitching. Releasing your legs, he bends forward to capture your lips with his - swallowing your soft moans and tasting the way they sound with syrupy-slow, dancing tongues. You’re tightening around him as your climax washes over you; a non-threatening nip to your bottom lip and Rex is cumming as well - stilling his hips, skin sticking to yours, as his pulsating cock shoots its release where it’s always meant to go.

You’re panting into his ajar mouth - his hand crawling down your belly and nudging against where he’s still connected with you. A devious thumb brushes over your flushed clit, and you whimper against his smirking lips as he begins to move the little button in firm, rapid circles. Your entire body tenses up, chest heaving and rising to meet his with every short breath, and you’re shattering again in the matter of seconds - your walls strangling his semi-hard, unmoving girth.

“Anything?” Rex slides out of you, brows pinched together from both the physical exertion and curiosity. Shaking your head, he sighs then falls to your side before draping a sticky arm over the slight dip in space between your belly and breasts. A content sigh falls from your lips as Rex cozies up next to you - the familiar warmth of dribbling release seeping from your cunt, somehow reminding you of the forgotten original objective.

“I am supposed to feel something, like, instantly, or...”

“Not sure,” he informs with an exhale. “It’s not an exact science. Everyone is different. But, I can try doing this again.” His fingertip begins ghosting over your achingly hard nipple nearest him. Shaking your head, he draws back. Rex did read that nipple stimulation also can help with natural induction, but, it’s not the most comfortable thing for you right now. His cock buried inside you to the hilt feels way better.

“I’m so lucky that you glue yourself to that brand new holopad, otherwise we wouldn’t know shit about any of this,” you tease - planting a quick kiss to his temple.

“Well,” he begins his fruitless defense, “Over the years, I’ve observed the importance of being prepared. The war was one thing, and, well, having a little one isn’t too far off, it seems. Just a different type of preparation.”

“Here we go again,” you giggle. “Drawing similarities between fatherhood and what is was like as a CO in the war.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rex huffs in response to your jab with a cheeky grin - letting his fingers trail down over your hip to the inside of your thigh. “Just let me know when you’re ready for more, cyare, and we’ll try again.”

Before you can reply, every word you’d formulated in response is thrown way out of your mind when the abrupt gushing sensation from between your legs has the sheets below you soaking in fluid - the damp material beneath your ass jolting you to a realization. It’s trickling out, but you know it’s not the same fluids as before. Your head snaps in his direction, and his eyes are blown wide - the same realization hitting as he draws his wet fingers back and away from your thigh. 

Your water just broke, and he is frozen.

“Comm the medic, Rex.”

-

tags: @bvcketfvcker @deewithani @chromia7567 @threevie @letitrainathousandflames @thefact0rygirl @justanothersadperson93 @ohtobeamoth @14mcmd1122 @tacticalsparkles @cheesemachine44 @damerondala @buckethead-over-heels @kriffclone @purgetroopercody @socially-anxious-fangirl @cloneygoodness @marya-komar @beskarprincessjenny @awkward-katiesaur @katiebits1 @kawaiitimecharm @shiny-mando @sapphichorrorpictureshow @fat-zygerrian @foodandbooksplease @the-siren-writes-it @ken-obiwan @parkotedarasuum @dinner-djarin @howie-ner-cyare @99squad @chewychewyque @obiwan-djarin @vaderthepotater @blackrose4242 @the-sad-batch @quantumowl @90steaology @queen-simp @kaorikoizumi @mylifeinthetardisforever @sitherin-mxschief @alucas528 @escapedthesarlacc @sydnubabu @megalinditron @whatanoof @4rosydreams @ahsoka1 @colorfulloverbatturkey @venomous-ko @monako-jinn-stories @paige6768 @obi_bae_kenobi @sugarpuffstuff @zazzysseoul @ladykatakuri @bjm2020 

main masterlist

[angstywhoure]

SPOILERS!!!!!!

Conspiracy time!!!

But first, let’s discuss how these sisters are playing EVERYONE for fools. Cause WHEW! I AM HERE FOR IT. I had a feeling from when we first see the Vice President remove her mask at the gamble between Yumeko and the treasurer. Like, Kirari is more than a gambler. She’s a manipulator in its essence. Of course she’d use her twin to her advantage. Like what other reason would ririka’s identity actually be hidden from the public??? SAYAKA was even shocked then. Okay, back to chapter 76.

1. My last post on this story was about the gamble between Yumeko and Mary. I’d predicted that they were probably gonna end with a draw. So YAY. Cause I still feel like Yumeko has an agenda. She’s gonna help Mary get as far as she can to being Student Council President. (‘Why’is for another post I’ll eventually give on Yumeko’s character)

2. No one BUT Mary and those from the previous gamble know which one is Ririka. So Kirari wanting their mannerisms to sync is IMPORTANT for many reasons than just a potential gamble that’ll possibly be the determining one for President. (I hope)

3. Yumeko is privy to this information even before Ririka’s mask is removed by Mary. (This is a guess I’ll explain in the future)

4. There’s a reason as to why Ririka’s existence is not public information. It has to go beyond the school. The clan knows of her. But that’s it. So there’s a reason as to why Mary is told this willingly by ririka with kirari’s knowledge.

5. The twins have something planned. Before I’d told a friend that there had to be plot happening involving the sisters that no one else is aware of and that Yumeko MAY be catching on now that she knows who exactly has been aiding Mary in the elections.

6. There’s a secret the Bami clan is hiding. I’m not sure how it’ll play out in the manga but in the anime. Rei (a character that doesn’t exist in the manga) has MET Yumeko’s sister. Was there the day whatever happened to her took place.

7. Yumeko possibly learned as much as she could about Kirari and Ririka from her sister when she visited her sister at the hospital. Possibly learned about the entire main clan actually.

8. None of the clan families know who Yumeko is. But some have a vague idea of who her sister was. Or at most, her family. But isn’t it still weird she’s just discounted as a defected lower clan family?? Yet.... she sits on MONEY. Her sisters hospital bills are not cheap and Yumeko isn’t a scholarship student.

9. This brings back my theory that Yumeko isn’t a compulsive gambler. We see that there are gambles she doesn’t particularly enjoy or want to partake in. Midari shows us this. We also see that there’s a gain from almost all of the gambles Yumeko has with people. There’s a system to her madness, basically. (Ugh. I’ll have to do a post on her for this.)

10. Terano is afraid. She’s losing. The twins are still steps ahead of her and with Mary in Ririka’s pocket. Yumeko is the gamble she’s taking with the challenge she issues at the end of Chapter 76. She’s not sure about what Yumeko really is doing but she has the idea that if she loses, Yumeko MAY just be the best bet to beat Kirari or challenge her, at best. Yumeko however is confident in her rational that Kirari will win the election. But we also know that Yumeko is doing this for two reasons 1: to face Kirari again and 2: to help Mary become president. Im not including the “she loves to gamble and that’s why” view. It’s the most obvious one. Duh. But she’s also more interested in the wagers than the actual gamble. That’s what’s important here. We have yet to see her gamble JUST for gambling sake. (Still something delve into on a post about her character.)

OKAY! So, this chapter also did a couple things like... make me begrudgingly open my mind and heart to Ririka crushing on Mary. (I’m a committed YuMary shipper here) But I’m such a sucker for Ririka becoming her own person and Mary being the reason. Like: come on! How can I NOT support this?! It’s like my favorite kind of trope. But this also gave me another thought towards Kirari.....

What does she TRULY feel for Sayaka, if she feels anything at all. Like Yumeko, we know it’s kind of hard to actually get her going. But we also know from how she runs the school and the life plans and such.... she sees people as objects for her use. Does she do what she does with Sayaka cause the girl’s reactions intrigue her? Or does she genuinely feel something? Why possibly be jealous of her sisters feelings toward Mary when there’s Sayaka, unless that has no meaning to her?? Idk. I’m intrigued. Maybe I’m reading into it too much. I’m not opposed to being wrong. I look forward to the development of this arc and what’s to come for the rest of the series.

Maybe I’ll read Mary’s spin off along side Midari’s and see if they can answer some questions I have about the twins and some of the other characters.

[highqueenofelfhame]

acowar reread thread

so i think i’ll update this post every few chapters unless anything super major happens that i want to immediately react to, that way you get my commentary but i’m not totally flooding and flooding and flooding your feed with a super super long post. i think i’m going to edit it under the cut and reblog it every time it gets updated and i’ll also number every update so it’s easy to find where i left off. if you guys prefer the other way i’ll transition back to the other way for acofas.) this is super fun i’ll start doing this for more books if you’re interested, including books i read for the first time. (after acofas, crescent city is next and it’ll be my first time reading it!)

UPDATES UNDER THE CUT.

1) chapters 1-5 I’ve read up through chapter five and so far my favorite thing is just how DONE feyre is with literally everyone in the spring court. the amount of times she’s had to like look away and not roll her eyes is just hilarious, her dry inner monologue, she just made a comment about having to remind herself to laugh and not strangle tamlin while they were dancing at the summer solstice and it just is so funny to me. 

i miss rhys. but the few times they’ve spoken through the bond is enough to tide me over. he told her he loved her once and i sighed out loud. i’m such trash for this bitch. 

feyre hijacking the summer solstice ceremony is COMEDIC GOLD. like you kNOW ianthe was fuming and furious and trying to save face the best she could but like hats off to feyre man. her character development from book one to where we’re at in book three is fantastic. she’s not a simpering little girl anymore, she’s a bad bitch and she kNOWS she’s a bad bitch and it’s just.. fucking great. 

i also, as much as i don’t want to, feel for lucien A LOT. i think a lot of his behavior is heavily influenced by how he’s been treated by tamlin for most of his life and i feel genuine remorse from him and the fact that he can like tell something is up but isn’t saying anything just shows, to me anyway, how much remorse he’s genuinely feeling. 

also alis knowing that something is up is just a testament to how attentive she is as a faerie and a friend and i really love that about her.

“I was the nightmare” YAS BITCH. FUCKIN YAASSS.

2) chapters 6-10 feyre is so goddamn clever. the entire time she’s bringing down the spring court she’s witty and fierce and clever and really just iS THAT BITCH, HUH? 

i don’t like jurian but the fact that he still has compassion within himself for his kind despite being literally insane for being just AWAKE and aware for like 500 years is... nice and pleasantly surprising because i feel like you wouldn’t think that of him being that he’s siding with hybern so that he thanked feyre when she tried to get the children of the blessed out of there... i don’t know why i’m bringing this up, it’s just something that stuck out to me and that jurian also vouches (to feyre) about rhysand’s character and how decent of a person he found him to be. it’s just very interesting and i feel like speaks leaps and bounds about rhysand as a person. 

feyre pushing tamlin to explode again... just CHEF KISS. like she really thought of everything. she thought of everything to internally make his sentries doubt him and then completely hate them by orchestrating the ianthe vs sentry debacle. she made herself seem very compassionate and kind and and showed tamlin and ianthe for what they were by doing genuinely so little. like all she did was make them show their true colors on their own and it didn’t take tOO much manipulation. idk feyre is just incredible in the spring court. 

forcing ianthe to hurt herself and molding her mind to make her think she’s always afraid is so much better than just outright killing her.. (if i remember from my last read, it doesn’t hold up, but the thought is there and it’s genius) I also think that this shows a lot about feyre and her character because despite everything she couldn’t just leave lucien alone with ianthe and the unwanted advances. she stayed and fought for her friend (and by extension her mate) even when lucien wouldn’t really fight for her and so feyre is just a fuckin real one like... she’s the kind of friend that you want in your corner. 

killing the hybern twins: glorious. such badassery from lucien and feyre both. 

and i think it’s nice that she let lucien come along with her on her journey back to the night court despite maybe not wanting to but i also think that she knew if she left him behind he could get in serious trouble or wind up dead and so again, i think it says a lot about her character as a person. 

3) chapters 11-15 i’m kind of reading and recapping every 50 pages or so which typically ends up being 4-5 chapters and it’s a good system so far so we’re gonna keep it up! 

the first thing of like, real substance to comment on is lucien saying his father will kill feyre for wielding his power but feyre just responding with “he can get in line.” like her sass is sO GOOD In this book, especially in the spring court chapters.

uhhh big fuck you to eris, i don’t know why people want him to have a redemption arc, he is literally a fat sack of shit that deserves to burn and i’m not sorry for saying so. he’s abusive and cruel and doesn’t deserve like, anything at all. although i will say good on him for balking a bit when feyre revealed she’s high lady. 

CASSIAN AND AZRIEL SUPERHERO LANDING ON THE ICE AND KICKING ASS!! I remember vividly the relief i felt when cassian showed up and was able to fly and i still felt so much victory when it happened again. it’s one of my favorite moments of the book so far and just really gets me. also feyre just dropping the “I’m high lady of the night court” bomb is DELICIOUS and i can’t get enough. i read it like six times. because you know as soon as the illyrians yielded to her that the autumn bitches were like “shit.”

“My love.” kILLS ME. you guys, i’ve only read this book once but i’ve reread their reuniting multiple times because it’s just so soft. rhys is so goddamn soft. he loves her so fucking much. i want rhys to call me my love and lick my tears away. goddamn. 

something i think about a lot is how in acotar when tamlin had feyre alone after months of torture he just tried to fuck her despite knowing things weren’t safe. however, knowing she was home and safe, rhys didn’t try for that immediately. like yes, they kissed, but there was so much conversation before they fucked that it just, says a lot about their relationship. tamlin also always demanded to know everything about feyre’s visits as soon as she was back, not even bothering to kiss her hello but rhys was like ‘that shit can wait’ AND THEY’RE ABOUT TO GO TO WAR. rhys loves her so wholly that he wanted to make sure she was okay before he ever bothered to ask about the spring court and how everything unfolded the last few weeks. idk i’m trash for rhysand, y’all. let’s make that a shirt.

the way that rhys threatens lucien, “i won’t bother to explain it again, and i will rip out your fucking throat.” is so sexy. like how casual it was, so sexy.#ripmythroatoutrhysand

amren being a bedtime story but irl is just a cranky aunt lmao.

nesta’s ferocity is, yes, frustrating, but also so heartbreaking to me. for a very long time i had a really rough relationship with my sister and i can see my own sister in nesta (who, by the way, would murder me if she found out i said this so, kara, if u see this, i love u endlessly and i love nesta with my whole heart) especially nesta’s behavior more so in acofas which i’ll talk more about when we get there. but i just, i feel for her man. she’s been traumatized and life as she knows it has been ripped away from her and some people respond to trauma with bite. and i know it doesn’t make it right or okay but it still just makes me feel for her.

cassian and nesta’s banter just gODDAMMIT SLAYS ME. i cannot wait for an entire fucking book of this shit and an entire book of their back and forth. i think nesta loves him and doesn’t know what to do with it because she’s scared so she’s acting like a cornered animal. like nesta is a snake that will strike when cornered and threatened and i just god i can’t wait for their book. 

elain... broke my heart a lot more than i remembered. as someone in the midst of my worst depression i find myself able to relate to that hollow and empty feeling like...all too well and it struck a cord and i almost cried at how empty she was. 

4) chapters 16-29 there is the whole meeting at amren’s apartment and cassian defends nesta, saying that he understands her actions, her snark, why she is the way she is, and it just honestly reinforces my love for cassian. i don’t have much to say about it but that i just really love the respect that he has for others. more cassian things: feyre brings up again how even broken and literally bleeding out and on the ground with his wings completely shredded he was still crawling toward nesta and reaching for her and trying to get to her. “because i can’t stay away.” fucking cracks my heart open every time. 

i love everything about the first family dinner back together. i love all the banter, i love that nesta sat in and even contributed to dinner conversation a little bit. lucien being so uncertain of the dynamic is hilarious. amren like opening herself up in a way to nesta and telling her that they’re the same, and to make sure her eruption is felt across worlds, i love it. i’m marking a lot more from amren than i thought i would. cassian at one point, he points to az and says “don’t try to blend into the shadows” and it actually made me chuckle to myself because hE DOES THAT. and it’s funny that cassian calls him on it. 

i don’t think nesta gets enough credit (for like anything, we all been knew i’m a slut for her and stan her with my life) but even as broken and angry as she was she did still offer to help explore magic that she doesn’t want and got as a result of trauma so that she can try to help. she isn’t completely useless. and i like that she has backbone and isn’t just a pushover little bitch. (that isn’t directed toward elain. like i previously mentioned, i’m finding that i relate a lot to her in her current state.) i just mean that i’m glad she sticks up for herself and doesn’t just like, do what people tell her to do. ya know?

rhys being so open to feyre pushing back on him about things like, again man. tamlin erupted and got angry, rhys is like “hell, i deserved it.” just, the differences in their relationships and the toxicity that comes from tamlin and the devotion rhys has for feyre is (say it with me) DELICIOUS.

i also like that just because feyre is high lady that the IC doesn’t just like flop over and bend down and take shit (i’m looking at you, spring court.) like cassian isn’t afraid to be like “you pissed me off by sacrificing yourself.” because he cares. LIKE, AGAIN WITH HIS DEVOTION. his loyalty is just so pure. it isn’t blind but it is pure and i just, god i love it. 

also everyone forgets that azriel has a dry ass sense of humor and i don’t see any of y’all writing it into your fics. “In order to fly, you’ll need wings” he said drily. IT’S DELICIOUS. dry humor is some of the best. and i like that feyre is learning more and getting to spend more time with him. 

5) chapter 20-27 this one will be a bit of a dump because i accidentally read too much today so far to try to catch up from my lack of reading yesterday so... oops. 

“Let’s see what names you call me when my head is between your legs, Feyre darling.” ugh. i wish a mans would say that to me. not really. i wish rhys would say that to me and only rhys. maybe rowan. or aaron warner. or cassian. or -- you get it. 

amren is SO FUCKING FUNNY without doing it on purpose. like genuinely hilarious. “she’s fine. stubborn as an ass, but as you’re related, i’m not surprised.” rOAST THEM. also amren makes nesta almost smile and she makes her laugh all in the span of like ten seconds AND nesta almost smiles when amren brings up cassian. coincidencE? i tHINK NOT.

again with rhys soothing her nightmares. like god it’s so good i dont even have to say anything else abt it.

feyre realizing that the bone carver is her and rhysand’s son. SO GOOD. like SERIOUSLY SO GOOD. and this doesn’t matter at all rn but i think that rhysand’s son has the potential to be more powerful than even him but that’s a thing to get into for another time.

EVERYTHING THE BONE CARVER SAYS ABOUT NESTA. also that it’s directed at cassian is very interesting and i think the bone carver knows they’re mates. like i wonder if cassian is seeing what feyre sees: his own son. WOULDN’T THAT BE INTERESTING. “How she calls to you.” also the comment about “what did you wake that day in hybern, prince of bastards?” what did cassian wake. the wording here is interesting and i have... a lot of questions. does anyone else just also really fucking enjoy the bone carver as a character? like he’s excellent i’ve never read anything quite like him.

“nothing about nesta could frighten me” UGH MY NESSIAN HEART CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT.

also cassian stepping it later when nesta is furious with rhysand about the flying. like, one when he sighs and says she’ll never fly again is just... funny and adorable but how nesta was charging for rhys and he casually stepped in front of her and he talked her down. “It was amren’s fault, of course, but no one believed me. and no on dare banish her.” like just babbling a bit to bring her back down to earth. absolutely fascinating and delicious that it worked, wouldn’t you agree? ;)

court of nightmares is always a pleasure. fuck eris. 

also later at the town house when amren and mor and rhys are kinda going at it a bit and cassian gets nesta’s attention and nesta sidles over to him without questioning it... like. god if they aren’t endgame i’ll never read an SJM book ever again and i wholeheartedly mean that.

so i’ve seen the posts about amren being an angel i’m not sure if you guys have but yeah i think that’s a really solid theory. i think she very well could be a biblical angel because she mentioned that according to some they were perfect, that they laid waste to twin cities (sodom & gamorrah if this theory is correct) and she also mentioned yielding her grace and that she would fall. she also says she was a messenger and soldier assassin for a wrathful god ruling a young world and all of that, in my opinion, lines up with a lot of what is in the bible and what christians believe to be true. so i really really like this theory, i doubt it will ever be outright confirmed, but i think this is going to be my canon tbh. 

elain is.... out of her mind. it’s fucking weird everything she says is so cryptic and odd. like it’s just weird. i don’t think she’s insane and i can’t remember exactly where elain’s storyline goes in this book but like... rn it’s just weird and cryptic and a little unsettling and also interesting that she only really responds directly to azriel because everyone else she kinda ignores but she talks to him. interesting. 

6) chapters 28-49 clearly i accidentally read A LOT so we have a lOT Of ground to cover. 

NESTA WAS TOTALLY CHECKING CASSIAN OUT AND THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

azriel has fucking jokes, man. page 303 (hardcover us edition)  “That pine tree wasn’t there a moment ago.” “Judging by its size, i’d say it’s been there for ... two hundred years at least.” feyre even notes that he has a dry sense of humor and it comes out more when they’re alone. i can’t get enough of it. i wish he talked more. 

“Cassian finished the muffin, licking his fingers. I could have sworn nesta watched the entire thing with a sidelong glance. He grinned at her as if he knew it too.” i just love nessian so much i’m going to point out all of their cute reactions this is turning more into a nessian reaction thread SUE ME.

I think that nesta has a lot of regret and guilt over her life.over how she treated feyre because it comes out when nesta brings up to feyre that she didn’t know she couldn’t read (and again at the high lords meeting when she says they would have starved if it wasn’t for her.) i think she feels deeply and just doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t know how to express it. 

When they almost get taken in the library, and cassian gets there and nesta “launches herself at him.” my heart. she was scared and she didn’t care she was just so relieved. like fuck me up that’s the shit i like.

nesta asking where cassian is the moment they get back from the battle in adriata and she was worried and scared for him. later when she does see him i think this is when the mating bond clicks into place. it’s page 398 and she says “You didn’t come to -” and then cuts herself off. they have a really fucking intense moment. cassian takes her hand and laces their fingers and they don’t really say anything for a beat until he says “Next time, emissary, i’ll come say hello.” but his voice is low and rough when he says it. “The world seemed to go utterly still at that interrupted sentence, nothing and no one more so than cassian.” i think this is when it clicks for him. maybe not for nesta but definitely for cassian. 

RHYSAND RIPPING TAMLIN’S ABILITY TO SPEAK AWAY LIKE YES WE STAN A MOTHERFUCKING KING. fuck tamlin. fuck eris. and fuck beron. also nesta defending cassian in the high lords meeting (page 438, because beron calls him a bastard.) again, i’m just saying, she’s defending her fucking mate i can’t deal. feyre also exploding in the meeting and rhys just being like “You’ve proved your point, my love.” SO DELICIOUS. “I made her high lady because i love her. her power was the last thing i considered.” like fucking hELL that is how you treat your woman.

after the meeting, helion being like “You handing eris’s ass to him will be my new fantasy at night, by the way.” DELICIOUS. fucking hilarious. 10/10 recommend helion as a high lord and a mans we love to see it. 

also cassian being so concerned when nesta starts to have that feeling about the cauldron being used before the wall gets shattered.he didn’t doubt her feelings for a second, i mean no one did, but he was completely unyielding when he sensed her fear and immediately looked for any sign of an immediate threat.

nesta saying she’s never worn pants and cassian saying “i have no doubt you’d start a riot if you did.” he’s thinking bout that ass. also cassian giving her a quick lesson in defense before they yeet off to the human lands to see graysen and his family. IDK I REALLY LOVE NESSIAN OKAY?!

7) chapter 50-the end. i accidentally finished the book. oops. 

super intersted in nesta’s powers and if she is a witch. i can’t remember acofas at all and if nesta’s powers manifest in that book but i’m eager to see if the fracturing of the cauldron didn’t effect whatever powers she took from it. i think that could also be part of what ultimately is wrong with her on top of all the trauma. 

nesta helping cassian after that first battle when his wrist is hurt. she didn’t take no for an answer and helped him and it was just really soft until mor showed up and cassian pulled his hand away. i’m conflicted about what it means to be totally honest. what it means for his feelings for nesta and what it means where mor is concerned. i don’t love how morrigan treats nesta and cassian’s... relationship? but i don’t dislike mor. i think she’s dealing and coping and has her reasons that we will likely find out about. 

“Only you can decide what breaks you” is something i’d like to get tattooed. i dont really have anything else to add to it. 

i was sobbing during rhys’s battle speech to everyone. i dont rlly have anything else to say about it other than i’m emo. 

nesta saving cassian. again i don’t have shit to say about it other than like it makes me so emotional.  she just started blinding screaming, hoping that he would come. i can’t even begin to think what his death would have done to her.

the bone carver smiling at feyre before he did hits a very specific piece of my heart and i’m not sure why or what but i had chills all over my body. 

cassian telling rhys to let him return the favor/repay the debt. HURT. another thing i cried over. like shut the fuck cassian AIN’T NOBODY DYIN TODAY. 

tHE Nessian moment to end all nessian moments when they would die together. like big fucking wow. you can’t tell me they’re not mates. that they don’t love each other despite how complicated all of it is. like cassian is so soft in the most unique way for her because he knows she bites and he lets her and he bites back and i just think it’s what he needs.

“tell the high lord to leave out a cup for me” AMREN SHUT UP. like fucking christ i teared up then too because i really really love her character. she’s unique and funny and dry and cranky and i just love her so much. 

i’m tired of rhys sacrificing himself. there, i said it. i cried like a fucking baby and of course he woke up being a snarky little shit.

i love the end of this book. i don’t know what i’ll do with myself until january when the next one comes out. i’ll probably go back to the other format for my next read through because it’s easier and less longwinded and i think you guys liked the other way better. anywho, thank you for coming along on this lil journey!!

[purplesurveys]

962

Do you have a pair of Beat headphones? I used to have a pair. I mean it’s still around in my closet, but it’s completely broken now with the cable all given out and the cushion for the left ear has been missing for a while. I just don’t have the heart to throw it out because it was my absolute favorite pair of headphones that gave me good memories during a particularly shitty time in high school.

How was your week? A little better. I’ve gotten into the groove at work so I’m no longer shy when it comes to asking questions and giving inputs, and I’ve gained a better grasp of the workplace’s dynamic so it’s also been easier to communicate with people. Heavy life stuff is still around and it won’t be leaving for a while, but they were easier to ignore this week.

Are any of your electronics not working properly at the moment? Not really, but my phone’s charger cable recently stopped working. I have a backup that I’m using at the moment and while it’s able to charge my phone, it’s starting to fray and I’m not feeling too good about the wires that I’m starting to see hahaha. I just don’t know how to take care of my cables, guys. Anyway, this question made me paranoid so I took a few minutes to wrap a shit ton of electrical tape on the frayed area so I think it’s all good for now.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I like thinking about my wedding but I truthfully dread the wedding gown part. I’ve never been able to decide what look and style suits me best and I’ve just never been good at determining things like that. I like to imagine that I’d leave that bit to whoever my maid of honor will be, because I’d definitely prize a second opinion more than my own.

When was the last time you felt relieved? Yesterday, 6 PM when I exited the last Google Meet for the day. It was a Friday night and it meant my work week was over :)) I mean I love what I do, but Friday nights will always hit differently.

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? I wouldn’t say it bothers me but covers are definitely a hit or miss for me, with way more misses than hits. Nothing wrong with acts putting their own spin on an already existing song, but I’m personally the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” type when it comes to music.

What brand of chapstick do you use? I don’t use any mainly because I’m bound to lose them within a week. Same goes for other care products.

Do you really think someone could be perfect? No. Everyone has their flaws and that should be okay to acknowledge.

When was the last time you cried? Wednesday, I think. It’s been three days! I’d count that as an achievement. But idk, my sadness comes in waves so I shouldn’t be celebrating too early. I’m sure I’ll feel a pang soon and be crying again over the weekend.

What’s a food that you like every once in awhile but not often? Cake. Too sweet and rich; I wouldn’t enjoy eating it every day. What letter is the song you’re listening to under? Not listening to music, but I have a YouTube video on.

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s would be the lesser evil, I guess. I would NOT want to live through Martial Law in the 70s...I originally wasn’t even going to go with 60s because I think the world was a bit chaotic at the time, but I think my country was mostly unaffected by the political/cultural things happening then so it’s whatever.

Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? I don’t actively seek them out but it feels nice when someone likes me enough to extend their arms out to me for a hug. I haven’t been hugged for a while and I feel kinda empty.

Do your socks say anything on them? I think some of my socks have the brand name on them but that’s it.

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. AMC.

Have you found out who your true friends are? For now, yes.

Gray or Grey? I use both spellings for no particular context. I simply like changing it up lol.

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? LOL of course not. And I’m very picky when it comes to concerts that I choose to attend anyway, so I doubt I would’ve bought any tickets in the last six months even without Covid unless it was for Paramore or Beyoncé.

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? Nope, but everyone was hyping that movie up when it came out. It never really looked like my thing < Yeah pretty much. I feel like it’s such a teenage-y movie so I was never drawn to it. I also think it would be too triggering for my depression, so I’ve felt wary about checking both book and movie out.

Is there something you’d fall apart if you didn’t have? One of my biggest fears is to end up alone, so I always have to have some form of a support system to fall back into. I would be very lost if I didn’t have at least one person to rely on.

How many weddings have you been to? I can think of four off the top of my head. I was either a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid for all of those.

When you smile, are you confident? Most times I am; I like to smile. But sometimes I smile just to fake it and avoid any questions.

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yesss, all the time. I’ve always been all about following the rules and I’ve never seen the appeal in breaking them. That makes me sound boring but at least I’ve never gotten in serious trouble lol.

Was the weather beautiful today? For me it is, but only because I like the rain and cloudy weather. Others might find it bleak and sad, but I feel right at home.

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yeah, all year long.

Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? If I had my dream modern/brutalist home, grey would be soooo fucking perfect for the bedroom. 

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? I’m open to it, but I don’t think it’ll be a good match for my black hair as both are darker shades as it is. If I could dye my hair I’d pick lighter colors like green or even go all the way to blonde.

Have you ever gone to a private school? Yeah, from kindergarten all the way to high school. Private schools here typically give a better quality of education and they don’t give off the for-lazy-spoiled-kids vibe that I always hear from private schools in other countries, which makes them the norm for middle and upper-middle class families.

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I have other favorite animated movies, but that doesn’t stop me from loving Finding Nemo. :) I would always tune in for the whole thing if it were on.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? I had to wear one in my first school, but I didn’t need one for college.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? No TV where I am. I think my parents are watching a movie on their TV, but it’s on Netflix rather than a channel.

Does your house have security cameras? It does not.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? Eh, I guess it sounds fine but I’d rather have a pint of ice cream. I think that fits better with the weather and the mood that I’m in today.

What’s your favorite exercise workout? My weight training class last year was a lot of fun. I always felt dead after every session haha but I definitely felt healthier. I wish the semester had gone on longer just for that one class.

What’s your favorite thing to do? Lol I love doing many different things < Same lmao this question is so vague??? My favorite thing to do these days is binge-watch Rhett and Link content, but I like doing so many other things too.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? I was with Gabie that day and we went to a local art museum, as well as to a restaurant that she had wanted to take me to.

Does your local Walmart have benches in them to rest? We don’t have Walmarts.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never had stuffed animals. Well I was given a few of them as gifts, but I was never into them and they always ended up being owned by my sister.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not even think about it. Just show them that I couldn’t care less, lol.

Are you good at swimming? I can do a few strokes and am pretty good at treading, but I'm prone to panic-kicking when I can tell that the water is too deep.

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet is such a pain in the ass. Shouldn’t even have to be an issue in 2020 anymore.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Cat-called, whistled at, winked at, lunged at. One good thing about this lockdown is that I haven’t had to deal with men as much as I used to. Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Well I only have one layer of bedsheet and it’s the one that covers up the mattress, so it’s tucked in by default. I have a blanket to cover me up when I’m cold.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I find a few videos to watch as that tends to make me feel sleepy the quickest.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? I used to have a tumbler/water bottle in college but I forgot it at the gym one day and when I came back for it, somebody already stole it :( It was such a handy water bottle because it kept my water cold all day, so it sucks that I lost it. I’m planning to buy the same model again soon.

Are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It doesn’t really run in my family save for one grand-aunt who had cancer, so I’m not too worried. But I’ve accepted the fact that it is at least a possibility.

Are you a fast or slow walker? I like being in the middle. Slow walkers are annoying so I try not to be one, and walking fast just reminds me of my mom and how quickly she walks at malls when she’s supposed to be spending time with her family lol.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No. They all fit me just fine.

Does it bother you when people’s underwear hangs out? Eghhh, it really does. I know it shouldn’t but it really does. I just feel like it’s so invasive and it gives me a lot of secondhand embarassment.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? Not really. I like staying safe with my hair. The most daring thing I’ve done with it is get bangs tbh, and I don’t plan on going any further than that.

When’s your birthday? April 21st.

What age do you look forward to reaching? I don’t feel that way about any age. Whenever I reach ultimate satisfaction and security will be a good enough age for me.

Name a state that begins with the letter M. Minnesota.

What’s the first thing you do after a car accident? Think about how to tell my parents. D:

What do you use to get rid of bad breath? Brush my teeth, drink water.

What exercise do you hate the most? Pull-ups.

What do you do at a party? Drink, socialize, tell stories, eat allllllll the food ha.

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Nine

Previous Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Wheren we run out of sidequests, so we head back to the Citadel already.

With the quest log pretty empty, I didn’t feel like flying around the galaxy hoping to bump into something Hackett wanted me to do already, so let’s go finish up some of those loose sidequests and pick up some more!

I didn’t grab a screenshot of this, but one of the mods (faster elevators maybe?  Or MERe?  IDK!) COMPLETELY removes the scanning component from getting on and off the ship.

I don’t remember the exact origins of this, but one tick Annakie Shepard has is... she really really fucking hates being scanned.  And it probably was because of how long the scanning bit of getting on and off the ship here took, but I used to always try to outrun it if possible, or at least put up the effort.  I’m so glad it’s not here at all.

The only acceptable scan is Chakwas scanning her for medical reasons, and even that is just barely ok.

Anyway, here we are, freshly not-scanned, heading right down to C-Sec to... oh no what’s this?

Ah.  Yes.   Mikhailovich.  Here for inspection.

One of the reasons I cheat in Paragon points is that it’s nearly impossible to ever make Mikhailovich happy unless you don’t come back to the Citadel for a very long time.  So maybe I could have gone to Noveria and done the Paragon Point Cheat, but one cheat or another, doesn’t really matter.

The Mikhailovich encounter is another one of those things that didn’t have to be in the game, but is great worldbuilding.  Not everyone agrees with the Normandy being built, or the turian design, etc.   Mikhailovich is right that some of the things we built here could have been tested in a lab, you know.  It was a huge chunk of money, but it’ll be wrong later in thinking it’s a waste.  He also again shows that people aren’t sure that working super close with the turians is a good idea, which, again, he’ll be wrong about, but it’s a good thing to see differing opinions on a lot of things.

Anyway, I like this bit not only for that reason but to see Kaidan’s salute.

Finally, after lingering at the dock for who-knows-how-long while the Admiral inspected our ship, we get down to C-Sec, ready to...

Oh what’s THIS now?

Time for another interview, this one a little more voluntary.  

Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News.

She’s a character I have very mixed feelings about.

On one hand, well, I used to love to punch her out.  And now I never do.

She’s clearly digging for an angle here in her interviews.  She’s reporting for humanity, not the council races or galaxy as a whole.  But answering her diplomatically here, she’s another character who questions you and what you’re doing, but doesn’t actually step over any lines.  It’s more when you get testy with her here, she gets touchy back.

It would be a shitshow with the fanboys I think if you took out the option to hit here.  But wow that moment... didn’t sit right, especially when it was an MShep doing it but it’s not a great look for Femshep either.  Nobody should hit ANYBODY unless it’s actually necessary.  Getting your feels hurt by a few tough, even unfair questions... does not call for punching.

Especially today when we’re already getting scary close to losing freedom of the press.  Being diplomatic with her really nets the best responses in 2 and 3, as well.

And maybe if we hadn’t just gotten raked over the coals by Mikhailovich it’d be less grating to then get questioned by a reporter.  But I find it interesting how the game keeps pushing and questioning Shepard, and maybe even trying to find holes where maybe Shepard or the Alliance isn’t completely right, or could be questioned.

Damnit, Chorban and Jahleed.  Just kiss, already, neither of you are trying to kill the other!!  

I do love that Chorban figures everything out based on your scans... just like... a couple of years too late.  Anyway, I already finished all the scans, no way I’m not finishing this quest with Chorban for that sweet XP.

And YOU, using a girl with no undercover experience and putting her in Chora’s de-- what’s that?  Conrad dies if I end this quest early?  SIGH.

Also... Gideon Emery.  So you’re fine.  All is forgiven.  I’ll do your dirty work.

Helena Blake!  I DEFINITELY won’t forget to go speak to her, get back on the Normandy, do another planet quest, realize I didn’t speak to her, then go back to the Citadel just to actually pick up this quest, then pretend later on in this update that I remembered to speak to her all along!

I mean, speaking as if I were someone who hasn’t played the next two games, this is DEFINITELY SUSPICIOUS right?

I guess in a way, we did pull our gun on Conrad all along.

Just give me the damn mods.

Honestly, I love this part of the quest because you can COMPLETELY fuck up by being too goody-goody.  I have probably had to reload after mindlessly clicking paragon answers more times than I care to admit.  This time, I remembered to not obey the law.

The second reason I wanted to come back to the Citadel is that after one planetary mission, Morlan’s Iconic Armor shop (which, again, is thanks to ME1Recalibrated) sells special armor for Kaidan, that looks like his ME2 armor, so he has his own unique look.  

A picture from later, once the armor texture is loaded correctly.  (Turns out it required a restart.)

I LOVE IT.  Thank you, MERecalibrated team!  Welcome to Kaidan’s look for the rest of the game.

Let’s head up to the presidium!

Whoops, shoulda brought Ashley along.  I’m sure whatever he wanted to talk about can wait til later.

BTW, that gif isn’t sped up.  

If you don’t have the console enabled and aren’t setting your out of combat runspeed to at least 800 whenever you’re anywhere you have a lot of running to do, then consider doing so.   I’ve found 800 is the perfect amount of fast without leaving me slamming into walls constantly

The annoying thing is that every time you have a major area transition or have to reload the game, you have to do it again, but after the first time it’s 4 keystrokes.

` then up arrow, then [enter], then ` again.

Also your companions may fall behind, but that’s only an issue for the places they have ambient dialog.  So mostly I start using it on the Citadel after going everywhere once, and then most of the time on the Normandy and sidequests.

Oh let’s talk to this nice lady.  Oh no, her sister has been kidnapped, how sad!

Well, the poor woman deserves my help, I’m sure it’s all on the up-and-up.  Sure, I’ll rescue your sister!  I’m glad we have this friendly relationship that will be profitable and non-lethal forever!

You DID know that Anderson and Udina comment on each major mission afterwards, right?  It took me more playthroughs than I care to admit to discover this.

Also, this is a kind of humanizing moment for Udina here.  He tells us how the council isn’t happy that we lost the prothean ruins at Therum, then Anderson stands up for us (we love you, Space Dad), and then he actually really backs off and says in a much softer tone “I know, I know.  But we all get judged on how you behave.”

And again, we’re not meant to love how he says it, but um, Udina is right.  Everything we do has repercussions throughout the Citadel, and sometimes the Galaxy.

Poor Liara, the only one left without an iconic armor in ME1.

Also, like Tali earlier, she hilariously has lines in quests we turn in or make updates to that she has no business knowing about.  I guess she read all the questlogs while traveling back to the Citadel.

While we’re here on the Citadel, let’s take a flycam visit around to the edge of the room, shall we?

So we’re heading out, towards this building, past the Mass Relay sculpture.

What you can see as soon as you’re near it and then over it, is that that building hides the seam where the water meets map.

From just beyond it, there’s the apartment-looking building, for whatever reason you can see through the textures on the other side, leaving just the roofs/floors visible (the slats).

It took quite a while to go this far, but eventually, you can find the invisible wall where the cars spawn from, and not long after, the map ends.  The map is very curved, btw, that’s no illusion.  There’s no chance you could see this far without flycam.

Looking back, you can see the bridges in the distance, but the Relay sculpture and where Shepard is standing is very far away, quite difficult to see even if the full-sized screenshot.

I love how huge these maps are.  It makes the illusions really work and the sense of scale works BECAUSE it is actually just... that big. 

Well, back to smaller issues.

Again, a great quest not only from a memorability perspective, but a worldbuilding one.

How does religion work in this galaxy?  Well, some people still have it.  Enough that there’s laws in governing how people are able to spread that religion.  I think that the council actually enacted a fairly sensible law here -- they cannot allow zealots to take over near the seat of government, but also people should be free to worship as they please.  

I myself am a person of faith who, despite being brought up in a HIGHLY Evangelical movement, now very much believes that people should be able to worship as they choose, (or not at all!) but also that faith is a private matter and shouldn’t be forced on others.  

So yeah, the hanar is being unreasonable, but should still be spoken to with respect.  It’s good that this particular hanar takes it well.

I am honestly dying to know how the hanar deal with the absolute proof that the Enkindlers were just... people.  I mean we saw the one hanar in ME3 react to Javik, but you have to think that the religion as a whole must get shaken up a great deal after the game ends.

Also... seriously read Mass Effect: Annihilation (the quarian ark book).

Anyway, I like resolving this peacefully and getting the hanar to leave peacefully.  Calling someone a big stupid jellyfish is hilarious in the moment, but not so nice once you think about it.  

Ah, Michael and Rebekah.

I love this quest because... it’s not cut and dry.

I don’t think either of them is wrong. I think they’re facing a tough choice and they both have good points.

For a long time, though, my response has been that it’s Rebekah’s body, her choice.  

But the funny thing was, this time when I was playing, I didn’t see this as just an allegory to a woman’s right to choose.  From Michael’s POV, it’s more of an allegory to Anti-Vaxx.  Obviously back in 2007 when the game came out Anti-Vaxx wasn’t nearly as much as a concern as it is now, so I love that this small part of the game actually grew more meaningful over time.  

Yes, there’s a SMALL chance you could hurt the child from the procedure, but a greater chance of harm if you don’t.  I had a harder time choosing this time, like, oh, am I going to lean a bit more towards being pro-choice, or pro-vaxxination?  I’m pro both of those things??

I still sided with Rebekah.  Mostly because I know the kid turns out OK either way.

Well, for a couple of years, at least.

Emily!  You changed your clothes!  What’s that?  You want me to plant bugs?  Won’t someone notice?

Guess not.  Not even this bug.

I’m sad that this is the last we’ll see of Emily Wong face to face.  But hey, a good reporter, and good person.  :salute:

Kahoku... thank you for finding out about Cerberus and telling us.  The first time we hear the word I think, in the game?  

You will be avenged.

Welp time to head up to the ship and go off on some sidequ--

I mean... Uh, time to go talk to Helena Blake, OBVIOUSLY.

(Also Liara you cannot climb that wall, stahp.)

I love them having just a bad bitch like Helena with her sneaky-plan to kill her business partners so totally above the board by Shepard, but hey, she’s just a concerned citizen giving tips to law enforcement, right?  She’s awful, and she knows it, and she’s cool with it.

Well, since Ashley magically appeared in the party without me going to the Normandy AT ALL, as long as we’re here, let’s go talk to Samesh Bhatia

A great moment for Ashley, remembering her friend, and treating her husband with so much care and kindness. OBVIOUSLY we can do this very easy thing for him.

Fuck, this just got a lot more complicated.

I love this quest because it puts you between a rock and a hard place.  Again, neither side is wrong.  Samesh SHOULD have his wife’s body back.  But it IS important research.

For a long time, I didn’t give a shit about the research and would get the body back, no matter what.

But so many more lives are saved with the research.  So this time I ask him to understand, and he does.  But it never sits quite right, either way.  

As my other SciFi favorite franchise* reminds us in one of its most poignant moments...  Sometimes the needs of the many do outweigh the needs of the one.

Okay now we’re heading back to the Normandy for the first time this update, and next time, back out into space!

*Star Wars is a Space Opera, not SciFi.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #211

"i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink, but now i'm insecure and i care what people think."

What is your favorite time of day? Morning. What is your third favorite color? Ummm maybe peach. Do you care what others think of you? In most contexts, very much so. How would you dress, if you were the opposite sex? Same style I do now, really. Though not tank tops and dance pants; I'm sure I'd mostly wear loose band or graphic tees and sweatpants. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think I might? I believe it was a blue one where the keyboard slides out from the bottom. Small and square-ish. What do you do to maintain your eyebrows? Nothing. What was the naughtiest thing you did when you were a child? I bit my sister's back so hard that I made her bleed, lmao. Sorry Ash. What, in your opinion, is the most thirst-quenching drink? COLD WATER. Who is your favorite character from Alice in Wonderland? Cheshire cat. Name the closest body of water to where you live: Atlantic Ocean. What do you like to put on toast? Light layer of butter and then cinnamon and sugar. The true cinnamon toast. Do you like art? Of course. How about theater? I don't have too much of an opinion... other than it has potential to be incredibly cheesy. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. She's way more than that, and we talk every day. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Loads of stuff. What was the last thing you bought? With my own money, I don't have a clue. Have you ever been considered popular? No. Your signature perfume? I don't have one. Favorite undersea creature? Sea turtles, seahorses, jellyfish... Describe your room with just 5 words. Small, crowded, zoo, artsy, and... idk. Favorite type of chocolate? Milk. What types of things would you plant in a garden? If I actually wanted one, lots of flowers. Maybe tomatoes because fresh tomatoes + bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches are fucking incredible. Favorite attraction at a carnival? Ferris wheel. What toys did you play with as a child? Plastic animals, Pokemon figures, and stuffed animals were common. Oh yeah, I loved Lincoln Logs too. What types of music do you listen to? Various kinds of metal and rock as well as indie. What, without fail, makes you cry? Mufasa dying lmao. What makes a movie really enjoyable for you? A cool plot. Usually fantasy elements. Favorite way to decorate a cake? *shrugs* What gift(s) did you get for your birthday last year? I don't remember. What do you daydream about the most? My future. Name a game you are really good at. Shadow of the Colossus probably, but considering how infrequently I play games now, I'm sure I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be. Whenever I get a PS4 and the remake tho, I'm getting that goddamn white Agro. I never did the timed challenges before, but I think I could do it. What kinds of snacks do you munch on? I don't really have snacks anymore; I try to keep them out of the house so I'm not tempted. If anything though, it'll probably be some kind of chip. What emotionally exhausts you? Socializing. What accessories would come with a doll version of you? A laptop, iPod, and medication lmao. Favorite thing to do when it’s night time? Sleep? I've sure grown into a fun person. How do you like to bathe/shower? With hot-ish water. The most childish part of your personality? I absolutely hate chores. Favorite type of fantasy creature? Dragons. Do your arms move when you walk? I... actually don't know and can't even visualize how I walk right now. Favorite photo search engine? Google. Are there such things as stupid questions? Depends on your age and some other factors, I guess. Do you celebrate April Fools Day? No. I hate it, honestly. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? Both. How do you cure boredom? I'd love to fucking know. I'm always bored. Ankle socks or knee-highs? Ankle socks. Do you know how military time works? Yes, but I can't comprehend the time immediately if it's passed 12. What’s your daily routine? Wake up, check the time, use the bathroom, have breakfast, feed my cat, sit on the laptop doing nothing, maybe or maybe not have a nap at some point, shower if I need to whatever time I feel like, also brush my teeth at some random point during the day (unless I have to go somewhere; then I'll do it before I leave), eat dinner, feed the other pets, and go to bed. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? I literally yelled "HOLY SHIT, I THINK I SEE A SHARK!" when we were all in the car driving over a bridge and I swear I saw a fin in the water, lmao. Mom was. Not happy. Ever made a snow angel? Yes. Are you short or tall for your age? I'm average. At what age did you learn the Pledge of Allegiance? Idk, early elementary school. What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? When my appetite was like non-existent and I lost a shitload of weight, I think I almost went a full 24 hours. What do you think about most? What's stressing me out. Are you honestly a good person? I don't think I'm a bad one. Where would you like to be buried? I'd rather be cremated. Do you use Bing or Google? Google. Last song you listened to? "Damage" by Fit For Rivals. Last movie you watched ALL the way through? The Shining. Howwww had I not seen it sooner. Last thing you wrote down? The time I was meeting with my job coach on the calendar. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Detective Pikachu. What is ONE thing your fridge or pantry ALWAYS needs? My day will feel so off if I don't have one Mtn. Dew Voltage. Do you believe more in luck or hard work? That's a good question. Sometimes you can work your ass off and yet reap inadequate - or any - rewards, while some people pick up a lottery ticket once in their life and are suddenly a millionaire. Life's not fair, kids. But I like to think hard work usually prevails. Do you have any metal on or in your body right now? Piercings. What is your favorite thing to eat with dip? Plain chips with sour cream dip... yum. Do you consider yourself a heartbreaker? Nope. Who was the last person to tag a picture of you? Who even knows. I don't get tagged in pictures because I'm never with people to take and tag me in any lmao. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. Is there someone you always, secretly hope will talk to you? It's not a secret that I want to talk to Jason ONE last time to apologize on MY end. What was your first favorite band? Backstreet Boys. Are you friends with any bands? A local band, yeah; their guitarist is an old friend. Do you stay up ridiculously late for no reason? Very very rarely now. What’s your life motto? Idk, I've never really thought about it. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? A popular song? Oh boy, idk. I don't really know what's popular that I like... Well, guess I'll think of old songs I know were. Um... Oh well I love writing sad shit, so maybe "Runaway Love" by Ludacris ft. Mary J. Blige. I already had an RP plot that was kinda inspired by it lmao. Do you like 3OH!3? If I said I wouldn't belt "'CUZ I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED'A HIM" at a club at 2 in the morning I'd be lying. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? No. Do you have a long driveway? No. Anyone’s grave you visit, regularly? No. Who was your first kiss? First person who kissed me was Juan, first mutual kiss (which I consider my "real" first) was with Jason. What was it like? Were you disappointed? Juan's kiss I didn't want, and it made me confused at the time. I had no clue how I felt about him back then. With Jason, it was incredibly sweet. I was lucky to get like a fairy tale one and not a horribly awkward memory lmao. Do you have an older brother? If so, what’s he like? Yeah. He's super super intelligent and a deep thinker. Very mature and has a great sense of humor. Are you confident? hunty- Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Yes. Who do you want around you when you’re afraid? More than anyone, Mom. Had separation anxiety as a kid, obviously grew out of it, but if I'm seriously scared, I want my mom's presence. Like if I'm sick (I'm petrified of vomiting alskdfjaowie) or we're having risky weather, stuff like that, I want her with me. Have you ever mistaken something’s shadow for something else? Probably at some point. Indie, rock, electronic, techno, dubstep, or ‘crunk’? The hell is "crunk" music. Rock. Do you know how to read a map? I have no clue 'cuz I've never actually used a real one. Have a friend that looks JUST like a celeb? Not off the top of my head. Are you good at basketball? I used to be, but I haven't played in forever. It was probably my favorite sport that I ever played. Or softball. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not that I know of. How many times have you moved in your lifetime? Three. Are you good at Pac-Man? I was never exceptional. I haven't played it in yeeeaaars. Have you ever been called 'jail bate’? No. Have you ever been seriously addicted to anything? Technology oops like I barely know how to function without it, sadly. Ever lied to get out of going somewhere with someone? Yes. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. Do you like to eat pasta? Yes. Do you enjoy wine? Most bitter shit in the world. Noooooooot a fan. How long have you been driving? I've had my permit since senior year of high school (I think senior???), but I still don't have my license. What’s your lawyer’s name? N/A What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix? Good question. Do you play any video games? The only one I play regularly is World of Warcraft; it's the only "ongoing" game I play. Why were you last in the hospital? My sister got into a wreck. Would you ever get a face tattoo? Possibly something small and subtle, but I doubt it. Have you ever gambled? No. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I split a hot dog entirely in half in the microwave because I thought it'd take much longer to warm up than it actually did. Do you read other people’s survey answers on here? Sometimes. Do you agree with the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder?’ With my experience with Sara, yes. Do you know any transgender people? I knew someone who like... swapped back and forth five thousand times. Then one of my friends had a transgender "phase," if it's appropriate to call it that. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? Don't think so. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first? Eat. Why would you eat RIGHT AFTER brushing your teeth. What sort of window coverings do you have in your living room? Blinds. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? A year and a half. What’s the name of the amusement park closest to your house? Uhhh I think Busch Gardens in Virginia? Do you like The Rolling Stones? Yeah. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on? A plane ticket. Can you read tarot cards? No. What is the last non-fiction book that you read? I have zero clue. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. Do you prefer peppermint or spearmint? I don't think I even taste the difference. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yeah, I did in a book Jason lent me. Turns out it's a bad idea to write in pen a lil love letter on the back of the front cover to a book that was also for collection purposes lmao, but he wasn't mad. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? I like wood aesthetically, but I think eliminating wood housing would be a good idea, so brick. Brick also makes me feel safer. What is your favorite candy bar? Those big rectangle Reese's ones with individual blocks. I fucking love them. Have you ever thrown up in public? I know at least one occasion in I believe kindergarten where I did on the classroom floor, oof. Pepsi or Sprite? I hate Pepsi and I'm not a Sprite fan either, but if I had to, I'd drink the latter. How many video games do you own? We have an old CD case just about full of them. Have you ever stripped? No. Even if you are not Christian or never celebrated Christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in Santa Clause? Why or why not? I don't want kids, but if I did, I probably would. It's just a magical, fun thing as a kid. Who has the most interesting phone cover you know or what was the most interesting one you have come across (in store or online)? Sara has a really cute chameleon one. Would you rather play a game such as World of Warcraft, League of Legends, or an app/Facebook game (Candy Crush, Bejeweled)? Y'all know. What’s the most amount of messages you either woke up to on a social media site or your phone? Idk, not a lot. When you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? They're very commonly either with me dying or about to be raped. Some surveys ask if you ever stepped in dog poop. However, have you ever stepped in animal pee? Yup. When’s the last time you or someone else has overstayed their visit? Whenever Girt last came over forever ago. He always does lmao. Have you ever consumed a full bottle of liquid medicine in one shot? Is there ANY medication you can actually do that with and not die???? Have you ever had a hamster? Yes. If you had a choice, would you rather eat chicken or beef? Chicken. What was your favorite birthday cake like? I don't remember any specifically. Would you prefer bacon or sausage? Tough call, but probably bacon. How many books have you read in the past YEAR? Zero. Do you type with all of your fingers, like you are taught in school? Yes. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? No, grosses me the hell out. At what age were you the most physically attractive? The least? During high school; 2016. If you intend to get married, what are you looking forward to/dreading about wedding planning? I think planning the vows will be fun (I don't want references to God, fuck saying my dad has to "give me away," etc.) as well as the theme, and then I don't think I'm dreading anything about planning. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Mom. What is the craziest thing you have done to lose weight? I haven't done anything "crazy." Which parent do you most resemble? Idk. What is the best job you’ve ever had? Never had one I liked. How do you feel about monogamy as a whole? It's definitely what I find to be the better option. You're minimizing the risk of spreading STDs, and plus I personally see love as a one-on-one thing, not open to multiple. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? Probably some life lessons from my favorite teacher. Have you ever lived alone? Do you prefer living by yourself or with someone else? No. I never want to live alone. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? I don't have a friend to discuss that with, but I also don't have a sex life. Has anyone ever criticized your appearance? What did they say and how did you take it? Yeah. It was typically about my piercings or how I dressed (particularly ripped skinny jeans), and neither of those ever got to me. I love my piercings and style. How common is it for you to get jealous in romantic or platonic relationships? It's rare. When someone asks you about your number of sexual partners, do you include oral sex partners? I probably would if there was anyone who fit that criteria but I wasn't "fully" sexual with. It's still sexual. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. What is the most serious injury you’ve ever sustained? When I passed out onto my chin and ended up with a really deep cut, broke multiple teeth, and got a concussion. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? None stand out for either end of the spectrum. List three people you’ve had crushes on. Just to make it interesting, I'll name people I had crushes on but never dated. Sebastian, Kyle, and Mini. How old were you when you were first head over heels in love? 16. Has loving someone ever made you miserable? Boy, have you heard about my Historical Breakup? How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? They used to be easy 10s, but now that BC helps me, I'd say the worst are like... rarely 7-8s. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No. What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? I 110% should've been under anesthesia when I got an infected cyst drained. I wanted to fucking die to get it over with. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Did your school allow you to have pain medicine on you? I think so? I do know you couldn't share it, though. Do you ever comfort eat? I get the urge to when I'm depressed, but I stopped doing it. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? Pills and not being with a man. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. What gender do you identify as? Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Can you still wear clothes from the children’s section? Pf, hell no. Are you lonely? Very. Do you have allergies? Yes. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? However old I was in 5th grade when we had family life class. Do you take vitamins? Only one I'm prescribed for for vitamin D. Do you like fantasy better than reality? Yep. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Yeah. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. How many people have you known who were suicidal? Multiple, sadly. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My acquaintance has an absolutely beautiful daughter. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I have no clue. I don't really know pricey brands that don't have the ugliest shit. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? One. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? One, yes. She's a family friend now. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? Black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Ever take Melatonin supplements to help you go to sleep? When I used to have AWFUL insomnia, it was the only way I could sleep. Do you like burning candles or incense? Incense especially. Ever throw a pair of your shoes in the washing machine? How did they come out? Not that I remember. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? No. Do you like to wear shorts or capris in the summer? No. I hate my legs, nor do I regularly shave. Does your phone have a keyboard, touch screen, or neither? Touch screen. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? Emo. Were you obsessed with the Spice Girls back in the day? Obsessed, no, but I liked them. Have you ever had an encounter with the paranormal? Yes. Would you do your own surgery so keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I mean yeah, if I had no choice. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? An ear piercing got an infection once. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Would you ever work for Google? I mean, I don't see why not? Do people that are ungrateful for everything bother you? Immensely. Are you popular on any websites? No, not really. If you ruled the world, what is the first law that you would make? Probablyyyy the banning of at least single-use plastics, but hopefully plastics as a whole if doable. When was the last time you played jump rope? Not since being a kid, probably. Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? I can't do ANYTHING if someone is. Do you know anyone who has had a heart attack under 30 years of age? No. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? If I found something that didn't look dangerous, yeah, in order to survive. When is the last time you had your vision checked? Like two months ago. When is the last time you had your hearing checked? Some time last year when I had that whole ordeal with my ears. Do you know your blood type? It's A-. Do you donate blood/platelets/plasma/etc.? No, I don't drink enough water. Ever been in the emergency room? Way more times than I like. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Do you own any Burt’s Bees products? No. Dr. Pepper or Root Beer? Dr. Pepper. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? I have one of Mom I took for a photography course of her laughing, and I fucking love it. She rarely laughs. Dad, I'm not sure. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? No. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? ... It has flavors? Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? Yeah; they're at the top of a cabinet in the living room. Is there an ice cream flavor you don’t like? Of ones I've tried (I'm not very adventurous with food), I loathe strawberry. What’s the raunchiest thing you’ve ever stumbled upon? I don't know, don't wanna know. I steer clear of that side of the Internet. Hm, it was probably something on dA that had a mature content filter that I looked at anyway because it had an intriguing name. That site can have some wild-ass shit. How rude is it to snap your fingers at a waiter or waitress? Have you done it before? That is incredibly rude. They're not dogs. I've never done that. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep shit and philosophy. Discuss interesting, unorthodox topics. Show me you have an open mind. What is the first meme you remember seeing? BOY, I don't know. Maybe Overly-Attached Girlfriend? Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Duffel bag. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite font? Out of the default options, Garamond. Favorite fairy tale? Fucking FIGHT ME if you say Shrek isn't one. Forget the memes and such, I genuinely love the movies. Favorite tradition? By this point in my life, we don't really follow any traditions... but I do know as a kid I would NEVER let Mom forget we had to make "reindeer food." When a Christmas light show was still here, we would also go there and grab hot chocolate and chocolate-covered peanuts. I miss that. Talent you’re proud of having? I think I'm an above-average writer. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz. :') Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry. Least favorite pattern? Uhhh... I'm not big on animal print. Favorite potato food? Fries my man. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? FAIRY LIGHTS. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Two lmao. Favorite historical era? The Renaissance. What are some must-have Google Chrome extensions? If you don’t use Chrome, how about on other internet browsers? AdBlock. What piece of stand up comedy (10 minutes or less) has successfully made you cry with laughter? Oh boy, a lot. I love stand-up. What little “Easter Eggs” on websites do you love? If you don’t have one on a website, how about in a game, TV show, or movie? Boy, got plenty in games. The secret Silent Hill 4 replica room in Silent Hill: Downpour I especially love; I had no idea it was in the game 'til I played it and found it myself. Then the butterfly barrel in the PS4 remake of Shadow of the Colossus in reference to The Last Guardian is awesome. World of Warcraft's Robin Williams genie tribute is lovely as well. Besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don’t want anyone to know? Nothing. What GIF reduces you to hysterical laughter every time? Don't know about every time. What things that are legal do you think shouldn’t be? Smoking, but I understand why we can't do that now. What is the closest you have ever been to a major historical event? Idk. What is a skill someone can learn in 6 months that will impress employers on a resume? Microsoft Office programs. What are some meals that are simple to make, but easy to impress people with? Idk. I know nothing of cooking. What bizarre celebrity encounters have you had? None. What is your favorite picture on the whole internet? Oh don't make me go through my Pinterest of Mark pictures. What is a “dirty little (or big) secret” about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really should know? N/A What is the most outlandish (hilarious, surprising) thing you have ever seen go down in public? OKAY SO one day otw home from my psychiatrist appointment, there was a man dressed in horrid drag walking on the side of the highway in the middle of winter. It was. An experience. If you met someone who has never heard music before (born deaf or what have you), what music would you introduce to them first? Gentle, soothing instrumental things. Like let's listen to the soft SotC pieces, please. What’s a little-known site you think everyone should know about? I don't really know of any. What is a MUST SEE movie that is highly overlooked and is on Netflix? If you don’t have a Netflix, just say in general. Johnny Got His Gun. What quote gives you chills every time you hear or read it? From Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs: "I have stood knee-deep in mud and bone and filled my lungs with mustard gas. I have seen two brothers fall. I have lain with holy wars and copulated with the autumnal fallout. I have dug trenches for the refugees; I have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws and starved the masses into faith. A child's shadow burnt into the brickwork. A house of skulls in the jungle. The innocent, the innocent, Mandus, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. This is your coming century! They will eat them, Mandus, they will make pigs of you all and they will bury their snouts into your ribs and they will eat your hearts!" Not even mildly exaggerating, I get coooovered in goosebumps every time I come to that point in the game. I just read it twice lmao. When was the last time you bitched someone out? A while back I lost it on Mom about Dad and his wife. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. Are you afraid of plane rides? No, not really. Do you like unique or common names? Unique. Have you ever made a turkey dinner all by yourself? As if. Do you prefer running or yoga? Yoga. What continent would you most like to visit? Africa. Who do you wish you were dating? I'm happy with who I'm dating. What did you always want to do as a kid but were never allowed to do? Hm. I'm sure there's something... What is your favorite ice cream topping? Hot fudge. Is your Bible falling apart? I don't have one. Would you rather have a tail, fin, or wings? Wings. If you live in an apartment, is your landlord mean? N/A What products do you sell, if applicable? None. Is abuse in your past? No. Is there trauma in your past? Yes. Do you know anyone who’s been raped? I don't believe so, thankfully. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New Yorker. What was the last thing you watched on Youtube? Watched and not just listened to, it was an 8-BitRyan gaming vid. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Probably half the people I know or more. But I think that goes for everyone. What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Darkiplier rip. Have you read any of Shakespeare’s works other than Romeo and Juliet? Yeah - Beowulf and Macbeth. Maybe Hamlet? Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? My purse. Why did you move to where you’re living now? We got evicted and had to find something cheaper. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I sincerely don't care, especially if there is damage on the person's state. Like if you're suicidally depressed or very sick in another way and have to go out, don't be a fucking ass and force them to do something that can legitimately be hard for people just to appease the standards society set. A basic rule to me is never make assumptions or ask why they're in their pj's. I do it a lot, depending on where I'm going. Like you have clothes on at least, why the hell does it matter. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Math. Knowing the names of cars. Giving directions and knowing where I even am in comparison to everything else. Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO I but she's been removed from my life. When was the last time someone betrayed your trust? What happened? Idk. But I can say with near certainty aforementioned friend posted our entire last convo on Facebook as she'd done previously, so there's that. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom usually does. What are some odd habits you have relating to food/eating? I hate eating biscuits in front of new people because I dissect mine to parts, lol. Like I open it and eat what's in it individually, the bread being the last. Do you like Oregon Trail? I love that shit. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? A house. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? Stem. Do you believe in the “innocent until proven guilty” idea? Depends. Not always. Do bats frighten you? No, I love bats!!! What’s a song that reminds you of your special someone? THERE'S SO MANY!!!! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah. Are you a KPOP fan? No. Do you believe in the phrase “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be”? Nope, bullshit. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? June 2018. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I have to actually be romantically interested in you. Well, to kiss you on the lips. Kissing family on the cheek and such is different. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No, please take that shit away. Where was the last place you held hands at? I'm not sure. If you could live in any home on television what would it be? BITCH take me to the Addams' Family home. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? Mostly universal. Like just to give an example, some Christian religions forbid eating shellfish, so while avoiding shellfish is moral to you, is it really immoral to eat it? Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No. It's just... so inhuman. Regardless of what one has done, never lose your grip on being one. Be a moral human being. Don't succumb to that evil. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teaching. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? No, thank Christ. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. What’s your favorite horror movie? I really love both The Blair Witch Project films, The Shining definitely joined the top tier when I watched it recently, and The Crazies is great, too. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd say it's normal. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Oh boy, who knows. One of the billion things Colleen said and did. Something you feared as a kid but don’t fear anymore? Taking the last answer because it's like the #1 thing: death. It's inevitable, and immortality seems horrible. I just hope I go with the least pain possible. What is your opinion on girls who become obsessed with their boyfriends? lmaooooo been there sweetie, don't do it. Are you biracial? No. What’s the most unique pet you’ve owned? My champagne ball python. Do you have a fence? On either side and at the back of the house. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my psychiatrist. I feel bad for not including Dad, but nightmares fucked me up hard. Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yep. Do you think making out is slutty? ... No...? Well, at least if you're in a relationship and love the person. Just casually doing it, quite honestly yes, I think it's slutty.

[romanticdykee]

♡ excuse my little rant ♡

I just feel like I need to talk it out and maybe you guys can give me advice. Ok so most of you know that a couple days ago my father was being abusive again and I told ava. Her parents called the police but the police didn't do anything. My mom was on a business trip at the time so she asked if I could stay with ava and her parents until she got back. She said that she would kick him out when she got back so I could come back home but she never did. She always threatens him like this but never acts on it so I feel like she won't do anything. They'll just brush it under the rug like they do everything else. But that's the thing, I can't go home to my dad and she promised me she'll get rid of him. She knows how mad he gets and she knows he takes it out on me. He's threatened her before but he's never actually done anything to her (mostly me and he used to hit maggie a long time ago). I don't know why he just does it to me and I don't even do anything to make him want to do that one time I didn't cover up my food before I put it in the microwave and he pulled me by my hair and hit it over the sink. In 8th grade I was given a tablet for science. I was on it in my room playing one of those computer games. He walked into my room and I tried to walk past him and playing as if he didn't see but he pushed me up against the wall by my throat and said "don't walk past me like im some n*****" and i mean, I guess I deserved it... I shouldn't have been on it and I shouldn't have walked past him.

Part of me is convinced that im making all of this up in my head, like I'm not thinking clearly. I feel like I don't remember it the way it actually happened. Like im being oversensitive and this is just normal. Otherwise the police wouldn't have said that im fine and my mom would have kicked out my dad a long time ago. I feel like I'm insane. I feel like I'm ruining everyone's lives because im over exaggerating. But another part of me realizes that im being gaslighted and this isn't right. I don't know im just so confused.

And im living with ava right now and idk. I love her and her family so much but its so weird/refreshing to see her family environment?? I can tell her dad loves her, her sister and her mom. I guess I've just never had that or seen that. Like I see all of my friends dads being nice towards them but Ava's dad asks her how her day was, he genuinely loves and cares for her. And while I know that's its normal for dads to be supportive, I've just never really seen it close up.

I really really love ava and all of you already know that but I feel like im burdening her family. I feel like I am just making their lives so much harder and idk... I just hate that I'm doing this to them...

Everything is just so confusing right now and im sorry i keep talking about it. Its just things are hard right now and i don't know when I'll be able to go home. My mom hasn't told me what her plan is. I don't know if she'll make him leave but im pretty sure she won't.. I just don't want to go back to that house with him in it. And my mom won't always be there to protect me. She has a job and he doesn't do that means he has to drop me off from school, pick me up, take me to doctors appointments, I will always be with him. He will always be in my life unless she makes him leave. But she won't. And she can't protect me from him... Like I said, she won't always be there... And its not like the police would help. If he does hit me again they won't do anything and it'll just make him more mad.. He told them i was too sensitive and that I lie but i don't get why they believe him. Me and my sister ran away before because he was abusive. The CPS visited our house (he told them they didn't and I bet they won't even check). I feel so helpless. no one can help me. the cps won't do anything, the police won't and my own mother won't. But i don't get why she won't do anything... You can even ask ava, when mt mom came over to drop off my stuff she was crying. She absolutely hates him! she complains about him all the time and she says she doesn't feel like they are even married anymore.

I just don't know what to do. Im scared and confused. I don't know what's going to happen next and I'm actually scared for my safety

[uselessnocturnal]

For Your Eyes Only

olivarry week 2018 | day one | supernatural

summary; Oliver’s dishes are pristinely positioned in a neat pile on the counter beside the sink. There’s actual food in the fridge. Not the five minute plastic microwavable food but proper ham and cheese sandwiches (his favourite kind) that someone has premade. His clothes are folded corner to corner arranged by colour in his drawers and he knows for a fact he hadn’t done that. Hell, he hadn’t even washed them.

“Maybe it’s a ghost,” Thea jokes, “you could do with some friends…even if they might be dead.”

Oliver shoots her the classic eyebrow raised, unamused expression and holds back a sigh, “Thanks, Speedy, but ghosts don’t exist.”

-

Upon Oliver’s return from the dead after five years on Lian Yu, he buys an apartment to hide from his family and friends. Maybe it’s luck but it just so happens that this particular flat is haunted by his very own Barry the Friendly Ghost

notes; This is the first time I've participated in olivarry week and I'm already a couple of hours late oops. The fic doesn't exactly follow season one of Arrow. Generally Barry can touch anything if he thinks about it, so if something is thrown at him suddenly, it'll go straight through him (unless he's in a physical form) idk just give me the benefit of the doubt please. Hope you enjoy!

read on ao3 here

Oliver’s sparse dishes are pristinely positioned in a neat pile on the counter beside the sink. There’s actual food in the fridge. Not the five minute plastic microwavable food but proper smoked salmon sandwiches (his favourite kind – a luxury he couldn’t enjoy on Lian Yu) that someone has premade. His clothes are folded corner to corner in his drawers (boxers left untouched and sprawled around his underwear drawer, he notes)

At first he figured he must have been so exhausted from running around in a green hood that he must have forgotten he��d done it. Ridiculous considering Oliver really isn’t that meticulous. Then he decided Moira must’ve hired a housekeeper for him – someone to keep an eye on him. Oliver nearly rolls his eyes at the thought, it sounded like something that his mother would do; pretend to understand Oliver’s request for privacy and yet send someone to be his hidden babysitter. He was just lucky he kept his operation away from home.

When he confronts Thea about it in Verdant, she insists that No, Mom hasn’t sent anyone – though their mother had been tempted to install security cameras to which Walter had thankfully steered her away from.

“Maybe it’s a ghost,” Thea jokes, sliding her finger along the rim of her pomegranate martini, “you could do with some friends…even if they might be dead.” 

Oliver shoots her the Queen classic eyebrow raised, unamused expression and holds back a sigh, “Thanks, Speedy, but ghosts don’t exist.”

She gives a cryptic shrug, “Your flat is clean, you never see who does it, and there’s nothing on the security cameras you installed.” He rolls his eyes what kind of person did you think he was not to install cameras.

“Face it, Ollie, you’re being haunted.”

It’s almost stupid that, as he rides his motorbike back to his flat, he actually considers Thea’s suggestion. He knows she was joking – there was no way she believed in ghosts. Not unless she’d seen what he had lived on the island.

As time passes, as more dishes are done, more meals prepared and Oliver is sure no one else has been in his flat, he finds himself mumbling quiet thanks to the air. Sure, it feels a bit idiotic at first but if there were someone with him, they at least deserve some appreciation, especially since sometimes he finds his bloodied Hood suit cleaned and returned to its hiding spot without any officers crashing down his doors. Unless he wanted to be thrown into Arkham Asylum, there wasn’t much to say about the situation to anyone else. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t need the extra help.

Barry can barely believe it. Oliver-Freaking-Queen is living in his apartment. A man – who basically came back from the dead – is now living in Barry’s apartment. Well, technically it’s Oliver’s apartment since Barry’s dead but it wasn’t like Barry could leave the area anyway 

He hadn’t left the confines of these same dull walls in…he couldn’t exactly remember when he died. Or where he died. He couldn’t remember anything about his death for that matter. Not much stuck in his head from his life either.

When he’d first found himself in the bare apartment in a panic all he knew was his name. Over time, though, bits and pieces had been coming back in fragments. My name is Barry Allen. When I was eleven years old, my mother was murdered and my father was arrested (or framed). I moved in with Joe and Iris. She was my best friend and she had brown eyes and a nice smile and was…was…

It was a mantra he had recited almost every day since he had died and memories started returning. His recollection would only go so far and sometimes he’d find himself struggling to remember things like his parents’ names, the sound of Joe’s voice or even what he himself looked like. Up until the return of Oliver Queen, Barry had led a lonely existence.

Somehow, as soon as Oliver stepped foot into the apartment, Barry just knew instantly who he was to the public. The Queen’s Gambit…no survivors…Oliver Queen…billionaire…presumed dead… The fact that he was back after five years amazed Barry. It was impossible to come back from the dead as far as he knew. Yet, Barry found himself believing the impossible a lot more easily than he had thought he would.

And so, with this newfound fascination in the man who had strengthened his belief, Barry Allen helped Oliver Queen with the housework. He hadn’t been completely sure of his ghostly capabilities but as of right now, he knows that he can move small objects without much difficulty and, unless he concentrated, he was invisible to the rest of the world (and all he could really do was flicker in front of the mirror for a couple of seconds).

Ghosts didn’t sleep much but Barry liked to give his roommate privacy, taking the time to wander around the apartment for the hundredth time that day. He learned a lot from cleaning the flat whenever he was out. Oliver still has plenty of suits that he wears to visit his sister and turns up at Queen Consolidated in. Oliver Queen is a vigilante that murders (if Barry ever spoke to Oliver, oh, he would have a word). Oliver doesn’t watch movies much but he does sometimes like to quietly play 80s music. There’s never anyone else in the house and he only occasionally goes out to actually meet his family.

Oliver Queen is lonely. And maybe he’d like a friend.

Even if potential friend is meant to be dead and has been through Oliver’s underwear drawer before.

It was Barry’s idea to start leaving notes. Knowing that Oliver felt ridiculous talking to himself, he figured they might as well start communicating and confirm Barry’s existence. It’s almost the biggest decision he’s ever made (it definitely is in this part of his afterlife anyway). Why risk this relationship for scaring Oliver off because his apartment is haunted? Barry doesn’t want to be alone again. But he also wants to actually communicate with man he lives with.

His gaze lingers on the doorway where he’s sure Oliver is about to return from lunch with Thea any moment now and flickers back to the paper on the table and the pen wavering in his hand. Footsteps that are distinctly Oliver’s echo in the hallway and Barry panics and settle on a simple scrawl

Hi :)

He wants to take back the smiley face almost immediately but Oliver strides into the room and Barry steps away from the table like a guilty child even though he knows in his heart that Oliver can’t even see him.

For his part, Oliver – hyperaware of his surroundings as always – notices the yellow sticky note immediately and picks it up, letting a small smile grace his face. Barry, still lingering like a nervous butterfly, releases a little sigh of a relief at the positive response. He ignores the slight skip in his heart at how beautiful Oliver looks when he smiles, telling himself that he’s just happy that Oliver hadn’t run out screaming (Oliver would probably be more collected than that and get his bow and arrows out – Barry wasn’t sure which was worse)

Barry barely has time to bask in his success when Oliver picks up the previously discarded pen and writes in smaller slightly messy letters below his message.

Thanks.

Out loud, Oliver asks thin air, “What’s your name?” He can almost sense Barry’s mad dash for the pen and his scrabble towards the post-it. It’s fascinating to watch the pen move by itself, controlled by an invisible being, finally revealing his roommate poltergeist’s name.

Barry

Barry. Somehow it fits. Oliver can’t exactly place a name to face but at least he can place it with actions and so far he has a pretty good impression of the man.

It takes time but they work out a routine. Barry leaves notes in the morning for Oliver, Oliver comes home and tells Barry about his day, about Diggle, Laurel, Felicity, Thea and Barry soaks in all the information from the outside world. Barry’s there for Oliver through his heartbreak with Laurel. He’s there for Oliver’s nightmares and night terrors. No matter what happens, Oliver knows Barry will always be there to listen to him; hell he can barely stop thinking about him.

“You’re smiling more.” Thea points out one afternoon in Big Belly Burger jarring Oliver from his thoughts, “Anyone in your life I should know about?”

Previously mentioned smile returns just as easily and affectionately, “No, no one. I’m just…happy to be spending time with you.”

Thea beams, a grin that lights up her entire face, “We’re happy you’re back, Ollie.”

Oliver’s learned a lot about Barry. From his favourite ice cream flavour to the musicals he watches when he’s sad. If a set of musicals just so happened to appear in the apartment, it’s because Oliver likes them too. He knows that Barry babbles to himself a lot (‘You’re lucky you can’t hear me, I’d probably talk your ear off’ a statement to which Oliver politely objects to) and that he likes dancing when he’s happy. Thanks to his heightened senses, generally he can more or less figure out where exactly Barry is and pretend to make eye contact with the ghost.

Just as Barry’s there for him, Oliver helps Barry remember. It takes an investment in an actual computer and a lot of research but they manage to piece together his life. Still, there’s nothing about Barry’s death.

Neither of them bring it up but there’s an unspoken silence (literally on Barry’s part) that if they find out what happened to Barry, he’d move on. Oliver isn’t familiar with the afterlife and paranormal but it seems like quite a universal concept that when ghosts got closure, they’d fade from this world and into the actual afterlife. It is a universal concept that both of them are reluctant to face.

Oliver’s not entirely sure when in his life it became normal for him to walk into an empty kitchen in the morning with the TV depicting the most recent Game of Thrones episode (a show Barry insists he watched when he was alive) and a floating frying pan of pancakes. Or when it became natural to just talk to Barry without seeing him and wait for his responses. Or the times when a balled up note with a smiley face drawn on it hits his cheek with surprising aim. It’s at these moments that Oliver feels that he can be himself and is truly happy. It’s where Oliver and the Arrow aren’t conflicting personalities but instead it’s just Oliver. Oliver and his own friendly ghost who somehow wormed his way into Oliver’s closed off heart and made a home for himself.

It’s a cause for celebration when Barry announces (read: writes in frantic capital letters) that he’s been able to leave the flat. Sure, it’s for a couple of hours until he’s zapped back to their flat but it’s still an incredible achievement, especially since he hasn’t completely mastered the technique of being seen. Their flat is decorated in Barry’s handwriting on notes. Some are fun messages for Oliver, others about his life before. Either way, Oliver doesn’t invite people over very often and that’s just how they like it.

They’ve become close over time, inevitable considering they practically live together but close in the sense that when he’s not in the flat, Oliver can’t get Barry out of his mind. Whenever something happens, whether it is good or bad, his first thought is Barry and how he’s going to tell him. Sometimes he catches himself getting distracted and longing to go back home so that he could spend time with Barry.

His affections weren’t exactly unrequited because it soon became Barry’s favourite hobby to make Oliver smile. There were three different smiles Barry was most familiar with. The small tiny quirk up of the lips when Oliver would return home to a cheeky note on the coffee table. There was the smile where Oliver’s lips would be pressed together in an effort not to smile but his eyes would be brighter with a mirth that wasn’t there before. Personally, Barry’s favourite smile was the one where Oliver smiled with his teeth. It was a rarer occurrence than the other two and Barry would pull the most ridiculous of actions to coax it out. Every time Oliver’s toothy grin does emerge though, Barry can feel a warmth that shouldn’t be there blossom in his chest and a yearning to just wrap his arms around the man.

That is the moment he realises that he’s falling for Oliver Queen.

Barry’s not quite sure what to do after reaching this conclusion. There are so many obstacles in the way. Oliver’s sexuality was not a problem because both men had confessed that they were bisexual, Oliver even going so far as to reveal that when he was younger he’d had a few flings with boys that his parents covered up with money (a fact that had infuriated Barry to no end). 

The real, blindingly obvious problem here: Barry’s dead.

Even if Barry had the courage to confess his crush (what was he, twelve?) to Oliver, there was no way Oliver would want to date a dead man. There was no point in even trying because the relationship just wouldn’t work.

There was no way of overcoming death as far as Barry knows and so, he concludes, this is a secret he’ll take to the grave.  

On March 14th, Oliver takes Barry out for a drink. For two main reasons, the first that it’s Barry’s birthday (a fact both had only found out a couple of weeks ago) and the second because “You’ve done so much for me, Barr, it’s my treat.” And Barry is so incredibly grateful Oliver can’t see him because all he’d find would be a blushing, stammering mess.

I’m only 25 and my drinking days are already over :(

The note brings one of those small smiles to Oliver’s face as he shakes his head affectionately. “Barry, I’ve seen you drink half a carton of orange juice before. I’m pretty sure you can handle your alcohol.” 

There’s a moment where nothing moves and Oliver takes it that Barry’s spluttering with laughter until the pen floats again and he scrawls an Oops? :p God, Oliver wished he could see Barry or even just hear him. There was nothing more that Oliver wanted but to hear Barry laugh. Something told him that it would be the most beautiful sound in the world.

Drinks goes…surprisingly well and relatively uninterrupted. Oliver has an earpiece obviously displayed so he can talk to Barry without any unwanted attention. Although, Barry argues playfully, every time Oliver drives someone away from where Barry is ‘sitting’, he still gets some weird looks.

The bartender barely gives Oliver a second look when he asks for two bottles of beer and leaves them to it. Barry and Oliver make good conversation; Barry communicating sometimes by brief touches on Oliver’s arm or writing out a message. That night they find out that a) ghosts can get drunk and b) Barry was probably a lightweight when he was alive. 

During the night, they slowly forget about being subtle – Barry occasionally swinging his bottle around and freaking out nearby patrons which just sends them both into another bout of laughter.

“In all my life,” Oliver starts between laughs, “I never did think that I’d be sitting in a bar talking to my roommate ghost.”

Barry’s heart flutters (he knows, he’s dead, clearly love does strange things to anybody) and a grin comes easily to his face as he squeezes the man’s hand.

Well, our lives’ aren’t exactly normal.

A softer smile, without teeth but just as bright, lights up Oliver’s face, “No, they’re not,” he agrees, “It’s hard sometimes…but at least it’s full.”

To life not being normal.

Barry writes the words down, staring into Oliver’s beautiful blue eyes and offers his floating bottle in a toast.

Rather than a verbal response, Oliver picks up the pen and writes underneath in his neat letters:

To life being full.

He raises his bottle to meet Barry’s and together, they drink

part two coming soon!

[prodyoongi]

tagged by @mostlymin! Thank youuu!!  I’ll tag @jimincubus​ @sweetopiaa​ @uchyu​ @clairelions​

LAST

1. drink - sprite 

2. 📱call - my brother bc I lost him in Target lmao

3. text - mom

4. song you listened to - So What, BTS (lmao it just came out on SSBTS, so I played it)

4. time you 😢- honestly idek. I don’t cry often.

HAVE YOU EVER

6. dated someone twice - no

7. 😘 someone & regretted it - oh my god yes, I had 1 kiss open the biggest can of worms in the world and it was not worth it

8. been cheated on - nope

9. lost someone special - my soulmate :(

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - I’ve gotten drunk a few times, but only once to throwing up. That’s.......a story lmao.

FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. mauve

13. pale pink

14. olive green

15. black

in the last year have you

16. made new friends - Mhm :)

17. fallen out of love - I haven’t been in love this year, so no

18. 😂 until you 😢- I did on Sunday

19. found out someone was talking about you - yeah lmao 

20. met someone who changed you - umm....does a boss count? I guess?

21. found out who your friends were - I found out who they weren’t

22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - nope

GENERAL

23. how many friends from your facebook friends list do you know irl - all of them except for like 5 or 6

24. do you have any pets - my puppy Kevin

25. do you want to change your middle name - No, sometimes I wish it was my first name

26. what did you do for your last birthday - nothing really *shruggg* had some cake. 

27. what time did you wake up today - 9:30 am

28. what were you doing last night at midnight - watching a KDrama with my sister

29. what is something you can’t wait for - KCon & the BTS concert!

30. what are you listening to right now - no music, master chef on TV

31. have you every talked to a person named tom - yup, and I have a new baby cousin named Tommy

32. something that gets on your nerves - people chewing, esp ice

33. most visited website - this, youtube, and twitter probably

34. hair color - dark brown

35. long hair or short hair - long, sometimes when I sit I feel my hair tickling the inside of my waistband

36. do you have a crush on someone - yeah and it’s literally pointless, so I redirect the energy to my biases

37. what do you like about yourself - my personality/discipline, my hair, my lips, and my skin

38. want any piercings - I have my ears pierced but I want more ear piercings

39. blood type - I think A or AB, I don’t remember

40. nicknames - Jay is a nickname actually. some work friends call me queen/queenie. 

41. relationship status - single af

42. zodiac - sagittarius (capricorn moon & scorpio rising, which are more accurate than sagittarius sun imho)

43. pronouns - she/her

44. favorite 📺 show - south park

45. tattoos - none but Im developing one. It’ll be bts themed and double as a memorial to the above mentioned soulmate that passed away. I also want one that says bapsae in hangul, for a few reasons.

46. right handed or left - right handed

47. ever had surgery - yes, eye & oral surgery

48. piercings - lobes

49. sports - I watch baseball p much every day and played & coached softball

50. vacation - my best vacation was my month long tour of England. My friend is trying to organize a trip in 2019 to vietnam, korea, and singapore for us though.

51. trainers - I think this is referring to shoes lmao. I have a pink suede pair of adidas.

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - nothing. I haven’t actually eaten today and it’s 10 pm. something I take in the morning curbs my appetite heavily and I forget to eat every day unless I’m made to.

53. drinking - nothing, but I’m gunna get some tea.

54. i’m about to watch - I’m gunna watch a kdrama with my sister soon

55. waiting for - kcon

56. want - hm....something cold to drink. The thing I take also gives me dry mouth.

57. get married - ive always imagined myself getting married at 28. Idk why. I’m single tho so. idk, marriage isn’t high on my priority list.

58. career - advanced english teacher :)

WHICH IS BETTER

59. kisses or hugs - kisses. I had a kiss dream last night andddddd yeah.

60. 👄 or eyes - I’ve noticed that lips/smiles were the first think I noticed on all my biases (yoongi, vernon, yukhei) so lips

61. shorter or taller - everyone is taller than me so its not even a question. 

62. older or younger - i don’t care. I’ve actually only dated people younger than me.

63. nice arms or stomach - arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship.

65. troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker.

HAVE YOU EVER

66. 😘 a stranger - nope

67. drank hard liquor - yes.

68. lost glasses - uhh...idk if I’ve ever lost sunglasses, but i don’t have regular glasses

69. (oof). turned someone down - many times.

70. sex on a first date - hard no

71. broken someone’s ❤️- many times. not proud of it, but it’s all people I’ve given fair warning so i’m not stressed over it

72. had your 💔- yes.

73. been arrested - lmao no

74. 😢 when someone died - more than I’ve ever cried in my life

75. fallen for a friend - kinda? no close friends tho.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - yes

77. miracles - yes. they aren’t common, but yeah.

78. 💛at first sight - nooooo. maybe attraction at first sight, but definitely not love.

79. 🎅- no

80. 😘on a first date - uhhh, depends honestly. especially depends on how I knew the person prior. Like if it was someone I had been pining over for a while, and it was the first time on a date, sure. If it was like a blind date, prob not, but who knows?

81. angels - 200000% yes, it’s like the foundation of my religion and identity. I couldn’t cope if I didn’t.

other

82. best friends name - her name was harmonie, and she won’t stop being my best friend just because she’s no longer on earth.

83. eye color - almost black

84. favorite movie - the godfather

85. favorite actor - leonardo dicaprio

[chellyfishing]

ok i finished kona so as promised my lil* post on walking simulators i’ve played. (*it’s not lil.)

first things first: a lot of these give off a creepy vibe because it involves you investigating a deserted place piecing together What Happened. i don’t personally consider them scary, as such, but i guess some people might? with minimal spoilers, i can say that unless noted there are no jump scares or battles and you can’t get a game over at any point. none of these except flower and maybe gone home are exactly the cheeriest of games, they’re not total downers and you can take away a lot from each of them, but there’s almost always death involved. also these are all short games, many can easily be completed in a few hours, some you might want to spread out over a couple days.

i’m a little hesitant to put gone home on here bc i haven’t actually played it myself, but i did watch a full LP. i don’t think it’s a spoiler at this point to say that there was a bit of a bait-and-switch with advertising and it’s not a horror game. it is actually a very sweet, heartfelt coming-of-age story about a teenage girl who left behind notes for her visiting sister. while this might be a bit of a spoiler, i saw a review that called it “a lesbian scavenger hunt,” which i think is pm all anybody needs to know to decide to play it.

the vanishing of ethan carter is the first one i played and probably still my favorite. i played through it possibly half a dozen times that first week, and it’s not necessarily that sort of game. at the risk of overselling here, i can’t tell you how much this had an effect on me. you play a detective who’s come to a small seemingly deserted town at the behest of a young boy (ethan). what follows are a series of visions, stories, and light puzzle-solving to get to the bottom of what happened to ethan carter. as the story unfolds things get pretty disturbing and there is some blood (stain variety, not gushing). there’s nothing that would, i think, rate more than a PG-13 though. i could go in-depth but just play it okay.

dear esther is credited with being the first walking simulator. you can hear about its humble beginnings as a mod for some other game i forget by listening to the audio commentary, which you have to do for one of the trophies. dear esther is, the most out of these, not what it appears. it’s almost more of a poem than a story, and there is a lot left abstract and open-ended; death of the author is encouraged. it’s probably got the slowest start, but i like the peacefulness of it. it has a sequence that is the most beautiful and transformative thing which then leads up to the climax, and by then you are definitely in a different game than you started. no puzzle-solving, you don’t pick up or interact with any items, no keys or secret passages to suss out. you just walk and look and listen. definitely melancholy, but then, the whole thing is what you make of it. also apparently there are loads are little background details that can change randomly each time you play it, if you’re into that.

firewatch is another one that seems creepy, but (i’m sorry to spoil, i just want people to be okay when they play!!) i promise you, if you can handle some sadness and bittersweetness, you’ll be fine. this game is a little treasure. i saw someone complain about the graphics and i like??? couldn’t disagree more? i mean first of all what do you expect but second all it’s got more of a painted feel to it than a hundred laboriously-created computer models. there are some views and areas that are just beyond lovely. anyway you play as henry, who’s come to sit alone in a tower in the middle of the wilderness for summer 1989? to watch for fires. henry’s a bit snarky and sad and would probably be played by paul giamatti. the other man character is his boss, delilah. the rapport the two develop is probably the high point of the game tbh. their banter is topnotch. while firewatch seems a little overwhelming in scope but it’s actually not. there’s not much gained by extraneously exploring but you’re welcome to it if you want. it’s mostly just a lot of walking with very easily navigable roads and rappelling and such while around you all this weird shit starts happening. henry and delilah discuss what it all means and what to do about it. all questions are answered by the end, except for the ones any good story leaves open for you to decide.

beyond eyes... i don’t quite want to say that i wished i never paid for or touched this game, because my reasons for my violent rejection of it are very personal. so, here it is neutrally. it seems like a colorful, peaceful game about a blind girl, rae, looking for her lost cat, nani. the catch is that rae is blind, and so you have to sort of “fill out” the world by walking around (laboriously slowly, bring patience). it really is lovely, kind of painterly-feeling with so many vibrant colors, and i was very pleased with it for a long while. and again, i don’t want to spoil it, but the ending caught me so off-guard, threw me for such a loop, and triggered me so unexpectedly that i immediately turned it off and deleted it from my system. suffice it to say the tone is a bit different from the rest of the game. so, i won’t tell anyone not to check it out. it is pretty and simple and it seems like the kind of game people might want to support financially. just... not me. it made me disproportionately angry and upset and ruined my day. if someone has played or does end up doing so, my reaction might seem a little extreme, but it was one of those things that struck hard without any warning and it was just not what i needed at the time.

i tried to wait for what remains of edith finch to go on sale and i failed. while i’m not convinced it has $20 worth of content (it’s possibly even shorter than dear esther but i’d have to check), it’s also gorgeous, so i guess we all make sacrifices. anyway i’m still sort of processing my feelings for this game. most of it is completely genius. it’s about a girl, edith, who’s returning to her family home for the first time in years. she’s the last finch left alive; they have a habit of dying young, most not even making it to adulthood. you find out the story of each finch and each is interactive in a different way, one you’re different animals, another it’s in the format of a comic book, it’s all really neat how it’s done. anyway, obviously this game talks about death a lot but never shows it; in fact, some of the sequences are so abstract you have to interpret them yourselves to decide what even happened. my main continuing reservation is... i don’t know what it’s trying to say. i don’t know what it’s all supposed to mean. i mean maybe it’s some crap about the value of life no matter how short or idk, but for the most part at the end i was kinda like, “ok.” i keep thinking i must be missing something, but i’ve no idea what. it’s kind of just a collection of interesting stories whose only discernible thread is they all happened to the same unfortunate family for some reason. it’s the kind of “open to interpretation” that makes me feel like something is lacking.  anyway i still loved it and do recommend.

kona. oh kona. let me start off by saying you can die in this one. they’re not that ubiquitous but there are creatures that can and will kill you, and sometimes they might startle you as well, and of course there’s the cold, which can also kill you. i kept getting pissed off at that fucking inventory because it was JUST BARELY too small and you never knew when you were going to need something. now that i actually do know it’ll probably be waaay less infuriating. there’s also a final boss, but the “fight” is basically you going “jesus christ it’s a lion get in the car.” it’s very intense, but i wouldn’t really call it scary. you don’t even have to do anything offensive at all to win, just run like hell. a couple more words about the gameplay: i mentioned the better coat. you actually can find the components you need for that early on and possibly go straight and get it? like i’m not sure if the game lets you but if it does, it makes exploration SO much easier. you still have to be careful but like. type b careful rather than type a. anyway it’s pretty much a must. um, you probably want to take your car for the sake of convenience, and also you can get a snowmobile later! there are a number of little achievements to earn, some of which make this game a lot more involved than any other on this list. like, it’s a very big area with poor visibility and you’re looking for very very small things WITH A CHEAP-ASS SWEATER CARL. anyway, as for what it’s actually about: you’re a detective again, come to québec in 1970 to find some seriously fucked up shit. this game isn’t really horror, it’s mostly just what the hell is going on this is so fucking bizarre. there narrative has a lot of stuff about colonialism and racism and a lot of Cree culture and lore driving it. it was funded by kickstarter btw. so yeah, a little too game-y, most intense and involved of the bunch, unsettled even me at times, but not meant to invoke terror or keep you up at night, only make you think about the circumstances that created this event.

flower is your friend. i’ve only played a little bit of it but honestly that’s all you need. you can just go back and do that bit as many times as you want cause this is a game that’s all about being a petal on the wind. it’s cute, it’s playful, both the score and visuals are charming and lovely. this is the game you play after running for your life in kona. recommended to have in your library if for no other reason than to know it’s always there when you need something simple and beautiful and andy dwyer is unavailable.

[peeterparkr]

okay so this one time, we were playing barbies and let me introduce you to the Finnegan family (it usually was the same family, unless we brought more barbies)

The mother: Cinderella Finnegan (no, it wasn’t actually a Cinderella doll, it was a Belle doll)

The Father: Larry Finnegan

The first daughter: Sprite Finnegan (Yes after the soda)

The twin sisters: Judy and Judy Finnegan (I don’t know)

The twin sons: Fred and George Finnegan (yah, we loved Harry Potter)

The Chef/Maid/Everything (he was a big Max Steel): Chipes (Who loved watching Barbie movies)

The Garbage guy (Whose backstory is literally a hobo which Larry found and wanted to keep him): Andrew

The Pizza delivery guy (Who was literally a Spider-Man doll and who Sprite had a crush on, yes I played Sprite): Peter Park (my cousin didn’t want him to be Parker because we said Park would be funnier idk)

The best friend (played by a pink Barbie): Mindy

The dog (a really ugly Pomeranian) : Ivanka (Who didn’t bark but said LAAAAAA)

And okay. Now you have the backstory. Now to the plot. (Another backstory, we were starting to play in the morning we were gonna leave to the beach).

They wanted to go to a Harry Potter concert. (Yes apparently he gave concerts) but, someone kidnapped Harry Potter.

That someone would be Judy Finnegan. (The blond one) So we had our Harry Potter doll tied in a room, and Larry walked in and saw him. He couldn’t believe what his children had done, so of course, he wanted to escape before anyone could find them.

The other max steels and kenn dolls were in search for the criminal, and the head chief was no other than Snow White , who wanted to plot revenge against Cinderella, because she had stolen the Spelling Bee from her, so of course, the parents decided it was time to get out of the country so their children wouldn’t be caught.

Fred and George, however, were talking to Harry Potter who was just an amazing guy and they even became friends. The boy who lived suddenly was to meet the oldest daughter, Sprite, who he fell in love deeply with.

Little did Harry Potter know, however, that she was already dating fellow pizza delivery guy, Peter Park. Whom would only mean trouble.

While The Judy twins were just amazed by having Harry Potter there, Chipes had problems of his own, because him and Andrew were not getting along well. Apparently while watching this kind of tv show (bacherlor like style idk) they had made a bet on who would win Barbie’s heart. (Barbie is the biggest celebrity here). But they both lost, and since Andrew found a loop on their bet, they both had to pay the money to each other, to which Chipes said, that they shouldn’t since it would be stupid to give each other the same amount of money.

Mindy came over to visit her friend, and was in awe when she encountered the famous wizard who gave concerts. You have to know, Mindy has a well known and well developed crush on Harry Potter. But after realizing Potter had a crush on Sprite, her jealousy controlled her and she called Peter.

Peter, enraged, swung his way over and fought against Potter.

But just as Sprite was going to stop the fight, their parents took them all away to leave the country.

(Since our parents didn’t let us take all the barbies to the beach) only the parents, the Judy twins and Sprite could leave.

So of course, in our heads, the police had caught Fred and George, Chipes, Andrew and Peter Park.

While the others were running criminals.

So, of course, they had to hide themselves. And since they couldn’t use their credit cards, they couldn’t go and pay a hotel.

Larry, however, came up with the brilliant idea to just sneak into a hotel room, by climbing over to it.

Just as they were going to sleep, they realized not only the police was searching for them, but the most dangerous gangster, Prince Charming. Who was enraged with the Judy twins, who worked for him, and they had promised to bring Harry Potter to him.

(It’ll now be perfect to mention the Judy twins were played by two tiny Kelly dolls)

Of course, Larry was sad. He was upset at himself for bringing his family to this, because, he knew it was all his fault. Had he done anything wrong?

Cinderella tried to calm him, and suggested to go to the pool.

The most tragic story, is that the parents were lost. (we left them by the pool and we guess someone stole them idk, so if you have a belle doll and a ken doll would you please give it back to me, I know it’s been 12 years but I really want them back)

So you now had Sprite to take care of her family. How could a 16 year old take care of all of them? Eventually, Sprite had to marry, against her will, Harry Potter when she came back to get everyone out of jail. And Prince Charming was now to live with them, because, he may run a mafia but he was homeless.

Snow White had won this time. But, someday, Sprite will get her revenge.

man, my cousin and I had some plots ™ back when we played Barbies

[purplesurveys]

378

For a change. I love Internet people for never running out of survey ideas.

Just say what you think of (doesn't have to be one-word answers) when I mention these. Quick, simple, just for fun. Curtain: I remember a story JM told us of when he nearly burned his house down when he was younger - he was flying paper airplanes but not without lighting the tips on fire. One of the planes landed on the curtain and I think it burned that particular room pretty bad or something. Door: I have a door to my right at the moment. It’s brown and I know my dog is waiting outside because I can hear his paws. Shoe: We went shoe hunting yesterday for Joacky, because he wanted a pair of the Nike Cortez. It’s widely popular in the PH right now so even though we visited like 7 shoe stores yesterday, we weren’t able to find one in the color that he likes. Pants: I finally got a pair of mom jeans yesterday and I can’t wait to wear it for school. I’m tired of wearing the same bottoms. Wig: I attended a workshop a few months ago where the speaker disclosed that she has leukemia, and she took off the wig she had been wearing the whole time to show us her head. I also remember the RuPaul Stans part of Twitter because they say ‘wig’ all the time...

Makeup: Kate made me her subject last Thursday and she played with my face and put makeup on it. Ended up feeling really pretty because she did a pretty awesome job. Instagram: I snubbed Instagram for the longest time but thought that a ‘one-pic-for-every-day-of-the-year’ dump account wouldn’t hurt, so I made one of those for 2019. My photography skills are absolutely nowhere to be found, and my gallery is super haphazard, but I really want to make an effort to store memories this year. YouTube: Hmm first thing I thought of was PewDiePie. I subscribed to the dude when he had like 60,000 subscribers eight years ago and only had a couple of Amnesia montages up. I always feel like a proud momma/early bird whenever I remember how far and how big he’s gotten since. Life: Exhaustion, mainly. It’s gonna start snowballing by next year when I graduate. It’ll be nonstop from there - facing the prospect of coming out to my parents, graduating, getting a job, getting my first credit card, moving out, paying bills...it’s all very exhausting, exhilarating, exciting, and overwhelming to think about. Chili: Gabie and I had Japanese for early dinner last week, and I was a little weirded out by the restaurant because each seat had a red chili pepper on the placemat? I’m talking every damn seat in the place??? Idk if it’s some sort of good luck charm for the owners but it made things very slightly unsettling hahaha. Cherry: There was a WWE Diva named Cherry like ten years ago who had the gimmick of a 50′s chick, I think...I was never quite sure what her character was supposed to be, but she had roller-skates every time she went to the ring and would sometimes wear outfits with polka dots so I thought she was pretty cute.   Neil: Armstrong. Haha I was going through Reddit awhile ago when I saw a video of Buzz Aldrin punch a dude who went up to him and said that the moon landing was a hoax. Not exactly Neil Armstrong but still a good story. Drive: I like watching car chases. It’s almost...therapeutic when the suspect crashes or loses control of his car and finally gets caught. Murder: I never got into How To Get Away With Murder. It’s too fast-paced for my life. I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t understand legal concepts because so many people are able to catch up with this show even if Viola Davis speaks a thousand words a minute and they’re all really deep words??? Idk HAHAHA. I watched like two episodes and felt super dumb after. Ice cream: OMG I hate a la mode desserts. I’d eat anything, but I wouldn’t eat two separate things with different textures. Get your ice cream away from my brownie. Water: I can’t wait to go back to the beach. Hard: Hammer? It was the first image to pop up in my head. Anne: Harry Styles’ mom is named Anne hahaha the Directioner in me jumped out, sorry not sorry. Cow: There’s this video that went viral a few months ago of a girl who was playing the accordion; all of a sudden this adorable herd of like 15 cows come running up to her and just intently watch the kid. Wholesome af. Frog: Frog legs are served in some Philippine provinces. Tastes like chicken. Cheese: My lactose intolerant ass will grate half a block of cheese (exaggeration, but you get the point) for my spaghetti. That’s the only way to enjoy pasta. Bowl: Can’t really think of anything except that bowl cuts look so cute on babies hahaha. Television: Is something I never use nowadays unless I’m staying over at a hotel. Other than that, I cannot tell you the last time I held a TV remote control to change the channel or something. Skull: There’s an episode of Friends where Phoebe brings home a skull and nonchalantly sets it on the table where Monica, Rachel, and Chandler were hanging out. Chandler goes, “Pheebs...skull?” Phoebe says, “Yeah, it’s my mom’s,” and Rachel shrieks until Phoebe clarifies that her mom owned the skull, and that the skull wasn’t of her mom. Underrated segment. Rachel’s mini-meltdown was hilarious. Seasons: I had to watch Rent for film class several months ago. Terrible movie. Cemented my dislike for musicals. This is what I remembered because afaik this is the musical that has the minutes song. Language: I can speak two and can understand some archaic/modern Spanish because they conquered us for 300 years and subsequently ruined my country. Trump: McDonald’s. An international embarrassment. Chocolate: We found this AMAZING Chocnut spread at the mall yesterday. I had my initial doubts - I thought it was gonna taste like a cheap Nutella rip-off. But it tastes exactly like Chocnut, just in the most perfect spread-y form. I plan to finish the entire jar just with a spoon. Stove: I’m terribly afraid of using any and every kitchen equipment because I have a big fear of setting the house on fire. I only ever use the stove when I’m deathly hungry and I have to make something by myself. Toy: My family recently went to a kid’s birthday party that had giveaway bags with toys inside, but seeing as we’re all teenagers now who had no use for it, it was earning dust in the house. Now, the Philippines is abound with street children so when we went out yesterday, my mom gave the bag to a couple of kids who were knocking on our car. I know I’m not supposed to romanticize the situation, but they had the biggest smiles when they realized what they got and I saw them playing merrily at the side of the street and even invited some other kids to join in. Again, not glamorizing it - I’m just happy they were happy. Video: I could never run out of things to watch on YouTube. It’s one of my favorite websites, especially when bouts of depression have to happen. Kiss: It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, IT WAS ONLY A KISS. Glass: The glass section of department stores always creeped me out. One wrong move and you can knock a whole shelf down, and the ‘You break it you pay for it’ signs all over the area don’t help at all. Light: Light and queen come together in this survey and all I remember is Lightning McQueen. Queen: ^ Moon: Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Moon river, wider than a mile, I’m crossing you in style some day.  Blue: My organization’s color is blue, so I have a soft spot for blue. Cream: I like soups that are creamy. I say this because my sister had ramen yesterday and it was so oily and salty and fatty and creamy and ugh I loved it. Dead: The Misfits. They’re more horror than death, but still. Purple: My great-grandma loved the color purple and I remember when her house used to be peppered in purple stuff. All her dresses were purple. I’m fairly sure it was the reason why it was my favorite color as a kid. Lace: Underwear, hahaha. Cardboard: Gabie was munching on sunflower seeds when I picked her up last week. I’ve never tried those, so I asked for some and I said it tasted like cardboard. I’ve never eaten cardboard but I would imagine that that’s what it tastes like. Elephant: Majestic. Deserves to be saved and properly cared for. Harry: One of my fave members of the royal family. He’s so precious. Leather: Is bad. Paisley: Isn’t there a country singer with this name? Italy: Pasta and stuff. Joey Tribbiani. Immature: I saw the gun girl Kaitlin-something on Twitter because she got viral again for a dumb-ass tweet she made. She posted pics of herself in the snow and tweeted “Look at all this global warming,” like seriously America??? Wtf do they teach y’all in your schools?????? Crime: Raisins in cookies. Angel: I had a friend named Angel - talked about her a lot in old surveys. She migrated to Canada when we were 12 and I haven’t seen her since. We do follow each other on Twitter but all she tweets about is K-pop so I had to put her on mute. Great memories with her. Boil: When I read this tweet aloud in my head, what I did think of was Charles Boyle from B99. Key: Key lime pie. Never tried it, but I’m always down to try anything. Sacrifice: The Catholic schoolgirl in me remembers the crucifixion because textbooks and teachers would overuse the phrase, “Jesus sacrificed his life for our sins” or “God sacrificed his son to save the world,” and all those cheesy lines. It’s as though the Bible’s favorite word is ‘sacrifice.’ Larry: Punk and AJ’s dog is named Larry Talbot. Dog: ^ Psychology: I took one psych elective last semester, but the prof was average at best so it didn’t really win over the course as a whole to me. Psychology was one of my ‘what-if’ courses so at the start, I was excited about taking it - but the class that I had was just so boring and the prof gave tests that were way too hard for otherwise fairly easy topics, so I quickly ran out of enthusiasm for the class. Rag: I hate touching rags. Especially wet ones UGH. Sun: Hate it, unless I’m at the beach. Lips: My friends dragged me to the makeup section of the department store last week and there were rows upon rows of lipstick testers. As someone who’s never purposely browsed for makeup, I ended up swatching like 20 shades on my wrist and looked like a five year old who doodled all over her whole left arm. Cage: The UFC ring, because it looks like a cage. Alarm: I had/have several alarms set on my phone throughout today to tell me to start working on various deliverables. For example, I had an 8 AM alarm to work on my J 196 paper; then from 8:30 AM I had an alarm to compose letters that I needed to write as my org’s secretary; then at around 10 AM, my alarm was for finishing up my readings for Kas 154 (short for kasaysayan, which means history). Official: I have a batchmate from high school who just got engaged...she was honestly one of the weirder ones back then so as much as I didn’t want to judge, it was hard to take it seriously at first, but it’s whatevs. I have no business in her life and I’m happy she’s happy. King: I finished my history readings this morning and there were so many mentions of kings. Lost: That show. The general consensus is that they ended the show crappily, but other than that I know nothing about it. Dating: There was once a dude who joined a dating show. Ended up being a serial killer. I forgot his name though. Balm: I was at a Korean store yesterday and saw an array of lip balms and glosses. I was never much of a makeup girl but the collection they had was just so cute, it made me think if I should start investing in makeup as well hah. Tomato: Ketchup is my second least favorite condiment after mustard. Game: Hmmm I downloaded a bunch of new game apps on my phone because I recently realized that I’m so boring??? and I only have social media on my phone??? I got ten new apps to make my phone more alive haha. Lotion: Is slimy, but smells nice and makes my skin smooth and look better. I got two hand creams for Christmas last year and it was then that I knew I was getting older because I was genuinely excited to try them both out. Expensive: Everything is. Powder: Reminds me of babies. The smell calms me down so well. Cross: I was shopping for clip-on earrings yesterday and there were several designs with crosses on them, which just reminded me of Christianity and it kinda peeved me for like 3 minutes lol. History: My favorite subject. I’ve never been so excited to be dumped on with such a thick stack of readings until this semester. Sex: Haven’t had it in a bit, too busy. Rainbow: We watched a film called Rainbow’s Sunset, which was really promising because it told a story about two men, both very old, and are lovers. In a traditional, conservative, poisonously Catholic country such as the PH, it’s a very bold move to produce a feature film that tackled such a horrible, taboo, horrifying thing (please note the sarcasm/mockery). We didn’t escape the guffaws and the loud ew’s whenever the two leads would kiss, which was sad. 

Anyway that’s not my point and what I really want to say is that the film was ultimately terrible, it was terribly-executed and it portrayed gay men in such a cheesy manner which in the long run, probably contributes to the continuing negative image of LGBT people in the Philippines. Gab, the bigger film buff between the two of us, felt so offended by how bad the movie turned out to be lol. Bay: Bayley, from WWE. She was a huge star like 3 years ago, but I think the bookers ultimately fucked her character up and now she’s stale. I feel so bad. Seth: Seth Rollins, also from WWE. Also very attractive. Pepper: I had okonomiyaki for lunch yesterday and there was like a thicker chunk of pepper that made it to my plate. Didn’t particularly enjoy that bite. Necrophile: Katie Vick. Google it to believe it. Wrestling is fucking dumb. Gravel: Funnily enough I do have a memory for gravel. Akeelah and the Bee was one of my favorite movies growing up; I watched it so many times that I had chunks of dialogue memorized at one point. One of the first scenes had Akeelah joining her school’s spelling bee, and one of the kids spelled grovel as g-r-a-v-e-l. He couldn’t understand why he got it wrong so the judge had to tell him that the word ‘grovel’ actually exists and what it means. Deep: I had a mental picture of the ocean when I read this word, so there’s that. Stephen: Hawking. Bucket: Chum Bucket. Hahaha Spongebob forever. England: Rugby? Grown: I always use the term ‘grown-ass’ haha. Spell: Spelling was one of my favorite activities in grade school and I would always score the highest in spelling exams. Kind of led me to my favorite job of proofreading/copyediting, really. Bark: My dog barked at nothing for five whole minutes a couple of days ago and it was hilarious. I shot two minutes of it. Long: Trees? Fan: Pamaypay, or hand fans in English.

Australia: First things that came to mind were the Sydney Opera House and Vegemite. Iron: Gabie’s nose bled last week. It wouldn’t stop flowing out of her nostrils and it smelled like rust for a good 15 minutes while she was trying to wash all the blood off, so it didn’t exactly help my case as someone who’s squeamish to death at the sight of blood. Melt: Chocolate. Beanie: Too warm for this country’s climate. Wax: Candles. Vigils. Burning your finger. Staying up all night to pray. Catholic school. Disease: Zombies. Resident Evil. Cannibal: The band Cannibal Corpse. Tried to get into them because Punk listened to them but it was too heavy for me. Flight: Airplanes, flights, vacations, away from everyone, nothing to worry about, good food, fighting with my siblings for the window seats. Porn: People be having weird fetishes sometimes. The thumbnails I see on websites...some of y’all crazy. Pot: I thought about how college life is so crazy. People would sell brownies or cookies with weed in them IN SCHOOL, meanwhile I still don’t even know if weed and pot are the same or if they’re two different things ohmygod HAHAHAHA I’m so sheltered wow I’m hopeless?????? Style: Taylor Swift and that subtle shade to Harry. People were shookened five years ago. Floss: Pork floss is really good. Star: There was a local celebrity who recently tweeted a pic, supposedly of a tiny tiny star that was beside the moon at like 5 AM, and she was asking what it was. Someone replied that it was Venus and explained what she just saw for her. Super cool. Nate: I don’t know anyone named Nate. I DID, however, remember the Naked Brothers Band. The older brother is named Nat, so it’s close enough. Soft: Pillows are soft. Orange: Hayley Williams’ hair 11 years ago. Witch: Philippine superstitions and how crazy and obsessive Filipinos can get. My mom, one of the most rational, no-nonsense people I know, scolds me every time I mock witchcraft or what we call ‘kulam’ cos she believes something will happen to me if I do. I’m all for honoring our mythology and traditions but sheesh, not to the obsessive extent. Mound: Ants. Root: Gabie used to watch this show where she shipped two girls named Root and Shaw. Oil: Massages. Hot: Deserts. Disc: Childhood, blowing on it to make it work, double-sided discs for longer movies, if a disc had scratches expect it to die soon. Soil: Plants. Planting trees. Muddy. Ugly: That scene in Spongebo where Patrick tells the story of the ugly barnacle. “Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end,” which didn’t help Spongebob who at the time was feeling super ugly hahahahaha. Sugar: Maroon 5. Also, my grandma used one particular jar for sugar throughout my entire childhood. It’s plastic, it’s clear, and it came with a red-orange lid. I’d often eat sugar on its own so I saw that jar quite a bit and it gives me a sense of nostalgia. I’m not so sure if that’s still the jar being used in the old house. Bone: Ribs :( Been craving for some. Sigh: Air??? I don’t know. Throne: Game of Thrones. I had to watch a 26-minute documentary of a GoT production for my broadcast management class. It’s insanely hard. So much respect to everyone involved in its prod. Calendar: I’m secretary for my org, which means that I always have to update everyone about our calendar of events. Carpet: Fancy. Flesh: The Walking Dead. Cement: Dangerous. Vow: The movie with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. One of my guiltier pleasures. Sweet: Desserts. And now I’m hungry.