#unironically I think this is my best human art style...

[benetnvsch]

pop star but I'm ur boyfriend's favorite dj~

____________

decided to draw The sillies ever as a warmup for tonight- I need to draw my own OCs more,, they're everything and I'm their only fan ,,

[ouraboras]

Ranking Alucard's Designs, Best to Worst

I've had a rough day and feel like being mean. These are just my opinions. Some rules:

I’m not counting each game a character appears in unless the design is noticeably different. I don’t count different art styles as a different design. I’m not counting the mobile game skins with two exceptions. For the most part it’s just him but purple. However, for your pleasure, joker Alucard:

Symphony of the Night

No surprise. It’s his most iconic design. He’s gorgeous. I enjoy how he wears a mixture of human clothes (the jacket) and more stereotypical vampire clothing like the cape. Same with warm colors with black and silver.

2. Grimoire of Souls

I love this design. I kiss it every night before I go to bed. I pray to it on Sundays. His waist makes me go feral. The only thing that bothers me is the brown lining. I wish they did something like the inside of his SotN jacket.

3. Moonlight Rhapsody – Outfit 3

I know absolutely nothing about this game. However, I love this skin. In my head when I imagine Alucard pre-Dracula betrayal this is it. The collar is a bit silly but I can look past it. I love the sleeves. The only critique I have is the brown and we’ll get to my feeling on Alucard wearing brown. But on this outfit, it’s not too bad.

4. Nocturne

They gave him his gay little neck ruffle back nature is healing. I wish they kept the details on the coat, but I’ll happily take the trade. I like his face.

5. The cancelled Dracula’s Curse movie concept art

I need to know what the context behind this would have been. The skirt, the pauldrons, his bloody hands, HIS HAIR PUSHED BACK. The only thing I dislike is his black nipple.

6. Aria and Dawn of Sorrow

I like the suit. The red pocket square is nice. I think it is a really interesting choice for it to be red rather than yellow as a callback. I love the choice to make him resemble Dracula pre-vampirism. All of his color has been drained and replaced with black and red. I go back and forth on if I hate or like (for symbolic reasons) his tie-neck ruffle thing. But none of that is my real problem with the design. His shoes are hideous. The heel is good.  He deserves a little heel. But what is going on with the white. It's ugly and going to be a bitch to keep clean. His slacks are too long. He’s a government agent, he can afford to go to a tailor.

7. Season 1 & 2 of the show

I dislike the shirt. I’m not a big fan of how they drew his face either. But I like how they gave him Trevor’s chest scar.

8. Captain N

He’s so rad. But to be honest, Captain N Alucard has a special place in my heart. I remember when this was the closest thing to an animated series Castlevania had. It being this high is purely my nostalgia. I highly recommend watching the episode. It is pure 90s camp.

9. Season 4 of the show

Whore.

10. Grimoire of Souls – Blood and Loyalty

I can’t find a better look at this skin. He’s apparently dressed as a samurai. I like this purely because his hair is up. I don’t see enough of that. (artists pls you’d be doing the world a service)

11. Lords of Shadow 2

The only thing I like about this design is the coat. The dark blue with gold looks really good. I don’t like the belts, but I can ignore them. My issue is the armor. I hate the bronze so much. The armor on one hip is ugly. The ONLY thing that salvages this crime is the fact this Alucard is wearing the highest heels. This looks like an MMO armor set.

12. Judgement

I only unironically like 2 of Judgement’s designs. This is not one of them. I dislike it purely because of how boring it is. They put Simon in bondage gear, gave Trevor a boob window, and made Sypha a Catholic magical girl. But Alucard has to be more modest than the actual child. They could have fun with this but didn't. The most interesting thing about this design is they made a vintage couch into his cape.

13. Dracula’s Curse

This is Alucard’s original design. It’s just your standard pop culture vampire. I like his little owl hair tufts.

14. Legends

I’m fine with changing up Alucard’s design. Hell, we got SotN because of changing it. However, why is he blue? It’s not this illustration either he is just light blue for some reason. I like the short hair. I think it’s a cute way to show this game takes place in the past. But again, purple? Really? His necktie is not doing it for me either. It looks really bad.

15. And finally, last and certainly least: Pachinko and Moonlight Rhapsody

The faces? Good. Hair? Good. But for some reason they made his coat brown. At LEAST for pachinko they had some gold gauntlets and brown gloves instead of his sleeve cuffs. But whatever fucked up person at Konami did the design for MR kept the sleeve cuffs. It’s not like there is the excuse of ‘Oh the inside is black’ because it’s yellow. Now you might be asking: Why is this the worst? I have similar issues with other designs. But here is the thing, they all did something new. This is just your standard SotN Alucard with a color palette change. It looks like a recolor skin but it’s the main one. It's a bad change but not one bad enough to not be boring.

[maplefiasco]

8 Shows To Know Me

Thanks for the tag, @booksandabeer! This was extremely difficult and I look forward to kicking myself in a week when I remember some other show that's 20% of my personality but I totally blanked on when making this list.

No pressure tagging: @asmoonlightthroughthepines, @scare-ard--sleigh, @msmandapants, @blithers, @dontcallmebree and anyone else up for distilling themselves down to eight tv shows!

Okay let's do this!

Star Trek The Next Generation

TNG imprinted on me in 4th or 5th grade. I'd watch it every night before dinner and have lots of opinions about the holodeck and Data. Did I put a headband in front of my eyes and call it LaForge's visor? Yes. Did I unironically love the cheesy episodes like Rascals, The Game, and Disaster? Absolutely. It was also my intro to fannishness, pre-internet. One of my friend's dads had a stack of action figures, and a Riker uniform he'd break out at Halloween. I remember being confused by his whole deal, but mostly thinking it was really cool.

Flight of the Conchords

I saw this promo before the first season premiered and was instantly sold, it was so silly and unassuming. I was in college which is just. the perfect age to find everything about it delightful and hilarious and to be low-key in love with both Bret and Jemaine. I'm pretty sure I've thought about some lyric or throwaway line or small facial expression every day since 2007.

New Girl

I made myself limit this list to only one 2000s/2010s network comedy. New Girl edged out The Office, Parks & Rec, Community, 30 Rock, and even my beloved dark horse, Happy Endings. It's pure comfort. Every character is the best character.

Severance

I will not rest until everyone is as obsessed with this show as me. I've already watched season 1 three times, and I'll probably watch it all the way through again before season 2 comes out. It just hits all my buttons. Eerie weirdness! Sci-fi elements explored at a very personal, human level! Retro corporate dystopian branding and decor! Random moments of absurdity! Existential dread! Defiant jazz!

The Magicians

One doesn't keep up a semi-active sideblog for four years (?!!) and counting for a show without being permanently altered and irreparably damaged by it. One day, a work friend and I were talking tv and she went, "you would like this show! I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but you would like it!" For better or worse... she was not wrong. (On the fandom side, the fic for this show is just exquisite. The art, edits, and gifs are impeccable. I'm grateful it compelled me to start making stuff more regularly. Fussy, high-effort stuff!)

Better Call Saul

I know, I know *pikachu surprised face* that this one made the list. Y'know that post that makes the rounds every once in awhile, about 'ships and fictional relationships that's like, "sure they're in love or whatever. But, like... do they even like each other?" I think this silly lawyer prequel to the crime-and-drugs show accidentally became the best display of two people who like and love each other on tv. (Also yes, everything else about it is A++. Meticulous. Stressful. Exhilarating. No notes.)

Simpsons (Seasons 1-8ish)

This feels like an embarrassingly basic answer, but my personality really is just several early seasons of The Simpsons in a trench coat. It's what shaped my sense of humor. It's the foundation of my marriage. It's why I knew what Citizen Kane was at eight years old.

Pushing Daisies

Pushing Daisies was one of the first times I felt like, "oh! Someone made a show for me specifically!" Every single element was a feast for the eyes, from the saturated colors, to the quirky, overly literal sets, to Chuck's outfits, to Lee Pace's face. Baking AND knitting were heavily featured in every episode! There was a cute romance with supernatural complications. There was whimsical, fairy tale-style Jim Dale narration!

Runners up include: Tuca & Bertie, Buffy, Firefly, Freaks & Geeks, Mad Men, Home Movies, Legion, WandaVision, The Mandalorian, and Lost.

[finchie-finch]

Heyo!!! X3

I suppose you could call this my personal blog, so salutations are in order!

You can call me Finch, but I also go by Ollie!! I'm a self-taught artist with no set style, I just like creating art for the joy n whimsy of it :3

Incase you're wondering about specifics; I'm a 13 year old FTM enby, living on Earth, using she/he/they pronouns ((mainly they/them))

Possible questions y'all may have::

Why did you make this account ?

For a long time I've felt that images can express my emotions and passions more than words, especially since I've been mentally disabled my entire life and have never been the best at regulating my emotions physically or verbally, that only a piece of artwork that I've poured hours into will even begin to scratch the surface of the depth of my likes and dislikes and most importantly feelings.

What are you planning on posting on this account ?

Obviously my art first and foremost ((all of which I can guarantee is all by me, including my profile picture! There will be little to no reposts on this blog, an if there is any they'll properly credited art sources such as AI disturbance filters and programs)) but also I want this to be my drawing archive; there's few feelings worse than losing my OGs to time imo ":3

+ a note to people who use human made art to input to an AI to make new art::

I use an AI disturbance filter on all my published art, don't even fuckin' think about it or else I'll bite your goddamn face off

Cats, not much to it, I've just always loved animals but especially cats! I currently have two rescue cats, both male, their names unironically Mario and Luigi >:3

Videogames are another one of my passions, more like a favorite pass time though; it's been my hyper fixation for years, about a decade probably

I like plushies n soft warm blankets fresh from the dryer because that's how I build my forts (I like to refer to myself as having a packrat mindset)

Ever since I was a lil kiddo I've had a passion for LPS, I remember as a child wanting to be one of the many LPS-Tubers and spending my free time writing scripts for my videos (which were never published publicly, only shared with close family, and the little that remain are archived)

I luv soft colors, as they don't tend to strain my eyes as much as bright colors do ((tho I also like bright colors, just in moderation))

Uneven things ((mostly items/furniture)), one abbreviation: OCD

Cliffhangers, I need closure!!

Being noticed in public— zoinks, not my thing lol. I have horrible social anxiety, always have, nothing new ^^"

Last but definitely not least, a list of ppl in need (I myself can't donate but I hope some caring adults may find my account and be able to help in some way, no pressure though it's your money so it's your choice what you do with it), this list is only a very small fraction though; please tell me of more ppl to add:

★ https://www.tumblr.com/m430235341

[cayenne-twilight]

Professor Layton Iceberg Explanation

As I said in the tags of the original, the iceberg I made was a meme consisting of both real theories and satire/parodies/fandom memes. If anyone is interested, I can work on an unironic version that only has real theories.

Buckle in because this post is LONG and heavily saturated with lore and information.

Actual theories

Parallel universe 1960s where the world wars didn’t happen. There’s an unused file in Curious Village that shows the year as 1960 and the time machine from UF is set to 1973, ten years into the future. The series canonically takes place in an undefined time period (hence the technological inaccuracies and fantasy elements), but it’s based off the 60s. There’s more evidence but we don’t have time to go over every little thing. I linked my “no wars” theory below but TL;DR the outdated airplanes and underdeveloped medicine in the Layton series imply that the world wars may never have happened. https://cayenne-twilight.tumblr.com/post/632205992162099200/outofcontextdiscord-timegearremix-zonosils-war

The real meaning behind the statue in Future London. In UF, the purpose of the statue is to spark Layton and Luke’s conversation about their friendship. Luke is stressing out about moving overseas and sees himself and the professor in the story behind the statue, but in the bigger picture, Clive must have been the one to commission it. Some theorize that the little boy is Clive and the man is either his father or the professor. One idea I’ve seen is that Clive wishes he could be Luke for real, while another is that he wishes he died ten years ago, and another is that he’s literally terminally ill explaining why he doesn’t care about consequence. Personally, I think “the boy succumbed to his illness” refers to his mental illness seeing as he wanted the professor to save him from his madness as he saved him all those years ago.

True location of Monte D’Or. there are no deserts on the British isles to my knowledge, so it makes the most sense for Monte D’Or to be in Southwest USA where English is the default language, they have a desert, and there exists a city famous for flashy hotels, casinos, and entertainment. What makes it odd is that nobody ever mentions overseas travel, and all the major characters are from England.

Loosha’s origins are not explicitly explained if I remember correctly, but the implication was that her prehistoric (supposedly) species was sealed away along with the garden, allowing them to survive all the way to the time of LS until Loosha was the only one left. The garden provided a good habitat and protection from predators, and it’s logical that they’d slowly die out anyways, but there’s no explanation of any specific factors that led to Loosha being the last.

Beasley is not a bee I wrote a post about this one as well, but TL;DR Beasly lacks several defining bee traits whilst having several human ones. He is not human, yet, by definition, not a bee. It’s possible that he is the result of Dimitri’s testing, but whatever his untold story is, he remains an enigma of nature. https://cayenne-twilight.tumblr.com/post/632381715250282496/theory-beasly-isnt-a-bee

Subject 2’s identity is currently unknown. There is a subject one (parrot) and subject 3 (rabbit) so there has to be a second. For a long time, people suspected Beasly to be him seeing as he’s a bit of an amalgamation and definitely not a regular bee (see above). After the release of LMJ, though, people began to suspect Sherl, the intelligent hound who could speak to certain people but not others. That being said, it’s possible for one to be subject 4. Sherl’s memory of a bright flash matches up with subject 3’s memory of being electrocuted. They never explain why the animals were being experimented on, but it was probably Dimitri making sure the conditions of his machine were safe for humans before reliving the incident from ten years ago.

Lady Violet died from the plague from DB. There’s no evidence for this or anything, it’s just an idea. People say she died from the flu but I don’t remember them saying that in the game, at least the US version. Extending off my “no war” theory: it’s theorized that the Spanish Flu was spread by the travlelling soldiers, so if that’s true, it’s possible for the epidemic to have been averted for some decades. Maybe the Spanish Flu reached England later than in real life. The hole in this is that DB’s plague must’ve been close in time to 1918 while Violet’s death was much later, so it would’ve had to stick around.

Bill Hawks is working with Targent and Arthur Cantabella. There was a force in the shadows buying the time machine technology from Bill. Someone with a ton of money who helped him cover up a freak accident and get away with it completely, a feat that involved shady means like violence by hired thugs. Some theorize that it was Targent, seeking power over time in exchange for a little mafia magic. The Labarynthia project was sponsored by the UK government, so as the PM, Bill must’ve known about it. He probably supported dubiously ethical, high stakes (witch pun) psychological experiments like Cantabella’s and helped him stay in the shadows.

All the NPCs in St. Mystere and Folsense are dead. I make fun of this type of theory later, but they’re admittedly captivating. I’m pretty sure the canon in CV is that the villagers are Bruno and Augustus’s OCs that they made robots of and built a town around, but it’s more interesting to think that the village was there before, and the townspeople died of a plague and were replaced like Lady Violet. In Folsense, there really was a plague and they never explain the NPCs there. They’re either real people who appear way younger than they are due to hallucinations (even the ones who already look old ?), or they don’t exist at all, which is pretty spooky. This part of the story is a gaping plot hole. In a similar vein to CV, the edgy yet plausible theory is that they used to live in Folsense but died of the plague and now live on as hallucinations.

Hershel seeing everything as a puzzle is a coping mechanism for all his trauma. This was a joke but I thought about it for more than five seconds and it makes way too much sense.

Plot holes and unexplained questions that we like to overthink because it’s fun

The downfall of the Azran was vaguely explained in canon by people being so greedy that it lead to the civilization collapsing. It’s not a stretch to imagine that happening, but it would’ve been more interesting with a little more detail.

Layton and Luke are programmed to routinely forget how to walk. I didn’t know whether to list this in the joke section or not, but it’s odd that the characters actively participate in the walking tutorial (as opposed to showing a little memo to the player) as if they didn’t know how to before, especially when they go through this several times a year.

The truth behind Pavel. He’s simply a joke character who teleports, is a polyglot (sort of, at least he wants us to think he is) and is mega confused all the time. He’s a fun character to make crack theories about because of his cryptic nature that even he doesn’t seem to understand.

Miracle Mask deleted scenes. The first trailer for MM featured animations that were not in the final game. One was the Randall falling scene, except in a slightly different style than the one we know. Others were completely foreign, like Layton and Luke pacing across a theatre stage as if Layton’s about to expose someone with a dramatic point. Cut content and “could’ve beens” are always curious to think about.

Evan Barde: secret mastermind. Arianna and Tony’s dad is a mysterious character who died under mysterious circumstances. I think the canon is that his death was a genuine accident, but concept art of him making a creepy evil face suggests that maybe he originally had a larger role in the first drafts of LS than the finished game.

The secret to how Paul and Des pull off their disguises is unclear and will remain unclear. There is no plausible explanation for their shape shifting. Unless Paul is just a little dude wearing a human suit like that one Wizard of Oz species and Des is the best quick-changer ever and hides his naturally feminine legs under his cloak.

Alfendi’s mom. When LBMR came out people scrambled to piece together who Hershel had a kid with, but there’s no way alfendi is his biological son. This happened with Kat as well and her biological parents turned out to be brand new characters, so I’m sure Al will get an adoption backstory if his arc continues, be his parents old major characters or nameless, faceless NPCs.

Granny Riddleton and Stachenscarfen are omnipotent deities. Idk which section this fits best under, but these two characters have some serious power. At first introduction, they’re implied to be robots, but they appear everywhere in later games. They follow the Professor wherever he goes and assist him on his adventures, GR collecting puzzles and housing them by some odd magic, and Stachen teaches you how to walk. They both introduce and supervise the gameplay. By extension, I guess this idea could apply to Albus as well in the prequels. GR and Stachen even had the power to appear in LMJ, something no major character could do. I consider them akin to the velvet room attendants from the Persona games.

Clive’s kill count is a vague subject in the game for the sake of keeping it PG. I don’t know if anyone’s ever mathematically estimated the damage he caused, and I sure don’t want to try, but the game appears to push the idea that he didn’t kill anyone at all, saying they stopped him in the nick of time and things like that, even though we watch him raze the city. If they ever want to bring him back post-time skip, I can see them twisting it so that the mobile fortress cutscene wasn’t a linear sequence of events, but instead a compilation of scenes over the course of hours so that London neighborhoods around him could be evacuated and have it make sense. Knowing Level-5, it’s more likely that they wouldn’t think this deep and do something more lazy, though.

Memes and references

Post-time skip Flora is real references the famous L is real theory from Super Mario 64. Like Luigi in SM64, Flora was also a highly anticipated character who didn’t appear in a new game, in this case LMJ or LMDA. In the end, Luigi did become real in the DS port so hopefully Flora is real will be realized as well.

Hershel can’t read is a veteran fandom meme referring to how in the first few games, especially Curious Village, Layton asks Luke to read every document out loud for him. Perhaps this was an exercise to improve Luke’s reading skills and independent thinking, or perhaps he was just too lazy or preoccupied to do it himself, but this grew into the joke that our genius Professor was actually illiterate this whole time.

Layton’s smash invitation is hidden in PLvsAA. It’s no secret that the fandom would kill a man to get the Professor into the smash brothers franchise. In PLvsAA one of the puzzle artworks features a goat eating a familiar white envelope with a red stamp, sparking the joke that either Layton or Wright got the invitation their respective fans desired, but it got lost along the way.

The science board is the mysteriously vague organization Don Paolo got kicked out of for the crime of being evil. It’s the epitome of liberal arts majors and art school graduates trying to bs their way around not knowing any science and failing miserably. “He was very good at all the sciences, but then the CEO of science told him to stop because he was using the power of science for evil science”. They do this again when “Dr. Stahngun” describes his time machine what with the soolha coils and whatnot.

Hoogland is death cult initiation is a parody of “Mario 64 is Freemason initiation” which is ridiculous, just like the creepy human sacrifice subplot of AL.

You can see the reflection of someone watching you in Aurora’s eye references the famous, creepy Talking Angela theory. In retrospect it would’ve been funnier if I said Angela instead of Aurora.

Every copy of Professor Layton is personalized references the famous “every copy of Super Mario 64 is personalized”

Clive’s fat ass in HD is a meme that originated from the announcement of UFHD, saying that half of the excited fans wanted to cry again while the other half were simply attracted to Clive. If we want to enter real bottom-section-of-the-iceberg-chart territory then let’s say Clive’s character has some sort of psychological siren properties that draw people to him like a magnet and/or Harry Styles.

Things I pulled out of my ass for shits and giggles

Infinite hint coin hack: I’m sure a tech savvy cheater could hack the game for infinite hint coins, but there’s no easy or interesting way. I don’t know why someone would do that though, considering a lot of the hints suck and there are puzzle guides on the internet.

Cringy, unused Randall villain monologue. This joke is derived from the actual scrapped MM content as well as deleted content being a popular element of iceberg charts, but it’s sadly not real. Would’ve been hilarious, though.

Last Specter Puzzle 031: Light Height tracks and records children’s intelligence level. It doesn’t, but it’s always fun to make fun of arguably THE most ridiculously difficult puzzle in the franchise. (Seriously, do they expect 7+ year olds to know trigonometry???)

Hershel struggles with tea addiction. Hershel from the games drinks tea in moderation, but the manga begs to differ. He has a tea set in the Laytonmobile, and an attempt at teatime while driving causes him to crash.

Folsense is a metaphor for Alzheimer’s. This is inspired by those edgy kids’ show theories where everyone’s in hell or something, but nobody has ever said this.

London Life is reality and the plot of the games is all in Luke’s head. That’s one way to fill every plot hole. How funny would it be if Luke made up crazy characters and stories based off his fellow townspeople Sharkboy and Lavagirl style. “This dude who lives in a castle and asks people to give him all their money for nothing in return is a vampire from 50 years ago involved in a tragic love story”.

Secret ending encoded into Tago’s Head Gymnastics. It’d be crazy if there was, and Dimitri would hound Tago for the secret to time travel. If you didn’t know, the Layton games started as an adaption of Akira Tago’s puzzle series, except they decided to add a story to make it more interesting and marketable.

Daily puzzles datamine your DS. I’m bad with technology but is it even possible to datamine a DS??? Idk, but I think my DS lite from 2008 is safe.

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

Ok modern zuko would be an expert at breakdancing and sokka would be the guy who just bi-panicks whenever he does

(whoops, my hand slipped and I accidentally wrote a modern au headcanon turned zukka karate au one-shot) 

Okay but consider this instead: Zuko doesn’t know how to dance for shit and has horrible rhythm, but he is a GOD at martial arts. He’s been doing some type of style since he was a kid and is a full black belt by the time he hits high school. Martial arts was always something he excelled at, but it was also something that made him feel more secure. It was something he could work on to help him protect himself from his home life, even if it wasn’t enough most times. He specifically excels in weapons forms (I’m thinking twin sais) and you DO NOT want to spar with him. Because he may be skinny and shorter, but he’s quick and can hit hard at just the right spots. 

When he was younger he was obsessed mainly because he felt that belt rankings and trophies from competitions were a way to prove himself to his dad, but when he moved in with Iroh (who encouraged him to keep it up and was so proud of how talented and passionate he was about it), he basically used it in place of talking about his feelings. He didn’t talk about his home life or the shit Ozai did, instead, he put all his energy into his black belt levels, learning new weapons forms, and eventually into teaching new students as a junior instructor. 

At school, he’s awkward and asocial and just doesn’t have the energy for people. Zuko has little patience for asshole classmates who ask intrusive questions about his scar or spread rumors about where he got it. He eats lunch in his English classroom and would be a complete shut-in if Iroh didn’t get him to work part-time at the Jasmine Dragon. But in the dojo, he’s focused and is able to direct his energy into improving his forms and teaching younger teens. 

One of his newer students transferred from a different dojo after moving from a different state. He’s actually a freshman at Zuko’s high school but it’s not as if Zuko really interacted that much with him. This kid, Aang, is as talented and dedicated as he is, but has a long way to go to learn all the new katas. Zuko’s been dubbed the ‘scary’ trainer at the dojo. He’s the serious one who will yell if someone is goofing off and everyone’s seen that he has no problem using full force in a demonstration (little kids love him and he’s super nice to them, but he teaches the 12-15 age range). Plus there’s that scar, which doesn’t make him the most initially welcoming person. But this new kid Aang just latches onto Zuko immediately. He says hi to Zuko in the halls at school and works on his katas outside of regular practice times. At first Zuko thinks this sickeningly positive kid is annoying as crap, but warms up to him. He likes that Aang cares about martial arts and isn’t nice as a show, he’s just genuinely nice. 

And maybe he sees Aang hanging around school with a sophomore girl and her brother who just might be in Zuko’s calc class and English class. 

And maybe Zuko thinks this guy is insanely attractive and somehow incredibly funny even though most of his humor consists of the worst puns imaginable. 

But obviously, Zuko hasn’t attempted to ever actually talk to this guy. The most that he could classify as ‘talking’ to the cute, funny guy on the robotics club is the one day in English class when he had to respond to someone’s dumbass comment about Macbeth with what ended up being a ten minute spoken essay about obvious motifs and symbolism. To which Mr. Puns and Ponytail was very obviously paying great attention to and even gave Zuko a smile and thumbs up for. 

Zuko knows it’s pointless to engage. After all, he’s a senior and he doesn’t have any friends anyway. There’s no point in making any this year. Crushing on this guy from the comfortable position of the other side of the room is totally good enough for him. Totally. This is fine. He’s fine.  

Besides, he’s got competitions and if he doesn’t secure the regional championships this year he’s never going to get the chance after he goes to college. And he’s got his kids to train. Aang in particular is gearing up for his first debut into this area’s tournament. 

The tournament’s in October and usually, Zuko focuses on his own matches and performances, but Aang really wanted him to watch his set. So on this day, he stands on the sides of Aang’s zone instead of obsessively going through his katas in a corner.He’s not going to be able to watch the whole set because it overlaps with his own weapons portion, but he stands on the side and gives Aang a reassuring look that, ‘don’t worry, you’ll do great, you’re a talented kid,’ when his student looks over to him nervously. 

And wouldn’t you know it? Aang brought some friends to come watch. And one of them is Mr. Zuko’s Big Gay Crush. 

“Oh, hey Zuko,” are the words that come out of this guy's mouth that give Zuko a near-stroke. And damn if this guy’s eyes aren’t blue and pretty and he usually wears his hair in a ponytail at school, but now he’s wearing it down and Zuko wishes he could take screenshots with his brain because holy moly. 

“Hey.” Is the best that Zuko can get out of his dumb mouth. “You’re Sokka.” 

“Aang invited us to come watch,” Sokka nudges his head to indicate the ‘us’ includes his younger sister, who Zuko doesn’t know the name of. “How do you guys not get heatstroke during these things? It’s like a million degrees in here.” 

“Oh the gi’s pretty cold, I mean, it’s got air and stuff.” 

Zuko decided right there that he would be completely fine with being struck by lightning. Of course, that’s what his stupid brain would come up with. Of course, that’d be the thing he’d say in front of one of the smartest guys in his class. 

They watch Aang perform his set for the judges. Zuko recognizes that Aang took his advice when he said that he wasn’t putting enough force into his hits. He’s never seen Aang be as, well, aggressive isn’t the right word, but he’s definitely putting more power into his form. Zuko wouldn’t admit it, though, but only part of his attention was for Aang at the moment. The other part was for Sokka, who was smiling bright and pumping his fists when Aang completed a row of kicks. 

The small part of Zuko’s brain that wasn’t being taken up by watching Aang or trying to act normal around his crush noticed the clock on the wall indicating that the weapons portion would be starting in five minutes.  

“I’ve got to go do a thing so I’ll just, um, go do that now.” 

“Are you competing too?” Sokka asked. 

To this question Zuko just holds up his sais and raises his eyebrow as if to say ‘it’s a tournament, what do you think?’ Because yeah, he knows Sokka’s super smart, he’s seen him churn out calc answers at the speed of light and noticed his name on the robotics club awards update on the school’s website, but he’d also seen Sokka eat 5 packs of fundip at once on a dare and unironically wear a ‘women want me, fish fear me’ t-shirt for most of junior year. Somehow he had managed to fall for the smartest dumbass on earth. 

“Oh yeah, right.” Sokka eyes the sais and then looks right at Zuko’s face, “Aang says you’re really good.” 

Zuko decides that thinking about Aang talking to Sokka about him was something he didn’t need distracting him during his set. That was something he could anxious about later. 

“Hopefully good enough for those five assholes,” Zuko replies, gesturing to the panel of judges in the weapons section of the gymnasium. To his shock, Sokka laughs. It’s a nice laugh, too. And Zuko really hoped he could blame the blush that was one-hundred-percent creeping up his face on the lack of AC. 

“You know, you’re pretty funny man,” Sokka tells him. Zuko has no clue how to take that compliment, but he really does need to go. 

“Right,” he grins nervously and shifts his left foot around to bounce away, “well I have to go do my thing.” 

“Good luck!” 

That’s where Zuko thinks the beginning and end of his interaction with Sokka would be. 

The weapons portion thankfully goes by age. And since Zuko’s one of the youngest competitions, he gets to go first for his sai katas. This is what literal years of training have prepared him for. At regionals last year, the second advanced kata got him placed high enough to qualify for states. This is what he’s good at. He tells himself that a thousand times before starting his set. 

There’s not a thought in his head as Zuko goes through the form. The sais glide through his fingertips with every jab, block, and hook. The imaginary opponent doesn’t stand a chance. He’s cool and competent and graceful. It’s therapeutic in a sense. There’s enough adrenaline to make Zuko feel like he’s worth something, but more importantly, he knows he’s nailing this. Whatever the judges say about it, he knows that he’s perfected this form after practicing it at least a thousand times over three years. 

The judges agree with him. He’s the first competitor of the weapons portion but there isn’t really a doubt in their minds about who’s going to place. 

Zuko zones back in to the gym after bowing to the panel. He walks off, feeling lighter and letting a satisfactory smile take over his face. 

He expects the hug from Uncle and the proud smile from Sensei Piandao, but what he doesn’t expect is to see Sokka, eyes wide as globes, staring at him from the other side of the mat. 

Because what Zuko doesn’t know is that the second he turned his wrists in his first form during his hooks, Sokka’s brain went into Full Bi Panic Mode. 

And Zuko thinks the one conversation where he couldn’t talk like a human and wanted to die for most of it would be the only time Sokka would decide to willingly talk to him. Zuko is dead wrong. Sokka, in fact, has decided that this, this is the guy his Disaster Bi Brain has decided to latch onto. Sokka’s brain and all his squishy feelings have apparently decided to attach to this aloof kid with the scar who reserved his voice for eloquent, impassioned speeches about dramas and was apparently an actual god with weapons. Sokka decides that Zuko could roundhouse kick him in the side and he’d thank him. And right now Zuko’s looking at him with a dumbfounded expression, prompting Sokka to remember how to function so he can go over to congratulate Zuko and maybe ask if his dojo provides a free trial. 

So yeah, that one conversation ends up decisively not being the end of anything. 

[myentertainmentthoughts]

My Little Pony - I watched all 9 seasons (and you should too)

Back in college I went from watching a YouTube video joking about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to actually watching the show for myself and realizing that it’s unironically fantastic. I can’t pinpoint an exact year for this, but I imagine it be roughly around 2012? Well, now that it’s 2021, I can finally write down my final thoughts on the show having finished it last year. I picked up where I had left off many years ago, and it’s definitely a come-full-circle feeling.

When people think of the MLP brand, especially as it regards MLP: Friendship is Magic, there’s usually only 2 associations that will pop into someone’s mind. Either its target audience of little girls, or worse - the internet phenomenon that was brony culture. Adult men in their 20s and 30s who tuned into the show and used the jokes within the writing & animation on 4chan and other internet boards. Of course there’s definitely more to the brony aspect of the fandom than meets the eye, and any negative stereotypes arising from this association are just that. Stereotypes.

But I think as cringey as the most extreme aspects of what I will refer to as “bronydom” are, I think that these 2 vastly different demographics really does touch on what makes MLP: Friendship is Magic so special. This show that was clearly geared for kids touches on so many universal themes (and does so shockingly well), that anyone can find appreciation for it. And the show deserves nothing less than that - the art style is appealing as all heck, the characters are extraordinarily charming, and the storylines are compelling. 

Of course, I will take the time to lay out that the show is at its strongest when looking at the personalities of the core cast of characters - or as they’re best known - The Mane Six. (Yes - that’s mane - not main, haha)

The main protagonist of the show is the unicorn Twilight Sparkle, who excels in academics and is exceptionally talented in magic. But she lacks socialization with her peers, and is sent by her mentor Princess Celestia to the town of Ponyville to make some friends. While there, she meets the rest of the gang -

Rainbow Dash, a brash and athletic pegasus who dreams to join Equestria’s most elite flyers - the Wonderbolts.

Applejack - a hardworking and steadfast earth pony who helps run her family’s farm - Sweet Apple Acres.

Rarity - a beautiful and fashion forward unicorn who runs her business, Carousel Boutique in Ponyville.

Fluttershy - the sweet and bashful pegasus who has a special talent for caring and connecting to all creatures big and small.

And Pinkie Pie - a spirited and party loving earth pony, whose biggest passion is to make those around her smile and laugh.

These are classic character archetypes, and while MLP: Friendship is Magic boasts solid writing, it cannot boast innovation on that front. But each of the characters do have enough individuality and depth that there are plenty of instances where they veer from their archetype qualities.

Most notably, these characters’ personalities are all flawed - something that is hugely relatable to everyone - children and adults alike.  Our flaws define us as much as our strengths. And accordingly, our flaws lead us into conflict. The show is surprisingly realistic about how much that plays into friendships and laying out the lessons to learn from that. While these lessons may be newer to the youngsters that the show is meant to target, they are lessons that should speak strongly to adults as well. After all, we never stop running into conflicts in our relationships, even as we grow older. It’s an achingly human quality that follows us throughout our life. So is it really that surprising when you see the adult demographic that enjoys this “little girls show”?

Furthermore, throughout the 9 year run time of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, these conflicts are explored from the show’s beginning to its end thoroughly, and while the cast still consistently must resolve conflicts in each episode, the core cast of characters do not remain the same. They each grow significantly and evolve into mentor and leadership roles. They all take steps to achieving their goals and dreams - together.

It’s the perfect formula to a long lasting IP. And while certain jokes and gags did get old in the later seasons of the show, and sometimes the writers were a little overzealous in creating character decisions made for arbitrary conflict - fundamentally the writing holds up to the very end. I believe that is specifically due to the poignant quality of the show’s theme: Friendship is not always the easiest to uphold, but the best friendships do make life so much richer and wonderful. Good friendships are worth the work of keeping strong and alive. We are better together than alone.

So as an adult, is it worth checking out this show, beyond the internet culture aspect to it? I would say that anyone who gives the show a legitimate chance will be shocked at how much there is to latch onto and get value out of. There are 9 seasons worth of pop culture references and homages, a gaggle of great side characters (in addition to the core cast), and surprisingly epic moments that had me comparing fight sequences in My Little Pony to fight sequences in shonen anime arcs, and the MCU. (I’m not kidding about that either - this show has insane lore and I recommend this YouTube video series on it: The Complete My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Timeline (2020) if you want to see the history of Equestria in chronological order. In addition to any epic story arcs, the world building in this show is actually quite massive.)

Now admittedly, the show did go through a couple of unnecessary overhaul arcs to keep it alive for longer (as all long running TV shows can be guilty of). But MLP is less egregious in its quality dip than a LOT of other TV content that I’ve consumed. The ending does wrap everything into a neat little bow that as a fan, I was pretty happy with, and I think newcomers into the franchise will be pleased as well.

Ultimately, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic IS something very special. But only can be benefited from, by those who are open minded to seriously consume it. Cheers to my wrapping the show up and giving the later seasons a fair chance. Though it’s outclassed by some other animated content, I would say few to none outclass it within its own genre. And few outclass it even within the confines of animated television as a whole.  Friendship forever. :)

[doomonfilm]

Thoughts : Mirror (1975)

In my circle of cinematic fiends searching for what’s on the verge of becoming Kino on a widespread level, I’ve started to see a recent resurgence and groundswell of interest of Russian film icon Andrei Tarkovsky.  There has always been a deep underground love and respect for Stalker, Andrei Rublev and Solaris (not to mention his other handful of outstanding works), but recently, Mirror has started to take hold of the public consciousness.  With it’s hauntingly beautiful observations and reflections on childhood, it’s easy to see why the film would be respected purely on its artistic merit, but with Criterion Collection recently joining the parade of praise, I decided it was time to give Mirror a proper viewing.

The powerfully unironic weight of Mirror as the title for this deeply personal and reflective film is not lost on me.  Tarkovsky’s approach to reimagining the inherently understood unconditional love presented by his mother from her perspective is told in a breathtakingly and achingly beautiful fashion, like the best elements of a diary and a journal mixed together in a visual fashion.  The mixture of Russian history, familial reflection and poetic nostalgia intertwined into the presentation of Mirror is a powerful set of united threads that helps fortify the visual switches present, giving us a keen awareness of the distinct times we are visiting within the run of the film.  Time is not only messed with on a large, cyclical scale, but it is also examined in terms of in the moment experiences, like the disjointed nature of the grenade scare or the way that Liza chasing Maria down the hall transitions between standard time and extremely expressive slow motion.  Having a narrator is normally a somewhat distracting and seeming condescending element, but having a poetic and spiritual narrator that doesn’t explain to you exactly what you’re seeing works as a parallel to the visual stimulus provided in the case of Mirror.

Like many directors of the time, Tarkovsky stood as a sign of the land he emerged from, with his art being staunchly Russian in terms of the economic disparity, the looming shadow of war and the neo-realist futuristic elements present within the militaristic and Communist sentiment.  Unlike his other films, however, Mirror brings a sense of multiculturalism to the table, even if only remotely, and certainly not at the expense of placing his Russian heritage in a nearly jingoistic light.  The way that childhood innocence, matriarchal responsibility in light of militaristic obligation’s impact on the family and nationalist duty are all conveyed in a haunting fashion without the need to implement direct statements or rants infused with personal judgement and/or fervor.  Instead, we are presented with elements that, from an outsider's perspective, allow us to understand what life behind the emergence and formation of the Iron Curtain would look and feel like.

The use of three distinct visual styles to distinguish the present, the past and the surreal without a need for title cards or basic indicators is a Tarkovsky staple, but the nuance in which it is implemented here is as bold as it is impressive, especially with such drastically different shifts in tone and acting approach occurring amidst these unmarked switches.  The modern feel of Tarkovsy’s cinematography is not only a testament to the lasting impression his work has left, but taken in direct context, an equally strong testament to how forward-thinking his storytelling and visual capabilities were, putting him in league with the likes of Ingmar Bergman or Federico Fellini.  I’m hard pressed to think of another director who was not only keenly aware of how environments were used, but a director who captured nature as if he cast it to do his bidding, as if he had the ability to personify the old adage “cinema is the wind in the trees” at his beck and call.  The way that Mirror uses sound design in the same manner that other directors use score is a subtle flex in Tarkovsky’s ability to create immersive experiences outside of conventional methods.  The few instances of score that are present are seemingly always interrupted by some brief and shocking jolt back into reality, be it violence of the reinforcement of violence as a threat.  The intermixture of what seems like stock footage that separates the film into thirds gives us a sort of cinematic intermission that allows us to breathe without disconnecting from the film experience.

Margarita Terekhova is the lynchpin that holds Mirror together, and she is clearly up to the challenge, turning in a vastly dynamic performance that swings between calm controlled moments and open displays of raw emotion.  Terekhova has a wonderfully magnetic ability when it becomes to displaying a character on the verge of a breakdown, putting up just enough of a tough and protective veneer to remain grounded while reinforcing the veneer with raw, uncontrolled and intuitive reactionary emotion threatening to break through and bring everything crumbling to the ground, with her ability and awareness to pull it all together coming off as admirable in terms of its sharpness.  She is supported by a number of different narrative approaches, such as the direct flirtation and acute unawareness of Anatoly Solonitsyn, or the collective pressing she stands up to from Alla Demidova, Nikolai Grinko and company at the printing house.  Ignat Daniltsev plays a surprisingly strong audience surrogate for such a young actor, serving not only as a human reason for the subjective gaze on Terekhova within her home, but a foil to allow her to vent deeply personal feelings, with his mostly silent reactions standing as a captivating performance in their own right.  Olga Kizilova, Tamara Ogorodnikova, Yuriy Nazarov, Filipp Yankovsky, Oleg Yankovsky and Maria Vishnyakova turn in strong supporting performances while Arseny Tarkovsky and Innokenty Smoktunovsky both turn in strong vocal performances.

Mirror has a fascinating ability to be both direct and obtuse in seemingly equal measure, portraying both a deep and healthy understanding of what a mother and estranged wife would experience without assumption or presumptuousness, only a desire and need to understand in the hopes of reinforcing an already deep and inherent sense of love and admiration that comes with being a child with a creative spirit.  Without even trying to or feeling like a prisoner to a limited scope, Mirror captures all of the dramatic force of a stage play and supports it with the visual power of cinematic mastery and intention.  The film is not the most technically proficient in Tarkovsky’s career, but if you’re watching it and finding yourself hung up on boom mic shadows and crew reflections, then you’ve already missed the entire point.  If looked at like a moving Mother’s Day gift in the form of a living and breathing painting, it is impossible not to appreciate Mirror in all of its glory. 

[psychcomposer]

Alright, I have too many feelings about a video game that’s going to come out in a month that I really just need to get out. It’s been over a decade and one of my favorite games, The World Ends With You, is finally getting a sequel. I’ve been brooding on the trailers for months, and I just finished the demo, so it is time to put down my capital T Thoughts on Neo: The World Ends With You.

As a warning, this will be entirely too long. But I’m not about to keep this bound up any longer.

TWEWY is my favorite title for the Nintendo DS. It is a JRPG starring Neku Sakuraba, an aggressively antisocial teen living in the Tokyo district of Shibuya. He is suddenly pulled into a test of survival called The Reaper’s Game, where he is forced to join forces with a partner in order to survive a week of lethal objectives in a sub-planar version of Shibuya. I love the story, its such an honest and interesting take on learning to get outside of your comfort zone. But more than that, it is a game that does so much to put a modern twist on every piece of your typical JRPG. You control two characters at once, Neku with the touch screen and his partner with the control pad, forcing you to split your attention and giving mechanic weight to the idea that Neku can’t survive alone. Armor and weapons are replaced with clothes and outfits, with a character’s ability to wear them restricted not by class but by a character’s bravery. The music list is filled with punk, alt-rock and hip-hop that are a stark contrast to the symphonic tracks of other titles. Battles aren’t random impediments, but fun diversions that sport a robust reward system that encourages players to push their limits.

But even more than that, the most modern thing I appreciate about TWEWY has to be the characters. Neku, Shiki, Beat, and Rhyme all feel like believable teens that grew up in the 2000′s. They bicker, clash, and banter like teens struggling to survive and make sense of their situation. One of my favorite little gimicks of the story is just how many nicknames there are for every character. Almost everyone has earned a few nicknames. One of my favorite examples is Sho Minamimoto. He’s a reaper with an obsession with math, often infusing his speech with mathematical jargon or expressions, and seems to enjoy erecting “art installations”, which most people can only decipher as towers of trash. Over the course of the story, he gets called Pi-face, the Grim Heaper, and another nickname I can’t even mention because of spoilers. It’s just... such a nice little human touch, these kids throwing crafted insults at a human enforcer of their doom that could almost certainly tear them apart.

I’m getting into this to try to give a sense of why I enjoy TWEWY so much, why it has such a unique place in my heart. Its a game I’ve 100% completed several times over, a task that’s no easy feat with the sheer amount of collectibles and post-game objectives. Unfortunately, for the last year or two, I’ve been kind of dreading this sequel.

Neo:TWEWY has been... a long time coming. Way back in 2007 they had a whole website counting down to some sort of announcement, with the music slowly building in intensity. I remember following it with bated breath, until it finally hit zero! And we got... An ios port of the game. Talk about a let-down. To be fair, apparently it is a solid port, even managing to re-work the old battle system, one that required a second screen to work properly, into one that only needed one. But what that really offered to someone like me was the hint of a sequel, a single image of a new character being shown. They kept flirting with the idea of bringing the series back. The main cast even featured in a Kingdom Hearts game, of all things, even if they didn’t really do a whole lot. But these acknowledgments grew sparser and sparser.

A few years ago, they released a switch port of the game. Not only that, it included an epilogue! They were finally getting a sequel rolling! Of course I bought that game, beat it yet again, and fought my way to the new content and the hint of the new story ahead.

It was... Well. I found it disappointing.

The gameplay was competent, even if it was clear that the epilogue itself really hadn’t had too much put into it. One new character,  new enemies just being reskins of old ones. It wasn’t meant to be dlc itself or anything, it was just there to herald a return to the series. That wasn’t what bugged me. What bugged me was the writing. It was heart-wrenching. It just didn’t feel right. It just felt flat compared to the story I’d enjoyed so many times. But what really killed my excitement was the new character, Coco.

Now, odd personality quirks are not too unusual among the ensemble of TWEWY. Pi-face is just one of the characters that is so infused with a particular theme that it shows in how they express themselves. It’s part of the charm of them, discovering the personalities that live in this dark underworld of Shibuya. But Coco... she talks like the most stereotypical young teenager possible. unironic lols, totez (yes, spelt exactly like that, in a speech format), OMG’s, and just, like, likes everywhere! It felt like someone who knew they needed to make a quirky character but had no idea how to write one well, and just made the most stereotypical caricature possible. I hated seeing that. It embodied every fear I had about the sequel being just a cynical project, pushed forward after so many years  by people who just didn’t understand what made the original great. That mild dread was so persistent that even the release of the first few trailers couldn’t really get me excited for the game. Neo:TWEWY was shifting into 3d from the original 2.5d, with all the problems that could cause. What I could see of the story felt so much more like a generic fantasy tale with some modern buildings than the story I had grown through my teenage years with. And, well... Just look the original Neku and the new one they showed off.

Look at this. Look at one of the most vibrant, eye-catching character designs on the market for any JRPG in history, one that manages to mix purple and orange with striking lights and darks. And then look at the teenager edgelord bullshit they did with him. It’s atrocious. I hate it. He’s just another guy in a black outfit and just too much fucking cool guy protagonist power to not have the story be about him at this point. And look, I know that there’s Story LoreTM, I know that there could be some twist that explains this, I know that him being such a denial of his old self could be the entire fucking point. But let me tell you, when I saw this, I felt years of shifting, misplaced unease coalesce into a hard lump of dread.

And... Even... So... I did the stupidest thing I could have possibly done and preordered the game anyway. Don’t look at me like that, nostalgia is a hell of a drug.

But you know what? The damnedest thing happened. They released a demo for the new game a month before its release. And I played it, and... I enjoyed it.

Did you see that coming? I certainly didn’t. Welcome to the roller coaster.

Right off the bat, the writing soothed a lot of the fears I had. It felt right at home, like being plopped between to teens exchanging banter. One of the first exchanges is Rindo and Fret, his best friend, trying to meet up. Fret wants Rindo to meet him at  someplace called Wunafo, an area Rindo is clueless about. After some annoyed texting, it turns out Fret is actually referring to 104, a local landmark of a building. Fret insists that its a stylish improvement on the name. Rindo only gives him some grief about it..

I’m not doing the scene justice, or I could just be really desperate for half-decent writing, but I can’t deny that it quickly put a smile on my face. I am almost sure I’ve had this conversation before in years past myself. And beyond that, this game boasts voice acting that brings out a ton of personality in the large cast they are introducing (besides Rindo, which is a shame because he’s the protagonist... hopefully he gets over his apathetic teenager shtick eventually). Not everything is voiced, but it conveys so much appeal and personality, and even when the character’s aren’t voiced there is a conversation screen that occasionally breaks out some stylish layouts to convey mood and temperment and clearly draw from the style that made the original game pop so much.

The battles, of course, have been completely revamped. TWEWY had you control two characters, one of which you could customize by equipping up to 6 different pins that all used different motions and unleashed different attacks. Now you control up to four characters, but each one can only use one pin. But even so, it feels very genuine to its roots. An effective build in TWEWY was usually one that let you stagger an opponent so you can unload a bunch of attacks on them, and in Neo:TWEWY the game actively pushes you to folllow up attacks with characters in succession. It would be easy for this to devolve into a mash-fest, but even with the little time I had with the game it introduced a wrinkle in that- an attack that unleashed a single powerful blow, but couldn’t just be unleashed at the end of the previous combo. It needed to be charged for a while, long enough for the combo timer to deplete. So now an effective combo requires thinking ahead, and even after that you’re paying attention to enemies to dodge out of the way when they strike back. It’s entirely possible this system will flop in the late game, but so far it is robust enough for me to think that it will be one that could make me look forward to battles.

The music hasn’t impressed me so far, besides the tracks that have made the transition from the original. But I remember those strange tracks needing some time before I appreciated them too.

Finally, the story has hooked me. I don’t think that needs much more explanation. I want to see more of these characters and see the changes that have been made to the world in what I assume is years after Neku’s game. And to address the elephant in the room, Neku has not made his appearance in what is available in the demo. Odds are I will probably hate whatever they do with him. But there is enough happening in the space around it that I’m interested in exploring, and a bruised apple can still taste sweet.

Almost all of this, of course, is mostly just saying that Neo:TWEWY is not doomed to fail. There is still plenty of room for things to go wrong later on. There are entire systems I haven’t really seen in game, like shops, pin evolution, clothing and food (Though it looks like they have changed the food system significantly, which I approve of). The things that unnerved me so much in the trickle of information after this game’s announcement could still be enough to turn this sour. But I’m smiling as I’m strapping myself in for this ride now, one I’ve waited quite a long time for. Whatever’s coming, I’m excited.

[fipindustries]

list of comics i made so far

i already shared the list of all the novels i tried to write throughout my llife so i see no reason why not to do the same with the comics i tried to work on. no i should clarify, with my lists of novels there was a clear cut distinction between what was a novel and a short story so to parse one from the other was an easy task. it should be known that i wrote hundreds of shorts stories that i havent shared with anyone. now a similar situation occurs with my comics, i have done hundreds upon hundreds of little comics, short jokes, little skits and short lived strips through my life, so in order to give this list some weight and not make it longer than the bible the criteria i used was that it had to be something i did on a regular basis or that tells a self contained story with a beggining middle and end.

now without further ado, lets begin!

spike Vanderville (age 7)

you can tell i was way more into comics than i was into novels from a young age. done with pen and folded paper, it was the story about a young kid called spike, whose design was heavily inspired by bradley from sticking around, who had magical powers which allowed him to manipulate reality. it was a mix of harry potter and a series of illustrates short stories that came in a magazine in argentina. his best friend was a scarecrow with a pumpkin head that he had brought to life, his archnemesis was a fat bully.

curiously enough i was so passionate about this project even though i had no idea what i was doing and no talent that i actually did like three full colored issues of it. my family was really proud of me. sadly those comics are completly lost to time

andrew and the monkey (age 10)

this was the classical story about a boy and his best friend the talking animal. one page comedy strips done in pen and paper. nothing too clever, just a way for me to try lame jokes mostly stolen from spongebob squarepants. not much else to it. i tried to do like a revamp in 2014 but it was short lived, as you can see the jokes didnt get any less lame

FIP industries (age 17)

mostly done in digital. yes as you can see fip is something that has followed me my whole life in quite the variety of mediums. there were as a matter of fact multiple attempts to make this comic a real thing but time and again they would peter off as i saw that my skill was just not up to the task. i think i have talked more than enough about fip industries on this blog, one interesting thing is that if you follow the link you will come across a lot of proto ideas that i had before they cemented and took their definite shape in the novel (and even after the novel i kept retconning and retooling things over and over again, fip industries is an ongoing thing that will probably last my entire lifetime)

Disregarding Reality I (age 20)

the first iteration of disregarding reality, a humorous strip done in pencil and paper, a fairly short lived affair, lasting no more than 3 months. the entire premise of the comic was an MRA activist and a feminist live together, they are friends, they argue a lot. remember 2013 guys? back when this whole politics bullshit truly kicked off online? this was before gamer gate, mind you. but by that point i had seen more than enough of it on tumblr and i was like “someone should do some scathing commentary with wit and penache” and that someone had to be me. mainly inspired by commics like f@nboys and el goonish hive and a thousand billion others that were so popular back in those halcyon days.

i got bored of it pretty quickly and it wouldnt be until three years later than i would finally decide to re-start the project but until then...

Strangers in the forest (age 21)

here comes a rather productive era in my ouvre, ink and paper, based on a short story i wrote, its about an eldritch monster pretending to be human and a ghost girl, killed by her father. they have a dispute because the monster wants to eat the corpse of the girl but the ghost doesnt want to give up her bones because its the one thing that tethers her to the mortal plane. they eventually resolve their dispute. by this point i was actually, unironically trying my best to do comics which i felt looked professional.

Song of a nightmare (age 21)

another one based on a short story i wrote. ink and paper, a private detective wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a mermaid lying in bed next to him. he spends most of the comic trying to figure out how the hell is this possible. still one of my favourite ones and certainly one of my family’s and friends favourites as well. a rather poetic tale, strongly inspired by argentinian fiction and their propensity towards magical realism, i was reading a lot of cortazar back then.

Aika (age 21)

as you can tell i was on a fucking roll that year. ink and paper, this was a story based upon a simple and basic idea that i had in my mind for years and years. i always liked the concept behind the movie “the kid” where bruce willis mysteriously comes across himself as a kid. so of course one day i came up with the idea, what if you recieved a visit from your future self... but she was a woman?

this is probably the most aggresively trans story i ever wrote in my life, it is literally about a guy realizing they are trans and breaking down over it. here is the giant kicker, i did not realize at all what i was doing. i was completly unaware of what was going on here, i was still deep deep in the closet and not even realizing i was there. it really is astounding the honesty and the rawness with which i wrote this comic and it went all over my head. a perfect example of “im such a great ally lol”

oh also there is time travel i guess. my main impetus (beyond whatever my subconcious was forcing me to do) was my desire to make a complete clusterfuck of a story, i was a huge fan of homestuck, i had read fleek and demon, i wanted to do my own take on a hypercomplicated time travel puzzle plot. other things came out on top of it but i didnt noticed them. fucking hilarious

Hello Agatha (age 21)

a comedic strip about a wacky pixie dream girl having wacky adventures with her wacky friends, one of which is a man with a toilet for a head. what a gut buster, what a knee slapper!

there is not much to say about this one, wacky surreal comedy was always my favourite and so time and again i would try my hand at it but it is surprisingly hard to do!

The /co/ ventures! (age 20 - age25)

an ongoing project done in multiple mediums. i think i said more than enough about this in here and here. it was me practiscing comics, practiscing my humor and adding my tiny grain of sand to the 4chan culture. i am proud to say these comics were actually very well liked there and that i would be recognized without a name or signature of any kind, just on the strength of my style.

the vest kind of madness (age 22)

probably one of the projects in which i put the biggest amount of effort to make it look professional. traditional inks and digital colors. a crossover that i cant believe never happened in comics considering how obvious it is. Rac Shade, the changing man and delirium of the endless, the two flagship vertigo characters associated with madness. clearly a match made in heaven.

to this day im flabbergasted i seem to be the only one to think of this.

Disregarding Reality II (age 23)

another work where i have already spilled rivers of bytes explaining my thought process behind it. after having a no good, terrible, very bad day, finding my self aimless and without purpose, deep in denial and depression, i decided to give my self a big project to have something to get me out of bed every day. these three guys came from the depths of my mind to save me.

this time leaning a lot more on silly humor and surrealism than political commentary, still insanely proud of how much i managed to make this last, almost three years, well over 200 pages! and in here i found the inspiration and the creative energy to tackle all sorts of diverse projects of which we are about to see all about.

Mama Bird (age 24)

my masterpiece.

by far the best comic i ever did. a kid with a bird for a mom. hilarious, touching, heartbreaking. it was a concept that i had come up with when i was 21. back then it was supposed to be exclusively a humorous comic strip but then i found a dramatic angle for the story and that was when everything clicked into place. that was when i realized this was a comic i had to do. and i did it. it took me five months but it was well worth it. still insanely proud of this one

Soft boys (age 25)

a weird experimental little story where i decided to sit down and deconstruct one of the most popular superpowers. super elasticity. more akin to me just mashing my toys against each other than me trying to tell a serious story. i am actually really happy with some of the art here and some of the sequences presented. particularly the final one where a brick joke twenty pages in the making finally pays off.

Hexen Snatch (age 25)

a semi spinoff to my novel FIP industries, we focus on a side character that managed to survive after the events of the novel and how they’ll manage to survive further beyond that. insanely soaked by the magical world of pact by widbow i wanted desperatly to share my own take on magic, every page is accompanied by a little text where i expand upon the lore and the way magic is supposed to work on this world. i really like the prose on those snippets and the ideas they work almost more that the comic itself with which i was not happy at all when i was working on it. i didnt like the character design, i didnt like how the art in general was coming out, i didnt like the pacing of the story or how superficially we were getting to expore this world in the comic proper. i had to take a very long hiatus just to accumulate the will to finish the comic and once i did i feel it really petered off without much of a satisfying payoff.

on some level i blame the exhaustion and frustration that i came out of this comic with for the fact that i ended up quitting disregarding reality soon afterwards.

Maxplosive (age 26)

another project that has followed me across multiple mediums. came up with an idea for a videogame back in 2015. saved it on the back pocket for a while, used it as a story within a story on my novel fan.tastic, practisced a couple of animations with the characters and eventually decided that, if my skills at videogame making were not enough, i had at least more than poven myself as a comic artist so maybe that was the definitive medium in which this idea would have to exist.

the original idea was to tell the story in two parts, the first half would introduce the character and the videogame as if the comic was a playthrough of the game. all fun and childlike and innocent. then the second half was meant to explore the life of the main character as an adult, how being “a videogame protagonist” had ruined her body, her mental health and her life. i tried all sorts of weird stuff with the format here, using reciclable assets, static camera angles and generally presenting the whole thing as if it was a videogame.

sadly the project got too big for my breaches, i was fucking exhausted back then, swamped with a bunch of other projects, my job, other responsabilities, unsatisfied with the story and with no idea where to take it. eventually i got tired, decided to skip a day, then the day became a week and then the week became a month and by then i had to face the facts, i was just no longer able to continue the comic. and so i quit not only maxplosive but disregarding reality all together.

i still did the occasional comic here and then but it wouldnt be until the very end of 20-fucking-20 that i was finally inspired to tackle a new project, my newest one, my last one....

Lapsarian (age 27)

an interesting experiment, i decided to do the whole comic in one sit and then post it chapter by chapter on a weekly basis. a surprising result of this was that i managed to do in one month the same amoung of pages that would have taken me 5 months back when i started disregarding reality, is good to see that after al this time i still got it.

took me a while to get the hang of it again and find my own style once more but once i armed up it was smooth sailing for 40 pages all the way to the end. but what is this comic even about?

its... weird, with full disclosure and no shame, it is mostly a fetish story about big lizard creatures commiting vore. the milkman had already shown me that i could do those types of stories and no lighting would come from the heavens to strike me down so i said, why not as a comic? i like to think that beyond the fetish content it is still a decent story in its own right, an interesting feedback that i got from this is that people are suprised how earnest it is, one saying something like “this is the best pitch for a fetish that i was never interested in”

Conclussion:

looking back on this im surprised, turns out i was a lot more prolific and working a lot more regularly than i expected, in here are documented ten years of creative output that never seems to wane. it was fun to do the roundabout trip and see how my style, my technice and generally my work ethic evolved through the years. another nice thing to see is the multiple formats, the multiple tools and mediums i experimented with, i find myself constantly trying new things, new methods, new angles, new interesting ideas for how to make a comic (without even getting into what to make a comic about).

something i always knew about myself was that drawing is a fundamental part of who i am, it is something that just cant be taken away from me and that will always be a part of my life one way or the other, is good to see it so plainly, in black and white, on this list. here goes for what i might be able to do in the future

[moomingitz]

what do you think were the worst animation styles used in Sonic X?

That question kind of isn’t hard for me to answer. And I’m going to leave this disclaimer before I continue any further:

I know that this is something that could be considered objective. Heck, something can even be off-model from the official given animation model sheets, but still look good.

But there’s being off-model, and then there’s being off-model and being drawn really badly- like the staff didn’t know the basics of how you should and should not draw even the most cartoony character designs. People who think Steven Universe is bad with it’s inconsistent animation styles have it pretty good. At least that show has a cartoony and very simple style to give it more leeway with off-model animation, and the staff admitted they aren’t really focused on keeping character heights and scaling consistent anyway.

I’m going to go by which animation director was behind the episode that had ‘said animation styles in them. Because even if they weren’t %100 responsible for how ‘said styles ended up looking in ‘said episodes, there’s still a connection, and I need something to use for reference/convenience for this. Also, I’m only listing animation directors who worked on more than one episode, due to the many animators who worked on Sonic X’s first season alone.

Last but not least- I do genuinely like Sonic X.(I even unironically like Chris as a character.) So no one please take this as some kind of hate post directed towards it in general. But despite me unironically liking the show, I won’t deny that it looked butt ugly at times(almost as bad as Sonic Underground’s awful animation quality). And I’ll show you why, now:

Ki Duk Park

I think the best way for me to describe this style, is that it looks like the type of cheap bootleg art you would see on knock-off products from China, South Korea, Mexico, etc; Bad, but normally funny in how bad it is.

The anthro Sonic characters’ proportions are… something, that’s for sure. And as someone else put it to me, their heads look like inflated balloons to where you swore they would pop once you poke them with a pin.

Then there’s lovely animation errors like this.

A rule of thumb I have when it comes to determining which animation director worked on which episode is looking at how the human characters who aren’t Eggman are drawn, due to their more realistic character designs(which is harder to keep consistent in style). This is where I think it’s the most prevalent.

The proportions and anatomy on the human characters are pretty bad, as you can see. Their faces are drawn so weird, I just don’t exactly know how to describe it. But I can definitively say their eyes look dead or soulless allot of times.

Keiichiro Kawaguchi, Kim Sang Yeob

Everyone either looks clunky or jagged as hell, or stiff as a board. The limbs on the anthro Sonic characters are thinner than they already were, and their bodies look like like they’re trying to morph into Slenderman.

Just look at it!

Of course, we can’t forget, Trollface Sam.

Shinichiro Minami

In my opinion, this is the worst animation style that was used in Sonic X!

The characters look grotesque! Everyone looks mutant like or chunky. Like Sonic and his friends discovered all of the junk food that Earth had to offer, but they didn’t heed Chris’ warning about consuming too much of it.(And please do not get the wrong idea that I’m “fat shaming”, or something like that. Sonic characters would actually look cute with more meat on the bones, in my opinion. Problem here is that they’re being drawn by bad artists/animators here- thin or fat, they still look terrible..)

Some of my favorites from this guy are, Cellulite Sonic.

Fatty Rose

Mutant Teddy Bear Tails

Chris’ puberty spike

Rouge Vs. Trekkies

I’ve noticed with this style how there’s these colored lines in the character’s irises. Like they were attempting to make the characters look more “kawaii desu”, but failed miserably at it.

[llatimeria]

thoughts on the ones we've seen so far:

little mermaid: is cute i guess. we just quoted the niel cicirega comic back and forth at each other the entire time instead of absorbing any information

101 dalmations: i really like the art style. lucky has a little horseshoe of spots on his back btw if you even care

lady and the tramp: baby lady was sooo cute and sooo lonely i just want to take her home when jim dear was refusing to let her sleep in the bed with him and darling. spaghetti kiss scene is a classic. jim dear and darling is extremely cute as a concept but also the humans also refer to darling as "darling" despite not having any reason to call her that. i didnt retain anything else

scamp's adventure: wow i sure wish that big dog would stop flirting with that puppy. angels design very cute though. also only 2 people voice the 3 girl puppies and its very strange. made worse by the fact that theyre both iconic voice actors so i just kept hearing completely unrelated cartoon characters whenever they spoke

pinnochio: unironically awful. well animated i guess but just . really fucking bad. plot and themes made me angry. 0/10

snow white: buttered white bread toast with some sugar on top of a movie. bland and sweet simultaneously. so old and so parodied that i kept expecting the other shoe to drop and the joke to start happening but it never did. it simply was what it was. i found snow white a lot cuter than i expected though

el dorado: problematic fav of course. my el dorado hot take is that altivo is the best animated horse of all animated horses

mulan: id call this one a problematic fav also but also i dont know if id call it a Favorite, it's just got a bit of cool shit in there (the bisexual + transmasc energies, the HARD end of girl worth fighting for when the gang finds the destroyed village and then the absence of singing until the huns are defeated. genuinely a really interesting and cool move for a musical). also they say the word "honor" a lot, presumably for no reason at all and definitely hasn't contributed to cultural perceptions of chinese people, nope

aristocats: kitties cute

beauty and the beast: unfortunately beast's design is really hot. why do all of chip's siblings live in the cupboard while chip is allowed to roam free

hunchback of notre dame: i think quasimodo shouldve had an actual love interest considering the theme of the movie is basically dont judge a book by its cover. like i don't really think he shouldve ended up with esmerelda specifically (he puts her on a pedestal, she kinda treats him like a special needs child) but it still feels like it shouldve ended with quasimodo finding genuine romantic love. hellfire fucks though

ice age: "the assassin you sent to kill me is part of my found family now" the movie. ice age 1 feels like a completely different movie than the sequels do in such big ways that my brain is struggling to comprehend them as the same franchise

for real though for some reason rosie and i decided the best background noise while we fought in the splatfest was miscellaneous disney movies (and other non-disney animated movies for children, but we mostly started with disney) and thats kicked off an impromptu marathon of disney movies and other non-disney animated movies for children. this is what we've watched so far

and heres our list of things we are maybe going to watch. maybe.

[jkl-fff]

Ha! Well, thank you for acknowledging my basic human agency—my freedom—to answer or not answer as I see fit. Heh … Seriously, though, it’s no problem; please continue to send in any and all the questions you like. The attention and interest are, frankly, flattering. And the distraction is more than welcome—it’s fun!—so no worries.

First Time as a Teacher, How Did I Feel? This one is sorta tough, because I’ve kinda always been a teacher in one capacity or another ever since I was … gosh, 14? 15? That was when I started working as a camp counselor during the summer for the Boy Scouts (did so until I was 19). While I was there … Ho boy, I taught a ton of different merit badges—basket weaving, astronomy, emergency preparedness, first aid, wilderness survival, orienteering, small boat sailing, rock-climbing …

After that, I was on a religious mission for two years (because I was raised mormon and that’s just what mormons do) in France. Pretty much spent *all* of that time teaching people about the religion, or teaching other missionaries how to be more effective at teaching people about the religion (by Cthulhu’s carpals, I was so young and naif and desperately closeted back then … feels like it was four life-times ago …), and teaching a weekly free English class as a service to people. Though, naturally, the end goal of that was finding more people to teach about the religion, so … When that ended, I was asked to keep teaching in my home congregation, and did so until I was about … 23, and just sorta collapsed inside. Couldn’t keep pretending I wasn’t attracted to other men, couldn’t keep pretending the god I had believed in was helping me be happy, couldn’t keep pretending the whole thing wasn’t thrice-damned absurd … So I stopped.

Spent another year living in France after that, this time in the employ of their Ministry of Education as an English teaching assistant in a French high school. Then two years teaching French for one university while I got a Masters’ Degree (standard trade off: graduate students teach lower-level courses, usually getting their tuition waived, health benefits, and a modest stipend), an intense month teaching an accelerated French course for the National Guard, and finally (after a brief hiatus working for FedEx) here I am in my second year of teaching French for a different university.

To say nothing of all the Taekwon-Do teaching I’ve been regularly entrusted with since I was, like, 16 …

Like I said, it’s tough to answer this one. So constant, so regular, and for so long … I just don’t really remember how the first times at each respective task felt anymore. But I do know that it *now* feels exhilarating and energizing every time my class starts one of its French lessons. Those are kinda the times that I feel most alive during the week …

First Time Writing a ParaPines Fic, What Made Me Write It? “Adorable Like a Werekitten” (shameless plug time, read it and all my fics here: https://jkl-fff.deviantart.com/) was both my first ParaPines fic and also my first foray into fanfic altogether. According to the posting timestamp … jeez, that was on October 2nd, 2012—a little over 5 years ago … And as to what made me write it, well … ParaPines came into my life during what was a rather tumultuous time, emotionally speaking.

Back then, it was like I was adrift at sea (maybe I still am … but at least the sea is more-or-less calm now, whereas back then it felt like a maelstrom within a hurricane, and I would foundering). Happiness and companionship and love—even just as meaningful friendship outside of my family—were all things I had pretty much abandoned forever all hope of finding (gods above, I sound like an emo album from 2006!) when two things happened: I discovered some … er, ahem, um … erotic fanart of Dipper Pines (which led to discovering more fanart in general, which led to discovering Gravity Falls and ParaPines and ParaNorman, all of which I found to be some of the most fantastic and adorable things to ever exist), and I fell in love with a guy in real life.

Actually, the falling in love part might have been what made everything so tumultuous emotionally … Certainly, I was not happy before him, but I was content in my unhappiness. It was a stable, dependably gray life I led before him. And then, suddenly, in my life … him. Just as suddenly, I started questioning somethings … then everythings … then ALL OF THE THINGS! Why should I linger in misery? Why cling to celibacy? What purpose was there in remaining faithful to vows I had made for a god I no longer believed in? What exactly was wrong with being gay? Why was I so convinced being gay was wrong? Why did I loathe myself so? If I had committed no fault, why shouldn’t I deserve to be as happy as anyone who was straight? Why not *all* the gay people? Why not everyone everywhere? Why not me right here and right now? Why not me … and him, with him, for him and to him and through him and by him forever and ever? Of course, it was a slow process, what with being internal and psychological. Seldom so explicit and obvious as my gloss above suggests. No, it took months and years for most of these questions to work through themselves, and honestly some of that working is still taking place even now. I hope it never stops.

But I digress. All of this gradual falling in love with him and becoming friends with him and spending time with him and pining over him and despairing because of him—all of this, and more, which had me adrift in that maelstrom in that hurricane—was taking place during and after my discoveries, as I said above, of Gravity Falls and ParaNorman and the joyous amalgam of both that is ParaPines. I was in dire straits and desperate need of something—of anything at all—that could anchor me a little, and this fit the bill. Y’see, both shows are great (great writing, great characterization, great plot development, great messages), so I could enjoy them each unironically without a sense of embarrassment. And … and and and … the ParaPines fanart was all so … so pure, so innocent, so bright and free and easy. The boys always looked so cute and happy together, y’know? As if being gay with another boy was as simple as that. No big identity struggle, no big community turmoil, no angst, no pain, no fear. Just … two gay boys being cute and happy together, with everything being as simple as that for them … Basically, everything I was craving, everything I was fantasizing about, everything I wanted for myself and him … Everything I wanted “being gay” to mean …

So I latched onto this fandom like a life preserver (it may actually have been something that preserved my life), and soon found that I just needed to contribute to it. I *needed* to write, y’know? Needed to put all of the thoughts and feeling swirling and sloshing and storming around in my head down onto paper. So I started writing for the fandom, using that writing as a means to work through some of my insecurities and anxieties about being gay, about being in love with someone who I always dreaded would leave my feelings unrequited … Heh. Poor little Norman. Though they’re all foils for parts of me, he got the brunt of all my angst, falling head-over-heels for DipDopDoblivious.

All of which to explain why I’m so invested in these two, even today, and probably will be for the rest of my life. Simultaneously, they’re now imbued with parts of my very psyche and identity, and have basically kept me from ripping myself to pieces.

Oh, and more specifically for ALaW, I saw some freakin’ adorable art by @skeletonizer featuring werecat Dipper, and sorta had to write something in which Dipper became a werecat. Like, it was too cute to be resisted. Heh. I remember being shocked at myself as I wrote it (“Really? You’re writing a story about a crossover of two characters from completely different franchises? You sunk this low?”), and trying to justify it to myself as a literary exercise (“I’m seeing if I can write in a completely different tone and style than I normally do! That’s all that’s going on here, I swear!”) so I wouldn’t feel like such a nerd/dork/geek. Ha! Although it turned out to be a slippery slope, that ParaPines fanfic, since now I’m sliding down it all “WHEEEEEEEEEE!” with no hope of every getting back up and out of it. And embrace the persona of being a nerd/dork/gook wholeheartedly (life is too short not to let yourself love what you love because of what anyone else—including yourself—might think). 

Best “mistake” I ever made, deciding to write that fanfic!

(WARNING: A LITTLE NSFW AFTER THIS)

First Kiss and First Sex *sigh* These can both be conjoined, as they happened at the same event. The memories aren’t exactly pleasant for me (or rather, memories connected with him aren’t exactly pleasant for me now … they’ve all become rather melancholy), so I’m not going to dwell on or develop the answers overmuch. It was at a New Year’s Party, one that was jampacked with people and flooded with alcohol that people had brought with them to contribute to the festivities.

Now, I loved (love?) him, but I’ve never been under any illusions: he’s self-destructive, he’s damaged inside (more so than average people), and he’s an alcoholic as a result. That night, he imbibed freely and flitted about like a boisterous social butterfly. And I, true to my demeanor, drank only water or orange juice mixed with fresca. For the most part, I stuck to corners or quieter spaces or would linger out on the deck and watch the city in the distance (perhaps I would’ve spent the whole night out there, save that it was December-becoming-January and bitterly cold). Y’see, I’ve never much cared for parties; loud music, jumbled conversations in a raucous din, tight spaces filled with people, strangers everywhere I went … I’ve never cared for any of these. They overwhelm me and tire out my brain. But I would periodically go in search of him and check that everything was still okay, then force myself to try and socialize a little before seeking out a quieter spot again. As midnight approached, he came in search of me. He said he wanted me to be his New Year’s first kiss, and … and I had been pining for him for months at that point, dreaming of it—of my first kiss—being him, being the first person I had ever been *in love* with, saving my first kiss for him … Such a silly, romantic fool I was … so of course I acquiesced at once. Perhaps I shouldn’t have, but … Gods above, he was clumsy and uncoordinated from being drunk and there was that sickly-sweet aftertaste of booze on his lips. Yet it was the best kiss of my life—a kiss that sorta ruined kissing for me, because no other kiss has ever made me feel like that one did …

Next thing I knew, he had led me down into the basement, which was a roiling cauldron of fog (from a machine) and colored dance lights and silhouettes of other guys moving slowly to the music. The room wasn’t big and there were plenty of other guys in it, yet it felt strangely private. The fog made it impossible to recognize anyone unless you were standing right next to him, plus there seemed to be an unspoken understanding on the part of all present (all except me, who felt lost and at a loss in an alien world, since I wasn’t completely out yet and all of this was new and confusing to me) that this space was one free from the gaze and the judgment of others. Every man was anonymous down there, in a way, even to those he knew. Even to himself, perhaps. Maybe that was why he had brought me down there. Like a spatial manifestation of drunkenness, that room was a haze of socially accepted deniability to those went in. Anything that happened down there was considered to stay down there and dissolve from memory and the real world when the fog did. Inhibitions didn’t have to exist, and neither did consequences or responsibilities. [Which is all utter bullshit, by the way. You are you; you are what you do and what you say, and neither alcohol nor anonymity absolve you of responsibility for what you do and what you say, for who you are. People like to tell themselves the fairytale that these things can change you, or that it’s not really you when under their influence … but, like all fairytales, that’s bullshit people tell themselves to feel better so they can try and skip out on owning up to their own mistakes. Gods, I *hate* alcohol sometimes.] Anyway, he made out with me for a while against one of the walls. I should’ve said “no”, I should’ve told him that he was drunk and this wasn’t what he really wanted, but … When I made some feeble attempts at protest, he just said, “Shhh …” and kept going. And I was too weak to insist after that, too desperate for something more than just hanging out with him to refuse … Some other guys joined us for a bit, and he initiated a circle jerk with them. But I was only interested in him, and I guess the others picked up on that because they soon left me and him as alone as one could be in that room. He stroked me for a while, then sucked me for a while, but wouldn’t let me return the favor for long because he was “too drunk to get it up” …

The next day and every day after that, we pretended that nothing had happened—never spoke of it—though when I hinted at it … it was clear that he did remember. Crystal clear. But he wanted it to be something that dissolved with the haze of the room and the alcohol, something that wasn’t and wouldn’t then or ever be remembered, something that would never exist in the real world.

Sadly, that wouldn’t be the last time I got my heart broken by him. People think I’m smart, but I sure do make some dumb mistakes sometimes … and I make them over and over again …

Thanks again for the asks! Hopefully that downer ending on that last one won’t deter anyone from sending in more asks, though. Don’t be shy, people! Send in anything and everything you want to know! I’d be more than happy to answer them (and especially now that I just finished making myself depressed), and find them quite the fun distraction!

[bubblline]

so i've recently gotten into haikyuu and your art is so amazing and i 100% ship kuroken because of it. like wow, you really capture their subtle feelings really well. i was wondering if you had any fic recs though? you've dragged me into this hell, please take responsibility.

just so you know THIS IS AMAZING AND I AM NOT SORRY ANON 

thank you so much for your kind words Q-Q, I often feel like my art is not enough? like not expressive enough, or just not nice to look at so that means a lot me

okay I’ve read TONS of excellent kuroken in my days and here are some of my favorites. Also be aware that most of these are longer because I love slowburn and you can’t just have that in 3k words but there are some shorter oneshots around too.

The links are under the cut because I have no chill and there are SO MANY

AND PLEASE READ ALL THE TAGS BEFORE DELVING IN

Let’s start with a Classic: How Kuroo found Kenma by @suggestivescribe.It’s a really funny and cute college-get-together-fic in which Kuroo suddenly realizes he’s been in love with Kenma FOREVER and chaos ensues. Oikawa is also Kuroo’s other best friend in this and idk about you but I love me some Oikuroo friendship. This fic is sort of a prequel to another of Scribe’s iwaoi fics, which is also amazing and Kuroo and Kenma do appear from time to time: Conquering the Great King (but be warned that fic has A LOT of smut)

The first multi-chapter story I read with them isSeasons of Love by @nimbus-cloudThis is set after the current events of canon, Kenma is a third year and Kuroo is off to college, they have to figure out how to deal with a long-distance relationship. It’s very well written and a very sweet discovery of what it means to grow up.(There’s a second part too!!)

And from here on out the fics I’m listing aren’t in any particular order

Chamomile and Carnivorous Plants by @ellessey-writes (M) 10k‘There was no great defining moment, no point in time Kenma can look to and say, That’s what did it. That’s when I fell for Kuroo. He just did somehow.And it’s the worst. For so many reasons.’–Kenma needs to admit a few things to himself, and to Kuroo.and the second part Come a little bit closer (E) 13k

this is seriously DELIGHTFUL I love Kenma coming to terms with his feelings and his futile attempts to not be in love

Dream  Catcher by @shions-heart​ (T) 16,9kTetsurou is an Akumu no Seishin, a Nightmare Spirit. His kind absorb the nightmares of humans, allowing them peaceful sleep. Although Tetsurou has existed for centuries, he’s never truly felt alive.Not until he comes across the first human to ever see him.

really really cool world-building, I also imagined this Kuroo a lot like Howl in his raven form. And I think it’s obvious that I love Sy with all the other fics in this rec…….. 

Thieves in the Night by skittidyne (M) 15,7k“Oh.” The man blinks a couple times, surprised, and looks around at the mess again. “…You live like this?” The amount of raw sympathy in his voice is, frankly, insulting. “Why are you in my bedroom in the middle of the night?”“Oh, I was going to rob you,” the man replies easily. He winces at the mess around him once more. “I, uh, kind of thought you were already hit, and I didn’t want to make things worse for you, y’know?”“Get out.”(( or: kenma gets visited by a stupidly considerate thief, who won’t stop visiting him )).

I’ve laughed so much while reading this it’s 1000% RIDICULOUS but at the same time very sweet and funny. Seeing Kuroo as a catburglar has to be one of the funniest images ever.

Being Human: Origins by @shions-heart (M) 41,7kKuroo Tetsurou is a witch’s apprentice living above The Black Cat, a magic supply store where he also works. When his master leaves him for an assignment in China, and his best friends Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime abandon him for a working vacation on the beach, Kuroo commits the taboo and summons a demon to help him in the shop and help drive back the loneliness that lingers in the shadows.

Only the demon he summons isn’t the type of demon he expects, and he finds himself stuck with it with no idea of how to return it to where it belongs.

I love this universe with its urban magic and Kuroo is just the sweetest in this? He just wants some peace to study?? but boy does he get more than he signed up for

An Ode by manzana (G) 1,7kkenma unironically loves kuroo’s laugh – gross and loud and embarrassing and all.

pure sweetness, I love reading Kenma’s POV and see how he just genuinely loves Kuroo

Step by Step by @dgalerab (M) 14,7kEveryone might think that Kenma is the one that is always following Kuroo, but it’s Kuroo that’s been trying to slip his life into Kenma’s since he can remember. He might get a little scared by the idea of going off to college without Kenma. Kenma handles it.

I love the hc that Kuroo just decided to be Kenma’s friend and then stuck with him, they balance each other so well and I think that comes out in this story

The Start of Something New by @shions-heart​ (T) 5kBefore Kuroo leaves for university, he realizes this may be his last chance to confess his feelings to his best friend, Kenma.Despite his resolve, actually getting the words out proves to be … difficult.

This was my birthday gift this year and I love it to bits, it’s very very cute and Kuroo my love is just so dense it’s glorious.

Common side effects by @notallballs (M) 38k (not complete)Kuroo Tetsurou is pushing thirty, recently single, and just moved back in with his mother. Struggling to reconnect with old friends, losing touch with his goals, Kuroo feels like his life is slipping backward, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

A chance encounter with an old friend might just be the sign he’s been waiting for, if he’s smart enough to make the most of it.

This story is slightly different from what I usually read because it starts off rather dark, Kuroo got dumped, hasn’t seen Kenma in ages and is generally in a bad place mentally but it’s so great to see him slowly pulling through all of that and rekindling his friendship with Kenma. Another bonus is Kuroo’s mom in this story, she’s AMAZING. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

How to Save a Life by @shions-heart (M) 18,4kKuroo Tetsurou’s parents are killed by vampires when he is eight years old. Twelve years later, consumed by rage and hatred for the vampire kind, the hunter still searches for the coven that killed them, vowing justice (or revenge).Kozume Kenma thinks he’d rather die than live as a vampire, but when the newly turned nineteen-year-old’s path crosses Kuroo’s, the hunter spares his life in exchange for his assistance in avenging the hunter’s parents’ death.Tension is a string pulled taut between them, and sooner or later something will snap.

Another thing written for me BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH OKAY IT HAS VAMPIRES AND ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS. Kuroo is also a lot harsher and meaner than what we usually see of him but that only makes it so much more satifying to read when he finally wakes up.

Teach me the way home by @icespyders (T) 22kDon’t go far off, not even for a day, because —because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is longand I will be waiting for you, as in an empty stationwhen the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.

This fic is ethereal, it definitely succeedes in conveying this sort of restlessness that trains have for me, it’s very episodic and I love that about it because it still manages to tell a coherent story and to be a sort of character study. I really really love it.

Best Friends by @mysecretfanmoments​ (E) 6,3kEvery evening they walk home together, Kuro smelling of salt and suntan lotion, Kenma’s hands sore from scooping ice cream all day, and it feels nice. Peaceful.He’s glad Kuro came, after all.((During the two weeks he spends manning his uncle’s ice cream booth on the coast, Kenma decides that maybe he likes his best friend back, after all))

Reading this fic feels a lot like hanging out outside in summer, just enjoying the warmth and comfort of the familiar. I can’t tell you how often I read this fic, dozen of times probably. It just captures their relationship really well I think, I also love the setting around the beach a lot

national hot dad alliance is now calling… by @dicaeopolis and @owlinaminor (T) 58,2kSawamura Daichi: What the fuck.

(Or, the captains’ squad interactions that definitely happen outside of canon, presented in Skype chat form.)This isn’t focused on krkn but it’s hilarious and it definitely made me cry too, it’s mainly in chat format but there are a couple of ‘novel style’ scenes as well, I would say this is also a bit of a character study, the authors managed to tell each of the captain’s stories with so much humor and wit but also seriousness when it was needed

Those are not all the kuroken fics I’ve read of course and I couldn’t list every single one i like but I have an ao3 where i save my bookmarks and add new ones when I stumble over anything good

[rieshon]

Fall 2018 Power Rankings

Wow, I actually finished this shit sort of on time this season.

1 Yagate Kimi ni Naru: You know a show is good when you put off finishing it just because you don't want it to end. I did that with Yagakimi this season, and not only is it my favorite show of the season, I'm pretty sure it's my favorite yuri anime of all time. It's not just that Touko and Yuu are such an adorable couple, but that the story and relationship dynamics are genuinely original for a yuri anime. You've got two heroines who are de facto dating from the outset, so no will-they won't-they bullshit like most yuri stories (lookin' at you citrus)... But only sort of, because it's complicated. You've got one heroine who doesn't want her girlfriend to fall in love with her because she has a weird identity crisis because of past trauma and is afraid to embrace her own individuality which having someone fall in love with her would validate because she's "only herself" around said girlfriend... And then you've got the other heroine who thinks she's asexual/aromantic but slowly starts to realize she's actually just gay, but only after she's promised her girlfriend she won't fall in love with her because she "can't." To say this is a weird relationship is putting it mildly. There's also some stuff you usually don't see in anime at all, like another character who actually IS aro/ace, and a live-in adult lesbian couple (one of whom is actually revealed to be bi later on) who are the Big Gay Mentors to the younger characters. There is still the requisite amount of Yuri Melodrama, of course (elevated by a beautiful soundtrack from the venerable Haketa Takefumi) but it's so much more interesting than usual here. Oh, and of course, as I mentioned above, Touko and Yuu are the most darling couple ever, perfect cinnamon rolls who must be protected. Well, okay, maybe not perfect: they got issues. But I love this story and characters so much I actually picked up the manga to read what happens next, and I basically never do that. Maybe it's not technically the "best" anime of the season, but it's the one I love the most. ★★★★☆

2 SSSS.GRIDMAN: Somehow, based Trig just keep doing it. You'd be forgiven for thinking Darling in the Franxx, the show that has "SMART ANIME FOR ADULTS" practically engraved on everything about it, would be the 'cerebral' robot anime Trigger made this year, and Gridman, a spinoff of a cheesy tokusatsu show that was itself a spinoff of Ultraman, would be little more than a fun but forgettable robot romp. You'd be totally wrong, of course: Gridman is every bit the heavyweight that previous Trigger/Gainax robot anime are, with its own flair of course. It takes a while for it to fully develop and present its themes about social anxiety and isolation, but once it does it really pops off. The dual heroines of Akane and Rikka are brilliant, not just for their lewd character designs but also for how well their stories are written. Rikka is the real hero of the show--Yuuta might be the one jumping around in a robot, but ultimately Rikka is the most important. Stellar performances from both Ueda Reina and Miyamoto Yume as Akane and Rikka, respectively, really carry the thematic weight of the show. There is, of course, some great art and animation on display, as you might expect from Trigger, who always make the most (and then some) of whatever resources they're given. Episode 9, which takes place for the most part inside of a dream, was especially visually striking. An all around great production and one that won't soon be forgotten. ★★★★☆

3 Zombie Land Saga: With all that out of the way, here's a show about some moe zombies. Ah, anime, even after all these years it still finds ways to surprise me, like a show about moe zombie idols being as genuinely moving as it is hilarious. Probably the weirdest thing about Zombie Land Saga, even as a show that features the undead filming commercials for a Saga-based fried chicken restaurant and competing in a Takeshi's Castle-style mud Olympics, is that it unironically works as an idol anime, too. All the characters (well, except for Yuugiri, who is woefully underutilized) really do grow throughout the show and it gives the idol anime aspect a really solid backbone to build off of. Of course, Zombie Land Saga is more than just another idol anime, and calling it a zombie idol anime is somehow still selling it short. From the aforementioned chicken commercials, to the unforgettably epic zombie rap battle, to the middle schooler biker gangs, to basically everything Yamada Tae does, this show was not just surprisingly moving but shockingly hilarious at times. Also, it must be noted that these zombies are fricking adorable: definitely way cuter than the undead should ever be. Especially Junko who is the best girl, once again proving the superiority of Showa idols. ★★★★☆

4 Seishun Buta Yarou wa Bunny Girl Senpai no Yume wo Minai: Since this is a light novel anime through and through, it seems fair to describe it in terms of light novel anime: it's basically the Monogatari series meets Oregairu. Our sardonic protagonist with a heart of gold (and impossibly hot girlfriend) meets a bunch of high school girls with weird supernatural problems and helps them solve them. That might make it sound boring or derivative, but as I always harp on, it's really all in the execution and Aobuta sticks the landing. It reminds me of those above shows not just in narrative content but also in terms of how sharp the dialogue is: it is one of those delightful shows where you could have two characters just have a conversation for 24 minutes and it would still be endlessly absorbing. The reliable Ishikawa Kaito is great as our male lead, bringing not just snappy wit to the table but also a surprising amount of emotional depth in later story arcs. The aloof, sarcastic protagonist is of course done to death in this genre (hi, Kyon!) but Sakuta is certainly an example of it done well. It helps that he's such a loving oniichan and cute boyfriend, which really endears him to the viewer. The gallery of heroines is of course stocked with plenty of cute and sexy girls--the art and animation is top notch--but what really carries the show is Sakuta's relationship with his girlfriend (and best girl) Mai, which is a continuing story throughout the series even as the focus moves to other heroines. They're just so adorable together. Ironically, the element of the show that probably matters the least is the weird sort-of-sci-fi plot hooks: you're really just here to watch these characters talk through their emotions and stumble through adolescence, and the sci-fi plot devices are basically incidental to all of it. ★★★★☆

5 Himote House: Talk about a dark horse of an anime... Himote House is the latest... thing... from the man, the myth, the legend who brought us Minarai Diva, Ishidate Koutarou, and it's great. It's half nichijou-kei anime, half just a seiyuu radio show that's animated, and it's all superb. In the scripted bits, the show can get wonderfully weird, from the episode that used the Game of Life to teach us about the lack of gay rights in Japan, to the episode that took place entirely inside of a copy machine, and I haven't even mentioned the Bitcoin episode yet, which is too bizarre to even give away in this review no one will read. The unscripted bits are also great thanks to a collection of some of the seiyuu industry's top personalities, including the always great combination of Suzakinishi, comedic genius Mimorin, and the criminally underrated Mizuhara Kaoru whose performance as Tokiyo really must be experienced: it starts over the top and just keeps going from there. Even the cheap 3DCG animation is surprisingly charming, and it's at least good enough that these girls look genuinely cute, although the show is also helped along by regularly inserting some nice hand-drawn stills in the most important moments. Almost everyone probably overlooked this show this season, but I'd give it a hearty recommendation. ★★★★☆

6 Tonari no Kyuuketsuki-san: I hope Comic Cune anime are here to stay, because this was certainly the best pure nichijou-kei offering this season. It's "cute girl vampires" but, as you might expect from the source, this is the most laid-back depiction of vampires you're ever going to find in fiction. None of the human characters even seem to be remotely bothered that vampires are in their midst, the sun is an inconvenience that mostly makes it harder to go buy manga in the middle of the day, and they order their blood from Amazon. Even when a vampire hunter shows up, she's just won over by the vampire girls' cuteness. It does use vampire lore to tell some amusing jokes at times, like Sophie getting trapped outside because she had to count all the seeds in a sunflower, or Akari getting a plank put on her in bed because the vampires felt bad that her bed didn't have a lid, but mostly you're just here for the cute girls cuting, and cute they do. There's the requisite amount of soft yuri, and the character designs and animation are fantastic. Very little to complain about here--the show's only real weakness is that the jokes are occasionally kind of meh. Ellie is best girl. ★★★☆☆

7 Uchi no Meido ga Uzasugiru!: Shocking no one, the Comedy God delivered again. This show is frequently laugh out loud funny, and it's helped along by animation from Douga Koubou that is right up there with some of the best they've ever produced. The sole factor that makes this show somewhat weaker than Oota Masahiko's previous works is that with its completely absurd comedic premise it is ultimately trying to tell a very serious story--about a little girl who is terrified of having her late mother replaced by having any other adult woman enter her life--with a premise that definitely should not be telling a serious story. The show is at its best when Tsubame (voiced by Numakura Manami in some of her best-ever work) is being an irredeemable lolicon shithead, not a role model. Still, the show is pretty great most of the time, and it only gets better when ドM best girl Midorin turns up about halfway through. The Russian loli is pretty cute too I guess, but as seems to always be the case in these shows (I can't help but remember another Douga Koubou production, Mikakunin de Shinkoukei) the silliest and most perverted girls always steal the show. ★★★☆☆

8 Irozuku Sekai no Ashita Kara: It's a P.A. Works original, so that means it's time to complain about how it's not as good as other P.A. Works originals! Seriously though, although it's not the second coming of TARI TARI, this show is easy to recommend, being beautiful both artistically and narratively, with a simple and heartfelt story to tell about a girl going to a new place (well, a new time) to discover herself. Yep, you guessed it, this is one of my favorites: sentimentality anime! Girl literally learns to see the beauty in the world that she had been blind to by leaving her comfort zone and falling in love. Good shit, good shit. My main complaint is that the best girl, Kurumi, gets short shrift as best girls often do, although she at least does get one little story arc to develop her character. Ishihara Kaori is solid as the female lead, but I just loved Naobou as the snarky Kurumi so much. It's also worth noting that although the cast actually has a fairly even gender split, all the male characters are pretty much inoffensive to likable, which is all I really ask in a show like this. There's no one on the level of Wien, but Chigusa and Kurumi's relationship was pretty cute. Overall, though, this show is just about drinking in the atmosphere and the feels, and trying to avoid thinking about time paradoxes. ★★★☆☆

9 Akanesasu Shoujo: I had cautiously high expectations for this show going into the season, and although it didn't blow me away with a masterpiece, I was satisfied with what I got. The show doesn't have the best production values, but it has a solid premise that is executed well. A group of misfit high school girls in the incredibly lame Radio Club find a way to slip between alternate dimensions, have misadventures where they learn that The Real Power Was Inside Us All Along, and end up saving the universe from being consumed by some vague evilness. The story comes courtesy KID's Uchikoshi Koutarou, and definitely feels like something you might find in a science fiction visual novel. It's not afraid to be at least a little adventurous, with the various dimensions we visit being varying degrees and kinds of social commentary, and it even goes as far as killing off major characters and actually letting them stay dead! Plus, it had Kurosawa Tomoyo basically playing like three or four characters at once, which has to be worth something. If nothing else, I respected this series. ★★☆☆☆

10 Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet: Romeo and Juliet may well be the Bard's most widely popular play, so it's not surprising that now we have an anime version of it... sort of. In true anime fashion, this is not a tragedy of star-crossed lovers, but a comedy of errors about two goofball kids who fall in love at a ridiculous boarding school. Set against a backdrop of, uh, race war. Kayano Ai's blondenblu Juliet is pretty cute but as is typical in these shows the best girls never win, namely Ayaneru's Hasuki and the actual best girl, Shimamura Yuu's Chartreux. As always, the gay girls are the best. The show does have an unusually likable protagonist for one in this genre: Romio is a big dork who is singlemindedly dedicated to his cute girlfriend, and even if she's not the best girl, you definitely want to root for them. A pretty good show. ★★☆☆☆

11 Animayell!: Kirara anime are playing second fiddle to other cute girl shows again this season, but like Harukana Receive last season, this show is still decent. What it lacks in a compelling premise (sorry, not only do I come in thinking cheerleading is lame, but the show's animation isn't good enough to get it over as a cool thing) it makes up for in the most important ingredient for an anime, homosexuality. Not only is there the immaculately gay Hanawa-chan and the extremely homo Ukki, for some reason at one point theres also a completely random, out lesbian side character who asks our heroines for advice confessing to her female home tutor. But yeah, it's definitely worth it for Hanawa and Ukki at least; your mileage may vary on the rest of the actual show. ★★☆☆☆

12 Sword Art Online Alicization: I've repeatedly gone on record saying I love a slow burn, and I don't necessarily mind when nothing happens in a show if its at least giving me some good atmosphere and characters to gnaw on in the meantime... But man, is the new SAO one slow-ass show. Though I've never read the books, this really feels like a case of following the Original Way too closely. That's not to say that what is here is bad by any means; there's some truly interesting concepts, a good SAO story, and of course some stellar animation, but they probably could have cut this first cours down to like, six episodes and still accomplished the same things. I still have confidence that it will get more hype as we progress, though. There's a long way to go in this one yet, so this rating is anything but final. ★★☆☆☆

13 Debidoru!: This show is an ugly looking 3DCG abomination that was probably made in MikuMikuDance, but thankfully we now live in a post-Kemono Friends world, and so Debidoru! was still pretty great. You couldn't ask for a better trio of voices for an ad-lib stuffed comedy than Hanazawa Kana, Mimori Suzuko and Iguchi Yuka and they fill their roles with aplomb, especially Iguchi, who at one point tsukkomis so hard she clips the microphone. Like the best no-money shorts it also had some moments of true ART, like Sugahara Souta (the director) singing the moe opening song (in one uncut take) for no reason, or one of the greatest things I saw all season, episode 11, which was done (also in one take) entirely with paper cutouts of the characters in front of a camcorder. It's not really a mastapeece in the way Himote House was, but it was certainly a memorable little show. ★★☆☆☆

14 Beelzebub-jou no Okinimesu Mama: I'm as surprised as anyone that this show ended up as low as it did, but by the end of the season I had a hard time convincing myself to even load up the latest episode of this one, and it's hard for me to really even say why. On the face of it it should be my jam: it's full of cute girls and pastel colors, and it's even occasionally lewd. Really, it's probably just because there's so many male characters who get a decent amount of attention in the narrative. It also doesn't help that Beelzebub (despite being a cute blondenblu voiced by Oonishi Saori) is not really a very appealing character, which makes the protagonist, who is constantly fawning over her like she's the best thing since sliced bread, come off as less likable as well. It had some good stuff too, like Sargatanas's shyness and Gocchin's needing to pee constantly, but I guess it wasn't quite enough to hold my interest. It also doesn't help that my favorite girl, Eurynome, was barely even in the show after she was introduced. We ankle fetishists gotta stick together, man! ★☆☆☆☆

15 Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken: I had exactly zero expectations for this show to begin with, so I was pleasantly surprised with it at first. Those great typographic effects, especially, really sucked me into the first episode and I was excited to see where it went for the first few weeks, especially with the promise of cute girls on the horizon. The girls have been underwhelming, though (mainly by virtue of their having nothing to do in the story) and what actually is going on in the story, I find incredibly dull. Rimuru is just such a booooring protagonist, and his very existence tends to sap the tension out of scenes since you know he's ridiculously OP and will probably just absorb whatever bad thing shows up next like he's absorbed every other bad thing up to that point. 俺TUEEEEEE isn’t even necessarily something I hate, and it can be made to work, but Rimuru isn’t cool enough of a guy or really interesting in any way that I can self-insert and live vicariously through his TUEEEEE-ness. Just give me more Shion, she is the best purple oni secretary. ★☆☆☆☆

16 Hashiritsuzukete Yokattatte: I guess I should put this down since it's technically a show I finished from this season. It's kinda boring and lame, do not recommend. The girl with the glasses never even puts them on, she just wears them on top of her head like a doofus the whole time. Might have been able to deliver some feels if it was in a longer format, but just falls flat due to the <60 minute total runtime. ☆☆☆☆☆

[blaerbear]

So there was this Mass Effect Andromeda 30 day countdown thing going around that I never bothered to start because I was lazy but now that the hype is hitting me full force, I’ve decided to be self indulgent and catch up with it for the final days. I’ll put it under the cut bc it’s long lol

30 Days: Will you play SisRyder or BroRyder first? Why? How does your Ryder define their gender?

Definitely SisRyder because I always play as a girl if the option is given to me. She identifies as a cis female. 

29 Days: What is your Ryder’s name? Why did you pick this name - is there a meaning or origin story behind it? Do they go by any nicknames? What would you name their sibling, father and mother if you were able to choose?

Tobin Ryder! She is named after my favorite soccer player. If I could name her brother, his name would be Christian. Her father’s name stays Alec, and her mother was Elizabeth. Tobin doesn’t go by any nicknames. 

28 Days: Are you going to use the default appearance or create a custom Ryder? If custom, describe your Ryder’s physical appearance (hair color, eye color, skin color, height, weight, facial features, any scars or tattoos, racial origin, etc). If you have art and/or a face-claim, feel free to add them here.

I’m gonna create a custom character, but she will look relatively similar. The ponytail style works for Tobin because she used to play sports and got used to tying it up. She has brown eyes and light freckles on her face. Honestly her face claim is prolly just gonna be Tobin Heath, who she is named after, with some slight differences ofc.

27 Days: Are you going to use the default appearance for Ryder’s sibling or customize them? Describe your ideas for their sibling’s and father’s physical appearance.

I will prolly keep her brother as the default since I think he looks fine. But if Tobin ends up looking a lot different than I pictured, I might tinker with his look a bit. 

26 Days: Do you have a specific class profile or mix of class profiles in mind for Ryder?

Def Vanguard. She picks up some infiltrator abilities due to her desire to learn how to fire a sniper rifle. She’s not used to hanging back and timing her shots, so it’s sort of a goal for her.

25 Days: Describe Ryder’s favorite combat style. Bioware call Peebee a “gunslinger” and describe Liam as a “close-range fighter” - how would you describe Ryder’s combat role/strengths? What are some of their favorite biotic/tech/other abilities?

She could definitely be considered like a bulldozer. She loves getting in people’s faces and taking them head on. She’s very impatient on the battlefield, so she really likes using abilities like biotic charge that allow her to zoom up to her enemy real quick.

24 Days: Which squadmates do you think will best compliment Ryder’s combat style? Alternatively, who do you plan to take out most in the field?

Companions like Vetra or Cora would prolly compliment her style well since they seem much more tactical. 

23 Days: Which weapons or category of weapons will Ryder prefer? Describe their favorite loadout.

She is absolutely in love with shotguns and never leaves the ship without one. It’s short-ranged and powerful and she couldn’t ask for anything better. She also really takes to melee weapons like the asari swords. 

22 Days: Will Ryder craft? What are you most excited about crafting? Do you have any names in mind already for weapons?

Tobin takes really good care of her weapons, so she’ll definitely be adding modifications to them rather quickly. She also unironically likes really edgy names, so she carries around a shotgun she named “Krogan’s Fury.” 

21 Days: What are Ryder’s personality traits? Describe 5 strengths and 5 flaws.

She’s very outgoing and friendly, but she’s also laid back in a sense that she doesn’t get shaken or worried very easily (unless it involves her brother). She’s a great friend, and will listen to anyone when they need her. But she also has no filter and often says things without thinking them through. She also has trouble focusing, which ended up affecting her performance in school. Despite that, she can come across as a bit too cocky.

20 Days: What first impressions does Ryder tend to give people? Do they have any ‘odd’ or specific mannerisms, habits or other quirks? How do they present and carry themselves?

She gives off a jock vibe. Some people have it in their heads that she’s not too bright since she values sports and is generally pretty loud. She also walks with her head up high, which puts some people off. But once people get to know her, she’s almost universally liked because she’s an easy person to be yourself around.

19 Days: Where would Ryder fall in the classic Paragon/Renegade morality system? What would their D&D alignment be? If you know their personality type in any personality typing systems (such as MBTI and Enneagram - you can find various type descriptions and tests using Google), feel free to add and discuss them here.

Tobin would fall closer to Paragon because she truly wants to help humanity and all those in need. When a situation involves her friends, she occasionally makes rash decisions when things could have been solved peacefully. I would consider her to be Neutral Good. 

18 Days: What qualities does Ryder like and dislike in other people? Are there any things they particularly appreciate or can’t stand?

She doesn’t take too well to people who think they’re above everyone else and assert their opinions when no one asked. She tends to make the closet bonds to those quieter than her. When she was younger, she grew up with sports teams full off outgoing girls like her, so she learned to appreciate those who are more lowkey. But she still gets along with others like her since they tend to share her same enthusiasm. 

17 Days: List some of Ryder’s favorite things - colors, food, music, etc. Is there anything of this nature that they hate? Do they have any hobbies or skills outside of combat?

She loves music and she’s quite gifted musically.  Along with her brother, she has a naturally good voice, and they often sing with each other to lift their friends moods and overall have a good time. Tobin is also particularly attached to soccer and will practice shooting whenever she can. When she’s aboard the Nexus, it’s the one thing she misses most. 

16 Days: How would Ryder define their sexuality?

She’s gay and has known it all her life. Her brother is bisexual, but he came out at a much older age.

15 Days: Delve into the Ryder family background - how is/was their relationship with their father, sibling and mother? Do they get along, hero worship, close twin connection, sibling rivalry, was it strained, was it distant, etc.

Both Tobin and Christian have never gotten along with their father. They always found him too uptight, and he never seemed to have time to devote to them. When their mother died, Tobin used her sports as an excuse to say away from home as much as possible so she wouldn’t have to be stuck around her father. She is, however, extremely close with her brother. They were each other’s best friends after their mother died, and their bond grows stronger with each passing day. 

14 Days: Describe some important or formative events in Ryder’s history. How did these impact and shape them?

Honestly, the death of their mother shaped them the most. After she was gone, they had no one they could hide behind. They were forced to grow up because they knew their father wouldn’t bother making an effort to care for them. They elevated each other into who they are today.

13 Days: Why did Ryder join the Alliance military? Later on, what were Ryder’s reasons for signing up to the Andromeda Initiative? Were they seeking adventure (or glory, or a challenge), wanting a new start, running from something, following their family, trying to secure a future for humanity, did they simply feel railroaded into it, etc.

She wanted to get away. After a while, it felt as though there was no more room to grow while stuck on the Citadel. She wanted to test herself, prove that she had the potential to be great. At first, she wasn’t too happy her father was chosen to be the Pathfinder, but she soon realized that she would be able to prove her worth to him through this journey. She signed up as fast as she could.

12 Days: How will Ryder feel upon waking up from cryo? Relieved, excited, scared, impatient to get going, lost, etc.

She’s disoriented but excited. She’s ready to explore their new world, make a name for herself. However, that excitement turns to uncertainty once she realizes her brother hasn’t awakened. Tobin believes in herself deep down, but this is a big new thing and for all the major hurdles in her life, she has had Christian by her side. It takes adjustments for sure.

11 Days: Once in Andromeda, what are Ryder’s goals? What drives them?

Proving to herself that she can be what humanity needs to find a new world. The closer she becomes to her squadmates, the more she strives for success because she wants a bright future for them as well.

10 Days: Will Ryder ever miss the Milky Way? What things and places will they miss most?

A part of her will always miss the Milky Way. It was her home, and her fondest memories (her mother) will remain in the galaxy forever. She also misses the old soccer field she played on with her friends. But at the end of the day, she doesn’t regret her decision to join the Andromeda Initiative, and she elects to make new memories that are just a good.