#unhinged agent time
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the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone · 2 months ago
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The FBI is asking tumblr denizens to wait one more week before making the Healthcare CEO Shooter a tumblr sexyman. Please and Thank You.
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the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone · 5 months ago
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*into walkie-talkie* Take the shot
big news from the girl factory! they’re inventing a new kind of girl who is both taller than you and also kinda faggy with it
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syncogon · 30 days ago
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— it was all for Lu Guang?
Link Click Live Action (2024)
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artsyaprilmr · 2 years ago
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Some sketchezzz
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carlottastudios · 8 months ago
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Every day I get closer to making an unhinged behemoth of a post listing all of the things about Kaeya and his possible connections to mythology & stuff that I notice but NOBODY ELSE SEEMS TO BRING UP IN THEIR THEORIES
(edit: OMG I reached the tag limit I'm so sorry)
#genshin impact#kaeya alberich#the unhinged behemoth of a post would also include all the reasons I DON'T think Kaeya is up to anything nefarious#if I see 1 more “kaeya will betray us” or “kaeya is allied with the abyss” theory ISTG I'm gonna break something#also WHY. WHY IS NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY MENTIONING THE POSSIBILITY THAT#EVEN IF KAEYA IS WORKING “WITH” THE ABYSS ORDER#IT'S AS A DOUBLE AGENT?!?!!?#LIKE HE'S GETTING INTEL FROM THEM FOR THE PURPOSE OF FEEDING IT TO THE KNIGHTS OR TO DILUC OR SOMETHING#AND HE'S ALSO STABBING THE ABYSS ORDER IN THE BACK#IT'S A SNEAKY TACTIC THAT'S NOT EXACTLY HONOURABLE AND PUTS HIM VERY MUCH IN HARM'S WAY BUT IT'S FOR THE SAKE OF KEEPING PEOPLE SAFE#HOW IS THAT NOT THE MOST KAEYA THING EVER?!?!?#WHY AM I SEEMINGLY THE ONLY ONE THINKING ABOUT THIS?!?!?!#I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS#also why is no one bringing up Kaeya's possible connections to king Arthur???#I mean HELLO?! secret possible royal lineage raised as a ward/foster child/adopted child of a noble family alongside an older brother?!!#and why aren't more people talking about Kaeya's connections to Lord Krishna???#again spirited away from his actual family to be raised in another family alongside an older brother figure who has less chill than him???#not to mention peacock feather imagery and being pitted against an evil uncle#if you believe that Clothar is Kaeya's uncle rather than a direct ancestor#there is so much more I could bring up and I'm not even an expert in any of this nor am I the best at research#but I should probably save those for an actual post#plus I don't want to flood these tags more than I have#I have so so so many things to say about Kaeya#he lives in my heart rent free he makes me feel and think so much he is truly the most beloved of all my beloveds#truly the blorbo of all time for me#if even 1 person expresses interest in all my theory-esque thoughts on Kaeya I will have won at life#this is an invitation guys please ask me to talk more about kaeya
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coulsons-left-arm · 28 days ago
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You remember that "fathers finding their kids as babies," post I made of Coulson and Daisy the other day?
Yeah, I'm dropping the fic here since people aren't seeing it in my reblog (I'm so sorry about that 💀😭).
So here's a subpar 1.4k of Coulson and May finding the 084 (aka Daisy) back in 1989. 🫶🏻
Coulson and May are called in for a level 8 classified op even though they're entry level agents. It's all hands on deck for this one, so they're a little nervous, but May is holding it in well while Coulson is tryna be extra goofy (that's how she knows he's nervous).
Boots on the ground, and it's an absolute massacre. Many SHIELD agents look like they've been torn to shreds, and it's hard to look at, but they assess all but one are dead. Coulson leans closer to an agent who's last breath was used to "Find the squad leader." He closes the eyes of the dead and hopes and prays they can get at least one of their men out alive.
May happens upon the squad leader propped up under a bridge, covered in blood... But he's holding something? She looks closer to find something bundled up in a piece of bloodied fabric... And it's a baby... Fast asleep by the looks of it.
Gunfire behind them starts to pop off. They have to act fast. May grabs the baby and holds it close to her chest, staying low and trying to soften her steps to avoid any jostling of the little one. Coulson was able to fireman carry the squad leader's body back to the jet right before the ramp closed. It was close, but the agents and baby made it out unscathed.
Coulson leaves the squad leader's body with one of the spare agents, giving a moment to honor his sacrifice, before heading over to May who was still holding the baby. She's covered in blood which was hard to look at, but her features were cute, juxtaposing the sight. Coulson runs a finger along her cheek, wiping some of the blood off her and earning a tiny, content yawn.
It wasn't too terribly long before they landed, immediately greeted by scientists and a doctor who removed the child from May's arms. The baby began to cry, and the two agents felt a pang in their stomach. They had to trust that they would take care of the little one.
~~~~~
It had been three hours with no word from the analysis department. Coulson couldn't take it, so he marched down there and was greeted by some upset scientists at his presence. He didn't have high enough clearance level to know what was going on, but he could hear the high pitched cries just beyond the doors. He fought his way through the twiggy researchers, and was met with a horrifying sight.
They *did* clean her off, but they had kept her all but naked and on a hard surface like a specimen... Which she was far from being. Multiple vials of blood samples were nearby and he almost absolutely *lost it* on a nearby white coat. He ran through the grasping arms trying to stop him, but he was able to snatch the protesting baby up and hug her close to his chest. Cradling her, her cries were beginning to wane while scientists were flapping their gums about "unknown origins" and "possible contaminates." But it didn't matter.
They were treating a *baby* like a *lab rat*, poking and proding the poor thing.
May reached the lab, all eyes on her and giving way. The analysts knew better than to mess with someone who graduated from Ops. She walked over to Coulson, standing her ground and signalling over the doctor. She demanded he find "something to cover the baby." From the bunching of his shirt collar in her fist, he read her loud and clear and retrieved a diaper and a fuzzy blanket. Although he never had any experience, Coulson's confidence carried him through cladding the baby in the diaper, and returned her to his grip, laying the blanket over her back and over the top of her head. He could feel a little spot of drool forming on his chest through his PT shirt, but he didn't mind. Her little body wasn't squirming and her breaths came easy with a couple hiccups dappled in for good measure. He swayed side to side as May almost took out one of the scientists who dared to inch closer and asked if she had eaten at all since they took her.
Of course not...
But formula was quickly retrieved from *somewhere* (honestly, did SHIELD just keep baby stuff on base? And what for??? Was it normal for babies to show up on their doorstep???? If so, Coulson wasn't taught about any of this in his training...), along with a bottle and a pacifier.
May singlehandedly scared all of the analysts outside the lab, including the heartless doctor, and locked them out. They found the light switch and dimmed it for the baby. Who knows how long they kept poking and proding her. They snuck out the back entrance with her, finding a way to Coulson's bunk since May was currently sharing hers with another junior agent. They had snatched the Bunsen burner from the lab, and May snuck out and snatched a pan and a few bottles of water from the mess hall. She noted a silent alarm had been activated and kept to the shadows, avoiding cameras to get back to Coulson's room.
She was met with an evergrowing fussy baby in Coulson's arms as he was trying to keep her calm and soothed by gently speaking sweet nothings over her head as he sat on the edge of his bed. They both made quick work with the formula, getting the bottle to a warmer temperature they thought might be right. Neither of them knew *exactly* what they were doing or how to do it, but it sure was better than the treatment the scientists were putting the baby through.
Coulson shifted the baby from his shoulder to the crook of his elbow, and grabbed the heated bottle as the baby's cries were coming to a crescendo. Guiding the nipple into her mouth, she ceased her racket, and began frantically sucking while looking up at him with wet, red rimmed eyes. He couldn't help but swipe away some of the wet tears coating her chubby cheeks, smiling softly at her.
"Is that what you wanted?" He cooed over the light sucking sounds. "Does it taste okay? It's our first time making this stuff, so it's probably not five star worthy. Sorry about that."
It must've not been too bad since she consumed almost the whole bottle, her sucking coming to a slow as her eyes began to droop.
But aren't you supposed to burp babies after they eat? That was a thing, right? As much as he didn't want to disturb her entering a slumber, Coulson set the bottle down and propped her back up to his shoulder, patting her back. It didn't take long before he felt a warm sensation drip down the back of his shirt.
"She spit up, didn't she?" May nodded her head, looking towards his dresser drawers. "Second drawer from the top. Don't care which one.... As long as it's not my Cap shirt. Don't want her messing up that one." He received a scoff as he settled the baby in between his closed thighs, carefully pulling off his dirtied shirt. He twisted behind him to reveal nothing got on his sheets, a sigh of relief eacaping his chest. But the baby began whimpering, so he didn't wait for May to throw a shirt at him before picking up the (once again) fussy baby and cradling her close to his bare chest. She seemed to immediately quiet at the contact. Maybe it was the heat from his bare skin on hers? Maybe she could hear his heart thumping in his chest? Maybe... Maybe she just *liked* him??? Yes, it was a silly thought, but Coulson knew a lot of people liked him, whether it was someone he met out in the street, or a fellow junior at the academy. Maybe he had a similar effect on babies?
He snapped out of his silly thoughts when a lump of fabric hit his side, seeing an olive green t shirt sitting at his side.
"Thanks, May... But I don't know if I want to put that on quite yet. Look," he said as he twisted his torso in her direction. She peered over at the bundle against his chest, Coulson possibly seeing the tiniest sparkle in her eye. Completely forgetting to close his dresser drawer, she slowly padded over and sat down next to him on the bed, eyes trained on the little one who's breaths were lightly puffing against Coulson's chest hairs. She reached a finger towards one of the tiny balled up fists, her breath slightly hitching when it uncurled and grabbed a hold. The baby seemed the most calm they had seen her since finding her, settled deeply and undisturbed by the outside world. May carefully reached for the baby blanket that was discarded on top of the bed and draped it over Coulson's front.
"Maybe you should lie down with her," she suggested. "Make sure she gets some rest." It seemed reasonable, especially since they saved the poor little one from torture. It felt *right* to give her some rest. Coulson scooted back across the covers carefully, lying down against his pillow and feeling the gravity of the tiny weight naturally press against his chest.
There were a whole lot of things swirling around his brain. A sense of fierce protectiveness. Of unconditional love even though he only just met her. Of some sort of gap that filled that he didn't even know was there? Or maybe he did, but never acknowledged it? Either way, something in him wanted to break, but it would have to wait for later.
May reached for the baby blanket, covering up the both of them just right and placed a gentle hand over the baby's back... Which was also where Coulson's hand was. He'd be lying if his heart didn't skip a beat... Or two.
"I should probably head out and grab a couple things--"
"Stay?" The single word escaped his mouth before his brain could even catch it. He could feel his ears go warm at the way her hand's weight shifted on top of his. It almost left, but at his word it stopped for a moment before returning pressure.
*She wanted to stay, too.*
"...Okay." And before his brain could even process, let alone his bleeding heart, his partner in crime laid down next to him on her side, facing him and the baby, keeping her hand planted over his.
Coulson's mind boggled at the fact that he was shirtless, with a random baby on his chest snoozing away, unaware that he had his academy crush lying in his bed with him (fully clothed, but honestly, he wouldn't have it any other way).
Fury wasn't kidding that SHIELD was unlike any opportunity he would ever receive in his lifetime.
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risetherivermoon · 1 year ago
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im as focused on hermie as the rest of everyone is but...
im curious to know if grant heard/saw linc strangling agent schmegan and saying the line about killing his family, like-
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xenon-demon · 2 years ago
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In a steddie doctor who AU neither of them are the doctor. ROBIN is the doctor and Steve is her long term companion who basically just lives in the TARDIS with her because he didn’t have a whole lot keeping him where he was originally from. They meet Eddie when they’re in Hawkins in the 80s investigating some strange events that scream of spacetime fuckery and Steve goes “can we keep him 🥺” and Robin says yes absolutely - after hitting Steve with the I Know What You Are eyes of course. Once it’s established he can come back without anyone missing him (cause yknow, time travel) Eddie is thrilled to come with them because oh my god??? Aliens are real??? TIME TRAVEL is real???? Eddie’s got enough self-authored Star Trek fanfiction hidden under his bed to not need to think twice about this decision, okay.
Cue adventures and shenanigans and Eddie having the classic companion dilemma of “I love travelling with you and also am kinda falling in love with Steve but I also have friends (the CC boys) and family (Wayne) I really care about waiting for me back in Hawkins that I can’t just abandon”. I’m thinking the solution to that is something along the lines of Steve settling down with Eddie and staying with him on Earth, either in his original time in Hawkins or somewhere/sometime else with Robin generously helping Wayne out so he can go with them.
Also Eddie demands they use time travel for the greatest possible good: allowing him to see all his favourite metal bands live in concert in their prime.
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vaguely-concerned · 3 months ago
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I am for sure inextricably mariana trench deep in dragon age brain right now and not coming out any time soon, but some part of my mind and my heart is also always thinking about agent 'where's blue? is blue okay? *passes the fuck out gently smoking from all his circuits post-force lightning*' zero
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ovcii-doodles · 3 months ago
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tinfoil hat girl and some grey guy and his formally suicidal ai's Complicated EmotionsTM
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tortoisesshells · 1 year ago
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(43 + 117)
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the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone · 3 months ago
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This FBI joke account did want to make a joke about vote tampering regardless of which presidential candidate won, but unfortunately, it is not a joke this year.
Sometimes having a satire account that cosplays as a disgruntled FBI worker is just a sad job.
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horrorsteve · 2 years ago
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flight took off an hour late bc they needed to wait around for oven trays for meals for first class. which never even came. so they screwed everyone else on this flight trying to make a connection for wimpy ass rich people who can’t bear to not have a meal on a 4hr flight. and when i ask for help concerning if i’ll be able to make my connection i just get “i’m sorry” ok thanks for being less than helpful 👍🏼
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the-hype-dragon · 2 years ago
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ok I am a hater but it would do a lot of people who make "literary criticism" content a lot of good not to have bad faith readings of every stupid little word an author puts on paper
like I remember reading a sporking/blow-by-blow of some cassie clare book here on tumblr years ago, this character was saying shit that you were obviously supposed to find objectionable--because he was a villain and he was saying it to his traumatized mother who felt like a bad mom already because of the crap her husband pulled on her in the backstory--but then the person writing this critique went off on this tangent talking about how oh no ladies you aren't a bad mom just because of this that and the other thing and I was sitting there like, are you for fucking real right now, like they were acting like cc was sitting here saying "oh yes, this obvious bad guy is totally parroting my own opinions about women and moms in particular" I felt like I was idk I felt like I was going kinda crazy
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oneofreid · 21 days ago
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Close for Comfort
Summary: A new hot tub is installed at your apartment complex. You find yourself sneaking a dip at the same time as a particular BAU agent. But how much room can steaming water truly hold for two?
Pairing: Spencer Reid x F!Reader
Warnings: (18+ Content) Typical smut except heavier? and Spencer being a perv/slightly unhinged while being horny lol. Slight degrading. Descriptions of fingering, handjob, and unprotected p in v sex (wrap it before ya tap it). Public sex like damn get a room.
A/N: lord…….first ever fic. i think i might’ve blacked out with this. read my other fics here
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Glistening sweat formed a thin line above your hairline, a few drops slowly running down the nape of your neck.
The heaving of your chest as you wiped the remaining sweat off your face. Still in need of a dip in the newly installed hot tub that was just emplaced at your apartment complex. Your body bruised and aching from how intense the workout you had just finished was.
A shade of purple and blue spots aligned various spots on your body. Some held a greener tint due to the start of healing. You hated the look, but nonetheless, you were one of the strongest agents on the team. Therefore, you got beat up pretty badly trying to take down different unsubs at times.
Slipping on a your favorite bikini, the fabric was snug accentuating your curves. A towel in one hand while another held a water. Closing the door to your room, making way towards the other side of the apartments. It was late at night, nearly one o’clock. You knew everyone else was bound to be asleep or at the very most, doing their own thing.
At least that’s what you hoped.
Sliding the back gate shut before passing the in-ground pool that had also been splurged on by your landlord. The cool marble of the backyard patio on your feet with every step. Only to halt at the sight of someone else in the hudson bay spa.
His chocolate brown eyes turning at the sound of your footsteps, his attention now all on you. Arms rested on the tub’s edge like an eagle spreading its wings to fly. The muscles in his biceps visible, a few veins poking out as well. Your eyes dropped down to his chest, strong pecks on full display. The dips in his broad shoulders giving away the idea that although he was lean, he was fit and worked out quite frequently.
“I thought I was the only one awake during this hour,” The sound of his velvety-voice snapped you from drinking him in. His eyes still completely on you.
Your cheeks heated up, a faint blush painting them red with embarrassment. Mentally kicking yourself for gawking at the man in front of you, not only was he your undeniably hot next-door neighbor, but your nerdy and charming co-worker at the BAU as well.
Spencer continued, “you can join me, if you want. Hot tubs like this one are made for two people. And they actually have a lot of health benefits like reducing stress, improving quality of sleep, and relieving pain….which can help with healing your bruises quickly.” The water lightly splashing around him as he talked with his hands, again over sharing.
You nodded, smiling lightly at him. Placing your towel and water bottle down before nearing towards the tub. Carefully sinking down into the water, the heat instantly burning your skin. Sighing in content. You leaned against the back wall. The scorching temperature numbing the ache in your exhausted limbs.
Opening your eyes to make instant eye contact with the man in front of you. A smirk pulled his lip, relaxing further back into the tub with a puff in the chest. Pushing his pecks further out, the defined lines of his abs peaking beneath the water.
“You still haven’t spoke a word to me. Are you enjoying yourself honey?,” He spoke after a moment of silence between you two. Nearly choking at the weak use of a pet name he used for you.
Eyes slowly dropping to admire your chest, the cups of your top pushing them slightly hire. A sight that secretly always drove Spencer nearly to the edge.
Clearing your throat at the sight of his chest slowly rising up and down with a trickle of sweat running down, “Yes, the water actually feels very nice.”
“It feels very nice,” his voice slightly mocking yours, “I like the heat…against my thighs,” His voice suggestive, dripping in lust.
Your breathe hitched at his flirty remark. Clenching your thighs together in need, forcing yourself not to drop your eyes any further. Noticing his damp curls sticking to his forehead with droplets of sweat forming. Every bone in your body fighting to run your fingers through his dark colored hair.
You guys were always close, dare to be nothing more than best friends at and outside of work — and unfortunately in this case, neighbors at the same apartment complex. Yet, the sexual tension that had been building between you two these past few weeks was inevitable. It started with lingering glances during briefings, he would look at you like he wanted to devour every inch of you. You thought you were overreacting at first until Penelope…and Derek had pointed it out. Noting that the chemistry the two of you had shared was gradually getting deeper. Spencer always yearning to be close to you, sneaking touches here and there. Whether it be a light hand on your thigh as you glanced over crime scene photos, or the way his hand would sometimes slowly travel down the curve of your back. You knew there was something there, you just weren’t sure….who would make a move first.
A deep cough snapped you out of your filthy thoughts, his thick brow quirking at you. Posing a question of ‘what are you thinking?’ yet he remained silent.
Both of you scrutinizing each other, drinking in each other’s appearance. Atmosphere around you growing thick and heavy, yet all you could do was blame it on the heat. His eyes never leaving yours as you sunk further into the water. The temperature engulfing you like a warm blanket on a cold winters night.
Shutting your eyes closed, in hopes that you’d brush away the burning heat that traveled its way to your core. Along with the dirty images that flooded your mind.
The slosh of water snapping them open, Spencer’s body now right next to yours. Stiffening at his sudden move, you turned to look at him. A smirk still plastered on his face.
“Can I help you?” You asked, a bit more blunt than you intended to.
“There’s too much clothing on,” Spencer drawled.
“Excuse me?” Your eyes widened at his reply, caught off guard by the sudden surge of confidence from the one-and-only, Spencer Reid. The man who was known
“You have too much clothing on.” His eyes slipping from your face to stare at your breasts, covered in thin fabric.
“I don’t understand how exactly that’s a problem here.”
“Oh, honey…” he breathed, twirling a piece of your hair with his finger, “I see the way that you look at me. You crave intimacy but most of all, to be touched by me.”
The air knocked from your lungs at his bold statement, your chest tightened as he exposed you. Confused on how he of all people would know about your deepest desire. To be completely and utterly fucked at the hands of Spencer Reid.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you choked.
His intense gaze burning into your side, mentally forcing yourself to look anywhere but him. You needed to get out. Yet, your legs stayed mounted to the charcoal tub.
Intoxicated by his smell, a hint of cologne and cypress with every inhale you took. A staggering breathe from how close you were to the inviting man beside you.
Lips lowered to the shell of your ear. “Oh. I think you do, my love, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” The little pet name he picked out for you easily rolling off his tongue.
Closing your thighs shut, you attempted to scoot away from him. Desperate to get out before he could tantalize you any further. Hearing the snap of his finger before the material of your top disappeared along with the bottoms.
Yelping in shock, you quickly turned around. The devious look of him amused at your embarrassment.
“Relax, my sweet girl, I prefer you this way. Naked and on display, for my pure enjoyment,” he teased. Eyeing your bare breasts, nipples hardening as a slight breeze blew by.
Bubbles arose blasting at the quick speed that projected into the water. Just your luck, the jets had turned on.
Giving you slight coverage in attempt to cover your bottom half. The fast pressure massaging your muscles as you still remained in shock over what had just occurred.
You felt completely exposed to the man in front of you who held no shame.
A few bubbles had splashed up, dripping down his chin while he waited for your next move. His eyes hunting his prey like a meal in need of devouring.
The look he sent you sending electric waves to your core. A burning sensation stirred inside of you, a temperature that even the water inside of the tub could not satisfy you. The familiar ache of yearning to be touched and pleasured by a man growing by the second.
Your next words even surprising you, a surge of confidence leaving as you spoke. “Well, come fuck me then.”
Closing the distance between you two, moving each leg to straddle his lap. His fingers sliding down to grasp the side of your hips. Grinding your cunt to ease any friction against his swim trunks. A moan leaving your lips at the rough material and growth of his erection from underneath you.
Palming his clothes length, a strangled moan could be heard against your ear. Earning a smirk from you, satisfied with the reaction he gave you. He was withering under you and you both knew it.
Slowly lifting yourself up off of him, “I’m afraid that you have too much clothing on,” you whispered. Reversing the tables and mocking him this time.
Moving a hand down to tug the waistband of his swim trunks down, setting his aching cock completely free. Taking it in your hand before slowly working in a pumping motion, up and down, gripping slightly harder every time you made it to the top. Repeating the movement hastily. Gliding a thumb over his tip, beads of his pre-cum mixed with the body of water that held you two.
The water becoming a lubricant of its own, slipping through your nimble fingers with ease. Taking note of how easily your soft touch affected him. His breathe staggering with every jerk of your hand.
Spencer’s hand tugged your own. Releasing the hold you had on his cock, it was his turn. He needed to touch you.
“Allow me,” he murmured.
His lips attaching themselves to the side of your neck, hungrily sucking the sweet spot below your ear. A mixture of sweat and salt water. Moaning in approval at the magic of his tongue.
Grazing your folds, he delicately ran his fingers through them. Even with the water that submerged you two, he could feel how slick and wet you were for him. Just from his presence alone. Teasing you with one last draw of his finger before slowly dipping one inside of you, your walls welcomed his touch. Adding another digit, pumping it and out, a moan leaving you every time in a serene of pleasure.
Digit after digit. He pumped four fingers inside of you.
Moaning with every pump of his delicate fingers, getting lost in not only his touch but the feel of his lips on your skin. The slick of his fingers sliding in and out of you. Sucking the flesh of your neck to mark up your breasts with delicate kisses.
Pulling his fingers out swiftly, you whined at the absence. Suddenly feeling empty. Chuckling at your reaction, he knew how downright bad you were for him in that moment.
He had you right where he wanted you.
“Such a needy little one, you are,” Spencer crooned at you.
The bubbles stilled around your naked bodies. Your bikini and his swim trunks long forgotten, completely chucked to the side. Both of you drenched in a mix of salt water and sweat.
“Spencer….,” you cried. Your arousal still building up inside of you, the tip of the iceberg. Yet, that wasn’t the tip that you needed.
“I need you….I need you, Spencer,” you began to beg.
Feeling utterly humiliated as you pleaded for out of all people, your fucking co-worker to fuck you. Your body craved to be full of him. To feel his cock fill you up till he fully stretched you to your limit.
Reid snickered, a sense of dominance that he never knew he had coming over him, “Look at you. Begging for my cock. Is that what you want?,” his hand grazing your jaw before gripping it slightly so you could look at him, “For me to fuck you? Fill you with every inch of me until I have you screaming, pleading so that everyone knows who you belong to.”
His mocking words fired something inside of you, arousal practically dripping as it soaked your folds. Nodding eagerly, you began to grind your hips ferociously against him. A spill of ‘yes’s’ and ‘fuck me please’ coming from you.
Pulling you up from the hips, Spencer practically drooled at the sight of the water that dripped from your breasts. His mind spiraling, completely filled with the ideas and images of him fucking you until you couldn’t walk, or even better speak.
Your focus shifted from leaving kisses on the trail of his neck to centering his cock at your entrance. Gently running his shaft along your soaked folds, earning a moan from the both of you, before slowly sinking down. His girth stretching your walls leaving you to fully adjust, taking every inch of him.
A shaky breathe left your lips, never feeling this full before. “Are you okay?,” Spencer asked sincerely. Grabbing your chin, searching for any doubt in your eyes.
He knew he was above average so he gave you a moment to take him all in. You bit your lip, nodding at him.
“I’ll be fine,” you whispered. Slipping a hand behind the nape of his neck, you steadied yourself for support. Running your fingers to through the soft, damp texture of his curls.
Beginning to bounce up and down, the water sloshed around you. Your eyes never leaving his in what is now the most intimate moment you have ever had with Spencer Reid.
“Fuuuuckk…Spence, you’re so big,” you panted.
Your praises fueling his ego, boosting him with pride.
Spencer thrusted beneath you aiding you both to reach your climax. The tip of his cock piercing your cervix with every bounce from you and thrust the he made.
His grunts and moans filling your ears, a mix of your own joining with him. If nobody could hear you before, they definitely could now. Both of you too lost in the pleasure of ravishing each other to care about all your neighbors and people down the street who could hear.
Up and down, you continued to bounce on top of him. You were never a huge fan of riding but suddenly with him, it was the best thing in the world. Your breasts at his eye level while he looked up at you like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and you are.
His hand fell down to circle your clit. Adding another source of stimulation to your nearing climax.
“Come on, sweet girl….don’t be shy. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel, let’s put on a whole show,” he coaxed in your ear.
Quickly pulling out his dick before turning you to face the wall. You clamped a hand over your mouth, muffling the scream that had just erupted from you. The sudden change in position hitting a different angle, a different spot than before. Your chest was flushed up against the wall of the hot tub as Spencer pounded into you from behind. His attempts at getting you to be more vocal succeeding as your pleasure was heard for the whole world to witness.
Moan after moan, shout after shout, the spews of you telling him to go harder and how big his dick was, you cried after each thrust. Each one hitting harder than the last. Tears spilled out of your eyes at the brutal force that Spencer used to help you reach your climax.
Fuck, he heard you tell the girls how you liked it rough.
“You feel so good, taking all of me like this. The good girl that you are,” Spencer praised. Wrapping a fist full of your hair around his wrist. Tugging it ever so slightly which earned another moan from you in return.
Water splashed with every hurried rock of his hips against the flesh of your skin. His heavy balls slamming against your ass, destined to create even more bruising from the grip he had on you.
The sound of waves crashing around you drowned out by the heavy pants and whimpering moans that left both of you.
“My pretty girl,” you felt yourself tighten around him, “Is that right? You’re my pretty girl, you look so beautiful filled with my cock.” He moaned.
Thrust after thrust, his dick disappeared inside of you. Pulling out just before the tip only to slam right back in. It was rough and you knew tomorrow you’d wake up bed bound but damn, it was worth it. Your body jerking every time he forced himself back in while you gripped onto the ledge for dear life. His sweet praises, compliments, and slight taunts tipping you over the edge.
“F..fuck..Spence, I’m gonna…I need to cum,” you panted.
Your stomach tightened, knowing you were almost close and he was nowhere near from slowing down.
“I know, sweet girl, I can feel you,” he rasped. His own stomach coiling from the rapidity of his movements.
He placed a kiss on top of your shoulder blade. “Where…where do you want me to cum?” He panted.
Turning your head to look back at him, his dark curls framed his face. His face contorted in sweet pleasure, heavenly moans leaving his lips at the same time. Your walls clenching even harder around him at the scene of him pussy drunk over you.
“Inside. Cum…I want you to cum inside of me,” you managed to get out. Feeling drunk over his cock as well.
Spencer deeply inhaled, feeling his cock twitch aggressively as he coursed you with every thrust to cum. Screams and moans could be heard from the both of you, as his head fell onto your shoulder. Both of you chasing out a high that you had never felt before.
After performing a couple more lousy thrusts, Spencer rested his head on you. His chocolate curls laying to fall on your shoulder, feeling his chest fall up and down behind you. Your own vision falling blurry at what you could now say was the best sex of your life.
A mixture of both of your cum slowly slid down your leg, his length still buried deep inside of you.
“That was….,” he breathed.
“Amazing,” you finished the sentence for him.
Earning a laugh from the both of you. Spencer slowly pulled out of you causing you to wince, “I’m sorry,” he kissed your forehead.
You turned around placing yourself back on his lap, moving to snake your hands around his neck. “It’s okay, I like this side of you,” you smiled at him.
Both of you exhausted yet still relishing in the presence of each other. His hands rubbing in a circular motion on your hips.
“You know I’ve thought about this for so long,” Reid admitted.
“What? Fucking me in a hot tub outside of our apartment complex,” you teased. Splashing him lightly with the water, watching it glisten and hit his chest.
“No,” he laughed, shaking his head as he continued to stare at you. A look that he had never given you before.
“Turning our friendship into something more than just being friends. You know since we first joined the BAU, I always had this thing for you. Everything about you was just so…so magnetic and captivating. There was just somethin-“
You cut him off, babbling and over explaining being a bad yet adorable habit of his. Closing the small gap that was between you, connecting your lips with his as you finally gave him a true and passionate kiss.
Leaning back you took him all in, “It’s a date. Tomorrow, we can head to the coffee shop that you love down the street before work.” This would be the start of something new.
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altruistic-meme · 10 months ago
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i know it's been said a million times by now but Neil making the FBI agents give him a to-go container before going with them to the headquarters and then pulling it out MID INTERROGATION to continue eating is so fucking unhinged. i love him so fucking much. i fully believe that was a completely intentional power move on Neil's part i doubt he was even that hungry he just wanted to be a little bitch.
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