#unfunny joke

[secretly-a-polar-bear]

How fucking dare, you come into my house, fuck my wife and you don’t even offer any of your bean dip casserole?!

[hypnotickale]

Hypnotist who is bad at flirting: Is your name "other shoe" because I'm waiting for you to drop ;)

[literallys-illiteracy]

i like the naming scheme of the W corp skills, some people having "leap" and more recently outis having "Charged Leap", as well as the escalation from "rip" to "rip" to "rip space" to "Rip Dimension(// Dimension Rip [DDEDR])" the only thing i have yet to figure out regarding this is what a "ple" is

[i-am-trans-gwender]

Xenomorph: Knock Knock!

Thomas Kane: Who's there?

Xenomorph: Interrupting xenomorph!

Thomas Kane: Interrupting xenomo-

A chest burster comes out of Thomas

[gorepill]

my to my buddy, last name Cysm: Yeah idk why nobody will hire you Ray :(

[snackerhacker9000]

i hate this

[noelleaxolotl]

Daroach is doing what

[phalangenibbler572]

oh boy, my two favorite temperatures, hot and

[plsijustwantausernameilike]

my mom’s always talking about “economy” and how bad they are

like girl ur married

[goingnearlyinsane]

until you the what

so this European clothing retailer decided to advertise their jean cuts on youtube and it's unintentionally the funniest shit I've seen today. why? well.

now important context here: in German, die (pronounced 'dee') is just a feminine article, it literally means "the".

but if an ad gets placed in the middle of an English video and doesn't use a single explicitly German word for most of the ad, even a native speaker is gonna think "they want me to die how?" it keeps getting funnier.

I mean, holy shit

i will use these as reaction images until i die

[secretly-a-polar-bear]

Quick and easy way to have a ride home. First walk home then get hid by a car, then you can have the ambulance drive you home. And that’s how you have the most expensive Uber ride ever.

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

[heshmmity]

f4f (fag4fag)

[cassandra-the-wonder-whore]

Dude this is worth at least two in the bush

‘A spotted flycatcher pair nesting in the palm of a statue’ (by Zsolt Semperger, original post here)

[noelleaxolotl]

be my tack

[hangrycat223]

What does every beekeeper need?

A PH𝐁𝐄𝐄